Client: "We have reviewed the search results today for 'not very relevant keyword' and continue to be amazed at our low ranking, even X sits above us.
I am unsure why this is proving so difficult to correct"

Me: "It's been 3 days..."

'anker!

! Rant
Like the new tshirts, @trogus, you missed a trick by having the css central... Surely it should be half off the body or on their forehead or something

Thoughts...
https://thenextweb.com/apps/2017/...

Working on an opencart eccommerce site I built in 2011... What the fuck was I doing?
Pushing the company to go for and upgrade / rebuild so I can clean it all up.
It was my first online shop AND my first opencart project... But even so... It's scary to look at. Works great, but the code layout is making me twitch.

!Rant
Any recommendations for a daily planner that runs on Win7?
Prefer to have something desktop based (with Sync if possible) as I always have too many browser tabs open so a web based one will get lost or closed and therefore not do its job.

One reason I don't have kids... My mates phone.

Beer...

Be warned...

It's shouldn't be that funny, yet...
https://youtu.be/Q_hG4qDPUY0

Stolen but...

! Rant
Anyone self taught in python that could recommend resources for a complete beginner

Send email for stressball... Update app, now it's 500...
Will try again in a few months :-D

! Rant... Advice.
Looking for a new server to host my clients websites.
Worked with WHM and CPanel until now.
Think it's time for a Vps and looking at prices between managed and self managed and after some experienced advice.
Where do I start with learning about managing a server, what's best options (I'd like to stay with Apache and cpanel as I understand it).
Any recommendations for Aussie vps?

That algo working it's magic again :-D

My teacher was shit, no experience, no knowledge, no nothing... Although I stil maintain that self taught is a valid method

Dear owner of websitex.com,
How do you expect your website to perform and increase sales with so many 404s, no meta titles and descriptions etc... (blah, blah, blah for a page)

Me: very glad to hear that, I took it down, deleted the files and let the domain name lapse 2 years ago... XXX

Anyone here used oneflare.com.au to get some extra work?
Is it just a waste of time scam?
Every job I quote on is closed in the 3 minutes it takes me to open app and type reasonable response

Ok, all coded out for the day (week) any good series you'd recommend... Sci Fi, action, superhero, war, sniper, cool shit type stuff.

My 'stressball'

My phone is always on silent.
If you want something done, leave a message or listen to my phone message which says... Email me details and I'll sort it

... Yep

Day off in the pub

Oops, all day in the pub. Best excuse for not being available win a carton of beer... That I'll never send you.
I sound like a client, gimme shit for... free

Why has google decided that every night at 7.30 to notify me that the traffic is light in my area?
Why would I care, the traffic is always light here and it's 7.30pm...im always to drunk to drive by now!

Reply buttons disappeared?
@dfox

!Rant - advice
Anyone know the best way to determine if slow reaction time on a website is down to my internet vs their shitty fucking wordpress template?

There's a Rant coming soon - but I need to make sure it really is their fault and not just crappy Internet because it's Sunday night and the whole town is watching Netflix

! Rant.
Lots of hate towards WordPress, which I understand as I avoided using it for years, but what is your preferred alternative.
To qualify, the alternative must have:
-An 'as good', simple post/page administration interface
- similar abilities regarding shop/blog and payment solutions
OR
have the ability to integrate these features for a reasonably proficient developer.

@dfox need some grey in those avatars... I'm never gonna be blonde again :-)

Needed a new website for my business, so learned how to build one