Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "we are devs"
-
Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.
I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.
Suddenly the production is down.
Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.
That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.24 -
Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"
... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂
She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!1 -
We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉17 -
Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.
*Intern asks for help*
JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.
Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.
2 hours Later. Check in meeting
PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?
JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?
PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?
JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.
Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*
PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.
Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.
PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?
Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.
PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.
Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?
PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.
Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.
PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.
You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.17 -
Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.
I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"
Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"
It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.
But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:
"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "
"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"
"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."
"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"
"What is that?"
"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"48 -
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”10 -
We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“25 -
Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.
No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.
Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.
I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.40 -
>22 year old college student
>Apply for a QA internship
>Interview goes well,they see I have plenty of experience and doubt it's real
>Hard questions are thrown
>Answer them and they admit the position is for manual testing
I honestly don't care I need the money, plus manual testing doesn't usually strain me.
>A week goes by
>A month goes by
>Call them
>...Sorry we were looking for someone with less technical and dev experience.
My fucking face when I don't have a title, still overqualified, fighting with WordPress devs on freelancer.14 -
Manager: You devs are constantly complaining about context switching, if you were on my level you would be able to multitask and switch from task to task without an— hold on I’m getting a text *tap* *tap* *tap tap* *tap* *send noise*
Manager: Right, what were we talking about again?
Dev: …15 -
Linux developers threaten to pull the kill switch...talking about giving people the finger this week...
If you have been following the nerd news these last weeks you may have heard about Linus leaving Linux (temporarily) and implementing the new CoC (pronounced cock) code of conduct thanks to the constant pressure of the ABC of inclusion (LGBTQLMNOP+ groups).
This new code of conduct aims, believe it or not, to change the predominantly white, straight, and male face of programming and it also seems to "mitigate the consequences of dogmatic meritocracy".
That's right, are you white, male, straight or otherwise pull yourself out of the mud? Yes, YOU are part of the problem (also racist, sexist and probably islamophobic).
Bullshit I know, these SJW privileged upper class assholes are pushing for these changes to inspire witch-hunts against good devs like Larry Garfield (cause: sexual fetishes) and give themselves more power over the free speech of people.
Ironic if you ask me because I haven't seen anything similar for oil rigging which is riddled with cis males (but ain't as comfy).
But not everything is lost and that's why this hasn't been a mouth foaming rant because boy I'm proud to know there are devs with balls out there; It seems there's a little detail with the GPL2 license and all those unjustly banned by the new stupid racist ass CoC can withdraw the license to their contributions crippling the Linux kernel project.
I'm not happy that GNU/Linux is being threatened like so, but it was about time we put a stop to this, your politics, skin color, religion and ideas should not matter when developing code, what matters is the code you produce.
Want to politicize our repos and kick out devs just because they don't think the way you do? Let's see how long you last without the contributions of the "deplorables"; let us see how many good contributions your new "diverse", PC stack do (other than changing master/slave or other terms).
My guess...as I've said earlier, everything these PC busybodies touch, if unchecked, crumbles to dust. (EA 😉)
Sources:
https://lulz.com/linux-devs-threate...
https://contributor-covenant.org//
https://lists.llvm.org/pipermail/...80 -
Devs regularly complain that our skills are not valued enough and that people think what we do is easy.
But, we don't really help the cause when we run around casually claiming to be "full stack" and not turning down work that clearly isn't in our area of competence.
We act more like Victorian amateur scientists.
Every seen a "full stack" doctor when you go to hospital? "Brain to feet---I can do it all."
OK, we have general practitioners, but they are really the BAs of the medical world. When it comes to getting into the weed, everyone specializes.
Full stack lawyer? "Hey, you did an excellent job of dealing with my house purchase. I've just been accused of murder. Can you represent me?"
While we continue to say that we can provide a high quality "full stack" experience I think we are signaling that this stuff *is* easy.19 -
So Github went down and it showed how much empathy devs have for fellow devs.
We saw tweets saying things like,
God I can't imagine how freaking stressed out the devs at Github are right now.
Or "Hugs and kisses to the devs at Github. You got this"
Of cause there were the occasional dumb Github tweets.
But in all it just shows how much we empathize with other devs and knowing they are trying their best to handle the situation. For more than 8 hrs. Imagine a black out of something like twitter for just an hour or two.. Gives you chills.
But bravo/brava to all the understanding devs.5 -
"Google does it". I hate that sentence. It's always the beginning of an unreasonable expectation.
Perhaps if we had as much devs as Google we could do it too. But we are 2 devs spread over 15 projects, so fuck off.8 -
Senior Management: We are severely disappointed in the timeliness of the two apps you built this year. You had budgeted 3 months for one and it took 4 months and the other was budgeted to take 4 months and took 5 months. We understand that we doubled the requirements halfway through and but that doesn’t take away from our need for you to deliver on time. We provided you with two extra devs on the project! We know they were novices and you had to train them from the ground up during the project, that doesn’t matter. The extra resources should have helped you but your lack of leadership ability is what caused them to hold you back. We know our other team with a budget of 6 months took 2 years on their project and was still unsuccessful but that is a different scenario! That was a pre-built 3rd party ERP plugin, way more complicated and nuanced than simply building and deploying something from scratch. Yes we’re aware your projects were the only successful tech projects at the company this year, that’s just luck and coincidence. The next app we need you to build in 6 months, no questions asked. It needs to consolidate and tie together our 3 different ERPs. Everything that we need out of these products that they don’t do out of the box we need you to wire up. We will decide the exact requirements in a month or so, for now just get started. Yes your apps changed the way we do business and allowed us to complete projects smoother than ever before while saving millions of dollars in wasteful and archaic processes that is OLD NEWS. Stop bringing it up. The successes of yesterday are the status quo of today. Don’t expect any new resources either, you clearly can’t handle them. You will now be giving status updates to 3 different managers as a corrective action to your missed deadlines in order to ensure the timeliness of future deliverables.
Dev: …25 -
*Opens LinkedeIn*
*Sees a posting for iOS/Android devs*
*Read description to find: Good knowledge in Eclipse for Android*
Which year are we in? Have they heard of Android Studio?6 -
My company does estimates in two ways.
1. Sales person just throws a number out there, always short, and we panic code to make it happen before the client decides twice as long isn't worth it.
OR
2. The devs are told to give an estimate before having a chance to find out all the requirements, THEN ARE TOLD THEY ESTIMATED TOO HIGH AND TO LOWER THE NUMBER!
FUCK THE ESTIMATING!!! GIVE US TIME AND ACCEPT OUR ESTIMATES!! SALES PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO STAY UP IF WE NEED TO CRAM!!undefined why is sales in charge? fuck actually happens every estimate proper rant at estimates pissed sales9 -
"Stop working from home. Fuck this. We do enough and don't get paid what we should. It is you and me for two campuses and you are far more knowledgeable and qualified than what they offered you at the beginning. I get that the benefits are killer but don't burn yourself out. I am not expecting you to work from home. Will not ask of it unless really is required and would much rather we have a few beers instead of getting together to finish bullshit deadlines...for 2 devs"
My current lead developer. He turned into my work best friend and he is really into the whole concept of "fuck it we ain't getting paid enough"
Dis b ma dude.2 -
Software company director: we build Java applications right?
Devs: nah, javascript.
Director: it's the same, right?
Devs: no
Director: fuck, I pitched a Java application.
A few hours later...
Director on the phone: Yeah, we are building it in Java...10 -
Why do people (Some devs too...) bloody hell think that devs have Hard time fixing the Semi Colon issue, we have a lot of other issues to figure out, like the Structure of Data, Code Fragmentation, API Creation, Invalid Data Handling, Injection Prevention. But no, since we are developers, we are having sleepless nights because of one fucking semicolon? FUCKING NO, it hardly takes 30 seconds to figure out that there is a missing semi-colon. Really People, stop the ; thing!10
-
9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.6 -
My second job. I've been hired as a research specialist, not a developer, but they found out I could code during the interview.
Boss: hey, so we have our main product line that shares the control panel for all the models, right?
Me: unh, yeah
B: well, we need to know how it works.
M: sorry?
B: yeah, I mean, we should have a manual with all the tech documentation so we know how everything works
M: ...and didn't you handle the tech docs to the developers?
B: uh...no, actually we requests feature to the devs (note: external company) with a phone call, or email...now we need the specs.
Me: omg
...
The other company (which is part of the same group) handles me the source code.
It is a huge, 25k lines of spaghetti written by at least 7 people, one at a time, uncommented.
After a month I produce a 50page doc with how everything works, after actually compiling my resignation letter 3 times.
M: boss, here the docs
B: fine, I'll take a look
15 mins later
B: this is not what we need! You cannot describe those algorithm like this!
( I described the algorithms with their block flow, with a punctual verbal description)
M: umh.. So how do you need it?
B: we need an excel table, with all the entering conditions on the rows and all the exit conditions in columns, and the description of the condition of work in the crossing cells!
M: are you even serious?7 -
I wonder how would devRant send the mail with my MAC address? The hard way by tracking down my system having having the MAC address and deliver it to me?? 😂😂
DevRant is being unaware that we all are devs here 😂13 -
So i've been put in charge of bringing the devs together to form a small dev team, instead of having 3 separate devs (including me) sitting apart on separate projects. The idea was to have us talk more, work together more, learn more about the other projects, reuse more code etc.
(I've been arguing to let us do this for a while)
So I asked my manager could we move to the 4 desks in the corner, so we can have our own space, talk without having to book a meeting room each time etc. Its also a bit quieter over there and we all really need that in our noisy office.
Manager sent me an IM today while I was working from home to tell me we can have the desks. Was super happy, messaged the devs to tell them they can start moving.
Just got a message from one of them to say our manager has started moving his stuff over too. Seems he agreed with me that it is quieter over there and he doesn't like the noise either ... so he's joining us.
A huge part of the move was us wanting to work on side projects to automate and speed up various things in the team, that he has been against. We know we can make huge improvements but he doesn't see it. He's only interested in Word, Excel and Powerpoint.
So now we have our space, and anytime we try to work on something we are actually interested in, we'll have a little voice in the corner to pop up and point out what other things he deems more important and tell us to stop wasting our time.
Pretty fucking annoyed to be so happy and then get shot down like that. Happy weekend everyone!!9 -
I was thinking today about a certain aspect of running a software startup and then it came to me...
Hank Scorpio, from the Simpsons, was right in his approach.
So many time I have seen people get hired only for the company to get a less-than-optimal performance from them.
But why is this? Of course, it is many factors but one of the major ones is...
Employers seem to lump employees in together and assume that since most developers operate in one way that the new devs should be the same way.
The problem with this seems to be that we are all pandering to the lowest common denominator.
Let's face it, most devs (like most people) are not good, and almost everyone is not living up to their potential because of a lack of understanding of themselves and how they can achieve more.
On top of that, most devs are just employees who will do what you tell them to.
Since those above developers are the norm (Reference Seinfeld "95% of people are undatable") we have to assume that there is a 5% who are exceptional.
The difference between the 5% and the 95% is NOT some built-in superiority but that the 5% has a good idea themselves and an understanding of how to get the most out of them. They set goals and then find the right path to achieve them. They don't coast.
By assuming these developers are the same as the others is REALLY hampering their potential and by doing this the company only hurts itself.
So, that's a lot of talking but what actionable things can be taken away from this?
Hank asks Homer "What is your dream?"
Well, employeers should take the time to identify which of these developers are in the 5%. A problem arises though when the 5% decide it is in their best interest to blend in.
Like when home says his dream is to "Work for you?" Hank shuts him down and wants to get to the truth. He makes Homer comfortable with not only vocalizing but achieving his dreams.
When an employer is looking for their types they should be looking for the following...
1. A real genuine desire to achieve
2. A real plan to get their goals done
3. Critical thinking and self-evaluation
But more importantly, when they identify these types they should be asking questions like...
- How can we help you be more productive?
- Is there anything about our current operating norm that is hindering you?
- How does your productivity workflow look?
3 difficulties arise though…
1. Most hiring managers are incompetent, and quite frankly, everyone thinks they are in the 5% and for those managers who delude themselves into this without putting in the work, they will have an impossible time actually identifying those who are actually good and productive employees.
2. Showing special treatment to these folks may upset the people below.
3. You will hear things you don’t like…
Examples include…
- That new fancy open-office that you got because it was the trendy thing to do, you might hear that this is a huge hinderance.
- These days people seem to treat devs like nomads, “just give him a laptop and a table and he is fine”!. You may hear that this is complete BS. Real achievers may want a dedicated desk with multiple monitors, a desk with drawers etc.
- This WILL cost you money. I know of developers who cannot work without a dedicated whiteboard. Buy them whatever they need.
- They may want BOTH a standing desk and a chair to sit on.
- Etc.
The point is that it seems to me to be a foolish strategy to tailor your entire company to force everyone into the same work habits. Really good employees have the self-awareness to develop their own productive practices and any keeping of them inside a box will NOT help.27 -
Manager: Why are we missing our deadlines?
Me: Cause we don't own any of the codebase that we work on and have to literally beg to other team for code reviews and deployments, for which it takes long mail chains and meetings. An even before that we(devs) have to explain to them what/why are we doing things, because our Product managers are a bunch of NoGood AHoles. And after all that we finally do some development, in whatever measly time we have left.
Manager: I know all that, tell me why are we missing our deadlines?5 -
managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!
devs: ok...
managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *
managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone
> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE
devs: uh wtf???
one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?
fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit3 -
The best part of being a dev is the constant thrill of constantly fearing you wil fuck something up and bliss of finishing something after so many hours of frustration. We devs are actually more adventurous than we look.. Constantly living on the edge of deadlines.3
-
Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering
The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left
Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.
Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.
Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.
I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work
They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.
I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.
The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.
/Rant about trash humans10 -
And then there was this big review...
DEVs:" this bug is hazardous and needs to be fixed quickly! It could crash a productive system completely!"
CTO and DEV teamlead:" shut up! This big exists more than two years! No customer will ever klick this button!"
--exactly twelve hours later--
Customer:"so we clicked on this button and our system crashed! Can you help us quickly? We are losing money!!!"
CTO in the meeting:"who programmed this shit? Are you insane?"
Teamlead:"you are useless !!"5 -
Start-up: hires 3 junior devs to save money.
Start-up: expects things to get done faster-- BUT-- Start-up keeps adding things to the TO-DO list and backlog-- i.e. it's all relative!!
Start-up: gets angry at 3 junior devs why they can't deliver when they keep adding tasks and ask we fall behind.
Dev team: "Seriously? You hire more devs to finish tasks faster, but you keep adding more than are being finiahed-- obviously it's gonna take longer now regardless"
Git --pull life together2 -
*project manager + designer are showing new designs*
PM: so, can we get some estimates?
Devs (literally all of us): do we have a mockup for this interaction?
Designer: no.
Devs: What about that one?
Designer: not yet.
Devs: What happens when you click here? Hover there? How does this look if I select that option + this option at the same time? Does it make sense that a user can select *this* option with *that* option? They're kind of mutually exclusive.
PM: Well...
BTW: code freeze is in two weeks...4 -
soooo Texas froze before Hell, thought it was never going to happen but it did 🥴
Had a meeting scheduled for today, but since my employees (crucial for the meeting) do not have power I had to reschedule.
VP: I saw that you cancelled the meeting
Me: yes I did sir, my people do not have power at their homes so I decided that we can postpone it for later.
VP: Understandable, I just wanted to see if you guys were ok.
Me: yes sir, we are thank you and yourself?
The rest of the conv was standard pleasantries.
Why can't it be like this for all devs around the world?34 -
I've been wondering for a while, how the backend my team has to use could have so many issues. I was convinced they had no alerting system in place and have been commenting on it for a while now, and complaining about it.
Was on a Zoom call with one of the backend devs today, he shared his screen and had his email open. I saw a folder he had setup called alerts, and sub folders under that. One of them was named the name of the service/app we are using ... it had over 360,000 un-reads ... and emails are automatically deleted after 4 months in my company.
So they have alerts setup, they just don't care ... problem solved. Enjoy your weekend folks!2 -
Manager: We are now using libraries for everything. I estimate based on nothing that this will increase productivity x20.
*Project grinds to a halt while devs scramble to learn/implement new library*
General Manager: Where was the productivity increase?
Manager: Our devs are not willing to learn new things quickly4 -
Client: We want an application such that our users can view the 3D rendering of the building we are constructing for them
PM: That's quite easy, we'll get it done
Client: Oh, and the output should be a PDF document, such that they can view the 3D rendering on a PDF reader on the go
PM: That's not a problem, it'll be done
--Right back at the office--
PM: Hey guys, this is our new project....(rants on)
Lead Dev: (in a world of indescribable world) You mean you agreed to that? That's impossible
PM: Just get it done
I wish non coding PM's asked their devs before agreeing to some alien like features4 -
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
Fuck that fucking company three way while dozens of homeless HIV crack junkies puke and shit their diarrhea on the three bosses!
I can't put it in words how stupid they are!
Let me try to tell you the latest story while I try not to get multiple strokes.
Backstory: We are three devs, all with a TCCI certification. One has been working for us for almost a year, the other one has been working for us since one and a half year. Both are good friends of mine, btw. I have been working there for almost three years.
Fortunately, I am allowed to work on a reasonable computer. The other devs work on PC's with Windows 7 and 8!
One has just 400 MB space left on his drive and has to delete every month some shit because he does not want to be able to call up websites anymore... How awful?!
The PC of the other great Dev Crashes three to six times a day and needs about 30 minutes to start up!
We can be so productive, but...
We told that in February one of our bosses and asked him to buy new hardware. His answer: yes, of course, I understand that, it's my turn (he always says that "ich bin da dran")
We got a new colleague in the middle of this fucking month. She is responsible for conception.
She works on an old notebook, but today she gets a fucking new PC to work on while the devs are trying to weld with a sparkler! Better hardware than every other Dev PC!!!
Guess what? She is the daughter of a friend of one of our bosses!
We are the only devs at this company.
Fuck that fucking company! Fuck that fucking bosses!
I think we don't go to work for that fucking company anymore!6 -
During a company wide status meeting where all product managers, architects and directors assemble:
Me: *A product architect leading a team of devs*
Directors: So are there any issues or risks you see in delivering the next build in target time for Client 1?
Me: There are too many changes in feature requirements. First they said we can use a shared NFS for storage. Now they are asking to switch over to SFTP pull mode.. blah blah..
Directors: Oh I see.. well we can support both solutions then.
Me: But the deadlin..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Will be a good marketing point for future.
Me: But there are too many regressions in integra..
Directors: *ignores what I say* We should also meet deadlines. That is the most important thing.
Me: Its not as easy as 1+1=2.. The team needs more time to..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Ok lets move on to the next point. What about Client 2?
Me:4 -
Good morning everyone^^
I just heard my company is doinig some weird shit.
1. We RECOMMEND doing backups on a USB stick (our customers get a cheap giveaway when they purchase our products).
2. We sell farm controllers with less power than a fucking arduino as "Top Notch technology". (single core 1Mhz, 128MB RAM)
We Devs are not supposed to understand this logic. We shall only "make it faster". If proper solutions are suggested it gets shrugged off as "expensive".17 -
When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".
WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.4 -
Hello devRant and devs!
Next week I am going to attend to a hackathon organised by my study (24 hours) and me and another guy are going together (or, maybe one more person but not sure yet).
We are going as: team devRant!
My idea is to at least do a quick status update/vlog every x hours and maybe a webpage where I update peoples but I was wondering if anyone here would like to see the event, see the updates/vlog stuffs or maybe not at all?
It will also be live streamed onto the internet!
Would like to hear your opinions on this =).16 -
So, Today was the last day of my internship.
and it was a great last day but everything was fine until.
I started my computer and for some reason it got caught up in boot. It didnt start Nautilus.
So i asked a Senior Dev for help. Nice as these Devs are, he helped me look for reasons. And we found them. My ubuntu hadnt had enough disk space to start. (On a side note there is nothing but Atom Firefox and a few files on there.) So we looked for the biggest files in the system and found them. Syslog was 40 Gb big. And if you think that is shocking behold. Because Syslog.1 was 290Gb big.
Not really a rant but a Story.4 -
I'm seeing a pattern here... We devs/testers/sysadmins/etc. don't get to spend too much time outside... We talk about different stuff than most people... We are more intelligent than most people so we don't get their dumb jokes... Most of us like to work at night because that's the time when nobody bothers us...
We don't get a chance to find a girlfriend, we don't understand how it works...
We are doomed13 -
Computer Science is a mysterious world of three kinds of devs, irrespective of what background/profile/language they had/worked in.
The ones at the top, who keep doing crazy shit in big companies or open-source and keep adding material to the unstoppable code flowing. These constitute 5% of the dev community.
The ones at the bottom are the newbies who try to become masters/ninjas of programming by following the shit on the internet but don't understand logic or how things work. This is like 75% of dev community on the web. If you don't agree to that percentage, you don't know the number of students and non-CS people trying to code. I can see hundreds of classmates/colleagues with no understanding of basic Javascript concepts but introducing themselves as a software developer and ruler of the Web.
The remaining 15% in the middle are the "experienced" fellows who keep building shit to get to the top 5%. They work on enterprise/commercial software until the next upgrade and while the wallets keep getting fatter, they don't actually contribute to the community.
This is the part where I want people to understand the power of a dev.
What sets apart programmers/devs from other engineers:
while everyone else is busy solving the current issues/requirements of the world, we devs are the ones who 'build'.
With a right motive, a developer can solve in-numerous problems of the society, be it education, poverty or unemployment.
An experiment by Lee to put data on the web created a world of unforeseeable opportunities.
Hope to see more of Musks and less of Zuckerbergs in the future.9 -
Fuck Google Chrome and fuck you too MSI...
Why the hell would you not allow me to register my motherfucking MSI motherboard without installing Chrome first.
We are now at this point where Web Devs are refusing to make a simple shitty html form work unless it is running in Google Chrome...
You know what? Shove a big fat horse dildo up your ass.. I'm not registering this piece of shit and if I find the dev behind this, I will shove the entire MoBo up their ass without lube just to watch them scream in pain and agony.19 -
There has got to be a vetting option for this shit. The number of green dots asking for easily googleable shit is getting far too annoying and y'all dumbasses answering them in an effort to get upvoted is fucking pathetic.
Google shit, most basic and long term producing ability of anyone in I.T
We are not here to give you pointers, solve homework or teach you shit.
This platform is for pro devs bitching about their workplace.
Tired of mfkers that learn how to hello world and get here
Fuck off.17 -
Lets have a moment of silence for the devs who created IE and Edge.
I'm sure many who worked on them are great devs and at one point were very proud and inspired by their work but upper management ultimately fucked everything up. The IE guys have since been ridiculed and the Edge devs had to create a peice of software that they knew was destined to be one of the most critically reviewed and ridiculed releases ever.
My heart goes out to all of you and we would love to hear your rants. Your welcome here anytime.4 -
So i've spent the day:
a) Finding evidence (again) of product not doing their job, to send on to one of my managers. So we can again discuss why she's still here.
b) Explaining to my iOS developer that although all the devs are in agreement that 2 of them are not pulling their weight and shouldn't be here ... they will definitely still be here because management actually want to keep our multi-timezone setup as they see it as beneficial. We, do not.
c) Having a meeting with another manager, in a different department. (Backstory, a member of their team has had many complaints filed against them by various members of the building, including one from my team). To let them know that my employee felt like you ignored her concerns and complaints and are going to allow this person pass their probation without considering the implications.
I hope to actually find some time in the reminder of the day to actually achieve something, rather than just telling skidmarks that they are in fact skidmarks.
... but probably won't due to 3 hours of pointless back to back meetings, where we answer the same few questions every week.
I really do love being a tech lead. So refreshing. -
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
The sales and business team at my office really look down at the devs. Just because we don't dress in fancy suits doesn't mean we are any less important that those asshats.
In fact we are probably a hell of a lot more useful since they cant land any sales since they barely have any idea what they are selling and the company is rapidly going under.
To give you an idea :
We recently changed office and one of them asked if they had had to be in the same workspace as the developers again?
Why do we need them?
Cant we outsource their jobs ?
Some of them dont even answer when you bid them good morning
And one douche bag even brought his bluetooth radio and refuses to use headphones , he keeps playing shitty music and disturbing us.
The company is kinda fractured and there is poor chain of command, so there is little we can do, telling dev management is fruitless he has no authority over the guy
And the business manager simply said oh you dont like good music then walked off.10 -
Why is there so much hate against QA in general??
I read tons of rants about how bad testers are... and as a dev who does a lot of QA work, IT SUCKS!
We (devs) have to accept that are work needs to be tested! Otherwise we want be successful with our products.
BUT the testers need to know the development business! They should be trained at the same level as the devs are.
BECAUSE if the mug on my desk is smarter than the tester it is not going to work!
If the tester has full access to all the technologies, environments and tools (and are capable of using it) he has the ability to HELP!
I THINK that testing should be more than just follow predefined steps and let a random tool generate a bugreport.
I am sure that some of you are lucky enough to work with highly skilled testers so please let them help18 -
Why its so hard to understand that - not always... - frontend devs will give you a sweet ui with medium back end and back end devs are gonna give you a medium ui with sweet back end?
Why can't we just do what nature made us good for and work in collaboration?
Fuck7 -
We are devs right?
We have cpus and gpus lying around right?
We are still alive... right? 🤔
How about we do our part and utilise our PCs for helping with COVID-19 research.
I've stumbled across this little tool that not only keeps me warm at night but helps researchers with several diseases.
https://foldingathome.org/iamoneina...
It's like a a bitcoin miner but for research purposes, no it's not a dodgy bitcoin miner.
Oh and feel free to keep yourself anonymous as there are stats that will identify your username - when they work.
There are installers for windows, Mac, and linux distros so everyone can get involved.29 -
Devs in our country are people who will allways have a job. Because companies here need us more than we need them. That's why we have 2x(jr-mid), 3x, 4x (mid), 5x+ (sr) average earnings country-wide.
Job is good, perks are nice, hardware is awesome (idk when was the last time I worked with anything weaker than i7), internet is brilliant (one of the best in the world; I think we have recently lost the "best internet in the world" title recently to some other country). Companies are fighting over us, offering better salaries, better terms. I was even bold enough to list my terms in LinkedIn's summary section and still I am getting offers :D
Devs' life is awesome here :)8 -
!rant
*me trying to add one more field to a SQL request*
*asks coworker* Hey, do you know how I'd get this field? You have to go through 4 tables just to find it because of the way the tables are related.
*coworker looks for a bit* Oh. That's crazy. We should ask the DBA.
*we ask our 60 year old DBA for some help.*
He walks us through a minefield of inner and outer joins and selects and we finally arrive at a solution. Kudos to our DBA, who in the eyes of us young devs is a wizard.3 -
Other PM: We must fix the database performance issues now.
Me: We can't. We're still only halfway on the dependency chain to tackle this and honestly, even if the dependency chain would be fulfilled, I'd leave at least 2 weeks monitoring the production after the changes were rolled out before we further poke around.
Other PM: This is taking far too long. And whaddya mean by dependency chain? Why was I not informed about this?
Me: *sigh* like in every meeting in the last weeks: the dependency chain are the current open blockers before we can proceed with the database changes. We've talked about this _at length_... Especially why these blockers exist.
Other PM: No, we need to start now. I've _examined_ at the blockers or "dependency chain" as you call it.
(Examined.... He opened on his currently streaming laptop, which was connected to the active beamer, the mentioned ticket with a detailed blocker ... And quickly scrolled. Yeeah. Warmonger...).
Me: I'm very tired of discussing this. But since you are already presenting us the ticket, read out the referenced meeting notes... We explained it in great detail.
Other PM: Why? This is just a waste of time!!!!!!!
--
Yes. This happened. Other PM was my nemesis.
In this meeting were 2 PMs (Him, Me)… I think 5 - 7 devs... And we were sitting in this meeting since 2 hours at least. Everyone was angry...
After this "manifesto of intelligence"… I simply left the room, followed by a few devs.
And yes. Other PM did this on a regular basis....5 -
Just finished our BIG update including a big change in the backend (PHP => NODEJS). So I hope our users will enjoy this one because we are not yet public and our competitor get a lot of clients each day but if we compare our product to their product: Ours is responsive as fucked and have much more stability but less fonctionnalities so we have to add more fonctionnalities before releasing our product to the public. I hope we will be able in a few weeks! With only me and my back-end dev (My employee and friend at the same time) to work on it and they have 2 more devs to their team to use Bubble.. (They are now 6 or 8 devs (wannabes and using a drag and drop website) in total vs 2 (us) real programmers).
A well deserved night of sleep :P3 -
I'll start this by saying that i am neutral to Linux. I don't hate it but sure as hell don't like it either. But this still pisses me off. Fucking leftists and feminists are dictating how the Linux community should operate and doing so in the most disgusting way possible.
Those cock haters claim they are for inclusiveness but then create a code of conduct that is against white males.
We never cared about race or gender before. But because of actions like this we are starting to treat people differently based on gender and race. It is like we are going backwards instead of progressing and this is because of their "progressive" ideas.
Fuck you, you are making programming not fun anymore.
For me, I'll keep calling a spade a spade and don't give a fuck about anybody's feelings. We all should be doing this to combat this dumb shit being shoved down our throats.
For reference, I'm talking about this https://lulz.com/linux-devs-threate...25 -
Code review time:
Hey Rudy, can you approve my PR? ??? Shouldn't it be can you review my PR?(thought to myself)
Anyway, as a new practice, we(royal we) do not approve PRs with js files. If we touch one, we convert it to typescript as part of a ramp up to a migration that never seems to get here. But I digress.
I look at the laziest conversion in history.
Looked like
Import 'something';
Import 'somethingElse';
Import 'anotherSomething';
export class SomeClass {
public prop1: any;
public prop2: any;
public prop3: any;
public doWork(param: any){
let someValue = param;
// you get the idea
return someValue;
}
}
Anyway, I question if all the properties need to be visible outside of the class since everything was public.
Then if the dev could go and use type safety.
Then asked why not define the return type for the method since it would make it easier for others to consume.
Since parts of the app are still in js, I asked that they check that that the value passed in was valid(no compilation error, obviously).
Also to use = () => {} to make sure "this" is really this.
I also pointed out the import problem, but anyway.
I then see the his team leader approve the PR and then tell me that I'm being too hard on his devs. ????
Do we need to finish every PR comment with "pretty please" now?
These are grown men and women, and yet, it feels oddly like kindergarten.
I've written code in the past that wasn't pretty and I received "WTF?" as a PR comment. I then realized I ate sh*t on that line of code, corrected it and pushed the code. Then we went to Starbucks.
I'm not that old(35), but these young devs need to learn that COMPILERS DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!
Ahhhhhh
Much better.
Thanks for the platform.8 -
Devs: Hey, what should we do?
A:
provide our SDKs for download as easily as possible so that any potential customer can try it out and see how much better we are compared to our competitors?
Or…
B:
Should we lock our SDKs behind a login where the customer needs to create an account and enter the most amount of private information possible, just in case, then also require to create some security access tokens that he needs to configure in his app to have access to our service via the sdk and also hide all of the documentation behind a login which requires some permission based roles to access and also make the sdks closed source so that it’s a pain in the ass to debug and understand?
Marketing people:
B! Definitely B! Make sure to piss off and annoy our customers as much as humanly possible! -
What is it with this team and the developers it attracts. 2 devs joined and left, both had several years of experience, both couldn’t google an issue to save their lives and needed to be helped 24/7.
Now we are mentoring a PHD student for a piece of his project. Dude was left stumped by an error message that said “Can’t find file at path ...” because the path didn’t exist. He spent a few hours trying to fix it before asking for help.
How, HOW are people getting through college / university without being able to read, or debug such a simple fucking error message2 -
She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
So lately I've been seeing a lot of hate towards languages like C, C++ and java.
Someone at work literally said go would replace C++ and that anyone still using it is a dinosaur.
He said no one uses this languages anymore.
Am I just being left behind or are most real time devs not using C et al anymore.
I mean c++ has a 2017 update and we work with devices for aviation and the like that need to be certified I don't see go becoming our main language anytime soon.
I'm not saying go isn't a good language I'm just saying the others aren't at the point where we take them out back and shoot them.21 -
"What we can do to get all on time? ", manager asks
"Can we have 4 more developers on the project?", dev asks
"No, that's not gonna happen. Let's be realistic", manager says
"Is it realistic to ask 3 devs to ship 20 features in a week, reviewed and tested?" dev asks
"Actually 2 of you, because our contractor goes into a vacation. But you can do overtimes, can't you?"
"I prefer not to but even in that case I can't guarantee that as it's not realistic. But at least can I leave earlier and work more from home more because there are severe delays on the train lines and if I have to commute 4 hours a day it won't help", dev says
"Well, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You have to communicate with people, you know. We have to ship things. But we can discuss this tomorrow as I have to leave early today. I have to take my kids from school"
Really? Wtf?4 -
The management brought some devs from another outsourcing company into our project to overcome the fact that we, the existing developers, are retarded. We are retarded because they change the scope continously (aka daily) and we can’t keep track with their requests. They want something and after we implement it, they want it changed. Completely.
Instead of getting the project and deep dive into it using the materials (setup, architecture etc.) I prepared along the way, their PM said that we have to make some low level knowledge transfer. This knowledge transfer session happened on Friday.
The presenters were me and one of my colleagues. After 2 hours of training, we found out that the supposed senior devs don’t know how to use GIT, they don’t have a clue about Spring nor Angular (nor any SPA framework), their only questions were ‘why didn’t you use X?’ (where X = bootstrap, jQuery etc.) etc.
What is even funnier: during the presentation we were asked to keep a screen sharing opened during working hours for a couple of days just so the new devs could see how we are working.
Guess what happened with the scope on Friday evening: it changed again because ‘you got new devs so there will be multiple resources to handle tasks’.
2 more weeks and i’m out of there...7 -
Third World country: *has power outage because of corrupt government*
Our outsourced devs: Hey sorry boss, we will not be able to work today because there was a power outage. We'll make it up for it during the weekend! We're saving up for a power generator so this doesn't happen again!
Manager: These lazy @#$@ (racial slur) are so lazy and stupid!8 -
SeniorDev: "If we were only allowed to use C# 6 features, we could reduce our code base by 30%"
- other devs nodding their heads in agreement -
Me: "So, are you going to change our entire code base to be C# 6 compliant?"
SeniorDev: "Uh, oh hell no."
Me: "So those C# 6 features are going to reduce our code base by 0%?"
SeniorDev turns around without saying a word.
Getting a bit awkwardly quiet now. Better watch my back.4 -
I don't understand why so many devs complain about not having money or complain about the company that they work for. We literally have the skills to do whatever the fuck we want in today's world. Literally everything is structured around what we do. If you hate your life so much, do something about it. Granted, I understand if you live somewhere that doesn't allow you to control your own destiny but I'm pretty sure that the majority of the people on this app has the ability to do so. The rewards are endless if you decide to think outside the box just a little bit. Sorry, this has just been on my mind for a while and decided to rant about it here since that's what this app is for.14
-
Ok, so I work at this "Great" company. I joined a new team recently with a project that is supposed to be a lot better than many of the other projects we have.
THESE MOTHEERRRRRFUCKERS don't even have hot reload on the app. You have to rebuild the app everytime you make a change. Are you kidding me?! We are using React. One of the basics of React is hot reload. I get into a fucking meeting and one of the devs is like, "I have one important thing to tell you, don't use hooks (a not so new feature in react yet something everyone should use at this point)" and the critical reason we don't use it is because they don't want to confuse the Java devs who are used to their little oop style o_O
Maaaan fuck your developers, it's not my fault you guys can't learn something so simple like functional programming. I haven't even started a sprint yet, I'll burn this app and make you rewrite it all.15 -
I love this app. With such an active community, it's heartwarming to see things like "dfox +1'd your want", and not uncommon. We are part of a wonderful app where you can tell the devs care because they themselves are super active users of the app too.
Much appreciation devs and other community celebs, keep on being awesome.1 -
recently people have been worried about what people were going to say I.e "no hate" , don't hold back!
In devrant we only mean light hearted banter if we are pissed we don't want to hurt you we are pissed at a thing and not directly at you. Not that I speak for dfox or trogus but I'm sure that's what they are going for, and it's what ive seen!
We are nice here... This isn't YouTube , it's a credit to devs we are nice people. Hell it isn't stack overflow!
Also I'm brutally honest at times but I love you really.10 -
My boss pays me well and treats me well, but he expects me to do project management (documentation, giving tasks to 2 junior devs, reviewing their code, helping them when they are stuck), coding, architecture and to finish the project in a time record time.
When I told him that this week I will not work on development but will start to do documentation because the project got so big that it is difficult to keep track, and also the other 2 developers are waiting for tasks for me to give them, he looked disappointed.
I noticed and told him that if he wanted to speed up development, he must hire another project manager, or another senior developer because I can not do them both and expect to finish in a record time.
He keeps asking almost every day, "When are we going live?"2 -
Our company maneuvered themselves into a classic technical debt situation with a project of a second team of devs.
They then left, signing a maintenance contract and now barely work on the project for exorbitant amounts of money.
Of course management got the idea to hand off the project to the first team, i.e. our team, even though we are not experts in that field and not familiar with the tech stack.
So after some time they have asked for estimates on when we think we are able to implement new features for the project and whom we need to hire to do so. They estimates returned are in the magnitude of years, even with specialists and reality is currently hitting management hard.
Code is undocumented, there are several databases, several frontends and (sometimes) interfaces between these which are all heavily woven into one another. A build is impossible, because only the previous devs had a working setup on their machines, as over time packages were not updated and they just added local changes to keep going. A lot of shit does not conform to any practices, it's just, "ohh yeah, you have to go into that file and delete that line and then in that other file change that hardcoded credential". A core platform is end of life and can be broken completely by one of the many frameworks it uses. In short, all knowledge is stowed away in the head of those devs and the codebase is a technical-debt-ridden pile of garbage.
Frankly I am not even sure whom I am more mad at. Management has fucked up hard. They let people go until "they reached a critical mass" of crucial employees. Only they were at critical mass when they started making the jobs for team 2 unappealing and did not realize that - because how could they, they are not qualified to judge who is crucial.
However the dev team behaved also like shitbags. They managed the whole project for years now and they a) actively excluded other devs from their project even though it was required by management, b) left the codebase in a catastrophic state and mentioned, "well we were always stuffed with work, there was no time for maintenance and documentation".
Hey assholes. You were the managers on that project. Upper management has no qualification to understand technical debt. They kept asking for features and you kept saying yes and hastily slapped them into the codebase, instead of giving proper time estimates which account for code quality, tests, reviews and documentation.
In the end team #2 was treated badly, so I kinda get their side. But up until the management change, which is relatively recent, they had a fantastic management who absolutely had let them take the time to account for quality when delivering features - and yet the code base looks like a river of diarrhea.
Frankly, fuck those guys.
Our management and our PM remain great and the team is amazing. A couple of days a week we are now looking at this horrible mess of a codebase and try to decide of whom to hire in order to help make it any less broken. At least it seems management accepted this reality, because they now have hired personnel qualified to understand technical details and because we did a technical analysis to provide those details.
Let's see how this whole thing goes.1 -
You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!2
-
Starting this week, we are gonna start "ScreenShotSunday" where devs will post screenshot of what he/she accomplished over weekend 🙌🏼 Don't forget to tag post with "ScreenShotSunday" ✌🏼️More details soon.2
-
Devs: We fixed a bug, so watch out for some changes.
Management: The new values are too bad, you need to change it back.
Devs: But ... it was a bug?
Management: Rollback ... now!
I swear, the moment shareholders are involved, management is just about who has the best lie.1 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
Jesus titty fucking Christ people are stupid. I hate everyone in the software development lifecycle that isn’t a developer or isn’t technically minded. Everyone else seems to be a fucking goofy arse mother fucker.
I just got in trouble because I fixed a defect that never should have been fixed, even though in yesterdays standup they brought it up and asked me what the status of it was. Apparently I was just supposed to estimate the defect and see how long it would take to fix. Why the fuck wouldn’t we do that in a grooming session or a sprint planning session, you are just begging to confuse the devs. Absolute mud sharks.9 -
At one of my former jobs, we devs had to do all sorts of non-dev work, such as writing quotes and even contracts!
The CEO of that company had this naughty habit to contact devs directly without delegating through the CIO. Sure, if it's really urgent like when some system is down because of a bug, go ahead and disturb a dev. But interrupting coders to write some freaking quote? Come on!...
Once, that CEO asked me to stop everything I was doing to write a quote to a customer ASAP, as this was really urgent.
I spent several hours writing that quote. It had to be done right as any specifications in our quotes were used in our agreeements and were referred to in the case of any dispute. So not only were we devs and salesmen in the same time; we also needed to be lawyers.
When I was done and delivered the quote to the CEO, he told me he had no intention to take on that customer in the first place. Instead, he wrote a polite we-are-not-interested e-mail to the customer and cc:d it to me just so that I could read for myself how very sleek a businessman he was.
Me: why did I have to write that quote when you knew all along that you were not going to use it anyway?
Him: It's for your own personal development.
Another naughty habit of that same CEO is that he made "jokes" and remarks that I found inappropriate, such as "You walk like a drunken sailor".
Later, he decided to discontinue our team/product because "it isn't proftable". Well, what do you expect when devs are forced to waste half day completing pointless tasks?!
It was for the better anyway, and I was actually relieved when I left the company. I'm still thinking though, that the real reason he sacked me is that I am too honest and not the docile kind of employee that would be ideal for him. I did question some of my tasks, and worst of all: I didn't laugh at his stupid jokes.1 -
!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.
Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base
New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!
No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!
Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place. -
We devs are rather pessimistic when it comes to User intelligence... Trust us... bad things can and will happen, and in a Universe of infinitesimally many choices, it does not come as a surprise that someone will fuck everything up badly.2
-
My company has two offices in separate cities but they treat each the devs of each location very very differently.
In one office the devs get full power to experiment with whatever tech they want, they just stomp their feet and management gives em whatever they ask for, freedom of choice regarding anything they are working on, to be allowed to do greenfield work or experimental stuff
But in my office we are forced to do ONLY. Bug fixing and refactoring shitty code from over a decade a go, our tech is ancient and we are not allowed to to
Shit , anything we ask for is denied
And improvements to our process is shut down with the reasoning that whatever we got works so why meddle ??
For us , management is solely focussed on making sure we respond to support calls , deployments , configurations and little bug fixing. Basically they only care that we manage to finish for out next delivery.
No new work whatsoever!
If there is any hint of something new to to
Implemented the golden boys from the other office just stopm their feet tillmthey get it or just go off and start working on it then seek permission afterwards, with their much larger team they obviously get further than we do by the time management hears about it so they end up taking over the work since they already have more done already
My manager decided to push us to attend a company devCon to share ideas with our devs from our other location. This rapidly turned into a sour experience
Basically we do all shitty boring work which puts money on the table which goes straight to those idiots to play with...
They have the guts to laugh when we mentioned that we never get anything interesting to work on
Never seen so many of our devs looking up job sites on the bus back...
This is gonna blow up in management's face...2 -
The most unproductive meeting was definitely a day long meeting about “inclusiveness” with an emphasis on toxic masculinity. It was all the dev teams for a whole day which was ballpark 40-60 devs total. Most of us were like, “We have never even had a woman on our teams to alienate.” Eventually a dev hiring manager allowed the three female devs to leave half way through because they were being repeatedly singled out by the HR lady running the meeting.
The rest of us sat through another half day of the HR lady telling us on how bad we are because we are men.16 -
PM is such a fucking cunt
telling me that my data structures describing the layout of binary data would be confusing for devs, and that we shall introduce
typedef fuckingRetardedObfuscatingName uint8_t;
in our code. everyone is fine with the concepts i provide to describe this binary data, not only at our company but also in other software i've worked on and common standards i've worked with, we work like that and every fucking idiot knows what a uin8_t is.
you fucking braindead imbecile have no fucking idea how we work and you don't care, you don't even try to understand what we are doing.
god i hope you die being hit by a fucking bus or something8 -
Why the fuck do we set time based deadlines on projects/goals/sprints?
The only way to know accurately how long it would take is if you've done it before. And if you've done it before why are you coding it again?
And of course when these deadlines aren't met it's rarely the manager that gets shit; it's the devs who failed to meet a guess.47 -
My company’s upper leadership is sooo focused on the NUMBER of defects that are open on our project and only the number. We give each defect a priority of P0, P1, or P2. You would think this would help prioritize and strategize our plan to fix them. But nope. Every week we have some arbitrary “goal” to hit. A number purely made up by clueless leadership as to what makes a “quality” product.
On Friday’s, managers start harassing devs to merge their fixes and for QA to close out defects. So effectively rushing to hit that arbitrary number or else we’ll have to work Saturday.
Meanwhile they want more test automation coverage to reduce the incoming defect rate. But when the fuck do we have time to develop said tests when all you want is the defect closed to bring down your precious little number?!
They’d rather us close 25 P2 defects to bring the number down rather than 10 P0 or P1 defects. These leaders are so incompetent it kills me! Without any back story, they’re ultimately the reason we’re in this position in the first place! Argghhh!2 -
So in my 6 ppl dev team management had to do cuts and pulled a jira report of story points sum of the past 10 months, it went like this:
1. 307
2. 307
3. 283
4. 274
5. 257
6. 220
The 6. Guy is a teamlead so he was safe. 4 and 5 guys were fired with zero notice and 1 weeks severance pay (we are contractors).
Best part is that remaining 2. And 3. devs produce very low quality code. But hey, they have enough story points. Managament didnt even bother to discuss with teamlead about who to keep. Workload is the same, we were told to "level up".
You can't make this shit up. US based startups man.11 -
I've talked in past rants about how marketing loves showing off features to customers that are still in Beta to give us devs more pressure to finish them earlier, but it really just ends up screwing up our schedule since we have to push back on other features.
We had warned them not to do so for a series of reasons. But this time, this time their bad practices has come back to bite them in their butts.
They've been bragging all over to customers about this API integration we've been developing. They caught a reasonable amount of customers whose main reason for hopping in with us was this API integration. We finished the code on time, and submitted to the API provider for them to revise our "app". It's been a long back-and-forth conversation clarifying purposes and trying to fix tiny details and, of course, the providers' emails take almost a week to come back. We're waayy past the deadline marketing had promised customers, and they know they can't really blame the devs.
Sucks to lose these customers, but it feels so good to show these marketing pricks a lesson.2 -
So, we’ve a small UK based dev team, we follow good practices and get good results. But ‘they’ want to deploy quicker (it was suggested we skip the test phases...) but don’t want to invest in more staff.
So their suggestion is to outsource development to Bangladesh and have us in-house devs work on discovery and innovation.
I’m uncomfortable with this as it feels they are thinking they can get quicker and cheaper dev done abroad (which I hate as it feels disrespectful to my fellow dev brothers n’ sisters).
Also disjointed as in my experience planning and dev’ing work best when you can talk face-to-face.
Thoughts?4 -
You have 5 devs on a team at least 3 of them are working on the same code and there is no version control and we have to rely on looking at when the file was last modified....FML!!!11
-
Facebook: Ok, so we have this really cool idea for native Android and iOS app with React
Devs: Nice!
Facebook: Its gonna take away the need to work with native code!
Devs: Great!
*Reality comes in*
Reality: To make anything work you need to modify native code and use more hacks than there are useless npm packages18 -
Worst recruiter experience:
Recruiter sets up interview with a company. I get to their office - the most packed place I have ever seen - devs practically sitting on each other, and the QA guys are being used as chairs....
So I wait for 15 minutes near the doot till the interviewer gets to me through the incredibley noisy openspace, and shakes hands. We go into a mess of a meeting room - and he explains that they will be moving to a bigger office soon. I say - looks like you should have moved by now....
Anyways - he askes me to tell him about myself - and I explain my background, Focusing on Android dev experience - The recruiter told me this was a senior Android dev position. The interviewer has a huge question mark above his head, but waits for me to finish. Then he tells me: so... no backend experience? so Now I have a huge question mark above my head...
turns out he is looking for BackEnd devs - Not android devs.1 -
Senior developer just showed me a "competitor" that seems to do things waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than us on his web site and was telling me:
Senior: damn, I wish I could figure out how they do this. I've been trying for so long...
I write the URL on chrome with dev tools open and literally the first thing that comes on the console is a nice greeting from their devs with links to they github repositories, ends up they are open source...
And now I'm here thinking "WTF!!!! WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THINGS THIS WAY?"3 -
To all the people who constantly complain about devRant not being good enough…
First off, who the fuck cares? I mean honestly, does anyone give a fuck? People have been saying for YEARS that they hate devrant and that it needs to change in whatever fucked up dev idea way that we all think the world should actually work. The real fun is how this platform evolves into different phases over time. The fun is interacting with devs anonymously talking about really anything. It doesn’t matter - as long as it’s interesting or entertaining it’s fine. Don’t fucking pretend that you are a goddamn professional elitist asshole bc we all know everyone here is weird and stupid.8 -
How do you guys/girls explain to potential new customers that you can perfectly work in a structured business environment and follow the rules, but also that you're assertive enough to oppose desicions being made based on bias, misunderstanding, fanboyism, or grave stupidity.
I just got informed from a freelance position that they would have hired me if it were not for my 'rebellious nature towards customers'
I don't oppose customers, i oppose stupidity unfounded.
Example from experience
> me working in a helodesk support position, all windows computer.
> new mgr comes into office, is a douche and complete mac fanboy
> wants all computers that are FINALLY working decent for some time in the entire department replaced with mac's... Back at 2010.
> whole team, even disliking microsoft themselves, are telling mgr that's a bad, dangerously dumb idea, expensive too, different OS, different software mgmt making, back then integration microsoft and apple was beyond diarhea... Several other issues the senior devs and admins pointed out
>mgr: 'but aple is soh much better, like a billion times better, hurrduurrrrr'
His decision passed somehow to the board..
> All stations from our customers get changed...we don't get a single machine to try out problems because overspending
> we are most of the time unable to help out customers because we still have pc's...
> mgr asks team why performance drops after 1 month
> we compared performance graph with his starting date of mgr, see clear drop after mgr's plan implemented...
> board stilll stands by mgr, gets praise for 'bold changes in the company', but appears to be some associate's son
> two main seniors leave after 15 years of employment, in three months, 80% of staff leaves.
> we canr fix the problems, we are not dev's , we get shit from all sides, i was still a junior in the industry so i worked as a slave inside that job.
> eventually get fired due to 'bad performance'
> mgr loses entire team... 'Hey why don't we outsource this dept to south africa, it's a lot cheaper! '
now that company is an it hellhouse where everyone get clinically depressed from sitting atbtheir station...
This is what i wish to oppose!
How to make that clear!4 -
My current dream project is sailing a 21st Century Message in a Bottle across the Atlantic Ocean from US to Europe, satellite tracking it in apps and desktop environment and more importantly inspiring school children everywhere that anything you can imagine is possible. Fortunately, the project is rapidly becoming a reality - here's how:
- teamed with a few amazing devs virtually
- team created an effective infrastructure for communication and knowledge sharing
- researched oceanic patterns, satellite communications, sensors, material design, recovery logistics...
- developed budget and received funding sign off
- created realistic, yet aggressive project plan with deliverable dates
- built relationships with two Universities for Oceanic knowledge assistance
- developed a partnership with NOAA and will share info
Oh yeah, we did all that and are having fun in only 25 days so far! More challenges to come but we embrace the challenges!1 -
Colleague while reviewing my latest commit.
Him: Hey, RemusWasTaken, why did you leave this debug log in here?
Me: That function won't work unless I leave that line exactly there.
Him: It can't stay, come here so we can fix it.
Three hours of debugging later, this Friday afternoon.
Him: Okay, I give up. Let's leave it there for now.
Me: I did the same thing yesterday. Time well spent.
Nodejs is weird sometimes, or we are incompetent devs.5 -
Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?4 -
My designer just had an user interview where the user is a developer and my designer showed him the mock-ups of a no code tool that we are building, asking the dev for his input.
She literally had a session with a guy announcing him that we are building a tool that will put him out of work and moreover asked him for inputs so that we miss no use case.
And in another story, one of my dev lead decided to decommission an entire feature and replace it will a hacky solution because the devs in her team were not comfortable using the current design in their development stage. Hence, without user research, any strong use case, or considering business implications, she went ahead and drafted the entire approach on how to fuck everyone.
I am out of my honeymoon phase at my new org and I am scared. Shit scared.16 -
Today I told 3 devs that they either get their shit together or they can pack their things and look for a job.
I can get easily pissed, but it's rather rare for me to get to that point easily.
Now my dear friends, can you guess what they did?
I give you a hint...
They made a test suite validating a network library.
So we have roughly 200 plus lovely splitted tests, neatly put in a directory structure - lovely organization.
(I might have written in the ticket that as a requirement... Cause I know my lil hellspawns)
But as I started looking at some tests, there was always something missing...
Network library...
So we needed to create an endpoint... And handle of course the tests communication with the endpoint *somewhere*.
I'd guess you know already what these mofos did...
Yeah. We have one class.... That handles all tests endpoints... Via different methods... Plus additional methods like utility functions....
The ticket was easy they said.
Me chewing their heads off was easy too.
Jesus Christ, I really doubt sometimes that some devs are able to go to a toilet.
Maybe thats the reason some wear baggy pants - easier to hide the pampers.
*rolls eyes*5 -
Fuck jQuery. The only reason I see anyone using it legitemately is because of backwards compatibility. Almost every jq method is either native js or native css. The problem is, some devs become practically dependent on a library. By then, they are no longer js devs. They are jQuery devs. When you find yourself going to the docs of a lib before native methods 9 times out of 10 you've gone past the turning point. When you find yourself including jQuery instinctively, you're gone. StackOverflow is a great example of this:
Question - 1 up
Pure JS answer - 0 ups
jQuery answer (same length) - 2 ups and accepted
Come on man. It's 2018! We shouldn't be writing jQuery anymore. Native methods ftw!15 -
Dear Tailwindcss,
Fuck you.
Fuck you and your messy as fuck html files.
Fuck your shitty pseudo 90s 'Let's dump all our shit in a single html file'.
Fuck your claims of being responsive, most of your widths and heights are done in FUCKING PIXELS.
Fuck your claims of being flexible, adding a 10% width class took 20 minutes of scrolling through your shitty docs.
And the worst part is, the poor devs 4 years from now are gonna be stuck maintaining this goddamn shit because shitty enterprise companies desperately trying to stay relevant are treating this shit like the Holy God of Frontend styling, the solution to CSS once and for all
FUCKING IDIOTS CSS ISN'T BROKEN, THIS GARBAGE IS!!!! WE DON'T NEED A SHITTY SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM THAT DOESN'T EXIST
Tailwind can go fuck itself with it's 200 character html lines9 -
Just learned that yesterday someone suggested putting the dev team on "workspace", when I was on leave.
My first question, "what the hell is workspace?"
"It's a remote environment..."
Okay I get it. Are you kidding me? Doing development on remote desktop?
My second question, "Why the hell did someone suggest that?"
"We have had issues with devs using MySQL but the target prod will be using PostgreSQL. That caused issues, inconsistencies... And we found some issues after deployment."
Okay so much for DB agnostic. I called it out that everyone now install PostgreSQL on local. Problem solved, hopefully.
Why we had MySQL in the first place? Yes DB agnostic is one of the reason. The other being I'm more familiar with MySQL so it's quicker to perform tasks (like "can you clone that environment for me" and "can you fix the data on XYZ"). But that's trivial.
Just some ridiculous suggestion that set me off.7 -
A note to my team, who I hope never actually reads this.
To my manager: Grow a fucking spine, you asshat! We literally ignore you, you are useless!! Other people do your job, and you can't even talk to your reporting person directly! You have us do it!
To my tech lead: You are crazy, but in a good way! I have no idea how you cram so much work into so little time, and I would march into hell for you. You are in the trenches with us, and I respect you greatly!
To dev number 1: You are hard working, but stop modifying my code and breaking it!
To the other devs: If you leave 4 hours before the tech lead anymore, I will beat you to death with a cum filled sock! My rage fucking erection is that strong!
To everyone else: fuck you!10 -
Jesus, using vim in browser is such a beautiful thing, thought it's pointless.
Also, FUCK managers/bosses that change their technologies for no fuckin reason.
I didn't spend 1+ month to learn .NET core, which is a fine piece of tech and you suddenly come and say that we should move to PHP because the new guys you hired are PHP devs and don't know a single line of .NET.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK.
TAKE YOUR PHP AND SHOVE IT UP TO YOUR ASS.10 -
Oh how I like devrant everyday more and more- can you imagine if every job kind would have something like .this? (e.g waiter.Rant) this is so inspiring how everyone is opening up and speaking about motivation, inspiration, fails, mistakes. We are not perfect and we should learn from each other, so the message the devrant unconditionally says is 'be opened ' speak up . P.s this is like coffee for thinking, stimulates to not just sit and work but think and inspire Do something bigger and share , Move your thoughts thank you devs especially founders2
-
NEW TALES FROM THE FUCKING CRYPT. It's disgusting...
... how managers keep to invest money into totally useless gadgets at the company to keep themselves motivated with stupid toys, tech and gear. WHY in fucks name would you not spend the money on hiring more devs and a dev consultant?
It's funny how they presented the stats first: "yea well we have ten big projects in dev right now" (we are FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE, tells you everything, right) "... BUT WE HAVE BOUGHT NEW SCOOTERS FOR THE COMPANY!".
Ok... why though? Who would actually use those things except the ones that bought them. Just another way of spending more money to reduce the promised employee return on the company's profit...2 -
Because of some theft this year and even though we already have security cameras, my apartment building decided to check the front door locks so it's more secure.
This key looks very high tech... Only issue though is I never use the key anyway... I just entered the door code...
So what is the point of changing the locks? I'm going to guess whoever is stealing isn't picking the lock... People would notice... They must know the code.
Also it seems most of the apartment locks are digital key card/pins too. Wondering if this just means most owners are young or just are techies/devs...10 -
Ok, time to eat some humble pie. I seem to remember ranting about the fact we were going to use an offshore dev house a while back, and I'd convinced myself they were going to be absolutely useless.
Far from it. It's certainly meant I've had something else to do in managing them, and I can't say everything has been completely rosy - but overall, they're a bunch of hard working, decent devs who write good, well-tested code, are receptive to feedback in code reviews and take the initiative and ask questions when they need to. Shame on me for initially thinking otherwise - I'll miss working with them when I leave this place.3 -
!rant
How I think the process for designing a hardware-driver is like
CEO: "Alright everyone, we have designed and created this great product, now let's write a driver for it!"
PM: "Great then! We just code for Windows, create an eye-catching UI but leave the actual at the worst possible case that could work!"
Dev: "B-But isn't there other OSes, like Linux and Android that people use on their computers too?"
PM: "Shut up! We are going to JUST support Windows and f*** no absolutely other OSes!
Dev: "But what if they are also developers, and want to control and use this great product by programming it themselves? We should make the driver open-source, or at least give them some APIs!"
PM: "Nonsense! They are only going to use this product on M$ Windows, and with the program we provide to them, even if it's crappy and crashes most of the time!"
Dev: "But-but..."
PM: "No buts! That's our final decision!"
And some other consumer devs are like, "F*** it, we just reverse-engineer the codes and write a new driver ourselves!"
:|3 -
Got fired today due to one big cunt who just joined to sabotage all junior devs because his older than all of us, im dissapointed at how arrogant some of you old devs are, the good old days development houses used to be fun and young, i respect all of you with great heart but we are not trying to compete with you if we know knew tech better than you, times have changed, if you are still dumb about bootstrap dont hate on anyone but yourself. Grow deFaQuPndStopHating3
-
"Alright everyone, we can't keep this up. Every day our builds are breaking because of test failures."
"We could just be more diligent devs and actually write/update tests based on new behavior we introduce to the system?"
"What? No! We're just going to get rid of all tests!"
a few days later
"Guys!!! Everything's on fire now! How didn't we catch these huge breaking changes!"
https://media3.giphy.com/media/...2 -
My current job at the release & deploy mgmt team:
Basically this is the "theoretically sound flow":
* devs shit code and build stuff => if all tests in pipeline are green, it's eligible for promotion
* devs fill in desired version number build inside an excel sheet, we take this version number and deploy said version into a higher environment
* we deploy all the thingies and we just do ONE spec run for the entire environment
* we validate, and then go home
In the real world however:
* devs build shit and the tests are failed/unstable ===> disable test in the pipeline
* devs write down a version umber but since they disabled the tests they realize it's not working because they forgot thing XYZ, and want us to deploy another version of said application after code-freeze deadline
* deployments fail because said developers don't know jack shit about flyway database migrations, they always fail, we have to point them out where they'd go wrong, we even gave them the tooling to use to check such schema's, but they never use it
* a deploy fails, we send feedback, they request a NEW version, with the same bug still in it, because working with git is waaaaay too progressive
* We enable all the tests again (we basically regenerate all the pipeline jobs) And it turns out some devs have manually modified the pipelines, causing the build/deploy process to fail. We urged Mgmt to seal off the jenkins for devs since we're dealing with this fucking nonsense the whole time, but noooooo , devs are "smart persons that are supposed to have sense of responsibility"...yeah FUCK THAT
* Even after new versions received after deadline, the application still ain't green... What happens is basically doing it all over again the next day...
This is basically what happens when you:=
* have nos tandards and rules inr egards to conventions
* have very poor solution-ed work flow processes that have "grown organically"
* have management that is way too permissive in allowing breaking stuff and pleasing other "team leader" asscracks...
* have a very bad user/rights mgmt on LDAP side (which unfortunately we cannot do anything about it, because that is in the ownership of some dinosaur fossil that strangely enough is alive and walks around in here... If you ask/propose solutions that person goes into sulking mode. He (correctly) fears his only reason for existence (LDAP) will be gone if someone dares to touch it...
This is a government agency mind you!
More and more thinking daily that i really don't want to go to office and make a ton of money.
So the only motivation right now is..the money, which i find abhorrent.
And also more stuff, but now that i am writing this down makes me really really sad. I don't want to feel sad, so i stop being sad and feel awesome instead.1 -
Sometimes I think that clients see devs as magicians.
It's like we just put a white blanket on the pc and then *poof*, an app is magically created instantly.
We are like DEVid Blaine.3 -
Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.
Later
Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.2 -
i asked my senior "why we need a develop branch" and his reply was "-_-" , literally an emoji.
Ok ,well this might be a stupid question, but i have been in this organisation for 6 months and all this time these guys have not been able to make a proper release. either they miss commits while cherry picking, or they end up reverting stuff, or they are delaying the releases due to QA disapprovals, backend issues or management issues.
i proposed a simpler vcs :
1. `uat` is the source of truth
2. for every release we create a temporary branch `release-x.y.z` from `uat`
3. then we develop every feature in a branch cut from `uat` as `feat-abc`, code in it , and merge it back to `release-x.y.z`
4. finally we merge `release-x.y.z` into `uat`
where is develop branch supposed to be cut?
which branch is supposed to be cut from develop?
which branch is supposed to merge into develop?
where is develop supposed to be merged?
no one has answers to these fucking questions. but still they wanna confuse the whole team of 15+ android and ios devs about how to use which procedure
fml :/10 -
Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.
Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.
But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"
Just shut up lol.12 -
Even though I have 500 reputation on StackOverflow I'm afraid to ask a question! Coz other devs can be really down right mean! No one knows everything, we are all here to learn. Some ppl don't understand that they too started like this.2
-
What is it with devs (not all, by any means!) who don't understand networks or basic computer operation? I'm not talking about anything complex, but things like the dev who asked if his IP address could be whitelisted so he could remote in from home. We asked what his public IP address is and he said 10.0.0.27.
Or the new dev who started and said her laptop camera didn't work and logged a ticket, only to be asked if she had the camera cover open or closed and said, "oh, that's what that lever is for."
Don't get me wrong - many devs and sysadmins and IT people of all fields are excellent. And there are some who are crap in every field. This is no rant about devs in general, just *these* crap devs that I can only throw my hands in the air and think, well, they scored ok in the SQL test.4 -
CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.1
-
There are indie devs which still builds games for the NES or the first GameBoy... and then we have Apple which goes to extra lenghts to ensure which nobody can develop, publish or install new apps on devices which are too old for the newer iOS versions.4
-
The other day I went back to my college representing the company that I work for interviews of Freshers. Since I was taking interviews of my immediate juniors, I knew that every candidate’s major is Computers Applications, and we had sent out a JD ‘specifically’ mentioning that we need Devs, so tech people only.
We interviewed 40 people for first round in total out of which 12 were shortlisted for second round (we made them write some code).
Out of 12, 8 straight up refused to write the code saying they weren’t interested in coding at all (even professionally). Made me boil up so much, someone else, much more deserving and willing could have been in their place and may even have the job. But us humans are always cunts.2 -
Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by idiots. My family are too stupid and lazy to have jobs or do anything involving a skill. They are too dumb to do anything properly so most of the house is fucked.
My co-workers are supposed to be Web devs but cba to learn the frameworks or languages we work on. Some of them have over 5 years experience and don't understand basics like backend verification vs front end.. Or even what json is. Needless to say everything I'm told to do is retarded such as implement roles and permissions where there are no roles, but ot allowed to add roles.
Anyone else surrounded by idiots 90% of the time? How do you not get worn down?2 -
The Cup Saga
My cause is valiant. My warrior's hearts were true... And quite frankly we are sorry if we have offended you.
Background: been missing my favourite cup at the office. I brought said cup from home like many of the devs do, we have our preferences you know? For 3 weeks I have been drinking mediocre coffee and the endless quest for my cup perused... I couldn't find it.. It was just missing.... Where could my trusty cup have gone... Its been with me since my second job in 2014, and its gotten me through so many late nights and early mornings, the reward of the perfect ratio... Turns out... Someone took it because... Well they liked it and habe been holding on to it ever since.... Why? No one really knows.. But I have my cup... And I intend to guard it... Since unlike the other cups it cannot be left in the cupboard.. It has to be defended.... Valiantly we recovered the cup... And tirelessly we will guard it now.. Sweet cup of mine...9 -
This was a long time ago, when I was an 18 year old junior dev in my first job and still studying at college part of the time.
The lead programmer saying things like “we [meaning the experienced devs] are alright if this project goes wrong but you need to prove that you can deliver because you could be out of a job”.
Thanks. Mofo set me right up for lasting confidence issues.
Less than two years later I was killing it when the language they used became object oriented. That asshole couldn’t understand any of the concepts.
That feeing of being out of my depth has lingered though.2 -
Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).
Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?
Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!
Me in my mind: What a prick!
Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?13 -
During a period when devs had been told "The board has been promised that we are improving quality, so you must not do anything but write unit tests", I wrote a unit test that compares the number of system colors in .NET to a constant. It's still running today (a couple of years later).
-
Has anyone else noticed that the notifications screen's title is just "Notifs" even though it could've been "Notifications"?2
-
Why can we all relate to almost every rant for wk24?
Devs could rule the world! Why do we have to endure all of the same crap from India to the UK?
(The recurring meetings and the 'Dynamic Requisits', as I call it, are what bugs me the most!)5 -
Positive story ahead.
Had to try and make a new system on my own in a company with no tech staff. I was scared shitless of the responsibility. About a year later we got 2 new devs and people are somehow paying for our very flawed and incomplete mvp.
It's fulfilling and fun. Taking something from zero and suddenly having an actual application with customers.
The other 2 engineers are fun and we talk shit while coding and teaching each other. We also study new tech every day to keep getting better.
I'm even getting some stocks soon.
Long road ahead but honestly, life's good. -
Company uses Trello to track bugs and features the devs are doing.
End of the week the PM: "So what bugs and features did you work on this week?"
If only there was a platform that we could track all these things... 🤦♂️1 -
I work in a big German company and we are a lot of teams building the company website.
Obviously the website is in German but almost all the devs are not German speakers, included the testers.
To make the work easier in the frontend we use sometimes the translation function of chrome and it's funny because a lot of time I got a bug opened by a tester for a wrong label because HE FUCKING FORGOT TO DISABLE THE TRANSLATION AND HE THINKS THAT THE LABEL IS IN THE WRONG LANGUAGE1 -
PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue
Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that
PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank
Devs: Wtf?
PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!
Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO8 -
I live in a 3rd world country so we don’t have a lot of technological advancements as compared to to developed countries. This means true technological talent is very rare maybe 0.01% of the people in the space, which in this case is programming. Why then do these dumb Fucks who didn’t even score good enough grades to attend any computer science related course which aren’t even that high, so high minded(pun may be intended). Seriously every time i meet someone somewhat capable in their domain e.g. mobile devs or frontend devs, talk like they can move the fucking world and change the course of humanity but when you ask them to pass down the knowledge you will receive a fuck u note of no reply. This pisses me off because I thought because of our slow progress in catching up with the world we would have communities that aim to expand the knowledge of everyone and help everyone help themselves.
I write this because I’ve attended so many meetups around my area and every time I ask someone for help to get to some enlightenment as they have the reply is always put down your email and I’ll send it to you and this is the last you ever hear from them.
The worst part is you’ll see them bragging on local forums about how awesome they are and see them poking holes at other peoples attempts. Seriously if you are so great why aren’t the tech giants of the world salivating over your talents.
Personally I believe that these people are afraid that once they pass the knowledge someone will beat them at it and they won’t be as “awesome” as they initially thought.
That said not everyone is like this we have some good eggs in the basket. To the others I would like to let them know that we can’t know everything and someone somewhere is always gonna be better than us, a candle never loses its light by lighting another candle. If you are one of these people please try and make a change. You never know what’ll come out of it.1 -
What are your thoughts on working for a company that give their devs jira tickets that don't have any descriptions? I work for a big organisation (It's actually in the top 3 biggest companies in the country I live in) and I work in a team that has quite possibly the worst agile practice I've ever seen. We get tickets without any descriptions at all. The worst bit is then we get pressure from project management for not delivering things on time. Do they actually realise how difficult it is to deliver something without any business requirements? I have to have a million meetings before I even know wtf the ticket is about. It's incredibly annoying.13
-
So they give us a stress ball if a rant gets that many "upvotes". I find that really stressful, waiting and waiting.. And never get there. In the end of the day we are stressed af and with no stress ball 😂.
But hey, who da hell get stressed for this little? We devs are already stress free...3 -
A "partner" company has created a "REST" API we use on an online shop we developed to send all shop-related requests to.
At least once a month, something fails on their end and the customer calls us every time, expecting that we did something wrong, but it has never been us.
These "partners" do exactly zero testing, are extremely slow in solving API bugs, have almost no logging and have no monitoring on the API at all.
Today at noon, suddenly no customers were able to order anything anymore for 4 hours.
How the fuck can you run a business so unbelievably brainless that this keeps repeating monthly?
Time they fire all their "devs" and everyone in charge of the company and operations. TERMINATE.13 -
Tech head fires a mail few days company is planning a hackathon. Overnight at office, with food, music and home drop offs in morning. We devs feel excited we will get time to work on our personal projects and complete them.
Yesterday, tech head fires a mail about the topics. Guess what? The topics are projects which company needs to scale up... Image recognition and text extraction. Selenium. Esign.
Now I am searching for an excuse to skip the hackathon...4 -
Grew up with just my brother and mother in Russia. We had very little money so we haven't even seen computers in real life until my mother found a swedish boyfriend and we moved to Sweden the year 2000.
I was 7 years old at the time and I saw my first computer in what I think was the Swedish Migration Board office. The purpose of the computer was for convenient registration for the reception or something, but the first thing I did was found paint and drew some circles, I was completely mind blown!
My mother's boyfriend came and told me not to play with the computer because "I might accidentally install a virus".
A couple of months later we got a PC to share with the whole family, me and my brother were so ecstatic because we have previously only seen them on TV and now for some reason we have one at home "Woooot 😮😮😀"
The problem was that my mother only let me and my brother use the computer on weekends and only for one hour. Somehow this just made me and my brother even more interested in that machine, so we sneaked out from our room at night and played with it.
One night we found out about this great thing called Google and googled "how to program a program" and that's when we fell in love with programming.
When our mother found out she got very angry and disappointed. She was questioning why we were "so much in love with this stupid thing" and said "it's not like you are going to get a job working with it!"
Me and my brother are both devs now. So suck it 🖕🖕🖕1 -
Frustration at its peak !!
So the CTO of the company I recently joined, whom I considered to be cool personality of all the open culture in the office and open communication, seems to be all wrong.
Few days back he suddenly dropped a mail to all the tech team members mentioning that we need more streamlined process in the company and many more blah blah stuffs... to which all of us agreed.
But. But. But. The last line(small font size) mentioning that from now onwards we need to come on Saturdays too until further notice. I mean WTF !!? Seriously.
But today in stand-up when one of the guy asked the agenda, he just tossed the question saying that we need to be more active attending "client tickets". Goddammit. We are devs, not tech support.
To this one of the other dev, said the exact same thing that was going in everyone's mind. Call the team that are required on Saturdays. To which his reply was, " Come on Saturday, we will speak then".
I was like 👏👏👏
P.S. Not that we are not ready to come on Saturdays, but at least take consent of all the members in the team, if you all babble so much about open culture and shit. We have friends and family too to have fun with, and need to take little rest on weekends.
And most importantly, tell us some firm reasons to be there on weekends, not just "You have to come, because we said so!"
Period.2 -
So the story is true and this is what we have to deal with now..
My friend and I started to build a Web Application for a Roleplay Community. The project was for a client mainly and they don't mind if we try to sell this project to the public. All goes well except the shitty design, which is the one our client asked for. So after 6 months of work we planned to switch our backend to Nodejs, the switch look quite easy in our brains [PHP => NODEJS] because we already use Nodejs for instant functions without reloading the page.
So during the planning we earn a client which is one of the member of the clan, but he pay for another clan which is 6x bigger then the one we're in. So we continue to develop and think about the switch. We learn a news about a new competitor, this one sucks, we tried their App and it's not worth the money they ask. A few days after another competitor enter the market, this one is a big challenge for us. "Sit down tight, yea you reading this"..
The competitor use BUBBLE to create their shit, they earned 10 clients in one week and just punch us with "THE ROCK" hand, they release a lot of feature each week, they're 6 devs on that (if we can call them devs), we're 2 programmers (True Programmers). What we do in 1 week they do it in 5 hours with Bubble, the switching to Nodejs was a badluck, you couldn't add feature because of this switch during 2 weeks, this made us later and second in the race. My friend (at the same time my employee and back-end programmer) move into another appartment which obligate him to work full-time. At this time I'm f****, I'm only a Front-End Programmer vs 6 Wannabe Devs with a mother**** tool of *** (#Bubble).
This is where I am, in this beautiful opportunity to win this market but with this bad luck occuring = the opportunity is low, but our advantage is we don't have made our project public yet so they're the only good option for the communities to get that kind of web app, the others are not included and only a copy of this (Their Product) or just a big junk made with Wix.
At this time I'm working hard to make this opportunity happen, I have my math which I have to finish to have my High School diploma to do, a part-time job to get if I want to stay with an internet connection and finally I have to find a way to still be able to make my dream come true (Working on my Business at full time & Make money from it) and continue to be a Front-End Programmer/CEO of an enterprise.4 -
TL;DR: When picking vendors to outsource work to, vet them really well.
Backstory:
Got a large redesign project that involves rebuilding a website's main navigation (accessibility reasons).
Project is too big just for our dev team to handle with our workload so we got to bring a 3rd party vendor to help us. We do this often so no big deal.
But, this time the twist was Senior Management already had retained hours with a dev shop so they want us to use them for project. Okay...
It begins:
Have our scope / discovery meeting about the changes and our expected DevOps workflow.
Devs work Local and push changes to our Github, that kicks off the build and we test on Dev, then it goes to Staging for more testing & PM review. Once ready we can push to prod, or whenever needed. All is agreed, everyone was happy.
Emailed the vendors' project manager to ask for their devs Github accounts so we can add them to the project. Got no reply for 3 days.
4th day, I get back "Who sets up the Github accounts?"
fuck me. they've never used Github before but in our scope meeting 4 days ago you said Github was fine...??
Whatever, fuck it. I'll make the accounts and add them.
Added 4 devs to the repo and setup new branch. 40min later get an email that they can't setup dev environment now, the dev doesn't know how to setup our CMS locally, "not working for some reason."
So, they ask for permission to develop on our STAGING server.. "because it's already setup"... they want to actively dev on our staging where we get PM/Senior Management approvals?
We have dev, staging, production instances and you want to dev in staging, not dev?... nay nay good sir.
This is whom senior management wants us to use, already paid for via retainer no less. They are a major dev shop and they're useless...
😢😭
Cant wait for today's progress checkup meeting. 😐😐
/rant1 -
I understand we are devs and allowed to wear what we want to a certain extent, but why must people wear flip flops. I don’t want to see/smell your feet for 8 hours20
-
A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.
3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).
Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!
The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.4 -
This rant is about people's random shit in devrant, as a matter of fact, please let me remind you of the meaning of DEV-RANT:
- Dev : technical people only
- Rant : You should scream your guts out here
Memes, Adverts, slice of life, all these weirdo contents are not made for this platform, you have instagram for that ....
So please people. stop telling us that you have ADHD or that you sell some shit because we are supposed to be DEVS RANTING, and sharing our missfortune.
Dev rant is a place where we can vent out, and be comforted by your peers ...
Fuck you spammers !51 -
I have never understood why there is so much animosity from seasoned devs in the community.
I see it in a lot of places. Stackoverflow, reddit, even devRant. In so many cases, an inexperienced dev will post to the web, only to be shot down by things like "this question is stupid" or "you all have it too easy and its apparent you never learned basic CS principles" or things of that nature. In a lot of cases, these are generally unhelpful replies and often teach new devs to be wary of seeking help.
Please help me to understand, why this is.
Is it because the community is angry at these devs trying to get a high paying job by going to a bootcamp and shortcutting the hard work it takes to understand core CS principles to become a decent developer? Then why not take a moment to provide resources or insight to these folks so they can learn to be better?
Is it because the community feels that devs from bootcamps are just watering down the pool of talent making our worth decrease? I feel this isnt really valid because seasoned, experienced architects will always be needed to build good software. And at that, why are we not ensuring that the next wave of developers is equipped to handle tasks like that?
There are a lot of good people in this community who want to help and make the net a better place for all developers (after all, many of us consider it home), but there's a lot more people out there with really shitty attitudes, and it frustrates the hell out of me that my juniors now equate arrogant, self-entitled responses and attitudes with "seasoned devs" and discourages them from even bothering to get involved in the community.19 -
”We’re not going to shuffle you (devs) around from project to project and definitely not taking on any new time-sensitive projects with the limited resources we have, seriously understaffed as we are atm” - that was the promise.
So today I got assigned to a time-sensitive project (unconditional deadline by the end of the year) on a product I am not at all familiar with... I almost believed 2 projects underway was enough so that it would not get assigned to me. Oh well, there’s always room for a 3rd.
At least I get to pick my tools so I get to try out Fable... a silver lining there, and not really a thin one.3 -
We have so much pl/sql at our company and it really sucks because the "young" generation of devs must convince the pl/sql guys to switch to some more powerful and newer languages like java.
But not everyone wants to use the new stuff or learn anything new. I mean there are some programmers who really appreciate that there is new stuff. They have no problem learning from the younger generation. But some of them just resist any change in that direction, and thats the much higher amount of devs.
Does anyone of you have such experience? What can i do against that?
Is that some kind of "i am too old for this"-trip?13 -
My friends do it for me, so does my wife.
It helps that my coworkers are my friends and they are devs, so there is that.
Other than that my phone would usually rang during the weekend nonstop with shit to do. I normally tend to stick to being at home with my wife and child.
My city is strange in that everyone and their mothers parties every weekend and people are usually friendly enough to involve everyone with anyone during the weekends. I like and dislike that (loud shit annoys me)
My dear boss is a weekend alcoholic, so there are null chances of making us go to work and if they do they let us chill during the work week.
Not only that, but the entire IT dpmnt is really friendly towards one another. We are one big happy family(we never fight with one another, not even the sys admins/network dudes.1 -
I'm working on a project that is being shipped to production this friday, so we're killing all bugs and finishing all remaining features.
Sadly, one of the main devs just took his vacation last friday for THREE WEEKS, and being the small team we are, it feels like we'll need to work non-stop extra hours every day to meet the deadline.
The problem is, I can't sleep right now and it's 2:30 am, so fuck me.4 -
Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....4
-
Boss: We need a discount coupons system right now
Me: We have lot of security concerns, if we implement that as the things are right now, that will be exploited by hackers to get infinite discounts
Boss: Dont worry, i will monitor everything personally for avoid problems
Me: :facepalm:
PD: I entered this software agency 4 months ago by necessity and everything was a mess, they pay 250 bucks to all their devs.
They have what they deserve, a shitty software that can be exploited everywhere
Pls give me another Job xD
PD2: I can sell you lot of exploits for this shitty platform they built JAJAJAJAJAJAJA okno2 -
Our team (devs and QAs) have been doing a series of overtime work.
So, the company has provided us a place to sleep. Everyday, we would go to work at 10AM and then return to our place to rest at 12 midnight (sometimes at 2AM).
We've been doing this for a week now and we'll resume again tomorrow.
I already feel exhausted, and I was thinking of resigning after all of this mess was over.
However, I am having second thoughts. Since this is my first job, I have no point of comparison.
Perhaps a series of overtime like this one is normal? Is this type of work environment to be expected when being a developer? Or am I selling my self short and there are better options out there? What do you devs think?12 -
I am drunk right now. Just wanted to let you guys know that I love you and that I am really proud to be part of such a nice community. I know that we Devs sometimes have a hard time due to our profession, but I am happy that we are still able to stay strong together.
And now good night. Have to work in 6 hours.5 -
We hired someone to make the new front site because I was too busy.
The guy had a plain text password system to show, mispronounced "FontAwesome", and used WordPress.
He was not an instructor but was supposed to be the "senior option" for when I couldn't do something for any reason.
I later asked him for some opinion on how to translate the site, and he disabled the Captcha plugin. I. Don't. Know. Why. I figured because of all the spam I got suspiciously after he "took a look" at the admin panel.
Luckily I could get him out of the contacts and now we are looking for more devs. -
Right,i consider myself a pretty damn good dev... I can back up everything I say to prove that I'm right on not lying to clients
But I see all these devs who do lie... Who withold data from clients cause it's not great.
And I go to clients and prove that they are lying not doing it right.
But I know saying to them... Oi your current devs are shit fire them ... Isn't a good way to get them as a client
Me and my company are open and honest ... we go all out on all of our projects. I work nonstop. It is seriously baffling the kind of developers are out there and how bad they can be I'm... Seriously just.... Urgh 😖
How should I go about talking to clients without going ... Fire them quick or saying that in a ... More humble respectful way...
I need more clients ... To survive and I don't mind coming across as a dick as long as they understand what's going on and that they are people ripped off by these asshole devs5 -
This happened a few years ago. We started this new project that was estimated to take 3 devs around 5 months to complete. We had a meeting where the client, the project manager, me and two other devs were present. When the client asked if we were still on track to complete the project by the end of September, the PM just said “yeah we are totally on track, no worries”.
Me and the other devs looked us straight in the eyes and nonverbally agreed that this guy has to be sniffing glue or something. For context: it was August.
After the meeting we immediately raised our concerns with him and our boss. The deadline was shifted and a freelancer was hired to assist. The PM quit shortly after and a way more competent guy took over. But the damage was already done.
In the end we finished that project in February or March the following year. Client was still happy but this shit triggered a whole clusterfuck of a year. Other projects were lagging behind because of this and we had to push out project after project that had accumulated in our backlog. -
somewhere in this world this happened..
Company lands huge enterprise project
manager: we have a year to get this done.
poor devs : excited and thinks about so much learning with this project it would be.
manager: Lets get work started with (spits planless jargons)...meanwhile another team is working on SRS.
poor devs: So we are doing R&D right..(excited)
manager: No we have a demo scheduled after 15days.
poor devs: What??
manager: Get on it..we need something to show on demo.
poor devs: no words spoken
...after one year of unplanned demos...
manager: we have to stablize project..UAT is nearing.
one of brave poor devs: No no..lets focus on demo...why do you need a stable product.
manager: instant rage1 -
Receiving so much negativity about being a developer, but is this the legacy we are trying to put out there for upcoming devs, most are us are introverts with or without being devs, antisocial to our very core, so why don't we face out this sadistic outward appearance and embrace the very mini gods we were created to be and make the very best of it and oh I have a wonderful social life with a loving and caring companion, my laptop.4
-
One thing I truly fucking dislike about the development life is knowing about server administration. I think that the mental hurdle that is to develop a huge application, make a stable dev environment, learn all the tools, tricks, techniques, modern standards, processes whatever, detailing software engineering are way tf too much to also handle server admin shit.
We don't have anyone at work that deals with that, and as such my devs need to know how to do entire series of maintenance shit that just takes time and effort plus hours of notetaking and study. I mean I get it, they should know their way around a linux environment enough to troubleshoot issues that are related to the os when working with some tools, but fuuuuuuuck me man, setting up a server, even for the holy grail of easy (standard lamp stack) takes way tf too much.
Wish we could have a dedicated server admin in the team.
I know where my faults are, setting up servers is something that I know but just can't be assed with in terms of keeping up, I wish we had a devops dedicated server admin deployment guru cuz I really cannot stand losing hours doing this shit.
It also diminishes good s admins in value, "weLl ThE deVs caN do It" YEAH BITCH but wouldn't it be nice to have an expert concentrating on JUST THAT?
FUCK man7 -
Our approach is to get a loose feel for what the client wants, lift some visuals from Theme Forest then spend the next few weeks persuading the client to use our crappy server rather than their preferred AWS solution. Then once the project is behind schedule we break the work down into disparate tasks each of which gets a single line brief from the PM (such as 'create admin' or 'do css'). These then get assigned to different devs with no consideration of their skillset. The PM is available for 10 mins every day to answer queries, the rest of the time our devs are expected to work autonomously. Meanwhile we'll tell the client that we're back on schedule and arrange a demo for an impossibly short deadline. We have the mantra ”dont worry about it” which the PM uses to quash any dev's concerns up until the day before the deadline at which point we'll swap some devs on to unrelated work whilst others concentrate on getting "just the pages the client wants to see looking right" (we have a policy of making it look like it works before it actually does.) Following the demo we will announce all the missing features we had forgotten about from the initial undocumented agreement and set the project aside whilst we service another client.2
-
Wow, even though we are like a 9gag exclusively for developers, our community seems to be one of the nicest.
We're basically proving this theory wrong, we devs sure understand each other a lot!
http://lifehacker.com.au/2014/12/... -
The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.2
-
Anybody know any good .net web devs in Sydney? I'm sick of reading seek and LinkedIn resumes where 95% of the applicants have a phone number starting with +91 and are skilled in "user testing and SAP".
I mean, what are they expecting? "Absolutely sir, we will mail you a first class plane ticket right now for your interview! Oh .net was just a suggestion, you can code in COBOL if you prefer. And don't worry about that pesky working Visa, we can pay cash!"3 -
We are gating release of each sprint.
Today before 10:00AM I identified a major performance problem and asked devs to fix it (single if() will be enough as a hotfix). We're blocked until we have the fix deployed.
It's 5pm and we're still waiting for that 1 `if` clause to be added and deployed :)
A long day it was. Full of hopes and expectations, waiting for things to happen -
The customer support team in my company just put a shit description about the issues and expect the devs to solve it. The screenshot is in a German language that is officially said to be not used in the company yet it is still used. The zendesk has no images or context. Do these customer support think we are magicians?2
-
Hey fellas,
So, our company is taking up some consulting projects to survive this pandemic since our main business is a little down. I've been assigned to a RN project and the client company has 2 other devs. Those devs are so incompetent that they don't even know the basics of JS and RN. They don't even understand how to split code into components and make it resusable. Okay, fine they must be new devs. I get it but can't you even fucking follow the instructions and guidelines that I'm giving you!! The code is very bad with a lot of pitfalls. In the first 2 weeks I reviewed all the code they were writing and gave comments for improvements. They didn't even care to do that! Now I've given up!
Every single day looking at the codebase makes me sick and not want to touch anything. I've practically started hating the project. How do I deal with this situation? Now, we are reaching the deadline and they're piling up the work on me. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Thanks!
P.S: This is my first actual rant!6 -
This is the first time I've been on a project with a developer that is incredibly slow. Almost an entire month has passed, and this particular developer is still working on a story. In fact, it's the only story the devs picked up.
I work for a consulting organisation, and this particular developer and I are the only ones engaged on this project.
I am also the senior developer. I have tried numerous times to help speed things up by suggesting if there are blockers to hit me up so we can get it resolved.
At this point, I'm not entirely sure what to do. Should I report this back to the company I work for, or should I shut my mouth and say nothing because it isn't my problem?3 -
Hey Devs!
How you are doing?
I am here after 2-3 months. I had health issues then my TL cum Friend suggested to do a trip because we are on work from home too. So went on 15 days trip too.. It was worth it.
But again back to normal life as usual.. Code sleep repeat!!1 -
This articles are what is wrong with developers. They build these stereotypes for us.
https://utemissov.com/i-am-senior-d...
If it was funny article, just for fun I get it. Er all laugh. But this writer seems pretty serious in this.
I've been working for 3-4 years as developer. I still use Google every day. Does that make me a bad developer ? No.
Yhese are new things every day that we learn. It is yech world. It changes every day.2 -
Me - "Talks to client about his deliverable"
Him - So when can we show a demo?
Me - On thursday we could show a totally working deliverable.
Him - "Really on thursday? i was hoping to get it done for tomorrow"
My mind - *Dude. do you even know how much time does it takes to finish the latest changes you just asked me today? i mean probably we could get it done if you weren't so cheap at the proposal, you know, when I told you we would take longer if i dropped the price. And I could have a couple more devs working here so we could had the finish product a week ago, and still we are on time... so WTH dude *
Me - No, sorry I wouldn't dare to show you a half baked demo. But ill try my best to show you before that day.1 -
Today one of the more junior back-end devs told us, that he doesn’t plan to do front-end, because he doesn’t want to make design.
He basically told us that in his view FE devs do design work and that’s it.
What the f**? We have designers for that. Front-end devs are not the ones who make design. Reaaad uupp, boy6 -
Since we devs are masters of the weird - I thought: "why not make a collection of weird things?".
Incase you want to contribute - Contribute!
https://github.com/Wittmaxi/...1 -
How do I convince a dev department to take source control, peer code review and unit tests seriously?
I'm a recent software grad with internships that recently started at a smallish company (less than 20 employees but has been around for 10 years, with most senior non-mgmt employee around 6 years). I've been working here for less than a year (approx 5 months) and I love the company - lots of talented and passionate people.
We are a creative industry with a handful of devs and one of the issues I'm seeing is that often devs are working in silos. I'm trying to make suggestions to upper management like encourage more usage of source control, documentation, etc and most of the senior devs are pushing back - saying that they don't feel that it is necessary and due to the fast moving nature of our projects that all this would be a total waste (they were so fast on the idea of not having PR's because it would be "too much of a blocker").
I understand that a large part of this has more to do with shifting the culture in the department and that can be very hard to do, especially since i'm fresh out of school, but I see these devs have so much potential but it seems that they think having these implementations in place would mean more rigid rules and bureaucracy.
I've been speaking to some of my engineering friends and they're pretty much all just telling me that I am shooting myself in the foot if I continue to stay at this company because I'll be behind skill wise, but part of me isn't ready to just give up yet.
looking for some advice10 -
C# is getting so fucking obfuscated with these null check inceptions. Found the following in my company's code base. Why did it take me and 3 other devs an hour to figure out how to write this if statement into a flowchart?
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? b[0]?.Id))...😫😫😫
FYI: We figured it and also found some bugs with logic, but can you? I'll post our flowchart if ranters are interested.
So to add to the madness:
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? (b?.Any() ? b[0].Id : null)))...🤯🤯🤯23 -
Client's Devs Yesterday: "We are ready for a production test, and should be ready to go live in 1 week."
Today after successful test: "We need 6 weeks of production before going live"
How can you be so far off on your timelines? A solo dev has done this same flow in like three weeks. It has already been three months...1 -
I often ask my colleagues about their mess ups on the job and that, to me, says a lot about them.
See, we devs have this unspoken rule between us (in my opinion) that we don't discuss our screw-ups whether it's the resume, the interview or at the job.
Are you really telling me that you've worked 5+ years in software industry and never messed up ONCE? Or were/are you in a position where you screwing up wouldn't create a dent for your team processes?
I can trust a dev more, who admits their screw ups because I know they have learned a valuable lesson and they are accountable for their actions.5 -
I have a question of morality .. we are devs so it may start becoming more important then ever..
If to save the world... Would you do something that would first effect millions or 10 of millions of lives negatively, possibly quite seriously so, as in death or starvation etc
Similar to the do you pull the switch and kill one man or do you let the train kill 5 but on a world scale I suppose.14 -
Non-devs will never understand the satisfaction when you see your tests run successfully on GitLab for the first time. (Last course at university and we are supposed to do TDD for the first time. )2
-
When the infinite layers of upper management and committees don't trust the ones in the battlefield, are too paranoid and disconnected from reality. They are the ones blocking and preventing the release.
Otherwise, we devs are on schedule, almost no bug left. -
As software devs we likely know about xkcd comics.
Some are just funny, but some have deep meaning or idea buried inside.
What xkcd comic influenced you the most?
For me it has to be https://xkcd.com/150/
It feels like a spin on the idea to "create your own path", but for some reason I took it very deeply to my heart.5 -
QA/stakeholder person: can you add the following links to the footer?
devs: sure. easy.
devs: oh wait, 3 of those links are 404. Are you planning to create those pages? or were those urls just a suggestion?
<crickets>
devs: ok well for now we'll leave those out.
stakeholder (a day later): hey these 3 links are still not in the footer!
devs: yeah we asked about that yesterday.
boss: the links are there now
devs (quietly): fuck you. -
I got assigned to work on a new project a couple of weeks ago. We got the POC code handed off from senior management, since he came up with the idea over the weekend. The project concept is hella exciting, but the dev manager and PO I have to deal with make life unbearable to say the least.
We have only 2 devs (including me) and 1 QA on this supposedly very important project. Of course, management announced the project to the clients already, so now we have to deliver ASAP cause it adds “sizzle”.
The MVP deadline is... no one knows when, either July 30th or September 1st. The MVP requirements are... unknown. I swear if someone saw the list of tasks and issues attached to “MVP” Epic, they would call us nuts trying to fit it all in.
To make things better, each PR requires 2 reviewers, so we end up adding manager as a reviewer just cause we need him to hit that “approve” button. So in attempt to make life easier, we requested to have a third developer. We are getting another developer, but that guy doesn’t know how to unit test a pure function...
Current priorities are... unit testing with coverage of 95% and if we want to refactor code, we have to add area to the list in a Google Doc. As a result, we are not tackling big things like risk of SQL injections not to mention big features like i18n (5-6 languages to support by the way and yes, it’s part of MVP as well as SSR no one knows why). Currently, I spend 2-3 hours a week in calls with the team just to figure out what the hell MVP is, what we have to do and why we have to do it. Last time we spent an hour refining 1 spike and breaking down one story into 3.
Oh, we also don’t have a deployment plan, not even to test environments since DevOps team was not aware of this project at all. Thus, QA cannot create any test suites and have to test everything manually which eats a lot of their time.
This whole project is a big hot mess and I’m considering leaving it all together especially since I’m working on two squads at the same time. I love the project, I love the idea, but management makes it unbearable, so I’m not even motivated to work on that.3 -
Developer these days are more and more required to become language agnostic. I just wondering nowadays so many job posted looking for "fcking fullstack devs". It sound to me like "we need a b!tch that we can fcuk with anystyle, anytime, anywhere and paid once" #nooffense2
-
any ios devs here?
i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!6 -
Devs: We've spent some time estimating the stories, and found that we will finish a month too late. Which stories should be removed?
PM: None
Devs: Which are less important?
PM: All are vital. (read: Work harder)1 -
It's kinda inpressive to me how everything comes to a standstill, as soon as Jira goes offline, because it's been overwhelmed by stuff going on.
Me and another colleague are waiting for it to get back online, so we can annoy the devs with defect reports again.
Which inturn were due a while ago, but the deployment for testing them wasn't done the whole time, so it was not possible to test anyways. And ontop all of that most of the tests failed, so there are a ton of defects.
Fixing them and bringing the tests on PASS has to happen until tomorrow, because that's the deadline for the release cycle.
Ah and it's roughly 45 tickets.
The next release cycle is like in two Months
You know... the usual stuff 😂😂1 -
Boss calls a team leads meeting which is just me and the other guy. Rest are product or project managers.
Turns out they concerns over how our last few sprints are always left unfinished as the work in it doesn't get passed QA.
Tried to tell him how can devs work on something that failed QA on the last day of the sprint.
We have one QA person who tests 20 something devs work. We are massively under resourced and yet they want us to do everything and always end up making promises to clients that we can't keep coz our sprint doesn't have capacity.
Yet they are hiring more product managers instead of getting some more QA help.
Sick & tired of this shit. -
First post yay!
I'm a "tech" lead for my team. The "tech" stands for technically, I can go on a whole different rant there but that's not why we're here today.
So we have a new PM on our side and a new PM on the client side. I've been working on this project longer than any of the devs and PMs have.
One of the tasks that my team does is validate and ingest data. It's pretty straightforward and it's fully automated. It takes minutes, and at most an hour, to complete this task. We get these tasks from users randomly and they don't have any schedule to it. It's FIFO basis and we just add it to our current sprint if we have bandwidth or add it to the next one if we don't. Not a big deal, no users have complained about it before, it's just business as usual. And we have a tracker of when we received it, how big it was and when it's been ingested. Super simple.
So now comes in the new client PM. He's been asking us to come up with timelines for these ingestions. My project's new PM is bending over to him and saying okay we'll come up with it, no problem. Well, there is a problem. We don't know that far in advance for when these tasks are coming in. Even if we did, now we're supposed to create timelines for a 10 min task? It literally is uploading a file and our system handles everything and I've explained that to my pm but he still is like well that's what they want. It takes less effort to do the ingestion than to make these timelines. It just means project managers bothering devs about timelines.
Idk how to deal with this. Thoughts? Any similar experiences?5 -
Don't you just love it when there is no formal spec. you get a few mspaint slides and told a delivery date, scope and slides are changed by management weekly, not necessarily informing you of it. Then when your failing, deadlines pass you by you still have no clear spec 2 weeks before release, partial backend because core business devs are busy doing support on the legacy systems. No frontend cause it's been changed, redesigned and you've been forced to change frameworks and technology so many times due to corporate policy and legacy systems with another dev group holding your balls with what they allow you to do and use. Id complain but at least we've been told to be agile. This is my life now, we lost all hope and stopped caring. And management wonders why the deadlines and estimates are all off.2
-
Yesterday whole 12 hours we were working on deployment about a feature X that has deadline yesterday itself.
Everything damn perfectly running on Test env but not on Prod.
We made Prod into Dev/Test/Fucking garabage env. Haha.
I was laughing to myself at same time crying hard in my deep heart.
Business guys chasing PM
PM chasing us
And from morning till night we were in same room. Had lunch, and dinner only went out for toilet and to refil water bottles.
And found that feature Y is not working at same time that is related to our feature X. Fucking we have been wasted hours on it.
One of my devs got so fucked up emotionally that he messed up the code (not his fault) he didnt had his lunch and dinner. Had to console him later that its not his fault. Poor guy not sure whether he slept or not; will find out in few hours.
Anyways reported a bug.
But that bug assigned to us for fixing.
Are you fucking kidding me.
Anyways no choice. Had to do it.
Hope today everything goes good or horribly bad. FYI no deployments on Friday damn we are in stalememt till Monday.
Fuck that bug
Or
May be fuck our stupiditiy while makiing mistakes.1 -
my biggest lol moment was talking to some hardcore always bring in your own algos and ds games to the table, always going to the core of the world devs, better than thou my shit is better than you ass, my point of view is the best in the world devs, cite papers and algos to you devs, shit like that that were making way less money than some dudester ruby on rails dev sitting at the the conf sipping on his drink.
Really, all that comp sci shit is legit and fun as fuck. But if you are not getting the green for it and living the life then what is the fucking point. Even then, those that are are normally fucking morons. This shit ain't some art, or a personality trait, it is a job.
Fuck me i am so tired of the whole hacker news reddit ass SO mentality of devs, then again I am also tired of mfkers with no knowledge of actual engineering publishing medium articles left and right.
As long as you cannot take human error out of this computer equation you will always have a shitfest of opinions, because regardless of correctness you will always have a shitfest as long as some dickwad has a difference of opinion in an otherwise young ass scientific field such as computer science.
Language wars, framework wars, editor wars you name it. This field is so fucking broken and so full of shit it ain't funny, made less comedic by the fact that it runs the world.
If we are going to die it will be by some massive kernel panic made possible because somewhere, some morons could not mergr a repo due to conflict in ideas. As if being right was going to bring you closer to not being an ugly fat nerd and getting pussy, or dick, whatever your flavor is you fucking losers. -
Does anyone of you fellow devs ever pushes to production during working hours?
I have the luxury to do so and at first was uncomfortable, as this of course takes the system offline for a few seconds, and next web requests from a user are painful due to cold start of web server (and we have 40-100 active users at any given time)...
...but you know what? They all complain SharePoint is slow (it is) anyway, so. I do it.
Sometimes it fucking fails, so I do have all of the historic deployments handy, ready to revert. :)10 -
I think that win devs that are scared of using a terminal are not real devs. We write structured instructions every day, a terminal is just the same. If they are scared of that they should try writing code with a mouse or devote themselves to artistic painting.
BTW PowerShell sucks for typing, and bash for windows is like a travesty shell4 -
How we devs hate getting humiliated on stack overflow when we don't get the answer and someone make us feel stupid for even posting the question.
How we also secretly wish for that validation and feel proud when there are more likes on our questions.
No? Just me? Ok cool 👍5 -
One of my really good friends met me today and she's become a project manager in a big firm and has been asked to manage a project and get it delivered.
A bit of history first. She and I graduated from the same college and got into different firms as software developers. We and our dev friends used to bitch about how PMs don't know anything and don't give a fuck about the quality of project. She moved on to pursue MBA. Fast forward 4 years.. it's today and we are in my apartment having dinner. She's going on and on about how bad the project is, how mess of the project this has become and how she doesn't care at all about the project and doesn't know anything but wants devs to finish the job no matter what. She knows the deadlines are aggressive but has directions to shit all over the devs and get the work done. So she's just doing that.. giving them an earful and asking for daily updates and questioning them about delays without even knowing what the project is about.
When I try to tell her that it's not the right thing to be doing, she's proudly admitting that's she's only going to manage the project for a while and doesn't really care what happens to it.
I have lost some respect for her now.. :(2 -
any mathematician turned devs here?
I think developers with a formal mathematical education should be the ones actually developing softwares. Ordinary developers are just good cooks who know to prepare these recipes by knowing to mix and manage the Ingredients through their experience, developing software using various libraries and frameworks, I don't understand what innovation we devs do in it, makes me feel less passionate about my work sometimes.
(I embrace the fact that being a developer requires an arstisic craftsmanship to do it properly)9 -
def best and worst dev experience from 2016 was a 4 week advanced dev boot camp for work. it was a smaller classroom with about 20 experienced devs in it. it was bright in there. a lot of strong minds backed by strong opinions and even loud voices at times, these are devs after all(so picture that for 1 month straight, 8 hr days). first 2 weeks was all new stuff. it was like a waterfall on head. I kept getting paired with weakest person in the camp for the weekly clone projects which didn't help matters for me or her. after the second week I started to grasp what we were doing and they started mixing up the groups. by the last week most everyone in the camp had learned so much, we had come so far we all kinda bonded through the experience. the final projects Imo were all very impressive. we were all pretty proud of ourselves I'd say. I never learned so much in such a short period of time. immersive training is the only way to go. those week long standard lecture lab workbook tech training courses are weak!! u wanna learn something, u gotta get in there and get dirty with it.1
-
I'm mostly .NET Dev, working on OCR thingy, but I started as Java, Android Dev. After my boss's crappy management and burning out our two mobile devs he has assigned me to finish one app. For past four days I've worked around the clock to finish as much of functionalities as I could but it simply wasn't possible, especially because project was still changing when though deadline was around 15.12.17. Yesterday I've done as much as I could and now we have to wait for the client to either accept it or break the contract.
To be frank, I think that losing money would be like a bucket of cold water for my boss. All of us, me and those two mobile devs I have mentioned earlier, are students. We have exams right now. "Senior" Dev is only year older and will soon be applying for his engineering degree. Year after year situation like this occurs and boss haven't learn a thing.1 -
Here, code reviews are not happening 🙁☹️
When the actual error comes to the prod, we dig into the logs and figure out the reason.
The project is not stable and in the development phase, so requirements are coming too much every month with deadlines.
Deadlines are mostly 1 to 2 weeks.
Sr. Devs mostly merge PR without reviewing it.
I had lots of opportunities though due to various requirements like I learnt AWS dynamo DB, S3, and a few things regarding EC2.
But the coding standard which needs to be learned that I think I'm lacking because my code is not getting reviewed.
Not only about coding, we have to create a ticket in Jira for our task which is decided in the scrum and needs to assigned to ourselves.
In the name of scrum, there are 1 to 2 hours of meeting where they started brainstorming about new requirements and how we are going to implement them.
What should I do to make my code more cleaner and professional?2 -
Meeting 1:
Devs: so we have founds 3 ways of displaying this info. Which one do you think is the most intuitive / more pretty / more useful?
Management: idk, just let the option choose between these 3
Meeting 2:
Management: the users are getting confused with so many options. Fix it.
😑2 -
Visited a friend at their new workplace. Awesome office, really cool interior, nice people, devs are working on cool projects. Started to feel pretty envious.
Then we felt a rumble. Well, it was more like a rrrrruummbbble. Turns out they are located right next to a train track and the whole building shakes a bit when a heavy freight train goes by.
Guess who isn't envious anymore.1 -
Seriously guys, how do you deal when remotely collaborating with lets say not the most motivated and competent devs?
Our scrum team got formed about 6 months ago from leftover devs of other teams, choosing a couple competent devs at the core and other devs who were kinda gotten rid of by their old teams, and after 6 months of working together I can see why.
Situation is that we are 7 devs in our team and 4 of devs are not pulling their weight. They are seniors on paper, but in reality not really.
They rarely take something complex to work on and even if they do, they make sure they take as much time as possible. Two of them are contractors who I imagine decided to treat the job as a paycheck and nothing more. There is no initiative, no push to make things better and in general attitude is to do bare minimum: only what is being asked and then delaying the hell out of tasks.
Im not exaggareting: Im talking about every possible way of dragging out the tasks: delaying communication, sitting around for a few days while not asking for new tasks to work on if they are blocked, also avoiding standups. Working for days on very basic comments in their MR's. Getting "sick" for a couple days on deadline when things get tough, so that someone else would come in, refactor and save the day. Once or twice it could be a coincidence, but nowadays I can already guess ahead of time what kind of trick they will pull now.
Our project is an android app where we have to support few different tablets, so the most recent new trick that I witnessed is devs avoiding hardware delivers, sometimes for months. Idea seems to be if you dont ping your team that you dont have hardware, then you can avoid working on related tasks with that hardware.
Worst part is that they get away with it. Our teamlead is a senior dev who is first time teamlead, doesnt code anymore and doesnt want to rock the boat. He is the type of teamlead who sets arbitrary deadlines, makes it sound that they are urgent and takes a few days off in the middle of chaos just before deadline. Restrospectives don't help at all and if I try to bring up stuff directly to him he tells me to bring it up during retrospectives. We discuss issues, rant a bit ant then continue carying on like nothing happened and nothing changes.
So little by little in the past 6 months we came to this point where 2-3 devs are carrying the weight of the team and are in a constant crunch mode, while others are allowed to slack. Its becoming ridiculous.
Problem is that this is starting to affect our morale. Only way that is left to keep my sanity right now is to pull away sometimes and also slack. Then I come back at full capacity, give my best for a couple weeks until I have to go and fix some basic leftover task that has been purposefully dragged out for 2 months and left unfinished, then I just want to scream and I know that its time to disconnect again.7 -
I hate quotes/estimates so damn much
Quote too high and we don't win the work
Quote too low and I screw myself/other devs over
And then there's the fact that most initial quotes for an entire project are based off nothing but a few marketing slides from the potential client; we do re-estimate after winning the work and nailing down what the client actually wants, but obviously it can't be too far from the initial quote
And then there are other people on the company (not devs, obviously) who like to casually expand the scope without checking how much time it'll add4 -
Do we have any C# devs who have switched to Scala?
I've got a very sweet job offer... at a company that develops in Scala. On the one hand, I'm pretty pleased with my depth of C# knowledge, for a variety of reasons. And I've been targeting .Net shops in my job search.
They know Scala devs are rare, so they are aware they need to train new employees, which is nice. But I don't have strong opinions yet on whether this is a language I want to pivot to.
Does anyone have any thoughts/opinions/experiences?6 -
I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3 -
We should once and for all,
put all IE11 devs in front of a wall
stone them with small rocks
until they bleed out of their socks
then proceed to melt them
with a blazing hot flame
until they are just piles of ash,
I will party like a lush!
This rant wasn't supposed to be a cheap poem, but I can't expect you to read a rant in swiss-german consisting of 98% cussing, swearing and death threats.4 -
Why do we still speak in direct DNS?
I don't know about you, but I have observed so many DNS mishaps in my day, and also have observed that developers and non-devs consistently fail to have a succinct mental model of how to set DNS properly for a website.
There are lots of services that make setting DNS easier than ever, but I'm kind of surprised so many people still have to think directly in terms of CNAMES, APEX DOMAINS, and all the direct domain knowledge of DNS.
Can't we have a higher level abstraction that compiles to DNS with more safety guards? Sure, let me dip into DNS when I need to, but why are DNS settings tables still such a normal thing?
I write Ruby code so I don't have to write C code. I'm sure there are attempts in DNS abstraction, but the fact that I haven't come across them means they are probably still too leaky or just not mainstream.
Thoughts on the matter?4 -
I think I am going to keep a desktop counter of every time the other team bitches about not having tool x or tool y rather than learning the tools we already have that are perfectly capable of serving the purpose they want. I get that devs should be allowed to have the tools they need to do the job, but at a certain point you're yelling at a cloud to start raining. Especially since we work in a restricted environment and IT's backlog is ridiculous.
-
I'm so confused by our architecture and development process in general
We planned what features are to be implemented (e.g. what endpoints should do what), but there are parts of tasks which depend on others, and I'm not sure what classes to build or when to start a task given that related ones are being done by other developers, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
I could maybe do all of this alone my way if it was just me, but when I ask in planning about how we should go about implementing shit together, I just get backlash from this senior developer telling me we shouldn't waste time discussing implementation details in planning
Like, what the fuck do you want me to fucking do, just implement all the dependencies of what I'm doing from zero, without reusing any of the code other devs are doing that touches on the same parts?
Fucking hell, man, this is the third sprint where I'm confused like this
Maybe I'm just too dumb to be a developer after all lol6 -
On the topic of having to make decisions as a dev that shouldn’t be made (solely, at least) by devs…
There’s a lot to like in my current work environment: I enjoy being around my colleagues, I get to do a variety of tasks, and many of them interesting to me and/or great learning opportunities, the pay doesn’t suck and so on… there’s also not much pressure put on the dev team from other parts of the organisation. The flipside of the coin is that nobody who should express some kind of vision as to how we should develop the product further does so.
Me and my fellow devs in the team are so frustrated about it. It feels like we’re just floating around, doing absolutely nothing meaningful. It’s as if the business people just don’t care. And we are the ones ending up deciding what features to develop and what the specs are for those etc. and I really don’t think we should be the ones doing that.
One would think that’s a great opportunity to work on refactoring, infrastructure, security and process improvements and so on - but somehow we get bothered just enough by mundane issues we can’t get to work on those effectively. Also, many of the things we’d want to do would need sign-off from the management, but they are not responsive really. Just not there. Except for our TM, but they don’t have the power neccessary… at least they are trying tho… -
I’ve now discovered that management actually decides for themselves what software engineering is. 🧐
It is getting increasingly common that in different architectural groups the decision has already been made… by management…without actually passing through our review… as a little more senior blokes and gals.
Not even a discussion? On the fit?
That leads me to the conclusion, since I consider the management (at least the two or three closest layers) are morons, good at talking but not really knowing anything about what we do (we kind of take stuff and make other stuff from it by using energy and other stuff in HUGE FUCKING FACILITIES AROUND THE PLANET), that even they did not make the decision. It was forced upon them. They did not decide either! Because they can’t! Because they are idiots all of them!
I have not investigated this issue but this is the logical conclusion. Or not.
Recently, for instance, decisions were made to route information flows by some tech. Some new tech. At some place in our eco-system. At a certain time. And, if we were to have reviewed this initiative in our process we would have said:
”Well, I hear you! But we are not going to do that right now because WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING HUGE GLOBAL PROJECT THAT CHANGES PRETTY MUCH FUCKING EVERYTHING AND WE CAN NOT JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING EXECUTION PROCESS OF THE PROJECT CHANGE THE FOUNDATIONS OF MESSAGE ROUTING BECAUSE WE LACK THE NUMBER OF HUMANS TO DO THE FUCKING JOB. So, we need to take a look at this and to get a better understanding when we can make this happen.”
What is the point of having this step in our organization if it is just pass-through? What is the point? Meetings? Just having meetings? Spending time mastering the organizational skill of administrating meetings? Feeling important? Using big words (holistic being my favourite)?
Below, juniors devs are being hired doing stupid stuff that does not need doing. For months and months.
I believe now that half of the dev staff does not need to be there and three quarters of the team, service, delivery (etc) managers are unnecessary. I mean, the good juniors are going to change jobs soon either way and we are stuck in this vicious cycle where we are not being allowed to be innovative in software engineering. Stability is of the essence here but the rate of our releases are just silly slow. I would say that we are far, far away from any track that leads us to where we want to be. Agile. Innovative. Close to business. Learning. Teaching. Faster. Stability despite response to implementing changing business needs.
And then there are the consultants…
*sigh*4 -
Help. We're starting to feel the effects of unnecessary micromanagement.
We're a small startup. The kind with less than 10 devs spread across different domains. We've been fine with a Kanban approach as the velocity/flow of deliverables don't necessarily warrant a Scrum approach yet.
Our boss has been wanting to adopt Scrum-style sprints, even shoved and assumed that were doing these sprints and demanding Scrum-style reports (and meetings!!!) when they are, in reality,
1) unnecessary
2) a waste of time
Absolutely none of the team members want this. But our boss insists on having it. We like our boss, but lately things are getting out of control
What can we do to mitigate and prevent this?3 -
so, i was on cloud 9 after having learnt n mastered(hopefully) angularjs..but the devs said wait, u r outdated, we r up with angular2..i was up for the challenge, folded my sleeves n started scratching angular2 only to realise they had more to mock me up when they finally said, haha, learnt angular2? now get ready for angular4..!! nd m damn sure by the tym i hv learnt angular4, they wud say, oh we r really sorry for u, we are back with angular5, 6, 7:@2
-
!Rant
Yes, I know I'm shameless, but here we go:
Are there any norwegian devs out there that are looking for a new colleague (webdev)? :D
I'm going to be out of work in a few months time, and have started applying for jobs in the Oslo area, but most jobs I see listed require 3+ years of experience. I've worked with web for about 9 months and I'm keen to get more experience. Interested in a full time job or being a trainee.
Proficient in HTML, CSS/SASS, JavaScript/jQuery, PHP, Wordpress, MySQL.
If yoy know anything, please let me know :)5 -
I hate working with sh*tty Devs
I used that term specifically.. No it's not about juniors, it's about those who pretend to be seniors.
In a major company project, one of us has to take a week or two to refactor that one "senior" dev work. When tested it performs poorly, when checked, it violates every SE principle and the business people are wondering why we keep seeing `refactoring User Stories/Tasks` and why we still don't have a working project yet. Yes, we will never have, that mess that `senior` dev created is almost impossible to refactor without major rework.
Now, major rework coming, we need to give something to that Senior so he doesn't feel left behind. Argue to never let him get anything in core or this company will go under...
In short, I hate working with sh*tty devs.1 -
I see a lot of comments on here about how people hate one OS versus another. Everyone has a gripe with <pick your OS>. Do devs need an OS made for them? Is Linux that OS or are we still waiting for the One True Dev OS?
I got to thinking something that is based around the Docker concept. Where every app runs in its own world. Would this be terrible?
I have no experience with docker so I don't know the technical issues. I know Docker exists on top of OSes, but could it be useful at a lower level?13 -
Over the last few years, i explored the DMZ between dev's world and customer's world. It is a DMZ where both are in contact, ones trying to convince the others to invest on them, and i was just shocked !
People are so stupid and Elitist, they think that an ultimate great godly dev exist !
It is totally fake for sure, they image that a good have to know absolutely everything about all the damn languages (while everyone googles every single comment received, even the most "advanced" dev)
I am shocked to see how people apply their everyday life metrics to the dev's world, i mean, there are a lot of devs around, everyone coding his way to self-improvement, we are all different, we have trends, and we can definitly define groups of developers and types of developers, but people think that a good dev have to come from silicon valley ! Does it means that a dev coming from Vladivostok is less worth ? even he is more dynamic in his approach ? even if he yields more results in terms of solutions ? (SV devs tends to be too much technical, while russians tends to be in the heart of action directly).
Common people shouldn't mess with what they know nothing about, and stay at their "Consumer" position. -
So we 3 devs working on a real estate system.... The guy who initially wrote the system wrote it in a fucked up state
Project structure was shit so we had a meeting and I suggested we restructure the project and also have some minimal documentation coz the system is growing we adding more features before current ones are finished
We agreed and started polishing up the system coz it seemed more features we wanted were now becoming more and more difficult to implement
So the other guy tells me to pull some updates.... To my surprise he had started documenting the system without restructuring first.... Had to quickly restructure the thing and push updates
How can 1 start documenting the very same design we want to abandon 🤦 -
At work they have an innovation challenge this week and they are putting us in groups based so there is no group with a skill level of over 9000 here is the dialogue:
Survey:On a scale from 1 to 5 what is your Linux skill
Me: vim I use vim
I got a response from the event organizer who said we will label you a 7
What is wrong with our devs that puts me off the scale because I use vim -
I am an average Dev who is striving to improve. I currently work in a setting where I have the most experience in a corporate setting. I came from a very disciplined team where I had a great mentor. Now I am in a looser team with very bright people who don't have that experience. They are mainly JavaScript devs without much production experience. We are working in .net but they don't like working with back end code or databases. This is a 3 month contract. I want to do a good job. I have made enemies in the past and I just want to leave on a good note.
-
god... fuckkkkk me, is this really what people think will make them money? these are really udemy's "opportunity"??? classes???? more like "death"
https://udemy.com/instructor/...
rest assured, we are safe as devs, don't listen to what the iNfLuEnCeRs say
i imagine the old start up bros attempting to get the software development they need just by prompting 😂😂😂😂😂😂
"chatGPT - ship this app to the store! google AND apple!!!!!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
they, like most clueless boomers and people who don't know shit, are totally lost for what the future holds. have fun.
in their benefit, at least they'll be ignorantly blissfully happy as they are spoonfed AI generated content to make themselves feel beter and important
meanwhile, the knowledgable and bitter devs will drink themselves to death in depression
god i fucking hate the internet
only one tag is needed6 -
Taking my company's Security training... One of the rules was don't download unauthorized programs.
Find except we're devs so if we really need a program we could write our own that does the same thing
But yes lots of things mentioned we shouldn't do that well I think any sane person would do...
Wondering are they trying to make everyone quit or is this like double speak?
Do all companies do this?4 -
I’m a junior developer on a very small team (4 devs total including me and the manager).
Because we are so small, we work in silos. We individually work on issues and rarely work together.
There is a more senior dev that I really would like to work more with. I feel there is a lot to learn from him because he has the experience and skill sets that I would like.
What’s the best way to work with him more? Should I just ask him? Or is it better to find a more indirect way?7 -
If html and css are not really considered as programming languages, then how do we call the job? I've 'coded' the design? I've front-end designed the design? I've 'sliced' the design? (last one is sure old fashioned enough to exist..)
p.s. and while front-end devs nowadays are required to have angular, react, etc as their skillset, I feel like html and css are also shifting to be required for designers..1 -
True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
-
What's your thoughts on "nano learning"? For example having devs watch a 5 minute education video once per week rather than watching a 20 minute education video once per month.
I used to think it was a great idea, cause as devs we kinda do nano learning all the time on the fly while we are coding and googling.
However after my organisation has started sending us 5 minute education snippets - I've reconsidered.
Since it takes a few minutes to context switch from your current task to an education about something completely different it feels like an annoying chore.6 -
For web devs here, do we really still need to support browsers of the evil (yeah I'm talking about MS browsers, Edge included) ?
I mean, building a css ui library here in 2017, without the benefits of custom properties, grid and so many other cool things, is so fucking frustrating.
A practical example : color theming with custom properties = Fuck Yeah / color theming without custom properties = so verbose and painfull, sucks.
The library is mostly for private usage at the moment so... I'm about to drop IE and Edge in the deepest shithole of the darkest cavern of my memory, and move on coding my lib with modern CSS, with almost no regret for the ghosts of the past who are still using these shitware today.
Should I ? Or should I... maintain compatibility as we traditionnally do ?
What's you guys opinion about this ? Can we finally kickban these browsers from our lives ?3 -
Recently we got a new project assigned and as always you are hyped, really really hyped...........
We were supposed to find all kind of driver updates (especially bios ones) for all devices the company owns. So first of all we thought:
EAAAASY! A little bit of web crawling, regex, etc.
.
.
.
.
B
U
U
U
U
T
!
We were sooooo soooo wrong these fucking manufacturer websites are absolutely awful to crawl or parse and nowadays there are no proper FTP Servers or something else anymore you could use to get the information. Every subsite is little bit different...
While coding and literally brute forcing possible urls (there was some kind of vague pattern) we learned AGAIN to appreciate proper developed and designed websites. Especially by devs who may have some more usage scenarios in mind for their site than simple human clients.
So thank you to all of you awesome web developers who design proper websites and web tools!
All in all it took us 2 weeks to come up with a proper solution (by the way we are a smal team of 3 devs) which somewhat works reliable and can deal with site changes etc. -
Question:
Could a mobile application such as, facebook (well a minimum version or it), twitter, devrant etc., be built using the MEAN stack (using ionic framework). Or is really ionic very slow?
Or do we need React Native "for better performance"? thus ME[R]N stack?
I am confused, and every article i read says something else.
What are you devs using these days? i need some opinions here.
F*** this sh*t (now my post is a rant)4 -
Dude, this two guys working on my team are really jerks. They don’t want to “waste time” helping the junior devs understanding the stuff that we sell. Sadly they’re the only people on the team that didn’t come from the outside.2
-
My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.
New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .
Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?
New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.
Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?
New guy: Yes.
Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.
New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.3 -
Question for my fellow devs:
Do you feel like you are spending too much time on maintaining ur devops/infrastructure rather than focusing on the actual product?
Do you think your company would be willing to spend a bit of money to outsource scaling problems to someone else and just focus on the product?
Ik we got lots of fancy new CI platforms like Circle CI GH actions etc but like I personally feel like I’m doing certain infrastructure tasks twice when I look at the two different codebases I work on.8 -
What are staging systems for?
In my opinion (and of my dev co-workers): that everyone can test the software before it’s being deployed to production.
PM (at least based on how they act): that we devs test our software. They will test it when it’s live.
Today: cookie banner was missing, and the page has been on staging for around 3 months and it already has been live for 2 weeks.
No. One. Noticed. That. On. Stage.
Ridiculous.4 -
this whole conversation is 4 hours before a UAT deploy.
PM: Do we have the new keys?
me: did they devs give you the new keys?
PM: no. what about the new URLs?
me: what are the new URLs.
she walks away. -
Thought I'd post this for my friend in QA, because she's been having a horrible week at work.
So we were supposed to have production deployments last night (Tuesday) and tonight (Wednesday). We were told these dates a week ago, which is fine. The QA support cleared their after-office schedules on those dates to accommodate, since the deployments would be happening at 10pm.
Last Monday they moved the deployments to Thursday and Friday, because our "project managers" want to cram as many fixes and resolutions as possible. So of course, we devs are being rushed to speed these additional tasks through to being included (bypassing a LOT of quality checks).
Of course, the QA team finds defects (we devs were expecting that, so no big) and the PMs start blaming them for the delays. Which is just stupid. And my QA friend? They're trying to make her a scapegoat by throwing her under the bus with business.
Fortunately, she's a smart cookie and not only has all communications with the PMs documented, she also has the other QAs backing her up by running the same tests.
tldr; Fuck those project managers who suck up to business and don't give a shit about the people who do the actual work. May they burn in hell and their souls rot in a cesspool of acidic farts for all eternity. -
Any backend devs here working with TypeScript? What are the best framework choices right now? I've been looking at Nest.js, but there seems to be a steep learning curve that might hamper onboarding of my (literally fresh graduate) new hires. There's also Ts.ED, which seems like the fat has been trimmed from it.
I know people will recommend something like, just using express / koa / hapi but I don't think we have the time to work with something super lightweight 😬😬😬. And besides, opinionated frameworks will speed things up for now (we have a lot of crap we want to do this incoming 2022)12 -
One of the coolest projects I've worked on was with the BBC, basically a competition attempting to find a new way to deliver news. Over 3 days we essentially brain stormed and scrum'd together a shoddy Web app using webRTC and 3 secret API's based on JSON and xml.
Fun project, performed badly but won. Moral of the story, if it looks nice, works as intended, no devs are reviewing it and you've crossed your fingers enough, you'll win ;) -
A question to game devs : which design/architecture patterns do you use ?
Everytime I try to take a look at game development, I feel like there is a lack of guidelines, mostly about architecture.
It's something strange to me as a web dev, as we use much of these patterns on a daily basis. Of course I think about the near omnipresence of MVC and its variants, but not just that. Most of frameworks we do use are essentially focused on architecture, and we litterally have access to unlimited tutorials and resources about how to structure code depending on projects types ans needs.
Let's say I want to code a 2D RPG. This has been done millions of time across the world now. So I assume there should be guidelines and patterns about how to structure your code basis and how to achieve practical use-cases (like the best way to manage hero experience for example, or how to code a turn-based battle system). However I feel these are much harder to find and identify than the equivalent guidelines in the web dev world.
And the old-school RPG case is just an example. I feel the same about puzzle games or 3D games... Sure there are some frameworks and tools but they seems to focus more on physics engine and graphic features than code architecture. There are many tutorials too, but they are actually reinforcing my feeling : like if every game developer (at least every game company) has his on guidelines and methods and doesn't share much.
So... Am I wrong ? Hope to.
What are the tools and patterns you can reuse on many projects ? Where can I find proper game architectures guidelines that reached consensus ?6 -
We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...
-
jinja templates make me look towards html in a whole new light. are we 'inserting' data to an already rendered page? am i really mixing server code with ui ? It doesn't feel so. there are if else and loops being executed for html code, like wtf?
I don't know but everything feels so good. like i was literally hating every piece of website i was writing in php. everytime i wrote <div>....</div> followed by <?php ... ?> followed by another html tag /php tag in a fuckin php file, i wanted to kill someone from w3c.
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALLOWING THE MIXUP ?WHY IS PHP FILE HOLDING HTM TAGS? WHY?WHY?WHY?
But this... this is beauty. their is separation of concerns. jinja has some big powers, we can loop, repeat, make clauses, inherit other html classes, load html content into blocks, set variables,
but main concepts like file handling, response/request handling,calculations,etc are all being done in separate python files. I know that these jinja templates also might be running python in background, but atleast a developer cannot fuck up that code.
we can be sure that if correct jinja codes are written in html, then it would load correctly. And wherever devs doesn't fuck up, the output is better to understand and more maintainable/scaleable3 -
Company website created by a third party developers ( paid ) and after a year the new company team does not like the design and asks the inhouse developer hired to create internal apps ( develop office workflow related apps) to change the design of the website and not be paid for it (add new work to the list of works and not be paid extra).
And that they don't want to pay someone to do it again and when the dev ask them what they want in the website , it seems like they are focused on updating content ( which they have access with the wordpress admin panel they have been given ) and a bit of design changes which a dev would do within a few hours and they will have to pay v little for it.
Why does ppl think that devs have all the time in the world to do free stuff !!! and most of the times we are doing more that everyone else in the workplace combined and when we don't do something its like you are not corporating with us, u don't work much and u have too much free time. -
So i want to know how finances work for tech companies. There are a lot of big numbers that come up when we talk about a company's finances, but i don't understand why the tech people are so down in the ladder, or why those no.s are not associated with the tech teams
Like here's a statement :
"company x is valuable at $42billion , their annual turnover is $5billion. With a profit of $2billion. The ceo has a worth of $1.4billion and company's share are selling at $1500 per share. Person a,b,c of the company hold's 2,3,4% in stocks and the investor sequoia capital is thinking of providing an investment of $25million"
This is a hypothetical company, but if this company is also providing its members of tech team @$20-200k per annum (depending upon seniority), then is it relatively too less? I mean the company is playing with numbers in millions, people are being attributed with billions and yet a developer has to satisfy in those numbers.
Is it because we are being paid by the no. Of hours/time? Because i want to know what other ways are there in which those managers and ceos and investors are being paid? I have heard far too many stories about devs leaving their jobs and starting businesses, and I don't think its only because their boss was a dick1 -
I've seen a lot og images om devRant lately that are shitty pictures taken with the mobile camera - the last I saw was a picture of Stack Overflow. Come on my fellow devs, screenshotting is not that hard and time consuming. We are supposed to not be computer-illiterates :D
Merry Christmas by the way!2 -
I don't often have reasons to rant, but today is the one.
We had a deadline to finish a project, because today people are being trained on it. I've been working my ass off on it for a year now.
I "finished" about 2 weeks ago, meaning QA could start for real 2 weeks ago. As you can imagine for a project this long, there was bugs. Lots of them.
We did our best to fix most of them, or find work-arounds we could use during the demo.
Let's just say it isn't going great so far. We have several known bugs, which at some point may crash the app, a very low confidence in the fact that it's going to work well.
Oh and obviously the client is one who already use heavily the solution. Today we figured we never tested on a device with 0% disk space. Files are cut partway because of that, and obviously things crash.
I have a feeling there will be yelling sometime soon.
Right now I'm enjoying the calm before the storm, with coffee in hand.
Why do people still continue to promise dates to clients, after me telling them for 5 years not to do that?
We are a 2 devs team, with 11 apps on 2 platforms, 2 back-ends (one is legacy) and obviously our marketing site, which doubles up as e-commerce. We just can't promise anything, because any emergency reduce our development bandwith for new features either to 50% or 0%. There are so much known bugs it's not funny anymore, and we don't even have time to solve those.
To add insult to injury, at the beginning of the month, the SaaS provider for our legacy back-end (which have not been maintained for 2 years now) decided we had to update to PHP7.1 before 1st October. If we don't do anything, on monday this thing is broken. I hate that thing, and I hate having to maintain it even though I was promised I wouldn't have to ever have anything to do on it.
Monday will be "fun"...2 -
Small start-up story:
The company hired independent foreign devs. The tech lead developer has decided to leave (due to some disputes with the boss(es)). The rest of his team are subcontractors/other independent devs that are good friends with the lead dev. We also recently adopted a 'scrum' which they really dislike.
So I guess there is a small change we will have a back-end team in the near future.2 -
Hi all.
I would like to know what kind of online service / software do you use to work on a project (web development) when you are a team of 3 or 4 devs.
I need something to let us do some brainstorming to find the idea of our future web app, then to prioritize what feature need to be develop first, by who, when, etc.
I found Taiga.io (an open source service and an alternative to Trello) recently, and it seems to be a good choice when we will be on development.. what do you think ? Do you have any dev tools to recommend ?3 -
This is the first time I have a bad PM and it's much worse than having a pain in the ass colleague dev. A bad dev will mess his/work project and maybe slow down 1-2 other devs.
But a bad PM will doom the whole project, wasting lots of time of the devs working under him/her. Costing much more company's money.
PM:This task should be ready by next week.
Me : This task will require X weeks time for developing and delivery
PM: What?! That's too long, it's a simple one, should be done in a few days.
Me: **explaining the challenges, limitation, env set up, testing etc. Also because I am a junior so may take more time than experienced dev**
PM: **insist that this is important blah blah**
Me: Understand your points but X days is just too little, I don't want you to blame me for missing the deadline. Either we get a reasonable deadline or you can get more experienced dev to do it faster.
**Knowing well that I have the most experience in this task and other devs are busy with their own tasks**
In the end I have to escalate this argument to more senior manager because both of us won't budge. Not only she agreed to extend the deadline she also assigned a senior dev to help me when I am stuck.
His other mistakes I noticed during my time working under him:
- not consulting senior dev for the approach to the task (thus we have to change the design twice).
- assigning tasks to people without sufficient background (a java dev is being assigned a python task, it's doable but it's going to be faster if we assign to someone with more python experience right?)
I understand that our company is short-staffed, but I begin to wonder if the stress the devs endure is because of that or because of his incompetence.
Next time, I am going to specifically ask not to work under him again.2 -
I'm working at a startup and one of the founders asked the accountant to prepare a presentation for the company's financial state. This was back for the first trimester of 2023. It said that we are losing money but not to worry because x,y,z (believable reasons).
I had yesterday a lunch conversation with the office (except the founders) and the accountant said that we are bleeding quite a lot of money each month and the company is not looking healthy.
My boss (previously CTO, has stepped down) also left the company for unrelated reasons (mainly the childish behaviour of the CEO, increased stress, devs being fired for no good (humane) reasons, stupid decisions, devs leaving and the projects going to shit due to unrealistic deadlines by new COO) .
So does anyone has any advice for job hopping for a junior front-end dev that wants to do more back-end development in the next company :)?2 -
I really love some of the job posting I saw in my community. It ALWAYS ALWAYS starts with something like this.... We are looking for experience devs that can build platforms LIKE Facebook, Alibaba, PayPal, Amazon...(a lot of big names) .Gosh. Those expectations.
-
!Rant
#serious inputs needed
I need help identifying that one big problem that all devs face. Irrespective of the language, domain, etc.. And I wanna solve it. I need your inputs on what bothers you the most, and what tech you work with.. Then we can upvote the comments that are applicable to all of us.. I'll setup a github once we come to a conclusion2 -
Hey guys is there anything we as devs could do regarding this covid-19 situation in terms of our technical skills? Like any project or something for making awareness at global or local level, or some status update regarding various things/items that are affected by this pandemic?
I am looking for ideas or currently ongoing projects that i could contribute to. Currently my tech stack is limited to java, python , android and a little bit of basic data analysis, but i am fluid enough to learn and contribute.4 -
so which job pays for improving an existing thing and not being a tool for your boss's whims? I guess the answer is a house-helper cause devs for sure aren't paid for clearing a shitty codebase.
i recently made a commit because i was do angry at the issue . this was the message "fixing a stupid bug from previous owner". it got squashed but i still felt better lol.
there are a few classes in our codebase that are so infuriating that i want to run a bulldozer on them and build from the ground up. multiple bugs ate caused from them, but we simply ignore because we know that our monkey iq QA won't be able to replicate them and we won't be answerable.
I hate to be in this position. the mgmt won't be giving me time to fix this shit but rather want us to add 2k more features to this Frankensteins monster.
adding to this, I can't get my satisfaction creating some hobby project and solving issues in that coz A) it won't be as massive as my company proj and B I won't be interested in building a dimmy project for a longer time, which does not attract any actual users :/1 -
https://devrant.com/rants/2344429/...
My dear friend shiv wrote:
"this coming year my goal is to fill up all the holes.."
And all I could think was, what, a coincidence, thats my goal too!
What are your main goals or aims for this year?6 -
Error reporting. Yeah it is a pain to come up with something that users will understand. As devs we need meaningful stacktraces so we can diagnose the problem but the normal person doesn't care. Also not having consistent messages looks terrible for the user's experience.
I hate it when there is no standardized error messages and/or json structure between teams or individual members of said teams. Why should we have 10+ different structures to code for in our apps? There is RFC 7807 for a reason. It has a defined structure plus accounts for custom properties. If you are a c# developer, check out the ProblemDetails class. It has made my life easier and I can guarantee everyone that all of my team's projects return this structure. -
Has anyone used CA's Rally for issue tracking? Is it as bad for devs as I've been warned?
We are being forced to use it instead of Jira because of the pretty reports it generates for management and I am kind of scared...5 -
Non-dev beings think devs are lifeforms with the power to read minds and foresee the future: they ask us to do things expecting we already know what they want without a concrete explanation, and want a time estimate without analysing the request nor the code.2
-
Any devs know if the Xbox One X will allocate more resources to UWP apps or do we have the same resource restrictions as the Xbox One S?
If there are more allocated, is there a way to simulate an Xbox One S usage?
Couldn't find any documentation on UWP one x development :-/ -
3 devs, one and myself are new hires. I started a week after the other new guy and my 3rd week of training is next week.
The other devices has been fixing what the Swift 3 update broke. We realized next update we will be fixing it. Time to learn Swift! -
Can we acknowledge how devrant sucks in terms of UX/UI? I mean, the desktop feels like a lazy copy of a mobile app whereas the mobile web version doesn’t even have a menu( not even including the many other issues on mobile). Feels like the devs of devrant are more focused on ranting about their own job than coming up with a better design/ functionality and / or adding PWA support and are forcing us to use their app9
-
Working along side another consultant house for a client, we have our shit ready weeks ago for integration testing (as was the deadline) against the other guys. We tell them we are ready, but we need them to be ready too, there are some tricky format things and we basically let them spec it out since they integrate further down the line.
They come _NOW_ way over deadline with change requests in message formats, like MOTHERFUCKER, IM ON MY WEEKEND NOW. We KNEW the client wanted it ready next week, thats why we were ready in time. You are not gonna cost me my weekend.
(is what i wanted to say, the devs on the other team are super nice and just absolutely overloaded with work which i cannot help them with)
One thing is certain, tonight my internet access mysteriously dissappears and wont open until monday morning. Such a shame -
Oh let the rant time begin…
So previous post I mentioned about this dev who has resigned and how I was going to see about a Snr. position.
Management is now scrambling to figure out what to do as this dev managed all the migration to AWS etc, I know servers but haven’t got too much familiarity with AWS.
Anyways so I finally get a 1:1 with my new line manager. I ask about the position and he says they don’t know what there going to do yet. Hire a new dev in India to offset and with the same knowledge even though the guy leaving is in the U.K. Bad idea as the servers are in the U.K. so if we get downtime or the server crashes we have no one in the U.K. to reset or access to the servers. India are very cagey who gets access which is annoying to say the least even though us (three devs) in the U.K. are the principal engineering team so there looking at all options.
Anyways we have a back and fourth, we discuss some of the plans for the app, some of which we are nowhere near ready to even conceptualise as the app in its current state sucks, (ruby 2.2.6 and rails 5 but not really). Needs major refactoring and rewrite, one thing they want to do is multi tendency which again given the state is laughable.
So, as my manager is speaking my head is screaming being like “this is just going to be a massive disaster”. Then we go onto that he’s seeing what everyone’s strengths are etc. And then we get onto the upgrade and that he wants me to work on it.
Yes.. the upgrade I’ve been trying to do for the past 4+ months but I keep getting told to stop and getting pushed backed.
I’ve been told we have devOps looking into restructuring the app, not possible as how the app is written, we have India trying to multi tenant again disaster incoming as they’ll end up rushing it. Legal are going to have a field day. Every time I say the issues are the fundamentals with the app, here’s how we can sort it. In one ear out the other basically there patching the ship even though it’s still leaking.
I have so many ideas, and things I can do to improve the app and get it back to not only working order, fix the performance issues, data issues and everything else. Brick wall.
So rants ensue where I basically say I would love to do the upgrade but management gives me no time in the roadmap (we have no say in planning). At this point I’m just speaking to a brick wall.
After the meeting I have a chat with the BAs, we all have the same issues so honestly it sucks we end up ranting to each other for an hour.
I’m being under-utilised, being told do this, do that even though I’ve had two stabs but told to stop and pushed back, I know what benefits I can bring to the app with a refactoring, ideas and how to properly lead the team because honestly we’re working on an old legacy app, and management are clueless and there priorities are all wrong, the company is getting frustrated and it’s a sinking ship. They would rather patch issues without solving them and everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.
Frustrating is not the word.1 -
BeautifulSoup (python module) doc is a single block of text which has an everlasting scrolling and hard to read. Examples are ok, but come on, we're devs, not text parsers. We need clear, clean and visual documentation. I neither like the organization of the Facebook API docs. It was a nightmare to build my first simple app. There are tons of this kind of messy, almost unreadable and confusing docs. It's strange, but usually these kind of docs are related to open source projects. Long life to markdown and github.4
-
Colleague is programming/scripting for over 5 years now (that I know of), even attended Udacity programming nano-degree.
Yet, he still writes code/scripts without a single function. How the hell can we start any programming best practices, clean code, or making steps towards TDD with this sort of mentality.
And it's not just him, it feels like a death by thousands cuts as the small things add up. I know we're Ops and not Devs and some other colleagues are trying really hard to get their work on the next level but I see no hope for the team as the whole.4 -
Question about scrum in terms of developer/QA workflow. We have a problem in our team: basically when a dev submits an MR it needs to get 2 approvals from devs and then task is marked ready for qa. Now problem here is that qa takes 2-3 weeks to get to the task and when they do usually MR has merge conflicts and since QA are quite new-ish they have to wait for dev for conflicts to be resolved, ergo rendering the MR unable to be tested until dev resolves the conflicts.
Our teamlead proposes to solve this by forcing devs to rebase everyday (even if QA will get to working on the task 3-4 weeks later). Problem with that approach is that each conflict resolve removes approvals. So I had a situation where in 3 weeks I rebased like 15 times and 5 times I had resolve coflicts and because approvals were lost I had to annoy all devs and ask for reapprovals. And this is only with 1 MR. Now imagine all devs doing rebasing daily and spamming each other for reapprovals. Its not efficient.
Anyone could advice how to solve this issue?7 -
Its just frustrating being a person who learns tech or any other stream from the internet.As much as i love the huge amout of information we have access to, it becomes difficult to sort through the tons of information and learn something.When i was a kid , there was a text book which had concepts which i had to understand to increase my knowledge but now without a proper sylabbus and no single source material i'm consuming everything and i end up re-reading same concept again , except this time its from another book.How do u devs get a proper sylabbus and focus yourself when you are reading about a particular subject?3
-
Being confused with technical support by everyone. I can guarantee
Even the person who wrote code for computers on board an ICBM would have been asked to help reset email passwords.
We are devs for God's sake. -
Fellow devs, I'm looking for a CMS which has markdown support and allows authorized entry.
Basically we are working with some clients on some IP. We want to convey what we have worked up via a website. But we want the access to be regulated.
We are currently using wiki to maintain the information.
What are my alternatives?14 -
I am legit getting tired of trying to help people improve and hit huge roadblocks because nobody seem to care if what we do works for the intended purpose.
I have seen some terrible unstable code that fails 50% of the time on run time and never was reviewed or tested on core software, but since it was worth a lot of story points, people get congratulated for finishing it but nobody bothers checking if it really works in the first place. Story points are meaningless in this Agilefall Frankenstein shit process we use and bosses keep saying they will improve it but nothing gets done.
Worst thing is my work often depends on this shit.
I swear one of my good colleague and I are trying to introduce commit and PR gating, code review, code quality to avoid as much problems as possible while speeding up CI and documentation but 90% of devs do not give a single fuck about it. They just bypass it with admin rights because it supposedly slows them down.
When I bring up to management that the processes are terrible, I get the classic "we can't force people to use these processes because we have to respect their work ethics and it is different from yours." While I get that some things are subjective, in this case that's a lot of words to say they suck and give no fucks.
Sorry for the rant, it is starting affect my morale and efficiency at work, but I know every workplace got its problems.2 -
Me: removed appsettings.development.json from git index, because every time we pull, we have to correct the files of 8 api's, just to be able to build that ducktape solution
Other devs: we can't build anymore, our appsettings.development.json are gone!!!!!
Manager: (total silence on my 'good morning') you broke our application!!!!
Me: checks 8 appsettings.development.json in
Almost everybody HAPPY3 -
What's your team's best practice when using JIRA (on premises or cloud) and VSTS or GitHub?
Who manages issues/tickets and are they duplicated in both locations? Is one for PM only and other for Devs??
We have both tools and I'm trying to figure out a workflow that doesn't kill devs and PMs.
We have Office 365 so I heavily use MS Flow to help (Jira bug turns into vsts work item) etc, but any insight from anyone who has a similar setup would be appreciated! -
So I'm tasked with creating a single sign on link using documentation from the third party we are logging into. So far so good.
Well they don't support some of the fields our users will need--that we don't want to support (otherwise why use a third-party?).
Their solution is to make us the system of record so that when a user goes through the single sign on we pass this info as well. But it needs to be editable on their side well--because they won't give us an API for our system of record to update their side.
That's right only a user signing on from our system will update their side. Tough luck admins on our side. You get double duty due to the poor business decision to work with a company with lazy devs. -
So basically, At work, we are starting to get bigger, more devs, more ppl, but we are starting to get QA, and PM, and Im starting to hate it4
-
Who else wants to rant about a game called helldivers 2 .... the devs nerfed our guns ... we are told to go to war and we were told our guns were the finest in the land ....3
-
Just got myself acquainted with a senior gamedev dude in some unnamed startup studio that just got recently funded by some unnamed gigantic -company-that-makes-billions-of-bux. We were shooting darts and enjoying some booze when they let me know that they are in immediate need of devs for their company.
Goddamnit. Why is this sort of shit always happen when I am working already? Not that I'm complaining about my current work (it's still awesome, job-wise and pay-wise), but working in games, and all the bullshit associated with it, is still a dream for me, and most devs I know.1 -
So, management seem laser focused on hiring folks with work visa. What’s up with that? The latest five new employees. At least two of them utterly useless (have not worked with the others).
These are devs. ”Senior” as stated by closest manager. 😬 Yeah…ok.
It such a worthless leadership. It’s alot about
”We successfully filled the position for a senior developer”
or
”I am happy to announce that the new release manager for system X has been hired”
All about numbers. Closing the deal. Never about quality.
I guess salary is a BIG issue here and that is why we see this. I have no problem with VISA employees. But they seem bad at what-they-are-doing. Just…incompetent. *sigh*2 -
Org is doing a major conversion to containerized solutions and modern technology. Most of which I can wholly support, only 1 catch. everything will need to be ported to Java. we are a mixed shop of largely PHP and Javascript devs with only a handful of devs who actively use Java regularly, this change throws away tons of previously built battle tested code in order to swap to putting all new code on an all new platform. I thought the point of containers was to be able to isolate and run whatever you want within the container and have it highly portable...
-
Devs to BA : heres an output for the fields that client requested logic to be changed can you test and tell me if the fields are fine
BA to Devs : client does not test with these fields so we cant as well -
So we are 8 devs in our scrum team but 2 major refactors felll on my shoulders (initially they were supposed to be fairly simple tasks, but like that malcolm in the middle video 2 tasks became 10 tasks in the past month) and I have been working from 11 am till 4 am for the past 1 or 2 weeks. Just yesterday I worked until 7am. Slept only 4 hours... Trying to play it cool, since I asked for a raise 5 weeks ago and still waiting for answer.
I havent told anyone because partially its my own stubborness of wanting to learn things and not wanting to bother others with questions, but Im starting to loose it.
And all because my pushed initial features resulted in unexpected blockers so scrum team leaders had an all hands meeting and my newly appointed teamlead started shitting bricks.
Meanwhile all other devs pick a low hanging fruit tasks and sit around for 2-3 weeks while I have to do heavy lifting alone with some guidance from other devs.
We dont even have QA resources. We have 2 new hires who will be useful maybe after 3-4 months and we have 1 QA guy who judging by his output is working part time. Also same guy managed to take 2 weeks of vacation in the past 4 weeks.
So due to lack of QA and due to code reviews taking long time it takes over a week for code to be reviewed and tested and each time if a blocker happens I have like 2 or 3 days to rush until end of the sprint in order to fix the feature for upcoming release or I have to move tasks to another sprint and feel bad about spillover.
Imagine implementing something in 2 weeks, just to wait for another 1-2 weeks for changes to be reviewed/tested and now having to fix blockers. And then teamlead comes up to you with being surprises how come shipping of this is taking longer than 4-5 weeks? Dude, I did my fucking part in 1-2 weeks, its not my fault that other devs perform code reviews late and they dont even launch the app to test. Its not my fault that we have very limited QA resources and our only QA guy is not even testing out everything properly.
Seriously Im starting to fucking loose it. We are basically 8 devs in a team where 2 people are doing all the heavylifting.