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This shit is real.
Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.22 -
Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!30 -
Procrastination is like masturbation: it feels good while you're doing it but you're only fucking yourself.
- I remember this every time, it doesn't help much but it does make me chuckle.12 -
CTO: I heard about this great architecture of microservices. What is it exactly?
Me: it's building many servers with one responsbility each.
CTO: That sound good. But let keep it simple and build only one big microservice.
Me: 😲
(True story from a comapny a worked for)8 -
Bulma framework, thanks for existing!
Lightweight, CSS only, very fucking easy to use and understand and a beautiful!
As a backend/server/security guy, front end is hell on earth for me. I understand the basics but that's it.
This fucker makes it so simple!19 -
GF: Why are working so late?
Me: Because no matter what I do, everything is working correctly.
GF: What....
The only career when you have to work late because everything is working like it should (cannot reproduce an issue).19 -
Me typing
git rebase --help
GF: What!? Oh... nevermind it says rebase. I thought it said rebae.
Me: What?
GF: I'm the only bae you need in your life!
Me: ... This is going on devrant.2 -
Am I the only one who learns more on my own than at university? It really annoys me when I come here to study but all I do is read devRant posts all day, they are good tho.
19 -
Parents:why is my iPad so slow?
Me: It's old (1st gen that came out in 2010)
P:well just clean it up and make it go faster
M:Theres nothing to clean... Theres only a browser app and solitaire....
P: well just fix it so it's faster
M:....... *turns it off and on again*
M: All fixed1 -
Talking to girlfriend:
Me: “Hey could you send me the google maps location of the place?”
Girlfriend: “Sure.”
*Receives a link that only says http://maps.google.com or some shit, no query params or anything*
Me: “Hun, there’s nothing on that link.”
Girlfriend: “There is, just click on it!”14 -
Is it just me or am I the only one who gets pissed if someone checks the expected result of a variable first?
For example:
if(true === $var)
Instead of:
if($var === true)
19 -
Wife - my site is not working, everything in the code looks correct. But it is only throwing me 404 all over
Me - "blaming the teacher for giving bad shit"
Wife after googling - I fixed it, you have forgot to enable .htaccess in the virtualhost
FFS how long have I been this stupid?12 -
User: We can not register three users on your website, it allowed us to register only first one
Me: What does it say? Some kind of error? Tell me so I can reproduce.
User: Well it says email address is already taken
Me: Uh...
- so yeah, they tried to register three users under the same email address.6 -
Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.
Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”
Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…
Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”
Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!
At the Offshore Development Centre,
Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.
Finally the customization is shown to client:
2 -
Interested? Really? Then how come you called me?
My resumes clearly says my number is for texting only. It also has my LinkedIn address next to it. And the summary on it clearly says that I am deaf and you should email me!
14 -
Manager: The site I loading too slow. How can we improve this?
Me: *f5 & look at the network log* the server is taking too long to respond some image requests. We could encode them into the Html to have them all delivered in a single request.
Manager: GTMetrix says we need to compress the images.
Me: *reads GTMetrix report* we would only have a 150kb improvement. It won't even be noticeable.
Manager: If the images take a long time to load, it means that they're too big, right?
Me: or the server is taking a long time to respond our request for them, which is the case.
Manager: compress the images and upload them.
Me: *compresses the images and uploads them* done.
Manager: I don't see any improvement.
Me: if only there was someone who could have predicted such an outcome...1 -
The past 2 years where I work:
Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...
Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....
Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...
Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...
For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...4 -
!rant
Is it only me who press the [Ctrl] + C multiple times to make sure the content is copied to clipboard properly 😅
*I can't help it, pressing [Ctrl] + C multiple times is kind of satisfying*7 -
Client: This blue looks a bit too white against the white background, please make it more standout.
Me: But this is your corporate colour and it is one of the colours in your branding guide. In it, there is also a warning saying “don’t use colours outside our palette” and “don’t use coloured typography on coloured background”. So you should use this blue only on white and you are not suppose to change the colour.
Client: Yeah, keep the colour but make it more saturated and change the tone a bit, so it has more contrast.
Me: 🤔11 -
Client: "we need a piece of software to have our son be able to talk again"
Me: "what can your son do physically?"
Client: "He can only grip something"
Me: "well, I suppose that is possible by using Intel ACAT, some synthesizer and some switches"
Client: "Never heard of ACAT, probably some small program that nobody else heard of"
Me: "It was used by a great man called Stephen Hawking. If it worked for him, it should work for your son"
Client: "Who is Stephen Hawking?"
Me: *urge to put client in wheelchair intensifies*14 -
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to all the pressure at work, and my boss sat me down one day and said "Don't take it so personally, it's only work".
He explained that you simply cannot make all the people happy all the time, you can only do your best, and that is good enough.7 -
One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.
Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.
Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂14 -
Even the big guys fuck up at times and it is ok.
Sometimes I put unnecessary pressure on myself when I fuckup simple tasks. But when I see the big guys fuck up too, it kind of makes me realise that it is ok to fuck up at times. That is the only way to learn.
4 -
the worst part of being the only back end developer in a small digital agency? to me is accomplishing something cool as fuck and nobody can really appreciate it8
-
Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."
So we put it on production.
After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."
"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."
"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"
Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
My apparently my friend's wife gets suspicious whenever his Snapchat goes off after 10pm, always wants to know who it is.
"It's [algo], it's always him sending me pics of his code late at night. That's is the only person that Snapchat me this late"
And it's true.6 -
I have been gone a while. Sorry. Workplace no longer allows phones on the lab and I work exclusively in the lab. Anyway here is a thing that pissed me off:
Systems Engineer (SE) 1 : 😐 So we have this file from the customer.
Me: 😑 Neat.
SE1: 😐 It passes on our system.
Me: 😑 *see prior*
Inner Me (IM): 🙄 is it taught in systems engineer school to talk one sentence at a time? It sounds exhausting.
SE1: but when we test it on your system, it fails. And we share the same algorithms.
Me: 😮 neat.
IM: 😮neat, 😥 wait what the fuck?
Me: 😎 I will totally look into that . . .
IM: 😨 . . . Thing that is absolutely not supposed to happen.
*Le me tracking down the thing and fixing it. Total work time 30 hours*
Me: 😃 So I found the problem and fixed it. All that needs to happen is for review board to approve the issue ticket.
SE1: 😀 cool. What was the problem?
Me: 😌 simple. See, if the user kicked off a rerun of the algorithm, we took your inputs, processed them, and put them in the algorithm. However, we erroneously subtracted 1 twice, where you only subtract 1 once.
SE1: 🙂 makes sense to me, since an erroneous minus 1 only effects 0.0001% of cases.
*le into review board*
Me: 😐 . . . so in conclusion this only happens in 0.0001% of cases. It has never affected a field test and if this user had followed the user training this would never have been revealed.
SE2: 🤨 So you're saying this has been in the software for how long?
Me: 😐 6 years. Literally the lifespan of this product.
SE2: 🤨 How do you know it's not fielded?
Me: 😐 It is fielded.
SE2: 🤨 how do you know that this problem hasn't been seen in the field?
Me: 😐 it hasn't been seen in 6 years?
IM: 😡 see literally all of the goddamn words I have said this entire fucking meeting!!!
SE2: 😐 I would like to see an analysis of this to see if it is getting sent to the final files.
Me: 🙄 it is if they rerun the algorithm from our product. It's a total rerun, output included. It's just never been a problem til this one super edge case that should have been thrown out anyway.
SE2: 🤨 I would still like to have SE3 run an analysis.
Me: 🙄 k.
IM: 😡 FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU
*SE3 run analysis*
SE3: 😐 getting the same results that Me is seeing.
Me: 😒 see? I do my due diligence.
SE2: 😐 Can you run that analysis on this file again that is somehow different, plus these 5 unrelated files?
SE3: 😎 sure. What's your program's account so I can bill it?
IM: 😍 did you ever knooooow that your my heeeerooooooo.
*SE3 runs analysis*
SE3: 😐 only the case that was broken is breaking.
SE2: 😐 Good.
IM: 🤬🤬🤬🤐 . . . 🤯WHY!?!?
Me: 😠 Why?
SE2: 😑 Because it confirms my thoughts. Me, I am inviting you to this algorithm meeting we have.
Me/IM: 😑/😡 what . . . the fuck?
*in algorithm meeting*
Me: 😑 *recaps all of the above* we subtract 1 one too many times from a number that spans from 10000 to -10000.
Software people/my boss/SE1/SE3: 🤔 makes sense.
SE2:🤨 I have slides that have an analysis of what Me just said. They will only take an hour to get through.
Me: 😑 that's cool but you need to give me your program's account number, because this has been fixed in our baseline for a week and at this point you're the only program that still cares. Actually I need the account to charge for the last couple times you interrupted me for some bullshit.
*we are let go.*
And this is how I spent 40+ useless hours against a program that is currently overrunning for no reason 🤣🤣🤣
Moral: never involve math guys in arithmetic situations. And if you ever feel like you're wasting your time, at least waste someone else's money.10 -
My colleague want to change notification sound on application I created. I said it support only WAV file. What they do is change extension of MP4 file to WAV and report me that my program isn't work.
*sigh*1 -
UI/UX Team: "We're using a new piece of software; all you developers can install it, its going to revolutionise our workflow and collaboration"
Me: *checks download page* ... "Only supports MacOS... FFFUUUU"
Where is all the linux love these days -_-9 -
Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…24 -
Doesn't it look like Bixby(New virtual assistant from Samsung) logo got inspired a bit from Clippy(Microsoft office assistant)?
Or is it only me?
5 -
AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO READS THE CSS !important RULE AS ACTUALLY SAYING THAT SOMETHING IS _NOT_ IMPORTANT EVEN WHEN IT MEANS THAT IT _IS_?!!
Just kill me.7 -
Other services : Please type your phone number to verify that it is you. It will be only used for verification process.
Me : Sure, why not? (Happily types in my number)
Facebook : Please type your phone number to verify that it is you.
Me : Hmmm (sees help)
Facebook : It will be used for verification process and will be visible to your friends. You can always change the scope settings.
Me : (reads as...) It will be used for verification process and will be visible to your friends and will be automatically sent to the NSA for free. You can always change the scope settings when you become the CEO of Facebook.
#deletefacebook -
Found out that the company I'm currently working, gave me only 6 mandatory holidays for this calendar year. When I asked my boss why is it too low, he got so furious as if I asked him to donate his kidney!10
-
Got a new job as devops.
Got brand new thinkpad on day 0, it was waiting for me out of the interview room.
I think I'll like it here 😃
Only thing I'm thinking about is if I should continue with doing devops/sysadmin or go back to programming...
15 -
My Nexus 6P died yesterday..
A new battery that I ordered for it months ago, arrived.. today.
4700mAh. If only I could've tested it.
This feels so much like it was just to rub it in a little bit further that that Nexus is gone forever.. just before I could fix the first shitstain, the second one occurred already... Fuck me :')9 -
Is it only me or does anyone else think that they are a bad developer? Everytime im on devrant i think that i dont know shit.. :(7
-
Finally D-Booted Ubuntu on my home computer.
Now I'm just waiting for the frantic texts from my wife during the work week telling me "I hate this new system, get it off our computer."
WOMAN!
You must learn CLI. It is the only way to inner peace.8 -
My Boss wanted to See the Sourcecode of a Website once. So I opened it.
Boss: what Browser is this?
Me: Mozilla.
Boss: Do you have Firefox?
... thank god IT was only an internship.5 -
!rant
Does someone here play Screeps? It's a very interesting MMO game in which you program Creeps do to things like building your base or defending it. The only gameplay is programming.
https://screeps.com
And thats me: https://screeps.com/a/...14 -
New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate28
-
Me: I want to learn Clojure
Me: But I need real tasks to learn
Me: OK, reconnecting device with wireless adb
Inner me: Are you kidding? 5 lines with bash
Me: In clojure it will be more elegant and faster to write similar tasks in future
*2 hours later*
Me: IT WORKS
Internal me: Really? This is ugly as fuck. And the only clojure feature it uses - sh and re-find
Me: But... It... Works... *cries* -
me: “Realistically, the only way to pull in this data without replicating and without an API feed is to scrape it from the site”
manager -> to the client: “basically he’s got to hack your system to do it”2 -
Same days you just need a duck.
Me: map.get(record.Id)
Code: null
Me: no, map.get(record.id)
Code: null
Me: let's grab this record from the map
Code: null
Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.
Code: null
Me:.......
Code: 😉
Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.
Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.7 -
Is it only me who gets screwed up by such silly little things?
Last night I was working on an Android app. I connect it to a URL. It always threw exception. I scratched my head for one whole hour to find out that Cellular Data was not turned ON on the emulator. 😛1 -
I think my IE knows it's crap & is trying to hide.. xD
Actually took me a second to locate the little mofo on the desktop O.o
Ohe yeah, this is actual window size it opened itself in.. the picture is not cropped.. only magnified when uploaded..
4 -
Visual Studio : the var "listlines" is only assigned but its value is never used
Me : I'm using it on the next line, you piece of sh--2 -
First year at university, prepared to set up multiple electronics.
rPi, arduino Ethernet shield, laptop, and desktop.
Brand new netgear switch to satisfy my internet surfing needs....
After setting up my devices, I realized none of them have internet. Hm. The feed port on my switch wasn't blinking either. So I tell the front desk, and a short 7 days later the port is back on. Yay, problem solved.
One morning I arise to see the port dark and inactive. Furious I use my laptop to share an internet connection while my actual port is "broken".
Support ticket is reopened and this time I get an email saying the port was disabled due to a security issue.
Me: what's the issue?
IT: there was more than two devices connected to the port
(OnLy TwO dEvIcEs PeR port???)
Me: oh okay I will only connect two.
The next day the port is disabled, again.
Me: can you tell me why it was disabled?
IT: a switch was detected being used, security error.
Me: how do I connect more than one device to the port without a switch???
IT: ...
IT: Please only connect one device.
🤔10 -
Me: "Hey, the IP binding on this page is broken"
My boss: "u broke it!"
Bish I haven't touched this project in 24 hours and it was working this morning. You're the only person that has access to it other than me.3 -
Serious considering wiping the Windows 10 partition on my computer.
Only thing keeping me from doing it is the Adobe Suite. Damn it.
If only they made it for Linux, life would be such a blessing.
P.S. : GIMP is not a replacement.16 -
We are currently building a CRM for a company, and we have to demo it for some of the users, two guys start asking couple of questions.
Them: what it is built with?.
Me:PHP, do you know it?
Them: No we only know WordPress.
Me: well WordPress is built with PHP.
them: Ah that's probably why we thought it looked like WordPress.
Me: yeaaah probably... sure :)2 -
So as some of you know, I gave notice. my current company has me for 4 more days.
Why has my manager not given me someone to knowledge transfer to? Do they think I am bluffing? He even admits there is shit only I know!
Whenever I message him about it, he just ignores me. I guess if he wants me to do it later, I can in the weekends for $50 an hour? 🤔🤔8 -
As the first and only dev in our family[including relatives], I find it really hard to answer them whenever they ask me about what it is that I actually do at work.5
-
This is borderline blackmailing: if I choose to have only the "required" cookies, this non-dismissable popup shows up and I have to wait 10 seconds until it closes. That's longer than it takes me to make an online payment!
11 -
Ever since i was a little boy, i was fascinated by the stars in the sky and what made them shine. I used to wonder how our universe came in to being. What made it what it is today. What will happen to it long after we re gone. Will it die? Will it live forever? How big is it? Why is it big if it s big and why is it small if it s small. "God did it" was never a satisfying answer for me. God does not play dice as Albert Einstein said. So many questions went through my 10 12 year old mind. Until someone recommended to me the book, "A brief history of time". The book answered a lot of my questions and gave birth to more. Computer science is like my crush. I love it as a friend. But Astrophysics, its the true love of my life. It not only quenches my thirst, but it satisfies my curiosity, while making me more curious. Its an endless cycle. It teaches us that we came from the stars, we go back in the dirt, and only to be returned to the stars again.
Stephen Hawking, his work, his books, taught me so much. Inspired me. Made me more curious. And today the world has truly lost, one of its greatest people.
You will be missed Sir Hawking. RIP.
-
Deadline : Friday evening
Testing : There is only prod
Deploy : Friday evening
Why : Boss says customer wants it
Me : . . .11 -
We are the 31, it is 00:54, I have a full specification to deliver on the 1rst at 00:00, and there is only half of it done.
Wish me luck for my doc New Year Eve2 -
Elasticsearch queries are FUCKING ugly
Elasticsearch documentation is FUCKING bare-minimum.
Kibana only shows data when it FUCKING feels like it.
Elastic stack is FUCKING annoying me12 -
Working in security for many years only granted me world-class paranoia about taking pictures of myself and my family. It even made it hard to keep in touch with my friends as we don’t live in the same country anymore.
The good side is that it pays well enough to grant me a platinum foil hat.8 -
Client: Each invoice should be it's entity. It should only report it's own open amount. Any other open amounts remain on the other invoices.
Me: No problem. ::Sets invoices to only report own open amount::
PM: Hey, the invoices in UAT are not displaying the sum of all open bills.
Me: I know. The client wants each invoice to only report the open amount on that specific invoice.
PM: That can't be right, change it back before we give the client access to the UAT environment.
Me: No problem. ::reverts invoice changes::
Client: We are failing the invoices. The invoices should not be giving total open amounts for the account. Each invoice should only report the open amount for that invoice. We told the development about this...
PM: I see. I'll make sure he understands your request.
Me: ... ::reverts the revert::
PM: Hey, the invoices in UAT aren't giving a total of the open-
Me: OMFG. I just want this task closed!
Client: After the invoice work is done, we need to talk about past due amounts and how they are reported to customers.
PM: Sure thing. It is logical to give a total of a past due amount to the customer...
Me: ::Starts updating resume:: -
A few days ago someone posted a pic of an ESP8266 microcontroller, so it reminded me that I have one of those lying around with a board with a screen I built during summer, so I thought, why not making a devrant reader, and so here it is:
For now it can only read rants, posting is coming soon, the software keyboard is already implemented
We call it the thing (Accrocchio in italian)
5 -
I am really getting sick of recruiters contacting me with "great opportunities" then when I ask questions about the post they just give me the answers they think I want to hear. I know when you're lying because if you knew the answer you would have led with that. At least say you'll find out more and then give me a follow up response.
Recruiter: Would it be possible for you to deliver hacking training?
Me: You mean pentesting?
R: Yes, that.
Me: Well, what will it be used for? Breaking into peoples networks and spying on them?
R: Yes, they'll want it to be able to spy on people.
Me: Well, that's unethical, I'm only interested in defensive security practices.
R: Yes, they'll only want it for ethical reasons like defence and against bad guys.
Me: *dirtiest look I could muster*
I mean there's gullible and then there's what ever it is you think I am.2 -
The device looks cool and everything....but their reason we should buy it is the winner for me. Not only is that never a problem...but also, spot the mistake
15 -
I just love how liferay keeps finding ways to surprise me...
Customer: need to fix this security issue
me: ok
me: fixed. Testing locally. Works 100%.
Me: testing on dev server. Works 100%
qa: testing on dev server. Works 100%
me: all good. Deploying to preprod
customer: it doesn't work
me: testing preprod - it doesn't work.
Me: scp whole app to local machine. App works 100%.
Me: preview loaded liferay properties in preprod via liferay adm panel. All props loaded ok.
Me: attach jdb to preprod's liferay to see what props are loaded. Only defaults are used [custom props not loaded according to jdb]
me: is there some quantum mechanics involved..? Liferay managed to both load and not to load props at the same time and the state only changes as it's observed...2 -
Alcohol is somewhat only a socialising drug for me - so I never coded when drunk.
Is it an experience worth making?4 -
FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Im trying to rebuild a project but the .exe is active and everytime I kill it a new one spawns......
So my only option left is to restart my laptop. The thing is I always hibernate and that has come to bite me in the ass..
7 -
Short one, but it really gets me every time:
PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!
I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!
Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!
Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????10 -
Found the dragon book, second edition, a pretty famous compiler book at the following url:
http://informatik.uni-bremen.de/agb...
Just in case anyone is interested in it. It kinda trips me out that for 1000+ pages its only 4.somethingmb and apparently it comes from the University of Bremen, it was on the top Google results.
I think its clean, not a security expert, so if someone that is more skilled in it that I am wants to go ahead and check it out let me know11 -
relative: can you help me with my website?
me: ok, what do you need?
them: okay, i have this wordpress homepage that someone made for me and actually, when you go to my image gallery, i only want a simple "back" button that leads to the main page. but i cannot add it via wordpress functionality.
me: okay, i'll make you this button in under 10 minutes, given it doesn't require any fancy design. but i have no experience with messing with wordpress so far... let me check what their templates look like
(after 1 hour): wtf is this mess 😭
...since they only had their production website, i didn't dare to change anything and told them they best hire that dev again 🙈9 -
Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
me: sure
(pulls changes)
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
(doesn't compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
me:
7 -
Friend: i have an idea
Me: what is it?
Friend: uber is not yet here, lets do the app exactly like uber only for the city, can you do that like in one month?
Me: uber is a billion dollar company with several and the best engineers in the world
Friend: so what, just copy the exact same idea, of course the money comes when the app is done
Me: sure... ill call you in a month. (delete conversation) -
Don't tell me I'm the only one who searched if there's any direct option to use Assembly in Python as it is in C.
2 -
Me: "So, this is a new way to show to your clients the daily menu using a QR Code and..."
Client: "I like it. I wanna buy it."
Me: "What?"
Client:"This QR-thing. I wanna be the only one using it"
Me:"But you can't buy the QR Code technol..."
Client:"Don't bother me. I want it. And when I want it, I get it. I can pay, you know."
Me:"Ehm......Oooook."
Me: "It's 10$ for every QR Code that we, and only we, will create! But, hey! Shhh!!"6 -
Java people telling me how it can only run on windows and how locked down the source is. .NET Core people jeez1
-
Started a new job today.
They gave me a Mac.
Why in actual fuck is there no shortcut for the terminal? Took me half a day to get an iterm hotkey working only to find out it only works if you have a terminal open already.
Stupid apple. I want my mod+enter back.8 -
Excuse me driversed.com? THATS NOT HOW MATH WORKS!
I've only taken one test and got a 93%, but it says my average score is a 92%.
Just thought that was kinda funny.
7 -
!dev
Got me a new mouse pad since the only one I had was branded with my last jobs logo. Mordor is right where I usually rest my hand so it will eventually get dirtier and therefore more evil.
8 -
Meeting: Here is the brief. Its specific. Inplement it.
Me: It's done. Gone live.
Client: Can you just change the whole thing to be completely different to my original specific spec? It'll only take a minutes?
Me:
1 -
I started a side project: a small app for my gf and me.
In the end it should consist of different features I call modules. Right now there is only one module that suggests a movie to watch from our watchlist.
7 -
I'm here at work working on my back end security code and my co-worker is watching the Emoji Movie.
I'm strongly against censorship, but this goddamn piece of cock shit makes me almost reconsider it. Noise canceling headphones are about the only thing keeping me from going that far.
//end rant
18 -
1. You find out a new song
2. You love that song.
3. It's your favorite song now.
4. You keep on listening it on repeat for like a 1000 times.
5. Now you hate the song.
Is it only me or is this common ಠ︵ಠ5 -
Who makes monitors which can only change the input if there is a signal on the currently selected input?
Monitor on -> VGA -> No signal -> Going to sleep
Like, let me change it to something which has a signal instead of directly going to sleep again?9 -
Hi , im new to programming and codings and my task is to make a output that outputs even number only ( not odd number) so i wrote this codes but its so complicated for me. Is there a better way to write it?
Thanks dears,,
20 -
Working on an AI that learns to generate quatrains, by only feeding it every letter of the alphabet at the beginning.
It's learning super slowly, but theoretically it works. And with slowly I mean it takes 5000 iterations just to realize the optimal letter frequency to generate a word that is real.
Please just kill me.2 -
Uhm... am I the only one who thinks this is a vague as fuck answer and should've taken more than one sentence to properly inform users of their data protection methods? It can't be just me...
2 -
Boss wants me to become lead developer on a huge project; I still consider myself Junior and feel like there is still more for me to learn before I can even accept something like this. The company is amazing and I would love to step into this role but I fear that I will only disappoint.
What would you do? If I should take it; could you recommend resources that would help me level up?8 -
So, the other day, my teacher told me not to use goto in C#, with only the reason that "it is bad".
Okay teacher, I'm going to continue using it until you give me a valid reason. For example for making one loop instead of two. .-.24 -
It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!9
-
It has been months that I am not working productively. Probably almost a year. I am not sure. Especially development related work. I would only start work at the very very late last minute (mainly because of clients and deadlines) and the outcome is usually very poor. Something is definitely wrong with me.5
-
Ask fairly technical SEO question on Stack Exchange. Only response is a comment telling me it's be easier to do it differently and use HTML instead of Javascript.6
-
Me: Asking a question that boils down to an xy-problem on stackoverflow.
5 upvotes
Me: Answering my own question pointing out that my question basically is an xy-problem and pointing out a direction to properly solve it.
4 downvotes
At least I am not the only one having a brainfart. -
Excuse me?!
You called me to encode this compliance document?
And I'll take care of the contents?
Just follow the format?
And must be submitted to central office/agency? Deadline is today?
Wait, do you know what time is it? It's fvcking 11:40AM PHT and office is only until 5PM.
I'm an IT guy. Your only developer, sysad, and you want me to do a management document? Am I regular like you? Wait, is that even a technical document? Wtf!
I was in the middle of coding and checking our server status when this high-rank employee from the Admin office called me and was told to do this compliance document what has nothing to do with me or even our IT unit. So yeah, this is how crazy some government office work here in PH.2 -
Okay, I usually don't rant about Windows.
But why the flying fuck does it automatically pick a driver for RNDIS5 for a RNDIS6 device (USB tethering on Android devices)? It's hanging many parts of the systems until I change it to the right driver (which is not shown as compatible and warned against whilst being the only one that works). Seriously, I usually never have problems with Windows, but this is the only thing that annoys the fuck out of me with it.6 -
So, a close relative of me is a local politician in my hometown.
I managed his political website for a while but then I completely left it in the hand to who deal whit is PR.
Today he emailed me to update only the header photo. No big deal.
After a bit of scrambling I find what I used when I made that.
FML I hate me of the past
-
Ffs. Am I sick or is it normal that after almost a year at current company, I still love it and have nothing to rant about? It makes me happy and sad at the same time that i have nothing to rant about and this is the only rant i can come up with5
-
I'M A SENIOR DEVELOPER NOT A BUSINESS ANALYST...
IF YOU GIVE ME SOME CRAPPY LEGACY CODE THAT SOMEONE RANDOMLY DECIDED TO USE, THE ONLY WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND IT IS BY RUNNING IT AND REVERSE ENGINEERING THE "BUSINESS LOGIC".
ADD THAT WITH BAD INPUTS... THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING IS WASTING MY TIME..
JUST BURN THE WHOLE THING AND GIVE ME THE REQUIREMENTS OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT....
It feels like I've been fucking a pig all week...
Oh and now my team agrees and will look to get the actual requirements from the business...
This feels like a hallow victory.... As that was the first thing I told them to do.... -
Hey, can anybody help me?
I have to improve this AI for the game Reversi (Orthego).
I do not have any clue how to begin.
I only know we have to do it recursive and the depth is really low because it has to react within 1 second.
The task suggestion is that we can use MinMax, Alpha-Beta....
12 -
Just got a new job.
All good, really enjoying it.
Only problem is, the canteen smells of chips and it's making me very hungry... Water for me :/9 -
Co-worker: "I'm getting files from customers which are in multiple types and encodings. Is there a way to force them to send only us-ascii so my tool gets only one kind which is easier to parse?"
Me: "Welcome to programming with arbitrary sources; you'll just have to build your tools to figure it out and not break (just rely on dozens of existing tools which you refuse to use)"1 -
My olfactory hallucinations really made things complicated. Not only whatever I eat that is not raw iceberg salad smells like rotten flesh, I also can’t choose a deodorant.
I got nivea one and threw it away.
I got old spice one and threw it away.
Now I got chanel one and I like it and I DONT FUCKING KNOW if I like it because it smells good to me or because I’m actually hyperconsumerist no matter how hard I deny it. Does being a hyoerconsumerist make me bad? What is bad in that context? Is a kind of reasoning bad only because if everyone follows that reasoning the world will be fucked? Are there good reasonings then, but not like zen, the ones that actually lead to scientific progress. Is scientific progress a good criteria to judge?23 -
Back when I was at university, during the first lesson of web development class, our teacher said: “If you have any doubt or problem, please ask me. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask!”
A fellow student raised is hand and asked how to do printf in Java (it was totally legit as most of us only used C at that point and it was our only reference in programming).
Our teacher: “What kind of fucking stupid question is this?!?”
😳1 -
TL; DR;
I'm one with code and the code is one with me.
Everything in my life has been inconsistent and as soon as I start building expectations from someone or something, it disappoints. Be it my friends (😂😂) or my ex girlfriend or my studies or my college or my professors or work, or food (sometimes).
Coding, or programming, has been the only consistent and non disappointing thing since 2010 for me. It just works. If I write a wrong program, I know its why and where its wrong and then fixing it works. Sometimes it works in one go. And sometimes is works beyond my expectations. Its like coding chose me rather than me chosing coding. -
Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!5
-
I think subscribe to user rants is broken? It's been a week since I last saw a notification from any of the ranters I subscribe to, even though at least one of them posted a rant today that I saw.
Is it only me? Do I need to report it?
19 -
This is 1:05AM and this is the 3rd time I start over my question to Stack Overflow because I don't know what the fuck is going on with jQuery UI, and when I finally get it, Google finds me both the question and the answer of the same and only dude that had the same problem than me FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO and he couldn't solve it.
Fuck this, tomorrow I'll start over with VueJS.3 -
Is it just me, or is it extremely frustrating that we get so little time for our side projects? I can only manage like 3 hours every night, losing up on sleep.. 😢5
-
am i the only one that finds ui stuff (angularjs+css+makeing it look the way you want-tml etc..) alot harder to master then backend and even low level programming?
is somthing wrong with me??5 -
Trying to get gcc and make onto a 3DS is nigh impossible as my x64 PC won't let me cross-compile and the only ARM device I have is a Pi Zero, but it runs out of memory mid-compile... fml.3
-
QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y
FML2 -
I hate being able to hear my boss in meeting with potential clients. Promising the earth then when the meeting is done tell me we have a week to make it. Not only that but then ask me what half the stuff he's sold actually is and does!?2
-
PM looking at Concept Design: "There were checkboxes and now you have radio buttons"
Me: "Those are two separate screens. One is the user inventory, the other populates an add"
PM: "So which is it? Are we using checkboxes or radio buttons?"
Me:"...both? Each where it makes sense?"
PM: "So what's the point of the radio button? If the user can only click one row, why do we need a radio button?"
Me: "Visual representation of what they selected. We could use row highlighting as well, it doesn't really matter"
PM: "But what's the point?"
Me:"...."7 -
I've tried languages
In count three dozen
But there's only one that doesn't
Stack up against the rest
Of course the one I think is best
It makes me jump and smile with glee
It is in fact
PHP2 -
University: "It is important to distinguish between read-only variables and editable variables. They make it easier to find bugs if you're changing a value that should not be changed"
Me: changes all `const`s and `val`s for `var`s every time I get a re-assign error.2 -
Is it just me or does 16GB RAM feel like overkill on Linux?
I've only seen the RAM usage go up to 6GB at most.
Kinda wish I could just take that 8GB card and stick it into my desktop.13 -
Every bloody time I respond to a comment, devRant asks me to add my 2 cents. I only have pence here, and there is not fucking coin slot!!!! 😡
I tried the lighting port, it doesn’t fit.
Is anyone else experiencing this pay wall?11 -
My task was securing the server, and I finshed it... With only one mistake...
I updated the hosts.deny file to be ALL:ALL which are more secure... But I forgot to add any IPs in hosts.allow... The result is, nobody even me can connect to the server... Luckly it is internal testing server...7 -
Usually my problem is that my colleagues are too distracting.
I just put on headphones and play black metal or hypergrind.
The first is relaxing, the latter overloads my brain to release me of other distraction. It helps me to escape and keep only those things in mind that I actually need.4 -
We are starting a new project where we decieded to use node.js with express.js. It is quite exciting because we have previoisly use node.js only a little and me and my colleagues are eager to learn something new. As I was doing some research I came upon TypeScript. Do you guys think that it is worth spending more time learning TypeScript and use it in upcoming project?6
-
Boss says: Why is our email not working get it to work again.
Me: What the fuck? Only because I am the computer guy does not mean I can make wine out of water. -
Can somebody explain to me why the fuck creating apps on windows sucks so much ASS!!!! Not only the Electron app that I'm creating is a complete MESS, but on top of that, you need it EV signed, or it will be detected as malware. The fucking Digicert people charge $664/year for it!!!! I only wanted to do a stupid productivity app, and It was going to be free, now I don’t know what to do with it. FUCK12
-
Client: Why was the payment applied to the May invoice?
Me: Because that is the only open bill.
Client: We want to apply it to the July invoice.
Me: What business rules exist to hold an invoice open in order for the payment to be applied to a future invoice?
Client: ...can you manually correct this?
Facepalm.4 -
Why is it that clients that could afford my services ask for LESS revisions, but the clients that lowball me or like practically ask me to do their website for free feel OBLIGATED to like try their best to milk the shit out of my services HOLY FUCK man this whole month tired the shit out of me
AND IT'S ONLY AUGUST 32 -
Jit guy who is onboarding me talks slow, stutters(only in English) and talks 3x fucking times than-repeats sentences, tries to talk about things he does not know and ends with “I don’t remember/know it now”. Someone kill me please. I am too soft against these types, how can I say you are talking too much etc politely? It is like he feels lonely in corona times and wants to “onboard” me whenever possible...
Note: jit guy is the guy who pronounces Git as jit from my old rant.8 -
They tell me to only review security in the security reviews I'm doing (and if I bring to attention that they're implementing a weak encryption so even though they're not using it at the moment it might cause issues so be careful with that they say to only review security 😵) and then I see this mssql in a where:
AND ISNULL(field, 0) IS NULL
And I think wtf, should I report that? I did and it's a bug and they're thanking me now....
God dammit it's hard to "review security" here...3 -
For me it has got to be Retroarch/Libretro (or as I've taken to call it etc.).
Retoarch is a frontend for Libretro which is an API that emulator developers can use so that I as the user don't have to worry about configuring each emulator (and some other stuff).
It's a godsend piece of software that makes it possible for someone like me to really just enjoy my (but but expanding) library of old games (that I can only dream of playing on original hardware)
Also, it's multiplatform!
I also tagged it as wk119 since this is my school setup
2 -
Am I the only one who doesn't really see feel or need as an insult? Geek means someone who "messed around" with tech and need is someone who is smart. Why do people get offended by it? I mean, I get that people mean it offensively but is it really something to get that upset about? If someone was to call me a geek or need. Imma walk with my head high and own it.9
-
quote when asking what cleints budget is for a job....
"ah yeh hence the when your ready but it wont be paid at the start but should it pick up the will be some form of payment avalible to you"
needless to say this is the same client who is the original meeting states "wait so why is this costing me loads for a custom website can we not give me the rates for if this is a project im working in the side"
well only if im allowed to treat it as something that wont get done.2 -
LUA... its great! I love it... but WHY THE FUCK DOESNT LUA START COUNTING FROM FUCKING 0!!! WHY THE FUCK DOES IT START FROM 1! I SEARCHED HALF A FUCKING HOUR IN MY CODE AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK! then it hit me... LUA IS THE ONLY FUCKING LANGUAGE THAT STARTS FROM 1 and sure enough... after changes and testing IT FUCKING WORKED!
Fuck4 -
var manual = '.... use chrome...';
User: "Hey this thing is broken, can you fix it?"
Me: "Works just fine for me, what browser are you using?"
User: "Edge, why?"
..... god I hate browsers.... rtfm bitch.. make my life easier please?...
Sometimes I wish I only did back end work...9 -
Client: my email isn't working.
Settings are ok. Me: can you download team viewer for me? I have to look it myself. Client: Yeah I can't since I haven't Internet. Me: *slaps forehead* email is working with internet only. you have to recover your connection.
Never heard of this client since then -
I did it! I've finally figured it out!
I've always had this feeling that AvatarOfKaine reminds me of someone. Todaybit finally hit me - O know who it is!
It's mr. Heckles. Always out of context, talks about hell knows what and every time he says smth the only sensible phrase that wants to come out of your mouth is ".... Anyway...."23 -
I'm actually getting so fucked off with having to travel to work to the point that I an on the brink of rage quitting and only taking something where it is agreed to and understood about me working from home, no questions asked!14
-
Working from home with a cat... hear a strange noise and turn my chair. Cat is now hanging on for dear life and looking at me with utter betrayal.
It seems she only wanted attention... always. Especially when I’m working.1 -
My compiler tells me, "Hey, you have an error at line 389, resolve it!"
Me [In wonder]: What the heck are you talking Mr Compiler, my program is of 32 lines only!!!2 -
Is it just me or does the search find a very limited set of rants for everyone? Maybe it finds only the most recent ones?5
-
Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.
Also Me Sometimes later:
MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.
God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.2 -
The only way for me to learn a new language/framework is by building stuff with it, or heck writing shitty blog posts.
So here's one on Elixir
https://goo.gl/HAzb1e1 -
Is it only me or you also feel a bit more powerful when all your devices are fully charged (nearly) and internet works smooth? 🤔5
-
So subreddits are now app only ? Oh fuck off . Seriously ? Is this the future we are heading towards ? Why use React then if you are not gonna let me use it in the browser.
8 -
I code for 2 1/2 days straight, I'm in the zone, no comments, because I'm not in some comp sci beginners class, finish up, test it the only problem is with... All of it... Just considering writing another program to comb through that one and find the mistakes for me3
-
So i applyed for a remote job recently and they assigned me a project as a test. The only requirement is i have to use sails.js as framework along with angular. I am thinking of quitting before i even started. Two days reading the sails documentation and it sucks big time. I am searching how to use sessions and it explains me what a session is. Fuk dis i am out.3
-
I take a task, break it down in smaller tasks which can be done in one day, more if some problem came. But let's say if it finishes within a day and I have free time, I don't start the next thing instead I feel good that I'm done. Is it only me? 🙄2
-
#Development Story:
No Size for iPad (only mocks are mobile and desktop)
Ambiguous on Close Button (size and position)
#Development:
Me: iPad size, should it be X?
Product Owner: Yes
#QA
QA: Close button is to Small, change to bigger
ME: (ok....)
#Product Owner Review
Product Owner: Close button to big, make it smaller, also iPad size is not that, is Y.
Me:
3 -
Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1 -
Did a webGl. + angular project this weekend that does the same as my thesis project (directx). The only difference is the time it took me only 2 days where the thesis project took 600h. pretty badass in my opinion 😎
-
life as the only dev at work:
boss: so the new system is finished now right?
me: its finished enough for people to log in and test it
boss: so its finished?
me: .... suuure -
The only thing that sometimes bothers me about having IT knowledge (specially now that I'm officially an IT Engineer graduate) is that I still have friends that can't do simple things that they asked me when I was at highschool.
"My computer is not working", " I can't install this game", "My computer doesn't start".
Since I'm okay with helping others, I always try to help. The thing is that everytime I help is always something I google at the moment. And most of times is simple problems that don't even need to be googled2 -
This lead is an asshole, I'm the only who gets shit. Even if other people have the same issue.
To me: "The purpose was to have it done now."
To others: "Well, at least you have it mostly done."7 -
> punch into work
> get comfy on the desk
> push previous commits along with new commit
> GitLab showed only the last commit i.e. today's
> *fml*
> check logs, found nothing
> now, waiting for coffee while figuring out why it is bothering me2 -
Every internship i am doing, i somehow end up being the only person working on the android, with no other person remotely knowing any stuff about it, even though the company's only user related product is an android app.
I want to have some fucking mentor or senior damn it to give me *some* tasks, why are you asking me to make everythin?
Damn , what have i gotten myself into3 -
Does this mean devRant has no icon for Pie apps switcher?
Or is it only happening to me?
// I really miss the old stacked design btw. Not a big fan of Android P.
18 -
Every time I try to use Android Studio in any linux distribution it makes file system read only mode and I have to use fsck command every time. Is there anybody who have the same problem as me 😐😐3
-
"I think.."
It doesn't matter what you think you fucking moron. The bottom line here is that you forgot to add a master table for this and you are asking to create a master table from me when I have no fucking records, YOU THINK you need it today but deep down you too know that is fucking impossible to do.
"Only some code modification"
No shit Sherlock, yes indeed only some code modification is required, and I did, the only problem is that you are not having that required field's data.
fuck you, you fat useless piece of shit
2 -
My school has a completely open SMTP server. A friend today who works for the tech department just showed me how anyone could fake an email. He did this by sending me an email as the president of the school, it looked legit. He told the security dudes but they can't secure it due to legacy systems. This is madness surely!?! Is open SMTP as bad as I think? (It is at least only accessible on the schools network).3
-
!Rant
Guys guys guys!!!!!!! And girls!!!
Not only did I recently obtain 2 certifications the past two or three weeks, but a company called me back to see if I was still interested in an internship that I applied for a month ago!! I sent her an updated resume and she's sending it to the IS (information systems) guy (only one for the branch in my city) and if he likes what he'll see they'll call me back 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄.
I'm so stoked because I started this bullshit job at Dave and Buster's and it's not even really technical. I started like two weeks ago but I don't give a fuck, if I can find a better opportunity elsewhere, I'm taking it. Even if it's an internship.
Only thing is, if they want me to start as soon as possible then I'll want to, but wouldn't it be best to do a two week notice for D&D?2 -
Am I the only person who doesn't listen to music. Everyone I tell is shocked and asks me how I am still alive. It's not that I hate music I am just not listing to it.2
-
Hey guys!
I have a question
When I'm coding sometimes I get sick
I mean this is getting me when I'm worried if the deadline coming day after day, I get nausea a lot
By a lot I mean a lot
I can't even look at my computer screen or even touch the keyboard
Is it only me or it's normal ?!!
I think it's stress13 -
I can recommend a very good series, which is about an AI:
Person of Interest
It catched me so I think I won't be the only one.8 -
Is it just me or is the error handling in Go and/or Rust just.. tideous?
Maybe I'm biased because I grew up on C# and error handling has always been Exceptions and try+catch for me, but I find having to manually check errors everywhere not only annoying to code, but also horrible to look at.
Am I alone on this one?13 -
My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...
He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!
Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans... -
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
-
I wish senior people would just admit if they don't know something or are unsure. I hate spending time implementing a feature and spending more time troubleshooting it only to ask for help and be questioned why I'm "doing it like that" in the first place...
YOU TOLD ME THIS IS HOW IT IS DONE!!!1 -
When my electrician uncle does some work for me for free it feels like he is a good person. When I do work for family for free I feel like an idiot (only since a year or two). Hustle culture can really mess with your values even if you don't notice it.2
-
Me: *What* is the process to do X in this environment? The link is not working. (Link available in only application 1)
Senior colleague: Through which application?
Me: *Mentions the full name of application 1*. Application 2 works as well.
SC: Yeah it can be done by application 2 as well.
Me: *waits*
*Okay, TELL ME FUCKING HOW!!! I asked for the process, not about its possibility.* -
At the top of my current CV (the only one with current contact details on it) is the line "I am only looking for remote working roles" in bold. Why is it that over 90% of recruiters who contact me want to place me in a role where I would have to commute to an office, mostly over an hour's drive each way? Then they wonder how they get a bad reputation? FML!4
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( Temporarily Relevant )
Is it just me or did GitHub just break most of their MathJax?
Were formulas but now I only see my LaTeX code..
https://github.com/OpenlyEducated/... -
Outlook warms me when opening excel attachments that it might contain viruses (PROTECTED VIEW).Ooooh fancy....
Only problem is that it's in Sent Items and if it had a virus I'm already f...ed2 -
Is the search function useless?
I tried it in the official devRant app because I consider adding it to JoyRant.
But it never finds anything relevant for me.
Even if I give it an exact substring of a comment, it doesn’t find it.
It also doesn’t find users (which would be useful)
Does it only work for the text in a rant?
Do you find it useful?6 -
Is it only me who mostly failed on technical interview. Because most of the time from my previous employer they always try to keep me stay whenever i submit resignation letter and they said that I one of the good performer...1
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Is it just me or does the youtube frontpage take like ~12 seconds to load until you can click and interact with it recently?
I have the same happening on my laptop if I login to youtube (with literally only ublock installed on it and not logged into chrome, so it won't just sync random plugins or something from my PC).4 -
Is there any package to install with apt to detect if the Server has no Internet connection and output maybe a netstat to a file if so?
My problem is: I have a Server and since today it randomly has no Internet for hours. I don't know if it's a DDoS or something different and I want to find out. I also can only SSH into it so it needs Internet to let me do anything.
(It's just a fun project so there is really only me who could do something)6 -
So i kind of fucked up...
I am currently living out of town and only have my laptop and rpi with me. Wanting to try something new, i decided to challenge myself to only use linux until i get back home, but i also wanted a new distro. (Oh and btw my only internet connection is provided by my phone and tablet, which is used as a hotspot, and because i already used all of my monthly data on the tablet now i only have my phone and an unlimited 128kbps connection which turns into a decent connection only after 11pm)
I downloaded the distro image last night and was planning to install it today, so i shutdown the laptop immediately after the download finished). If only i remembered that i had already wiped the old linux partition containing GRUB.
So now i need to wait until 11 pm so i can download another image on my rpi and flash it to my usb drive. Fuck me...
I guess i'll relax until then.1 -
So. My new machine at work has decided that running visual studio is too hard and our build script has decided that building vcxproj files is too hard. And our one sysadmin for our team of 100+ is the only one allowed to fix it.
Luckily I have an old box that *only* takes 45 minutes to run our build, a hangover, apparently I am going through early manopause because it is hot as fuck in this office, and today is the day that everyone wants to loudly ask every question ever.
I guess what I am saying is I blame everyone else for my bad decisions and project them into my you-me instead of focusing on my me-me. Also I really don't want to talk to the S.A. He is difficult. -
bad APIs lead me to leaving comments like this
```
// we do not know how many pages their may be.
// im thinking of space invaders here, reverse direction and increase speed!
// only we are just adding one and creating an infinite loop that is only infinite until it isn't```1 -
Sent products a list of everything wrong with their requirements and why it would take an army to build (there are only 2 of us backend ninjas). Suddenly its crickets. No-one is replying me now. Suckers..
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Why can't developers get dark themes right, or at least let me stylize it the way I want it? If you are only changing the background, black is *never* a good choice because it contrasts too much with the other default (and still bright) colors. Dark gray works much better.2
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Setting up eslint is driving me nuts.
This shit never works for me.
Every two months:
I read why eslint is important to have in development workflow. I get convinced of it's benefit. I decide to give it few hours to do this correctly this time.
3-4 hours passby, still nothing. I run into problems that only I face. My vscode setup is a complete mess now. My code formatter wants one way if writing code which eslint doesn't like for some reason.
Fuck this shit.
Am I the only one?3 -
I'm worried that this question will probably get downvoted on SO and I cannot post from my account as well, so here it is..
How to play youtube embedded video in mobile over a custom button / svg / image ?
One idea I'm currently working on is to trigger &autoplay=1 onclick but it is only appending that parameter to existing URL?
Please let me know if you have any thoughts, and I'm doing this for only mobile devices only
P.S I cannot use YouTube API11 -
What fresh hell is this ??????
I lost my earbuds TWICE within 2 weeks !!!!
I swear I had em last night when I put em in pouch , and now I see only 1 earbud.
|-_-|-_-| FUCK MY LIFE |-_-|-_-|
Rent me an earbud or kill me, PLEASE
It saddens me to think I'll not fulfill my endorphins quota today :(
The only enjoyment I have in my life is gymming to heavy bass, the endorphins keep me alive, everything else in life is shit right now : unhappy job, stress from GRE prep, no gf, staying away from family1 -
I lost my cool and got into a trembling furious mode yesterday. The outcome is an ugly pile of mess. After calming myself down and reflecting, this is what I end up telling myself this morning.
I let myself touched shit. When someone was throwing shit at me, I went and touch it and throw it back instead of avoiding it. I created a shit storm instead of a cleansing rain. And now not only me, everyone around me has to breath in shit air.2 -
Is booting linux from a drive a good way to start with linux if I'm not too sure I should make it my main os? The only thing keeping me back at this point is gaming since it's my gaming rig but idk I have 2 distros I want to use/decide between that I've loved on vms in the past but it's just me actually going through with doing it22
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So far in 2020 the only work I’ve done is front end and even though I’ve improved (a little) It makes me sick. But today I actually get started working on backend in ASP.NET Core for the first time. I am excited.2
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Today is a sad day. I wanted to do some experimenting with the Google Cloud Vision API, but apparently EU users can use it only as Business user (which sadly I'm not). Why Google, why are you betraying me? 😭2
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Is there any point in having a compositor enabled? I only see advantages in disabling any compositor. Google only tells me that it can prevent misbehaving applications' UIs from being garbled, but that hasn't happened to me either.9
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Past me is such a dick:
"Note to future self: this is a dirty hack taken straight from the ONLY StackedOverflow result. Didn't understand it then... "2 -
JUST HAPPEND
tariner and coworker: when getting a dto lets make sure to get the object by a query before the function then pass only the object found
<couple of lines later>
see her the thing again....
me: this function you did it.
tariner and coworker: um.....mmmmm.
yeah this thing is wrong you should never do this...
(as if he made a mistake and covering it by telling me not to do it) -
What is the point of archiving posts on Reddit? I often find a post describing a problem which happens for me, but the problem was reported about 1 year ago and the post got archived, so I have no way to complain about it because archived post is read-only. So sad6
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I don't know why but I think that I'm the only one that doesn't like material design. I get the concept and can see why Google came up with the whole material design thing, but it doesn't move me, no matter how clever it is.
Am I right? Do you hate material design too? Although hate is a strong word, so should I ask are you ambivalent to it too?3 -
!rant
Wow it saddens me to see so many people needed help and how long they being fasting?
Fortunately my team is reaching up to help .
Btw my platform https://bit.ly/3dWpOKe (only for malaysia ATM)7 -
Had to reboot to windows for a small task
The task was done in 3 minutes
Now i have to reboot back to continiue working because time is tight
*windows update*
I was angry and hoped it would be over as soon as possible
It is already updating for more than an hour and a half(it is not stuck)
and its only 32% done
*me crying in the corner*1 -
How do you know that you are stuck in a job without longterm perspective (besides some undefined gut feeling)?
And what to do then? It seems to me, only possible action is to change job. Is there any, less extreme, alternative? -
I'm sure it already happened to you :
- Me : I don't know if it's a good idea to make this feature, it will take me hours and may impacts the stability of the app. We are only at one week of the release...
- PM : But the users really need this.
- Me : hum ok...
*Five minutes later, find out it takes only two lines of code to do it*
Me : I did my best and the feature is ready !
*Fortunately no one will check the svn logs :D*2 -
So I recently installed Arch Linux... I don't get it. I got one little error... easy "fix" though :/ The minimum is up in less than half an hour... then maybe installing a desktop environment (I like MATE)... and... that's it.
What's the big thing I missed?
Is it only because "da user has da force" and "da user is da control master"?
Is it only that the user (in this case me, myself and I) is responsible for every fckin package, update whatever?
I'm sorry for my stupidity but... I'm not sorry for my intelligence 🧠 🤪
It didn't feel special in any way :(
but was a bit interesting 🤔7 -
Shout out to rubber dusk. Rubber duck was a word while playing pictionary today. And I was the only one who got it right.
And people asked me how I knew that. And I said she is my best friend. -
I just recently stumbled over qutebrowser, a keyboard-centered FOSS-browser. It can be used with vim-commands exclusively, so no mouse needed. The only downside is that it doesn't seem to support plugins. Perfect for people like me who keep losing their cursor 😅2
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Have you ever find yourself talking cursing singing to your computer?
I'm for this example find myself commanding the computer to build 😆.
Got the grip an the power cord saying I'm your boss!!!
Also sang the song "You Are my only exception".
What do you say ? Or cursing?
Or is it only me 🧐?4 -
Fuck Jira. That motherfucker sucks up almost 500mb of my ram and I need that shit since I'm running vscode and 5 other tabs minimum. And I only have 8gb how low it is right (!). Even my PC is idle whenever I open jira it starts to hangs so badly WTF YOU CODDED THERE ASHOLES CHECK YOUR CODE. I needed to get this off me I'm still mad that there is no console jira with only text
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What the crap? Get this, I'm setting the timezone to UTC in PHP. All find and dandy, only that it gives me the wrong FUCKING date and time, like what is wrong with you xD I changed nothing since yesterday and yesterday it gave me the correct time xD2
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Is is only me that thinks the position of *favorite* button on rants isn't user friendly? I find myself looking for it at the top most times or long pressing rants to favorites. 😥3
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The only reason the barbaric, Apache server requiring, disgusting non-intuitive syntax having, pain in the dick to set up language known as "php" is even still around AT ALL is because of laravel...just let it die already...
P.s. - work is making me learn laravel/php15 -
!dev
I was really interested in politics, like always knowing what a politician is doing or saying, watching live streaming of the European Parliament and things like that. But know I'm tired of politics, I'm from Italy and our politicians are shit, like for real. The only one that can beat them is Trump, anyway the real problem is that thanks to them now we have only two sides, you are with me or you are against me, no space for discussions, everyone belives to be right and that the others are wrong. Idk, I'm just sick to live in a country where everything is a mess, that's it.5 -
all this fucking cloud sync bullshit on mac, iOS, and windows is driving me nuts... would all be fine if it only would work as expected -.-1
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Got an email regarding the recruitment process in an MNC. They had asked me to select location and stream for my job. Every stream they had sent was only testing and its types. I didn't go ahead with it because I didn't want to do only testing. I wanted to build applications as well. Told my parents and they flipped out on me telling me I'm going to suffer cuz of this and that something is better than nothing.1
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It should be illegal to have a 12 year old documentation for an c++ API... even though it's my fault I suck at c++ ...
Bluesoleil , the only Bluetooth you are giving me is a rather unpleasant story.. -
I haven't received my hacktoberfest tee yet... Does anyone else haven't got it or is it just only me?3
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There is fun in using Google Colab.
They unveiled free TPUs on Colab.
It took me an hour of really slow training to realise that even if TPU is enabled, you have to code it explicitly to enable it.
After an hour I realised I was using only the CPU 😂😂
**crickets in the background** -
Someone is toying with me.. I keep seeing a green notification on the top right, only for it to disappear moments later..
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Is it just me, that when tapping a rant on mobile the UI marks multiple list items as "selected", although only the one a actually tapped is opened?
It happens within the time I've written this, independently of app restart and it randomly highlights multiple rants below the selected rant, like a connected group of rants.
Anyone an idea?2 -
Some of my previous rants mention a web application that I wrote for my then-employer. As it is still in use and I have the whole code, too, I figured to check on security a little with a friend. It's all fine, except for one page, were I was sloppy and didn't escape strings, thus allowing for SQL injection.
This is however only possible if already logged in, which has shown to be secure (and the tool is for employees only).
Nobody is ever going to find out, as the only one who knew what injection even is was me. I left 2 years ago. -
you're not going to believe me, but it seems like I have the recipe to achieve the feeling of absolute freedom.
People have the distinct mechanism of "believing" in somebody or something. You should only _believe_ in things you _made_.
As nothing is truly created from scratch, only believe in the part _you_ created.
I know, this recipe is not some "lifehack" or a shortcut, because achieving this mindset is astonishingly difficult, but it's at least possible.3 -
Every time i try to learn a new skill it always ends up in leaving the course in between. Does this only happens to Me? Or there is anyone else?3
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Little question: is it just me that does not get the notification when browsing with the browser? If I go here (https://www.devrant.io/feed/recent) I see no notifications in the top left icon (the one that opens the menu) but if I go on the app, BAM! new notifications waiting.
This has been happening only recently, is it just me?7 -
Co-worker: I started having this issue like two weeks ago.
Me: Two weeks ago? Why are you only telling me now?
Co-worker: I dunno. I just stopped using <program> and worked around it.
Me: Thanks for the notice, man. That helped me tremendously /s -_-
FUCKING PUT IN A TICKRT OR TELL ME THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. -
Junon's Zen of Tabs:
Tabs for lexical indentation, spaces for alignment.
Tabs always come first, and never after a non-tab character.
This is the only way it should be.
I do not have an open mind about this. Fight me IRL.13 -
I am anxious about the phones audio not playing through the headphones, but through to the speaker, when connecting in public. Even when the Bluetooth icon shows connected.
I have to remove the headphones and check, every time.
It is only me ?6 -
GLFW is the cleanest, well documented, most convinient API for creating and handling windows in Linux and Windows I've ever used.
The only thing that bugs me is that valgrind detects memory leaks on it.4 -
Client's IT department is fine about giving me a laptop for exclusive access to their VPN, security reasons, etc. Ok, fine I get it.
But they do not want to give me a Linux machine - only Windows!
How am I supposed to get shit done.11 -
What is the reason behind Git Access Tokens being viewable only once after generation on platforms like GitHub? I'm struggling to comprehend this approach as it compels me to store the key in an insecure manner.3
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My family members are support me, they know I'm unsaveable about this. Only my wife sais when I'm learning (I am before career change), you should stop playing and take care something useful instead. Or when I say I have to work on something, her answer is like, It's not work if you enjoy it and don't get money for it, it is only a hobby.
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It seems dat the only growing career profile in bigdata domain is of BIGDATA trainer.
P.S. I don't need ny training. So stop mailing me. -
Is it only me who sent an email & awaiting stickers!! @devRant, if my stickers are not ready can you send me a better smiley? I don't want to look at this sad smiley on ma laptop ;)
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I need to code up a basic API/JSON consumption script and I literally just can’t bring myself to do it because I’m afraid to fail at doing it right. What is WRONG with me?! Am I the only person who goes through this kind of self-sabotage?4
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Travis CI is so expensive for smaller developers.
I started using it when it was free for open source projects, but now they changed it, and the lowest tier ever is $69.
Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing service, which works exactly as described, but I only need to make like 5 builds a month, but the lowest tier gives me so much more allowance.
I wish they had a cheaper tier for less money. Now I gotta swap service and reconfigure a couple of projects.2 -
I built a css reset named reseter.css a month ago. It is used by more than 6k people but I got only 229 stars yet. Can Anyone suggest me what to do?
Repo: krishdevdb/reseter.css17 -
Am I doing something wrong or am I the only one not able to install anything on Pop! OS?
Googling doesn't find me this issue what so ever.
It always tells me about some dependencies and that it won't install them.
And then i have to do --reinstall, which either does it's job or tells me shit can't be downloaded.
Wtf is this shit? I love pop os but for gods sake let me install libsdl or wine or anything else!5 -
Am I the only who's having trouble with the devRant app. Before anyone says to me to send an email about the bugs I've been having, I already did.
I don't know why but sense the last update I'm just finding bug after bug. Is anyone having problem with the app or is it just me?4 -
Well, it has been 4 months since I sent the mail for the stickers and the ball, and still haven't gotten them.
They probably got lost mid way 😔
And the only thing i can wonder is that there is a delivery guy somewhere, letting loose all of his anger on the ball which was meant for me... 🙈
Keeps me awake at nights😑🙊3 -
Is it only me that thinks inertia js with Laravel just seems bloated and not necessary? Am I missing some thin Laravel and Vue seems more simple than Laravel, Vue, and inertiaJS.2
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Everyone have their favourite IDE, but to me Plunker😊 has been a great one it has hell of capabilities and don't forget about the themes it has.. *dark mode* 👌
Every damn time I wanna make sample code ..voila plunker it is ! Best for Mean stack development 👈
Am I the only one who loves it ??1 -
[Tied to my latest rant]
My parents asking me to help them with their computers is the same thing as if I asked my mom to tour me on a country she doesn't know anything about or if I asked my dad to teach me how to pilot a plane (my mom is a tour guide and my dad a driving instructor. I believe the only thing he can't teach is actually how to pilot a plane :b): sometimes it takes too much time and effort and you can't do it. -
As it seems to me like only a few people seem to learn something about TDD, and XP is reduced to pair programming: who has learned more about these topics?4
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So... Here it is
I am working in a web application thay only works on IE (I know, it is not my fault), and I asked the programmers that started this project, if we can start using it in another browsers but they told me that it is not possible because 'some javascript may not work in other browsers'.
Is this really possible or they just don't want to code for compatibility with other browsers?3 -
I find playing online games very interesting. It can support me to feel relaxed everyday after a tiring time of learning at school. I usually like to play online chess. It is exciting and challenging. It also helps me to make friends online. It helps me to think over everything before acting. However, I always limit my time playing online games. Because I think playing too many online games makes me tired. My eyes are often soring. My mother always reminds me to study hard, so I know what is most important to me. Playing online games only helps me to relax a little. So I advise you to work hard at school, and just spend a little time playing online games, no matter how much you like it.
4 -
My company levels seem a little weird. Is it only me that think they seem a little weird? Associate Software Engineer -> Staff Software Engineer-> software Engineer -> Senior Engineer -> Lead Software Engineer.1
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Since the new update I have many issues with loading oft rants.
When I click on a rant, the devRant Logo Smiley Shows up for several seconds, than it Just disappears. And then nothing Happens.
Have to Go Back again, and Back again and sometimes also Close the App before the rant is loading again.
Is it only me?
7 -
Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.
For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.
here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.
Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.1 -
Working on a project that requires two computers is complex for me currently. I need to wait for the only other windows computer to become available in the house.
Although in the mean time I’m just taking the time to learn WinForms since someone lent me a book for it. I know WPF is better but I’m not interested in learning it at the moment. WinForms will do all I need it to.8 -
Help me decide to choose between nestjs and Adonis js framework for node? I know laravel and angular so it makes hard for me to choose between the two.
Nestjs is angular inspired while Adonis js is laravel inspired. I only have experience with express framework. Thanks!2 -
!rant
Hey guys I've got little question, sometimes it is more convenient to me to get the adb Debug informations in a terminal instead of Android Studio, is there any way ONLY show Logs from a certain level? Even after reading the docs I couldn't figure it out 😥😥😥 -
Nothing is as fucked up as it seems, you have this, you'll figure it out, if you can't fix it, scrap it, don't stress yourself out, it's not worth it etc.
Current boss is the best.. Helped me a bunch, not only with how to tackle coding but life in general. -
If anyone has followed the Android course by google, is it only me or “lesson 7: recycler view”
Is broken at? Every single time I try and compile I have to fix something cause the guy either adds something without telling or just straight says something and does something else...
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