<?php

wakeUp();
goToWedding();

while (atWedding() && bored()) {
browseDevrant();
}

goToTrainStation();
sleep(2700); // got there 45 mins early

while (trainIsMoving()) {
try {
workOnDevrant();
} catch (ProcrastinationException $e) {
// got distracted by devRant
}
}

goHome();

while (unrespondedStickerRequests()) {
sendResponse();
}

goToSleep();

?>

What debugging code feels like

Opening a documentation page to only find:

// Todo

FML.

Oh my dear DevRant, please add code-formatting standards & check-style validation on submitted code snippets, because the wrong indentations of code snippet posts on DevRant is driving me crazy, check-style ftw!

This is kinda funny even if the picture is in Swedish. When Avast requires the computer to restart and you can let Avast to remind you to reboot about 10 mins, 1 hour, 4 hours, 6 hours, tomorrow, next week or the best of all - next century, WOW!!
Maybe something Microsoft should implement in their Windows Update?

while(true) {
Haters.hate()
}

One extra semicolon fucked up whole day!

Wk1:, Client wants stack deployed to AWS in a day... Does it in 30 minutes...

Wk2: client complains about cost of service so requests I downsize the stack they asked for... Does so... Just to save some £££ at loss of any DR or HA capability

Wk3: Client wants stack moved to a different AWS account just cos... Advised could cause issues... Client says carry on. Migrates to account as requested on the days they requested.

Wk4: client complains that said migration caused issues and that proper change control wasn't followed..... That was never informed on..

Wk5: issue discovered to actually be network fault linked to clients wanting every £££ saved in AWS... And as the stack specialist I still have to write up a summary and findings?

Wow just get a decent AWS admin will ya....

When you're in the Coding Nirvana and someone attempts to small talk...

while (boss.isSpeaking) {
musicVolume++;
};

.motivation {display : none;}

Permission denied (publickey).

(That's my life while learning how to harden security on a server and then locking myself out.)

++++++++[>+>++>+++>++++>+++++>++++++>+++++++>++++++++>+++++++++>++++++++++>+++++++++++>++++++++++++>+++++++++++++>++++++++++++++>+++++++++++++++>++++++++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<.

echo "hopes" > /dev/null

It seems like the project I'm tasked to tweak last edited when I was 4 years old... 😏 I doubt is there any dinasour alive who used that generation's technology. :P

I feel so unimportant today. I'm feeling like an

else {
continue;
}

in a loop. (I wrote some code for 2 days and then I found out a way to do it better in 10 mins)

When you're a newbie at your work, fresh out of school and your company does not have a test server and the plus is your boss does all his coding via vim.
The sharpest learning curve and you quickly realize how much more learning is done after school.

sys.exit (0)

my reason being... i resigned! and starting a new exciting journey in DevOps for a Start Up

while( $emails == 0 ) {
getDrink( 'tea' );
doSideProject();
}

.project-managers { display: none; }

while(!rantInMind) {
readOthersRant();
}

lol I love playing tricks set a script to automatically lock account that is after its logged out jajajajajaja I love being an admin

Just a

try {
adult()
} catch (e) {
backToBed()
}

Kind of day

Maintaining some codeho#*'s crappy code be like 🙈

When a rant reminds you of a feature that ends up solving a huge issue in the system you are working on. Thank you devRant!!

do {
fix_hacked_code();
if(emergency)
write_hacked_code();
} while(working);

return false;

#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /

###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day

//@todo: fix this shit

<?php
sleep(60*60*24); //vacation

while(cup.hasCoffee()) {
doWork();
}

When you find this in the PHP code:

if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}

Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D

//run every weekday afternoon
public void workIsOver(int hoursOvertime){

int beerCount = 1;
if (hoursOvertime > 1){
beerCount++;
}

startCar();

int timeHomeMinutes = 20 + Traffic.getTimeLostStuckInTrafficToday();
if (timeHomeMinutes > 40) {
beerCount++;
}

Boolean finallyAtHome = true;

if (goToFridge.checkStock("beer") < beerCount){
Log.e("Dude","WTF?");
}
drink("beer");

while (!girlfriendAtHome){

if (stash != 0){
Joint joint = new Joint(stash);
joint.blaze();
} else {
Log.e("Dude","Seriously?");
}

startAndroidStudio();
workOnSideProject(getCurrentSideProject());

}

girlfriend.communicate();
new AsyncTask<>(thinkAboutCodingInBackground()).execute();

if (bedTime){
try {
doSomeBedroomPartying();
} catch (NullPointerException e) {
Log.w("Sorry","not today");
}

activity.finish();

}
}

if(night){
sleep(12*60*1000);
}else{
//TODO update when you get a job
sleep(12*60*1000);
}

If (currentTime != night){
doNothing();
} else{
getShitDone();
}

this.sucks();

while( me.getStatus() != Status.RICH){
try{
Project p = createProject();
wait();
me.setStatus(p.getStatus());
}catch (GaveUpException e){
me.setStatus(Status.404);
}
** Warning: code unreachable **
System.out.println("I'M RICH!");

while(1){
sleep();
}

for each($email as $stuffToDo){
if($stuffToDo === $moreCrap){
ignore();
}
}

var productivity = null;

#!/usr/bin/env python

""" My daily basis """

def Day():
Confused()
Day()

Day()

bool showUpLateToWork=true;
bool rememberHeadPhones=false;
String DayOfWeek=Tuesday;
int hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight=
int productivity = 100 - hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight;
if(showUpLateToWork)
missStandup();
}
if(rememberHeadPhones)
Productivity +=10
Else
Productivity -=50;

While (hourOfDay(now()) <17)
{
drinkMntDew();
discussDataQualityIssuesWithBusiness();
lookThroughTonsOfPoorlyWrittenCodeForDefectThatBusinessWantsFixedYeasterday();
dieOnTheInside();
curseProjectTeamForPassingCrapCodeToMaintainaceTeam();
cry();
curseComputerApplicationsForNotResponding();
visitBathroomWhileLurkingDevrant();
}
goHome();
while (!asleep && hourOfDay(now()) > 17)
{
playWithPuppy();
qualityTimeWithMyWife();
pkayLeagueOfLegends();
netflixAndChill('litterally');
for (int i =1; i <=5; i++)
showLoveUsingLoveLanguage(i);
try
{
makeBaby();
} catch
{
learnPatience();
}
cuddle();
if(!wifeAwake)
checkDevrant()
}

While(work){
Cry();
}

SELECT * FROM beer_barrel;

NullPointerException

console.log(deadline);
> "It was 3 weeks ago. You suck"

alias rep = goto;
eat: sleep: code: rep eat;

Anyone else suddenly started seeing really old weekly rants? (Specifically for me, wk4, wk11) Has the algorithm changed?

Developer me = new Developer();
Day myDay = new Day();
for(int i = 0; myDay.hour < 5; i++) {
me.sleep();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 5) {
me.wakeUp();
me.rant();
me.getDressed();
me.driveToWork();
myDay.hour += 3;
}
while(myDay.hour>8 && myDay.Hour<16) {
me.work();
me.rant();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 16) {
me.clockOut();
me.driveHome();
myDay.hour += 2;
}
while(myDay.hour < 22) {
me.rant();
me.code();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 22) {
myDay.end();
me.sleep();
}

old commodore 64 basic:
10 print fuck
20 goto 10

function myLife(time){
if(time.current() < time.alarm1)
sleep();
if(time.current() = time.alarm1){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Normal);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() = time.alarm2){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Fast);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() >= time.alarm3){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
workFromHome();
} else{
goTo(work, speed.Fast);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
}

var todays_tasks = 4, completed = 0;

while(completed < todays_tasks) {
fixTask();
completed++;
todays_tasks += 2;
}

var self = this;
console.log(self); // undefined

while (today()) {
check = devRant();
laugh(check);
sleep(1);
}

while (moreFeatures > 0)
{
doWork ();
reduceFeatureCount ();
clientRequest();
moreFeatures++;
}
return finalPayment;

while(people say something){
Listen();
Smile();
Agree();
DowhateveRtHeFUckyouaregOintodoAnyway();
}

PS: that's some heavy method naming😂

Working with one team takes the better part of a day...

try {
WorkWithUXTeam();
}
catch {
try {
WorkWithPlatformTeams();
}
catch {
try {
WorkWithArchitecture ();
}
catch {
Delay():
}
}
}

Man, that was annoying on a phone.

Today start with new programming language scala. All seems to be new.
Little bit same as java.

const silicon_valley = true;
if(silicon_valley == true) {
watchSiliconValley();
} else {
work();
}

// yeah I know it's crappy

mov ecx, 2
today:
nop
nop
nop
nop
nop
nop
nop
nop
mov ecx, 2
loop today

while (!company.hasSoldOut) {
dealWith(existingCustomers);
pretendTo(&doActualWork);
}

<% if user.getsrich? %>
<h1>Done.</h1>
<% else %>
<h6>Die Trying.</h6>
<℅ end %>

while( battlefield1 != released ) {
thumbs.twiddle = true;
}

Anyone else anxious for something announced at E3?

loop: while (awake && !cup.isEmpty()) {
drink(cup);
work;
}
cup.put(Drinks.COFFEE);
goto loop;

var dayInMyLife = function(data) {
var checkDevRant = setInterval(function() { openDevRant(); }, Math.random()*10000),
workday = (data.day.toLowerCase() == 'saturday' || data.day.toLowerCase() == 'sunday' || data.holiday == true) ? false : true;
if (workday) {
var schedule = {
'wakeup': '06:45',
'travelToWork': {
'time': '07:10',
'method': 'walking'
},
'lunch': '11.00',
'travelToHome': {
'time': '15:30',
'method': 'walking'
}
};
while (atWork) {
keepZeroInbox();
beAmongDinosaurs();
if (checkForProjects()) {
doProject();
};
while (noisyCoworkers) {
useNoiseCancellationHeadset();
};
};
spendPreciousFreeTimeWithFamily();
enterSleepMode();
}
}
var today = dayInMyLife({'day': 'monday', 'holiday': false});

Since becoming an "Architect", I've come to learn "Architect" simply means siphoning your will by eliminating all opportunities to actually write code ...

public class Architect {

static final boolean inMeeting = true;
private int will;

public static void main(String args[]){

Architect me = new Architect();
if(me.inMeeting){
while(meeting.active){
me.reactToEvents();
}
}else{
me.writeCode();
}

}

public void reactToEvents(){
if(new Random().nextInt() % 3 == 0)
will -= this.hit(this.face, this.palm, Force.CONSIDERABLE);
else
will -= this.hit(Office.desk, this.head, Force.MODERATE);
}

public int hit(Object object, Object with, Force force){
object.useForce(force);
object.moveTo(with);
return new Random().nextInt();
}
}

<?php
rise("Hello World);
live(
//TODO: something valuable
);
die("See you soon);
?>

Looking back at your code and thinking "I did this?"

As a developer with adhd, some days are just wasted and ends with the brain getting stack overflow from to much unorganized code and infinite callbacks 😂

$brain = new adhdBrain;

        while($brain.energy > 0) {

            $brain->checkSocialMedia();

            $brain->work();

            $brain->readNews();

            $brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();

            $brain.energy--;

        }   

        public function work() {

            $brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();

            $brain->readNews();

            $brain->code();

            $brain->readEmail();

            $brain.energy--;

        }

        public function getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice() {

            $brain->readEmail();

            $brain->angry++;

            $brain.energy--;

        }

        public function readEmail() {

            $brain->work();

            $brain->readNews();

            $brain.energy--;

        }

        public function readNews() {

            $brain->work();

            $brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();

            $brain.energy--;

        }

function day() {

do {
if(baby.sleeps()) {
try {
sleep(getAlarmTime() - getTime());
} catch (e) {
wakeUp();
}
}
} while (getTime() < getAlarmTime());

eat(breakfast);

commute(work);

work();

eat(lunch);

work();

commute(home);

cook(dinner);

eat(dinner);

switch (babyStatus) {
case 'awake':
entertainBaby();
break;

case 'asleep':
if(getRandom(1, 100) === 100) {
doSideProject();
} else {
playOverwatch();
}
}

return;

}

while (true) {
try {
writeCode()
} catch (UndefinedIsNotAFunction) {
try {
drinkCoffee()
} catch (OutOfCoffeeException) {
die(-1)
}
}
}

Cat life.txt | grep happiness && grep success

Null

define myDay() {
if (time==0600) {
while (sleeping == true) {
xiaomi.miBand.vibrate();
}
}
morningCoffee = new coffee("Strong");
sleep(120); // Gotta let that cool
while (morningCoffee.state.empty == false) {
morningCoffee.drink();
}
while (time > 0630) {
putFaceOn();
}
leaveForStation();
while (train.overground.atStation() == false) devRant.scroll;
getOnTrain();
while (train.overgrond.atStation("Kenton") == false) devRany.scroll;
getOffTrain();
getBus();
while (getToUni == false) devRant.writePost.wk4;
devRant.uploadPost.wk4;
while (time > 1300) project.workHard();
while (time > 1400) lunch.obliterate();
while (time > 2100) project.meetDeadline();
walkToFlat();
goToBed();
}

.brain {float : left}
.brain.hover {float : right}

when youve optimised your front end code to be blazing fast then marketing says put in these 10 blocking scripts plz we need more emails

if (Tuesday) {
Fuck.My.Life
}

throw new exception("There were not enough free threads in the ThreadPool to complete the operation.");

Brain == toast

void day(){
wakeUp();
code();
codeEating();
nap();
code();
sleep(28800);
}

.life { content: ""; }

protected $db;

$this->db = new PDO($tooLazy, $toDeclare, $everything);

public function getCoffee() {
$getCoffee = $this->db->prepare('SELECT * FROM Coffee');
$getCoffee->execute();
$result = $getCoffee->fetchAll();
return $result;
}

class day {
public void standup(Coffee cof) {
Human.drink(conf);
}
public void school() {
boring = true;
}
public void code(Coffee cof) {
turnCoffeeIntoCode(cof)
}
public void repeat() {
standup(new Coffee());
school();
code(new Coffee());
}
}

$status ="work";

while(true)
echo $status . "<br>";

Fuckin lazy, tired and unproductive.

#include<holiday.h>
#include<back_from_hostel.h>
int useful_stuff_done()
{
return void;
}

work();
/* TODO */
moreWork();

class Me(Person):
def day(self, mood):
self.morning()
self.job.start()
while True:
if self.job.time > 28800:
break
self.job.work()
self.job.end()
self.afternoon()
self.evening()

def morning(self):
self.say("Hello World!")
if mood == bad:
self.be_grumpy()
self.__super__.morning()

nop
nop
nop

wanna code but no mood now

doSeriousWork(){
var knowledge=new Tab("google.com");
var stuff=knowledge.find('seriousTopic');
if(stuff.contains('other unrelated more interesting topics'){
while(1){
DoMoreInterestingTopic();
}
}
}

new Promise(function (resolve, reject) {
self.getPaid(function (err, money) {
if(err) {
reject(err);
console.log("fml");
} else {
resolve(money);
console.log("fuck yeah!") ;
});
})
.then(resolve)
.catch(reject);

While($bug == true){
cryInCorner();
}

foreach ($legacyCode as $codeToSupport) {
$bugsFound++;
$sanity--;
}

// When the deadline was yesterday
//... Or last week

while daysToDeadline() < 0 && !projectIsFinished {
self.sleepTime.reduce()
self.code()
self.addCaffeine()
}

while(1)
[
studyForExams(hard);
]

Thread.sleep(System.getCurrentMilis() + 500000);

javac MyDay.java
MyDay.java:5 error: cannot find symbol
Coffee coffee = new Coffee();
^
symbol: class Coffee
location: class MyDay

public void today() throws Exception {
Car c = getPosessions().getCar();
c.wash();
c.wax();

Game g = getPosessions().getUnchartedFour();
while(!g.finished()) {
g.play();
Thread.sleep(1000);
}

this.eatDinnerWith(getFamily());

System.out.println("Today Rocked!");
}

#include <mindreading.h>

doMagic();

While (pmIsTalking | scIsTalking)
fireEvent("respond", "Nope that isn't in scope.");

while (working) {
if (time.now() - last_pause > 45m) {
rest_eyes(me)
}
}

Public static void Main()
{
wakeUp();
massiveProject.refactorLargeSwathsOfCodeForReusability();
smallerProject.findOutItCanBeDoneInOneLine();
Environment.RageQuit();
}

((Human)me).initialize(new Activity().setActivity(new Project((AndroidApp)devrant_clone, new ProgrammingLanguage ("java"))));

Brace yourself java null pointer exception is already on its way.

async void day()
{
wakeup();
CheckDevRant();
DoShit();
If(IsInMood)
GoOffice();
while(IsInMood)
{
Eat();
Game();
Code();
}
Eat();
Sleep()
await day();
}

Man I am having a bad day. Stack overflow

#!/bin/bash
# An ideal work day

# Wake up naturally, keep sleeping until I won't wake up as a zombie
TIMETOWAKEUP=$(while ps -eo state,pid,cmd | grep "^Z"; do sleep 1; done)

# Work, between 9AM - 5PM, weekdays only!
TIMETOWORK=$(while [ $(date +%H) -gt 09 -a $(date +%H) -lt 17 -a $(date +%u) -le 5 ];
# Do cool work and get paid, every second.
do $COOLWORK && $GETPAID; sleep 1; done)

# Home
TIMETOCHILL=$(while $ATHOME;
# Do cool work, without getting paid, and spend money made from $TIMEATWORK
do $COOLWORK && $SPENDSPENDSPEND; sleep 28800; done)

$TIMETOWAKEUP; $TIMETOWORK; $TIMETOCHILL

# I don't get out much

if($scope.soup && $scope.checkout.broken){
$scope.fixCheckout()
};

$scope.fixCheckout = function() {
$scope.accrueTechnicalDebt = true;
$scope.writeDisgustingCode = true;
$scope.feelsGood = false;
$scope.maintainable = false;
};

abstract class Ich {
abstract void support(CoWorker coWorker);
abstract void programm(List<Task> tasks);
abstract void analyseCode(String code); // mostly horrible code
abstract void drinkCoffee(Mug mug);
abstract void extinguishFireAndKillBugs(String moreLegacy);
}

...

void work() {
ich.drinkCoffee();
while(isWorkingTime()) {
int rand = Random(0,100)
if(rand < 5) {
ich.myMood += ich.programm(tasksForMe);
} else if (rand >= 5 && rand < 20) {
ich.myMood -= ich.analyse(legacyCode);
} else if (rand >= 20 && rand < 40) {
ich.myMood -= ich.support(GetNextGuyToMe())
} else {
ich.extinguishFireAndKillBugs(moreLegacyCode);
}

if(myMood <= 0) {
ich.gotoHome();
}
}
}

while ($bossIsAround) {
$me->duck ();
$me->checkDevRant ();
$bossIsAround = !$me->areCoWorkersHappy ();
}

{
while(time_to_exams > 0){
me.shouldBeLearning(true);
time_to_exams--;
}

public void shouldBeLearning(boolean bool){
if(bool){
should_be_learning = false;
waste_time_on_DevRant = true;
} else {
waste_time_on_DevRant = true;
}
}
}

/*too lazy to convert times to Millis...*/
Private void day() {
try {
Do {
meeting();
while (currentTime < 5pm);

readAndRespond(email);
readAndRespond(slack);
readAndRespond(skype);
}
finally {
realWork();
}
}

private void meeting() {
Thread.sleep(30s); //I wish.
}

true!=false

for me in range(life):
sleep()
code()
eat()

while(!me.isDead){
if(!dayStar.isOverhead)
me.Thread.Sleep(dayStar.riseTime() -DateTime.Now);
var totalCodeTimeToday = new Timespan();
while(dayStar.isOverhead){
if(me.isHungry())
me.Eat(food);
totalCodeTimeToday.addTime(me.Code().Duration(tenMinutes));
if(totalCodeTime >= eightHours)
me.Relax();
}
}

<?php
date_default_timezone_set('Asia/Kolkata');
$current_time = date('Y-m-d H:i:s');
$alarm = new DateTime('2016-06-13 04:05:00');
if( $current_time == $alarm)
{
wake_up();
eat('suhur');
pray('fajr');
browse('devRant');
browse('Instagram');
sleep(18000);
}

shower();
goto('friends office');
browse('YouTube');
work(14400);
pray('zuhr');
pray('asr');
goto('gym');
exercise(5400);
goto('home');
pray('maghrib');
eat('iftaar/dineer');
pray('isha');
goto('store');
work(7200);
goto('home');
sleep(7200);

?>

listenables, singable, crap = select(spotify.discover_weekly,out_loud,[])

for song in listenables:
if song.style == 'oldie':
print "Seriously Spotify? Do I look like I'm 65?"
time.sleep(5.0)
out_loud.append(song)

if song.style == 'cool':
time.sleep(2.0)
continue

If( $time > 7:00) work_from_home();
If( $time > 10:00) work_at_office();

function work_at_office() {
$people_in_office = rand(1,5);
$total_hours = rand(4,8);
$quick_easy_tally = 0;
...
}

public class MyLife {
public static void main (String [] args) {
System.out.println ("My life sucks!");
}
}

Thread.sleep(0);

Angular I am required to love you but I still have feelings for your plain Jane cousin.

while(projectManager === isAlive) {

me.work();

(!isAlive) ? new.projectManager : me.keepWorking();

}

while (!4am){
IF (stillAlive){
keepcoding();
}
else
break;
}

public void DailyLife(bool sleep)
{
While( WaitingForCompile && !sleep)
{
BrowseDevrant();
FindNew("Girlfriend", "tinder");
RefreshIfCold(coffee);
}
DebugCodeIfErrorFound();
DailyLife(Datetime.Now >= Sleep.Time);
}

[TestClass]
public class DayTest
{

[TestMethod]
public void Init_WowEnthusiasmPlusMeeting_fml()
{

// Arrange
Day monday = new Day(

Math.Ceiling(Chrizzle.Mojo),
(List<Task>)Board.GetStories()

);

int startingTaskCount = monday.Tasks.Count();
monday.AddMeeting(new Meeting(duration: 7.5));

// Act
monday.Init();

// Assert fml
Assert.IsTrue(

monday.Tasks.Count() ==
startingTaskCount &&
Chrizzle.Mojo == 0

);

}

}

// Unreachable code detected

void main()
{
if( isWeekday() ) {
if( alarmRinging() || kidsKnocking() ) {
startMorningRoutine();
escapeToOffice();
while ( !meetingsInProgress() ) {
code();
} //meetings interrupt the whole day, every time...
escapeMeetings(); //Go home.
startEveningRoutine();
} else {
sleep(1);
}
} else {
playWithKids();
doYardWork();
if( kidsSleeping() ) {
sleep(1);
}
}
} //end main. Like a microcontroller, this forever loops. :)

# rails manage.py runserver
Usage: ...

# python run server
/use/local/opt/python/bin/python2.7: can't find '__main__' module in 'run'

# npm server

Usage: npm <command> ...

# webpack s[TAB]

...

# [TAB]

...

# ./just_fckn_run_pls.sh

zsh: no such file or directory: ./just_fckn_run_pls.sh

# DO IT
zsh: correct DO to do [nyae]? n
zsh: command not found: DO

# exit

Thank you. Come again!
-- Dr. API Nahasapeemapetilon

============= Broken Pipe =============

10 GOTO PUB

self.sick == nil

do
{
var requirements = ReadRequirements();
Code(requirements);
}
while(requirements != ReadRequirements());

def do(something=None):
do(something)

do()

while True:
check(devRant)

function pmAsksForMore(work) {
return iDoIt(work);
}

function iDoIt(work) {
return pmAsksForMore(work);
}

pretent like you're busy is harder then being really busy

Fatal problem in weekly rant 4: Segmentation fault
No further messages available
Core was not dump for reasons unknow

CoffeeReadyCallback() {
DrinkCoffee();
}

DrinkCoffee() {
QALife();
}

QALife() {
Throw TableFlip
//wait for more coffee to be ready
}

String[] hidingPlaces = new String[1000000];
hidingPlaces[Math.rand()*1000000] = "bug";
findBug(hidingPlaces);

public int findBug(String [] are) {
// todo: return index of bug with complexity < O(1)
}

//TODO:Describe your day with block of code

using Friend.Drive;
using Coffie.Machine;
using MyCheck;

namespace Raspik.Week.Thursday
{

public class Init
{
#region Morning
public void Init()
{
this.status = _status.WakeUp;

this._getReadyToWork(Coffee, Closes, Laptop Bag);
bool success = this.getToBus();
if(!success)
Friend.Drive.ToWork(Beer,ListenToMetal());

Coffee.Machine.DoubleEspresso();
MyCheck.WorkOn(Jira.Moderate, Jira.Blocker);

#endregion
#region Noon

this._eatFood(Beef,Ale)
this._devRant.CheckInteresting();
this._facebook.CheckInteresting();

this._workEvents += new EventHander(InternetStatus);

this._coolEvents +=new EventHandler(Purge_Nerf_War);

MyCheck.WorkOn(Jira.All);
MyCheck.HappyHour(Beer,Whiskey);

MyCheck.OnlineMeeting(Client);
this.GoHome(Friend.Drive.Home);

#endregion
#region Evening

while(true)
this._baby.Diaper.Change;
this._goToSleep(this.KissWifeAndChild));
}
}

private boolean didWakeUpForNothing() {
if (mathTutoring.isClosed()) {
return true;
} else {
studyForExams();
}
}

private void studyForExams() {
feelEmptyInside = cryInShower = true;
}

while(!Success)
{
finals.toStudyFor();
if(Dead||!(finals.toStudyFor))
{
up.wake;
finals.toStudyFor();
}
else
{
home--;
family.disown();
life.fail();
}
if(Success)
{
down.lie();
notToCry.try();
cryALot.do();
celebration==true;
}
}

(define (day p)
(map(lambda(color)
(colorize p color))
(list "red" "orange" "yellow" "green" "blue" "purple")))

>(day(square 5))

>Error: too many errors. Press any key to continue.

def doWork():
def readThisWikiArticle():
readThisWikiArticle()
readThisWikiArticle()

doWork()

while (optimistic > knowing)
megaUsefulOptimize.run()
if (truth.found())
{
shout.start(developer.LEAD)
}
else
{
secret.timeWasted++;
this.message("you're doing the right
thing man");
}

for (var i in workload) {
if(!workload.status) {
return;
} else {
process();
}
}

while(tasks) {
me.work();
}

while (true) { Developer.Sleep().Code().Eat().Code().Eat(); }

<?php
echo "Much Tutorials. Much Learning";
?>

usefull=accomplishmentsInLifeToday
thingsDoneToday=list()
minutesInDay=1440
minutesRemaining=countdown(minutes)
void endOfTheDay:
if len(thingsDoneToday) > 0:
print("What a productive day huh?!")
else:
print("You lazy caffeine maniac... Get up and code!")
while minutesRemaining != 0:
if usefull.done():
thingsDoneToday.append(usefull)
else: continue
endOfTheDay()

Prints: You lazy caffeine maniac... Get up and code!
Plot Twist: Doesn't even print because it's full of bugs. Fuuuuuuu!

while !closing_time? do
drink_tea
check_error_logs
work_on_current_iteration
argue_with_junior

check_email
swap_to_another_project
hotfix_emergency_features
argue_with_senior

review_tickets
tell_client_about_delays
pee_on_the_hour
argue_with_boss

work_on_current_iteration
refactor_code
scratch_head
argue_with_past_self
end

just for programmers:
e=mc^2

Class Workday extends NormalDay{
PriorityList taskList = getDefaultTasks() ;

Funitems finitems=getEnjoymentTasks();

Workday addTasks(Task... tasks){
taskList. AddAll(tasks);
return this ;
}

PriorityList getTasks() {
return taskList ;
}

Void act() {
funItem.lookupAppropriateItem().execute();
taskList.popTop(). Execute();

}

}

//class ends

//inside main...
....
...
Office today = new Workday();
today.addTasks(yesterday. GetTasks()) ;

Today. act() ;

//.........

!energy

$dow = date('l');
if($dow == 'Monday') {
$project = $_GET['project'];
while($dow !== 'Friday') {
exec('buildProject');
$dow = date('l');
}
exec('submitProject');
execInBackground('celebrate');
while(!isset($project_approval) {
exec('wait');
}
if($_GET@['project_approval'] == 'approved') {
exec('celebrateGoHome');
}
elseif($_GET['project_approval'] == 'nevermind') {
exec('burnItAllDown');
}
else{
exec('hangHeadGoHome');
}
}