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Client: When I hit the “Subscribe” button, it gives me an error.
Me: What’s the error message?
Client: The email field is required.
Me: Have you entered your email before hitting the “Subscribe” button.
Client: Oh, I have enter my email address?
Me: Yes
English is a very complicated language.7 -
Compilation completed. Output file size: 15KB
*Adds a JSON library*
Compilation completed. Output file size: 1.4MB
SON OF A BITCH10 -
This is so true (not for me).
People (normies) bitch about security, but they click on any and every link, while putting all their information all over the internet.
7 -
Me: I'm gonna write some code today. Try to push more commits in a single day than I did last week.
Github: You only get half a contribution tile today, bitch.
5 -
WTF! over 5000+ attempts in less than 3 hours. Some bitch trying to hijack me machine!
Am i the only one experiencing this shit?
27 -
It's sooo awesome when a challenging project starts giving results. The confidence levels go straight to - THROW ANYTHING AT ME BITCH! I CAN DO IT!2
-
This bitch at work is afraid of hard work and is currently spending more energy fighting the work than just doing it.
She wants to keep a legacy setting that's on the wrong scope -- per merchant, not per payment -- in addition to the setting I've added on the correct scope. She's bringing in management two levels up all because "I've already moved on from this" and "it will require me to write code quite a bit" (first paraphrased for clarity, second is an exact quote)
Bitch, your way is dirty as fuck and is going to break things. Roll up your sleeves and do your damn job!11 -
Web Developer Profanity:
Dreamweaver = Motherfucker
GoDaddy = Son of a Bitch
Wix = Go Fuck Yourselves
SquareSpace = Hipster Assholes
Web.com = Piles of dogshit
ASP = Pain in the Ass.15 -
Hubby and I work for the same company. His boss is a twat who's always trying to fire him. Told my hubby's boss he needed to be more clear with expectations and bring issues up before he gets pissed and can't respond appropriately. Then I walk away. Then I email him apologizing for taking to him and that I'm not planning to talk to him again.
That little bitch went to HR and said he felt threatened by me, demanded that I be required to work from home. My boss said no.
Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha 😂8 -
!rant
This dumb pretentious bitch.
We are both computer science students, she is writing her bachelor thesis, I'm in 4th semester, but have 6 years of professional programming experience.
So naturally when she had a problem implementing the MOTHERFUCKING PREPARING SOFTWARE, which she needs to begin writing her thesis I helped her.
First I started explaining every last bit of code, trying to teach her something, so that she wouldn't need my help ALL the time.
After a while I realised that this BLOODY GIRL FROM HELL acquired nearly half her credits by other peoples help, so I just fix the code hoping it would be over soon.
When that software was done, keep in mind, I coded nearly 90 FUCKING PERCENT OF THAT SHITTY ASS PIECE OF CRAP SOFTWARE, she asked me to also "help" her implementing a generator for samples she could test the software with.
Naturally at this point I said I'd be busy with own projects etc. And declined.
So now, nearly 1 Month after she didn't talk to me, THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT WANNABE SCIENCE BACHELOR asked if I could help her with LaTEX.
At first I was speechless. How could she have that amount of balls, asking me that. As I only am a ranting asshole inside, I declined in the most polite way.
WHAT THE FUCK! I HOPE YOU WILL FAIL YOUR THESIS AND ALL THE 12 SEMESTERS YOU STUDIED WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING, THUS SENDING YOU TO LIVE ON THE STREET WITHOUT MONEY AND DIE A HORRIBLE AND LONELY DEATH SURROUNDED BY BEGGERS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR KIDNEYS!
Sincerely,
Me.14 -
My boss trying to fool me on my vacation days. Trying to force me to use them for days I were sick. Bitch. NO!1
-
By far the best co-worker. She's doesn't bitch and complain or make excuses.
And let's be honest, she's cute as fuck.
3 -
import java.util.Exception;
try {
public class A {
public static void main(String args[]) {
new Exception();
}
}
}
catch(Exception e) {
System.out.println("Got you BITCH");
}
9 -
First day of work. I would think that the company would have prepared a bloody workstation for me but hey, didn't think much of it. Only spent about 15 fucking minutes finding the right computer to give me.
Next, I had to open visual studio 2013 to set up (I meditated the night before for this). It then gave the usual "This may take a few minutes" bullshit message. That message appeared at 0900. It is now 0930. 30 BLOODY FUCKING MINUTES!! At the 15th minute mark, I decided to check the computer's properties, wondering why it was taking its sweet ass time. I couldn't believe my bloody, fucking, god-given eyes. 4GB OF FUCKING RAM INSTALLED ON A FUCKING 32-BIT WIN7 OS! AND ONLY 2.99GB IS USABLE!! HOW DO THEY EXPECT ME TO DEVELOP WITH THAAAAAT???? CHROME TAKES UP LIKE ALL OF THAT!! &#;?@,×&@@&*×,×&;÷*÷, EID MWMALWMDNLWKSNSKSKDKKEMSKAKASLSMDBDNSNMSM
I SWEAR IF I DONT GET A CHANGE IN COMPUTERS, I WILL PUNCH A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!11 -
2AM and a birthday party of my BELOVED mother that I have to attend tomorrow in the middle of bumfuck. And I'm not sleeping, oh no.. because "family obligations" require me to get her a present on 2 days notice. I'm making her something very simple, some LED's displaying her new age, powered by a lithium cell and some charge-boost-protection controller. So I need to make a mesh to place the LED's to make those characters.
Measuring the size of the project box, cut it out.. started drawing the numbers on it. Not satisfied and ain't nobody got time for that. Guess I'll just print something out. Drew a little image with some text on my tablet, sent it to the printer. Black apparently doesn't want to print anymore even though it's still fucking full.
HP YOU CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!! How fucking difficult can it be to make a printer and make it into something that doesn't shit on me every fucking time I want to use it?! Why do I have to deal with your shit, on top of my mother's?! WHY?!!!!
Fuck me. Happy birthday to my mother, and silently I wish that it's her last one. The bitch wouldn't - no she didn't - piss on me even when I was on fire!! Where were you "dear family member" when I was homeless, huh?! WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN I STOOD ON TOP OF A BRIDGE, READY TO END MY LIFE AND BEGGED TO YOU TO ALLOW ME TO STAY IN YOUR HOME FOR THE NIGHT?! Mother my fucking ass. A blood bond that I wish I never had! And that I have to work for now, because you fucking bitch can't even possibly think as far into the future as to invite your peers for a birthday party.. I dunno, maybe a week in advance, like a sensible human being would? At least she's improving, my little sister's and brother's birthdays she just invited me for the day before. And I also had to get a present ready for, in the middle of the fucking night. Fucking hell!!!12 -
Teacher: Who do you think you are, young man?
Me: I am DA GREATEST!
Teacher: -_- ... Says who?
Me: Google BITCH!
5 -
"You use a Mac. How cute. You must not know anything about computers, Apple fanboy. Windows is far superior."
"Unix, bitch. Fuck you."
#atleastuselinuxffs9 -
Windows you absolute bitch. No prompt, nothing. Just started updating in the middle of my unsaved homework.
31 -
OS relationship(explicitly)
Windows is my girlfriend
Mac is that rich girl I always wanted to
Fuck
And
Linux is Side bitch that I only use when above are not responding8 -
I have never written a single unit test in my life. Hence my code breaks from time to time. Karma is a bitch 🤣3
-
This is how y'all look when you bitch about programming languages in which your experience with it does not go beyond trivial hello world shit.
4 -
Just wrote a brute-force attack simulation in c. Going to run it on actual hardware, with an 8-character limit, including alphabet (Upper and lower case), 0-9 and a few special characters and see if it gets done tonight ;)
I'll see you all in about 360 trillion operations.11 -
Iphone 7, with everything you already had minus a port,
➕ some extra dollars,
because it's Apple bitch.6 -
if (ENV === “dev”)
{....}
^ An ex-colleague Pushed this to production and asked why the code didn’t work.
WHY BITCH, WHY?3 -
I don't know who you are but I will find you and I will install linux in your pc
Fuck off bitch
My bios is password protected9 -
You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT
I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF
dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.
Dude even said wow.
I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"
Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.
*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead8 -
So I ran grep to count the occurrences of the word "bitch" In a pretty large project of ours... eleven. ELEVEN.
12 -
Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, how are things? 😎
———————————————
Bitch we aren’t friends. Where’s the job spec?8 -
"...we're using Java. That fat bitch doesn't just eat memory, she just deep-throated her sixth serving and is showing no signs of relenting"
-Me, 2k182 -
This should keep them busy for a while! asking me 'would I recommend?' Bitch please! that's my feedback
5 -
Apple for it's T2
IBM for being a bitch
Oracle for being an asshole
Facebook for being a pimp
Microsoft for being Microsoft8 -
I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.
Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.
I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance. -
Being a developer is a funny old thing. We sit and bitch about developing for clients, we bitch IDE'S and we bitch about languages.
But to perfectly honest, I don't know where I'd be without it.6 -
Sorry bitch raised her voice at me because “it’s ITs job to change a lightbulb!” BITCH! I will shove that fucking lightbulb down your throat.... and I’ll make damn sure it busts so you NEVER raise your annoying fucking voice at me again.13
-
Android development: Just got a RecyclerView to use two different types of ViewHolders. What a bitch to get working, but the performance benefits will always keep me coming back...7
-
Dear XCode I hope you fucking burn in hell you piece of shit! can't do anything without that shit either indexing, or freezing, or crashing!
FUCK YOU BITCH!9 -
I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.
I cry like a bitch when I get home.6 -
Just wanted to say my co-worker Jason is a bitch, thanks for handing me broken projects to fix. He's always on this so I hope he sees this 🙃8
-
The best part about being a teaching assistant in programming is the ability to bitch about bad code.
The worst part is all the bad code...2 -
When someone says that Node.js cannot become enterprise standard like Java. Bitch what the fuck is Netflix, Yahoo, WalMart and PayPal using. Fuck you!17
-
Chrome is getting its ass whooped and then crying like a whiny bitch.
Using 90.1% of CPU.
PS: I have a i7 8th gen processor.
20 -
Anyone else realllllllly hate hearing the sound of their voice played back? I had to record some little videos of a short user process today and oof! My accent is much stronger than I thought it was9
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Nothing pisses me off more than a manager that keeps demanding shit but when you ask for support they deny it from you. well guess what? two can play this game, bitch.2
-
That annoying co-worker that asks you each and everything about programming and when you tell them, they be like "Oh I already knew that"
WTF Bitch!3 -
People wanted Microsoft to change and now that they have changed people bitch about it. Shit's fucking wild and stupid.
Can't please everyone though 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️7 -
I really despise the non-tech sluts who think their only job is to hold meetings and "talk". "Do you wannaa taalk about iiit?" Fuck you bitch you're not my therapist.2
-
So Android Studio + Ubuntu VM = 16GB RAM are not enough, but how about Android Studio INSIDE Ubuntu VM, that will teach that bitch to stick to 4GB RAM usage!2
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useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.2 -
Just developer things...
Debugging mode be like: dunno where you are or how you work bitch... But Imma gonna find ya
-
I'm a stupid twat. Spent at least three hours today, all wasted. I had to update a user manual and change all the branding for a system I've licencesd and going to resell to my dumb clients. There was no original to work from only a pdf. Managed to convert it to word but all the formatting was fucked. So set up some heading and paragraph styles, proper header and footer and auto generate TOC's. I did all this without actually reading it, thought I'd get the formatting and branding out of the way first. So after all that I started the job of editing it and updating it. Quickly realised that PDF I converted was for a different but similar system. Tommorow is Groundhog Day.
-
If you're ever feeling unskilled at development, just remember:
One of the most famous questions on Stack Overflow is "how to exit vim?"
Jk, Vim's a bitch.2 -
Hey Guys Look.
It's that asshole who never paid me calling me about his brand new idea.
Should I pick it?8 -
Creating an API is not too difficult. However, OAuth2.0 is a bitch. Who the hell thought this was reasonable?4
-
I just called my girlfriend to check up on her.
She said she's in church,
I said "put JESUS on the phone"
...
I don't trust that Bitch :)3 -
When your bitch-ass co-worker inserts something that is plain useless in the program in every degree
1 -
Bitch plz, in Argentina arrays start at two.
There is no platform 0 neither platform 1 in any station
2 -
So im @ a starbucks, mindin my own fucking business doing work shit when this bitch sit down at my table tryna get my dick like eat shit im working lmao17
-
In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:
HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release
She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?
HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?
FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY5 -
Great week, been super productive and very happy about.
*wild junior boss appears*
"You should have done it differently! You didn't know it and it's your fault for not asking me about stuff you didn't know existet. I often screw things up and blame others, but i made the boss like me so it's okay. And since i lost my spine some time ago, i will now go suck my own dick and feel awesome . "
Not sure that is exactly what he said, but he meant it. -
Windows son of a bitch, motherfucker, moron, fucking dog, sister fucker, RAM fucker, PC fucker, fucking antimalware mother fucking shit motherfucker.4
-
As a Dev in college working for teams in college, I don't really have a need to use git, since most of 'self proclaimed prestigious programmer child prodigies' I work with have no idea what it is; but I use it anyways as good programming practice and ease of backups.
So I tried using a GUI client after months of the git bash, and even though I looked up a few tutorials (was embarrassed the whole fucking time). I ended up adding, committing and pushing via bash.
Can anyone explain me how is the GUI client helpful in large projects and stuff?8 -
BITCH THE APPLICATION WORKS PERFECTLY FINE!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DATA YOU GAVE ME WAS FUCKED UP LIKE YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE YOU SHIT HEAD COMPUTER ILLITERATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE SON OF A BITCH1
-
FUCK YOU YOU SHITTY COCK SUCKING BITCH MOTHERFUCKER.
GO DIE IN A HOLE THEN GET RAPED IN HELL. I REALLY HATE THIS SHIT.
FUCK OFF GOOGLE.
12 -
In this world where everyone is a lying son of a bitch, being truthful is hot as fuck. Be hot as fuck!4
-
"Aww yeah, Bootstrap 4 is coming!"
Shut up bitch! I started 2 years back with web development when I was a noob and since then you are coming.1 -
Bloody bitch. Asks me to analyze pretty big schema and write my concerns. Sits with me for 30 minutes, gets the details and sends a mail to the lead and claims 12 fucking hours of work. It's me who did all the work bitch not you. I am supposed to report to her.1
-
We bitch about JavaScript a lot, but I have never encountered a language with better out of bounds index handling for its array methods. It does make some projects considerably easier!7
-
Used a general technical word as a name for a group project.
And that ignorant bitch googled and copy pasted the definition of that term to describe the project in documentation.2 -
PC: *37 tabs open in chrome and a gradle task running*
Me: *trying to close a tab*
PC: Bitch please2 -
I am going to create a define in my code:
#define BIT_CH CHAR_BIT
Then do search replace of CHAR_BIT to "update" the code. Probably need to wait for a refactor. No idea if CHAR_BIT is even used in our code base. I just want to be a BIT_CH.
I was sitting here thinking what a valid use for an object called BitCh or BitChar. Still trying to come up with some valid reason to create such an object.
And people say programming as an art is dead.8 -
On a related note
Here is something we should not find funny
But still they found a way with a screaming bitch in a nighty
-
Come on bitch. Fucking tell me how programmers were better in the "old times".
People fucking died because of stupid race conditions and bad practices.
https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/...6 -
Tech sector job interviews assess anxiety, not software skills - ‘A new study finds that the technical interviews currently used in hiring for many software engineering positions test whether a job candidate has performance anxiety rather than whether the candidate is competent at coding. The interviews may also be used to exclude groups or favor specific job candidates.’
Full story: https://sciencedaily.com/releases/...
Fucking coding interviews3 -
Left the desk to look something to eat in the fridge. Returned 5 mins later to find my laptop restarted all by itself.
Microsoft, you evil bitch.2 -
Fren: yo check this IC out
[blinks]
"Okay, s-"
[suddenly bitch ass contraption squirts milk on my face]
[bitch ass fren runs]
,w, <(motherfucker y u do dis) -
Gmail: We will be supporting css media queries from now on.
Users: Bitch please, we still use Outlook as our default email app.2 -
Deadline approaching. Gotta stop reading in office and slog my ass off for next 6 days. Damn life's a bitch. I made that bitch, a bitch.
-
People who write open letters on medium or anywhere on the internet. Bitch this is the internet everything is an open letter3
-
Still gonna harp on Javascript though. Come on people. This platform is supposed to be fun. Have fun and bitch about everything. Even non existent stuff!
15 -
It would be great if you didn't change your changes after I implement them you fucking inconstant bitch...2
-
Dear, ionic
WebView is the worst idea ever.
make it native, bitch.
Look at React Native, they're doing it.3 -
Update: for those of you who know cougar woman/ my self proclaimed "work mom" in my previous posts (bitch who keeps stealing my lunch), yesterday she really tipped me over the edge. So I'm fucking hauling ass on my sprint work because I had to take over another team member's tasks (because he "doesn't have time" for it being prod support but all I see him doing is shitposting at his desk) and someone from another team asked the cougar a question about something. she comes up to me all demanding like "HEY you, you got the worksapce open?"
I was like um... no I don't. I'm working on the other application.
and then she's like "Look at my laptop and show him". Okay bitch let me just drop everything I'm doing to help a random person. The fact that she commanded me instead of just asking me pissed me off. Not even a single sign of "please". I'm tired of her truly. She is a snake. Even to her friend on our team. Every time he's out she's like "hey where is _____? huh why isn't he here??? hmmm" in an instigating way to remind everyone that he might've taken off for no reason. When I was too sick to volunteer at an event she organized in the morning on Saturday, she asked me the following Monday, "oh did you drink too much? lmao. a spiteful, grudge holding bitch for sure2 -
I fucking hate SO ! No sense of gratitude at all.. :/ Fucking arrogant fucker's ..One thing I've realised during answering question's in SO..It's like a bitch ! You should bang and throw it,shouldn't think about loving it.10
-
Annoying thing when your accuracy is going up but your val_acc is sticking around 0.0000000000{many zeros later}01
😒 Somebody shoot this bitch!5 -
I'm using fucking Fortran 77 and Perl
The government needs to start funding nuclear or I will beat a bitch -
This bitch sent me a email to rename a file. That I didn't name and is getting a attitude.....I am gonna quit today guys. Its fucking live boys.2
-
So I get sweet cravings when I feel down. Yesternight, after dinner, ate loads of chocolate cookies 🍪.
Dreamt of a dystopian society with things happening that could only happen in a science fiction setting with all the AI and cybernetics. Man that was crazy and scary at the same time. What a rollercoaster ride.
Gonna do it again tonight 😆6 -
just saying, NO ONE who has forgotten their username should be expected to remember their password.
have a nice day.2 -
Aubergine, oukome, taupe… wtf man. Just call colors old fashioned names, you know? Red, blue, green, yellow? Bitch13
-
"phone book of the internet"
Bitch please, we already know how the DNS works no need to remind me each time i create a domain5 -
I'll transform Co-worker into Co-student.
Personality wise most are like a brick, or a shoebox.
Most memorable would be the radical feminist bitch.3 -
Regretting I ever put Mongo on this app's stack... It's been great to learn in the process, but man it can be a bitch to setup sometimes...
-
Hey, blonde bitch.
How about you leave the UX design to someone that can get the printer to do double sided first try. Okay?3 -
React native never fails to amuse me!
For fuck sake few seconds difference in time between development machine and my phone causes the app to crash on long tap!
The solution on their GitHub was to fix time difference between Android and mac 🤦🏼♂️
What... The.... FUCK!
4 -
USB3.x is such a bitch.
My mouse laggs like hell when I put a USB3-thumbdrive on the same root hub, even if I don't read or write on the drive.
Morons, morons everywhere4 -
If you write an editor or input field, and do not respect our Ctrl+Backspace expectations, I will turkey-slap yo ass, bitch.
-
Project manager: Hey tyga hows the project going?
Tyga the coder/rapper:bug city bitch, bug bug city bitch, 10, 10, 10, 20 errors on my terminal bitch1 -
How to say, "I am sorry you are behind, but you promised these documents over a week ago. You said they would take 3 days to make. I have 4 bosses breathing down my neck for them and their derivatives. Give them to me you goat fondler!" but without backlash?
The least he could do is respond to my emails asking for updates -
Old bitch just cut me off on my bike and almost killed me, we need another boomer remover. They properly fucked this planet already and honestly might start killin them myself.4
-
Starting to get into intricacies of javascript.
Question was: when and why do you bind your functions?
Farking hell， no wonder people bitch about javascript.3 -
ASP: Here's your cookie value. I went ahead and automatically removed all the space characters for you. Wasn't that nice?
Me: GO FUCKING SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE AND FUCKING DIE IN A FUCKING FIRE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
ASP: :( but I just--
Me: FUCKING DO IT -
mov al, [var]
var db 07h
Error on line 1: undefined operation size.
Silly me defining a byte, using mov on a byte-wide register with said byte-wide variable. What size it could be, the byte-wide variable is soo fucken unknown i'm so sorry.1 -
Moment.js, because without it, formatting and converting JS Date objects to other timezones is a bitch
-
Soceiety is a bitch.
Society advantages the stupid
Society makes Intelligent people fail
O and society is pro school22 -
I just realized if I liked my job and couldn't bitch about it, I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself...
-
I remember few years back when I had subscribed to this ISP, where few months on subscription worked flawlessly. Then it was all downwards from there. Customer care never answered. Charged for bloddy whole month whilst the working was just for 2 weeks. People subscribing to this ISP had a facebook group named ISP Victim. Was forced to change my ISP.
Now, few days back they put up a stall in an IT exhibition. I went up and signed in for their service. Now they call me for setting up their network, either i tell them am not available or dont answer at all. I do the same to them what they did to me. That utmost pleasure HAHA. I shared this idea in the facebook group and people are starting to do the same.
I feel like a con artist now. -
worked the whole weekend on a presentation my boss held today. he totally messed up and gave false interpretation to every single number. karma's a bitch😁
-
While in chat lobby of *favorite game* tell others that fixing issues they bitch about is done by pressing Alt+F4, and then Alt+Ctrl+Del twice.
-
Testing out server settings to host rails application. Setup is a bitch compared to PHP but the work flow is amazing :D1
-
Just created a new project folder. Dropped it into the filing cabinet right next to the folder i already created for this project. Son of a bitch.
-
There is a particular power move when you take someone's shit code, refactor it to make it faster, safer and more readable and then request a review from them on your PR. "See how I dunked on you, bitch. This is what superiority is about." And at the same time you can be perfectly polite with "oh you know this part of the code well, I wouldn't want to break anything there" with the "bitch" just strongly implied.3
-
I was looking at some code to add some quick features to it and muttering to myself, "whoever wrote this piece of shit... I'd possibly torture the guy to death if I get my hands on him now". Guess who's the guy... I'm sure two years from now I'd be saying the same thing about the stuff that I've written tonight...1
-
Dear Windows,
you done fucked it up!
I had a god damnit run, finishing the last mammoth task of our sprint.
Then, i decided to take a 3 minutes bio break.
Came back to my machine just to realise that this little OS bitch sneaked up on me, used the few seconds of my break to do a unholy, reboot of doom and damnation.
As a result, my virtual machine dropped it's php-storm settings...
I lost my precious focus on the task and my last nerves to figure out the correct settings again.
To cut a long story short.
We missed the aim of the Sprint.
The Sprint failed and i got a half-baked module.
At least, all the complicated businesslogic is proper covered by unittests.2 -
Computer! I live in a state of constant mental exhaustion. What does this mean?
*BEEP-BOOP*. IT MEANS YOU'RE STRESSED, BITCH.
Interesting. How do I get rid of this... "stress" you speak of?
*BEEP-BOOP*. GO OUT, BITCH. SEE NATURE, BITCH. CONNECT WITH HUMAN BEINGS, BITCH.
Oh, fuck no, that's just not going to happen. Any other tips?
*BEEP-BOOP*. STOP USING DRUGS, BITCH. YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE, BITCH.
Well, fuck me, I can't do that either; guess I'll just take this with me to the grave. Thanks anyway, computer.
*BEEP-BOOP*. YOU'RE WELCOME, BITCH. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, BITCH.
Yes, I hope as much. The sooner the better.5 -
"There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses."---Bjarne Strostrup
-
Java's such a bitch, it won't house pointers but throw a NullPointerException at even the most insignificant lines possible.1
-
Endianess is such a fucken bitch. On one hand I never stumble upon it but currently it's a thing in any project I tackle.2
-
Me: Baby, I'll do anything you want.
She: I want to exit Vim. Please hel......*me interrupting in between*
Me: Except that, bitch.1 -
Waiting in line for a CT scan of my wisdom teeth, I have to remove it.
Me and @hardfault in this bitch together.
Sigh.10 -
remember android devs....
The difference between <view> and <View> is enough to make you kill yourself.
and even more if you have used <view> as a divider in your fucking recycler view.
Son of the mother fucking bitch i spend last 2 hrs trying to understand where my age old ,rock-solid , tried and tested code fucked up...
And when i saw the asshole bitch view, i was like wtf am i doing with my life? ;"""( -
Windows updates is a huge bitch.
Gotta do some tests on a code, it's already past 5 pm, bit in a rush. But windows updates said no.
Huge fuck you!3 -
The TRUSTe / TrustArc cookiewall is a bitch! My ass it takes over a minute to update my cookie policy... 😡
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Svelte daily reminder because no matter how much I bitch about new things I too cannot keep my eye off shiny:
https://svelte.dev/blog/...1 -
Yea we programmers sometimes bitch about errors and bugs but let's be honest that is what keeps this "specie" alive. 😄
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DOM manipulation in React apps such as
div.style.bottom = '20px;'
is a bitch to optimize.
Anyone got any tips?10 -
It's my fucking chonky cat's (call him Cody, Chonko or fat bitch) birthday today so wish him happy birthday and send gifts 🐱🐱🐱5
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online surveillance? bitch, given how often you post on instagram, if I wanna know where you've been and what you were up to, I'll just check your stories.1
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I'm probably gonna end up with carpal tunnel by 20. Gonna be a bitch trying to pursue development, which I've been aiming for since 11. Fml7
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Fuck you Figma, you don't even have dark mode, working with menus is fucking annoying, and your UI sucks. I'm going back to Sketch for now, see you later bitch.1
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SQL Developer imports. Fucking SQL Developer imports!
"insert failed for rows 800-899"
y u no tell which row specifically and why, you goddamn hateful son of a bitch!?!?! -
Machine learning algorithm with 20 threads. Machine is like: "bitch please" (and runs the algo clean until the end)
Increase parameter to 40 threads. NullPointerExceptions. NullPointerExceptions everywhere.4 -
Okay chrome debugger extension in vs code where the fuck is my page. Why the hell cant I see it you hateful son of a bitch.
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For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?
This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.
Btw I still need a name
PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout -
How often do you find yourself submitting to a particular languages whims, despite everything you try to do to make it work the way you want it.3
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me: i dont like this [game/movie/product]
idiots on internet: "iF yOu DoNt LiKe it Then Don'T ..."
bitch i already paid for it5 -
Trying to start working in Webstorm... And you have the audacity to whine that "vim has a steep learning curve" bitch please....1
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I visit the website where every major block has a dashed grid around it. I can move grids, but it doesn’t change anything else. They’re just… there. Victoria Arduino, VP of Deception, sporting her iconic lesbian-esque look. A picture of a white glove, the evidence, with RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH RICH BITCH DIDN’T PAY. “I didn’t sleep, the black sauce almost ruined the evidence, thank GOD I sent it in time”.2
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Son of a fucking dumbass bitch
Aaahhhh i dont know anything
I cant even fucking use my fucking mf brain
Madarchod bhosda h mera dimag
Ma ki chut bc3 -
swear to god i'm going to say it after listening to some silly stupid z bitch go on and on about her bizniz when she's short and white and tiny and an idiot working for someone else...
gonna snarl 'listen you shredded chomo whore, just because I'm not catching herpes from you doesnt mean you can act like a bitch, you want someone to order something, get better merchandise you worthless bitch!'2 -
So half of the Internet is down again.
Jfc Cloudflare, you just gonna let Russia, China, and Skynet fuck with you like that?
Bitch ass. -
Half the time when I’m unwelcomingly exposed to these people when they speak I picture a fat man yelling “oh what would giant boy detective do ??!?!” For including this present bitch
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