Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?

For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.

The three biggest ones I can think of are how your team schedules stuff, how the team’s development pipeline works, and where the documentation is.

Nope.
I was given a laptop, given an email and git access. Then expected to figure out things on my my own.

@magicMirror Similar experience at my last three roles, including current.

Reflecting back, I think I’ve had maybe one genuinely informative and helpful developer onboarding experience.

The rest have been “Got all your HR stuff done? Cool. Jira is here, slack is there, standup’s at 11.”

@magicMirror same here, except I didn't even have a laptop for the first month or so because someone on the onboarding team quit while provisioning my laptop and left it on his desk, where it sat for a month.

Schedule, product pipeline and payment methods.

email, slack, repository url and ticket with issue to solve - it’s no longer kindergarten but real life with pissed off people around lol

After being hired as Lead Engineer / Engineering Manager:

"Actually, we don't have a team for you to lead at the moment. We'll create it sometime in the future."

More than once.

Amazing nobody gets proper onboarding

@fullstackchris thats the biggest take-away of this thread.

@ComputerToucher wow thats short.

Almost as short as the introduction to combat that veterans would give fresh recruits in vietnam.

@fullstackchris @Wisecrack
I now make sure new devs get an onboarding, help setting up thier dev envs, and do some peer programming sessions with them.

Working from scratch, and then trying to explain why that Thing works is not hard. Trying to figure out a Thing alone, can be very annouying.

@magicMirror doing the work of five others I see.

Almost feels like onboarding is a lost art.