Manager: "Pls deploy the changes ASAP."

Me: "Right away."

Me: *creates pull request*

... 5min later ...

GitHub: "Some checks haven't completed yet."

... 45min later ...

GitHub: "Some checks haven't completed yet."

Me: *looks into delay*

CircleCI: "Partial System Outage"

——

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Top 10 anime betrayals

We've had a bunch of flaky tests in our repo for a while now that no one could be bothered to fix; we'd just re-run ci until it's green. Today I looked into it and I was inspired to make this meme, because I lived through it.

Adding logs to investigate just lowered the fail rate making investigation more difficult. I do have an idea of what it might be though so, we'll see tomorrow.

Hm. Hm. I see what you did there, Microsoft.

What the actual fuck GitHub/CircleCI?!??

I transformed a GitHub account into an organisation and lost admin access to a repo even though I'm the owner of the organisation. Now I can't even access the settings for the repo on CircleCI. What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?!!?! THE FUKKKKKKKKKKKk?

My friend learnt how to use CircleCI for his laravel projects and he hasn't given me a breathing space since, he's constantly saying "I'm now a DevOps engineer".

I told him "You're only only a BugOps engineer". 😂😂

me too Circle

Can we please make a Over Engineered Section....

This happened a couple of weeks ago...
Hey platform engineer team, we need a environment spun up, it's a static site, THATS IT!

PE Team response.. okay give us a 2 weeks we need to write some terraform, update some terraform module, need you to sign your life away as the aws account owner, then use this internal application to spin up a static site, then customize the yml file to use nuxt, then we will need you to use this other internal tool to push to prod...

ME: ITS a static site... all I need is a s3 bucket, cloudfront, and circleci

First rant here..

So earlier this week, on a php Laravel project, I created a set of nice new features.

The code is tested, locally all fine, I push to Github, circleCi kicks in and double checks myself, still everything green. (Just for a not, its a private project so only I work on it.)

I go ahead and merge, deploy to staging and continue on my next ticket, which is a very small one.

I call it the day, next day I pick back up where I left, test locally, all green, push... then circleCi says no.

I spend 2 days debugging, trying to figure out what is wrong without advance. I just push develop branch again, guess what also failing.

I leave it for the day as I already spend enough time on it.

This morning, I simply do a composer update, push and everything miraculously starts working.. even if there were no changes in the working branches.

Im so mad right now, and this is going in my "try this before you debug a ci" book..

CircleCI:
- Ensuring work has meaning: "Let's make yet an other dashboard webapp that going to replace all of our dashboard webapps which we made to replace all of our dashboard webapps"

-Solving interesting problems: "Let's make this with java 15 instead of java 14!!!! Also add graphql to ADD interesting problems nobody had since the nineties!"

- Gain meaningful value from talent: 'Bitbucket and the whole pipeline died fourth time this week, I'm going to drink a coffee or two..."

- Developers in flow: "Joe went to have a lunch around 11:00, you probably should not look for him until 14:30."

- Bring buying decisions closer to the engineering team: "The boss tried to bring up the pros and cons between aws and azure... The police eventually had to break the ensuing fight in the meeting room. The survivors reported things got truly out of hand when someone mentioned line-endings"

- Bring leadership closer to the engineering team: "There was yet an other agile coached hired, when she asked how should we measure velocity one of the lead devs managed to actually wake up and told her that the wifi is still pretty fucking slow"

-$ gulp test

*30 seconds later*

SUCCESS

[oh wait, for got something... Typety type... Fixed. I don't need to rerun gulp test, right?]

-$ git push

*email from CircleCI: BUILD FAILED*

😊🔫

F*ck you CircleCi

"I'm gonna wake up early, and hammer out this feature, being super productive tomorrow"

Tomorrow comes:
- unexpected build errors
- unexpected runtime errors
- intermittent CI pipeline errors
- spends two hours trying to resolve errors
- literally hasn't touched the thing that's important

What else is going to go sideways? Watch Bitbucket or CircleCI fuck up and refuse to deploy this live for some stupid reason.

Question for devs who work in large multi-team environments:

A) What is your code review process like? Does a senior review it once and then it's off to QA or do you have "levels" of approval?

B) If you're launching a feature that depends on another team how are you coordinating it? Do you just talk over a ticket and then hit merge and deploy at the same time or like what's your process like?

C) What CI/CD tool do you use? Also what code hosting platform do you use? Github/GItlab/etc.

D) Are you currently happy with the CI tool you're using? If not what are some common issues you're facing?

My department never has real pressure like real outside deadlines. Except for this project.
Now guess what happened during the final hours of the project:
Fuckin circleCI goes into "degraded performance" (last time it was "partial outage").
I feel like calling my friends Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels over for some late night work. :P

My complete day consists out of waiting for CircleCI. Why the hell is it slow af today?
I feel like playing fuckin Hay Day and am waiting for my carrots to sprout.

!rant
Yesterday at 1:20 am, my first docker image build worked.

- I develop my software (a service in a micro-service architecture) in symfony
- I push it to bitbucket, CircleCI pull the code
- builds a new docker image
- Runs phpunit test using docker exec (lxc-exec, their docker exec doesn't work)
- If the test are successful, CircleCI push the image to hub.docker.com.

Took me hours to fix all the bugs and issues with this process. I feel so proud, yet soooooooooo tired fuck sakes.

I'll publish the template for everything,

- the Dockerfile for the perfect symfony2 image IMO (and I'll create a public symfony2 image)
- The circle.yml I used etc.

Give back to the community.

I love my job.

!Rant

Today I figured out how to cache the 'node_modules' folder on all my CircleCI builds, which cut the build time by 4 minutes, about 60%!

👍🍰

Question for my fellow devs:

Do you feel like you are spending too much time on maintaining ur devops/infrastructure rather than focusing on the actual product?

Do you think your company would be willing to spend a bit of money to outsource scaling problems to someone else and just focus on the product?

Ik we got lots of fancy new CI platforms like Circle CI GH actions etc but like I personally feel like I’m doing certain infrastructure tasks twice when I look at the two different codebases I work on.

CircleCI takes the cake for the most annoying of constant development advertisement campaigns on YouTube, change my mind.
I mean, the product is nice and everything, but what the hell? Why should *I* make sense of your changelog - just go and show what it does in practice! Ugh, why I must teach you marketing, CircleCI, smh...

This fucking ci/cd test keeps deleting my dB collections and I can't see what the fuck is going on. Circleci is of the devil and I won't stop fucking using it. I must crack this shit😡

What is your best CI/CD tool? I find Travis awesome for a beginner like me.

Does anyone uses GoCD over Jenkins?
Is it really better or just a nice homepage?

The interface remembers me CircleCI.

Any ideas how to skill up devops ? Currently in company im doing simple things with kubernetes, aws, terraform and circleci, and the whole idea click to create your inba cluster is interesting, smells like a few steps from cybersecurity!
Soo i decided to write an app, with two environments, which are staging and prod, configure some ci pipeline, kubernetes deployments and terraform, everything with usage of aws, and then when i will be okay with it, send cv's as devops and change career path.
Seems legit or waste of time ?

I've spent two days of holiday to setup CircleCI. And I can't **believe** how hard they make such an essential service. I've uploaded 16 commits to Github just to fix the configuration. And what's the best part? It still doesn't work! The configuration reference is useless.
*looks at CircleCI*
Oh what's that? They're having a system slowdown? well, GOOD FOR ME... /s