So there is this girl who was trying to be cute and wrote a mock C code for me :

She wrote :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("what else??");

And without hesitating I told her that her code had a fault in it and it would always print "kill self" no matter what the level of disappointment is. And asked her to fix it.
The way she fixed it was probably best described as the situation when you have no idea what you are doing and you don't try to understand either. (or was simply passive aggressive) :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("kill self");

Honestly though I hope she was being passive aggressive because boy do I pity people who confuse between '=' and '=='

I prefer silent kills.

× open Jira ticket classified as a BUG REPORT
× Title: "Mike"
× Description: "Mike is working with us"
× assign it to Mike

× reopen it every time it's closed

Be more passive

I always get involved in everything, at every company. Not to further my career through ass-kissing and overperforming.

I regularly piss off people. When C-level has a discussion about strategy, I'm usually ahead of them, ask too many questions, criticize every detail they've missed, cause frustration by making them look incompetent.

Can't help it, when I see retards destroy a great product I have to intervene.

Some people appreciate it. I often defend both devs and end users, when others don't dare speak up.

But fuck it, I'm getting older. I'm gonna coast a bit more. Sit back, relax.

If a product manager doesn't prepare enough tasks — that's cool, I still have a Factorio savegame to work on.

If another team designs an incredibly stupid feature — they'll discover the issues eventually by themselves. Maybe I'll warn once, just to be nice.

*Pours another chocolate milk*

Also gonna spend at least 4h/d with my daughter. She's a better human than most of my coworkers, and the work we do using her Legos is honestly more important for humanity than the Jira backlog.

I have coronavirus. Went to ER because I couldn't breathe Sunday night. Thought I was fucked. I decide to try to work a couple hours today because I'm getting restless. I'm an associate and have been on a project about a month. No prior software job.

Anyway. They ask me to clone a repo and run some tests. Cool, I can do that. They give me another example to look at to make sure I'm running the test right. Except the test files aren't attached to the email nor is the path to them provided.

I ping the other associate developer on Skype and ask for the test files and get a passive aggressive response that they're in the email. No, they're not you fuck stick, hence why I'm fucking asking you, and given that I almost fucking died a couple days ago, you should be fucking grateful I even logged on. Motherfucker.

Ok I feel better now.

Look... I know I'm just a newbie. I started a year ago as a junior. Sure. No one wants to do code review, so I got chosen to do it. People don't like it when their code gets criticised. And you know what? I get it, I should probably be a bit nicer with my comments. I should not suggest I'll make a fork and split internal library into two streams if things continue this way. I should not ask questions that can be understood as me being passive-aggressive.

But holy fucking shit, you're a senior developer. Don't treat Java as a fucking scripting language. Don't have a method that has 600 lines of code, because you're repeating the code! You've already copy pasted this shit, and modified it slightly. Like, couldn't you have created some architecture around the code? How can a senior dev copy-paste code?

Oh and why the fuck did you create a new utility class for functionality I already provide? Look, I admit, yours is a lot better, ok? It has extra functionality. But why the fuck didn't you enhance my utility class? Why did you create a new one? Did you just not want to touch my code, or did you not see it right below your newly created class?

Am I the only one who fucking cares about maintainable code in this company? When I got hired, I was in tears by how frustrating a lot of the things were. No documentation anywhere, not even fucking comments. No processes in place. Want to do something? Source code is your documentation. Fuck you! I busted my ass of to force everyone to document every little bullshit, to re-factor their MRs that I reviewed, and I won't let even a senior fucking dev pollute the code base!

Fuuuuuck... Me...

What a day and what an achievement!!!

Today ladies and gentlemen I broke my record for number of passive aggressive “as per last email” comments, in a single email.

I now stand at 11

Today is a great day and I’d like to thank everyone not reading my emails who got me to this point. You guys are the real record holders!

Root encounters HR at her new job.

So, I left my job a few weeks ago. I was pretty sad about it, so I didn't want to write anything about it. It was a great place to work, with great managers, decent coworkers, and interesting work. I also had free reign over how I built things, what to improve, etc. Within about four months, I authored over half of the total commits on their backend repo, added a testing suite with 90% coverage, significantly improved the security (more accurately: added security), etc. but I got a job offer that allowed me to work remotely, and make well over six figures (usd). I couldn't turn it down, even though I wanted to. So, I left. I'm still genuinely sad about that. I had emotions and everything. 🙁 I stayed on long enough to finish the last of the features for their new product launch, and make sure everything was stable. I'm welcome back whenever, though they don't want to have remote employees, and I want to move, so. that's probably not going to happen. sigh.

Anyway, I started my new job this week. Rented an office (read: professional closet) and everything! It's been veritable mountains of HR paperwork so far. That's all I've done besides some accounts setup. I've seriously only worked on and completed one ticket so far in two and a half days, and I still have six documents/contracts to sign! (and benefits; that'll probably take my weekend.)

But getting an I9 thing notarized? Apparently I only have three days before I'm legally unemployable by them or something, idk. HR made it sound ridiculously dire and important, and reminded me like five or more times. I figured it was just some notary service; that takes like 10 minutes, right? So I put it off until my second day so I didn't have to disappear in the middle of my first day. Anyway, I called a bunch of notary services on day 2, and apparently only like 5% of them both do notary services this time of year and aren't booked full. And of those, probably another 5% will notarize I9 documents.. No idea why it's rare, but whatever, I'm not a notary.

The HR lady assured me that I didn't need any special documents; I should just go there, present my IDs, and the notary will provide or draft documents for everything else. Totally doesn't sound right, but fine; I'm not a notary nor will I ever work in HR, so I'm not very knowledgeable about this. So, against my better judgement I decided to just go anyway. I called around and finally found a place that wasn't closed, busy, or refusing, and drove over there. Waited. Waited. Waited. Notary lady was super slow in every single action. (I should mention that it's now 10am, and I have a meeting with the Senior VP of Engineering [a stern, stubborn old goat who enjoys making people feel inadequate] at 12:30pm.) The notary lady looks like she's an npc updating in slow motion (maybe at 0.25x speed?) and can't seem to understand what I need. Eventually, she tells me exactly what I had assumed: if there's no document, she can't notarize said document, and she doesn't have an I9 for the company I'm trying to work for. (like, duh.) So I thank her for proving the flow of time is variable, which she ignores in slow motion, and drive back home. It's now about 11.

I message the same HR lady, and the useless wench gawks in surprise and says she's never heard of that ridiculous request before. It took prodding to get her to respond every time, but after some (very slow) back and forth, she says she wants to call the notary personally and ask what they need. I waited around for another response that never came, and eventually just drove to the notary place again to have them notarize the required ID documents. That plus my chat history with HR should be enough to show that I bloody well tried, and HR just shit the bed instead. I finally got them notarized at like 12:10, and totally broke the speed limit the entire way to the office, found the last remaining parking spot, and made it to my office just in time for the meeting. seriously, less than two minutes to spare. Meeting was interesting (mostly about security), but totally made me facepalm, shout "Seriously!? What the hell are you thinking!?" and make slapping motions at some of the people talking. I will probably rant about that next.

But anyway, I'm willing to bet that the useless wench won't get back to me before the notary closes, if at all, and will somehow try to blame it completely on me if I bring it up again. Passive aggressive bitch. She's probably thinking: "If I don't help her with these mandatory legal processes, it'll be her fault she didn't get them done in time. I mean, they're so easy! She's just doing it wrong." I fucking hate HR.

I have this little hobby project going on for a while now, and I thought it's worth sharing. Now at first blush this might seem like just another screenshot with neofetch.. but this thing has quite the story to tell. This laptop is no less than 17 years old.

So, a Compaq nx7010, a business laptop from 2004. It has had plenty of software and hardware mods alike. Let's start with the software.

It's running run-off-the-mill Debian 9, with a custom kernel. The reason why it's running that version of Debian is because of bugs in the network driver (ipw2200) in Debian 10, causing it to disconnect after a day or so. Less of an issue in Debian 9, and seemingly fixed by upgrading the kernel to a custom one. And the kernel is actually one of the things where you can save heaps of space when you do it yourself. The kernel package itself is 8.4MB for this one. The headers are 7.4MB. The stock kernels on the other hand (4.19 at downstream revisions 9, 10 and 13) took up a whole GB of space combined. That is how much I've been able to remove, even from headless systems. The stock kernels are incredibly bloated for what they are.

Other than that, most of the data storage is done through NFS over WiFi, which is actually faster than what is inside this laptop (a CF card which I will get to later).

Now let's talk hardware. And at age 17, you can imagine that it has seen quite a bit of maintenance there. The easiest mod is probably the flash mod. These old laptops use IDE for storage rather than SATA. Now the nice thing about IDE is that it actually lives on to this very day, in CF cards. The pinout is exactly the same. So you can use passive IDE-CF adapters and plug in a CF card. Easy!

The next thing I want to talk about is the battery. And um.. why that one is a bad idea to mod. Finding replacements for such old hardware.. good luck with that. So your other option is something called recelling, where you disassemble the battery and, well, replace the cells. The problem is that those battery packs are built like tanks and the disassembly will likely result in a broken battery housing (which you'll still need). Also the controllers inside those battery packs are either too smart or too stupid to play nicely with new cells. On that laptop at least, the new cells still had a perceived capacity of the old ones, while obviously the voltage on the cells themselves didn't change at all. The laptop thought the batteries were done for, despite still being chock full of juice. Then I tried to recalibrate them in the BIOS and fried the battery controller. Do not try to recell the battery, unless you have a spare already. The controllers and battery housings are complete and utter dogshit.

Next up is the display backlight. Originally this laptop used to use a CCFL backlight, which is a tiny tube that is driven at around 2000 volts. To its controller go either 7, 6, 4 or 3 wires, which are all related and I will get to. Signs of it dying are redshift, and eventually it going out until you close the lid and open it up again. The reason for it is that the voltage required to keep that CCFL "excited" rises over time, beyond what the controller can do.

So, 7-pin configuration is 2x VCC (12V), 2x enable (on or off), 1x adjust (analog brightness), and 2x ground. 6-pin gets rid of 1 enable line. Those are the configurations you'll find in CCFL. Then came LED lighting which required much less power to run. So the 4-pin configuration gets rid of a VCC and a ground line. And finally you have the 3-pin configuration which gets rid of the adjust line, and you can just short it to the enable line.

There are some other mods but I'm running out of characters. Why am I telling you all this? The reason is that this laptop doesn't feel any different to use than the ThinkPad x220 and IdeaPad Y700 I have on my desk (with 6c12t, 32G of RAM, ~1TB of SSDs and 2TB HDDs). A hefty setup compared to a very dated one, yet they feel the same. It can do web browsing, I can chat on Telegram with it, and I can do programming on it. So, if you're looking for a hobby project, maybe some kind of restrictions on your hardware to spark that creativity that makes code better, I can highly recommend it. I think I'm almost done with this project, and it was heaps of fun :D

I was working as a contractor for a client who just got enough funding to hire a full-time dev. I lovingly referred to him as "Mr. Koolaid" because he was obsessed with whatever the newest hotness was and cried constantly about how the 3-year-old code-base didn't use The Next Big Thing(tm). This was my first interaction with him:

Mr. Koolaid: I'd like access to the github repository. My username is xxxx.

Me: We currently aren't hosting the code on github. If you send me your public ssh key, I'll get you access to the private server.

Mr. Koolaid: I'd like to access the github repository.

Me: It's not on github; send me your public key and I'll get you access.

Mr. Koolaid: Can we skype real quick? You don't need my public key to grant me access to the github repo.

*Mr. Koolaid proceeds to forward me github's documentation on adding users to an organization and the documentation for adding users to a private repo. The email is written in a very passive-aggressive tone.*

ಠ_ಠ

For a week+ I've been listening to a senior dev ("Bob") continually make fun of another not-quite-a-senior dev ("Tom") over a performance bug in his code. "If he did it right the first time...", "Tom refuses to write tests...that's his problem", "I would have wrote the code correctly ..." all kinds of passive-aggressive put downs. Bob then brags how without him helping Tom, the application would have been a failure (really building himself up).
Bob is out of town and Tom asked me a question about logging performance data in his code. I look and see Bob has done nothing..nothing at all to help Tom. Tom wrote his own JSON and XML parser (data is coming from two different sources) and all kinds of IO stream plumbing code.
I use Visual Studio's feature create classes from JSON/XML, used the XML Serialzier and Newtonsoft.Json to handling the conversion plumbing.
With several hundred of lines gone (down to one line each for the XML/JSON-> object), I wrote unit tests around the business transaction, integration test for the service and database access. Maybe couple of hours worth of work.
I'm 100% sure Bob knew Tom was going in a bad direction (maybe even pushing him that direction), just to swoop in and "save the day" in front of Tom's manager at some future point in time.

This morning's standup ..
Boss: "You're helping Tom since Bob is on vacation? What are you helping with?"
Me: "I refactored the JSON and XML data access, wrote initial unit and integration tests. Tom will have to verify, but I believe any performance problem will now be isolated to the database integration. The problem Bob was talking about on Monday is gone. I thought spending time helping Tom was better than making fun of him."
<couple seconds of silence>
Boss:"Yea...want to let you know, I really, really appreciate that."

Bob, put people first, everyone wins.

Hahahaha, great start of Monday, discovering angry passive/aggresive comments from previous devs.. xD

// what is this? ever heard of CSS?
// css is for pussies, real men hardcode

// jQuery mixed with Ext. Awesome

When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂

Make enough passive income to quit my job, live in the mountains and develop something i like without feeling guilty for not using the time to work on money yielding projects instead.

A few years ago, we had a developer who would come in early and leave by four almost every day. I can't remember how exactly it started, but we would put up a picture of a different dragon on his cube wall almost every night.

He was a pretty laid back/passive guy, so we took bets on how many pictures there would be on his walls before he took one down.

3 dragon figurines on his cube walls and 11 full color pages later, we had a winner.

Just a friendly reminder that when you hear one or more of the following:
- underrepresented
- identity politics
- *phobia
- toxic *ity
- cis* (though "cisco" is fine)
- diversity
- culture appropriation
- passive-aggressive
- patriarchy
...and other bullshit, feel free to not talk to that person ever again. You'll miss nothing. Always remember that their goal is not equality but power to oppress whoever have a different worldview.

If you fear twitter backlash, fear not. Political shit comes and goes, but the inherent value of what you do is here to stay and means something at all times.

To anyone who wants to judge me because of this — remember, what you have read above comes from a bipolar transgender bisexual rape victim.

A friend sent me this in the morning:

“By convention, type names such as String or Int (or Dog or Cat) start with a capital letter; variable names start with a small letter. Do not violate this convention. If you do, your code might still compile and run just fine, but I will personally send agents to your house to remove your kneecaps in the dead of night.”

Excerpt From: Matt Neuburg. “iOS 10 Programming Fundamentals with Swift.” iBooks.

Rather than singling out one person, I wanna present what I see as incompetent/stupid/ignorant:
- no will to learn
- failure to follow the very specific instructions & later asking for help when they FUBR sth & not even knowing what they did to fuck up in the first place
- asking how to solve stuff, then ignoring the suggestions & doing sth totally against recommendations
- failure to remember most basic stuff, especially if not writing it down to look at later when needed
- failure to check logs & 'google' stuff before asking why something isn't working the way they want it
- after two weeks, asking me how feature xy works, mind you they coded it, not me
- asking me why they did something in a specific way - WTF, am I a mind reader?! Who designed that crap?! Me or you?!!
- being passive/aggressive & snarky when told to do something or being asked why isn't it done already
- not testing their shit properly
- not making backups when upgrading (production) servers
- not checking the input value, no validation.. even after many many debacles on production with null ref exceptions
- failure to admit they fucked up
- not learning from (their) mistakes

I just realized why you should never help people with tech problems, at least for free.

I went to grab the rent from a family that lives in my grandma's childhood home.

The father asks me if I could have a look at their new internet connection because it doesn't open any pages on the browser.

After fiddling for about an hour and a half trying every trick in the book and gently explaining to his children how everything is supposed to work (kids need to learn how these machines work imho) I ask him to give me his service provider number and confirmed that indeed the problem was that the connection wasn't activated on their side. Installed chrome, set the date,/time because it wouldn't sync and told them twice how to get past the certificate problem should some page not open. Smiles all around, all is well.

Fast forward next to next morning and I get a call from the guy telling me his internet doesn't work because he pulled out the power cable for whatever reason. I instruct him to restart the router just to be sure and then ask him what's on the screen. Turns out it was the certificate problem. I try as best I can explaining and reminding him how to get past but he doesn't understand. He goes on asking me to "come over for 5minutes and have a look at it". I politely tell him that just the trip is half an hour and that I am currently in the middle of exams to finish university. His tone becomes increasingly passive aggressive as I tell him again that it's isn't possible for me to make the time for a one hour round trip at the moment. Hangs up with a grim "right right whatever you say."

First time I was genuinely angry at a person being both so ungrateful after helping them and not even trying to fix something after I took the time to explain it to them.

Are you a complete passive aggressive twat?

Are you 100% completely unable to stand up for yourself outside of the safety that a computer screen provides?

Are you a male and capable of only doing things that would take you in the absolute complete opposite direction of a vagina?

Are you a female and an insufferable twat?

Do you think that people's likes and dislikes are no better than yours?

Is your opinion better than anyone else's?

THEN BEING A DEVELOPER AND BEING IN DEVRANT IS JJJJJJJJUST WHAT YOU NEED!

Here in our community, the more full of shit that you are! the farther you will go up in popularity! Insufferable opinionated and biased assholes that could not throw a punch if their lives depended on it is LITERALLY WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!!

lmao, I swear man, some of y'all are just too full of shit.

A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:

Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.

Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.

Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.

Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director

Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.

Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)

Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.

Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.

Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.

Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.

Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.

Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)

Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.

Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.

They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.

I am patiently waiting till someone makes me close my laptop or tell me some bullshit like 'stop hacking' inside ships/trains/planes

I am passive aggressive and willing to put up a fight :smileyface:

After months and months of slaving away, I quit my start-up job and feel completely amazing- here's what happened:

Met a classmate in grad school and he talked about starting his own company and he had full funding and etc. After graduation, moved to the new city where the job was located.

There were all these promises of us being co-workers and working on cool things and many other promises made. Soon after starting the job, most of these promises we're just smoke and mirrors.

Started working day in day out. Worked from 8am-9pm most days and worked on weekends too. Treated me like a I was a dog, talked down to me, gave unrealistic deadlines, pressured me with attitude and threats of losing my job. Hell, they thought they were the smartest person to touch the earth basically- example being that they mixed jQuery with VueJS in our Django template.....who the F*** does that. Another thing being that they had issues with me soft deleting records since they wanted them completely hard deleted and we had gotten into a giant argument about that fml.

What led to me leaving the job was that I had gotten sick one of the weeks, and I still showed up to work. Each day I was gradually getting sicker and sicker. Still tried my best to get work done. Saturday morning I get the most passive aggressive and bitchy text from my co-worker. "if you don't complete blah blah blah by Monday, we are going to have issues. Then on Monday you will work on blah blah blah". They blew the fuse with me. They would always punish me for being sick or taking a vacation. I'm not a dog, not a machine, I'm a f****** person. Went into his office when the work week started and gave my resignation on the spot and felt like it was the best decision I've ever made.

Now I just feel like a giant toxic cloud has disappeared from my life. I did walk away with so much experience and knowledge but now I just feel extremely burnt out from programming. Is this what I even wanna do anymore?

Few lessons I learned along the way:
1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
2. Free lunches aren't worth it
3. Unlimited PTO doesn't really mean unlimited- there's always stipulations
4. Start-up life isnt as cool as they say- don't take TV portrayals as the real thing
5. Your mental health is extremely important
6. It's okay to admit to yourself that you're burnt out
7. Take a break
8. STARTUPS ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE

This is just my experience and what I learned, so telling my story. Phew, feels so good to get that off my chest

Worst guy I ever worked with was a Bulgarian Web dev that had been flown over to work on a few projects to make deadlines run smoother.

He would get offended if I was ever in another meeting without him and send passive aggressive emails then refuse to contribute.

He would storm off if anyone ever criticised his slow work ethic

He went on other team members desktops without permission, under one instance running a command line ddos that the IPS logged straight away and got that person a stern meeting. The Bulgarian guy said he was using it to "learn".

He would take a camera into restricted areas, take pictures and then argue as to why he couldn't do that when security would stop him.

I squashed a bee on his arm out of reflex, he screamed at me that I'm stupid causing a room of over 500 employees to go silent and stare.

Moral of the story, fk that guy

There needs a garbage collector in real life, for those who pass in front of you, walk in front of you, and light up a cigarette to smoke it while you're behind them.

"Yeah, but isn't it worse than those entering the tram after having smoked?"

Here's a better question: where's natural selection when you need it?

Background: I work at a small startup company in Canada who makes simple FAQ Chatbots for companies who waste a lot of resources on the same Customer questions over and over.

So we were making this one bot for a provincial government who wanted a bot for students to be able to ask questions regarding the upcoming election and how to vote, etc. and get the answers they were looking for. Since it's Canada and a government bot, it had to be in both English AND French.

These bots take some time to train (we use Wit.ai mostly) in english so it was a challenge to train it in French. However I am bilingual (not very strong in French but can manage) so I did my best and the bot didn't turn out too bad. (English was great, French was, Id say, "not terrible").

HOWEVER, now that it is done (The company loved it, even with the less than perfect french version). The sales team (who know nothing of the process of making/training these bots) is now telling companies we support "SEVERAL LANGUAGES" and are currently about to sign a contract with a company overseas that wants a bot done IN JAPANESE!!.

To make matters worse.. when we (the dev team) brought up that it would be EXTREMELY difficult to do this, their answer was ... "You did it in French so you can just do the same but in Japanese"

HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Oh well, Rosetta Stone here I come, I guess it's time to learn Japanese.

Whenever someone gets rejected for a dev job and the recruiter/HR person says "Our team just feels you are a bit too junior for the position at this time".. what they're actually saying is "We, as a company, are just not willing to invest any time or resources into training or helping you grow professionally."

Computers being passive aggressive since the beginning of time...

Last week my company thought it would be a great idea to introduce a new sh*tty internal web portal that gives federated access to aws (instead of using our own accounts to assume dev roles like we used to do).

This broke a lot of sh*t that simply used to ask for an MFA token and used our practically permissionless accounts to assume a proper dev role. An MFA token that we'd enter directly into the terminal/tool. It was very seamless. But nooooooo we now have to go a webpage, login with sso (which also requires mfa), click "generate credentials," copy-paste those into terminal/creds file and _then_ continue our aws cli call. Every. Single. Day.

BUT TODAY I HAD ENOUGH.

I spent the entire day rewriting the auth part of our tools so they would basically read the cookie that's set by the web portal, and use it to call the internal api that generates the credentials, and just automatically save those. Now all we need to do is log into the portal, then return to the tool and voilà, the tool's also got access! Sure, it's not as passive as just entering an MFA token directly, but it's as passive as it gets. Still annoyed by this sh*tty and unnecessary portal, but I learned a thing or two about cookies.

At a certain client, was asked to help them with an "intermediary" solution to stopgap a license renewal on their HR recruiting system.

This is something I was very familiar with, so no big. Did some requirements gathering, told them we could knock it out in 6 weeks.

We start the project, no problems, everything is fine until about 2.5 weeks in. At this point, someone demands that we engage with the testing team early. It grates a little as this client had the typical Indian outsourcing mega-corp pointey-clickey shit show "testing" (automation? Did you mean '10 additional testers?') you get at companies who put business people in charge of technology, but I couldn't really argue with it.

So we're progressing along and the project manager decides now is a great time to bugger the fuck off to India for 3 months, so she's totally gone. This is the point it goes off the rails. Without a PM to control the scope, the "lead tester," we'll call her Shrilldesi, proceeds to sit in a room and start trying to control the design of the system. Rather than testing anything in the specification, she just looked at the existing full HRIS recruiting system they were using and starts submitting bugs for missing features. The fuckwit serfs they'd assigned from HR to oversee this process just allowed it to happen totally losing focus on the fact this was an interim solution to hold them over for 6 months and avoid a contract renewal.

I get real passive aggressive at this point and refuse to deliver anything outside the original scope. We negotiate and end up with about 150% scope bloat and a now untenable timeline that we delivered about 2 weeks late, but in the end that absolute whore made my life a living hell for the duration of the project. She then got the recognition at the project release for her "excellent work," no mention of the people who actually did the work.

Tl;Dr people suck and if you value your sanity, you'll avoid companies that say things like, "we're not in the technology business" as an excuse to have shitty, ignorant staff.

TL;DR age != competence

My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.

Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...

But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...

I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...

I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck

He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...

He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...

I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...

We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:

Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?

Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.

( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)

Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.

Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!

Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
Suit yourself.

Describe your stress level in one sentence.

I'll kick it off:

"If he sends me one more passive aggressive email, or moronic statement, I will hit him with my chair until he stops moving"

I WAS relaxed, now I am not.

What’s up with with passive-aggressiveness?

You app!

Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.

Thank you

So, a few weeks ago I asked you guys what would you do if you were to quit your current job. I attempted a start-up with an old "friend" of mine.

He was very enthusiastic and hardworking at the beginning. However he received a job offer from somewhere and told me that he would work there just until we found the company officially and then quit and work full time on the project.

Well... I put around 300 hours into the project and developed the system, did most of my part according to the plan but the guy didn't deliver anything.

Turned out he had another secret partner whom he first introduced me as his mentor. I had my suspicions and suddenly shut down API servers, project management domain and mail server. Suddenly the quiet guy called me asking if I was alright and everything was fine.

Then, nothing happened. He went radio silence until I called him last night and he picked up the phone drunk and mumbled something like "I'm aware of you being a victim" then went to "you're passive aggresive" or something like that and I said nothing, just hung up.

I think you can figure out what went down on the other side and I'd like to hear your scenarios.

PS: now I have another start-up idea: I'm gonna pick up a flamethrower and burn the world while laughing histerically. Anyone who'd like to join is welcome.

So I just received this second DSP5005 DC-DC programmable power supply. Time to make an enclosure for the thing!! 3 power supplies totaling at around 1kW, and 2 variables connected to the 50V 10A one, through external banana wires (I want all of this to be modular). No biggie, take measurements for the AC-DC supplies, add in the variables on the front, and cut it out.

So, I went and did just that. Now my 500W (50V 10A) supply is a bit larger than the others, and it's got a fan. So I figured, well then probably my 24V 8.3A (200W) and 12V 15A (180W) supplies could use some cooling as well. But how am I going to achieve passive cooling without a spacing between the supplies?! So I thought of some spacer design. It had to be out of wood, and I had some 4mm MDF and some IKEA parts around. So, 4mm MDF for the plate and 8mm wood spacers from IKEA for the spacing. And some super glue to hold it all together.

Weighing my power supplies against a 1l bottle of milk, it seems like my power supplies are ~500g. Great, so the top spacer would take 500g and the bottom one 1kg + the weight of the top spacer.

I ended up building one plate with 6 spacers in it yesterday, until I got too tired. Then I placed my entire weight against it, 20kg at least. It didn't budge. Pretty good for something that's only designed to withstand a 1kg load!!

So, I made something good with only a 10x18cm piece of MDF, some garbage from IKEA, and most importantly a bit of a brain. Something that can handle 20x its designed load no problem. Manufacturers, is it really right to produce shit when I can beat your manufacturing processes big time without an assembly line?!

Is this just a subtle misunderstanding, or is my Google assistant getting passive aggressive?

Teacher to student: convert this active voice into passive voice: “I made a mistake”.
Student: “I was made by mistake”

My biggest goal as a developer is to build a few services which provide enough passive income that I can spend more time with my family.

Windows 10 had one groundbreaking UI innovation, but no one adopted it and even Windows 11 discareded this revolutionary idea:

BUTTONS NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND AT THE EDGE OF A BOX DON"T NEED AN ADDITIONAL MARGIN

Windows 10 was the first and last OS where I never accidentally clicked right next to the X on a window, in a passive area that had no other purpose so it might as well have belonged to that motherfucking button.

I passionately hate this trend, adopted nowadays by every OS, that everything needs to be rounded, separated from the things around it, and "allowed to breathe". They don't breathe. They're not alive. They're fucking UI elements and the space between them is unused, lost space.

The only interaction a button has with its surroundings is that it pushes other content away to make room for itself and responds to the cursor. It doesn't wiggle, it doesn't grow and shrink, and it ESPECIALLY doesn't fucking breathe. Please, just let me click the motherfucking button.

Relatedly, do you know of a good, preferably bluish dark GTK theme that provides window decorations that stretch the full height of the titlebar and are laid out next to each other at the very end of the bar without gaps?

IT is so violent and disturbing when it comes to technical terms in relation to clusters:

- master / slave
- master / master / witness (crime scene?)
- splitbrain (how does that look in reality?)
- stonith (shoot the other node in the head)
- deadtime (no heartbeat)
- slicing (wtf?)
- shard (do they kill with that?)
- active / passive (sex scene?)
- single point of failure (at least they know who is to blame)
- share nothing / shared all (dictators vs communism)

😯

We don't need no vim
We don't need no C++
We don't need no Internet
We don't need no devRant
We don't need Java
We don't need Windoze
We don't need spaces for indentation
We don't need School

*passive aggressive smiley*

In the before time (late 90s) I worked for a company that worked for a company that worked for a company that provided software engineering services for NRC regulatory compliance. Fallout radius simulation, security access and checks, operational reporting, that sort of thing. Given that, I spent a lot of time around/at/in nuclear reactors.

One day, we're working on this system that uses RFID (before it was cool) and various physical sensors to do a few things, one of which is to determine if people exist at the intersection of hazardous particles, gasses, etc.

This also happens to be a system which, at that moment, is reporting hazardous conditions and people at the top of the outer containment shell. We know this is probably a red herring or faulty sensor because no one is present in the system vs the access logs and cameras, but we have to check anyways. A few building engineers climb the ladders up there and find that nothing is really visibly wrong and we have an all clear. They did not however know how to check the sensor.

Enter me, the only person from our firm on site that day. So in the next few minutes I am also in a monkey suit (bc protocol), climbing a 150 foot ladder that leads to another 150 foot ladder, all 110lbs of me + a 30lb diag "laptop" slung over my shoulder by a strap. At the top, I walk about a quarter of the way out, open the casing on the sensor module and find that someone had hooked up the line feed, but not the activity connection wire so it was sending a false signal. I open the diag laptop, plug it into the unit, write a simple firmware extension to intermediate the condition, flash, reload. I verify the error has cleared and an appropriate message was sent to the diagnostic system over the radio, run through an error test cycle, radio again, close it up. Once I returned to the ground, sweating my ass off, I also send a not at all passive aggressive email letting the boss know that the next shift will need to push the update to the other 600 air-gapped, unidirectional sensors around the facility.

Slack culture.

Yes, the chat application.

Fuck it, fuck mattermost, HipChat, Skype, and whatever other digital text medium for team communication.

These are great applications, but used for great evil. They feed cliques and passive aggressive "side" conversations. Every team I've been on has something like this, and it allows people to cultivate hate for one another even though they're sitting in the same room.

Texting allows you to complain about a coworker to your clique. Each clique can have it's own thread. This empowers people to silently rip into other team members. It prevents rational adult conversations and builds stupid little secret societies.

passive aggressive commit messages truly have become a speciality of mine

FFUUUuucccckkk me sideways. So I decided to look into USB type-c's power delivery and alt modes. Cause I kinda want to make an adapter card to run my displays over a single cable. TLDR of the rest: USB-C has some huge capabilities which noone is interested in using since its way to complex to handle for what its worth in the end.
Now PD alone is kinda ok to deal with since a lot of powerbanks use it and some hobby guys documented how to work with it. I find it really odd thou that you NEED to use a dedicated IC for using the configuration chanel to negotiate how much power you can draw. Why the USB standard didnt use some simple 5V low speed signalling? Also the standard says that you only have to implement 5v 0.6A with every other power level being optional. (This is also true for cables. Most manufacturers use only the USB 2.0 standard for them and brag about how fast type-C is. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) )
Now to the alt modes. These motherfuckers are a real shitshow to deal with. First you need a Mux to deal with USB-C's two way insertion, so your signals wont get flipped. Next thing is that you have four lanes at your disposal in alt mode. Which you can either use for four Display Port Lanes or two DP lanes and two USB 3.0 lanes. (You always get USB 2.0) Now you may think that there would be one simple chip to do it all? Nope you need atleast two at the price of 6$ each. One for PD and one for Alt modes. Both are very hard to solder (QFN, 0.5 mm pitch 40+ pins) TI ended up being the only one with a decent offering of IC's that do what I need. As for working with them, you would think that you just slap a simple MCU on there that communicates over I2C or SPI to configure the chips? Nope! You program the chips memory from which it configures itsself. And the programming is done with some TI tool which gives me no idea as to how you can handle everything whith no control logic behind it.
Looking into alternative IC's leaves me with cypress semi. And their documentation is basically a total mess. I wanna know what that chip is good for and what I need to do to make it work. I dont care about technical details mixed with marketing jargon nobody understands. And I really despise that I have to register just to download a datasheet. Especially since there is no info about it on the main page.
And this whole rant hasnt even touched the topic that USB-C only uses DP and nothing else. So you better hope that you have DP++ so you can use a passive conversion.
This was my Ted Talk about USB-C. Some info in it may be subject to my stupidity and errors as it currently is 02:15 in the morning and I need some sleep.

Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.

But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.

Slack is scared as hell about Microsoft Teams that is targeted to enterprise customers.

Did you hear about the full page newspapar ad they did?... Passive aggressive move by slack

Booked an Uber...
ETA: 10 minutes...
*Checks 4 minutes later*
ETA: 12 minutes...
*Calls the driver to confirm pick up*
*waits for another 4 minutes*
ETA: 8 minutes
*Types in this rant with passive aggression*
ETA: 10 minutes...

So, I've waited 10 minutes after an initial ETA of 10 minutes and now I gotta wait 10 minutes extra.

Arggghhhhhh!

I'm not sure who the fuck is at fault here?
The devs? The ones who design the flow? The ones handling the execution at low levels?
Or us, the customers who keep on coming back to their services succumbed to the fact that we don't have many options!

Update: I've had to wait for half an hour till my cab could reach me.
HALF AN HOUR = Practically the time it would have taken me to walk to the cab!

I was reading a discussion between recruiters in LinkedIn, they were talking about wether or not it was a good idea to contact a candidate on Facebook when he/she is not responding emails or LinkedIn messages. Most of them agreed it's OK to Facebook stalk a person if that's what it takes to reach the candidate. I don't know what to think: maybe they're really serious about their job and I should admire them, or perhaps being a passive-agressive stalker is part of the recruiter's psychological profile and I should be scared.

For our office secret Santa one year I drew the boss's name. I don't know him very well as he's a pretty unsociable person, for the first six months of my employment was introduced to clients as the web developer's "little buddy." So I really wanted to do something passive agressive.

I spent a few days trying to find the best prank gifts. I landed on a glitter bomb. I filled a balloon with glitter, puffed just enough air in it so it fit in the box, and rigged it up with an x-acto blade inside which would pop the balloon when you open the top flaps.

It worked fantastically. The balloon popped, glitter went everywhere, the entire office was laughing except the boss. It was days before the glitter started to dissipate from his beard.

Haven't coded for a few days, returned to my github project to find one of my co-workers has gone through every single line in all of the scripts and added passive-agrresivd, sarcastic, comments about what they do.

Thanks.... I guess....

I am on another internship, so I'm back here.
Thanks for the passive ++ (the last year?) ya'll.

passive income from some dumb shit

Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.

You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.

!dev

I'm so goddamm fucking tired of this fucking shitty ed sheeran fucking.

Fuck ed sheeran, fuck this bland predictible squared music.

I mean, not him, the music.

Jesus fucking christ, every fucking uber I take this shit ass song is playing.

I heard this song like 50 times already, I'm not even fucking kidding.

This is the musical equivalent of being a passive smoker.

What would you do if you had a passive income high enough that you could live off of it?

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

So we are completely burned out with this project that had a fucking generic contract and my boss never had the balls (and never will) to say no to the client's endless requests and changes...

We are about to deliver it once and for all and they complain about one thing that I have already agreed to my boss that we would not do...
We tell the client that it is the case...

They email everyone involved in the project with a high level of drama on it...

I ask my boss, who is on vacation, on directions as to "how" I should tell them the fuck off...

My boss answer: I'm making a script to solve this issue and to avoid further trouble with it...

Ooo you stupid motherfucker! Can't you see you only bring more trouble with that attitude?

Something I've noticed over my many jobs. "Professional" means entirely different things at different jobs, and doesn't follow fields either. That is, "Professional" in one field is understandably different from another, but businesses inside the same field also have different definitions of it.

It's almost as if "Professional" is just a euphemism for saying "we expect you to act a certain way, but are being passive aggressive about it so we can't be called out for it".

Your guide to passive-aggressive false apologies:

- I’m sorry you’re so sensitive
- I’m sorry that you think I did something wrong
- I’m sorry if you’re mad
- I’m sorry that you made me do it
- I’m sorry you feel that way

And, my most favorite:

- I’m sorry that you’re making such a big deal out of this.

caution: just some dude sharing a random story.

started my own small business around half a year now. a month earlier from that my cousin also started his career as a self employed dev with his own small business and we work together.

next year we we will start a company together, where we merge our existing small businesses into one. we are developing software on our own and we design and implement software for our customers.

seems like we are doing something right because we are reaching our capacities almost all of the time.

we plan to hire apprentices (hope it's the right word) and to teach them all we know to be able to then increase our possible workload.

you know, I do not have a degree or some form of education in the field of IT. And here in germany it was almost impossible to land a job as a dev. needed my cousin who studied cs to get me my first position in that field - and even with his reputation it was not easy.

this shit will not happen on my watch. If I see someone with fire for development I will give them a chance, irrespective of their background. And I will be more than happy to let that person grow and to give every kind of support I can.

we also plan to have something like "if the employee has a good idea for software that sells, we will support it and share revenue". got to figure out the details on that one, but I want to give the employee the possibility to grow some passive income out of their normal job - because for me this was never an option. and I think that this will motivate in some way 😅

just wanted to get this out of my head 😣

Passive aggressive taunts from office folks for not working on a holiday

Passive aggressive deed of the day: Whenever i am replying to a mail with no subject, i start with "sorry i missed your mail as it went to my spam folder, maybe because it didnt have a subject".

So, I am currently seeking opportunities at other companies. I randomly got a call on Thursday around 12pm from an unknown number and I was not able to take that call as I was in a meeting. Later on, after looking up that number on Truecaller, I found out that it’s a recruiter from a US-based firm that I had applied to earlier. I immediately tried to call that person again but she was not able to talk as she was in another meeting. I tried texting the recruiter asking for her availability but she didn’t respond. I called again and this time she got annoyed at me, saying that she will call me back if needed. Now, on the weekend I again tried to message her, asking when she is free for a conversation, she is acting high and mighty, saying that she will call me when we (the company) have interviews again (hinting that I have missed the opportunity and it’s my fault). Her passive-aggressive attitude seems to be coming because I didn’t take her earlier call— I did not deliberately avoid her call, I was in another meeting. I was not given any intimation that she is going to call me— let alone on a weekday at 12pm. My current company expects a high-level of professionalism and I intend to show the same level of professionalism in any future companies that I work with. This kind of dehumanization (mainly due to a power imbalance in top-down heirarchical structure) is why big companies have hard time retaining workers these days. And this company was not Google/Apple or anything remotely in the same league. So I seemed to have dodged a bullet there.

Recently i had a small talk with someone working in the banking sector . When that person acknowledged what i do for a living , she started to be a little bit passive-agressive .
Her:"You know someday , sooner than later , a guy like you is going to create something like artificial intelligence to replace all the devs in the world . Ha ha ha ! And your golden age is going to end . "
Me:"So you think this guy is going to create a smart program , software or platform , that will create software from what ? "
Her:" We will write the specs directly in the program and we will get the software after !"
Me:"And what if the specs are impossible, from logical point of view. "
Her:" Well there will be some rules and you will need to respect them !"
Me: "And people need to learn the logic of these rules?"
Her: " Yes a little bit of training!"
Me:" We already have that !"
Her: " We have ?! "
Me: " Is called .... CODING !"
Her: **silence **
(I remembered the burn from a comic -- forgot the name-- but GOD it felt good !)
Why some people hate us ?

When I was in college OOP was emerging. A lot of the professors were against teaching it as the core. Some younger professors were adamant about it, and also Java fanatics. So after the bell rang, they'd sometimes teach people that wanted to learn it. I stayed after and the professor said that object oriented programming treated things like reality.

My first thought to this was hold up, modeling reality is hard and complicated, why would you want to add that to your programming that's utter madness.

Then he started with a ball example and how some balls in reality are blue, and they can have a bounce action we can express with a method.

My first thought was that this seems a very niche example. It has very little to do with any problems I have yet solved and I felt thinking about it this way would complicate my programs rather than make them simpler.

I looked around the at remnants of my classmates and saw several sitting forward, their eyes lit up and I felt like I was in a cult meeting where the head is trying to make everyone enamored of their personality. Except he wasn't selling himself, he was selling an idea.

I patiently waited it out, wanting there to be something of value in the after the bell lesson. Something I could use to better my own programming ability. It never came.

This same professor would tell us all to read and buy gang of four it would change our lives. It was an expensive hard cover book with a ribbon attached for a bookmark. It was made to look important. I didn't have much money in college but I gave it a shot I bought the book. I remember wrinkling my nose often, reading at it. Feeling like I was still being sold something. But where was the proof. It was all an argument from authority and I didn't think the argument was very good.

I left college thinking the whole thing was silly and would surely go away with time. And then it grew, and grew. It started to be impossible to avoid it. So I'd just use it when I had to and that became more and more often.

I began to doubt myself. Perhaps I was wrong, surely all these people using and loving this paradigm could not be wrong. I took on a 3 year project to dive deep into OOP later in my career. I was already intimately aware of OOP having to have done so much of it. But I caught up on all the latest ideas and practiced them for a the first year. I thought if OOP is so good I should be able to be more productive in years 2 and 3.

It was the most miserable I had ever been as a programmer. Everything took forever to do. There was boilerplate code everywhere. You didn't so much solve problems as stuff abstract ideas that had nothing to do with the problem everywhere and THEN code the actual part of the code that does a task. Even though I was working with an interpreted language they had added a need to compile, for dependency injection. What's next taking the benefit of dynamic typing and forcing typing into it? Oh I see they managed to do that too. At this point why not just use C or C++. It's going to do everything you wanted if you add compiling and typing and do it way faster at run time.

I talked to the client extensively about everything. We both agreed the project was untenable. We moved everything over another 3 years. His business is doing better than ever before now by several metrics. And I can be productive again. My self doubt was over. OOP is a complicated mess that drags down the software industry, little better than snake oil and full of empty promises. Unfortunately it is all some people know.

Now there is a functional movement, a data oriented movement, and things are looking a little brighter. However, no one seems to care for procedural. Functional and procedural are not that different. Functional just tries to put more constraints on the developer. Data oriented is also a lot more sensible, and again pretty close to procedural a lot of the time. It's just odd to me this need to separate from procedural at all. Procedural was very honest. If you're a bad programmer you make bad code. If you're a good programmer you make good code. It seems a lot of this was meant to enforce bad programmers to make good code. I'll tell you what I think though. I think that has never worked. It's just hidden it away in some abstraction and made identifying it harder. Much like the code methodologies themselves do to the code.

Now I'm left with a choice, keep my own business going to work on what I love, shift gears and do what I hate for more money, or pivot careers entirely. I decided after all this to go into data science because what you all are doing to the software industry sickens me. And that's my story. It's one that makes a lot of people defensive or even passive aggressive, to those people I say, try more things. At least then you can be less defensive about your opinion.

So management posted an article "10 signs you suck at your job" in the lunch room. It's pretty passive-aggressive; I wish I could find the link to it somewhere to post here.

Would you post the similar article "10 signs you're not management material" in there as well?

50% of my passive anger comes from shitty matchmaking algorithms in online games.

There was a team meeting where something controversial was being discussed. A team mate was sharing their screen showing the controversial prototype. Meanwhile, me and another team mate started texting parallely on Teams. After a while, people were just listening to each other arguing and doing their own thing. And the guy who was arguing at that moment was being very sarcastic and passive aggressive and it was hilarious. I texted my teammate some inside joke about the the team mate. I heard the Teams notification go off and it was not mine. Oh yeah, I texted the teammate whose screen was being shared 🙇

Do any other junior devs get secret joy when the architects and senior devs argue out on open?

There are a couple of them to list! But to sum my main ones(biggest personal heroes):

John McCarthy, one of the founding fathers of Artificial Intelligence and accredited with coining such term(sometimes before 1960 if memory serves right), a mathematical prodigy, the man based the original model of the Lisp programming language in lambda calculus. Many modern concepts that we have in programming where implemented in one way or another from his systems back in the day, and as a data analyst and ML nut.....well I am a big fan.

Herb Sutter: C++ programmer extraordinaire. I appreciate him more for his lectures and published articles than anything else. Incredibly smart and down to earth and manages to make C++ less intimidating while still approaching it with respect.

Rich Hickey: The mastermind behind Clojure, the Lisp dialect for the JVM. Rich is really talented and his lectures behind his motivations and reasons behind everything he does with Clojure are fascinating to see.

Ryan Dahl: Awww shit y'all know how it is. The man changed web development both in the backend and the frontend for good. The concept of people writing their own servers to run their pages was not new, but the Node JS runtime environment made it more widely available to people by means of a simple to use language that was already popular with web developers. I would venture to say that Ryan's amazing contributions to JS made the language better, as it stands, the language continues to evolve and new features that make it overall better keep being added. He is currently building Deno, which would be a runtime environment for TypeScript, in Rust.

Anders Hejlsberg: This dude was everywhere man....the original author of Turbo Pascal and the lead of Delphi back in the day. These RAD tools paved the way for what would be a revolution in the computing world. The dude is also the lead architect and designer of the C# programming language as well as TypeScript.
This fucker is everywhere and I love it.

Yukihiro "Matz" Matsumoto: Matsumoto san is the creator of the Ruby programming language. Not only am I a die hard fan of Ruby, but of the core philosophies that the man keeps as the core of his language design: Make the developer happy, principle of least surprise. Also I follow: minswan which is a term made by the Ruby community that states Mats is nice so we are nice. <---- because being cool to others is better than being a passive aggressive cunt.

Steve Wozniak: I feel as if the man does not get enough recognition...the man designed the Apple || computer which (regardless of how much most of y'all bitch and whine) paved the way for modern micro computers. Dude is also accredited with designing one of the first programmable universal remotes(which momma said was shitty) but he did none the less.

Alan Kay: Developed Smalltalk and the original OOP way of doing things. Smalltalk as a concept is really fucking interesting. If you guys ever get the chance, play with Pharo, which is a modern Smalltalk. The thing is really interesting and the overall idea of Smalltalk can be grasped in very little time. It sucks because the software scales beautifully in terms of project building, the idea of hoisting a program as its own runtime environment and ide by preserving state through images is just mind blowing to me. Makes file based programs feel....well....quaint.

Those are some of the biggest dudes for me. I know that the list is large, but I wanted to give credit to the people that inspired me the most. Honorary mention goes to other language creators and engineers of course, but it would be way too large to list!

I have this coworker who praises himself or being vegan an caring a lot about the world and his health, but smokes and drinks quite a lot. He also is very friendly with everyone but then he privately complains about them with me and goes back to be friendly.

I could ignored this behavior until it started affecting me. Now he is just passive aggressive with everyone, including me. The kind of guy who sends a slightly bitter comment with a wink at the end almost everyday. The kind of guy who will talk to you non-stop like he is your best friend and next morning don't even look at you. The one who will try to teach you some lesson whenever you say something publicly (which he did tons of times and ended up fucking up because he had no idea what he was talking about).

I feel like ignoring him from now on no matter what he says, because he is only waiting for the perfect opportunity to make you feel like a not caring human being so he can keep standing out and controlling everyone. Yes, if you ever try to organize something, he will make sure to criticize you.

So... that's it.

procrastinating by getting drunk since 11:00 AM, and writing specs for my (hypothetical) language/os/platform.

feeling righteous retribution because the client made me be stressed for 3 hours due to an issue that THEY caused but for 3 hours the only info I had was "there's a critical blocker issue and we're convinced YOU caused it"

well... no... i did NOT cause the fact that you UPGRADED PHP DURING THE WEEKEND BEFORE MONDAY'S PRESENTATION TO CLIENT (while waiting for an urgent commit from me).

seriously.

also, germans. i've heard many times from other people that they're... basically racist towards us (slavic nations), thinking of us as untermensch, coal-miner peons, but I didn't realize their passive-aggressive covertly smug demanding attitude is due to this, I just assumed it's a reaction to me being incompetent.

so yesterday when we finished the call (in preparation for which I tried to switch to their "client demonstration" branch since that's where the error was, and I wanted a headstart on fixing it, ended up in a place that my today's whole-day task should be "rebuilding the DB into working condition", because there's about 10 "core" sql scripts in two different folders, which need to be run (in a very specific order, of course, which readme tells you, but what it tells you has been outdated at least for 3 months, of course), and

...THE MAIN CORE SCRIPT THAT IS THE FIRST TO RUN, THAT CREATES THE DB schema, HAS THREE SYNTAX-LEVEL typos which fail it mid-way...

...the joys of continuous deployment via scripts, I guess? I would love to challenge any person from them to screenshare to me, manual deployment of the current version from zero, and I would be willing to give the person 20% of my monthly salary if they would be able to do it within 20 minutes.

but... well...
the point is, i should be doing not entirely bullshit stuff.
but yesterday's 6 hours of being in "at full attention because it seems we fucked up" totally convinced me, that today I'm taking a break.

So I'm gonna go buy another 3 beers and continue writing the specs of my dream language/os/platform.

I made a post how i experienced a mental breakdown yesterday, a total mental collapse from abnormal dose of studying for college. Here a new day and i still cannot function properly. I cant describe the feeling exactly but feels like my brain is fried by electric shock wave... Like some kind of mild passive aggressive depression of void and nothingness.

During mental breakdown it was so bad that i could not construct basic sentences and comminicate until sleeping for a few hours and resetting myself that way. Now i can but i still cant think or do the coding work. My brain just feels fried... If you never had a mental breakdown just imagine a burnout and then multiply that by 1 million

I dont know what to do

I need help

Passive aggressive commit notes should be mandatory, such a good stress reliever and conversation starter.

Someday I will rely on passive income and not on my job. Gotta escape the rat race 😁

If a company says that they have no hierarchical structure or they have a flat hierarchy consider that as a definite red flag.

What they basically mean is that Noone is responsible for anything and everyone is going to be passive aggressive towards you if you have any skill at all in fear of losing their *position* in others mind.

There is no growth in such a company.

I just saw a news article (nope, not sharing it...don't want them to get the clicks) where they said it's now considered passive-aggressive to use the following emojis (the percentage is a non-specific n-value and N-value...probably 3...of how many younger folks think it makes you look "old" to use these):
1 - Thumbs up - 24%
2 - Red love heart - 22%
3 - OK hand - 20%
4 - Tick - 17%
5 - Poo - 17%
6 - Loudly crying face - 16%
7 - Monkey eye cover - 15%
8 - Clapping hands - 10%
9 - Lipstick kiss mark - 10%
10 - Grimacing face - 9%

I previously only ever used thumbs-up and checkmarks to signal that I understood the message sent to me. My new goal is to use as many of these as possible when messaging anyone under 30. If you are so butthurt by ANY emoji, then you certainly deserve what's coming to you.

Hey devRant! It's been a long time, but I'm baaack! I know you missed me, but my life has been so eventful, and difficult, and so I am here for sympathy and recognition of my status among my fellow devRant community, because like, I'm basically a legend now, I'm sure you've all heard of me!

Did I mention I'm back!? I know right, it's mad, it's like the place hasn't been the same without me. What has changed? Man, I remember when devRant was a toddler colouring in my walls with crayon, man those were the days...

Oh, have any of you seen @OtherLongtimeUser about, are they still alive? Come on guy, we were like best buddies, and your existence validates my sense of self-worth in relation to my status on this here community. You about?

Anyway, life's been hard, I'm sure you're all desperate to hear about it... Looking forward to you asking me about it in the comments so that I can skirt around the answer for you whilst still trying to extract the maximum amount of sympathy. But yea, just tell me you've missed me, that'd be fantastic.

Also, I bet the banter on here isn't like it used to be. All you n00bs missed so much. But hey, did I mention, I'm baaaaack!? ✌

Legit have to control myself not responding to subtle sarcasm or passive aggressiveness in people's rant or comments with utter salt and shade. 😒😒😒

Note to self: Live and let die.

I like my work colleague, great to talk to, bless his heart, however he has this mysterious power to make whatever he writes sound super passive aggressive or aloof. For instance:

Me: this request , to clarify you want me to do this, as per this document
Him: is that what you presume?
Me: 🤨

I don't scream because my teams are in a different country and we communicate by IM and email.

I do write long ranting/passive-aggressive emails or type really quick replies when I'm pissed though. .

An example of the latter:

Boss: I need you to make a "quick" fix...
Me: hmm ok sounds like we should implement it like ...
Boss: I was thinking something like this... since it's a temp fix
Need: (typing faster) why is it a temp fix... why not builds it properly so it can be reused
Boss: but that takes time, this is quicker
Me: it's bad design because ... (Typing so fast I'm making typos)... Anyway I can do it. This is better...
Boss: ... ok fine... if you can finish it before deadline

Oh, boy, prepare for the shit to fly at your face at light speed. Here it comes!

Been working for 6 weeks at this new company now. But at a department that has nothing to do with the job in my contract. Went to the boss and asked how long I have to do this the first week and he said "It will be 4-8 weeks. After this (department A) you'll be placed in department B". I was like "Ok".

6 weeks pass by and there's no sound from him. Went to his office and complained that something slowly needs to happen (changewise). He agreed and I went back to work.

Few hours pass by and my coworker gets a call from him that I will be working at department C from now on with no more information (such as end date) given. My coworker told me that and I asked if he didn't tell my coworker about the end date or any change of plans regarding department B. My coworker didn't know anything.

After the work ended I went to the boss again to ask him why there was this sudden change that he could have told me before in today's meeting or if this sudden change will interfere with our old plan. Instead he passive aggressively told me that he already told me that I will be placed at department B in 2 weeks.

No shit, Sherlock. I already fucking knew that you told me that. I just wanted to know if this sudden change changed our old agreement.

This company is so fucking unorganized. Jesus!

Dear Boss/PM,
If you look over at my desk and I am 'doing nothing', feel free to assume one of the following:
1) I finished what I had to do and am taking a quick break before tackling what's next.
2) I am working on something that is giving me a hard time and am taking a quick pause to refresh.

I have been trying my best to fix a broken process and a product that never saw the day of the light.

Aligning all the teams, trying to bridge all the feature gaps, and at the same time learning this new product and company culture.

Now this lady comes to me with a requirement. I have zero clue what it is and instead of empathising with me that I am new and should dumb down her ask, she kept throwing heavy product specific terms as if I have been working in this team for previous 9 lives.

Anyway, I take her ask into my product roadmap and try to prioritise it.

Now I connect with them again for some discovery and she is passive aggressive towards me that it's been more than a year no one is considering their request and started whinning.

I have just joined the org 6 months ago and you start attacking me for someone else's mistake?

What the actual fuck! Go fucking die bitch. Never again I am taking her request.

If she has a problem then just speak it up and take it with leadership. Don't fucking be passive aggressive with me especially when I am not at fault and infact I am trying to help her.

And in interviews they ask people whether they are a team player or not.

I was taught that an IDS is a passive protection method, and an IPS is active. My security+ boot camp is trying to tell me IDS is active. Thoughts?

And yes, I'm still studying for this, I've been avoiding it because I'm salty I failed by one. But now it's a requirement, so I have no more time to avoid. :(

So.. are any of you guys trying to create something for some passive income? How is it going?

!rant

Having lots shitty comments and lots of shitty rants is like having passive income, the ++ come slowly but surely.

I love Slack because people say all sorts of things and then forget.

So resharing the direct link to a Slack conversation is a passive aggressive way to tell them off.

The second passive aggressive thing is making an animated gif of where that conversation took place.

I love being passive-aggressive.

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

so here’s the tea.

i’m a Chinese dev working in a Japanese company. they’ve got this decently sized project a full web app and backend stack and yeah, I’m handling both ends. full-stack life. not a problem. I’ve seen worse.

but the maturity level in this place? the passive-aggressiveness? is different level. have you ever worked somewhere where your coworkers act all sweet on the surface, but lowkey make it feel like everything is your fault in the most obvious way possible?

so here comes the fun part.

the Stripe exchange rate endpoint we were using? deprecated. not globally — just regionally in Japan.

i did my homework. contacted Stripe support. got the chats, screenshots, docs, confirmations, evidence, not .........vibes.

solution? easy. i integrated a third-party API that returns the same exchange rate data. built a cron job to pull and cache the values daily. stored it locally. frontend grabs the user’s currency via IP, backend returns the rate, no stress, no wasted API calls. boom. problem solved.

my manager? totally got it. said it was efficient.
but the founder? man acted like a toddler.

he flipped. said it was my fault.
told me i just "no communicate well...uh...very confuse..." like bro… what even? do I look like I own stripe or do I look like I secretly working for them? plus, i explain in full, still not understand.

he got heated in meeting, so I clapped back in the meeting: you want to argue all day and get nothing done? or you want to understand what’s going on, and let me go back to building stuff that actually works? pick one.

he didn’t like that.
pretty sure he’s shopping for my replacement now. well, doesn’t take a genius to see it.

but I’m not here to babysit egos. I’ll do my job clean, document everything, and keep it professional. meanwhile yeah, I’ve already started looking for something else.

Some guy bought a whole bunch of city specific domain names once and wanted me to code the websites for him and manage and support the sites for 5% equity in his business. I told him you realize I can buy my own domains for very little money and build the sites for 100% ownership. His idea was not so bad for that time but he just thought that I was a nerd and he could just use me and I would just be passive and go along being that I'm desperate to make friends.

I have never really understood the true meaning or usage of the term "passive aggressive".

Is this email passive aggressive? Or just a bit sad?

My thesis supervisors gave me a set of templates and guidelines for the whole thing and argh.

they constantly assume that I've no fucking idea about academic writing despite the very good graded talks and texts I handed in in the past - granted, they probably often deal with inexperienced students.

but what they've given me.. a) the thesis template does not work, they fucked up some latex packages and b) there's a almost passive aggressive 3 page explanation on academic writing and how wo work with sources and references and they forgot the fucking references lol. There are none included and the references all go like [?].

The coffee/food room on my floor is absurd.

On day, the Keurig machines, microwave oven and convection oven all disappeared. Turns out they were owned by some employees and when they moved to an other floor they took their stuff with them.

In the caffeine-deprived panic that ensued, a bunch of other employees pooled together some money and went across the street to purchase new applicances.

They now charge us 5¢ for each packet of sugar or milk/cream cup. And they announced it with a passive-aggressive poster with an angry dog on it.

You will never win in the unnatural by being passive. By being morally sound, you will only win at the things that require you being morally sound. This industry is not morally sound. This industry is all about who can make the most money. No one gives a fuck about you. You have to be evil sometimes. The only way you can protect yourselves, your subordinates, and your coworkers is to compete by any means possible. You can only protect them by breaking some eggs. That’s the only way to win here. You won’t get anywhere by being a nice person to everyone in this field.

THATS WHY A BUNCH OF US ARE TRYING TO LEAVE!!

What’s the most passive aggressive thing you’ve done against management at work? I’m curious. A rant will follow soon with my most exciting adventure in passive aggressive fuckery.

That moment when you realize that writing “that moment when...” is because you’re too passive and insecure to just say what you really want to say...

-release an app (legally)
-stay healthy + avoid sickness
-speak conversational Mandarin
-build passive income (optional)
-get out of toxic work relationship/s (optional)

How many hours of actual productive work do you devs average a day? Honestly, I think I average about 2 hours of honest, good work in my 8 hour day. Between random meaningless meetings that could be emailed out or just daily distractions (coworkers chatting, my phone, etc). Am I alone in this?