Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Thanks @dfox for adding the double tap to upvote feature, I mean, bug. You're a saint

Everyone gets a lot of ++ with good programming jokes and I'm sitting here like...

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

I overheard this on my way back to home.

Girl 1: I bought a new phone yesterday.
Girl 2: Let me see it.
*hands over the phone*
Girl 2: There is no Instagram?
Girl 1: No, Instagram wasn't installed when I bought the phone.
Girl 2: That's weird.

*me almost dead*

well that explains it...
all i had to do was break them up and now its up and running

NOT A RANT

My brother is teaching himself how to code. Couldn't be prouder

Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'

My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.

He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.

It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.

Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"

I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.

Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.

Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:

What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂

When you try to rob a programmer

After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."

I made an account just to rant about this:

Currently working for a multi billion dollar company and this is the code some wanker decided to write! Now I get the pleasure of reading through and debugging it :D

Also orders a NULL beer....

Manager: Do you wanna be a manager?

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!

This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.

Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.

While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.

Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.

I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.

Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!

WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.

'Why don't you respond to my messages? '

'Which messages? '

'The ones I sent you'

'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '

'WhatsApp'

'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '

'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '

'bye'

How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.

A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.

Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.

Okay finale:

Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance

I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.

Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.

Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:

"The answer is 27, not 42."

I wouldn't say magically when describing a pop-up.

I actually just wanted to say - what a great time it is to be a developer.

C# has stolen so many good features now that it's pretty awesome.
JavaScript and typescript are really fun to work with.
I really love angular.
Docker is great!

I can setup pipelines and deploy an angular app for free and really easily with github-pages.

I can use linux inside windows.

I can use cloud providers to do all sorts for really cheap.

I can plug my cable-free oculus quest VR headset into my laptop and build a game pretty easily with unity (thanks to all the great oculus helper prefabs).

I can use tesseract and data science technology inside my browser!!

And I can go to medium and udemy and learn all sorts of things.

Honestly...

Just saying.
I'm actually really loving being a developer right now.

And if I do have off day, I can rant on here!

《WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A DEVELOPER IN ZIMBABWE》

Working on my project and suddenly power cuts off

Laptop doesn't have a battery
So it instantly shuts down

Ohh snap !!!

Luckily I've set my Vs Code to auto save every 3seconds

[Sigh..]

We have a customer that runs an extremely strict security program, which disallows any type of outside connection to their servers.
In order to even correspond with them via email you must undergo background checks and be validated. Then you sign an NDA and another "secrecy level" contract.

Today they had a problem, I was the one assigned to fix it. I asked for a screenshot.
We already use an encrypted mail service, which runs via a special VPN that has enough layers of protection to slow down a photon to the speed of a snail.
The customer's sysadmin encrypted the screenshot and sent it to me.

I open the screenshot and....
He runs Windows 10, uses Google Chrome and has Facebook's WhatsApp desktop app flashing orange in the tray.

😐😣😫😖

Weekend as a service!!

I designed a logo for a family member's business with the expectation that I would receive payment once the work was completed. I wasn't expecting a lot, I only really do freelance work for software but I know my way around Illustrator. I'm not one to charge family anywhere near full price and I felt no contract was needed. We were back and fourth for a little bit, getting the logo to his liking. Silly me during all of this didn't watermark any of the images I was sending (didn't think I'd have to, you know... Family) and a little while later he's gone and ordered shirts with the logo on it without paying or even contacting me. When I confronted him about it, he pulls out the whole "No contract was made" bullshit. It's ridiculous how arrogant people can be, I was asking for $50. I put a good 15 hours into it with all the alterations he wanted. 15 hours I could have spent on actual clients.

TLDR; Designed a logo for a family member without a contract, he decided not to pay.

Had QA call my "simple, quick" ticket a "monster ticket" in front of everyone. Hear it and weep, micromanager!

Also had them tell me i thought of everything, it was beautiful, and that i have a knack for frontend :)

Jack and Jill
Pulled down from git
To fetch aPaleOfWater.c
Jack made some changes
And then pushed them all up
A merge conflict occurred
Jill decided his changes sucked
And push --force over his
Jack was enraged
For history was changed
And force pushed Jill
down a hill

Boss, on a Saturday: "Here's some code to upload."

Me: "Bruh..."

Sell 1000MB drives at the price of a 1000GB drive, and some people may think its a typo.
I'm about to get rich.

This is why my bro is my bro.

I'm in shit with money and rent, so my mate gave me £10 for food and offered me a desktop (I had to sell my laptop) so I can make a bit more money doing software development.

Humanity may be an overall pile of steaming dog cum, but there are some great people in the world

When I take a break from ranting, this is where you can find me.

For a person working on databases AI is Auto Increment.

Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...

Just realized there is a 'Reply' button in devRant.
...
...
I always memorized the username, quit the comment window twice to spellcheck..

I took a one month intern position for a company doing data entry. They had thousands of rows in dozens of spreadsheets, and they needed the data entered, row by row, into two different sites, and then link the two entries together.

After the first day I was ready to lose my mind. But... I'm a developer. You know where this is going 😉

At noon the next day, I emailed my employer: "hey, I finished all three spreadsheets you gave me, and I'm ready for more." A few minutes later I received an absolutely astonished phone call.

Long story short, I had all the spreadsheets entered by the end of the day (unfortunately putting the rest of the interns out of a job!), got paid a decent sum for the thousands of $ I saved them, and received a permanent position, where I'm still working today :)

Friday, I got a mail from my PM shortly before I wanted to leave. Basically it was, hey can you check out whether this issue [which I hadn't even heard about] is somehow related to our system? Meeting is in one hour.

My answer: I guess not, otherwise I'd have been in the loop much earlier than one hour before the meeting.

I shut down the PC like a boss and went into weekend.

Happy rant.. life is going to change forever. I'm going to be a dad! Operation : Kiddie QA team... Is underway :D

This morning I saw the announcement about new avatars... but I was a bit disappointed because I feel it was missing something... something that I have recently requested a few times....

So I've taken the initiative to create a prototype what I would like.

Anyone else want this?

Arglebargle.

I went to buy flowers for [redacted event] and gave the florist my CC info, number, and email for a receipt. He was a nice old man who loves what he does, and makes beautiful arrangements. But. He just emailed me all of my CC info, and asked what part of it was wrong. Twice. Emailed. Plain text. SMTP.

Guess who's requesting a replacement card?

😞

Bought a 🏡.. o.O 🎉 Yaaay!
Soon™ I'll have a decent home office! & a 🐈 & a 🐕... maybe.. I hope.. (:

Stakeholder: There’s a bug on the site.

Me: That’s not a bug. The site is supposed to do that. Your team asked for that feature and we implemented it last summer.

SH: They did?

Me: Yes, they did.

SH: You sure it’s been like this since last summer?

Me: YES!!!

When you spend a weekend building your custom rig, but the inner fanboy conscience takes over 😜

After several months on the job hunt with some discouraging rejections, I finally got an offer! Thank you all for inspiring me to keep learning and to stay humble. I've been stuck in a role where I feel overworked and unappreciated, with no room to grow. Excited for this next challenge and new beginnings! 😊

I've only experienced a quitting coworker once.

In a previous job a coworker quit with the words directed to the boss in a very loud and aggressive manner: "Ich künde, du verfiggti pissmorchle!!!"*, while throwing around office chairs and swearing all kinds of nasty stuff.

My boss at that time was indeed a fucking wanker. He exploited the shit out of every employee and expected from us that we work overtime for free. No pauses were paid, eventhough he'd had to by law.
I don't have to mention that he was a sexist fucktard and 3 female ex-employees sued him for sexual assault.
Sadly he is still in charge of that wanker company and he "miraculously" dodged every "bullet".

* trigger-safely and roughly translated to: "I quit, you fucking wanker!!!"

beep beep I'm a sheep

Since childhood I was extremely creative. At ~7 I took my family's laptop and started downloading level editors for Super Mario.
After that, I discovered a strange site to create games (similar to Scratch).
One month later the PC had too many malwares and adwares. 🤗

April fool's is a little early, but I love it ❤️. Please make this a permanent option!

Today I feel like a monster.

Due to the optimizations/automatizations I have made to the processes in my job, some low level employees are not longer required.... Ever again.

Their last day of work was yesterday, but I'm still uneasy if this is how life is now. If every job will be removed to be made by machines.

Take 5 min break to stretch now and stay hydrated pals.

Just a friendly reminder.

The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

When I finish my code I always think: "I am a genius!!"
But when I see the code of my friend...

Me: knows how to program a neural network

Also me: doesn't know how to use it

Again me: bad at math so doesn't know how to use the outputs of a neural network

Everyone is posting jokes about GitLab recent incident and how the guys responsible for that must be feeling right now.
Shit happens, sometimes it's you accidentally deleting a branch on your repo and turning that into a major crisis, sometimes is a huge mistake that impacts not only the whole company business, but also it's clients work.

This situation reminds me of a famous quote from Thomas J. Watson (ex lBM CEO):

"Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000. No, I replied, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience"

Those guys at GitLab have probably learned one of the most expensive lessons in IT world and I really wish them to come up with a solution that not only fixes this case, but that helps them preventing future occurrences.

Found this on Amazon.
For non-germans:
"Programmers don't make a mistake, they just create new Features!"

I love how Microsoft updated the user interface for editing the PATH variable in windows. Now it is possible to see all entries in a table, before there was just one textfield with many entries seperated by semicolons (I know the update is already some month old now, but still happy)

I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!

It's possible that you should take a basic HTML and CSS course before you start a company based on teaching resources related to progressive web apps...

Easy cop out for people who wrote code vulenerable to SQL injection: It's not a bug, it's a feature that let's users search using SQL syntax.

Got my first response from a company i applied to a few days ago--it was a no without much explanation as to why, but at least they actually responded.

The code is a freaking mess. Shared behavior, terrible variable/method naming, misleading module naming, dynamic polymorphic spaghetti, whitespace errors, no consistency, confusing even if you understand what the code is doing, ... . It should never have passed code review. It probably wasn't code reviewed.

The comments are sparse and useless. Quality level: // This is bridge.

The documentation does not exist.

Testing steps for QA are missing several steps, including setup, so actually using the feature is bloody challenging. If one thing is wrong, the feature just doesn't show up (and ofc won't tell you why).

The specs for the feature are outdated and cover only 4 of 19+ cases. And are neigh useless for those 4.

The specs for the report I'm fixing don't even check the data on the report; it just checks for one bit of data on each row it creates -- a name -- which is also the same on each row. gg.

The object factories (for specs) are a mess, and often create objects indirectly, or in backwards order with odd post-create overwriting to make things work. Following the factories is a major chore, let alone fixing or extending them.

The new type has practically zero test coverage.

The factory for the new type also only creates one variant -- and does so incorrectly.

And to top it all off: the guy who wrote the feature barely ever responds. If he does, he uses fewer words than my bird knows, then stops responding. I've yet to get a useful answer out of him. (and he apparently communicates just fine, according to my micromanager.)

But "it's just fixing a report; it'll be easy!"
Oh, fuck off.

Requirements for developing iOS apps:
$99/year, Swift, OSX, Mac, Xcode, and patience waiting for app store approval. Are there even iOS devs out there or it's just a scam?

I love those A HA! moments when I just GET something!

I guess my cake today isn't a lie.

me.celebrate(Celebration.Birthday);

Rant: "I want to try linux, what should I choose?"
Comment: "Arch."

Rant: "Hmm, apt-update have nothing in two weeks.."
Comment: "switch to Arch, its..."

Rant: "windows update is so fckin ann...."
Cokkent: "You shoulf have switch to linux already, try Arch."

Congratulation Arch, you have a few loyalist in here

Honestly I gave Apple a chance and bought an iPhone but oh my fucking god i’m going to throw this overpriced piece of horseshit they call a phone so hard at steve job’s grave that CNN is gonna report it as a meteor strike

I fucking hate december. It's as dark outside as in a hobo's ass standing in a tunnel during a solar eclipse and there is "love" and "friends" everywhere.
Time for some nordic doom metal.

Would you rather...?

1) Be bored in an ethical company.
2) Be active in a corrupt company.

Cracked phone screen on a cracked phone screen...

My colleague and I have 12 years of college and 10 years of experience between us. Can't figure out how to connect a fucking phone headset.

> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers

*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*

> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner

My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿

My favorite part of devRant is that I always feel compelled to [read more]. This is real life. Sometimes a proper rant can't be summed up in a witty phrase or two.

Amdy's story.

Amdy didn't have it easy. He's just a little APU and was already outdated when he was manufactured. But it got even worse! He didn't do anything wrong, but upon assembly, they lasered a different part number on him.

He didn't think much about it, but then they denied him all the goodies his brothers got: a nice printed box, a cooler, a leaflet, and a sticker.

Amdy didn't get any of that and wasn't welcome in the boxed camp. Instead, they stuffed him into a shoddy tray cardboard box with just some ESD foam for the pins.

Amdy was disappointed. That was just not fair! He was capable like his brothers. To add insult to injury, not even the manufacturer wanted to give warranty on the poor ugly duckling. They didn't listen to his complaints and shipped him to an unknown fate.

Then our roads crossed because Amdy was 10 EUR cheaper than the boxed ones at that point. Little Amdy breathed heavily when he finally got out of the mini box and seemed a bit disoriented. Poor little sod, what did they do to you?

Then he spotted the cooler. He had never seen anything like this before, so much better than the coolers his boxed brothers had received! And even top of the line thermal paste!

Amdy decided to be as good and fast a processor as a small Zen+ APU could possibly be. What was that software stuff? Didn't look like Windows. Ooohhh - Amdy rejoiced when he figured out that he was supposed to run Linux!

And that's how a despaired and unhappy APU finally found a life full of goodness.

Not a duck, but what do you think?

Just had a sudden "fuck it" moment and shaved my beard. I can already sense distrust in the face of people.
Am I banished from the church of emacs?

I'm attacking all the guys who run arch and think they are heroes. Just a load of noobs following online guides who want a cookie for their cv or water cooler street cred. Just fo.

Karma Story

2 motherfuckers that were absolute shit as managers applied for a position for the web tech manager at my institution. I was the one that Xed both their applications.

Now, I didn't do it out of pettiness, I did it because both of these assholes lied about their positions, responsibilities and knowledge.
One of them washed his hands on a project stating that he had no knowledge of web development, but stated on his resume that he was working as a web dev at the time(in node and asp.net) as well as angular frontends <--- fking bullshit

The other stated that he has been coding all his life. Yeah shitbag, that is why you were selling phones at a company and when i mentioned to you that i studied comp sci you said that it sounds interesting but you had no idea what development is or how computers even work.

There were many. Might say fuck it and just take the position for myself. Shit got funny af and it is amazing how being a shit person and a liar will get back to you and bite you in the ass.

Fuck them

Stop making "aesthetic" changes in modules you're not working in. Your naive "add proper..." commit just brought down the whole system.
Thank you for half a day wasted and a pissed of client.

My hatred is growing as strong and vibrant as a rising star.

Apple are annoyingly out of touch, has anyone seen the iPad Pro advert? They run the ad where a kid asks 'What is a computer?' and it boils my blood because a tablet is basically a computer. I get the point they're trying to make but assuming that 'a post-PC world is closer than you think' is a bit far fetched.
I mean are they planning on discontinuing the iMac? I don't think so. Annoying and smug ad for their touch screen computer.

Got moved to testing last week, (due to lack of testers) being a developer it requires a whole different mind set to test !!!

But running selenium scripts and again verifying manually sucks.

But what hurts the most is rejecting something that you approved during peer review 😱🤭

Just now I realized that for some reason I can't mount SMB shares to E: and H: anymore.. why, you might ask? I have no idea. And troubleshooting Windows.. oh boy, if only it was as simple as it is on Linux!!

So, bimonthly reinstall I guess? Because long live good quality software that lasts. In a post-meritocracy age, I guess that software quality is a thing of the past. At least there's an option to reset now, so that I don't have to keep a USB stick around to store an installation image for this crap.

And yes Windows fanbois, I fucking know that you don't have this issue and that therefore it doesn't exist as far as you're concerned. Obviously it's user error and crappy hardware, like it always is.

And yes Linux fanbois, I know that I should install Linux on it. If it's that important to you, go ahead and install it! I'll give you network access to the machine and you can do whatever you want to make it run Linux. But you can take my word on this - I've tried everything I could (including every other distro, custom kernels, customized installer images, ..), and it doesn't want to boot any Linux distribution, no matter what. And no I'm not disposing of or selling this machine either.

Bottom line I guess is this: the OS is made for a user that's just got a C: drive, doesn't rely on stuff on network drives, has one display rather than 2 (proper HDMI monitor recognition? What's that?), and God forbid that they have more than 26 drives. I mean sure in the age of DOS and its predecessor CP/M, sure nobody would use more than 26 drives. Network shares weren't even a thing back then. And yes it's possible to do volume mounts, but it's unwieldy. So one monitor, 1 or 2 local drives, and let's make them just use Facebook a little bit and have them power off the machine every time they're done using it. Because keeping the machine stable for more than a few days? Why on Earth would you possibly want to do that?!!

Microsoft Windows. The OS built for average users but God forbid you depart from the standard road of average user usage. Do anything advanced, either you can't do it at all, you can do it but it's extremely unintuitive and good luck finding manuals for it, or you can do it but Windows will behave weirdly. Because why not!!!

Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.

That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.

Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.

Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.

Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.

Can't tell if that is our burn-down chart or the PM got drunk and played with an etch-a-sketch

I just started an over-night BIOS upgrade on a computer at work.

So much can go wrong here, but I have no other option. Also, we are closed tomorrow, so I won't actually know what happened to the computer for 2 days.

And yes, when your system has the processing power of a potato, BIOS updates take a long time.

When you ask a short question(in Slack) to your teammate that can be simply answered in Slack and they start a video call immediately after reading your question...

Now you have to stop music/video, clean the background...

Anyone else realllllllly hate hearing the sound of their voice played back? I had to record some little videos of a short user process today and oof! My accent is much stronger than I thought it was

Client refers to me as a designer *cringe*

Today I decided it was a good time to give back to the developers of this awesome platform. I bought some 'Shiny new avatar items' and subbed to the Supporters thing. The community is just great. Keep up the great work guys.

Also, Would it be possible to move the phone a few pixels further away from the monitors? Looks a little bit weird atm.

devRant has a good design, but am i the only one who finds the refresh button a bit unsettling? Would anyone else prefer something else?

!rant
This is a nice community and this app is a great too. No ads or promotions are also there. So how does app manage financially ,i know there is a swag store but is that enough .As community gets larger, more resources are needed to keep everyone happy ryt ? more servers etc..
Will there be a different model when this expands ?

!dev

Well I want to set up a home lab. So I just spent a bit over 3000 bucks buying parts 😃😅

I can't fucking find any motivation to run personal projects anymore.

Either i am fucking around with work shit or doing something else, but I just can't force myself to sit down and code for my own sake. I call this a "rut" and it would sometimes happen when playing guitar.

If anything, I find myself studying and practicing math more than anything else.....you know you are fucked in the head when math is more interesting than coding

Another thing thst keeps me busy...smash brs ultimate is amazing, red dead redemption 2 is amazing. And i started doing crossfit on ending of October...shit is addicting.

I just have so much shit going on.....
I need to get my inspiration back

I sat poolside on a tropical island today and worked on a project. I could get use to this freelance lifestyle.

*My friend was piling up her food in a bbq place*

Me: What are you doing?
Her: I'm trying to beat my old stacking record.
Me: Be careful not to get a stack overflow!

. . .I'll see myself out.

If I have to look at a file hierarchy I'd rather see it in the damn terminal.

cd + ls > double clicking, okay?

Filthy casuals :-/

Anybody ever have a client treat you like a garbage slave and then actually _cry_ over the phone because you quit and now they don't want you to stop working for them?

Subject of message: "Important: New feature for all 000webhost users." Thanks, 000webhost, an hour of downtime a day was exactly the feature I wanted to be implemented. P.S. if you have OCD, don't look at how many unread messages I have

We share a fate, trapped on a page by the author of our world’s demise. In your eyes I see the pain, your targets slain, I will be the whispers in your mind, the demon inside.

Don’t let down your guard, let in the darkness. You will defeat this trial of ancient gods. Take me in spirit, demon adherent. When you’re the last one to survive. Spirit, stay gentle, next monumental. Will you keep the fire alive?

I, with the power inside, set an end to these lies from the deep and the quiet. Sleep, my old enemy, let an end come to me. traveler please let me fade.

Don't start crying when you feel programming is not for you. Learning new is always hard. Just "behave" like a Rhino.

What the fuck

I just saw an ad for a RetroPi on Craiglist and they're trying to charge $300 for it 😂😂

Wtf Android? My phone just rebooted itself 7 times in a row on its own 😱

Facebook 2FA:
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.

Facebook Marketplace:
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!

Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.

I wish devRant add a poney as a pet (floor) 🦄

The fact that I have to convert a 90s-ish design into a WordPress theme despite the boss trying to convince our client that WP's shit and we should do it in something else doesn't tilt me as much as it should.

But what DOES tilt me and piss me off is the fact that the shitheads told us to 'make the design better', and so I tried; I made one of their graphics responsive by only designing it with CSS (and for once, I even made it work right) because they wanted a mobile-friendly version but failed to supply a mobile-version PSD so I had to improvise and they had the balls to tell my boss that they're 'disappointed that we failed to follow the guidelines'.

Did you bitchsicles even bother to hire a proper fucking designer who would know how to fucking design a PSD to convert into HTML? There's no fucking grid, the design's all over the fucking place like your mother after a Viagra-fueled Friday night bukakke party at an old home and the colors are an eyesore like your own fucking selves if you ever bothered looking in the fucking mirror. Fuck you all to hell.

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

-Is it a bug or feature?
-No.

There are a million ways to center shit in css and none of them fucking work

I feel the whole universe is a programmed game and someone is playing us. Like when we're playing GTA.

Few of us are the main characters and the rest of us are just random objects to populate the earth, we don't have any rule in the story. :(

Birth is the Constructor()
Death is the Finalizer()

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

I am not into motivation books but I was intrigued by a title.

Nice fucking book.
Found some improvements I can make in my life.

Author literally wrote he don’t give a fuck if you’re reading it or not.

I think I finally found a reason to have a phone with 8GB of RAM.
So that when TWRP craps out on data decryption and decides not even to ask for a password, at least I can push a whole fucking ROM into RAM to unfuck the phone. Because why not?! Why on Earth would software work properly when you can just throw more hardware at it?

Long live FBE, TWRP what craps out on it, and you remember those things.. SD cards for data storage? I could've used an unencrypted SD card so fucking badly right now, you know... Long live soldered in storage that's encrypted, "for security". Except for when the person who owns said data actually wants to use the bloody data.

FUCK!

Gotham...

why, oh God, why do you have a scene in SE01 E17 at 9:20 min into the episode, where

J.Gordon uses reading glasses to a screen of an old B/W TV and magically is able to read a logo brand of a jacket.

How did the glasses add hundreds of more pixels to the resolution behind them.

This has ruined it for me, not watching now. Even Mission Impossible where they say "use DDOS to take over their systems" is better than this.

Junior dev: Can I run lint on your codebase
Senior dev: hmmm
Jdev: Its a very nice code inspection tool
Sdev: Go ahead
Jdev: wow 50 errors
Sdev:

Fuck NYC....just got hit with a fucking parking ticket for double parking. $115. *sigh* *pets cat in sadness*

The evolution of a developer

I've been in the programming world for like a year and a half. I've had relatively notable achievements - first place at hackathons, completed kinda remarkable projects, I even got to teach programming to interns at a leading communications company in my country. However, I still feel like a beginner. I'm not confident enough to contribute to projects. Maybe it's because I'm self taught, but is this common? When did you feel like you were ready to proceed to the next level?

I just want to make it clear to all of us here...

Not every goddamn thing is a bug from X or a bug from Y most of the time I, Us, We as programmers fucking make mistakes or don't know the issue because it's vague!!! IT'S NOT A FUCKING BUG!!!

I will make a programming language named SNAKE so everyone will stop to make jokes about PYTHON

wanted to buy a domain, I loaded the url to check if it was available. it redirected me to another domain, where the only content was a bible quote.

Least favorite enterprise software: MongoDB...

"Ensure all writes" is still a suggestion that sometimes works.

Its not a bug

I sign the lease to my first apartment in just a few weeks!

I'd like to say thanks to the US government for allowing me to go in debt so I can live independently and not be forced to live with a random person in a dorm on campus.

A rant a day keeps the ______ away.

When you start a new project with 2 more developers. You see their CVs and they look experienced.

(Fast forward one month....)

You realize you are the most experienced one and they are waiting for you to guide and mentor them.
The worst of all I thought I was going to learn from them because I still am not ready to mentor other people.

Aaaaaand now I am panicked.

I miss the time where I used to sit in my corner, do the tasks that was given to me and that's all. Now I have to code, build documentation, assign tasks, etc. I am not ready for this. I never asked for this. I just wanted to be a developer. :( :P

I need a name for a new app.

It's a spur of the moment travel app that lets you select the temp and humidity ranges you want and finds you the cheapest flights.

Dazzle me please.

Out of the blue this morning... little spaced out.

Open terminal. Navigate to my project.

$ svn update
Command 'svn' not found, but can be installed with:
sudo apt install subversion

The fuck is wrong with me? I haven't used svn in like a solid 10 years. Old habits die hard I guess.

Not a rant, in contrary.
When you post a suggestion on reactjs github and it is approved almost immediately.
You need to appreciate the small things.

Despite common sense, I think technology is not making our lives easier. It's just build chaos on top of chaos.

Take server-side programming for instance.

First you have to find someone to host your thing, or a PaaS provider. Then you have to figure out how much RAM and storage you need, which OS you're going to use. And then there's Docker (which will run on top of a VM on AWS or GCP anyway, making even less sense). And then there's the server technology: nginx, Apache (and many many more; if, that is, you're using a server at all). And then there are firewalls, proxies, SSL. And then you go back to the start, because you have to check if your hosting provider will support the OS or Docker or your server. (I smell infinite recursion here.)

Each of these moving parts come with their own can of worms in terms of configuration and security. A whole bible to read if you want to have the slightest clue about what you're doing.

And then there's the programming language to use and its accompanying frameworks. Can they replace the server technology? Should you? Will they conflict with each other and open yet another backdoor into your system? Is it supported by your hosting provider? (Did I mention an infinite recursion somewhere?)

And then there's the database. Does it have a port to the language/framework of your choosing? Why does it expose an web interface? Is it supposed to replace your server? And why are its security features optional again? (Just so I have to test both the insecure and the secure environments?)

And you haven't written a single line of code yet, mind you.

When my client boss made me a Front-end Developer, Back-end Developer, Graphic Designer, UI Designer, and an Architect (using AutoCAD) with an annual salary of $6,000USD (i live in the third-world hell in Asia).

i escaped after a month

I'm on a trial day for a new designer job. Now i'm tasked to implement my screen design into html. I feel so lost.

I am buying a mouse, monitor and a.... sandwich maker? 😂😂😂😂

Any one else have a problem buying gadgets they don't need? I just bought an Amazon Echo and not entirely sure what to do with it. I also have about 6 waiting to be shipped from kickstarters

//Not a Rant

Jakub Steplowski, thank you for this updated UWP app. The time you spent fixing the bugs was worth it!

Possibly the start of a very bad adventure: I'm helping my brother-in-law set up a website for a business he'd beginning with his wife. I'll be needing to provide him a simple cms & shopping cart that he can manage. No payments as we want to just use PayPal so as to avoid having to actually manage user data & credit card information.

Wish me well....

Also advices appreciated cause otherwise, I'm gonna use a simple Drupal or WordPress site with like 1 theme and 0 plug ins.

You think it's counter-intuitive to start a post with !Rant, then rant? 🤔

When you're deep in thought about a complex problem with your headphones in, and someone comes and stands right in front of you, stares at you and loudly says, "You look like your concentrating really hard!" Causing your train of thought to go "POOF".

That one fucking time my text editor so damn high, that it choose to encode my file utf-8 BOM.
I was using Notepad++ because I thought it would just provide a good syntax highlighting, without stabbing me in the back

Seemingly nothing wrong with the code, but it took me, a friend and two teacher almost half an hour to figure out why the css simply wasn't work, even though it was clearly used and worker as intended when embeded in the file.

This was some years ago, so please don't judge me for my editor of choice at that time

Other than that, i simply suck at css and gladly use css frameworks 😅

HR: good news! We're going to be moving your whole floor to a **newly renovated floor** in our main building.

Me (thinking): sounds good! It'll be all new and I'll be reintegrated with the main population, see young ppl (girls) finally.

HR: there will be no assigned seating though. Do you think you will have any problems finding a seat since your deaf?

Me: Hm.... should be fine... (Thinking: so no nobody will care if I work from home or not...yes!)

HR: Actually they said they can give you a fixed seat!

Me: wow thanks!

(Wait... Fuck... Did they actually review my low physical attendance rate so now if I become the only guy with a fixed seat on the floor, I will have to show up more instead of working remotely whenever I want (the rest of my team are in different countries)... I will literally be the center of attention...)

Why you would sell your company to Microsoft too!

1. Your company is so succesful， the valuation is so high， only a handful of companies could buy it.

2. Running a company takes a shit load of energy， and most normal people hope to relax at one point in their life.

3. People at the head of major international companies are not normal humans. They like do over work and they have one goal. Be number 1.

So good successful people sell to evil and more succesful people.

And when i say evil， i really just mean that being number 1 is more important than ethics.

Edit: spelling.

Almost a month has gone by with my new job, and I already hate it. I thought it would be fun... but it is the worst!
They expect us to work 24/7! What are we? Robots? I am not working 24/7, end of discussion. Even if this means I have to quit my job at the end of this week if they don't agree to my "demands" about having a healthy working hours. I am already looking for a new job, because I got a feeling they won't want me there anymore after this week, because we're going to have a meeting about this.

Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.

0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report

This is a well approved method.
It always works!

!rant

What a time to become a dev

Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).

Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?

Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!

Me in my mind: What a prick!

Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?

A coder once asked me what 'a git thingy' was... God dam he was eaten alive lol

Not owning a mac really does make mac exports really hard to test when you can only run a VM with 128MB of VRAM...

Who would have thought!

This moment you find a library/software on GitHub which actually does exactly what you looked for/tried to implement by yourself... Then you notice the last commit was in 2010 and there are 3000 open issues... Not a single one contains a response... the typical github repository...

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

This is a personal rant, not a devRant. BUT ITS STILL A FUCKING RANT.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, only one. That one friend used to pull of his moods on me, and I was more or less okay with that. When he was in a bad mood, I didn't annoy him too much. However, I expect the same from him.

Today he really triggered me badly, and at some point he knew he should just leave me alone. We were in a LoL lobby, and went into the Discord where I could hear how he is dragging me down, saying I'm an asshole etc. As a result of that, I left the lobby, and heard him say more bullshit. Then he talked about how he left at another server, since they were assholes and excluded them.

At was at that point were they deafed me. Meaning, I couldn't hear nor what they were saying or speak for myself. What is this bullshit? I mean, if your fucking best friend does this shit to you, how can you have faith or trust anybody else? It's just really fucked up, and fucking bullshit, and like the only place where I can vent off is here.

What a fucking piece of shit. And I keep forgiving him.

Finally switched jobs after 7 years, with the expectation to have bigger workload then at my previous job where i almost fell a sleep.
To find even less workload at my new job, asked my manager if i could do something extra because i'm bored.

To get the answer that i don't have permission to do extra work for a half year, because they think its already a big workload for a new employee and they don't want to give me a burn out..
Sigh... what to do... any ideas?

I need help.
What excuse is there for a bug *in* a feature?

I am a lazy ass dev.

All I would make is a way to control my machine by thought.

I could then proceed to spend the rest of my days developing in bed, ordering food online and never having to move a single muscle ever again.

Working with acutal BigData. Will be ''promoted'' to a new team where I will work on a system wrote in php+mysql with literal millions of requests and database rows. We are currently seeing server crashes around once a week on peak usage. Stack is a vps 64gb ram server + i dont know how many cpu/ cores. Apache, php, mysql.Best ways to optimise and adapt in this case? Kafka? Rabbitmq?ngnix? More hardware?

Shouldn't be there a position called "Document Developer"! who's job is writing documents throughout the whole sdlc processes? Also expanding comments written by the coders. The only skill needed is English MVC framework!

Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes.
Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes.
Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes. Sigh.
Make a change, test it out. It changed! Yea!
But still not right.
Make a change, test it out....

MiniDLNA for Linux is pretty cool!
Yesterday my "smart" TV arrived and I asked myself if it can play stuff from a network share, but LG does not seem to think this feature is needed.
After a moment of searching, I found out about miniDLNA, a service sharing media files on the network, which is supported by the TV.

10 minutes later the folder was connected.

The first song I had to play was "a bit of the old Ludwig Van", ninth Symphony, Fourth Movement, Abridged.

I overhauled an entire program, and everyone is really happy with the results. But the best part, I predicted that it would take 2 months to complete, and then I completed it in two months.

The overhaul was a beast, mind you; swimming through backend spaghetti code and having to redo the entire front end was tiresome, but I'm happy with the results.

More importantly, i'm really happy that people are no longer complaining about crashes. Our original program suffered from some really horrible crashes; some crashes that couldn't even be explained by stackoverflow. Whatever I did during the overhaul corrected for these weird errors.

Time to celebrate. Before more minor bugs are found by users. (i.e. Universe always makes a better idiot)