Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.

Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.

Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP

Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS

Interviewer: Tell me why should I hire you?
Me: Because that's your job

Yes, i'm a programmer
No, I do not install windows and drivers
No, I don't know what is the best laptop for you
No, I don't know why your internet is lagy
I'm sorry, I'm just a programmer

Stop making fun of different programming languages

C is fast
Java is popular
Ruby is cool
Python is beautiful
Haskell is Intriguing
Javascript is ________

I'm so glad that I got a CS degree learning Data Structures, Algorithms, Operating systems, Databases, Linear Algebra, Software Engineering, Networking and many more...

How else would I have been able to center a div with CSS or change the Background color?

Normal person in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- patiently waits
- gets out

Programmer in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- thinks about how elevators are programmed, what the data structures would look like.
- regrets his life decisions 😂
- gets out

Yesterday while I was searching solution on stackoverflow for an error I was getting, for found the whole code for the thing I was working on🥳

That is when I realised I was searching for copper but God gave me Gold.

When I first saw the line:
include <stdio.h>

I read it as:
include <studio.h>

When you get hit by all the Mathematics in this world😵

What kind of headache are you guys having right now?

It really works🥳

I do this all the time

Anyone planning to use ML for an E-Commerce WebApp Project

Secret of success

Girlfriend is temporary.
Programming is permanent.

Me: I wrote this block of code right?
My brain: lol yes!
Me: Then what does it do?
My brain:

Story of every project

What gives you the feeling of power?

This is me all the time

Just imagine stealing a Tesla and it self drives you to the nearest police station 😬

When you know only one programming language but it is capable of doing Frontend, backend and everything you need...

Others: Don't treat Animals🐨 like objects.

My Highschool Teacher: Animal animal = new Animal ();

Me searching what is UI/UX development in chrome and opening instagram to find this

Decided to train 10 newbies who joined my company during the pandemic.

Worst decision ever.