If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. 
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using? 
Patron: A SOUP bowl! 
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up? 
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?! 
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? 
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! 
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? 
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? 
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. 
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00

Being a dev by day and a simracer by night. I made a skin because I wanted to see what devRant would look like on a race car.

Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0

Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.

Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.

Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.

Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!

Naturally, I escalate the issue.

Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.

Day 34

I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.

Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.

Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.

Had this conversation the other day:

Girl: So, what do you do?

Me: I'm a Software Developer.

Girl: So you write 1 and 0 all the day?

Me: Yes!

----
I actually work with C#

One day, someone at Google decided that what their search engine was really missing was a dice rolling tool, complete with text that says 'Rolling...'

Stocks are up 600% since then.

Honestly: I love my job. Every day. I get paid to do what I love to do. And when I get home after sometimes 11 hours of work, I turn on my notebook to do exactly what I did at work - just as a relaxation method.

My little girl is going to be a dev one day!

"What do you mean it won't compile?!"

When i said i'll deliver a feature by end of the day, they thought it after 5. But what i really mean is 11.59pm

"Ugh... what a day, so exhausted from sitting at the computer all day. Can't wait to get home from work and
INSTALL ARCH LINUX FUCK YEAH!!"

My start in new company....

HR: you will get a Macbook from us...

Me: yessss!!!!

~~~

One Day before first Day:

I Picked up the laptop from company...opened the case....
No Macbook, but HP 😂😂😂...🤷‍♀️

~~~

First Day at new company:

PM: you will be using Ps, Sketch....

ME: how will be the licence costs payed?

PM: it is already installed...

ME: wait, what? It's nothing in my Laptop.. Wait what? Sketch?....I haven't recieved a Mac....

PM: What?????🤦‍♀️.....

~~~

Later in the same Day...

My laptop: Fu*k you!!! Your account has been disabled. Contact your system Administrátor...

ME: wtf????? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

.....to be continued....

what a start to the day.

Look what I achieved today in Windows 7. Felt good. Today is a good day....

My client uses a very old hosting company that cannot even support php 5.2. We urge him to switch to IBM softlayer.

My Client: I am afraid that your hosting company(IBM) will close one day.

Me: ... What?

What a beauty to start the day with

What a day and what an achievement!!!

Today ladies and gentlemen I broke my record for number of passive aggressive “as per last email” comments, in a single email.

I now stand at 11

Today is a great day and I’d like to thank everyone not reading my emails who got me to this point. You guys are the real record holders!

While implementing a new feature I got “error in function A”.

I spent one day trying to figure out what was wrong.

At the end I found that someone copy/paste “function A” debug comments in “function B”.

I almost went to jail.

Got stuck on a project for a whole day. Just got out of bed, start my computer, got a cup of coffee and in 5 minutes I found the problem.

Just amazing what a well rested body can do.

What a nice way to begin the day

What my parents would have said back in the day if I told them I was a dev: "You listen to that annoying sound for a living?"

Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.

Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.

What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦‍♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.

There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.

Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬

!!depression

I used to measure my performance in features per day (or week, depending on their scope), or tasks/day or loc/day for huge projects. My usual was two to three small features a day, and some progress on a larger one.

Now I’m so burned out and depressed that i measure my progress in the amount of days per week that aren’t “zeros” — as in days where i get literally nothing done. Now any day where i get _anything_ done, no matter how little, is a “good day.” I partially refactored about fifty lines of json builder spaghetti on Tuesday. That was a great day.

This week I’ve had two zeros, and it’s Thursday morning. I think it’s going to be a three zero week.

Worse: performance reviews were due weeks ago. I still haven’t written mine, and have no idea what i would even write. How can i make myself sound good when i can barely even force myself to eat or take a shower?

My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.

Customer logic - "We'd like a website but we don't know what we want...so can you do a whole thing so we can change 80% of it day after day until we are bored of it? Thanks"

A day before the deadline.
Project manager decides that we are ready to publish the same app with the iPad version too. Without asking dev team.
+Yep, sure. What could go wrong?
I'll keep you posted.

What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?

A client was talking to me all day asking about my "hacking" experience.

I taught he was going to ask for a pen test for his trampoline website. At the end of the day, he revealed he wanted me to hack the "competition's databases" so he can promote his "very unique trampoline accessory".

Guess what happened? Nothing, cause fuck legal trouble!

What I do after a long day/week at work coding...?

More coding! 😀

best friend works at a gym, and he always remind me to exercise.

him: bro when was the last time you workout?
me: every fucking day.
him: what?
me: I am a programmer bro, everyday is brain day.

[04:00 am] Oh, what a day. I need to sleep...
[04:01 am] *Open devrant

People that don't know what you do, think you're just a lazy introvert that sits on the computer all day

>creating Android app
>forgot to save project
>ANR window pops up
>Android Studio stopped working

What a nice day :D

When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?

Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.

"There were a lot of complaints about missing grades" well, yes. That's what happens when you make me grade all 60 submissions every week while I work 10-12 hours a day at my other job, on average.

When you start work on Monday and need half a day to remember what you actually did on Friday.
Someone knows this too ?

Hi Fellas !

I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.

I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!

Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?

Have a great day !

Today on "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Burnt Out Dev".

Project Manager: "What day would prefer to demo your work?"
Me: "Tomorrow or Wednesday"
Project Manager: "Tomorrow is Wednesday"
Me: "O"
Project Manager: "O"
Me: 🤝
Project Manager: 🤝

Anyone else having problems remembering which day of the week it is? 😂😂

I want to share with the DevRant community that after a lot of work; today my first IOS app was accepted and published on the App Store.

What a historic day!

"I keep complaining to you guys every day about this bug and nothing happens!"

Firstly, it ain't a bug. Secondly, you're not complaining, you're whining. Thirdly, complaining is a bloody limited resource. If you do it once a year, everyone's going to sit up and take notice. If you do it daily, it's just "Duncan having another moan", and the only thing anyone will do is play "what time of day will Duncan rant" sweepstakes.

Came to a 8 day trip and didn't bring my laptop... What have I done...

You know, the whole AWS outage being caused by a typo while debugging got me thinking... whoever did that is most probably a developer who had a REALLY bad day. Could that person be on DevRant? Because the story of what the rest of that day and week was like for him or her has the chance to be the most epic rant on here ever. Poor guy/gal.

Started my laptop this morning and seeing this, what a great way to start day. FML

"A developer? What, like a landscape gardener?"

No idea to this day what they meant, but it's always stuck with me!

I realized I've need a hobby other than sitting in front of the computer all day.

What non-developer things do you love to do? :)

So one day I come home from work and my wife meets me with a pack of these little tux-fellows!

Do I have the best wife or what!!!

Thanks again devRant, @dfox and @tragus.
Those stickers are amazing.
Hope to get the stress ball one day too.
Btw @dfox what do you mean with +1’s here? 500 +1's on a single rant for a ball

My productivity hack? Exercise.

It's amazing what a good workout can do after a long day of work. The stress just melts away and i sleep like a baby!! Ready to rock and roll the next day. 😎

> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers

*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*

> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner

My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿

I have a dream, that one day my manager does what getaaron did T_T

Holy shit, what a bitch of a day

I'm starting to have some doubts about carrying around a phone in my pocket all day. What if my tender swedish meatballs get cooked by the radiation? Not good.

!rant

It's a non-working holiday at the office so I'm at home doing nothing. I asked my boyfriend what to do for the whole day then he said "Spend your day to something you really enjoy".

Ah yes!

So I'm building a new project. What an exciting day!

1. Start ur day posting Good morning in #general thread.
2. Say Hello Team in the project group (slack).
3. Have a standup call with the entire team and discuss what everyone would be doing.
4. Evening 6 pm go on another call with the team explaining what you did for the day.
5. Time tracking software should always be on, so we can monitor your keystrokes.
6. Track time on Clickup tasks, as well as move them to appropriate tabs indicating their status.
7. Before u log off, post a detailed report on the group chat about what you did for the day.

Surely, this will increase productivity of the team, right?

*Swiches on the PC and opens VS*
Probably I should get some coffee.
*1 hour later, with 0 LOC written*
I should probably code now. Umm, I need music, else I might not focus on the code.
*another hour passes by headbanging to led zeppelin and still on 0 LOC progress*
You know what, this wont work. I should eat and will code with a fresh mind..
*has lunch*
I'll code now.. Maybe I should check up on devrant...
*time goes by with 0 LOC at the end of the day.*
I'll do it tomorrow.
*Next Day, repeats what I did on the earlier day*

<rant>why the fuck do live demos NEVER work properly when a day ago the code was fine?? What is this bullshit sorcery!?</rant>

So I work as a "Web Development Lead"
Which means I lead (frontend,backend and infrastructure teams)
Also I am in charge of infrastructure or devops or whatever you call it, which means I handle production issues, dev and staging environments,...etc

and I am a team of one, and today I asked for a day off because it's my wife's birthday

and suddenly everyone is blocked, everything is on fire, and the phone is not stopping ringing, I had to go out of the cinema theater to answer the non-stopping calls

I AM ASKING FOR A SINGLE DAY, A FUCKING DAY, EVEN IF SOMEONE IS BLOCKED SO WHAT IT'S NOT EVEN A DAY I ONLY NEED 6 HOURS

IS TO TOO MUCH FUCKING TO ASK

A new day, and a new "specification" written by the most unspecific architect ever. I don't understand what you want me to do. Use your words. Be SPECIFIC. As in SPECIFICation. Twat.

Started with a small rant on the platform to meeting some awesome people.
And now look what I got.
Love from NY to KTM that made my day brighter. 😍😍

Marketing: so we want it to behave like this website, so it'll have to have feature A, B, C and D.

Me: okay that might take a day or two.

Marketing: what? can't you just copy-paste the code from that website?

What makes a developer happy? Inbox Zero achieved on a Friday before a three day weekend!

So when I'm so into what I'm doing that my coffee gets cold before I've taken the first sip... I know it's going to be a good day

What a great feeling to finally have a day off and to be waking up in the city of Amsterdam ❤️

“Good comments explain why, not what,” says Andy Marks. “Do more of the former and none of the latter. A well named method or variable will beat a well-written comment every day.”

It's only day two of wk89 and damn, what a trip down memory lane.

Spent 18 hours debugging and finding a fix for a critical bug, casually told about the fix to a senior programmer and left home. Couldn't go to office the next day and what I see on the day after that is endless mails praising the senior guy for fixing the bug. He stole my fix!

Sometimes I wonder:

Who actually cares?
About what I do
About what I make
About me.

Why put in effort if there is no different result? Why am I always sad? What ruins my day? Is there really hope? Why? So many life questions I want answered. Do I care too much? I definitely think way too much. Why am I so lazy. The questions I have.

Cheers,
To a better day.

Facebook you little piece of shit.
We have a page setup for a band since apparently this is what one does these days. But oh boy is facebook annoying. Can you please stop sending me 100 notifications a day about fking post boosting?! What the fuck. We are students we don't have money for this shit. fk off! <.<

That feeling you get when you write an automation package on top of selenium and python that at a press of a button runs through an entire User Checkout process 😍

Oh the hours this is going to save me.
Now to see what else I can automate in my day to day life.

Do what you enjoy doing and you won't work a single day in your life.

Dumbass client renamed jpeg extension when asked for a png file. Ofcourse Android build system is little more sophisticated than that.
What a shit day!

Note to self:

Don’t use npm, use yarn!
Don’t use npm, use yarn!
Don’t use npm, use yarn!

Don’t use what??👂
Npm! Use yarn!

Well done!! Now repeat this 5 times a day.

When my professor wanted us to make a GUI for a Pig Latin Translator on the first day of Intro to Java and it was due that night. Like I just learned what System.out.println(); does, how do you expect me to do that?

What a nice day to goto the office.

-some exercise after being stuck at home for a week
-no one on the trains even as they run smoothly
-nice "warm" weather and morning
-nice views

I guess I had an EMP attack in my home.In a single day my laptop charger burst,my desktop monitor got damaged and my Lumia phone has stopped opening.Dont know what to do

"Get a job doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life" they said

What they didn't tell us is that it would lead us to babysitting/troubleshooting continuous deployments at 3 am on a Sunday with a black Irish coffee and a manic look on our faces

what happens when you leave the office for more then a day.

What if every hello world application creates a world like Tron and we casually destroy them thousands of times a day.

Recently, my CS teacher proudly bragged about how, to this day, no pupil has ever had WiFi Access to the school network (only teachers have access).

What a naive teacher he is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

There was a time, I couldn't find what made my webpage to appear blank. I stayed 3 more hours at the office to find the problem. Didn't find anything. The next day, I took a fresh look at my code, and guess what. A semicolon hidden in a JSON array.
Damn you semicolon ! I'll get you someday !

What a horrible day absolutely love everyone on here

What a day to wake up to the win10 update asking you to confirm yet again that you don't want to send all your data to them, I guess it's time for O&O ShutUp again..

My son played with Asphalt 9 form 169 hours in a single day.
What enthralling game.

What a piss day

At the end of each day, work out exactly what you need to do next, and then...

...don't do it. Seriously. Make a note of it, save it, then walk away. Then you know *exactly* what you're getting started with the next day, and by the time you've done that you're in the swing of things. (Especially helpful if you're not a morning person like me. Much, much easier to get started if you know exactly what you're doing.)

It's a beautiful autumn day. The sun is out, the sky is blue, it's warm and the trees' leaves are already colored magnificently.

What will I do today? - Exam preparation! :D

That feeling when you about to leave at work and ready for the long holiday, and suddenly there's a 🔥. You need to investigate and fix the issue. What a day!

So, just started my new job (stoked btw). At the last interview - boss: what kind of OS do you work on?
Me: I'm a simple guy who uses windows and notepad++

First day at work - get a brand spankin' new macbook and endure the most unproductive day ever...

oh what a fine young mkfs. thank you my dear, have a nice day yourself.

When you can request for a stress ball, tanks to all for your ++

Day 2 of having to use linux at work and I almost nuked the /etc folder.

what a good start

devRant stickers and pizza, what a day! Thanks @dfox and @trogus, stay awesome :D

- the first time I have to touch a GO codebase
- it's the day GH goes down

come on, what's happening here! First dR, now GH? Tomorrow what - SO's turn?

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

When you rock out a solid day of development. Making what use to be an 8 hour job 30 minutes, and everyone looks at you like you are a wizard. This is how I left the office today...

That NaN is considered a number in JS.

Half a day I spent figuring out what went wrong.

Dog of the day. This golden retriever is what I imagine when I think about "a good boy"

Been drinking like a litre of beer yesterday after a long day of work, came home like at 2.35 AM.

Today's gonna be a long day and I only slept 6h40m and I'm still feeling drunk.

What an awesome way to start working!

Also, making an AR project in unity, doing stuff I dunno how to do

"you got all that done in a day?"

that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it

Not a rant, of course, as life is amazing but...

... Here is a rare, beind the scenes look at what happens on the back end of our office.

Wishing you all a brilliant fucking' day from Bulgaria's Black Sea coast...

Expectations VS. Reality : A new Software Project (After all designs and requirements are clear and fixed.)

EXPECTATIONS:
Day 1: Create workspace, Configure tools
Day 2: Implement high priority Feature
Day 3: Write UT and peer review
Day 4: Push first feature to Prod.

REALITY:
Day 1: Create workspace, Setup configurations
Day 2: Still setting up configurations
Week 1: Almost done setting up configurations
Week 2: New migrations issue, again reconfigure before coding starts
Week 3: Take a vacation
Month 2: Finally things are working but God knows what was the issue...

and the saga continues...

the plans i had for the morning have been cancelled... and now I'm awake for nothing 🤡

what a day

I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.

my CTO is on 2 week vacation, guess what he did on his last day...
installed a camera with a microphone in our office. coincidentally right near the devs...

i'm afraid to talk with my colleagues...

Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..

!rant
I wonder what it feels like to be a programmer in north korea...
1 bug, 1 day gulag?
Just kidding :)
I hope they enjoy stackoverflow & news over TOR.

What a great day! The code doesn't work but who cares, I got my devrant stickers!!!!!

Started my day by running a forkbomb on my own computer to prove to someone what it was 😑Wake me up when it's Saturday.

I'm going to try a 'zero-day' strategy for learning c++ (at first I was also a little confused about the term zero-day).

The name zero-day does make sense in that there are zero days of me not doing x

So, for this strategy, I have to program something (doesn't matter how small) in c++ every day for a month. After that I'll do the same for python

Then I can make an educated decision of what programming language I like the most

I want to thank @teganburns for his c++ video about c++, that's the reason why I chose to try c++ first

When I am asked to do something and the next day same person asks to change what was changed the day before.
For fuck sake do a prototype and fucking change that and not the actual fucking code 😒😒😒

What a bunch of cunts.
It's sad how they keep applying restrictions to everything. Two years ago, there were no restrictions. Now:
Max one website, random account locks if you ever get actual visitors, no support unless you're premium, max 5 simultaneous clients, one hour sleeptime a day, some "random" disk full errors or internal server errors and at least two hours downtime a day.

Fuck off.

Poor internet at offfice. What a sad day today.

How do you explain to your family exactly what a programmer does all day? Like they think our job is no big deal sometimes...

Since a few days I have my first dev job in a small it company. At my first day I directly stared to implement a rest api for managing dns servers.

Today I completed the prototype and all works well. What a feeling :)

My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.

Good thing, right?

The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.

So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.

Timing belt in my VW Passat 99 snapped. What a beautiful day to be alive!

Fucking kill me...

Today my therapist suggested I work towards one day getting back the will and energy to start coding side projects, just for the fun of it.

That was a long, long time since I had the ability to do. Maybe I can get back to feeling that much in control that I can let work go for a day or two each week and just... Have fun coding. What a mind-boggling thought.

> 5 times zoom meeting in a single day.

What a time to be alive

I'm going to replace Designer with Architect.

Every single day: WHAT MONKEY DECIDED TO BUILD THIS SYSTEM THAT WE NOW HAVE TO CONTINUE DEVELOPING?

HOW THE FUCK DID HE THINK TO SCALE BY BUILDING A SYSTEM THAT TYING EVERYTHING TO A SINGLE DB?

me: Today will be a productive code efficient day
also me: what is diz devRant
then me: man this is lit
*fml*

That one day you realize you can be in an abusive relationship with your boss, and he's a sales guy, and gaslighting is what he does PROFESSIONALLY.

What a fuck.. the best way to begin your day?
"We have an assistance session with client for you!". At 9 o'clock

Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.

And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|

What a day... I think I need to reboot

Today I learned that some external devs one of our projects is working with have DB tables where they store references to specific dates, and not only that, but every minute of those dates, and the day of the week, and what season its in. Im not joking.
Hmm should I use the local datetime libs or should I go through a firewall, load balancer and DB cluster just to find out what day it is?

Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.

It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed

Only downside is what to do in free time

A full day discussion with 'non-designers' to decide on a repeatative abstract image that is to be used for background in a website.
A fcking full day..
What the hell!!

And the final selected image was the same that we started with.

Second day at work ✌

Just started a website without drawing the template first. What could possibly go wrong..

So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes

We had to test our client's karaoke app. QA said there was a delay between the singer's video and the user's recorded video.

What a day! Developers singing along, waiting for someone to be in sync...

I just spent a whole day learning wordpress cause it's mandatory for my graduation project and I'm still not quite sure what I'm doing.
I'm proficient with HTML, CSS, Javascript and PHP enough to make the damn thing in less than a day, yet here I am strugling with the damn plugins and themes... It just looks too chaotic for me.

!rant
I was getting headaches from looking at the comp screen all day, but what can you do when it's your job? A friend told me about these glasses you can buy specifically for people at a comp 8+ hrs a day. I gave in and bought a pair, and now, no more headaches! Thank you Gunnar glasses! 👓 😃

Plan my workday a day ahead. And plan it into as small steps as possible.

So that the next day I do not have to think about what to do. And that all steps are so small that I wont have much mental rejection for them.

Using a brute force dictionary algorithm to retrieve every employees password. Access got blocked for a day because they didn't know what my algorithm did, I deleted the main file moments ago. They only saw the curl scripts.

What if sites like Fiverr and Upwork are actually preparing us for when we all have to compete with third world programmers working for a dollar a day? 🤔

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

First day in the office for the year. First thing i do is connect through a vpn while inside a vdi. Fuck me! Since it changed my IP, now i can't access the damn vdi. Can't even restart it! What a way to start the year.

I hate dealing with (business) users... They keep asking why...

You're the fucking ppl that told me this is what u want a year or two ago...

Where can I find a job where its mostly dev and not answering why every day?

I like our daily stand-ups, but our team only does it when our scrum master is present, if he takes a day off, no one cares about it
I think it's healthy for scrum teams to have that every day

What do you guys think? Are you also doing scrum? How bug is your team?

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

So, yesterday I made a post asking for a recommendation on what to give my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day (He is a programmer and starting to learn how to develop video games) I gave him a Wacom, two online courses for Unity in Udemy, and, a portable coffee maker (since he previously complaint about the coffee in his office) What do you guys think? 😎

What started out as a stressful day turned out to be hell. I managed to break sudo... Go me.

When companies don't understand what DevOps is and don't know how to implement it.

I hate when the term DevOps gets slapped onto a traditional Ops or sys admin team and they call it a day.

It's become the new agile.

So I wanted to implement a feature in my app, but was too lazy to implement it myself. So I spent the entire day searching for a library that perfectly does what I want instead 😅. Happens to anyone else?

Is it normal to be frustrated when you can't solve the bug for a day and all you can do is update on what you've tried solutions?
3 months in this company

What do you guys do on low work days? both in terms of
a) Low energy = low work production
b) Low work required of you/slow work day

My mate just pen-testing on running production server using admin credential.
Guess what happen!
And no backup!

What a day!

Project deadline got preponed by 3 weeks. What a lovely day tis is!

This is what I did today in 5 hours and 45 minutes. Documentation and optimized code inside. One method was kinda tricky but I managed to optimize it from 1,88s in the first lazy version to 35ms in the end. Now that's what I call a productive day

Maturity is day dreaming of wanting to work on a big side project, having a whole afternoon where no one is at the office, but still working on what you're supposed to do.

It's also extremely boring.

Oh boy, a bright new day 🌞.

Will this be a productive day with me getting my tasks done like a functioning member of society,

Or will I drown in my own sorrows and want to spend the whole day in bed.

Let's see what happens.

What a great day for hardware failure...

What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!

FUCK THIS.

me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA

Twitter will one day, turn me into a racist I swear.

Idk what it is about this app, It gave me a whiff of what it's like hating a certain group of people (not gonna mention which group).

And the weird thing is, Twitter content isn't anything worse than what I see regularly on 9GAG and Reddit. Not even close.

What sorcery does this app have? I might need to stay tf away from this app wtf.

I heard this at work the other day from a collegue running out of patience with a client
"Well, so what they may have to scroll, but thats life"

An internal error occurred during: "Initializing Java Tooling".
java.lang.NullPointerException
-.-"

What if there was like a 1-2 day workshop that helped recruiters be more technically fluent? Like the basics of software development (not programming, but concepts and what engineers really do)?

What could make a programmers day worse?

Trying to find a bug, WITHOUT AN ERROR MESSAGE!

fuck QlikView.

When the best event of the day is a business phonecall and you are a developer.

Customer actually gets what we do, is excited about it and is willing to put in some effort.

Really not in the mood for work.

But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔

My family STILL doesn't know what I do to this day. I graduated 3 years ago and have been in the industry since. They think I'm a designer. 🙄 No, mom and dad. I CODE. 😂

(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."

(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data."

what a day :'C

Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?

For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.

what a terrible fucking day

One more day left until I'm on vacation... for a week.

What could possibly go wrong?

I really want 2017 to be a great year...
One thing I do is have a movie marathon ... Last few years I did the Hobbit movies ...

I can't think what to do to start of this year 🤔

I'm already building this site ... For new year's day but I dunno what to watch to get me in the spirit , any suggestions ?

Today me :
It’s 9 am, let’s work a bit, open the terminal, type vim.

What a mistake.

It’s 7 pm, still don’t do anything yet, just browsing some cool stuff on vim, vimawesome.com

Today was a good day.

I remember the day when I was in first year college. We were tasked to make a c++ program that will print a diamond pattern. Didn't know that you could achieve that with for loops.
What I did?
A hard coded one.
What I got?
An F

Time spend with coding: 2 hours
Time spend with branching, merging, fixing merge mistakes and check if systemnis building again: 4 hours

What a miserable day...

Day 3 as the Junior Dev.
Co worker fucks every time on defining functions in python

What my asshole teammate does is:

def someShitFunc():
print(shit)

And he was clearly instruct to return value not print the value what a jerk he is.

I have to fix his all problems and in meeting he brags how his code worked. What a sucker.

This more of a tifu but to be short and concise..

4 months into the job, still learning the hang of docker, exposed a critical port that collided with a node, crashed our entire internal docker ecosystem. What a day...

So.... my colleague just used `var` for assigning every variable in Flutter.

What a wonderful day....

New "senior" mobile developer started the other day, doesn't know what core data is or the best way to implement a network call. I'll just leave that there to sink in for a second.

I finally got one of these boards, I still need to figure what to track on it, I already have a planner with me for my day to day

any suggestions?

What a great day at AWS Summit!
Now I can build all the guestbooks / pet-stores I ever wanted!
#basic.

With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...

But WHAT?!?!

Finding out that the Project Manager and Test Manager are actually in a relationship then spending the rest of the day trying to work out what you said to each of them in confidence

Terrible project with unclear requirement, lots of legacy and a client that doesn't know what he wants. Quite a bit of procrastination because of this situation, then crunch day & night to hold the deadline.

Then the project was scrapped.

What a sad day for emulation tbh.
But yuzu had it coming, considering the practices they employed 🤷

They also have to pay a 2.4Mio fine.

What does a job as a Software Developer Feels like ?
( I was wondering what tasks are exactly needed to be done when you're finally employed as a Software Developer proficient in one or more programming languages. )

Have a Nice day ;)

What do you mean you sent a fucking mail about it? Theres a reason we have case systems with case fucking numbers. Its so that we can keep track of different customers, which is crucial for day to day operations. You retarded fucking fuck.

New job had me working on a Mac.. great! Let's give this a shot and see what the fuss is about.

One year later and I can now knowledgeably say that macOS is balls slow, the worst Unix I've used day to day, Debian/Ubuntu 4 lyf.

Question of the day:
What to do when listing fees on exchanges too high?

Answer:
Unicorn;)

And a happy new year (delayed though :p)!

So this happened a while ago, me and my friends designed a website for our college and upon the day of releasing it you realize what assholes people can be when you receive messages like this doesn’t open in uc browser🤦🏻‍♂️

So after programming in the Vue framework, I have developed a habit of Ctrl + S for anytime I would usually use Enter. I just typed in setting in the search bar and press Ctrl + S.

What are your habits you took up from programming and just cannot shake it down in day to day life.

Made a little change to the project.
Went out to grab coffee.
Project broke.
Forgot what change was made.
2 hours spent tracking down the change.

People ask me why I work 12 hours a day. Here's why.

Day 11 of devWholesome...

I think it is very important today to express how much we care about others. Today I want you to do something nice for a friend or family member and tell them how much you care about them. You realize how important the ones around us are and what they mean to you. Tell me what you did today that fulfills that goal in the comments. And as always, make the most out of your day!

Now, I didn't even really know Employee Appreciation Day was a thing until an article appeared on the company intranet about it coming up.

From Wikipedia:
"It is a day for companies to thank their employees for their hard work and effort throughout the year. This day was created for the purpose of strengthening the bond between employer and employee."

I thought, "Oh, cool. I wonder what they're doing for it."

You know what they did?

They encouraged us to use the internal eCard system to send each other notes of appreciation. "Let's break a record," they said. "Most eCards sent in one day!"

And that's it. That's how my employer showed their appreciation for me.

I feel so... appreciated?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

P.S. Yes, we broke the record.

P.P.S. No, I didn't get any eCards.

I f*cking hate "ticket creep". I feel like half my worktime (as a tech lead) is spent just to contain what people ask for or report in a ticket. "No, you fool, this ticket isn't about that, file a different one!" is what i'm most likely to be thinking during any work day.