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The best prank played in our office was an AutoHotkey script that changed the space character to actually print the word 'space' in all caps.
The next message in Hipchat from the victim was: "WhatSPACEtheSPACEfuck!SPACEMySPACEkeyboardSPACEisntSPACEworking!"
The next time this prank was pulled, ALL symbols were typed out in all caps.1 -
I just found new band called "localhost". They recently published their new album named "127.0.0.1" with an awesome song "It works on my machine".
It's awesome :D9 -
That time when you search for a bug and find same question at StackOverflow, GitHub and Quora...
All from the same person, and all with no answer.. 😓🐜6 -
My collegue:
- Is it file.php or file_new.php that are in use?
If you could take the time to learn git then we wouldn't have these questions all the time.4 -
When you start smiling at rants all the time and your family and friends think you got a new girlfriend8
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Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...
This is literally the reason we use git.
No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...
Dahhhhh19 -
What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte!
You've probably already heard this one but if not and your a LoTR fan, your welcome.
Note: 40% of the time this works all the time as a pickup line.
6 -
SO: How to ... in JavaScript?
Answer: use jQuery!
SO: How to ... in JavaScript without jQuery?
Answer: use jQuery!
Me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I hate j-f*cking-query, I don't want to learn it!!15 -
When you realize you're spending all your time on a skill set that would be 100% useless in the apocalypse....7
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Dark Theme / Light Theme,
Java / C++,
Young / Old,
Proprietary / Open Source...
We're all devs and whatever holiday or time in the year it is for you right now in your country have a great time.
I love you all :)9 -
QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.
*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*4 -
I spend a night in the woods from time to time. 🏕️ It really gets you grounded and helps to take a step back on all those dev / work related issues.
9 -
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
This happens to me all the time at my new company, the amount of wtfs I say in some js files, man...
1 -
I went to bed early... Got a strange feeling the next morning... It felt like what other people describe as 'good'.7
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Joined devRant a week ago...I use it almost all the time... Can't even think about uninstalling it...It feels like all my brothers in arms are here....I love this new home.3
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Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.
1 -
Best decision ever was to have my phone muted all the time. My overall stress levels went down significantly. I encourage you to try the same. At first is kinda weird as you actually miss the fuss o having your phone vibrating or ringing all the time, but then all you have is peace.10
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Thanks to all the sys admins and devs keeping the internet up and running through the holidays. It's a crazy time of year and I'm sure it only means more work for a lot of you at an already stressful time. So thanks again for being the glue holding it all together; we really appreciate your work 🍻
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Finally made the switch. Full-time Linux everywhere! I figured out that all games I play already have Linux support since some time^^
And it feels good! So fast *_*3 -
My code!
Looking at the previous version of my code, pushes me to write a better one! All the time!1 -
It is time to hide all the Easter eggs in your apps!
I wonder what easter egg will be in the devRant app🤔10 -
Today for the 4th time I explained to my colleague that just because the front end app can perform validation doesn't mean the backend shouldn't. Every fucking time for all of them.8
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The first time i made my own electron app, and saw it working and displaying live data the exact way i wanted it to be doing it.
At the same time, it was the first time i felt like been a real dev in all meanings. -
Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.5
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Today my RAID system for backups crashed. Three hard drives died all the same time. This day cannot get even worse.14
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My first times today:
First time a droplet on Digital Ocean.
First time Nginx.
First time trying to separate mail and website servers.
First time using UFW firewall.
First time Ubuntu webserver.
First try all alone configuration of my webserver.
First time installing all the stuff I need on my own, like MySQL, PHP and so on.
First time only SSH access from the beginning.
First time deployment from bitbucket.
Do you have any advise what I should think about. Or what software I will need. Or what I should think about.45 -
I feel like a man out of time and space.
I can work from anywhere so I am nowhere.
I work all the time, and I have no time to work.
Hours, days, and weeks. They all feel the same. The gentle barrier of sleep that denotes when one day ends and another begins is barely remembered if observed at all.
What the fuck did I sign up for.4 -
Tutorials w examples that don't even work. Would run into these all the time back in my Flash days, so frustrating.2
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Sent another developer instructions for generating an SSH key pair and to send me the public key. He did so. There was a problem getting it to work. So, naturally, he emailed me the private key.1
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Spent 1 hour "debugging". All this time I was running the old executable. Realized, took a deep breath, ran the new executable; everything was working properly. I love my life.
This is how you waste time, buddies! 😓4 -
Is anyone else abusing the Windows 10 start menu search as command prompt? 'cause I do, all the time.14
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The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!
Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week! -
That feeling when you start being really productive without checking the documentation all the time.
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I would spend all the unlimited time starting multiple exciting projects and never finishing any of them.4
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I recently got a notification that said "the are 590 new rants since your last visit" or something like that.
At the time that I got that notification the last time I logged on was only a day or two ago. And I'm not even subbed to that many people!
You all need to chill the fuck out. It shouldn't be healthy for you all to be this angry all the damn time.1 -
"Don't try to memorize everything, after you've coded for a while you'll start remembering it, even the best devs Google shit ALL THE TIME."3
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My use of linux could legally drink now, in the US. And even after 21 years, I still love it more all the time.2
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As DevOps it’s my duty to make sure these excuses no longer exist. Software should just work everywhere all the time
3 -
I've been asked to work a Sunday next weekend; and like an idiot I agreed. Wasting a beautiful summer day inside designing software for a company to push more fast food product and contribution to obesity and diabetes in the world.
This is my life, and I hate it here. I hate this industry. In my 15 years, I once took off for 11 months and lived out of two bags through Asia and Europe. I spent 5 months with just a car driving across America. It's fun, but non-sustainable and I had to find a job afterwards both times.
I need a way out of this cycle. I need to contact professors and get letters of recommendation and get into a PhD program (I have a masters already), but finding the time after exhausting days at work is .. well .. exhausting.
The most I can do after work is go hang out with friends or do something, but if I come straight home, I just fall asleep. I'm tired all the time.6 -
You give up romancing for some time because you're tired of getting mixed signals all the time. Decide to focus on programming instead and then shit like this happens:
3 -
Female : how hardcore aye you ?
Me : I clear all notifs in devRant even if it is 99+ all the time
Female : wow, lets get laid already3 -
"Don't waste your time reinventing the wheel, just use *random CMS or framework*"
I understand that I will never have all the time to do every projets from scratch, because of deadlines, clients, employers... But I was still a student when I've been told that.
And I never felt that I was wasting my time because I wanted to better understand what I was doing.
And I hate CMS. All of them.1 -
Can I just say, this community is awesome. All Dev talk, all the time. It's like Facebook but not complete s***!
PS: UK Dev rant meet up has to go down. We can't have the yanks outdoing us.6 -
Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"5 -
Hey fuckface!
Do you know we have console.error("...") ?
You don't have to do console.log("Error 1") all the time.9 -
Finally had the time to implement that feature I wanted all the time. Testing now and everything works just fine again. Very suspicious.
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Killed the backend production db of my app with a dev ops guy for 20 hours.
The emails I received were not the nicest of all time.1 -
🎶Lemon Tree🎶
I wonder why,
I wonder how,
This stupid piece of code actually works right now.
And all that I could see, it's actually compiling...
(Happens all the time)1 -
Am I the only one who doesn't know where foo bar came from? I see it all the time but have no clue :/3
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fuck time zones and time changes, why the fuck we don’t have one time on the planet and one date that is just day.
No month, no years - all the complexity would be gone, day wouldn’t have 24 hours but it would be something more precise, there won’t be a second
time that earth goes around sun is
365,25964 days
31558432896 milliseconds
we should start count time differently so it’s not relative in space time continuum, what should be relative is the mass38 -
GMT/UTC
IST
ACST
CST
PST
.
.
.
.
.
Man Fuck time zones, I don't even know where I belong anymore while keeping track of all of them at once.
Fuck You In The Ass Time Zone3 -
I want an IDE that has a filter that highlights all recently made changes. Like you can pick the hour/time range and then it'll highlight all the things that were changed. That'd be great12
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Anytime I have to Google something. Which is all the time. I doubt myself all the time. Also, when coding our robot and it randomly shot backwards and ripped through a couple table and chair legs. That happened too.2
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FINALLY, all my dreams have come true, now I can totally say I don't really miss Linux all that much (although I work with Linux all the time, as all my VMs are on Ubuntu).
Obviously, Microsoft has a port of the ssh client and server on windows.
28 -
When, for the 100th time, you see the git commit comment:
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" -
In all development first 90% takes half the time and last 10% takes the other half. Jeez almost done wait for it
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I always hate that part of the project where you finish all the coding and start trying to deploy into production for the first time.6
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Got a Yubikey today. Seems like a really cool bit of kit. Time to nerd out and 2FA all the things.2
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Wearing headphones all the time and deliberately ignore everything what's being said & is happening in the office unless it affects my work1
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This node.js stuff had better be worth all the preaching I hear about here.
Time to build some web applications! :D
2 -
Me as a dev most of the time:
✓ great project idea
✓ create a skeleton for the project
✓ gather all the info needed
❌ Time to do the actual work on my project
Leave it for months unattended
Randomly write 5-10 lines of code3 -
Hello devranters,
After a long time here.
What's happening in this coolest part of the world?
What all I missed!!!!1 -
Spent all day refactoring lots of confusing code down to just a few lines. I am satisfied, frustrated and drained all at the same time.2
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Why do we never talk about angular? It was way ahead all the time. Like you got all these nice things with Vue 3 and React 42, but bro angular got it all for years..
It feels so nice learning it.7 -
I got a job without trying very hard... Unless your consider all the time I spend coding hobby projects trying.3
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using ssh over terrible internet speeds, spends all the time trying to figure out the cursor position3
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Some days I feel hungry all the time. Like today. Other days I don’t feel hungry at all even if I’ve eaten nothing.5
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Why printer services is stuck in time?
The windows printer spooler is old like my grandma. He fuck all the time but nobody wants to recode it ? I need to search for old driver a day long to make it fucking work at 10%
On linux generic printer driver do the job but cannot do all the things you want
Why is so fucking complicated all the time ? ( Don't think that scanner work you don't have de correct driver )
Solutions printer share the code for how de fuck i work ?2 -
Every time we have finished a project and deployed it the first time at least half of the components are outdated already 😒 Even if we worked only 2 weeks on something.
I hate Murphy's law! -
Time to annoy @kiki :)
the first 4 tabs are pinned. All the remaining ones are not. Chrome after its latest update
12 -
some days are very frustrating , i had a task today in which client want a page where he can add bulk of car details on the same page.
now jquery fucked me.
I want to do something to release stress. Why do I get stuck at shitty problems sometimes ?
Damn I'm a noob programmer4 -
How much is your max up-time on raspberry pi?
Can it survive being on all the time? The board seems not made out of premium stuff3 -
I watched the movie 'happy deathday' today. It really isn't a horror movie but I was thinking of version control the whole time.
The point where she wakes up all the time is the master branch and the different days she experiences are different branches.3 -
I always want to work on a bazillion side-projects but don't have enough time because college, work, etc. Now that I have all the time in the world to work on side-projects I have zero motivation and just waste my time on YouTube.
This sucks.9 -
Today is the birthday of Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time. In India, we celebrate his birthday as Engineers' day. Happy Engineers' day to all engineers here!1
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When explaining unit testing:
"We tried but every time someone changes something in the database all the tests fail."
*facepalm*5 -
When you are wasting your time trying to make sense of 15000 different approaches for the same task...
and all those github repos are 3 years old with missing steps in the examples...
and official doc is such a mess that only a Time Lord could have the time to filter it...1 -
Github's issue reference menu can't even fit all of the duplicate issues for the one you just opened, you twat.
Stop wasting my time.1 -
I constantly get pestered by my cousin for being on my phone all of the time. He thinks I'm looking at memes (I do look at memes but who doesn't?) all of the time and other wasteful things, but in reality 3/4 of the time I'm looking at source code, tutorials or documentation. But I'll let him keep assuming. (;2
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Mini-rant
Dear HR people, if you don't provide enough info about the positions that you have at hand forget about me wasting time on call-first acknowledgements to later on realize what kind of waste of time it was!
Sure, making business connections is important but without taking into consideration the other side time is all but respectful, in a professional context.
So, balance your shit and make the call worth the time of all the parties.
Fucking thanks.1 -
I wonder if management has realized that they are the parasites that is holding the tech industry back all this time.6
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the first time I opened StackOverflow actually I think.
At least that was the first time I understood how much I still don't know about any topic at any one time.
Since then I think I was humbled enough to just assume I know nothing all the time and just being glad when I get to help someone with their problem -
I wanted to understand you but you keep making new problems all the time.
p.s. you're lagging again...
2 -
Hey all! Ironically, last time I posted here was when I got my first job in the industry. Well, two and a half months later I'm here asking all the professional devs for their opinions on this matter. So, for all you full-time working devs out there: How do you stay motivated to work on side projects during your free time?4
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I see this term “full stack developer” pop up all the time, does anyone want to explain what it means? A dev who knows all parts of the stack, and a stack is what..?7
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About getting Help.
Hey guys
I've been needing lots of Help and explanations about small electronics and Arduino stuff.
What is the best to place such questions, where we do really get answers and replies to noobs?
Or anyone here, one of the Arduino / Electronic Pros who doesn't mind handling my questions :p
Thanks47 -
Does anyone actually fucking know how certs and provisioning profiles work for large iOS teams without using the cancerous auto provision checkbox? Are we all just fucking it up all the time??3
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We have all run the same code although it didn't work the first time. And it never worked the second.😂😂
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Project managers moved all the tickets around and then got mad that we couldn't find them to log our time.
Mass mutiny about logging time in general and expected dev hours per week.
They returned the tickets to the old system at least -
I'm the reason for all I am bad at
I'm the reason for all the time wasted by me
I'm responsible for all the shit fuckery I've been doing
But I don't know how to get back at the correct path
I just don't know
Fuck me4 -
mvn clean install: all tests pass
run all tests in IntelliJ: the same 6 tests fail every time
run those 6 tests in IntelliJ: they pass
-_-4 -
Our client wants us to deploy all changes to the test server & to the production server at the same time (-___-)
So all bugs which have been founded after that should be hotfixed ASAP :/2 -
Go for a helpdesk position: Programming is to boring, just writing all the time...
What the FUCK am I trying to learn now?!3 -
I wish they would shorten the element reference method calls in js, it's just a tedious ordeal typing document.getElementByID() or getElementsByClassName() all the damn time.19
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I'm done with my current project and have literally nothing to do and I'm sleepy all the fucking time1
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The first time I got in contact with computers I apperantely sorted all of the Desktop Icons by color, since I couldn't read at the time.
The first thing I actually remember is playing this game: "Knightmare". Loved it 😍
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Already finished all my work and waiting for the rest of the team to be ready for pub lunch, so killing time on devRant.1
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Why the fuck is midnight 00:00 and midday 12:00? Every other hour is the same for Am and Pm in 12 hour time. I can’t find any explanation other than all of humanity being unable to count.
All date/time libraries must encounter this bullshit. There are so many similar levels of bullshit with everything related to time handling. Time zones, stamp formats, minimum intervals overflows are all so fucked.14 -
Really need to blog more. Tired of relearning the stuff I thought I got 3 months ago, all the time.🥺3
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Maybe "non-replaceable" batteries in phones isn't a big deal after all. By the time the battery has degraded, the glass back cover is broken for certain. It's no big deal replacing both at the same time.12
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Lol all this FUD in the tech space, and I'm over here like, damn... Maybe it's time I become a carpenter...5
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My welcome message all the time
Username userName = new Username();
userName.print("Welcome to devRant!"); -
Last day at the old workplace done ✔️
Now there's 5 weeks of freedom ahead before the new job begins. I can only advise all of you to go for one month of me-time the next time you change your job 😁 -
"It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time." Andrew Hunt & David Thomas
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Has modern day development become all rabbit holes all the time?
Seems that way to me. Tired of it.2 -
Literally unlimited? Everything buildable.
Figuratively unlimited? Games. I want to make games but they're very time consuming. If I had so much time it would seem a lot on an exponential scale I'd finally be able to make games without the feeling of wasting my precious time ruining all the fun.5 -
XSS mitigation is a pain in the ass.
After all this time, with all the brilliant developers around the world, why haven't we found a sane way to mitigate this shit by default?
Shit!8 -
'cat file | grep foo' .... For some unknown reasons, too. It sends shivers down my spine all the time
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I wish Docker had docs explaining how to migrate EXISTING projects. The pros better outweigh the cons after all this time...5
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“Everything fails all the time!”
Werner Vogels
CTO @Amazon.com
"Werner Vogels, fuck you, everywhere, all the time!"
Deviloper
Ranter @devRant -
Today one of the guys at work said
"The dev server goes down because we make changes all the time - continuous disintegration" -
Searching for an hour about an insanely obscure issue only to find any unclosed github thread is like some sadastic ending to a Twilight Zone episode.
"Picture this Chachi, a web developer caught in a web. Depending on broken dependencies, his employers depending on his broken dreams. Waiting for a page to load about issues with loading pages. Open source, or open mind? Is an issue ever really resolved? Or is a flag just checked? Picture Chachi, a web developer caught in the github zone." -
Can anyone help me in jquery?
I'm doing a loop of trigger which are 13 in count, but every trigger event contains ajax call and what my problem is that it doesn't wait for ajax response and keep hitting trigger until last trigger fires.
so I'm having my ajax response only on last one.
What can I do for this?9 -
In React-based project, "why can't we use jQuery?"
As if my disdain for jQuery as a crutch couldn't get any worse...3 -
Im not against people who game all the time, but don't you think you (gamers) are wasting your time most of the times?12
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“The search engine that doesn't track you.” I don’t think I mind when Google does that, I mean I use it all the time3
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!rant
Sometimes when i scroll through rants, i see rants that happend to me almost exactly the same. So i check the ranters profile to see if they are going to the same university as me...
Anyone with me? -
Never Ending Project
"What's make software development great?"
"What's it?"
"We must catch bugs all the time."
"Oh..."1 -
My family think I'm just looking all the day at videos and posts. And spend all my free time on internet.
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People tell me all thw time that I should use Laravel...
Sure... when Laravel supports Propel out of the box...4 -
Microsoft: literally one of the most profitable and technologically advanced corporations of all time
Also Microsoft: can’t handle a fucking livestream -
If I was supposed to make all content changes, I should have never spent time on coding the backend UX.
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Last week of the school project, I'm one of the few programmers. All of a sudden the floodgates open and everyone needs help. Where were they when I had all the time in the world?
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So why does the devrant list stays the same all the time 🤷♂️ I read those rants since monday wtf ...3
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What if you could hack devrant or go back in time and write all of the posts in the all-time section of "top rants"...
While (true) {
Rant_points = Rant_points*2
} -
Couldn’t sleep all night again... the last time this happened was 3 weeks ago.. so I’m getting better I guess..
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Working all my cores in parallel; working on multiple projects at the same time without finishing any project.2
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While I writing PHP I have to think of Haskell all the time, how nice everything would be with Haskell and I dream of the time when I can be with Haskell again. <3
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Once again spent a day MacGyvering together all the missing pieces of the app for tomorrows presentation deadline. This time the code base is 95% good code and 5% of dirty hacks which are essential for the rest to function properly.
One day I'll enough time to finish a development cycle on time. One day... -
i'm spending my time,
watching the tests go by,
failing them all,
I stare at the wall,
hoping that you won't notice them too,
i'm spending my time -
As part of mentoring folks was having a round table. All wanted tech help. lists of things to do, learning syllabus, techs to bet on, projects, promotion mantras etc etc.
I asked them how's the work. All started rating about overload and overworked. How difficult it is to find time to do anything else. It became noisy.
So asked how they will find time to do all the above without time. Do they really need mentoring on time management and prioritisation ?
Felt like my invisible tws anc headset turned ON at that moment3 -
It's time for us devranters to stop the ongoing war.
Time to love each other.
Also, why do Chinese people look like they're all cousins?8 -
Invest my time in realizing world peace, and build the first intergalactic space colonization seed ship... All with help of the said a.i.
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std::cout from C++.
Why? Because I use it all the time, can't live without it.
Sometimes the most important pieces of code is the simplest. -
Coworker who ignored a closed door (like everyone does, but all had been warned) for the umpteenth time.
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You know in the end we all keep taking shit because we’re not helping one another and because half the world is unclean and disconnected but mostly because we all get more and more frightened about what is next a fear which grows with time and is encouraged by people taking what a another person worked for or poisoning the well time
And time again
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