In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Most hilarious bug I found in Windows 10. 😂😂😂

*Looking at other student’s code*
Me: Why do you have a line that only says “var != var2”? That doesn’t do anything.
Them: That tells the computer to set var to anything except var2, right?
Me:

When you accidently change (refactor) the variable name and you have no idea which var is which:

Make let not var.

Var gf = [];

Is it just me or am I the only one who gets pissed if someone checks the expected result of a variable first?

For example:
if(true === $var)

Instead of:
if($var === true)

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it doesn’t work.

JS Developer :
var x = 2
x = "hello"

Java developer:
what the hell !!

Someone is wondering how to get this piece of code working as expected on StackOverflow:

for (var i = 1; i <= 2; i++) { setTimeout(function() { alert(i) }, 100); }

Found this gem in answers. :D

!rant

Does anyone of you know LOLCODE?
If not let me present you a simple program that displays the numbers 1-11 and terminates:

HAI 1.2
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

You gotta love the okay thanks bye as termination :D
Check it out on GitHub

How Microsoft devs think about Linux 😁.

This was found inside the index.html of Visual Studio Code editor.

for(var i = 0; list.length; i++) {}

*Shit what's wrong*

How I losed 30 min yersterday.

Theres only 2 kinds of people in this world:

1. var username;
2. var user_name;

Hint: one of them will burn in hell

Me everytime🙄

var day = (new Date()).getDate()

Student: "We're programmers. We can't get a date" 🤣

Once had a guy who wrapped all his code in:

for(var i = 0; i < 1; i++){ }

Still wakes me up at night..

Code works.

Rename a variable for clarity.
Third-party lib behaves differently, breaks things.

Change the var names back.
Still broken.

Stash changes and checkout previous commit.
Everything works.

Diff with stash.
No notable changes. (some comments, ...)

Checkout branch again, pop stash.
Broken again.

... What?

So... I learnt a couple things today about C++ language which I didn’t know before...

1. float var = 5.9;
std::cout << ( var == 5.9 );

// shows 0 (false) coz of float and double thing... apparently, 5.9 isn’t automatically converted to float when compared to one 🤔

2. arr[ i ] == i[ arr ]

Well... I guess I now like my college 1% more from the previous % whatever that was 😊☺️

i am declaring a war
var war;

My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than

List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>

and

var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value

?

But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha

When /admin is protected by nothing more then:

var admin = false;
If(!admin){
setTimeout( function(){
window.location.href = "/home"
}, 1000);
}

My favourite to ever stumble on and dred going through hundreds of files to actually fix😣

So apparently due to an extremely talkative x input driver and an error in a certain app, I've been running an emergent keylogger on my computer for half a year. On every keypress event, the driver would call the app, the app would segfault, the driver would log the incident including the event to /var/log and then crash, and the app would restart the worker. I noticed this when I started wondering why /var/log is over 100GB in size.

var fUCKEDuPcAMELcASE

Was going to install python 3.5. Typed "apt-get install python 3.5" instead of "apt-get install python3.5".
Parsed 3.5 as regex, now it's installing 500mb of shit :/

My coworker when he is copy pasting code without thinking..
Something like that:

var x;
if (veryExpensiveFunction()) {
x = veryExpensiveFunction();
// do something messy with x..
}

Sometimes I really feel the urge to punch him in the neck - and he never knows why I’m freaking out.. :’(

var stickersHere = true;
if (stickersHere) { console.log('Yay!!'); }

When i was 15 i wanted to try myself at coding and hacking.

Yeah a bit ignorant i know.

Anyhow，i randomly found a python tutorial i believe.

Got things running and started the first tasks.

Create a var， associate a string. Create a second var and associate a new string.

Concat them and you get a new string with both of em together.

Then i told myself that this was fucking shit and i quit.

15 years later，i regret more and more that i let it go but what a fucking dumb tutorial that was...

17 years of coding and i would have been a fucking beast.

Opening somebody else's code(11000+ lines in 2 js files) only to find a 100+ "var a" declarations and naming conventions like var chart1, var chart2. Best part? Not a single comment. Even better? The one who wrote the code doesn't remember what does what.

Just saw this in the code I'm reviewing:

function encryptOTP(otp){
var enc = MD5(otp);
return enc;
}

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING READ THE CHANGES IN YOUR FUCKING PULL REQUEST???

If you did, you would realize that 50% of the stuff is total fucking nonsense. I don't want to see that you changed "var a = 0" to "var a= 0" just because you can't type with your shitty fingers.

Also, if you did read the changes in your PR, you would have realized that you added a bunch of totally unrelated changes in totally unrelated files.

Fuck! Am I the only one who always tries to produce a clean changeset?? Damn

Talked to long time friend a while back.
I think he freelances now and does some kind of web design stuff.

He said, he hates java, and I asked what he hates about it:

" Those stupid variable types, I only use VAR in PHP to get around that stupid stuff. And what is this Oop anyway?".

😵 Dude? The fuck?

My typical development workflow:

$ ssh user@devserver
$ cd /appdir
$ git clone/pull
$ vim file
$ vim another file
$ tail -f /var/log/applog
$ vim file
$ git commit -am 'fixed the glitch'
$ git push origin dev
^D

Love reading through old code and seeing things like this

var hasFailed = (errors.length > 0)?true:false;

Makes you wonder what their thought process was when writing it :D

I just found this in some code I'm now supporting

for (var i = 0; i<1; i++) {
...
}

How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:

Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;

Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;

His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"

Fond this gem in teams code;
Var temp = "",
Var tmp = "",
Var tmp2 = "",
Var tmpIDK = "";
Asked the creator only 4 hours after the commit what his code does. The answer; I have no idea, but it works, don't touch it.

var { name: x } = person
Day 1 : that's some good ES6 code man, I'm so 2017
Day 5 : Oh yeah I think it works, dont really remember
Day 17 : WTF is that ? Is that even Javascript ?

var print = console.log;

My favorite line when I'm working with node.

Declare var. Not war.
Execute programs. Not people.

That moment when you write 'bar' instead of 'var' in your JS file.

If you think good design is expensive, you should look at the cost of bad design - Ralf Speth

Javascript being Javascript...

var date = new Date()
Mon Aug 13 2018 09:17:28 GMT+0200 (Mitteleuropäische Sommerzeit)

date.getDay()
1

date.getDate()
13

date.getFullYear()
2018

date.getYear()
118

Visual Studio : the var "listlines" is only assigned but its value is never used

Me : I'm using it on the next line, you piece of sh--

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

WHY AM I SO FUCKING AWKWARD OH MY LORD! LITERALLY ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WATCH A SCHOOL PLAY AND THEN GET A PICTURE WITH A CAST MEMBER AND IT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEELINGS I'VE HAD IN THE PAST WEEK! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS! I'M TIRED OF BEING SO AWKWARD AND ANXIOUS! I DON'T GET HOW PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE. THIS HAS LITERALLY RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE AND I'M SO TIRED OF IT. I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE ME BUT I JUST CAN'T GET MYSELF TO TALK TO ANYONE! THE SIMPLEST THINGS TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME AND I'M SICK OF IT! I'M JUST TIRED OF IT! I'm just, tired.

var redundant_function = function () {
console.log('happy birthday to me') ;
}

Slange var my dudes.

Any favorite liquors/sanity juice to reccommend for a noob dev?

Software development lessons are so boring and the teacher is so stupid. He can't swap two variables without a temporary var. He said that he never saw this kind of swaping before. I pay attention sometimes, but I'm just drawing in my exercise book.

Var var var...

var date = new Date();
var month = date.getMonth();
console.log(month); // 2

who thought it would be a good idea to start the months of at 0 rather then 1

var 574h4jf4j4jfjj4j = "";

That should be enough characters...

var str = "The Hardest Button to Button";
   var res = str.substring(0, 16);

Huh. ES6's variable destructuting on objects is actually pretty cool.

var {foo, bar, baz} = obj

Is functionally equivalent to this:
var foo = obj.foo
var bar = obj.bar
var baz = obj.baz

I like it! Makes things simpler.

var m = Me()
var f = Friend()

f.speak("I just wiped my whole disk drive with everything on it and I just realized how much I didn't care about all those movies I didn't watch or the TV shows that I'm keeping on the side...... It's like a clean new PC and I feel so free")

m.speak("Stop with the spiritual bullshit. You were installing Windows and it was a mistake right?")

f.cryAndNod()

m.sigh()

So I was coding a project that was left for me because the initial developer was fired (I didn't know why). When I was reading his code:

var saturday_sunday = week.day - 1;

Now I understand why he was fired.

The new holy war in C#:

Point p = new Point(5, 3);

vs.
var p = new Point(5, 3);

vs. (new)
Point p = new (5, 3);

and... FIGHT!!

So if you guys had a variable with an "ID" in it, would you write it like this:

"var userId;"

or like this:

"var userID;"

?
Just curious.

Never worked before so I'll talk about one of the former staff at my school.

This guy worked as IT and did some teaching in the high school. Early last year, he suddenly disappears for no reason.

Now, I'm going to go in order of what we (the students) found out, not, chronological order.

Firstly, turns out that in class he would make comments about female students. Nothing explicit, just kinda strange. I forget the examples I heard but think like the overly friendly old guy. Those types of comments from a 40-something IT guy. (Some female students knew about this for a long while but I only heard about it after the investigation)

Next, rumor got out that they found some stuff on his computer. I don't know how, but it turned out to be accurate, and we were accurate at the follow-up assumption that it was porn.

After that, the school made an announcement that we had been arrested. Up until then, we just assumed he had been sacked. He was weird sure, but we didn't think criminal.

Some other students looked into the police records, and it turns out this guy had been arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.

Pretty sick right? Its worth pointing out now that our school has Pre-K through 12th grade students.

I gained a new level of respect for my female classmates after that. I didn't even know that was going on, really wish I could have helped out.

"No you can't use Java 11's `var` because other developers will [be boomers about it and unable to check types by hovering over variables for half a second]" - my team, basically

Hey... to somebody reading this, most likely.

The problem, is that you put if($var = 'something')
You need ==, not =.
Php doesn't tell you that though. It'll just change the var to 'something'

That's why you're getting that really obscure, doesn't make any sense error.

You're welcome.

var i = 0;
setInterval(function(){
document.getElementById("el").style.width = i + "px";
i+=10;
},100);
And, children, this is how we were used to create animations years ago

Cleaning up code...

var screenshotPanel = $(this).parent().parent().parent().parent().next().next();

Kill me now.

var self = this;

Turned on this old phone after 4 years, devrant was the only app still working without needing to update and logged in 👌
"I have a date! 😍
var date = DateTime.Now;"
Was still stuck in concepts waiting to be posted on here 🤣

Few days ago I wrote function that finds occurrence of value in array:

function findOccurrence(value, array) {
for (var i = 0; i < array.length; i++) {
if (value === array[I]) return true;
}
return false;
}

But there's already [].includes() function in JavaScript.

[CMS Of Doom™]
Imagine bringing every HTTP Query Param and every god damn fucking POST var into to current code context.
"extract()" is one of the reasons why I have terminal PHPTSD.

var newBlack = "orange";

The next season feels like forever from now.

var wed_anniversary_5 = Date.now()

Var X1 = "" ;
Var X2 = "" ;
Var A = "" ;
Var A2 = 1;

...why. Just why ever name variables like that.

Debugging yor server code for over an hour only to find out that you were using "var/.." instead of "/var/.." 😐😐

Finally got this to work! So proud of this!

Writing 'echo var' instead of 'echo $var' in a shell has the result of the system successfully dad joking you

Java: String foo =“bar”;
C#: var foo = “bar”;
Go: var foo string = “bar”

I just started learning Go and I’ve been cringing since.

"shall I remove the folder /var/www/?"

var a = {
value: -1,
toString: function() {
return ++this.value;
}
}

if(a & !a) {
console.log("F**k you JS!");
}

if(a == 2 && a == 3) {
console.log("F**k you again JS!");
}

So apparently I can't test my apps on my own device without paying my Apple Developer Certificate.

I knew it is needed to pay for it if you want to publish/distribute your app but c'mon... This is ridiculous.

My app was literally a fresh app creation, a fucking white screen one page fucking app and when I tried to run in on my iPhone, then I ended up having this problem:

dyld: Library not loaded: @rpath/libswiftCore.dylib
Referenced from: /var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/HWorld
Reason: no suitable image found. Did find:
/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib: code signing blocked mmap() of '/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib'
(lldb)

If any of you guys know how to solve it without paying (even more) PLEASE let me know

THANKS

did you know, that in PHP, you can do:
if ( ! function_exists('function_name'))
{
function function_name()
{
//code of the function
}
}

which apparently means you can do
if($var == 'something'){
function functionName(){
//some code
}
} else if($var == 'something else'){
function functionName(){
//some completely different code
}
}

so now, apparently:
1. before this code executes, the function doesn't exist at all (okay, i can live with that)

2. after this code executes, any call to that function can result in any of those two completely different bodies of the same-name function executing, depending on what the $var was set at that time?

...so... now not only the same call to the same(name) function can do two completely different things, *but if you change the value of $var afterwards, you can't even properly find out which version of that function is in effect for the remainder of the run of the script*...?????

WHAT.
THE.
...i mean... I can't help but think that the idea of conditional function declaration like this is... kind of cool (have I been warped by JavaScript too much?), but at the same time... WHAT THE FUCK.

var posts = 0;
Console.log("Hello devRant");
posts++;

R isn't my favorite language, but it drives me crazy that I cant do var++

Life's sometimes just amazing.. like those moments when you do "rm -rf /var" instead of "rm -rf var" and your whole system gets full of errors / unexpected behavior and random crashes.. Since I have project deadline tomorrow, really dunno should I cry or laugh right now

var does not mean dynamic

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

No arguments.. just me bitching over

var name_variable_int;
var someOtherNeme;
var ThisIsAlsoInSameFile;

that some guy thought would be nice to have in same file..
Just pick one, even if it's incorrect for the language, ffs!!

Me: *Writes a nice little AWS Lambda service using Java 12*

Reviewing Dev: Lambda only supports JDK 8

Me: *Dies inside and cries as I replace every occurence of var*

Do you guys drop the S from your variable names? I am constantly in a dilemma as to what makes more sense.

For example a SQL Table:

Books
----------
BookID
BookName
....
---------

OR

Book
---------
BookID
BookName
.....
---------

Or even in a language like C# or JavaScript:

const BOOKS
var books
let books

or

const BOOK
var book
let book

Even if you have multiple items in that variable/table it seems very redundant to ever have the s.

What do you guys think? Any input appreciated!

Happy coding!

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

spent half an hour debugging an if statement that won't return anything but false. Apparently, the condition was:
if (check === true). and the check var was a string! so yeah, spent half an hour to realise I was checking if 'true' is true..

in personal projects, it is really easy to tell when I'm horny. you will find variable names like
- hotVar
- sluttyVar
- FUCK_ME_VAR

15 minutes after that commit naming becomes
- var

Behold the monstrosity regex my transpiler produces!

/val|var|[1-9]{1,32}|\+|\-|\*|s\/s|>>|=|;|(["'])(?:(?=(\\?))\2.)*?\1|print\(|log\(|sqrt\(|input\(|strToArray\(|httpGet\(|if\(|else|{|}|s==s|s>=s|s<=s|s>s|s<s|s&&s|\|\||!|;|\(|\)|\[|\]| |\w+/gi

I hate myself so much right now. I just spent an hour finding the bug in the following:

var counter=0
while(1){
if(counter%2==0){
doStuff()
counter++
}
}

Because I thought it was a bug in doStuff().

Containerize everything
My containers are too big, let's just remove some useless binaries...
Later
~ $ less /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: less: not found
~ $ cat /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: cat: not found
~ $ ls /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: ls: not found
~ $ su
/bin/sh: su: not found
~ $ exit
/bin/sh: exit: not found

When I write “grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(max(15rem, (100% - (var(--columns) - 1) * 1rem) / var(--columns)), 1fr));” in my coworker’s code and it fixes the CSS grid

From A month of Python to start a month of JavaScript, my automated code review yells at me for missing "var" and ";"...

Global scope should not be the default and semicolons should be disallowed.

function x () {
for (var i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
try {
return i;
} finally {
if (i != 3) continue;
}
}
}
console.log( x() ); // ?

Reading code from a trainee:
$var = $var;
Yep, true...

For when I need to make a website awesome:

javascript:var a='hotPink',b='pink',h=document,i=h.body,c=function(d,e){f=h.getElementsByTagName('*');for(g in f){f[g].style.background=d;f[g].style.color=e;}};i.innerHTML='<marquee behavior="scroll" direction="left" scrollamount="30">'+i.innerHTML+'</marquee>';(function(){function htmlreplace(a,b,element){if(!element)element=document.body;var nodes=element.childNodes;for(var n=0;n<nodes.length;n++){if(nodes[n].nodeType==Node.TEXT_NODE){var r=new RegExp(a,'g');nodes[n].textContent=nodes[n].textContent.replace(r,b);}else{htmlreplace(a,b,nodes[n]);}}}htmlreplace("a|e|i|o|u",'o');htmlreplace("A|E|I|O|U",'O');})();c(a,b);

I saw the news mass shooting news today :(

My deep condolence :(

I am fuckin angry though..

var fuckYouTerrorists = allTerrorists.length;

for (var i =0; i < fuckYouTerrorists; i++) {
burnInFuckinHellMotherfuckinShitCuntBastard(fuckYouTerrorists[i]);

}

Thanks devRant...

Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!

Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\

Fuck you Edge!
I can name a var "screen", what is wrong with you? I don't care you have an Object named Screen, they are not the same and I rather use my own, thank you. It's not like I'm "let var=" on you, you piece of shit!

You know that feel as a developer when you add a feature to someone's existing project and you see a shitty code. well this has to be one of the shittiest code I have seen.

select_patient:function(patient)
{
console.log(patient)
this.select_patient_index = 0;
var pending = patient.Pending;
var USER_ID_Patient = patient.ID;
var prescription_ID = patient.Prescription_ID;
if(prescription_ID == null) prescription_ID = 0;
patient.Pending = pending = parseInt(pending);
patient.Prescription_ID = prescription_ID = parseInt(prescription_ID);
patient.USER_ID_Patient = USER_ID_Patient = parseInt(USER_ID_Patient);

if(pending > 0 && prescription_ID > 0)
{
this.select_patient_index = this.list.indexOf(patient);
$('#patientContinueModal').modal('show');
return false;
}

$scope.prescription.set(patient,null);
return false;
}

Also the guy has a space in his url.
xxxxxx.com/shopping cart !

My first instinct is to poke my eyes, find the developer (if we can call him that and shove it up his ______)

I have 2 log files in /var/log

kern.log 16.1GB
syslog 4.1 GB

BECAUSE I HAVE UBUNTU AND IT KEEPS THROWING PCIe errors on booting

So... I finally decided to secure my VPS, so I started with sudo less /var/log/auth.log ...
Short story, not even gonna read every line, just gonna reset my VPS lol

var

Co-Worker: How can I see what's linked to x variable in the database for this website? [we can't see the actual back end]
Me: Do a var dump...
Co-Worker: but what var do I dump?

Friend’s code:

var monkey=77;
Go(monkey);

The worst thing in the world is reading someone’s uncommented code ...

var pen;
var apple;
var pineapple;

Do I need to even finish the joke?

I HAS A VAR ITZ 12 BTW VAR = 12

var req = new UltimateCodingRequirements();
req.add('coffee');
req.add('music');
req.add('headsets');
var zone = new UltimateCodingZone();
zone.execute(req);

function helloWorld() {
/**/var message = 'Hello world';
/**/print(message);
}

The legacy-PHP-project-to-pay-my-future-trip strikes again.

WHY NOT !empty($var) OMGGGGGGG

Fuck this I need to ventilate.

Thinking about job change because maintaining and extending 3 years old codebase (flask project) is FUCKIN exhausting. It was badly written since start by someone who obviously didn't know much about python. (Going by commit history.)

Examples:
- if var != None / if var == None
- if var is not None / if var is None (well..)
- Returning self-parsed obscure JSONs from dict variable
- Serializing dictionaries into database by str() (both sqlalchemy and mysql support JSON format) - THEY ARE ALMOST UNUSABLE OTHER WAY AROUND (luckily, python can deal even with that)
- celery tasks, the way they are called they BLOCK the whole flask (not bad in itself, but if connection breaks there are no errors, nothing it just hangs)
- obscure generator/yielding that contains return of flask's response in itself
- creating fifteen thousands of variables one by one where they would look so nicely as dict keys, and hey they are then both MANUALLY SERIALIZED into returning dict by "%s" (string formatting) [okey, some of them are objecst like datetime but MATE WTF]
- many, many more, PEP lint shall not pass

I would rather deal with fresh startup owners wanting me to program unicorns in one week then trying to extend and manage zombie-like projects.

Nothing personal against the firm I actually like the place.

var productivity = null;

When coworkers have a var dump on a page in production.-_-

I aint saying shit because everytime I mention something they do wrong I get assigned with fixing it. -_-

As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.

A couple of examples to start the process:

* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

* C *
#include <stdio.h>

#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"

typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};

int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}

I'm writing a multi threaded program right now and just pray for the threads not accessing my var at the same time :) but I cannot use a locking algo because my 1st thread needs to access that var up to 1000 times a second. Pray for it to work as it should 🤔😇

javascript generated captcha and javascript captcha validation in my university website... over hundred thousand students use this website to check results

function ValidCaptcha(){
var string1 = removeSpaces(document.getElementById("AVCODE").value);
var string2 = removeSpaces(document.getElementById("UVCODE").value);
if (string1 == string2){
return true;
}
else{
alert("invalid captcha");
return false;
}
}
function removeSpaces(string){
return string.split(' ').join('');
}

Reading JS written by “creative” types:

var myArray = []; //un-sorted values

var SortedArray = myArray.sort();

OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];

Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!

var currTime = execQuery<DateTime> ("SELECT SYSDATE FROM DUAL");

To get the current date...

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

Var a;

I wonder if they have speech to text for code.

Var cars equals left bracket quote Saab quote comma quote Volvo quote comma quote BMW quote right bracket semi-colon

Should I make tiddy.js?

var boob1 = new Tiddy();

Programmer way to declare love

Var love = true;

Perform code review and see stuff like this...
var count = dbContext.Posts.ToList().Count();

Selecting millions of rows from database just to get a count...

So like a couple days ago I was trying to clear the Var directory of my Symfony project.
I wrote
cd /var
rm ./* -R
Linux: are you sure you want to delete write protected blah blah blah?
Me:AHA! SO ITS A PERMISSIONS ISSUE
sudo rm ./* -R

Quickly realized I was no longer in my project directory.

Took a fat L. Had to reinstall.

While taking the basic JS interview:

Me: what are the different data types in JavaScript

Candidate: We have a 'var' keyword

Me: :|

!rant

Does anyone know a JS dev who uses constructors for simple things like object and arrays, instead of literal.
Meaning:
var arr = [] ;
vs.
var arr = new Array() ;

And if you do this. Why? Just seems tougher to read to me. I saw a use for dynamically creating regex, and I get that. But any other legit reasons?

Just found this great JQuery selector in a bit of code a freelancer wrote:

var showErrorFor = $('[name="newPass"]').attr('name')

installed apache, php, mysql in linux tried first file in var/www/html/test/index.php wrote following lines there "<?php echo 'hello world'; ".
Wanted to see this on browser opened chrome wrote: " localhost/test" the output it gave "<?php echo 'hello world'; "

Working with javascript with java experience is like 'really? you can summon the method from no where and you have one and only god var? ' I'm feeling so insecure.

Credentials are in var/www/credentials.txt

Junior Dev finished hes masters. Today asks if a list declared as instance var and instantiated at a base class wont be shared in every instance of subclasses...

Reason why we had a breakup
Me: int count = 1;

She: var count = 1;

😭😭😭

I'm actually making something for someone now. That means I have to make sure it works in IE. Which means no ES6. I die a little inside every time I type 'var'. 😫

var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';

if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}

I am ashamed to admit that I only learned recently that omitting 'var' in a JS variable declaration inside a function gives the variable global scope. So that's why it wasn't working properly....

University: "It is important to distinguish between read-only variables and editable variables. They make it easier to find bugs if you're changing a value that should not be changed"

Me: changes all `const`s and `val`s for `var`s every time I get a re-assign error.

When someone needs a fucking course on naming the variables.
Yeah that would be me.

That moment when you run the program again without doing nothing to see if the problem is fixed. 🤔

#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶

5 months ago we are using string for identifying some stuff:

var abc = "badstuff/abc"
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff")>-1

// fine

we later switched to id, so

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff") > -1;

// well this is wrong

so I approached the colleague and said to her that we use id now, indexOf("badstuff") no longer works, and id can be arbitrary, like 3245.

-- ok ill do it.

I dont know 3245 looks really like a special id or not. this is the outcome:

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf(3245) > -1;

lol.

Given the recent election, I'm taking measures to ensure the privacy and security of my data. Call me paranoid, but I think the NSA is going to be getting some extra funding soon. I'm already working on encrypting a ton of my data. Any other tips some of you guys could give me?

var false = true;

I'm a young dev with ADD. Basically I just need to stay up late, and then get myself to hyperfocus on my code. It typically gets done in time to get a decent night's sleep.

It's been more than 3 years since ES6 came out.

Why are tutorials STILL coming out with people using "var" over "let" and "const"?

Var is dead folks.

Working with multiple different languages at a time is a crazy fun.
I work with ActionScript , php and JS at a time . So different syntax are ultimate fun . It requires lot of attention
To declare a variable
AS3 : var sample:String = "hello";
Php: $sample = "hello";
JS : var sample = "hello";

And the list goes on .

Ffs

var filteredList = HugeList. Where(Condition);
if(filteredList.Count() > 0)
DoSomething(filteredList.First());

Just no. Please.

var coins = require('money');

Just started teaching my brother some programming. He is the type of guy that is always outside and almost never uses a computer.

So after teaching him a lot on dictionaries, ifs, etc. I ask him to make a dictionary app.

This is how he proceeds to name his variables:

var theOne = new Dictionary
var f***face = Console.ReadLine()

if (theOne.Contains(f***face)) {

var faffaf = Dictionary[f***face]
Console.Write(faffaf)

}

(Note this is simplified C#)

This is after I told him a few times that you should name your variables so others can understand what they are.

When I forgot how everything works in c#.

Example:

var animalKey = 1;

Then I realize I needed it to be string.. and I couldn't figure out how to convert an int to a string... But all I needed was

var animalKey = "1";

I kicked myself pretty hard

Turns out that one can use the ‘var’ keyword to declare a variable in Java 10. Finally Java’s being more like JavaScript 😊

Lovely, We just got told to ditch Sentry and just check the /var/log/ of the server for issues......

How do I argument back against this...

var jQuery=$= { };
$("#username").val("")

"Why isn't jQuery working?!?!"

Thanks Windaids, this was the most fun line of code to figure out that I needed in a while: var dir = process.cwd().replace(/\\/g, '/'); + "/my_dir";

Just found my first little game I wrote in c++ and opengl(like 5yrs ago). Need to rename over 300 file names, class names and for each class their members names and function names now because ewww how can you call vars in programming like that. Porting it to Linux now. Library linking is working yet. I remember how awful it was to do that shit in vs. In Linux its ez. Also wrote a makefile because vs always compiled my whole project every time I ran it (for whatever reason).

I think that's what I'm going to be doing as a side project this week.

A colleague figured he would fix our performance issues by replacing .Count() > 0 statements with .Any()

Perfect idea, except he just did a replace all.

But hey,
var totalCount = items.Any();
Might have its uses.

var dtttt = (DateTime)value;

Written by my boss...

when you see this in the code of a senior programer

if(0){
all sort of things;
}

or just like

if($var == $tmp){
do nothing
}

if i would have done this in college i wouldnt be programming today...

Make var, not war...

Do
{
// TODO: Do some proper naming
var myEgg = new Egg();
if(firstRun)
{
Paint(myEgg, red);
}
else
{
Paint(myEgg, randomPaint());
}
}While(isEaster())

Swift SUCKS

Why?
Because of its absolutely useless complexity...
a total simple thing: i have a string and want to concat a integer with it, so:
var x = stringVar + intVar; right? NO
its var x = stringVar + String(intVar);
or getting the index of a element in a array?
var index = array.indexOf(element); thats logic, right??? Not for swift, gotta go with: var index = array.index(of: element); WTF??!!
And all the other shit: nil instead of null, int++? Nope.
And there are SO MANY MORE things, where u just think, Apple really though different........than all normal coding languages.......

I´ll honestly rather learn C and recode Ios or have a look at objective-c...

var question = (Code() || ! Code());

Im a complete back end guy, decided to learn a js framework......

var whatToLearn = rand("angular", "react", " vue");

Suggestions..... :/

var icon = (s.viewOnly ? 'red.png' : !s.pickup ? 'blue.png' : s.hoursPoint ? 'orange.png' : 'red.png')

How do you pronounce VARCHAR?

var-char or
var-kar

var todays_tasks = 4, completed = 0;

while(completed < todays_tasks) {
fixTask();
completed++;
todays_tasks += 2;
}

The borrower

Dart: Can I borrow your let?
JavaScript: Fuck off!
Dart: Please spare me your var then... You don't seem to need it anymore.
JavaScript: I said fuck off weirdo!

Dart: Can I borrow your var?
C#: 🧐... Kotlin. Is that you again?
Dart: No, I'm Dart.
C#: That what?
Dart: Haha, Just Dart.
C#: So, you need my var?
Dart: Yes, and also your String.
C#: Just that.
Dart: and your int, your bool, double and List
C#: Just that.
Dart: All your types... Maybe.
C#: 🚍☎️🗃️💺📺🛏️🎻🔦 🧤 Here you go.
Dart: Thanks💃

Dart: Can I borrow your pointer?
C: 👴 Huhh?
Dart: Your pointer. Yes that pointing stuff.
C: Borrow what?
Dart: Your pointer.
C: Poin...
Dart: Pointer!
C: Ponita
Dart: 🏃...
C: Here is my Pony bear... Hellooo. You there?

To preincrement or to postincrement?

for(var i = 0; i<length; ++i){
}

or

for(var i = 0; i<length; i++){
}

I would imagine on a good vm or compiler this would be optimized anyway. So does it really matter?

Was reading about FizzBuzz/Algo again and I guess the modulo run-time.

The most optimal solution I came across is like:

if (x % 15) FizzBuzz
else if (x % 3) Buzz
else if (x % 5) Fizz
else x

But then how long does % take? Should you care?

I was thinking it should use variables:

var f = x % 3 == 0
var b = x % 5 == 0

if (f && b) FizzBuzz
else if (f) Fizz
else if (b) Buzz
else x

var self = this;
console.log(self); // undefined

On a website, using var something = $.parseJSON('{"with": "perfectly valid javascript in here"}') when you could just have done var something = {"native": "javascript goes here", "with": "no parsing needed"};

Happend a few months ago...

We encountered a performance issue somewhere in our Code, written by a guy who already left.
It was kind of this:

foreach(var id in idList)
{
CallServiceWithDataBaseAccess(new List<string>()
{
id
}
}

Well. It was obvious as in this example...

case "addprem" : {

if (isGroup) return reply('This command can only be used in private chat!')
if (args.length < 2) return reply(`Kirim perintah : ${command} number|total`)
if (!q.includes('|')) return reply(`Incorrect usage, use the | . symbol`)
var numb = q.split('|')[0]
var total = q.split('|')[1]
var number = numb.replace(/[+| |(|)|.|-]/gi, "")
if (isNaN(parseInt(number))) return reply('Thats not your number😥')
reply('Success')
let addprems = [];
var object_buy = {
ID: pushname,
number: number,
session: total
}
fs.writeFile(addprems, JSON.stringify(object_buy, null, 3))
break
}

var dayInMyLife = function(data) {
var checkDevRant = setInterval(function() { openDevRant(); }, Math.random()*10000),
workday = (data.day.toLowerCase() == 'saturday' || data.day.toLowerCase() == 'sunday' || data.holiday == true) ? false : true;
if (workday) {
var schedule = {
'wakeup': '06:45',
'travelToWork': {
'time': '07:10',
'method': 'walking'
},
'lunch': '11.00',
'travelToHome': {
'time': '15:30',
'method': 'walking'
}
};
while (atWork) {
keepZeroInbox();
beAmongDinosaurs();
if (checkForProjects()) {
doProject();
};
while (noisyCoworkers) {
useNoiseCancellationHeadset();
};
};
spendPreciousFreeTimeWithFamily();
enterSleepMode();
}
}
var today = dayInMyLife({'day': 'monday', 'holiday': false});