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Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.
Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.
*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*
Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?
Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.
Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.
He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.
Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.44 -
Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."
Me: "other hobbies?"11 -
I was giving an interview this other day and I was sharing my screen with the interviewer.
Interviewer 😦: Is this linux you are using?
Me 😅: Ah yes. Since this is a coding round I am not comfortable on windows for coding.
Interviewer 😳: And this is your personal laptop?
Me 😁: Yes, since the only use of windows is primarily to play games and the games I play are usually supported on linux, I dont see any reason why my daily driver should be anything other than linux.
Interviewer 😯: What distro is this?? Looks cool.
Me 😆: Its Ubuntu with KDE Plasma. There are some really cool things in here which actually make my life quite easier.
Interviewer ☺️: I must check this out today itself. Lets start with the interview then.
Me 😊: *Blushing in my mind
And this is how you score some instant brownie points in an interview. Actually if truth be told, that laptop was actually my work laptop and my personal laptop has windows on it because nvidia and Assassin's Creed.19 -
Interviewer: So you worked with mysql?
Me: yes, for over 6 years
Interviewer: so, you know how to write queries?11 -
My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.
Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?
GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.
Interviewer: Does it use internet?
GF: Yes.
Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.
GF: 😯21 -
Interviewer - so what's your email ID?
Candidate- sir, abc@xyz.com
Interviewer - and password?
Candidate- 12345678
Interviewer - you shared such a confidential information so easily for the job. How can we trust that you will not share any confidential information of the company for some better offers?
Candidate - Sir, I might have shared my password with you but I don't think you can still login to my email account. Let's look for the possibilities. My password can be
12345678
Or
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight
Or
1twothreefourfivesixseveneight
1twothreefourfivesixseven8….. so on
Or
2444666668888888 (one 2, three 4….)
13355557777778 (1, two 3, four 5……, 8)….. so on
Or
Combination of all of these…
By the way, did I mention use of capitals? 😂
Finally that candidate was offered with the position as
" HR Manager"7 -
At Job interview.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.
Interviewer: What!?
Me: What?15 -
So I went for interview today.
.
.
Interviewer : Can u give some theory test about php?
Me : Sir, Can u please open your site?
Interviewer: sure 🙂
Me : Sir, I just logged in as Owner of ur company, Your site is not protected from sql injection.
Interviewer : 😌😌
Me : Sir, test?? 😜
xxxxxxxxxxx -------------------- xxxxxxxxx20 -
Interviewer: "What's your greatest weakness?"
Me: "I'd say my greatest strength are my listening skills"3 -
My first interview.
Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.
Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.
Rejected.13 -
They asked for a web developer
Interviewer : can you fix this printer ?
Me: no
Interviewer : You're not for this job
Me: thanks God I'm not for that job1 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
Interviewer: "Do you know Xamarin?"
Me: "I mean I know C# but not app development"
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Thats pretty much how my interview went12 -
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years working in this company?
(The company shut down after 2 years.)6 -
* Me entering the interview room:
Me: Hello
Interviewer: Hi, You are XYZ right?
Me: Yes, that is me
Interviewer: You know we offer {low_number} as a salary right?
*Me going out of the room7 -
Interviewer told me to go to the window and jump.
I jumped in front of the window and came back on my seat6 -
Worst interview question (but actually answer) :
Interviewer : "How would you describe the Internet in one word?"
Me: "... Big"
I got the job by some miracle.10 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Interviewer: Who created JavaScript?
Me: ... Seriously?
Interviewer: Completely
WTF? First time I face that kind of question in an interview... For the record, I didn't know the answer, according to Wikipedia Brendan Eich created JS56 -
Interviewer: Do you know about SQL injection?
Student: Yessss
Interviewer: Okay, how we can prevent it?
Student: Yes, we should prevent it as prevention is always better than cure. It can lead to data loss and other problems so it can be difficult to fix it if it happens. The best case is that nothing like that takes place. [...]
Interviewer: I get it but how?
Student: By not building any web applications.
[Silence]
Interviewer: Nice, you may go. Do not call us. We will call you.19 -
Interviewer: Which number comes after 8?;
Me: 9;
Interviewer: Get out of here.;
I still don't know why I got rejected in Microsoft interview.13 -
Interviewer: So how long did you work at your last job?
Man: 30 years
Interviewer: and how old are you?
Man: 22 years
Interviewer: you're 22 and you have 30 years of experience that's not possible
Man: and you are looking for a junior dev with 5 years of experience4 -
Interviewer: Why do you want to work for Facebook?
Me: I'm keen on protecting people's data and want them to have a good user experience
Interviewer:
Me:
Interviewer:
Me: haha I'm joking I don't give a shit
Interviewer: haha omg I was like whaaatttt lmao
src: https://twitter.com/ArfMeasures/...2 -
interviewer: Do you know HTML?
me: Yes sir!
interviewer: can you tell me its full form?
me: how to meet ladies.
interviewer: get the fuck out of here9 -
Interviewer: What is your native language?
Me: Lisp
Interviewer: The programming language?
Me: Yeth5 -
At job interview.
Interviewer: What are your goals in life?
Me: Well... Right now... Getting 1000 upvotes in devRant so I can get that fat cat on my avatar....6 -
Interviewer : "Do you know SQL ?"
Me : "Yes sir. I know SQL and I prefer NoSQL."
Interviewer : "So you know SQL and you don't want to do it for our company ?? This is arrogant !! "9 -
*during my final job interview*
*holding the folder that contains my cv*
interviewer: Wait, before I open this I would like to guess which position you're applying to.
me: Hmm okay sir? Which position?
interviewer: I see you're applying as a back-end developer?
me: Yes sir, I am.
interviewer: Aha! That's because you have a long hair? Like it is a requirement for every devs to grow their hair?
me: *laughs* i think so?
interviewer: Well our devs here also has long hair. You'll meet 'em soon.
...
That sets the mood of my interviewing process that leads me the job offer. LOL.13 -
Interviewer: Can you explain OOP to a six year old?
Applicant: About the 6yo, are you referring to a client or you?
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️13 -
So because of the sheer number of interviews I’ve been doing I’m starting to get a bit brazen with them since I’ve started to really not give a fuck about most of them and I’ve started to notice patterns in common lines of questioning resulting in this unexpected gem today:
Interviewer: So we always start our devs off on the bottom end of our salary band.
Dev: Either give me the top or I’m not interested.
Interviewer: 😡. But if we start you at the top of the salary band we’ll have nothing to give you later. 🥺.
Dev: No need, I’ll take the money up front. Companies don’t give raises these days anyway, it’s just a carrot to dangle in front of the naive.
Interviewer: 😡. Well if all you care about is money so focussed on money you’ll just leave if a better offer comes around!
Dev: All the more reason to give me the highest number possible to defend against that possibility.
Interviewer: 😡. But there are other devs on the team with similar experience that will be making less than you.
Dev: Sounds like they fell for the negging and guilt tripping you are currently attempting on me in order to save a buck. Salary is not based on your skills or experience anymore, it’s based on your ability to negotiate. Here’s mine.
Interviewer: ………………. I’ll pass you along to the hiring manager.
Dev: ???? wtf
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT ACTUALLY WORK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO HANG UP FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND NOW I’M LOOKING AT A 20K RAISE ALL BECAUSE I CONTINUALLY TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES??? THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT TAKES TO BE TREATED PROPERLY BY A COMPANY???14 -
Interviewer: Alright, so tell me what you like about software, but you don't have to limit it to software you can talk about hardware too. But yes what do you like about software?
Me:
7 -
Interviewer asked me how to find the best move in Tic Tac Toe game.
We discussed several ideas and ended up playing Tic Tac Toe for nearly 10 minutes.
It turns out HR was keeping an eye and they had to interrupt.12 -
At job interview.
Interviewer: Have you ever thought about why manhole covers are round?
Me: It's to accommodate different body shapes of sewer workers.
Interviewer: Hahah. It's actually so the covers wouldn't fall in.
Me: It used to be like that, but they changed it.
Interviewer: What? Who changed it?
Me: The lizard people!
Interviewer: What?!
Me: * cowers in corner and hisses *7 -
Interviewer: Any plans on pursuing Masters?
Me: I haven't thought about it so far
Interviewer: You know what, work here for 1-2 years then go do your Masters, then join Google or Facebook
Me: Ok :|12 -
Interviewer: So are you familiar with our company and what we do?
Dev: I looked at your website, looks like you build tools for managing restaurants.
Interviewer: No. That’s not even close.
Dev: ?
Interviewer: What we do is create an ecosystem of integrated data centres all orchestrated for immediate stakeholder utilization.
Dev: But the product itself…. it’s a user interface for tracking inventory. Of like…. burgers…. and bottles of wine.
Interviewer: It’s not a product! It’s a data……habitat!!
Dev: …
Dev: So does that make your users animals?
Interviewer: 😡. Unfortunately it looks like you do not see our vision and would not be a good fit for this role.
Dev: Agreed.27 -
Applied for my first dev position last year. Interviewer asked for a code sample so I showed him some forum software I was working on at the time. I think my commit messages tanked the interview...
5 -
Interviewer: (asks technical question)
Me: (answers correctly)
Interviewer: Oh thank God, most of the people we interview fail to answer that. So, on another note do you believe in rubber duck debugging?
Me: yes, ofc
Interviewer: but it's just a toy you know
[I was kinda taken aback]
Me: ...
Me: God is imaginary too you know
Interviewer: (he just laughed)
(So I laughed with him) 😅12 -
Interviewer: For this next code challenge you will not be allowed to use the internet, or an IDE.
Dev: …
Interviewer: OR a keyboard OR a mouse. I will be verbalizing the code to you and you need to memorize it and tell me where the bugs are.
Dev: …
Interviewer: We must do this exercise to know how you are as a dev without any performance enhancing “aid”. This way we can understand where you are truly at skill-wise, and what you are truly worth from a compensation perspective.
Dev: …
Dev: If I get a job with you will I be allowed to use the internet and an IDE and a keyboard/mouse?
Interview: Of course you would! Getting anything done without those is just about impossible. We just need to evaluate you without them to see how good you REALLY are.
Dev: …20 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
[Interviewer] : How would you use MySQL?
[Student] : your SQL? Can I get mine so that I can use it?
[Interviewer] * confused what to say *9 -
Interviewer: Do you know what Kubernetes is?
Dev: Yeah, that’s the greek god of spending money in the cloud.
Interviewer: Actually Kubernetes is an orchestration tool. Have you not been on a project that uses it yet?
Dev: …9 -
Interviewer: "Hi, we are searching for a junior frontend dev with 1 year of experience and strong skills with Angular".
Me: "I have never used Angular before but I have 4 years of experience, It's not a problem for me to study it and use it quickly".
Interviewer: "Eh no, we are searching for someone with very strong Angular skills".
Me: "That's fine, but sorry how can a junior dev with just 1 year of experience have already strong skills with Angular? He must have also strong skills with JavaScript in general and It's quite impossible".
Interviewer: "Ehh... ehm.... ehmm..."11 -
Interview (first job):
Interviewer: So what languages do you know?
Me: Well, i learnd C, C++ and Matlab scripting, but i'm learning C# as a personal project.
Interviewer: Perfect!
First day:
Interviewer(now boss): So, a guy is leaving next week and you will be replacing him. He has 70 projects and you will be responsible for this production test platform in JAVA11 -
As a student trying to find an internship for a software engineering position, my subpar transcript being brought up during the interview always has me like:
Interviewer: "Why is your GPA so shit???"
Me: "Fuck you that's why!"
😤😥8 -
Interviewer: Hello I’m calling for your phone interview now
Dev: You’re about an hour early calling but I can accommodate
Interviewer: Well it’s more convenient for me to do it now
Dev: …Alrighty then.
Interviewer: So I am from HR 😇*pause for effect*
Dev: …
Interviewer: Um, typically candidates start the interview by thanking me for consideration for this role.
Dev: Your job description was very vague so I don’t really know what I would be thanking you for.
Interviewer: 😡. It’s me that’ll be determining whether or not to pass you on to The Management.
Dev: …The Management?
Interviewer: Yes 🤗.
Dev: I’m no longer interested *click*.13 -
Technical Interviewer: "You killed it, and flew right through this. I'm seriously impressed."
Me: "Is this real life?"5 -
Interviewer: Tell me your previous achievements.
Me: I had a level 213 fire mage.
Interviewer:
Me:13 -
Interviewer: How will you solve the travelling salesman problem?
Me: *explains the solution on whiteboard*
Interviewer: It is slow. Can you do it in linear time at least?
Me: It is NP hard so it is not possible. For a restricted case, it may be possible
Interviewer: You are stupid. Do not apply again.9 -
(Interview for sde-3 position)
(continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/2132431/... )
Interviewer - *opens laptop. Gives a question.* solve this.
Me - *a bit surprised that such questions were being asked on a sde-3 level*
this is the 4th or 5th question from geeksforgeeks, isn't it? I know the answer to this. Do u still want me to solve it?
Interviewer - *not believing me* Yes
Me - okay. Well this *writing down the original solution mentioned on the site* is the verbatim code mentioned on the website, with complexity O(n^2).
However I feel this is not the optimal solution. Let me write a better solution.
*I provide a better solution*
This has a complexity of O(n log n) . What do you think?
Interviewer - Nope. This could be a lot better.
Me - okay. Let me see. Did some minor changes, added some caching (obviously this will have no effect on the base algorithm) etc
How about now?
Interviewer - nope. Still not good.
Me - okay. Can you tell me how to improve it?
Interviewer - no we are not allowed to solve problems for you. It is not our interview, it is yours.
Me - that makes no sense. Interviews are a two way street. I'd very much like to know the optimal answer to this.
Interviewer - okay
*copies down the answer from geeksforgeeks*
This is good
Me - *at first I thought this was a prank or something. *
I just mentioned this answer here.
Then I spent the next 10 minutes providing a BETTER solution.
May I know how yours is better?
Interviewer - this solution has 2-3 loops. Yours has a function calling itself.
Me - that's called divide and conquer using recursion mf!
Anyways let's take an example and do a dry run.
Interviewer - okay
*we do dry run*
Interviewer - oh yes. Yours ran faster. But it will run fast only sometimes.
Me - yes. Each time the algorithm rolls a dice to decide if it should run fast or slow. You have one goddamn awesome weed dealer man.
I got to go. Thank you for meeting me.14 -
Went blank when interviewer asked me do I know KITT. I knew that he didn't mean Knight Rider, but I could not think of anything sensible in the few seconds I had time to answer the question so I answered NO. Interviewer said that it is a basic requirement for the job and it seemed that I lacked the basic skill needed for the job.
Needless to say I didn't get the job. Later that day as I was telling my friends about the interview they seemed really confused....
"... but you know GIT very well. You use it on a daily basis. Why did you answer NO ?"
Damn, blew my interview on pronounciation issue :/9 -
Interviewer : most software developers are male, why do you choose to vw developer
Me : cannot afford transgender operation, happy with my gender
I thought i didn't get the job18 -
Interviewer: "I'll checked your GitHub, your side projects looks very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies. "
Me:"Other hobbies? "8 -
Interviewer: Do you have created any android application before?
Dev: I just built an application to increase, farming production to help farmers earn some more money. It's less profitable but makes farmers better.
Interviewer: That's so stupid. Do you know Jeff Bezos?
Dev: yes
Interviewer: we need someone like that level of visionary to make money for our company. Sorry, we don't think you can make apps that makes people do stupid things for fame.
Dev: Do you know Nicola Tesla
Interviewer : yes
Dev: Well he should have pulled the plug long ago.6 -
I had an interview with facebook, asked me to write something that sorts points on a parabola. Wrote it in java, tested output every step of the way with the interviewer watching.
Said they didn't like that I wrote pseudocode. You know, the kind that compiles and takes in dynamic input and prints the answer correctly to the console.6 -
Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...7 -
Got two interviews today. Wish me luck. I'm nervous, but I think the candidates are probably more nervous.8
-
interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
me: don't let your enemy find out your weakness. -Bruce Lee
interviewer: get out4 -
Today was the first time I told a rude interviewer off. Feels pretty good. Fuckwad kept cutting me off with “Shut up and just answer my question”. Nope. Not taking that shit my good sir.17
-
Me as interviewer: So how often do you post on dev rant and how far are you into game of thrones?
Interviewee: Not a fan and what's dev-
Me as interviewer: Ok I think I have all the info I need5 -
INTERVIEWER: "I see you put 'Mime' as a hobby - tell us more about that"
ME: **Tries to leave but is trapped in imaginary box**1 -
In my yesterday's interview:
Interviewer: Tell me about some cool things you did on last year.?
Me: Connecting multiple IoT devices and create dashboard to show status using web sockets.
Interviewer: Oh great. You did without page refresh.?
Me: Yeahh 🙄
Interviewer: Then its cool.
Me: 😬🤔😐22 -
Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP
Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS8 -
Interviewer: So here are the technical tests. You have 20min.
Me: We agree I can use the internet?
Interviewer: No, sorry.
Me: Good, I'll make you pen&paper websites then. Seriously!?4 -
Interviewer:
Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.5 -
Interviewer: Hello my name is Alyssa from Sheeple and my pronouns are she/her
Dev: Oh yeah I saw that in your email
Interviewer: Ok well I am just letting you know they are still the same
Dev: Thanks for that.
Interviewer: What are your pronouns?
Dev: div/span
Interviewer: Sorry?
Dev: he/him
Interviewer: Oh…ok. Let me know if that changes.
Dev: I promise you it won’t
Interviewer: Well you never know!
Dev: …46 -
Interviewer: We keep having devs take off for other opportunities after a short period of time. We need someone loyal who will be sticking around for the long haul. Oh wait, you only have one dev company you’ve worked for on your resume? Yeah that’s not good, we only hire devs who have worked for lots and lots of companies.
Dev: …9 -
1.
Interviewer
how many soccer balls can fit in your house
Me i dont play soccer
---------
2.
Interviewer
.....
Me
........
Interviewer
...(looks at me)
Me
.......
Interviewer
(staring me)
Me
Hi!
Interviewer
Oh yeah. So....14 -
*sees people on Facebook wanting to get Linux certificates*
Me: naah that's not how I'ma do it
*at le job interview*
Interviewer: "So you apply as a sysadmin.. what are your skills? Certificates?"
Me: "No certificates sir.. but I USE ARCH LINUX 😎"
Me (quietly): "and Ubuntu Server too but that's not as cool :v"9 -
Interviewer: So, we were researching you online and came across your devRant profile.
Me: Ok, I'll see myself out. Thanks.5 -
The interviewer pointed out that I missed a semi-colon on the whiteboard code .I was like... sorry, but the whiteboard can't compile this code!
...and I wasn't selected! -.-"3 -
Interviewer: One last thing, hope you are not married.
She: No, but how is that relevant?
Interviewer: Well because this job involves a lot of traveling you see...
She: Makes sense Sir. Also, I have a lawyer friend, in case you need any help...
Interviewer: What help?
She: Help with filing for your divorce Sir, as this job involves a lot of traveling...6 -
Job interview..
Interviewer: gave me a question
Me: (took 40 mins to solve it)
Interviewer: Ok. 2nd question... Asks the ques..
Me: (relieved that 1st ques got over) Took some time 5 mins to come up with solution..
Interviewer: ok. 3rd question..
Me: ( feeling so happy that I solved 2 questions and reached the 3rd question)
Interviewer: Let's go back to first question and tell me a scenario that will fail in ur logic..( yes this is the 3rd question)
Me: Damnnn.. My heart stopped.. It took me 40 mins to figure out the logic that worked with different inputs I tried n now, I have to find some scenario that won't work...10 -
I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.
interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.
me: cause I can get shit done.
... akward silence
interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?
me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....
interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.
lol well I guess they'll be in touch..9 -
I just realized a major problem with me when I interview with any company:
Interviewer: How would you begin implementing a system that does xyz thing?
Me: I wouldn't because Google already has controlling market share and I wouldn't want to compete with that.18 -
Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."
I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.1 -
Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.
** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console
Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.
** 1 minute later of reading through the code
Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.
Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.
Interviewer: Ok.
** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess
Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?
Dev: …5 -
Interviewer: What is your strength and weakness in terms of technology?
Me: My strength is Java and my weakness is Java Script.
Interviewer: Hmm Ok... then let me ask you questions only related to JS.
Me : (face palm) 😳4 -
Interviewer: Do you have any questions?
Me: When can I expect to hear back?
Interviewer: The HR will inform you
The HR never contacted me
4 years back I interviewed with a big bank
Neither the interviewer nor HR got back to me
Initially I had hope so I mailed them
Even then I didn’t get any revert
It is understandable that
I might not be deserving of that job
But I felt I deserved a feedback why?
The experience was really disappointing
Recently, a colleague & I were interviewing
“You don’t match our current requirement”
“We will send a written feedback
in a couple of days”, I told the candidate
Later my colleague: “Isn’t it unprofessional
to directly reject the candidate?”
Me: “I feel that an honest no is much better
than false hope from a delayed feedback”
“The candidate can move on
& focus on other interviews better”
Thoughts? Did I do the right thing?
Have you ever got a delayed feedback
or no feedback at all after an interview?8 -
Interviewer: Time limit for this exercise was an hour and you took 2 hours so you fail. Best of luck next time
Dev: Look I really don’t think your assessment has a very fair time limit. The only way you could do this in an hour is by knowing what the problem was beforehand and having all these niche utilities written ahead of time.
Interview: Oh yeah we had one guy that did that, he did the entire thing in only 45 minutes! We hired him immediately!
Dev: …5 -
Just got a email from interviewer, thanking me for introducing him to Devrant!!! Called me for a second interview.
***Told him about DevRant in first interview ***11 -
Interviewer : why should we hire you?
Me :*smiles because I have been preparing for this my whole fucking life*3 -
For my very first job interview, I joined a rather well known company (somewhere in the mid-ranges) as an intern-frontend developer. Everything was going okay-ish. I was asked some technical questions and I answered them to the best of my knowledge, and it was all good until he came to the javascript questions.
Interviewer: So, have you worked with any frontend frameworks?
Me: Yeah, I usually work with vanilla JS, but I've gotten into frameworks like Backbone and Ember.
Interviewer: I've never heard of those. Do you know AngularJS?
Me: I've dabbled aroudn with it, although I haven't gotten into it much. If you want me to use AngularJS, I can pick it up and get the ropes of it pretty quick.
Interviewer: So tell me.. what is AngularJS?
Me: It's a Javascript framework released by Google (explains what it is and how it differs from most popular JS frameworks, explains the components of Angular.. etc)
Interviewer: Well, you're wrong. It's an enhanced html for web-apps. ( or some bullshit he quoted off the front-page of the then angularjs.org homepage )4 -
Real story at a screening interview:
Me(interviewer): how do you convert a string into a number in Javascript?
Candidate: what do you mean?
Me: (writes "123" -> 123 on paper) How do you convert "123" to 123 in JS?
Candidate: (starts writing program on paper)
str.replace(/\"/g, '"")
mind==blown!!12 -
Telephonic "technical" interview at 5 in the evening
Interviewer : Tell me about yourself
Me : Blah blah...
Interviewer : Thank you for your time
(Call time on phone... 7 minutes)
Absolutely uninterested... no single counter question... Guess she just wanted to go home early... 😑6 -
Talent Acquisition/HR: 🤪
Dev: 🤪
Technical Interviewer: 🧐
Dev: 🧐
Hiring Manager: 🤡
Dev: 🤡
This strategy has yielded some dishearteningly successful job application results this week.6 -
The "explain x to an x years old boy/girl" questions are easy yet tricky.
Interviewer: Explain machine learning to an 8th years old kid.
"Imagine if <insert anecdotal example here>"
Interviewer: The kid is asleep. Try harder.4 -
How machine learning works,
Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?
Developer: I am a quick learner
Interviewer: what is 1 + 1
Developer: 30.
Interviewer: Not even close, Its 2.
Developer: 210 -
Interviewer: I think you are too young for this job, blah blah, your age is too low, blah blah, this job requires elder people, blah blah
(...keeps repeating the same bullshit for literally half an hour...)
Interviewer: look, I have to leave in five minutes. Convince me that you are not too young for this job.5 -
Interviewer: So which university are you from?
Me: I am from "foo" university.
Interviewer: So why did you not go to "bar" university?
Inner Me: Wtf kind of a question is that. Why the fuck aren't you a unicorn with pigs flying out of your ass and a globally reknowned researcher at Stanford?
We all end up where destiny takes us. Some of us try very hard but things don't magically happen for us. We keep trying but at the end of the day you end up where you end up.
Real Me: I just finished my High School and had the entry test the next day. I was not prepared at all.4 -
Interviewer: we need you to work overtime.
Dev: ok.
I: but we dont pay overtime work.
D:(so you want me to work for free?)
D:OK.3 -
Interviewer: Question 1: What's the most important skill of a software developer?
Me: Thanks for the opportunity, I'll show myself out.11 -
Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"
Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes6 -
during an interview for a software dev job...
interviewer: so in your opinion, what is the best part of git?
me: pushing to master
interview: damn that's the best answer anyone has ever answered. well played. *wink*4 -
Interviewer: What was the greatest problem you encountered in life and how did you solve it?
...yeaah, even if I could pick one right now, I probably wouldn't tell you about it 🤔 -
Interviewer: what would you say your biggest accomplishments to date are?
Me: ............*thinking* I made that kick-ass sandwich that one time!1 -
Previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2301424/...
She sent me a bouquet. The interviewer sent me a fucking bouquet.
9 -
I applied for PHP Developer
Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?
I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.
Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.
After he did not smile and I left the chair.13 -
(applying to a developer position)
interviewer : So, do you like to code?
me : of course!
interviewer : Are you sure? because this is a developer position and women prefer something more administrative than coding.
me : Wow! nobody told me that before. If I had known I wouldn't have studied this.
didn't expect to be called back after that...7 -
Interviewer: what's your biggest strength?
Me: I'm a fast learner.
Interviewer: what's 11*11?
Me: 65.
Interviewer: Not even close. Its 121.
Me: Its 1211 -
interviewer: name something basic
me: your crappy ass bootstrap php5.4 website you call a “cloud data infrastructure”
interviewer: oh that’s very basic indeed7 -
Interviewer: can you write a code snippet to explain function overriding
Me: *gives a practical example *
Interviewer: *not satisfied*
Me: what would be a proper example for the question?
Interviewer: *writes a text book example *
Her example didn't even need inheritance in the first place. It's one of those forced examples.
Next question: a riddle. Yes, a riddle4 -
Interviewer: Sell me this pen
He: Hey do you want to buy this pen ?
Interviewer: No
He: You might need it to write stuff
Interviewer: No, I don't need it.
He: Ok, no problem.. Bye
Interviewer: What are you trying to do?
He: Trying to be a part of a company that doesn't sell stuff to people they don't need or want ..
Interviewer:
He:
Interviewer: Please give my pen back..7 -
Me at an interview...
interviewer: can u solve a 3-sum problem
me: sir, a threesome is not a problem
interviewer: not threesome, 3-sum
me: OOOOO! that makes sense6 -
Just received a job invitation for my first developer position. But I never wrote a line of code in my life. I guess my interviewer too.8
-
My most awkward interview experience:
I go through the whole process Witt my usual attitude: stay relaxed, be open and let it be a process about meeting each other.
My interviewer at the end of it: "we won't hire you, you are too relaxed and don't fear me enough."
Ooookay? Glad I didn't pass it then!10 -
Interviewer: Why do you use Linux distribution for your development environment?
Me: Because I want to make my life as difficult as possible1 -
*Goes for an interview*
Interviewer reads my resume and goes on to say : "You are the first person today, whose resume doesn't include 'machine learning' ".
Me : *Points towards Machine Learning written in my resume* Sir here it is.
We both have a good laugh about it.
That day i realised that EVERYONE is 'learning' machine learning. EVERYONE.4 -
Unity3D Game Dev Interview
Interviewer: What is reflection and why would you use it?
Me: Gives overview of system and how I've used it in games before.
Interviewer: Sorry that was a trick question, Reflection is really dangerous and slow. You need to go back and learn the basics.
Me: ???...
A huge portion of Unity is built upon Reflection based systems, the entire Monobehaviour base relies on it. Their events system uses it, animation and timeline. I guess their team needs to go back to the drawing board.
How is this person a senior dev?2 -
Interviewer: *looking at my GitHub* do you use devrant?
Me: ...yes
Interviewer: ok, cool
I had an interview once where the dev interviewing me recognised that I had devrant avatar as my github profile picture.
Maybe that was one of the reasons they didn't get back to me after that interview? 🤔7 -
Tomorrow will be the first time I'll be interviewing candidates for hiring. Any advice?
P.S.: This will be first time an interviewer will be more nervous than the candidates. 🤔🤔15 -
Interviewer: Do you use object-oriented methodology?
Me: (Do I need to elaborate it if I say yes?) Usually I do.
Interviewer: Em. I see.
#End of story.3 -
My interviewer described the team as very experienced, senior algorithm people, so to make sure we don't waste each other's time, I said I don't feel like a senior. He went silent for a bit. And then he said "It's so refreshing to see some modesty in our field."
😂6 -
Interviewer: what's your worst quality?
Interviewee: I'm scrupulously honest
Interviewer: I don't think that's a bad quality
Interviewee: I don't give a fuck what you think3 -
Holy fucking cockgoblin!
If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".
Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.
I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!16 -
HR Firms are the worst!!
Just wasted 30 mins of my life.
Interviewer: Tell me about experience.
[ me after talking about various project I have worked on/ build using (js, ruby, React js, git...bla bla bla).
[ 10mins later answering pretty dumb question ]
Interviewer: Do you know about coding?
Me: jeez really, c'mon... is that a question - I just told you about my X years of experience and you asking me if I know how to code?
[Interviewer look at another dumb questions from her list]
Me: You know there are so many different broken links on your websites right? on the landing page there are many links that direct you to the HTML templates.
Interview: thanks...3 -
Got rejected in interview for Web developer... Interviewer showed company website and asked if it's made in html or WordPress... I said html which was wrong...
Am I incompetent? How can I predict the platform just by looking at UI...?30 -
Interviewer: what’s a fun fact about you
Me: I’m a poorly mixed bag of ambition and depression so depending on the day I can do everything or nothing at all4 -
During interview...
Interviewer: Do you know what is JQuery?
Applicants: Yes?
Interviewer: what is JQuery?
Applicants: am.... (in a couple of minutes thinking, the right answer that could be)
Applicants: JQuery is Java Query?
a pretty honest mistakes where the applicant do not know the answer and looks confident during interview5 -
During job interview
Me : Am I going to maintain old solution?
Interviewer : Of course not.
2nd day
PM : Please fetch project X from SVN5 -
Attended an interview, interviewer started calling me sir (Which I took as sarcasm).
Giving so many interviews, I was use to basic oops question. This guy just offers me a job based on my resume.
Felt nice but fishy.3 -
kinda coding i guess, company specialising in making statistics for other companies, analytic stuff or such, wanted stack: php, mysql
Interviewer: so here is our tech guy, who will be your boss if... so he would like to ask a few questions
techGuy: how would you ask for all the rows in a table? * looks at me *
Interviewer: * looks at me too *
me (learning inner, outer, left, right joins and transactions yesterday): * am i a joke to you? *
also me: * they must be making fun of me or something * well the query should be SELECT * FROM tableName; but one should really not use that, as * in theory really slows things down, because it loads unnecessary meta data bla bla
they: * look at each other * You're really good young man! Yes of course we know that, haha!
Interviewer: You said you just finished Uni, you doesn't seem like a junior to me! good job!
techGuy: so how would you LIMIT your results to 100 rows?
me: sigh * looks at door without turning head, so they wont notice *4 -
Been lurking for a while, figured I would give a rant a go now that I have graduated college!
So here we go, this was the only technical question asked on my second co-op interview. Ended up getting it.
Interviewer: "Do you know any loops?"
Me: "Yes....?"
Interviewer: "Which ones, can you name them?"3 -
Recruiter story.. hilarious stuff..
I have an interview in next fifteen minutes and was setting up for it.
Recruiter calls me to remind me of the same.
I ask her to tell me who the interviewer would be, because she did not mention in the invite and also did not respond when I asked her over the email.
Her response: sure, wait a minute... Actually we are not allowed to disclose interviewer.
LMAO WTF!!7 -
Interviewer at the end of the meet : Do you have any other queries..?
Our programming guy : of course, select * from ...1 -
Me on a tech part of a job interview: "We shouldn't do it this way because it violates separation of concerns!"
Interviewer: *clearly impressed*
Me 2 weeks later: *does exactly what I said that shouldn't be done because I can't be arsed to do it the right way*4 -
Today I attended an interview with one of the biggest companies in Automative Technology. What's the worse that could happen. I waited at the reception, then I was taken in. Pushed into a small room. The room could accommodate a single person, but the interviewer and a lady cramped in. I sat on a small chair pushed to the wall. Fuck, I felt claustrophobic. The whole atmosphere was unpleasant. Especially when I tried to see the interviewer, his chest hair kept screaming at me. For God sake, button your shirt man. As the interview went, I figured out, they were not interested in having interview in the first place. Demeaning it was. As I got up to leave, the interviewer walked out first. Then I noticed his feet. Sandals. Goes well with the unbuttoned shirt. Isn't it. If he was going to be my manager, I rather not go even if I get selected.3
-
Interviewer: Yeah so we're hiring you as the person who would build out and own our client-facing web application and related stack.
Dev: Perfect, that's what I've been doing for the past 10 years, I'm your guy.
Interviewer: GREAT SO WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FORK AND EXEC ON A PROCESS ON A LINUX MACHINE!?!?!?!?
Dev: I don't... know immediately at this moment?
Dev: Sigh
Dev: I hate my life
Dev: Somebody please help me18 -
Got selected for an interview with a big internet giant.
Went there and was warmly greeted.
Thry asked to wait for a bit as my interviewer was busy with something.
Moments later a young beautiful lady entered the room. Her face was the most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life. I was dumbstruck.
She then introduced herself and turns out she was my interviewer.
Everytime she asked me something I looked at her face and grinned stupidly.
Now even though I should feel bad about getting rejected, I am happy as fuck.
This message is to all cofounders/hr/etc. - please don't allow such beauties to take the interview. You might miss out an A grader.9 -
Maan. In exactly 57 minutes, I'm having a technical screen with a Microsoft interviewer. Oh shuks. Fuuuuuk! ( Vent with me )😌😝5
-
Interviewer: Oh ...we don't really use version control here..it's too hard to get the different offices on the same page.
Me: ...6 -
My first interview ever for an internship. The interviewer asked me to rate myself in this language from 1 to 10 as if I'm applying for a lead engineer position at Google. I replied with a number that I thought was appropriate at the time (but now I know it wasn't accurate). The interviewer didn't say anything and moved to the next question. Later, I found out he ranted about my answer on his Twitter, again as if it's expected from an applicant intern at a low tier company to know. Still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth 7 years later.8
-
well folks
another classic case of teaching the interviewer something during the interview
and still not getting the job
that's enough, i've had it
the world is filled with fucking dumbass clowns12 -
Hr Interviewer: So I see you have worked for over 6 years, mostly with Php.. which one do you know? 5.4 or 7?
Me:
*facepalm*
"both"
*that should impress her*
Those are the people who suppose to find me a job? 😓 I'm screwed4 -
I was once asked to find a way to find the centre of gravity of a coke bottle. As soon as I started mentioning string, ruler etc., the interviewer told me I have nothing else, only the coke bottle..10
-
Few weeks back a MNC rejected me as a fresher. The interviewer was quite rude. "your are not good enough", his words just took the soul out of me 😑. He said my portfolio website was done by somebody else. yeah! fine mate. We will meet soon4
-
Interviewer: “I agree, companies should stop calling people devops engineers, devops is a culture”
Me: “I’m glad you see it that way too”
*weeks later*
Interviewer, now new boss: “and this is our DevOps Engineer, Jeff”
Me: 🤨2 -
Interviewer: "Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer?"
Bill Gates: "No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system." -
I just had a WordPress interview on Hangout and got rejected and the interviewer said I build very basic projects.
That's why he can't select me.
What kind of projects do they want??10 -
Interviewer: Tell us about yourself.
Me: I was born at a very young age...
Totally going to say this when I interview next.4 -
Interviewer Mail: Build this complex project in 2 days
Me: Ok working GOD Mode Submitting.
Ghosted!!!!!3 -
Can interviewers PLEASE stop asking cliche and terrible questions??
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me: "Not with you guys obviously, you dumb piece of shit."
That's what I'd like to say to them at least... :/7 -
I had a job interview today. Things got a bit awkward when the guy doing the interview (a head of tech) brings into the interview one of their midweight devs and I became the interviewer rather than the interviewee.2
-
Never put a thing on your CV that you don't actually know. I've seen many people put a lot of languages that they don't really know, just to impress the interviewer and get rejected.
Also, be confident..... even when you are bluffing.4 -
It was my first interview at an local transport company. I should be the programmer of an app and manage the computers.
Me: in what language is the app?
Interviewer: we dont know.2 -
when you're at a job interview, the interviewer shows you some code to give you a taste and the first thing that comes to mind is, "how long is it gonna take to refactor and is it worth it..."
then proceeds on to show a database diagram and its an unholy cluttered spaghetti soup that even a purple octopus would feel a cold shiver from..
then the interviewer mentions the previous dev left suddenly and the deadline is very soon(TM?)..1 -
interviewee : *Appeared for JavaScript interview, in shorts with messy hair *
interviewer : why are you like this *with disgust feeling*
interviewee : I exactly don't know what this refers to
interviewer : can we talk about package2 -
Well, a question and then a statement.
Interviewer: ”What would you say about [salary here]?”
Me, completely incapable of bargaining: ”Well, maybe I would like it a bit higher...?”.
Interviewer: ”Policy states we start at [same salary]”
Me, still incapable. ”Alright then! I’ll take the job!”
Later same day when turning down the other jobs I was simultaneously in the process of aquiring.
Contact from other firm: ”Sorry to hear that. I hope the reason wasn’t salary, because we could have solved that.”
Me: *Sigh*
Well, the reason wasn’t the money, but maybe the reason for choosing the other job COULD have been money. Oh well...1 -
Interviewer: so why should we hirer you?
Me: I think the real question is: how much will you pay me if I can make "Hello World!" pop up on the console?4 -
Last job search experience?
I just had an interview today.
15 minutes in, the interviewer isn't done with the dumb questions and is consistent in using incorrect C++ terms. I was close to texting mates about this awful interview but I had camera on, so didn't. (Side rant: hate those entitled interviewing fucks who ask you to turn on your cam while never turning on theirs, and when you ask them, they'll say their connection is weak).
Twice he suggested something wrong or just bad. Corrected his wrong, but he didn't seem to be convinced. Allowed the bad.
Then he asked why am I looking for a change and his reactions to my answers made me realize he hadn't read my resume that was attached with the meeting invite. I assumed he was asking why I'm leaving my current shithole so soon but he was just generally asking why I'm looking for a change. And then he seemed not to believe me when I said I quit because of the stress. Kept asking about other offers and such.
In the end he asked if I'm cool with relocating, and I said not right now, maybe later. All in all, it's not the kind of place that's vibing with me even on short term.
So I'll be back on this week's topic next week too. Perhaps.11 -
HR Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Interviewee: I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response?
I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response... -
Went to an interview.
Interviewer said "X language is easy compare to our stack".
The next month, I saw on a job post that they're looking for that X role.
I should buy some sandwich2 -
Will be having first experience as a interviewer.
I pledge that I will ask practical and fair questions and pull the best out of the candidate.2 -
Interviewer: Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Me: I know how to exit Vim.
Interviewer: We are done. You are hired.
😂😂😂2 -
Interviewed for a company that needed help with an Ecommerce website, after which I was given a take home assignment to create a small web page displaying books from a DB.
The instructions specifically said to write it in any language or even pseudocode... Upon turning in the working solution I was rejected for not picking their current Ecommerce framework.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Clearly they forgot to list "mind reader" in the job description...2 -
Mind of a programmer in an Interview be like:-
Interviewer:- What's your name?
Programmer:- My name is Alice. (In mind printf("my name is %s ",name);)
Interviewer:- Where are you from?
Programmer:- India. (In mind location = &India;)11 -
Please. No. What have you done?
https://github.com/f/...
"I want you to act as an interviewer. I will be the candidate and you will ask me the interview questions for the ________ position. I want you to only reply as the interviewer. Do not write all the conservation at once. I want you to only do the interview with me. Ask me the questions and wait for my answers. Do not write explanations. Ask me the questions one by one like an interviewer does and wait for my answers. My first sentence is 'Hi'"3 -
My brain goes into infinite loop when an Interviewer asks, what was the hardest thing you did at your job?2
-
One of my interviews....
Interviewer: Do you know the welknown hack that increases the speed of embedded tomcat two times than default??
Me: what?? it even exists???
interviewer: yes... it exists... I know it... normally I share the answers with the interviewees... are you interested to hear the hack???
Me: Hell yeah...
Interviewer: ohh no... I will not share with you...
me: whyyy???
interviewer: I don't like your current boss...
Me: Fuck my life(inaudible)... facepalm..3 -
Had my first interview some days ago... interviewer asked me if i knew Javascript since i knew java, lol. Now i understand the memes
-
INTERVIEWER: Let’s say client wants a gif in the EDM design but older outlooks don’t support it. How do you solve it?
ME: Maybe we can try using iframes if outlook supports them and host gif somewhere and use iframes to show it.
INTERVIEWER: Any other solution?
ME: We can probably also detect the email client and just show gif for all other email clients but a picture for outlook.
INTERVIEWER: No but the client wants the gif to show on all email clients
ME: But outlook doesn’t support gifs!!!
INTERVIEWER: yeah
ME: …..
INTERVIEWER: …..
I thought maybe I missed something having been a junior dev and never developing edms. So jumped on the internet after the interview and my second answer is literally how everyone does it. What even was the point of that question? At no point she said yeah that’s a good solution and that’s how we do it in the industry. If outlook doesn’t fucking support gifs then what the fuck kind of solution am I supposed to bring to the fucking table in 5 fucking minutes.7 -
My brain: Its a company that works with web technologies and the job is more of a devops job they wont expect you to know cpp compilation process.
Interviewer: Last question tell me in detail what happens when you compile a cpp program.6 -
Toughest part of dev interviews? There are multiple I can think of.
Getting an interview altogether in this dumpster fire of an economy.
Negotiating salary (i.e. prevent getting a low-ball offer)
When the interviewer is a dev themselves and they get on a power trip and ask you the toughest/trickiest questions.
Convincing the interviewer that something you don't know now can be learned later just by googling and tinkering around.
Trying not to burst out in anger when you get asked stupid questions like "Why aren't you married?"9 -
Sometimes I think of imaginary interviews and how I will perform in then doing QA with myself both as an interviewer and the applicant 😐
-
Interviewer at Google: How did you come across this open position?
Candidate: I saw a student's post on LinkedIn where he got rejected in the first interview. I am active on LinkedIn so that I can learn from others' mistakes.
Interviewer: I will give you a chance to learn from your mistake. Please apply to Microsoft.8 -
Had my 2nd job interview.
Two of the interviewers were great, but the third interviewer was like an asshole.
Always tried to make me stuck somewhere haha7 -
Interviewer: Could you please make a class to force it create one instance at most?
Me: Sure!
(I didn't know the singleton pattern)
class A {
public static bool isCreated = false;
A() {
if(isCreated == true)
throw new Exception();
isCreated = true;
}
}5 -
Cognizant ( A software giant in India)
Interviewer: What does your father do?
Applicant: Business
Interviewer: What business?
Applicant: Jewellery!
Interviewer: Nice. We'll let you know. Thank you. -
So I was having an interview with a cool company a while ago. I had a non programming, full-time job then and I was having the interview during my break. I stressfully coded my way through a fizzbuzz and a tree question (luckily I had been studying data structures) but the interviewer generally sounded satisfied. Towards the end, he cheerfully asks "So, why do you want to work for us?" I panicked because I forgot to read details about the company before the interview. My response was "Um, because you offer a remote and part-time position, I know that's not a very nice reason, but, ummmm". The interviewer said "I see, thank you..." in a very dissapointed voice. Man, I didn't shoot myself in the leg, I loaded a nuclear missile on a fucking satellite and directed it straight to my balls. I felt so embarassed. Interviewer guy if you are reading this, I wanna say sorry.2
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Interviewer: Here's a marker, diagram how you would implement a time management system to track user work.
Me: [draws out complex system to track user work via heartbeat]
Interviewer: God, no.. something more simple like a time clock.
[sigh] -
Interviewer : where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: (auto generated random text which doesn't make sense but is fancy) blah blah bla bla bla blah bla bla bla bla blah bla bla ...
My mind: are you hiring a dev or astrologer ?
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The worst interview, I'll say the worst questions I ever being asked by stupid interviewer is "Where is your remote server located?", well I said "are your kidding me???" 😂 😂 😂2
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Interviewer: Implement Binary Search on a Linked List
Me: * did so on the whiteboard *
Interviewer: *irritated* This is complete BS
Me: Yes, a complete Binary Search 🙂6 -
Interviewer asked me to design the Energizer Bunny. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. Apparently that was the right answer.2
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While we were wrapping up my interview, one interviewer asked "Do you have any more questions for us?" I responded with "Well, when should I start?" I was smiling and showed confidence. Being yourself and believing in yourself will definitely put you in a working environment that you belong to.4
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I walked into a company, sat down with the interviewer who was more nervous than I was. Interview lasted 10 minutes. I drove an hour for to and from trip, for a ten minute interview...10
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How machine learning works
Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?
Me: I'm fast learner.
Interviewer: What's 11 * 11
Me: 65
Interviewer: not even close. It's 121
Me: It's 1213 -
In 2012 during a job interview I was asked how did you learn Photoshop. I said by creating memes. My answer failed because the interviewer didn't knew what was a meme so I took another approx 30 seconds to pitch what was a meme.1
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Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
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In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...
In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?
Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge
Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...
DAMN YOU LECTURER!2 -
-Interviewer: "do you have any problems in working after 19.30?"
-Me: "what do you mean? if something's wrong and it's my fault, l'll do my best to ..."
-Interviewer: "well, we have people here that works usually after 19.30, so if you have any problems in doing this, better to know now."
(uhm... the job was from 9AM to ... WTF PM?!)11 -
me, first job interview:
interviewer: so how about your knowledge of java
me: yeah, done some projects, should be ok
interviewer: what about polymorphism in java, can you tell me sth about it?
me (thinking i'm totally right): hehe, you can't do polymorphism in java!
guess what, didnt get the job :D6 -
Interviewer: What is ELK stack?
Me: It's a data structure which follows first in last out.
Interviewer: .......4 -
Q: "What's your most hated programming language?"
Me: "Lisp"
**Maniacal laughter from the interviewer**3 -
Interviewer : can you give me the pseudo code for a multilayer perrceptron?
Me: you 've got some time?
Interviewer : well 2 minutes?2 -
Interviewer: What is the difference between traditional programming and object-oriented programming?
Me: (elaborating) Blah... Blah... Blah.. (meanwhile on my mind, "The same difference between you and your father...")4 -
You will get far more rejections than acceptance. A lot of the time it has more to do with the interviewer and not the candidate (assuming the candidate is a genuine hard worker). The job search process is similar in this regard to finding a mate or compiling your code.
Keep moving forward! -
It’s time for me to be on the other side of the table. Any suggestions on how to be a great interviewer?12
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I applied for an unknown job.
Email: you'll be taking Junior Developer
Interviewer: We need fullstack developer with a salary of $100 for two months of training and $450 if you have great accomplishments9 -
As an interviewer or a senior software engineer who would want to hire someone new to your team, would you expect a person with a solid grasp of algorithms or a person who has good experience in the stack you are using? If both, what would be your priority?10
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Is is better to tell the interviewer that you are a solo developer in the current company? Or that you are a team of 2-3 people?
Just shower thoughts8 -
You're the interviewer, you have two candidates and can only ask one question. What would you ask?10
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Have had multiple interview rejections already at 20. Strongly feel I am bad at it.
Maybe it's because these are my first few interviews and/or that I'm still in college and don't realise how interviews work.
Really hard not to grudge the interviewer after a rejection. Cunts all of them.
Share your story/opinion if you feel like.2 -
As someone who often interviews devs, I can say you should be honest about your abilities. Just because you tweaked someone's Python code doesn't mean you are a Python expert. Stick to the facts on your resume/cv. Also, have a good code portfolio. That shows the interviewer much more than a degree does.4
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What kind of a shitty interviewer asks Fibonacci series as the only one question in the last round ?6
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Study all nite for an interview, come early to the university to find a quiet place to peacefully take the interview. The interviewer does not join the call for 2 hours. The hr does not reply in the above period.Hungry sad sleepy above all insulted.4
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Went for an interview yesterday, the interviewer was trying to speak in British accent, it was really bad. I was cringing the whole time.
Trying really hard to forgot then whole awful experience... :D
I hope someone tells the poor guy, how bad that accent sounds. -
I told the interviewer I was a rockstar developer.
I didn't tell him I meant rockstar in the "take loads of drugs and trash the hotel room" sense.1 -
So it's a French one related to kind of comedy act.
Interviewer: What can you bring to the company?
Me: An apple?
Interviewer: What?
Me: I don't think I can fit with the company mindset. Bye.
And I leave the building.
For me it was Epic! I'm still not sure she understood the reference, but still Epic.9 -
A friend went to a financial corp for a data analytic position. The interviewer proudly told him that they just got a new toy, and it's called Hadoop. My friend almost fainted.
2 -
interviewer: “i see you have taken some machine learning courses”
me: “yep”
also me: *googles the normal equations*1 -
Had an skype job interview, at some point the interviewer asked me to tell a joke. I told a dead baby joke. I dont know normal jokes. I am not normal either. Dont think he enjoyed it.3
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At an interview, interviewer keep on hitting me with theoretical questions, why python don't have switch cases, what is default sorting in java etc... I told him I don't bother about theory, then this conversation happened.
I(Interviewer)
I: do you know time complexities?
me: Yes
I: okay, tell me a few sorting or searching algorithms which have logarithmic complexity?
me: binary search (with loud and confident voice)
I: he told, in worst case it will have O(n) tell me any other
me: *thinking*
I: what are you thinking? what is time complexity of merge sort
me: O(nlogn)
i: it's logarithmic.... -
My first ever interview and the interviewer seemed more nervous than me. Didn't get the job.
I did have an interview a couple of hours later elsewhere with a much better firm and got the job :D -
this.post != rant
Just had my first job interview for backend dev position. Hopefully, it went well. Not that much technical questions but the interviewer sure did verified all the things I wrote on my cv. Good thing I included my side projects, that way we have a topic to talk about. Hope ill get the offer. Yaaaaas!!! -
I just got off the phone with an interviewer. His startup wanted someone who has done work with other companies.
I've only ever done projects for non-profits and social enterprises up until now. The hiring managers don't even get to a review of my Github code before saying 'No, thank you'.
Really frustrated right now.3 -
Me:
- 4+ years of experience
- Great Portfolio
- Great Github profile
- Worked at some succesful startups.
Interviewer:
- Uhmm sorry we can't hire you for this frontend job because you couldn't complete this whiteboard bubble sort test in c++.4 -
Interview stories. What are your funny/bizarre /success stories both as an interviewee or interviewer?6
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If interviewer asks me difference between abstract class and interface,what he is really expecting? Can anyone give real life example other than coding.6
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on an interview the interviewer said that there's a question on the test that seems simple but actually has a more sophisticated solution. and all i thought of and wrote was a simple solution. hmm1
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One time I got a Skype interview and the interviewer asked me to complete all the coding questions (rewrite in actual code) and email the answers to them within 10mins.
But when I open the question sheet, I found that all questions contain pseudo answer, so I ended up rewriting them on specific coding language, which was easy.
After I finished all the questions and sent the answer back to the interviewer and she told me this test wasn't testing my skill level on that specific coding language but honesty.1 -
Worst interview was with a kind of "Job Promoter" lying on my capabilities and the interviewer clearly saw I wasn't able to do some stuffs.1
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Interviewer can you write down program to perform custom lexical sorting?
10-15mins later writing code...
..
Can you code it in linear time ?
Me: if I knew the linear time solution why wouldn't I code that.
Note. I know a linear time solution but couldn't come up in 10mins of solving -
That part of life when you screwed up a good interview. Took forever to solve an easy question. And guess what.. I thought I will be given freedom to select language. But had to stick to JavaScript.. I know JavaScript but having been doing Java lately .. interviewer was debugging with me.. 😞😞😞
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So, I told the interviewer that my frontend skills are bad. He said that I should not worry as the tests where backend centered, good. Later, I got the job, now the interviewer, which happens to be the head of tech in the company I work for, has assigned me two tasks involving 99% of work on the frontend.
FFS, I've been searching on Internet and reading Kendo UI documentation for 4 hours to figure how to trigger the KendoGrid editable popup with populated data to enable the user to update such data. AAAAARGH!!!1 -
Be clear on your aim as a dev.
Be truthful of wat u know.
DONT DONT ever try to outsmart a interviewer who himself is a dev for many years.
Lastly keep cool and backup ur skills. -
Programmer at an interview:
interviewer: introduce yourself
programmer: Hi, my name is ______, and am a programmer,
you can actually call me a programmer because from the top I look good, but from the bottom I am naked.
comment below whether you will be hiring this programmer on not.7 -
When you interview, remember that the single biggest factor in getting an offer is whether the interviewer likes you or not. I could tell lots of stories to back that up but it would take forever. So my TL;DR version would be: it isn't the only thing that matters, but trust me - it's crucially important.
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!dev I knew this was true but I'll say it again because I recently was met with this situation again:
Rule: If the interviewer says at the end of your first interview: "We'll see", you didn't get the job.
I'm starting to think that getting a job these days is a rarity..2 -
When you have an interview with a software company and the interviewer speaks broken English so the two of you don't understand each other and it's completely unproductive for both of us1
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Going to interview a candidate for front end dev position today, my first ever interview as an interviewer... you guys got any tips?2
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Guys and gals in DevRant, if the interviewer said that she will send me the result of the interview within today and she doesn't send me the promised email within the said time frame, when it the appropriate time to follow up?4
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In my latest interview. It's the first in a overly morose process that includes many.
Me: So, about the scope of responsibilities...
Interviewer: <translated from fart noises> "we're a dynamic company"
<translated again> do any shit some big headed brass asks of you
Me: it involves many meetings?
Interviewer: <dismissive fart noises>
Me: Is it for an open field project or an ongoing structure?
Interviewer: We have many ongoing projects, and you allocation may be changed dynamically <so, fart noises>
Me: about the salary...
Interviewer: <Extra-stinky-fart noises>
...
It went on for an hour, never an straight answer. Not even for the name of the company.
...
Me: Have you noticed that, even that you are interviewing me, I'm the one asking all the questions?
Interviewer: <actual fart> yes, you really seem to have the knack for it!
Me: ...
Interviewer: so, any more questions?
Me: Yes. Are you flammable? <actual quote> -
Interviewed for a job. Said that the colleague in charge of data engineering picked MSSQL Server for data warehousing, and that I had to write a plugin for that.
Interviewer - experienced in all things data - chuckled as soon as I said Microsoft.
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