EVERY ... FUCKING ... BLOODY ... PROJECT!!

It has been a nightmare after the other!

A doctor heals, a gardener plants, a baker makes some bread, a driver brings you to a location, only IT is nonsense in the most use cases.

Maybe I will switch one day to another and more useful job which makes more sense

f*** my company (80 people) was aquired today by the biggest telecom company in Switzerland. At least we can still work under our own brand more or less independently for now. What drives me crazy is that I land again in the same company where I was in my apprenticeship and have sworn not to return due to the size of the company (20k employees)!

tbh: writing status reports which were never read again!

Coolest but probably most unnecessary feature in the dev world: A whitespace (programming language) to Java bytecode transpiler. Well I kinda started, but never finished actually due to lack of motivation to really finish it. At least the Parser and Interpreter were fully functional.

Do you have ever tried to recover a very valuable shredded stack of paper (4 sheets)? They are shredded into A LOT OF PIECES and not stripes as I hoped for!!

After 5 hours work I have found 15 pieces which fit together! I am so pissed about myself and my incompetence when it comes to data cleaning 😡😠🤬

I had to start over learning SQL when I faced the JSON functions of PostgreSQL during a try and error period to get nested json_agg in one query.. I'am too old for that low level stuff! 🤨

The best estimations are the team based estimations. Do a planning poker, but don't agree on the average or median, just sum up all the estimations! 😉

I bypassed SSL certificate verification because that goddam certificate had some flags which my JVM did not understand and threw errors. Still in prod after 10+ years 🤐

wtf boss,? what do you want? say it loud and clear!

hmm I just slip into a depressive phase because of my workplace 😐 I can't handle the pressure somehow.. I think I am a bad teamlead, I am not made for this

I am too lazy to automate a task from which I suffer each month one or two hours (for the last 7 years).. Automation would cost me only one or two hours at most!

IT is so violent and disturbing when it comes to technical terms in relation to clusters:

- master / slave
- master / master / witness (crime scene?)
- splitbrain (how does that look in reality?)
- stonith (shoot the other node in the head)
- deadtime (no heartbeat)
- slicing (wtf?)
- shard (do they kill with that?)
- active / passive (sex scene?)
- single point of failure (at least they know who is to blame)
- share nothing / shared all (dictators vs communism)

😯

"Oh hey, your code is a perfect showcase, may I show it to collegues?"

"Sure, but why so?"

"For demonstrating how to do it NOT!"

An ape produces better code typing randomly on the keyboard than you do when you try your best!

!dev

FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML

Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!

A long and stressful week is over, and I missed my train back home, so I went to read a microhistory (beer).

Enjoy your weekend devs and ranters!

What bothers me here in that delicious and excellent community:

Why I am the fucking last person who is able to rant about anything? 🤯

My life as a dev has its ups and downs, but nothing really worth a rant! 🤔

Questions around Openshift:

My company is actually triying to find out if Openshift is a thing out in the developers world. We are currently (finally) investing some money in container architectures. But are quite unsure if Openshift is a real thing out there. So my questions:

For how long are you building Openshift application PODs and why?

Or alternatively: Do you know a good source of up to date surveys around the container world, or do you know who can do good and usable surveys in that kind of area?

To be honest: Firefox.

I use it every day since version 3. And a piece of software which has so much competitors and can withstand my urge to change is my winner

ɥʇᴉʍ ʎɐld oʇ unɟ sᴉ uʍopǝpᴉsdn

One of our dev team had the task to do a bulk operation for thousands of objects.
So time passes by and they implemented it. But in acceptance testing they found out that this operation takes 4 minutes for 50 objects. This is not what we call high performant when we talk about 20000 objects per bulk operation 🤔

Well, their PO asked them to solve that performance issue. And guess what, they decided on their own that the issue can be solved to reduce the bulk to 20 items so that it only takes 2 mins to run!

Really guys, is that the best you can come up with?! 😲🤬

Every time we have finished a project and deployed it the first time at least half of the components are outdated already 😒 Even if we worked only 2 weeks on something.

I hate Murphy's law!

Best advice so far: "KISS: Keep It Simple and Stupid"

That works every time because your design of the code will be understandable. Your code must seldom to be refactored. You aren't that asshole who never comment and document anything. And the most important part: The code works as designed without flaws!

Just last week: My task was doing 3840x2160 screenshots on a 1920x1080 screen 😉
My luck was that it was for a web application. So I found out for Firefox:
Ctrl+F2 (opens Firefox cli)
```resize to 1920 1080
screenshot --fullpage myfilename.png --dpr 2```

the --dpr param was doing the trick for resizing the screen to pixel ratio from 1:1 to 1:2

The longer I live, the longer I am unsure what the meaning of my life is.

TLDR; 42

Yes I am a creative person in a way that I can create something out of nothing, but unfortunately all my work is almost invisible. Is the meaning of a developer guy to be a magician? He does something and *wooosh*
//magic happens here
there is a thing which he forgot how it works within a month. Why can't I just talk about my work with other people than those from the IT business? I don't think to be that important, but sometimes it appears that without you and me nothing will really work nowadays.

And to be honest with you guys, I am too slow. I can adapt new concepts and new programming languages, but I feel like getting overruned by all that new stuff appearing each day. Am I supposed to be that super hero named"superbrain"? Is that still healthy?

wtf, my life is a miracle, an oracle and a hurricane (and some times it is even great)!

I am confused!

Junior dude in my team: Started working with the expectation to get dirty and go deep into technology (he was in fact a mathematician). The first two months he was happy like a little puppy playing around. Then suddenly he started talking about getting more responsibilities and beeing more a manager than a dev (because development is too stressful). Then on his last day of the probation period he quit out of nowhere because he got a job offer from a place he really wanted to go. He bought one beer per person in my team, but haven't invited my boss to that event. We suddenly realize why: He talked real shit about him!

What a dick!

How should I store API keys in the backend database in a secure manner? I can't fucking getting my head around and internet is somehow not really a help to find a secure and fast way to store API keys.

It is a requirement that the key identifies the corresponding user in way. We tried to do it with bcrypt and different salts, but that means very poor performance when we have to encrypt each incoming request to check what user corresponds to the cleartext key. My best guess was to use sha512 and a configurable salt on application server side (one for all users to at least have an unknown part in database).

Burn down my burn down!

No really, get a better work life balance again.

Ages ago, it was still in the last millenium which will not end soon at that point of tine, I had a 10MB HDD in my first computer. It was a gift and second hand, and DOS 3.2 was installed on it, and my younger self, unable to talk or write english, had that cool game on it (Pitfall, if I remember correctly). But that game was not enough, so I tried to enter all the filenames in all the folders to find other games on that machine. Some commands were ther which I have not understand correctly, and one of them was 'format'. Typed in 'format' and pressed enter, an error message appears that I have to enter a drive letter as argument. Because I had known only A: for the floppy drive and C: for the HDD i tried at first with the floppy. Nothing happens, vecause there was no disk in the drive. Then I entered C: ...

Poof, everything deleted...

I was unable to setup that pc again and my so beloved game was gone also.. still sad about it, because that machine would be a real treasure today but it is gone a long time ago.