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Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
Asdfajsdfk.21 -
Hey @Root! I know you won't have time to finish Ticket A before holiday vacation, so work on Ticket B instead.
I finished Ticket A in time. except for converting/fixing some horrible spaghetti monstrosity. More or less: "we overwrote this gem's middleware and now it calls back into our codebase under specific circumstances, and then calls the gem again, which calls the middleware again." Wtf? It's an atrocity against rationality.
The second day after vacation:
Hey @Root, drop Ticket B and work on Ticket C instead. Can you knock this out quick, like before friday? ... Uh, sure. It looks easy.
Ticket C was not easy. Ticket C was a frontend CSS job to add a print button, and for unknown reasons, none of the styles apply during printing. The only code involved is adding a button with a single line of javascript: `window.print()`, so why give it to the chick who hasn't been given a frontend ticket in over a year? Why not give it to the frontend guy who does this all day every day? Because "do it anyway," that's why.
And in somewhere between 13 (now 5) minutes and two hours from now, I'm going to have a 1:1 with my boss to discuss the week. Having finished almost all of Ticket A won't matter because it's not a "recent priority" -- despite it being a priority before, and a lot of work. I've made no progress on Ticket B due to interruptions (and a total and complete lack of caring because I'm burned out and quite literally can no longer care), and no progress on ticket C because... it's all horribly broken and therefore not quick. I assigned it to Mr. Frontend, which I'll probably get chewed out for.
So, my 1:1 with bossmang today is going to be awful. And the worst part of all: I'm out of rum! Which means sobriety in the face of adversity! :<
but like, wtf. Just give me a ticket and let me work on it until it's done. Stop changing the damn priorities every other freaking day!17 -
this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.
13 -
Dude
The client has a giant database with all credit and debit cards
ALL INFOS IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT
THE CARD NUMBER
THE CVV
THE EXPIRY DATE
I'M SHAKING AF38 -
!rant Pulled an accidental all-nighter on Friday because I started crocheting a blanket for the cats and lost track of time. I am becoming a crocheting fiend!
12 -
Manager: In ALL cases if someone uses vanilla javascript to do something instead of a library then that is a sign they are an ABSOLUTE BEGINNER!!!
Dev: …12 -
ALRIGHT
WHAT FUCKING DUMBASS AT APPLE DECIDED THAT YOUR AIRPODS SHOULD PAIR WITH YOUR
CLOSED
FUCKING
MACBOOK
INSTEAD OF YOUR ACTIVELY SEARCHING IPHONE
PRODUCT MANAGERS ARE SHIT
DEVELOPERS ARE SHIT
THE WORST IS KNOWING THEY ALL EARN EASILY 6 FIGURES
AND ARE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AT EVERYTHING15 -
I was entering all the characters in the captcha textbox, out of force of habit, and couldn't realize why it was being marked as invalid. Then I realized...
8 -
i hate this "She-EO" crap. they can call that feminism all they want, but all it does is set back women 40 years. yes, your red blazer is gonna break the glass ceiling honey 🙄15
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!rant I finished crocheting the capelet I was working on. Not too bad for a first attempt, I think!
26 -
Consequences Associated with Burnout:
- sleep deprivation ✅
- change in eating habits ✅
- increased illness due to weakened immune system ✅
- difficulty concentrating and poor memory/attention ✅
- lack of productivity ✅
- poor performance ✅
- avoidance of responsibilities ✅
- loss of enjoyment ✅
Have I just been burnt out and living it as my norm for the past 5 years? 🤡3 -
How to step up the level of emotional torture PhD students are subjected to by academia:
In addition to the normal status for submitted papers, which are "received", "under review" and "decision pending", let's add "undisclosed"!
Which means they know about the decision, you know they know, they know you know they know, but they will still leave you hanging for an unknown period of time, bathing in acidic dread.
12 -
???: Salesforce is simply the best. You can do anything you can dream of with it. It can solve all of your pro—
Dev: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.11 -
If I hear the word "techie" one more time from management, I'm gone lose my shit!!!
I don't go around calling them "managies" all day!!!15 -
Well, well, well, my new year's gift:
Someone is jamming thousands of requests per second, and NO firewall. JWT tokens that expires in 3 HOURS.
Now MORE THAN 40K stolen.
But, where did it come from? https://devrant.com/rants/4961285/...16 -
As 22.2.22 is coming to an end, I've sent an email to request for another PhD position.
That's all.
Wish me luck.8 -
My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.
You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.4 -
Manager: Dev, you will submit to my leadership and surrender all common sense to agree with what I say or face consequences.
Dev: Manager, Fuck you!2 -
I was working with this "friend" in a supposedly "partnership" way. He was handling the customer getting all the info for the product and doing all the communication.
fRiEnD: So I talked with the customer, the website will be delivered on 10th of June.
Me: yOu &%@!ing WhAt?!
*he didn't ask before if it would have been possible12 -
Thinking of starting an OnlyFans where I post all the atrocious shitcode that I find to make my fans miserable….7
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If Apple made an electric car, they would make all the charging stations incompatible every two years.16
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I bless everyone with happiness worth billions of dollars and additional billion dollar in cash.
Live happy everyone. I hope all your good dreams come true.24 -
I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.
Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞7 -
I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.1
-
Best
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
Worst:
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
I hope I'm just tired.3 -
"We chose Android Native as our dev stack because we all got experience in Java"
- The biggest mistake I've ever made in a group project7 -
Another shitty shitty day.
That's all I wanted to post. Don't ask or comment or bother.
Keep scrolling.. thank you!11 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.3 -
Just wanted everyone to know that I did a find and replace all in my project and it actually worked as intended.
That's all.8 -
Damn all developers to hell, who just avoid responsibility at all cost! Ask a simple question and a typical response is "WE NEED A MEETING OF THE COUNCIL TO DECIDE THIS!"8
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You’re my friends! Right?
… right? 🥺
But in all honesty, it’s this and Virtual Coffee for me. I’ve made so many friends from Virtual Coffee (https://virtualcoffee.io). ❤️11 -
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them8 -
Just startup stories:
Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.
Huh, imagine that.4 -
Corp: you will get a four hour assignment to work out
Me: cool nice.
Corp: here it is, build a dragon with conflicting requirements, stocks but without any form of pricing mixed in. Then slay that dragon and post it to the static backend we created.
Me: cringe much?
Corp: yeah, you can spend more than 4h but be sure to spice things up abit. Since it is frontend, and all we spin up from the backend is flat data. But it must exhale an exciting user experience.
Me: stop the cringe pls!6 -
I currently have 5168 node_modules folders on my computer.
Not 5168 folders inside node_modules, but 5168 actual node_modules folders.
That's all. That's the rant.8 -
Can we all just set aside our differences for one day and agree that Elon Musk DID NOT invent the electric car?
Please, for sanity's sake!14 -
Engineering managers will say things like -
- "I'll let the team decide what's best for them" & "code quality is our primary goal" -
but then they'll shoot down any & all requests to go back to some old piece of code and refactor/clean it, because of "deadlines".
Hypocrites, all of them.6 -
You want me to build a whole fucking site with a new theme on December with no mockups and all build with a custom design after you left me all fucking September and october without fucking work?.
No. Fucking. Way.1 -
Why is it what so many developers think that they are the sole genius surrounded by idiots and completely lack in interpersonal skills or the ability to see other people's arguments as valid? Honestly, with some people it's like working with an emotionally stunted teenager. I literally spoke to someone yesterday who thinks it's impossible to come to a compromise or agreement about anything unless there is a third party to arbitrate and mindlessly insists on his own way in literally every disagreement, even after admitting his logic is faulty. It's like watching a spotty 17 year old argue about politics online I swear it.5
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any of you like your job? I'm so used to reading rants, sometimes i think everyone is just depressed all the time17
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Keras was throwing errors...
Since I thought it was a tensorflow issue, I went up and down and all the way around. Installing all tensorflow shit like a bijillion times.
... But it wasn't. It was the fucking ipykernel...
It took me a good 5-6 hours.
I pulled a 12 hours day today.
... Somebody hug me plz 😢3 -
Ever since I learned to mute my phone and set all communicator apps to “Unavailable” for a weekend, I am a much happier person :)1
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"Black supremacy is as dangerous as white supremacy, and God is not interested merely in the freedom of black men and brown men and yellow men, God is interested in the freedom of the whole human race and the creation of a society where all men will live together as brothers, and all men will respect the dignity and the worth of all human personality."
- MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.36 -
I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)
And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.
Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.
I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./
Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.
I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.
Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.
People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.4 -
www.dartlang.org
Dart helps you craft beautiful, high-quality experiences across all screens
... Not my screen though
I forgive them 😊
1 -
!rant
It's funny to consider that my previous rant (https://devrant.com/rants/4510906/...) before I stopped checking this platform as regularly was about what the perfect job would look like to me
…
Because I just landed it today, people!
Signed with a very chill, medium sized, local dev company that appreciates me as much as I do appreciate them. Starting next month I won't be just a random intern (although they never treated me as such anyway) anymore but a professional developer, with even a slightly more important pay than what you (at least I)'d expect for a junior
Adios annoying courses and mediocre marks, now the fun begins!14 -
"BUSCAR TODO"
This Spanish translation for "SEARCH ALL" just tricked me into thinking that a translation is missing 😅2 -
What does PFA MOM stand for?
We're an international company, we all use English while working. That's all fine and good.
But there's one project manager that throws in really obscure acronyms that even I, a native English speaker, struggle with.
It's "please find attached minutes of meeting". Is it really that hard to type?16 -
First of all: FUCK MS WORD!!!
second: even tho I LOVE LaTeX, fuck LaTeX tables!!!
I mean, yeah, I am used to them, but maaaaaaaannn2 -
I can't motivate myself to read or understand all these papers and tutorials... I wish I had a backup brain somewhere. 🙄4
-
Next year I will strive to achieve the best test coverage on all our components and design all our new features using best-practice agile methodology with a realtime user involvement.
Reverend on 7 January: Fuck that, we need to ship this shit to production now. -
Solution for all the problems... Even global warming
Have you tried turning it off and on again...!?? 😌
2 -
I can't believe fucking Google, aka me cha for SWEs decided that the best they can do is shove all that ram into our computers for Chromium. All of the major apps decided Electron was a good idea and now all of our computers are bloated with fatass memory hogs taking 600MB RAM.
Fuck you Goog.25 -
all the fun people at my workplace have either been fired or they have left. my workplace is bone dry now3
-
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.1
-
Absolutely nothing excites me anymore in this field. Tech is such a commodity and I’m just so over all of it. Not gonna go all Ted Kaczinsky but I find myself longing for a time when not everything and everyone was controlled by computers. We’re not far from total transhumanism and despite what some may believe, that’s not a good thing.5
-
Client: We are completely unable to plan a construction project successfully. We want you to use AI to do all of our project planning for us. Our requirements are that instead of needing to spend any money or time planning we just want to press a button and have a computer instantly put together all of our project plans for us. The program also needs to identify optimizations on it’s own and change all related plans enterprise-wide. All copies of the plans should be able to be kept up to date at all times so we’re never looking at an old plan again. We also want the ability to print.
Dev: …11 -
Bossman told me to give my project more hierarchy and to add all those weird __init__.py files.
I don,t quite like all those boring empty files, so anyone got some bri'ish language "innit?" jokes or other awful puns to add as comments?8 -
Why, for the love of all that is good, does anyone still code for absolute placements in css?!
I've spent 90%+ of my time lately making some changes, which is about 20x harder than it needed to be because this app (written in the last 1-3 years) has all of the styling set explicitly. How does anyone justify that?8 -
Who the fuck at google thought it was a good idea to not let you log out from a single account in gmail when multiple are logged in in the browser. You have to log out of all of them all or not at all. And it is a new change, i can remember being able to do that previously. Just why?2
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If I ever run my own engineering team I shall ban all meetings after 12 PM. Or permit meetings only on 2 days of the week.6
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Oh man, it's so funny when people try to install npm via cmd and they can't understand, what fuck all errors they are getting.2
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I can't work
I can't sleep
I can't eat
I can't code
I can't go have fun
I can't have a conversation
Because I've got a new exciting idea "💡" buzzing all over my mind all the time.
It's been 9 days already and it's still exciting, probably even more. I think that means it might be worth going ahead and realising it.6 -
What are some strategies to grow when your team size is increasing? My team will be doubling in 6 months. All devs.8
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My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.
I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.
Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).
I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.
The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.
I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.4 -
https://dr.03j.de/
Maybe I'm gathering statistics every hour of your score.
Alle angaben ohne gewähr (All data without warranty)
But why are most of you loosing points?17 -
Dang it all to hestia. I was feeling lower and lower then I realized I wasn't exercising like at all. So I got to my walks again at work and went to gym after work. I feel like a million bucks!2
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Hey, all you shitty devs who give my Udemy courses 1 or 2 stars with no comment or feedback
FUCK YOU!!!!13 -
The most shittiest feeling in competitive programming is when your code passes all the test cases except the last three. 🤓😌2
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New job. Almost all sites are blocked due to "security"... even spotify. I can' listen to the music. Fortunately i have access to dev rant xd4
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!1
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Companies: We're starting to rotate people back through the office
Devs all drinking their desks: Please no2 -
If Uncle Bob Martin took all software engineers who are better in designing architecture than him, he could fully book Hilbert's hotel.1
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I'm a hobby programmer and i don't hav any programming ideas! How do you all get programming ideas?7
-
Cool. I've installed a time paradox! All that's left is to figure out how to leverage it to my benefit...
3 -
Narrow my skillset down to a few masteries.
Gotta stop being jack of all techs 🤣
Be less harsh and judgemental towards myself. -
Why do we never talk about angular? It was way ahead all the time. Like you got all these nice things with Vue 3 and React 42, but bro angular got it all for years..
It feels so nice learning it.7 -
I accidentally forgot to stop my EC2 instance.....
No joke, I have had to use all of my money that I made through freelancing(20 bucks)10 -
Today a client opened a ticket saying that all the content for a customer returns 404. Turns out it's kinda important to end a prefix on a separator if you plan to recursively delete all data /user/<user_id> or you might end up deleting a bit of extra data1
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When at School there was a hack that went around all the local schools that caused computers to shutdown as soon as it gets to the login screen.1
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Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
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Ffs, spent all day fixing jests tests and couldn’t resolve an error. Hours of googling turns out it, I forgot to put event.preventDefault() on a blank href.
Mondays…. -
I changed all my password to "incorrect"
So whenever i forget it will tell me "your password is incorrect"3 -
happy new year everyone! not that anything ever changes, but hope is free 😅
i wish all of you a year with very little reason to rant ✨1 -
https://devrant.com/rants/5565999/...
This reminds me of the time the upper management that took over a government contract didn't know how to use Lotus Notes email correctly. We had an entire day of people in the upper group hitting "Reply to All" for company wide emails. Then people who got the email again, also in upper management, would angrily "Reply to All" for them to stop sending these emails to everyone again. Like I said, this went on for a day. These were the so called geniuses who got paid the most in the company. This is how they introduced themselves to the company.3 -
I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.
2 -
People be like: “We don’t use comments cause good code should explain itself”
Then proceed to use complicated app architectures with classes all over the place.
Fuck.8 -
still can't believe someone actually hired me as dev and then multiple companies tried poaching me (one tried twice, another tried four times)
what are they all on3 -
Had a coding challenge for an interview. 2 questions and I passed all the tests on both questions. But I got an email from the recruiter saying that one of my questions didn’t have a working solution??? Wtf it passed all the tests, am I retarded?3
-
Bing does not understand context at all, I searched PS1 console color to change bash settings, it showed me results about the PlayStation 1 and not about Bash.10
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Any other South Africans here?
What y'all think of the loadshedding?
I think the bastards should all be rounded up and charged with treason and manslaughter14 -
Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients1 -
Despite all the code bugs, manager worries, colleagues' annoyances, self pity, low self esteem, constant guilt all the way, we are still alive and kicking
I guess 2022 will be nothing different but I also wish it will be super interesting and satisfying
Wish You And Your Families a Very Happy New Year 2022!1 -
I kind of miss abbie boi doxxing randos, avoiding all responsibility, arguing against all reason and just generally making no sense… that was fun.
Now we only have Kaine’s avatar making absolutely no sense at all. So boring…7 -
Lead dev runs the program I gave him to set up a bunch of processes that run for one database.
It has a GUI that seems native to his windows environment......but it sort of is not.
The program runs, asks for the .csv file that is to be parsed into the database.
Lead dev: Ok, what is this though?
Me (his boss) "Don't worry about it"
Him: "Holy shit what the fuck is this??? TELL ME!!!"
Me: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
Him: "WTF DID YOU MAKE THIS IN???!
ME: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CMS Admin (another one of my employees) "Would you TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!?"
New Guy (mainly a frontend dev): ........
Meanwhile, in production, no one knows if your gui app is built in Lazarus and Free Pascal, as long as it works.
I really need to stop doing this to the lead dev, dude already keeps trying to choke me for writing things in perl.
On another note, Object Pascal is pretty cool. Might write a book on it for those that want to do CLI based applications on it, I have no clue why every book on the subject costs in euros, but there should be more shit written for beginners, language is awesome and one can get lots of mileage from Lazarus and FPC11 -
Mad how Zuck can instantly stop everyone talking about all the creepy, weird shit by simply renaming the internet. Prince Andrew missed a trick there.2
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Is there something like tinder that doesn't require a photo?
I just don't like my own face right now. That's all.39 -
Oh look I'm posting the same thing again because all logical patheways lead to the same fucking place.
Sort of binary tree with a few keys added visualized.
7 -
After (allegedly) coronavirus infection I'm still constantly tired and unmotivated to even eat a week after all symptoms disappeared.
Yay me 😒17 -
Hope everyone had a chill and relaxed day. I know I did. Sun was nice. People at work were so easy going. Didn't have a segfault all day.
Was to be expected. It was 4/20 all day.11 -
How would you react if you got a dev job but had no technical stage at all? (coding/take home/quiz)5
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godddd you know this all would have resolved itself a lonnng ass time ago. a LONG time ago. if punishment would just come to these idiots.1
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I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.
I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".
I literally did not change anything all these months.
Fuck you npm.3 -
Hate on PHP all you want but ain’t no web framework gives you everything out of the box like Laravel does.8
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Sometimes, all you just need is to...
Disconnect yourself from everyone and everything for some time, and find a place where you find peace of mind and comfort.
Direct communication with your inner soul which is also known as healthy self-talk gives all the answers and helps you find the way to move ahead.
Self-motivation works wonders, remember that!1 -
What Linux distro is best for development?
I'm thinking of making a persistent USB with a Linux distro on it for programming so I don't have all my video games and stuff at my fingertips at all times to reduce distraction.28 -
Made a mc server the other day.. Java&Bedrock Crossplay 1.19
Anarchy and no tp ofcourse.
Someone wants to play? :)
I have also coded a plugin to automatically send all messages to a whatsapp group and all messages from the whatsapp group to the server chat3 -
5 minutes before the meeting, I get refreshed and start setting everything up. All in a sonic speed rush. Always feels like a movie! :D1
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How to destroy all table data:
* Get a database;
* Add the first table;
* Add the second table;
* Create a foreign key in second table that delete a record where there is a delete in the first table;
* Update all data in the first table with a REPLACE command.
Miracle: all data is lost3 -
The frontend community is always coming up with new solutions to old problems and make it sound all interesting 🧐4
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Day of days! Insomnia supports environment variables! And has for a long time! I just missed it is all!
-
As a JS developer I wish that when I import a package, a list of all the Jquery methods comes shipped with it 🥺12
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OPEN TO THE IDEA OF US ALL VID CHATTING JUST ONCE AND SEEING WHAT THE OTHERS ARE UP TO AND HOW AND WHO THEY ARE BEFORE WE'RE ALL DEAD OF OLD AGE !16
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Multi cloud, multi account, VPCs with k8s clusters all tied together with rancher and vault. Deployed in Terraform.
What a monster that was to create!3 -
If I had a Dev superpower, that would be: Never need to sleep.
Why? That would enable me to finish all my work in time! -
https://youtu.be/7gvmzWPUHmY
All these things work so well
Why is anyone doing poorly anywhere ?
Could you imagine if we had to do this all by hand ??8 -
I actually went to college and got a bachelors degree in both computer science and buisness.
Take that all you guys that are better than me!8 -
First games console ever tried: NES. Around 1986.
First computer:
Sinclair Spectrum +2 !! Around 1988. I used to buy those books that came with code. I wrote all that code in but hardly ever played the actual game.
Once met the guy who created lots of game faves at the time (manic miner, chucky egg etc). That's where it all started...4 -
For the first time I work for an old and absolutely massive company. I have never seen systems so byzantine and so outdated ever before. With how the project management on top of it all has been going so far I'm really impressed that anything gets done at all.2
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It has been a few years since I havn't touched any code, IDE, git or anything else.
And now, I'm trying to create a new personnal project for Warhammer with Laravel, Node, Tailwind and trying to understand all the webpacking thing ...
Dude, it's hard af to get back in business with all the new things ...
Any advice on how to get back ?5 -
Question: For those of you who went math mode, did you ever look back? Was your future grim, happy, or does that even matter at all?7
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This week has been all read-only.
Me: I'm bored and I need some actual work.
Boss: Be careful what you are asking for1 -
Why am I like that....
All is good, there is ONE FUCKING request which is slow.
Why, why I'm searching it ? For fun I guess !
4 -
Would you still do your current job even if you had all the money in the world to not work again?15
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never ranted about movies
but
Everything Everywhere All at Once
this movie is for THIS generation.1 -
Does anyone else it fucking ironic that Jira is the go to tool for "agile" development? The amount of bloat, buttons, etc all make non-agile the task of filling out all the stupid forms and assigning all these shitty irrelevant details makes it a turn off.1
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Apple : Don't just copy my homework, make some changes.
Google : ok bro. lol
"Google hires the best people in the world*"
*except all of them
5 -
How do I find all of the AWS resources' arn identifiers? I'm trying write shit in terraform but making granular IAM policies is a nightmare.4
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Of all the bullish moves by businesses this is probably the worst..shows how companies like Amazon and Google got us by the balls..
4 -
Let your friends play youtube music on your account during party, get them all drunk and play some random shit and suddenly all your music recommendations are fucked up, that’s how this super expensive and amazing AI works in a real world where there is more than one person.
I need to skip 10 songs now to get to one that’s decent.10 -
I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
Any of you fellas have experience with Jetbrains space? I'm very much used to GitHub and it's cicd, but the all in one project management stuff is enticing.
-
Well all be dead and this colossal waste of time will still continue
Would really like to settle down in a house long before I’m dead. Thanks.3 -
♫ It's high time we reviewed our design, ♫
♫ The code behind our system is just too byzantine, ♫
♫ We'll rewrite all the legacy and take it off line, ♫
1 -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
I think all this gender shit is just garbage. The male/female group has it wrong and the wtf gender group has it wrong. There is one gender, period! We are all male.
Reason: We are all made of Adams, not Eves.3 -
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
Things like Mailtrack are against privacy, aren’t they? Especially because it’s not in the control of receivers at all. Or am I missing something?!4
-
Merry xmas to all
Witnessed the first ever world cup won by my country via cinema.
It can't be any better -
I made this little webapp to make custom subscription feeds for YouTube
https://subber-app.herokuapp.com
I use it for all the Simon Whistler channels2 -
i once changed all of the passwords of my main online accounts(google, apple, facebook, telegram, outlook) as they weren't changed for years.
i decided unique and long passwords for each of them.😎
immediately after changing the passwords, i forgot all of them. 😵fortunately, i was able to reset.
Has this ever happened to anyone?3 -
I am SO TIRED of marketing teams imposing their tools to developers. I am TIRED of all those crappy old libraries or meaningless APIs2
-
VS2022 is an abomination......
I was forced to put the whole team on 2019 ansd remove all .net 6....
VS2022 is NOT USABLE AT ALL !
It's like vs2010 which we all skipped.
I'll wait for VS 2024 at this point...
can't work. "Changed a file" ? Oh wait i'll just recompile whole solution for 3 minmutes at EACH FUCKING FILE CHANGE.
VS2019 9Same project) : 0.2 seconds.8 -
MySQL Innodb easily get crashed, bullshit, I just restarted my server now all databases get corrupted. F*ck you OVH3
-
For all you illiterates who don't know how to google the english langage:
https://dailywritingtips.com/the-tw...
This just means it is jif and jimp.8 -
i hate children, all of them, every single one. all of those disgusting freeloaders!!! they don't pay money at all, yet they get to enjoy lavish lifestyles!! we need to stop this and dump them all in the trash! subscribe to my course to learn the best ways to kill children: ibeatkids.com3
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I got one YT recommendation from "Charisma on Command" and now I'm watching all videos. I have all these problems and more.6
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why would you have 3 people interviewing a candidate if you all are gonna talk half as much as a normal person
It's just awkward to be there2 -
Now my desktop wifi dongle is crapping out ...
Why is all this happening RIGHT AFTER black Friday, cyber monday....3 -
Yo guys any advice or tips for product dev/product management (internship) and all would be awesome1
-
TightVNC on Windows OS's, copy & paste don't always work, solution ?
Today, it isn't sometimes, its all day !4 -
at the company i’m leaving, all of them. incredibly blessed to have been mentored and worked under all of them, who’ve been amazing for me.
-
Not too sure why I am required to be in the office when we all know the next code I will be writing is next year.2
-
Define programmers
The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks. -
Android OS is officially done in 2022 and belongs on a graveyard with all the other projects that started out good but got ruined later by corporate bullheads
-
Do you remember when Death Grips were popular, tons of memes and shit, but some time has passed and we all just… moved on?1
-
all their petty torturous crap does is get them beaten and killed jn the long run. meanwhile their 'security' system keeps them trapped. hurray.
-
To all the M1 Macbook owners out there that use it for software development - do you regret your pick? If so, why (or what doesn't work)?4
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Price of gold? Valuable coins? All that stuff? I was too afraid to ask because you were very annoyed then.8
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to be happy about weekend or to cry at all the work that needs to be done before heading to weekend1
-
They have most certainly been exploiting their studies of air currents to create some pretty shitty smell and particulate matter effects all over the goddamn usa !1
-
What is it with web devs that can't write effective PHP applications that don't need a 1 GB of Memory Limit?
Where are the days that 32MBs of memory was fine per request? Ugh...2 -
I'm sorry.
Its so nice to encourage you all to grander things and provide the means by which you can achieve all your goals with ease.
I'm one of many brainless zombie twats that does what I'm told when someone stoops enough to tell me to do what any decent human being should and puts up with my worthless ass. :)5 -
Made fun of JavaScript and told millions why Python is better than all other languages on this fucking planet. But still...
8 -
SAFe PI objective "business value" estimates are complete and utter bullshit. Every objective is a 10? Let's work on all of them in parallel! Fucking genius!2
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HELP!!!, My ubuntu system exhaust all of it's ram, my system lags too much, I was currently running firefox, vim, postman, react server and node server.
26 -
How do you get the motivation to study especially when your field and company policy dictate that you must study and get certified all the damn time?5
-
Meta made Horizons World open to all people that have Occulus.
I don't but watching a YouTube video all I can think is that the avatars and world look like the Wii one years ago... And well no better then mobile.
So would be better if they just used the anime art like Genshin Impact or Breath of the Wild...4
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