Our testers want us devs to start paying 50 cents for each bug the testers find. But they won't agree to paying us devs 50 cents for each bug that makes it into production.

:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.

New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take?"

         Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi."

         New engineer: "Why pi?"

         Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational."

Looking at my code for 10 minutes. The switch case is always going to default. Almost about to break my head.

I FORGOT TO PUT FUCKING BREAK AFTER EACH CASE. WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY

Finally I found the community where the developers feel happy, pity & LOL for each others delight and distress.

Thanks <devRant&&Co*in>

Do devs really fight or do we just mildly assert differing opinions then ignore each other for extended periods of time?

My uni implemented Bluetooth beacon based attendance monitoring.

Raspberry pi + cloned beacons = 100% attendance.

Idiots 😂

(Edit for clarity: app on smartphone, Bluetooth beacon in each room)

So I ordered my own stickers at my local store here, all of this costs $5, with 3 stickers for each set

PM: Let‘s store each database tables on different servers for more security.

Me: ._____.‘

For those difficult days, one stress ball for each hand.

“No we don’t use the time zone info you send on each request. We get all the drivers for the store ID, choose one of them randomly and take their time zone. We have been assuming it will always be the same for all drivers for each store.”

This is my new favorite response to a Jira ticket in this company.

I may have to print it out and hang it on my desk

Manager: In order to increase business resiliency we will be doing cross training this week.

Dev: What does that involve?

Manager: Everyone will do everyone else’s job for one day each. After this you will all be considered trained so that if anyone can easily fill in for anyone else.

Dev: …

A friend was writing a small game. He asked me to take a look at why the FPS where horrible although he was only drawing the background each tick.

He had about 10 different images that were used to draw the background tiles. Each iteration of the game loop he would loop over all tile positions, determine which image to use for this tile, load the image from disk and create a new tile using the image, which then would be drawn and forgot.

Since my coworker is on holiday and our desks are next to each other, I took his spot for this week and connected my secondary monitor to his setup

Four screens this week :D

What the fuck is this versioning system? DO they generate a random number for each patch?

Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…

I keep adding this slide to each presentation for school or whatever.

Just nobody got it yet...

2 junior programmers doing code review for each other

One stored procedure for each page

That’s the “best practice for performance”

For each day on devrant I feel this place more like a community than a social media. And damn thats good. Thank you all for making my day

What do you guys think of having a "go anonymous" feature while ranting?

I was thinking when community will go larger and people who know each other in real life, start following each other, then it might become hard for them to rant about stuff or they might become hesitant in rantings.

A coworker complained that the ci server is to slow for a build. Found 4000 js library source files which are copied in each build.

The names in the story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the very very stupid. So I set up test accounts for each team member in the new test environment for our project building the new web interface for our SaaS product. Each username had an underscore in it like john_smith. I told everyone the news in the morning scrum and got 2 requests for help an hour later from people saying they could not log in with their username johnunderscoresmith.

Web Developer with no common sense: “I’m going to query the currency calculator API for each of the 1000 records to convert.”.

Web Developer with common sense: “I’m going to query the currency rates API and use the calculation to convert each of the 1000 records.”

Just pray for each of ur boss folks !!

-Why don't you get married?
-We are testing each other for bugs .

!dev-related

Didn't think that'd ever happen, but I got back together with my girlfriend.

We hadn't seen each other for a while due to... let's call it a "very unfortunate combination of circumstances", which made me sad (and her too, apparently).

Boss: We need to make a site but the content will have bolded words where the user can hover over to see more for each term.

Me: Ok sounds simple.

B: It's for a client and we aren't gonna touch it in the future so make it simple.

M：okay... so no JavaScript?

B: That means we are only going to send them HTML and nothing else. Here's a list of the images they have.

Me:......

Now I have to make about 80 pages of pure html with inline styles on each page.

There are legal companies in my home country who make a living by selling pirated games and software for only 2$ each...

So this company came up with a nice way for us to fuck each other's ass with a double-sided butt-plug: Everyone will have their own partners. For every day your partner delays his/her task, you will get a deduction on your salary, and vice versa.

it finally happened, PM/PO/SM is now also dev シ

each standup he now also gives update about his work in progress, with his diligently designed subtasks, perfectly sticking to the daily script, like a good well-behaved employee boi. it's weirdly cute

devs can't await to review his first PR. feeling the strong urge to spank his ass for each minor coding style issue or poorly-named variable...

Bookbinding, it takes time and it gives me an opportunity to slow down. I appreciate the different textures of each paper and technique for each binding/stitching method. Plus this way I never have to buy an expensive notebook 😁

Never really used a UI framework for web development, always coded each component myself. Im using one now and I have to say it's not that bad!

It's becoming more and more difficult to hide my hatred for my job each day

There's this WebDesigner who wants every single website made pixel-perfect to his design.

We usually spend like 1 extra month on each website just because we can't do it pixel-perfect for each resolution

Now I'm working on yet another of his websites and his brother is beside me as a stagist

Am I allowed to insult the designer and swear against him every 5 minutes or so?

Accountant: Can we just get one big Excel file with all the transactions instead of separate reports that are filled out specifically for each dorm?

Me: Hell yes you can.

When you run into a supposedly deterministic piece of code that behaves differently each time you run it for God knows what reason

!rant

So I like to order the same thing for each restaurant. And there's this really good Mexican restaurant. Every time I eat there, the price of my order is $13.37. That is all.

Hi fellow code indenters,

I am a tab indenter myself because each dev on the same project can decide how much the indentation is. Some prefer 4, some 2, some prefer both depending on language.

Now I already asked a few space indenters here why spaces. Because I never heard a good argument for using spaces instead of tabs. Each time I asked I didn't get an answer.

So this time once again: why would you use spaces over tabs for indentation?
I want to make a good decision and for that I need arguments for both.

My first time working with Java and SQL queries(SQL with little/no knowledge): created separate db for each entities and hoped it to work together after the coding was finished.

what a noob!

The Ballmer Peak applies to gaming too. Poured myself a glass of gin&tonic, then started playing csgo and drank after each time I died. For science.

Holy shit I'm good at this game.

Ok, YOU fuck up THREE (!) times, and send me new text for the app, each time saying its '100% finished, no errors' and expect me (each iteration) to do it IMMEDIATELY

Why don't you go fuck yourself, do your damn job, do it right, and THEN contact me instead of running around like an childish preschooler with a pair of scissors

When your internet doesn't work for 2 hours and you decide to create a stupid script to check the extension of each files and it works at the first try... WTF is happening?

I am too lazy to automate a task from which I suffer each month one or two hours (for the last 7 years).. Automation would cost me only one or two hours at most!

Startup company: "We love competing with each other! We (the sales team) play pranks and pass each other mini footballs! Mandatory team social nights (No we won't pay you for it)!

Me, a typical introverted dev: "HISSSSSSSSSSS, away, away!"

What's with these sales people making software companies reminiscent of 1980s Wall Street trading floors?

Any thoughts on whether my alternative keyboard layout will lower my risk for wrist pain? I map each key to an Amazon dash button on each edge of a large bookshelf in my office. It's lots of exercise, and I'm almost back up to my old typing speed.

Long but hilarious:
I was deeply concerned about how we have a single, non-paginated call to a backend service, returning hundreds of entries, which has to be enriched with constant data fetched from our db for each entry. FOR EACH ENTRY. AND FOR EACH REQUEST.
I voiced my concerns to my PM, who called me a "rage prophet" for it.

As expected, the call took 20-something seconds to complete.
Ten minutes before the CEO comes over to have a look, another dev changes his loosely-related service, and the entire super-heavy, sprawling abyss of enrichment pipeline returns in sub-second timing!!!

CEO: guys, this is too fast. You have to slow it down a bit. It doesn't seem reliable that we're able to get all this data immediately.
PM: you see, rage prophet, it all worked out in the end
Me: #$@%$&!!!!!

enough is enough
to all the fucker ass morons deploying mini js frameworks with ambiguous names and undocumented functionality all fucking minified and using at least 20-30 of them on each page
dafuq you need a different slider for every section ?

So glad monday is my last day at my job.

Got a message from mgmt through teams chat today, to paraphrase: we are making our awful time entry system even worse. We are switching to microsoft projects next week for all project. So you'll need to enter in your company wide time sheet with 40 hrs every week, separated by project, then go to a seperate url for each project you work on and enter in the hours you worked on for each individual task given to you by the project manager. There will be no way of easily seeing that the hours in microsoft projects add up to equal the hours entered into the company wide time sheet.

Answer honestly: How fucked would you be if someone would send the people you ranted about a link to each rant? (sorry for weird sentence structure, I'm tired)

**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things

**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.

**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?

**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!

genuine question: does @dfox read each and every rant? I get his ++ for almost every rant and his ++'s are around 8000 😱

Writing a function to take a string of delimited entities, parse each character to find the separators, capture the characters in between separators, and return an array of entities.

I used this for about a year before I learned about String.split()

Yeah.

I have a dual booted laptop with Windows and Ubuntu, I can not for the live of me choose which one to use all the time. They each have their benefits! What do you think?

Suggestion for @dfox

Allow rant authors to see the number of views / unique views for each rant.

Designers!!
What do ya think

A dashboard for a website
The cpu temp progress bar has jquery/AJAX wich outputs the cpu temperature at every each 3 second of the server wich is on a raspberry pi at the moment.

Does it look good for these days?

PS: used php for the backend

Hit udemy, Google for any new technologies, attend large conferences, and simply spend 30 mins to an hour each day coding in anything new - and of interest.

I have to keep up with the young people, to keep my job/career alive, heh.

Worked for a party supply chain on their e-commerce solution for less than minimum wage and was overworked.

The only reason i did it was so i could visit my girlfriend 3 hours away each weekend.

We are still together 7 years later and have 2 kids.

You know what's better then the Twilight love story (or any love story for that matter)?

The contract between an Indian client and an Indian Vendor. It's the perfect marriage!

Both hate each other, can't stop fucking each other, one pays money to the other and the other gives head to one, the underlings are always caught between who should be followed and both of them DONT LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!

happy married life, buggers.

When you're a bored college student tired of hearing your boss complain about making the schedule every week so you code a program that sorts each employee into their job categories, stores the days they aren't allowed to work (due to other jobs and or class schedules), the time of day they can't work and any days requested off. Then analyzes who's available for each shift throughout the week alongside categorizing each day of the week by the amount of employees needed and prints a perfect schedule for her to use that week

Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....

So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.

This is my first rant! I feel this every time I flag each function on my code looking for my mistake and still doesn't work:

Someone asked me about Ruby vs Python.

The flashbacks regarding the python vs ruby wars started to kick in man.

I always liked Ruby faaaaar more than Python. And find Rails to be a far superior alternative to Django as the web framework champion from each side and Sinatra far more enjoyable than flask as the micro framewor champion on each side goes.

But this guy is very math oriented and likes the idea of data science for which Ruby has a disadvantage in terms of available ecosystems.

You can't take my blocks and dsls from me tho. I will fight for them.

That's it!
Trying to plan ahead for each day but i keep failing !
I go to bed early at night but still cant wake up as early as i hope to.
Anybody has a solution for this?

Only around 700 lines of code and I finally have my first working Vulkan drawcall! Can't wait to integrate it into my engine for all the parallel rendering goodness (not to mention better architecture and asynchronous-ness)

One thing that's a bit weird about Vulkan is the way everything is very static and tightly linked together. You basically need a different renderpass for each stage of rendering (scene-hdr-no-aa, scene-hdr-msaa4, scene-hdr-smaa1, scence-shadow, post-bloom, post-resolve, etc.), a different pipeline object for each distinct pipeline configuration (!!) and both framebuffers and pipeline objects are only valid within the single renderpass they've been created for (roughly speaking)

Oh, and each time the window is resized you have to recreate *all* of these objects from scratch because they also depend on viewport size

No wonder `pipelineCache` is the first argument of `vkCreateGraphicsPipelines` lol

"Oh, the next button is 2 pixels to the left, let's open a separate defect for each page that has the next button"

If i had a dollar for each time I promised myself to actually work, I wouldn't have to work for the rest of my life...

!rant

I figured out a way to make your code readable!

The main idea: make everything into a function. Each function should be small and you should gradually use past functions to build future functions.

Depending on the language and the size of your code you should make your functions with different sizes, but always keep them small.

This function splitting allows for debugging small parts of your code, avoids repetition and abstracts your code, each making it more readable.

There used to be stories about how people sold their 650 bitcoins for $12 each and regretted it when it hit $22k.

Now they're gonna be regretting selling their bitcoin at $22k when it is worth $1M each.

My question is why is btc even popular again now?!

My biggest dev regret was that I've followed other people's dream.
I lost precious time into trying being the "good kid" for my family and support them in their time of need.
Now I'm considered old for a starter and getting a dev job becomes harder with each passing day.

New project arrises says teacher, my mate and I go to the meeting and it seems alright, guy says he'll pay us $1000 each.
A couple weeks later, "Sorry boys cant get that much money need to pay you $500 each".

Now we have basically finished the whole thing he sends an email and it says, "We got a great fund of $333 for both of you."

Lesson learnt never work in a community project if your looking for money.

New idea: Fuck raytracing for global illumination because you just need too many rays for it to converge

What if we do surfels (to keep the number of probes down and relevant to our scene) and we update the 4x4-ish sized hemisphere irradiance maps not by tracing a single ray per frame per surfel. I have a fast as shit compute shader rasterizer... What if I just raster each surfel each frame? Should be around the same number of pixels as the primary visibility so totally feasible....

Each frame just jitter the projection a bit and voila. Should have extremely high quality diffuse global illumination at well below 1 ms. Holy shit this might just work

I don't understand how people can write code, but be completely inept at developing software.

Take a zoom feature:

SOLUTION 0:
- Use 2 buttons
- Use 2 button listeners
- Use 2 float variables (for each button).
- Don't log anything.
- Use 3 crazy, hardcoded, constant, int literals like 66, 30...
- both buttons manipulate the same text field.
- no logging.
- Both listeners use if/else to check if the variable is within a range -- one if/else for each listener.
- Use crazy method calls to get text size.

SOLUTION 1:
- Use a slider.
- Use a single listener.
- No variables needed.
- Use a linear equation for zooming.
- has logging.

Unit testing is cool and all, but FFS...

If you want unit test - cool. But its not drop-in replacement for functional testing!

I believe each release should be manually tested.

We did retrieve the whole list 20 lines ago, didn't we?
Well, who cares... Let's retrieve it again IN A LOOP, im EACH ITERATION.
and then for good measure lets make another query for each item, each time we retrieve the list. Why not?

I have to make an effort not to swear right now. I have been asked to optimize a particular oiece of code...

Ffs

Is it just my perception or is everyone here all of a sudden getting unhinged? I don't ever remember this many regulars just going off on each other like they do now. I do feel anxious myself lately.

I am thinking for my own sanity to take a leave for a while.

Realized i slack too much because of third monitor that i use for "background" youtube,tv shows, movies. Removed it also forced my self to working by just playing music with headphones and dimmed light.

Settings some goals for each day.
And when i feel i got too distracted do 20 pushups.

The 19th day each month is the German unofficial "tax payer day". Because we start working for our own salary, not for taxes...

Thanks so much for the cool stickers. Why do I have 2 of each though :'). Maybe for my brother who is also on devrant.

My internship is extremely boring, I've worked at a company for four days and I've only had 2 tasks which took about 15 minutes each! What should I do tomorrow?

Reverse engineering an applications internal object model and creating an database model for it...

The reason: Several versions of application exist, each deliver flat data by rest. The data is a complete potpourri of several different entities. *yaaaay*

Eg. an example fictional call (real call and data would get me in trouble I think....)

get_fiscal_report returning the fiscal data for _several_ companies, the companies _subsidiaries_ and the respective _segments_ for a _year_ with a key value enumeration.

So it's an happy fuck up of N:N associative data that usually would be a hierarchical relationship...

Year - Company
Each Company has subsidiaries
Each Company subsidiary has segments
Each segment has a fixed enumeration of keys
Each key has then the monetary value (e.g. 'operating_income' - 155_000 US-$)

Example is made up, but my data contains exactly such a lovely nested hierarchical data flattened and misnamed to a point where it's close to garbage.

Yaaaay.

I had now 6 days of untucking this mess to a usable database representation...

Sprinkling Unique Keys everywhere...

Running persist script...

Getting exceptions...

Changing associations...

Running persist script...

Screaming.

Changing associations...

Violently cursing.

Running persist script.

Starting sacrificing interns...

6 days.

I need a new brain and a format of my soul.

-.-

Reverse engineering proprietary software is really an morbid adventure.

for each($email as $stuffToDo){
if($stuffToDo === $moreCrap){
ignore();
}
}

Fuck my dumbass online college professor for forcing us to socialize with each other. Decrepit fucking cunt.

>Adds new feature
>New feature works fine on dev
>New feature works fine on staging
>New feature doesn't work on live
>You can't easily figure out what is wrong because you need to wait an hour for it each time :|

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

wk83 for me like,

The one on the left is my Colleague from work for past 3 years. We have worked with each other on a dozen projects. Tough challenges all the way.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And that thing on the right is `my friend`.

Code ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Friend

Randomly reviewing a coworker's c++ codebase revealed he was locking at the beginning of a critical section, but explicitly calling unlock for each and every error-handling branching within it. And yes, he forgot to unlock at several places.

That's just not RAIIght.

Choosing ReactNative for my project. Nothing works or compiles. Each fix breaks something. I'll go fishing...

Was wondering why my callback wouldn't run when I intended.
> console.log each iteration
> realizes it skips the goal and goes up one
> decided to cheat use greater than instead
> ACCIDENTAL RECURSION
> Oh, there's the problem
> Thinks about going to bed for the night

What's wrong with motivation?
Each time I have a great idea at work, I stop working, I search for informations and then, when I'm home, I can't motivate myself to work.

To the people who empty the coffee pots in the break room without remaking, may you get an extra nasty defect for each time you commit this heinous crime.

Coolest project I worked on was the one that let me learn to code.

It was a mobile calculator for the blind. The app counted the user's taps to come up with the number they wanted, instead of having them hover their finger around the screen to find each digit. Then each operation was mapped to a swipe gesture.

Checking for a hardcoded password and submitting User and password in a hidden Input each time.

Didn't know about Sessions back then

Almost at my company for two years, and not a single raise or compensation adjustment. No bonuses. No nothing.

I was scheduled to get something in April, but COVID hit and fucked it up for everyone.

But hey, if you're on sales you get a BONUS on top of your commission for selling a product and get a mandatory meeting every Friday that the entire company has to attend, just to jerk each other off with deals we've made.

Yes, we make a product. Yes, you are hired to sell it. We cannot live without each other. Just blows that the engineers are under appreciated, underpaid, and just not cared about.

Is there anything worse than maintaining two versions of the same application? Checking out two branches and submitting two pull requests for each and every single thing is killing my productivity. 😔

Java: each type is required being in a seperate file with the type's name, many of my projects have way to many files, half of them for really small interfaces or classes

Been watching some videos on Algorithms and my mind bleeds. Do people who know this stuff really calculate complexities for each method they write?

At work we get points each month if we don't miss work for the entire month. I have enough points to get a Canon EOS eSLR, or a new mobo-cpu-mem combo. I hate having to make desicions and choices.

Suppose devRanters were to start their own software company, what things would make that company better than others?

I mean, what things would each one of you would want to happen in that company for it to become better and even the best?

Trying to figure out why the damn error keeps appearing - then I realized I was refreshing the /Error page instead of going back to /Login for each of my tests.

I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?

I like the idea of having one hour interval between rant posting for letting more exposure for each rant.
It's a fucking brilliant idea.
@dfox chappeau my Genius.
thanks.

If I got a dollar for each time I did well in an online contest, I would be poor as fuck.
like very intense fuck.

The flipside of too much googling for each and every API references is that one fails to answer simple interview questions..

When you were clever and improved the data quality of the address database by using your companies web service in a batch job for 10M records just to find out that each call costs 10 cents...

After each correct answer I get for my Java Script Course

When "Programmers" don't understand how something as simple as git works.

>Do they keep whole repository in a zip file for each commit? Having made 100 commits is there 100 zips with all the files? or is each commit additive to the first commit. so that 1 zip with all the files you just get files added or removed based on what commit you are downloading?

Stuff like this makes me cry.....
-commit 1GB file
-commit another 1GB file
Repo is now 3GB? Seems legit right?

When four issues get assigned to four different developers and the analysis and the proposed fix for each is a change to a single class file that has been locked by a fifth developer.

If I had a penny for each time I've seen someone hating on Electron without considering why it's popular, I'd be a billionaire.

My friend and i once found our school district's admin panel for everything related to networks in each and every school of the district...

Today I found out we have 5 different Customer databases, one for each product area. We don't have access to more than 2 of them, while corp. it central has full access, but we have to beg and pay to see our own customers....
Now i'm tasked with integrating all these into a Customer db. and the way i get access is cobolt made, fixed length csv files and it's different for each db.
FML

Spent all morning debugging a script I wrote to compare 2 CSVs of tables from 2 different dbs.

It generates a unique key for each row using the data.

For some reason couldn't match 1 in each...

After all morning of debugging and scrutinizing the data in the dbs itself... I found the root cause....

One for loops in the program skips the first entry...

Feeling the pressure of writing back-end code for a golang microservice, after a year of fulltime front-end developement. Each commit feels like you're close to cause a bomb to detonate.

I think devRant portrait should add one more skin colour, #fff, for us from far North where the sun is gone for 4 months each winter

Google really fucked up with localization for Flutter!
We need to create a getter for each translated string? For real!!

Please tell me I understood it wrong :|

Gotta love it when you try out a different VS Code extension for a specific language and then on each autoformat, more and more spaces get inserted.
IT LIVES!

It’s always hard for me to get up and start coding each morning, but once I do I always feel good about the work I’m doing.

I will learn java, c#, python and swift in udemy in 6months... purchase the courses, started , only did hello world for each course, never came back

Company had problematic client projects that each client has a bucket load of change requests. Company doesn't know how to say "No" to them. Company can't afford to pay the subvendors for the changes and the subvendors aren't willing to do them for free.

I went in, reverse engineer the shit out of each application, database, system, documented my own findings, changed according to each client request. This involves editing tables in MSSQL, rerouting PHP files, adding field and validations in C#, passing parameters in VB to Crystal Report, and managed every change request into my own personalize ticket system (that the company does not have).

Saved the company, everyone was grateful. A couple of months later, the company hasn't paid my salary on time, I left like a boss.

They're in shit again and need my help. Haha!

hey do you know if there is a JavaScript libary for naming newly created files acording to user convention? Instead of "Unamed file".
Like [DATE]_[0000]_[NAME]_[SIZE].[Filetype] --> 20210708_0001_Pictureofme_1000x1000.jpg

There is a brand new service of the swiss post office that scans all your mail. But in the app it says only "unnamed document" for each new letter.
I'd like to suggest them, that you can set up a naming convention for each new pdf to my liking.
thank you 🙂

The feeling when you're in the zone for some important tasks and your coworkers just come and seat besides your table, start bullshitting each other with their flights delay stories. I wish there is a dismiss button for this kind of occasions.

Currently working on an inventory system. I have main, Side, local and premium items. And I also have inventory slot lists for each type. My Lists are called:
MainSlots
SideSlots
LocalSlots
PremiumSlots.

I grin everytime I type it out...

So, second day at work...

I was up at 5:45. Made it here by 7:35, and will probably be leaving at 17:00.

I honestly hate my job (and I've only been here for 2 days), I hate, absolutely HATE having to spend one and a half to two hours in my car each day.

It feels like I've been job hunting for the past 9 months - one of the reasons for leaving was to fight through traffic each day... and I still somehow seemed to have drawn the short straw.

I am slowly but surely losing my passion for being a developer. Something I thought would never happen. I love what I do - or so I thought. But at the moment...

Daily wtf:
Got my new bt headphones. Went to work and plugged my bt stick in the PC. Paired them and double clicked on volume control. Each time i clicked ubuntu froze for 30 sec.

I've learned GNU Make
I've also wasted several days writing a makefile for a project consisting of multiple assemblies each being one of a few types. (Shared object, executable, assetlib, beverage)

With 182 compile errors management wants the new build out by Monday morning but neglect to say this until end of day Saturday. They also knew for a week or better that they were going to enforce the deadline on each team.

> wanting to add an embed google maps to a website I'm working on for fun, with React
> Check the API documentation, excepted their iframe they create from your needs, not much info about how to set in a a js framework
> decide to check if anyone has already created something with React
> They did! 1 american dude, one polish, one last from idk where
> The rest is basic doc so let's try each of them
> Errors, errors everywhere
> Screens stays awefully white
> Spend 2 hours checking, checking and checking again each library
> Each of them have a different problem
> Fuck this, let's copy the iframe thingy from Google's doc, adapt 1 or 2 things because of React and run npm
> Google maps works on first try

According to SimilarWeb, Bing has more than 1 billion visits each month which means that millions of people do not find what they are looking for...

Someone has to stop this madness!

OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.

Just got told by our designer that I was wrong about the "mobile first" approach when designing web applications. She insisted that creating unique pages for each platform was the best way.

I must have missed that memo.

Programming deeply inspired me before it became my day job. Before Facebook conquered the front-end and API code space. Before Electron apps. Before D. Trump became president. Each of those dealt a hit to either my passion for dev or motivation to create software for others

Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.

Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!

When moment when you hopelessly keep reading each line, in hope that you will find that special line that is causing the bug, for almost 4 days...

and you finally find it 😆

I just joined a new company.
Their CI pipeline is to give root access to staging and prod servers to every developer in the company and the manually git pull each repository (8-10 repos per server) and manually set nginx and port configurations. And if this wasn't enough, all of the 30 sites they have are basically the same site and they make the changes manually for each tenant (no env file). I'm amazed at how hard some people are willing to work.

Reading about micro services and they sort of sound like mini APIs wrapped by individual HTTP servers.

But if all the APIs need to send requests to each other wouldn't the overhead from just making the connections for each request add up and be huge?

Make awesome generic function that covers any case. Get told by PM its too generic and to write something for each case >.>

xamarin forms sucks..
Everytime I want some widget or something even simple, they tell me to use custom renderers (write it natively on each platform)..

so, how is that supposed to be cross-platform..
after all, like I always said, to use xamarin efficiently, you must have good knowledge on native development for each platform

When McDonald's janitors are writing code...

Dev1: *creates a MR*
Code: for each HTTP request do

// stuff
Executors.newFixedThreadPool(validators.size()); // effectively meaning will start 7 new threads for each incoming request
// other stuff

Dev2: ^^ ??? Fix that shit. This will cause performance problems.

Dev1: *updates the code*
Code:

// stuff
int THREAD_NUMBER = 10;
Executors.newFixedThreadPool(THREAD_NUMBER);
// other stuff

Everyone: 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Can I BE facepalming any more?

I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes

Anyone run into the HR app called taleo when applying for jobs? It is so bad. Apparently each company has a different database so you have to re-enter all of your employment info each time you apply for a job at a company that uses taleo. Unless desperate I don't apply for jobs that use taleo.

You've got the perfect architecture lined up, a great idea about how to transition and you're about to start refactoring. Then it hits you. You've got 10 clients running your code in production and you'll have to migrate their data to the new structures, from the blob to each new microservice datastore. For each release. FML.

Graphs and clustering changed my perception of the world. I caught myself thinking of random shit in clusters and edges, and now I realized I have been doing this for a while.

•I caught myself thinking the following a few minutes ago:

While taking a shower, for unexplained reasons, I started visualizing different groups of friend’s throughout my life and how their connection/relationship to its group (centroid AKA leader) had a significant influence on how each individual behaved. After doing this for five groups - I proceeded to label them in classes of behaviors and noticed why each friend behaved a certain way. Wtf right? 😂

when your IT policy means that you have to submit a tech request for each nuget package you know you're in for a long day

When my teacher says that you have to produce variable lists for each variable in your program, stating the name, type and what they're used for, if you're coding in Java, you know you're fucked with 16 classes of swing GUI...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP OVERUSING STYLES.XML IN ANDROID.

It is NOT A GOOD IDEA to create a new style for each and every layout and then RANDOMLY reuse those styles in RANDOM places.

Grep is working around the clock to solve this fucking hot mess you've made.

FFS

I have been discussing for quite a while now in a WhatsApp group what IDE is better, IntelliJ vs Eclipse. I personally prefer IntelliJ, for a lot of reasons. But what is your opinion, what are the pros/cons of each IDE for you?

Working on a webpage. Using Flexbox for a 1-column layout. Now I need to display two Divs next to each other and I regret every lifechoice.
Why is it such an impossible task to put two divs in perfect alignment next to each other. Why oh lord have thou forsaken me.

Someone on my team created roles for each button.
If that button is not part of your role it will show an error.

Error you don't have access to this button.

* vacation + flight mode

* being VERY clear thay each interaction with you will significantly prolong your delivery time, hence next time your estimates will be artificially increased to compensate for such disturbances [think like 2days to change a button color instead of 20 minutes]

This developer has an media query break point for each style 912 break points. 304 desktop, 304 mobile, and 304 tablet break points. With 18000 line style sheet.

Open for all.
Below are 4 sets of numeric data. Each set carries two numeric strings. Each occur in a pattern and each set below are n'th terms of the pattern. Each set equals to the value 50. The value of 50 can be obtained from either the first or the second string or even both.
Find a next term or even a n'th term of the pattern.
sets -
{ 738548109958, 633449000001000435 } , { 667833743011, 65173000001000838 } , { 314763556877, 652173000001000685 } , { 332455491545 , 65216100000100411 }
You will be rewarded
You will not fail

I have 10 days off remaining for this year... Basically 2 effective weeks...

What should I do:
A) 2 week holiday
B) 2 x single week
C) carryover to 2021 for maybe real holiday
D) a day for each week

Choose wisely 😆 It's my effin holiday 🤦‍♂️

There's a 3 Lane street and 2 self driving cars are in the middle Lane but heading for each other.

What do they do so they don't crash?

What if they can't brake?

I think UPS' Api documentation and service must be the worst documented and build API I have ever seen from a corporate.

1. The developer website is a mess. A total mess. You can barely find the API type you are looking for.

2. When you get the API and download the documentation, the files, .pdf etc is still a mess. Pages long that most are craps.

3. Each request returns Status Code 200. Even if it is an error. This blew my mind.

4. Each request, based on error type or based on tracking activity returns different JSON schema.

For example, the JSON Schema for a shipment in transit is different from JSON schema for a shipment that has been delivered. A shipment that has been returned, a shipment that required signature etc. They are different from each other.

5. And the worst. They do not provide with test tracking codes. I have found some on internet, but they do not work in development and production environment.

I don't care about God's existence but somehow I'm meeting the deadlines always. It's a new thing for me.
I have stopped paying attention to my work due to interviews and somehow my work performance is getting better and better each day.
All I needed was to work less and give estimation according my mood each day.

The web dev front-end world is insane!!

webpack, babel, node, npm, sass, css, postcss, javascript, cypress etc etc.

It should be easier and easier to build web apps NOT harder and harder for each year!

rant.type = feature.request
We should be able to select up to 5 (for example) shirts, shoes... And have the app equip random one each day.

!rant

Someone ask me this today,

"Just out of curiosity, those people have split personality are equivalent 2 people in a body right? Will they get double pay for each personality ??? Because they are hiring two people in a body , right ""

We use Slack at work for IMs.

There are tons of threads created in each DM, group chat, and channels.

There is a purpose to each thread.

But.. BUT.... Engineering team responds to a thread and also sends the same message in channel.

What's the fucking point of the thread...

FUCKING STOP SPAMMING WITH DUPLICATE MESSAGES.

I have a cup of green tea in my hand right now and I feel like pouring it on myself.

Third tier geniuses from Timbuktu.

Xcode and xamarin! Been busy for weeks to get the ios app aligned in each screen

When you go for a demo to your execs and your low-resolution projector screws up each and every part of your website. #screwed

!Rant
How do you all store photos on your site?
Personally, I setup a unique directory for each users, user table has directory name column and every photos that they upload are store in there. Any other ways?

This is probably a standard pattern/algorithm, but I feel pretty good about myself figuring this out.

I was doing a programming challenge and found myself with 2 lists of integer points (x,y). I needed to see where the points converged and identify those locations. Of course I started with a brute force approach and did nested loops to find these locations. This was taking WAY TOO LONG. These lists were 200K each. So checking with naive looping is 200K * 200K operations. Which is a lot.

Then I thought, well I am checking equality, so I will create a third map. The index to the map will be the point, and the data will be an integer. I then go through each list once incrementing the integer for each point that exists in each respective list. Any point with a value greater than 1 is a point convergence.

Like I said, this has got to be a standard thing, so can someone tell me what algorithm this is? I am not sure how to search for this.
I am fuzzy on complexity notation but I think the complexity started at n^2 and was reduced to n. Each list is cycled over once.

2am, saving to post later because limit

I want to see a cartoon about a rabbit 🐰 and a frog 🐸 hating each other and constantly fighting over who’s a better jumper and they enter a jumping competition that is very tough for both of them and they somehow begin respecting each other over time

I love froggos. I want a pet froggo 🐸

A colleague went on vacation, as the lead mobile engineer I had to cover his work. Switching between iOS dev and Android dev usually is fun. Integrated and deployed a dozen tickets for each platform within 12hrs.

That feeling when you have to rebuild and redeploy project for the third time in a row because java can't map Swedish letters. About 20mins for each try.

They told me Xamarin Forms could create an app for many platforms
They didn't tell me that the Forms extensions for APIs would not work at all with the Android extensions, iOS extensions and I would need to reinstall them for each platform
They didn't tell me that at the end, I have to write individual code for each platform.
I was promised an all-in-one toolkit. I'm just writing code for Android and iOS apps, PLUS forms
I can't even find a reliable PDF generator for this. Documentations are outdated and don't work, either that, for it takes a million steps to generate a PDF file

Do you think Facebook developed different " stories" for each platform . Or just copy paste the code !?
U know .. WhatsApp , Instagram, messenger, FB .

y'know what's ironic? people rush over things and avoid meetings, documentation or just speaking to each other, all for the sake of productivity, not realizing that's what destroys the team

devRant let me post in every 2 hours. And I can reply as many time as I want.. but reddit wants me to wait for 10 mins for each reply

Lets take onlyfans system for example. They have fans and creators. How is database models supposed to be structured? Whats the correct way.

1) a User model that contains all users of all roles, but differentiates them by Role ENUM

2) a separate Fan and Creator model, each having their own unique attributes, while each extending an abstract base User model class that has all the common attributes that both models should use

The 1st approach is simple but gets very large and difficult to maintain and view all the attributes cluttered in 1 class. Not to mention how some attributes will never be used for a user who registered as a Fan.

2nd approach is more modular and easier to understand and maintain by knowing exactly what attributes to put for each model. However problems occurs when you try to join tables and stuff start to become overengineered

Pretty tired, plus working on something that at some point needs 4 or 5 for loops inside each other

End result: for (i=0; k<=Nspecies; ++j)

Mhkay time for coffe

Actually good and free pdf generation for each and every language.

Preferably from html and it should understand css3 standards as well as js

That SATISFACTION u get after finally fixing a bug which has been irritating the shit outta u for 2 fucking hours!! Just had to figure out a correct timeline for my stupid android chain animations so that the views do not screw up each other's animations!

I hate meetings where we watch other teams yank each other’s dicks for an hour. We get it, you love your team. I don’t care. I have shit to do guys.

My debugging skills are as good as the bus I take for going to college. Only one thing is operating each hour.

@dfox: is it just my Android device or is it the app that new sentences don't automatically start with a capital while typing. Kind of frustrating to manually press shift for each new line. Or am I just a little bit spoiled?

If only there was a way for the peeps who listed 'new job for 2018' to congregate and motivate each other 🙋

I think critical time sensitive situations and windows updates are made for each other.🥰

Stuck on 1 website project for 2 months. Client is making changes to the project each time we go and have meeting with them.

GM be like, we will do it for free as part of our service.

What the fuck?

Fuck all those special snowflake npm packages who each implement their own incomprehensible documents format and even make an ugly ass website full of lies for it.

Next to JavaScript, this is the biggest reason why I hate frontend development with a passion.

While while is still useful sometimes, all hope is lost for for.
For each for each that I use, I love it more and more.

When I'm not busy at work I've been spending my time studying on w3schools to get certified in HTML, CSS and JS development. Are these certs really worth It? Will they help me in the future enough to pay $95 for each one?

It's the third time in two weeks that I've updated something and caused it to break. Different packages and different projects each time. Each time I've updated at night and tested it and made sure everything was okay only to be woken up in the morning by complaining customers and a newfound bug. Better lay off the updates for now.

Dear Instagram, please don’t send me a notification for each message deleted by my contacts.

Sincerely,
a user with a bad friend who deletes messages in bulk.

Ohh! These python beginners ; and sudden use of python for each and every problem!

Image you fire 10 resumes each day. No reply. Image you do 2 interviews each day. Got rejected. Image you cold email 10 companies. No reply. Life is meaningless and useless. Looking for job atm, pm me if you have one. The thing I can do is do side projects and keep applying. Life is sucked.

PATH TOO LONG
FUCK WINDOWS
it has gigs and gigs and asks for more but in the end, it's geological layers of shit on top of each other, turtles all the way down and the last one stands over DOS

Honestly, nothing. I'm just a human. I know I will fail multiple times, over and over. I allow myself to do that, learning and taking precautions for each new failure.

Business managers not taking ownership for quality of data. If systems are not designed with proper data validation controls at each upstream data entry point them downstream processes and revenue will suffer. You will have a continuous data cleanup black hole.

What about a slack group for sharing blogs, repos etc with each other? Who's in?

Gitlab boards with swimlanes for each project

I wanted to fix ugly unittests of parser's function that uses some shitty workaround instead of intended unittest.mock.mock_open, but it turns out mock_open cannot mock different content for each file. Cause you know, noone needs it anyway.

How I envision the package maintainer for gstreamer, every time they're getting ready to push updates, knowing that the end user will have to spend the next 35 minutes in front of their bash console, watching each package build...