A government website that I wanted to try and scrape data from to make a better app, I've actually found to be the pinnacle of a demonstration of what NOT to do...

Containing a JavaScript file that not only had got code copied 3 times (changed the tiniest bit on each) for what environment it's on, but has ALSO got the API keys for all 3 environments, AND the APIs they've made it call from there pass FULL SQL right in the query string...

What. The. Actual. Fuck?!

I was born loving it - from as early as scripting small things on the Commodore 64.

"I want it looking and working exactly the same in IE6, IE7, IE8, IE9, Chrome, Safari and Mobile...."

Oh wait, that happened...

LOL, shopping centre advertisement screen rebooted to CMOS setup...

Fuel pumps going binary?

Never again...:

DELETE FROM objects WHERE id - #####;

😳...fml

Oh man, stands out first in my memory. Was going ok until my original boss got transferred in to another department... The first replacement was one of our HR managers 🤔

The person she then made as similar to a team lead had issues with me when I had just a bit of a different perspective about a problem to solve - I soon found myself in technical support. Go figure...

I'll never forget what one of the directors said to me a little while after they shifted me:

"Not everyone can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." I look back on that heart breaking moment and say with pride: FUCK, YOU.

Wrote some awesome methods in my application which writes products and their variations directly to SQL for a WooCommerce shop, avoiding uploading any images and constant handshakes for thousands of API calls for each product.

Been heavily criticised for it though as bad practice and to just use the API. I say fuck you, it's lightning fast and works well. Sure the API spec could change in a year but these methods will scale well.

Who agrees?

AWS... I love ya, but seriously, what the fuck. Why is it that when I script to write a file to /tmp, you choose some other location...

Where the hell did the file go?!

Conversation with fellow dev this morning:

Him: What are the chances of putting an API for this in to staging?

Me: I'm working on it now.

Him: Good stuff, so if I check this other one, it should go through?

Me: Yes, it should.

Him: I'll test it now, because "should" === "shudder"

Me: "should" == "shudder", but "should" !== "shudder" 😉

Him: Shud up 😆

https://github.com/pomber/...

This looks awesome!

Your move, human...

A train station that finally plays by the rules.

Politely suggested the wife should take the car today to run errands and I'd take public transport to work today.

Hopefully the only regret I'll make today.

Push from staging -> UAT...
Me: 😎👍✔️

Push from staging -> Production...
Me: 🔥🤬😤😡🤔😥🤪...😌✔️

Posted a question on Stack Overflow today for the first time in as long time... Have lost faith, what shit some suggestions people have.

- Clear the cache, check again...🤨
- Your code is wrong, I tested it my way, you need to change.😒

Read the fucking post properly and gauge some level of expertise... I clearly wrote that it WAS working, the bull shit your detailing is completely irrelevant.

Fucking idiots...

This gives me the feels...
https://github.com/felixrieseberg/...

Right, so I know I'm smashing this server right now, but I didn't even know this was possible!

Had a weird but wonderful moment with my boss a little while ago - not being able to completely explain what I wanted to, I actually used the phrase (without thinking) "because... Reasons...". I realised what I just said as he looked at me and laughed, somehow we both just understood and it summed up the conversation.

Too much wrong with this...

Test your template before sending, noobs!

And... Where oh where is the unsubscribe link?!

I've never gotten drunk while coding, but definitely a whiskey always is the finest accompoint to writing some beautiful code 😉

Wife has taken me to IKEA to get her wardrobe she wanted.

I hate IKEA...

She's finally given in and taken my suggestion to leave me at the cafe to code.

Happy now!

One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...

Moved in to new house, finally have myself a room for an office. Started to deck it out and the wife asks if we can find matching chairs, one for her, one for me...

It's more than an office, its supposed to be my man/dev cave!

!dev && !rant

So... We bought a house! First Day, moved in, so exciting.

Just wanted to share 😉

Lol, a date selector for date of birth using mobile doesn't let you select a year, so it put in 0001 by default, and second stage of profile I get an immediate welcome email which days the service is suitable for seniors.

What an insult as both a developer and as a general consumer..

Whatever duration estimate you have on a project, double it. Better in the clients eyes that you finish early than scrambling for time toward the end or finish late.

So this past few days of a mix bag of emotions. Friday's weekly deliverables on our first dry run at launch, I squeeze across the line in an embarrassing finish. Decision to proceed with the live run to be delayed, not going to happen if I've got something to say about it.

Next day, vendor on the house my wife has purchased (our first!!) and says we can move the settlement date ahead 4 weeks! Winning!

Monday, meeting with all stakeholders on the fuck up that was my deliverables I'm responsible for, granted a conditional pass. "Don't worry, I got this."

Tuesday, received the results of a technical challenge I've given one of the developer candidates - he smashed it. Keen to give him the job!

What a week!!

Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.

Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted.

What the actual fuck?!
https://github.com/jezen/...