preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.

Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
Why?

You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.

AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.

STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.

But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.

guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.

Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.

Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...

Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.

Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.

Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.

Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.

Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.

Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.

Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.

Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.

Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.

Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.

Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]

----

What. The. Fuck.

The programmer and the interns part 2.

We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.

Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.

Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.

Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.

Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt

Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.

Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

[Client]
We've noticed we gave you the wrong product prices for our new online shop.

[Dev]
Yeah, just login to the backend and fix them.

[Client]
But we don't want to use your fancy backend, we'll be using anyway soon - we want EXCEL!
Could you send us an EXCEL, so we can fix that?
How much will this cost?

[Dev]
Sure... here you are.
Not that much, takes about an hour.

[Client]
Great, you'll hear from us in a few days.

(a few months later...)

[Client]
We've finally managed to update the EXCEL. And btw, we've also added a bunch of columns with product pictures and new properties, highlighted products to delete red, inserted some comments with manual instructions and basically destroyed the entire data structure of this table.

Before I forget... also make sure to get this finished today, we have to go live ASAP. Our marketing campaign is already live.

[Dev]
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but this is not possible.
I'm currently working on another project and it will take me hours to clean up the data you sent me, before even starting to build an import tool for the new data you provided. Better stop the campaign and I'll do my best to get this done by the end of the week. Also it may be a bit costly.

(angry client calls immediately...)

(dev transfers to manager...)

(client transfers to client's boss...)

[Manager]
Ok Dev, I think I was able to explain it to them. However, it would be great if you spend day and night to get this thing out ASAP.

[Dev]
No problem...
I'll just do it by hand to get this out immediately.

(few days later; nearly done, exhausted)

[Client]
Hey Dev, here's another EXCEL.
We've just noticed there were a bunch of errors in the previous one. Please use this instead...

*Game Developer*: Works 16 hour days to tight deadlines, in a team restrained by budget cuts. Goes to bed every night exhausted. Games Producer releases game with known issues because deadlines.

*Gamer* (slovenly and lives with his mum, works at McDonalds): Finds minor bug which is fixed within a few days. Rants about 'Those useless fucking games devs' for days. Acts like his life is ruined. Wants a refund on a game he has played 18 hours a day for 2 years. Has 'The Best Ideas' on how to fix the game and make it perfect.

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

I'll sleep when the program is done.

Ever send a message and realize you ended the sentence with a semicolon?..

Whoops;

[This makes me sound really bad at first, please read the whole thing]

Back when I first started freelancing I worked for a client who ran a game server hosting company. My job was to improve their system for updating game servers. This was one of my first clients and I didn't dare to question the fact that he was getting me to work on the production environment as they didn't have a development one setup. I came to regret that decision when out of no where during the first test, files just start deleting. I panicked as one would and tried to stop the webserver it was running on but oh no, he hasn't given me access to any of that. I thought well shit, I might as well see where I fucked up since it was midnight for him and I wasn't able to get a hold of him. I looked at every single line hundreds of times trying to see why it would have started deleting files. I found no cause. Exhausted, (This was 6am by this point) I pretty much passed out. I woke up around 5 hours later with my face on my keyboard (I know you've all done that) only to see a good 30 messages from the client screaming at me. It turns out that during that time every single client's game server had been deleted. Before responding and begging for forgiveness, I decided to take another crack at finding the root of the problem. It wasn't my fault. I had found the cause! It turns out a previous programmer had a script that would run "rm -rf" + (insert file name here) on the old server files, only he had fucked up the line and it would run "rm -rf /". I have never felt more relieved in my life. This script had been disabled by the original programmer but the client had set it to run again so that I could remake the system. Now, I was never told about this specific script as it was for a game they didn't host anymore.
I realise this is getting very long so I'll speed it up a bit.
He didn't want to take the blame and said I added the code and it was all my fault. He told me I could be on live chat support for 3 months at his company or pay $10,000. Out of all of this I had at least made sure to document what I was doing and backup every single file before I touched them which managed to save my ass when it came to him threatening legal action. I showed him my proof which resulted in him trying to guilt trip me to work for him for free as he had lost about 80% of his clients. By this point I had been abused constantly for 4 weeks by this son of a bitch. As I was underage he had said that if we went to court he'd take my parents house and make them live on the street. So how does one respond? A simple "Fuck off you cunt" and a block.

That was over 8 years ago and I haven't heard from him since.

If you've made it this far, congrats, you deserve a cookie!

I don't even know where to start with this rant!
I haven't paid rent for 3 months now.I haven't paid the WiFi and electricity bills too.Hell, I haven't even paid the fucking college fees and it's almost mid-semester.I have like 100+ other bills I haven't paid.I have exhausted loans from all of my banks and I am at the fucking end now!!!!

What's worse is that some motherfuckers owe me close to 4 million in local currency!!!The project was finished in April and until now they can't fucking pay me because their "CEO has not signed the cheque". Motherfuckers, we were all in the same room when we agreed on the pricing.That half-assed CEO was also there!
What the fuck is wrong with people?WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????
How many fucking times do I have to come to your stinking shit office to follow up on payments.How many fucking times????How many fucking times do I have to see new V8s parked outside your office yet you claim you still collecting the funds.How many fucking times?!!?
Please fucking pay me!.I fucking need that money stupid.I don't survive on eating flies! FTW!

"Ugh... what a day, so exhausted from sitting at the computer all day. Can't wait to get home from work and
INSTALL ARCH LINUX FUCK YEAH!!"

I really hate this company.

The code is a disaster. Every single other employee is a salesperson. Nobody has any bloody clue what I do or how difficult it is. They don't care about stability (unless things are crashing), maintenance (until crashing), code quality (until it delays features), or anything apart from shiny new features they can sell. The boss (the king salesman, if ever there was one) doesn't know how to manage, but tries to by acting like his "nice asshole" self -- he's an asshole that gives you passes, makes sure it's bloody obvious that he's doing it begrudgingly, yet everything is still absolutely your fault. If he arbitrarily decides it's too much your fault, he stops being "nice" and flips out on you in front of everyone. That's a "nice asshole": an asshole who can barely even pretend to be nice.

Fuck him.

And you know what? I really hate having to work next to these fucking birds, too.

Today was our weekly conference call, and I was both late and unprepared. I was too focused on my work, and got a ping 4 minutes into the meeting, so I obv didn't have time to prepare. Boss was also pissy today, and I didn't have much to show for my week, thanks to lots of little "OMG NEED ASAP" shit projects that all took too long, pushing back what I was actually supposed to work on. Which didn't get finished, of course, and today that project was "the most important" -- I suspect simply because it wasn't finished. AGADJFSKL. Cue the birds fucking screaming and never fucking shutting up no matter what I did. Blanket? No effect. Spray bottle? SCREAM MORE! Boss was yelling at me, the birds were screaming, and I couldn't think. Goddamn fucking disaster.

and yes, we have a macaw. A macaw and over 20 cockatiels. Said macaw decided today was a lovely day to just fucking SCREAM non-stop, and the tiels were doing their best to keep up. Thinking clearly during this cacophony? Not gonna happen.

Wait, "go elsewhere," you say? Somewhere quieter? Where is this "elsewhere?" We live in a fucking tiny house, and during the call it was (and still is) filled with sleeping people, and surrounded by a fucking desert. Who the fuck thought living in the desert was a good idea, anyway? Like, seriously. What brainless moron thought "You know what? This is a great place! Let's settle down right here," while trudging through the scorching sand and dust, looking at the basically lifeless horizon filled with large, hot, dry, dusty, barren rocks (aka "mountains"), and fucking dying from thirst? Probably someone so delirious from heatstroke they never actually recovered, and continued raving that it's a goddamn paradise to their heat-addled imbecile followers. I really hope they hallucinated a la-z-boy in place of a hedge of teddybear cholla and died an excruciating and prickly death. Fuck that guy/girl, too.

But I digress.

I seriously need an office that isn't a 30 min drive into gang-central. I'd work outside, but I live in the middle of the bloody fucking desert, and get heat exhaustion within about half an hour. Everywhere else in the house people bother me almost incessantly.

just. FUCKING FJASKLDFJGAG.
I HATE THIS PLACE SO SO SO MUCH.

'I've had such Zen lately,' Alex said. Maybe then, but lately? I've just been too exhausted and burned out from putting up with all this shit to get angry. Days like today? I could pour kerosene over everything and laugh as it all just burned to ash.

Fuck javascript
Fuck css
Fuck even html
And fuck web dev in general.
i can't do this shit anymore.

i've been working in web for ~2.5 years, 4 different companies, countless frameworks, technologies and tools and it feels good having that kind of knowledge and ability to do anything in this field, but god damn. I'm exhausted of "moving pixels" most of the time.

And i know, maybe different company and position would better suit me, but how often do people hire pure breed back-enders ? not that often, at least not in my country. Everyone has to do everything. And even then, php/sql/sysadmin/devops work doesn't motivate me as much. I need something that would make me actually think.

And so i decided to change my specialty, i'm going to follow my long lived dream - game dev (C++) :)

Oh i know, i'm not naive. I know how difficult and hard it is, but it seems like i've finally matured for it. So i've been waking up at 5 a.m and learning for ~3 hours before work for a few weeks now, and plan to go part-time at my work, after a few months (need to save up some money) for ~6 months, to focus on C++

Then hopefully i'll be able to land a junior position. If not, well, i wouldn't be a problem solver if i let that get to me :)

Got basically nothing done yesterday because I was absolutely exhausted the entire day. Thanks, doxxing thread. But I couldn’t sleep anyway so whatever.

Told everyone at home that I wanted a really productive day tomorrow (today) because of it.

Guess what happened?
Endless fucking distractions.
Because of course.

• Cooking since apparently it’s my job.
• Extended computer repair and maintenance, since that’s apparently my job even when it’s not my computer.
• Conversations.
• Children following me.
• People paraphrasing politics.
• People summarizing stupid fail videos.
• People relating stupid prank videos.
• More conversations.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• Endless noises from children’s toys, tablets, playing, etc.
• Children following me when I leave.
• Taking half an hour to order food instead of five minutes.
• Cleaning since nobody else ever does.
• Picking up toys since nobody else will and I’M FUCKING TIRED OF STEPPING ON AND TRIPPING OVER THEM.
• More fucking food prep.
• Endless random nonsense comments from children.
• More conversations.

Is it any wonder I’m so fucking pissed off every workday?

I can’t wait to move so I can have a fucking office with a fucking door and a fucking lock. And you know what? I’m going to splurge and install some fucking soundproofing, too.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!? I’M PAYING FOR YOUR FUCKING EVERYTHING. FUCK THE FUCK OFF!

I realize I've ranted about this before, but...

Fuck APIs.

First the fact that external services can throw back 500 errors or timeouts when their maintainer did a drunk deploy (but you properly handled that using caching, workers, retry handlers, etc, right? RIGHT?)...

Then the fact that they all speak a variety of languages and dialects (Oh fuck why does that endpoint return a JSON object with int keys instead of a simple array... wait the params are separated with pipe characters? And the other endpoint uses SOAP? Fuck I need to write another wrapper class around the client...)

But the worst thing: It makes developers live in this happy imaginary universe where "malicious" is not a word.

"I found this cloud service which checks our code style" — hmm ok, they seem trustworthy. Hope they don't sell our code, but whatever.

"And look at this thing, it automatically makes database backups, just have to connect to it to DigitalOcean" — uhhh wait...

"And I just built this API client which sends these forms to be OCR processed" — Fuck... stop it... there are bank accounts numbers on those forms... Where's that API even located? What company?

* read their privacy policy *

"We can not guarantee the safety of your personal data, use at your own risk [...] we are located in Russia".

I fucking hate these millennial devs who literally fail to get their head out of the cloud.

Somehow they think it's easier to write all these NodeJS handlers and layers around some API, which probably just calls ImageMagick + Tesseract on the other side.

If I wasn't so fucking exhausted, I'd chop of their heads... but they're like hydra, you seal one privacy breach and another is waiting to be merged, these kids just keep spewing their crap into easy packages, they keep deploying shitty heroku apps... ugh.

😖

I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site

Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.

2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)

All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.

Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...

One thing I've learned repeatedly over the last 20 years is that companies are generally not deserving of your loyalty.

By all means, show up, apply yourself, and do your best work, that's just being a professional. But never get emotionally invested in a company you don't own.

There are really only two reasons for staying: earning or learning, ideally both. Once you have exhausted your current employer's limits in this regard, move on, you don't owe them anything.

!!rant
!!ANGER

Micromanager: "Hey, Root!

Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.

But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.

You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."

Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.

And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.

god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS

Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.

jasdkl;fk

ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.

8:50am aight alarm clock, give me 5 more minutes

8:55am ok lets round it to 9, wake me up then

9:00am aight enough. lets just sleep for 1 more minute since 9:00 is too round

9:43am fuck

9:44am ok its time to finally study for the upcoming college exam

9:45am nothing but a fresh day to start studying for college

9:46am eh i dont have a lot to study so I'll do it in 2pm, I'll code my project instead

2pm hold on 5 more minutes until i finish coding this feature and then I'll study

5pm where the fuck is this bug coming from

5:504pm goddamn i found it

6:36pm holy shit its already over 6pm, I'll study at night

7:42pm ok its night now, time to study but I'll do it when i fix all bugs

8:14pm ok bugs fixed, commit. lets study

8:15pm you know what, im way too tired and exhausted from this coding, I'll take a short 30 minute break and then I'll study

10:15pm ok im feeling fresh bois lets study now theres not too much

1:31am damn this movie was good

1:32am fuck i forgot to study, I'll do it tomorrow

2:10am *posts this rant*

Every step of this project has added another six hurdles. I thought it would be easy, and estimated it at two days to give myself a day off. But instead it's ridiculous. I'm also feeling burned out, depressed (work stress, etc.), and exhausted since I'm taking care of a 3 week old. It has not been fun. :<

I've been trying to get the Google Sheets API working (in Ruby). It's for a shared sales/tracking spreadsheet between two companies.

The documentation for it is almost entirely for Python and Java. The Ruby "quickstart" sample code works, but it's only for 3-legged auth (meaning user auth), but I need it for 2-legged auth (server auth with non-expiring credentials). Took awhile to figure out that variant even existed.

After a bit of digging, I discovered I needed to create a service account. This isn't the most straightforward thing, and setting it up honestly reminds me of setting up AWS, just with less risk of suddenly and surprisingly becoming a broke hobo by selecting confusing option #27 instead of #88.

I set up a new google project, tied it to my company's account (I think?), and then set up a service account for it, with probably the right permissions.

After downloading its creds, figuring out how to actually use them took another few hours. Did I mention there's no Ruby documentation for this? There's plenty of Python and Java example code, but since they use very different implementations, it's almost pointless to read them. At best they give me a vague idea of what my next step might be.

I ended up reading through the code of google's auth gem instead because I couldn't find anything useful online. Maybe it's actually there and the past several days have been one of those weeks where nothing ever works? idk :/

But anyway. I read through their code, and while it's actually not awful, it has some odd organization and a few very peculiar param names. Figuring out what data to pass, and how said data gets used requires some file-hopping. e.g. `json_data_io` wants a file handle, not the data itself. This is going to cause me headaches later since the data will be in the database, not the filesystem. I guess I can write a monkeypatch? or fork their gem? :/

But I digress. I finally manged to set everything up, fix the bugs with my code, and I'm ready to see what `service.create_spreadsheet()` returns. (now that it has positively valid and correctly-implemented authentication! Finally! Woo!)

I open the console... set up the auth... and give it a try.

... six seconds pass ...

... another two seconds pass ...

... annnd I get a lovely "unauthorized" response.

asjdlkagjdsk.

> Pic related.

.. when you're exhausted with trying to get your code to work.

Cool. 300$ in Google Cloud credits. Maybe I can get to one of those cool projects I’ve been wanting to get to.
spins up server
installs npm
installs mongo
installs express
installs vue
installs material design components
makes title bar and navigation

*okay, good enough for now, i’ll come back later*

*never gets around to it, and 300$ in free credits get exhausted by server running 24/7*

> Root struggles with her ticket
> Boss struggles too
> Also: random thoughts about this job

I've been sick lately, and it's the kind of sick where I'm exhausted all day, every day (infuriatingly, except at night). While tired, I can't think, so I can't really work, but I'm during my probationary period at work, so I've still been doing my best -- which, honestly, is pretty shit right now.

My current project involves legal agreements, and changing agent authorization methods (written, telephone recording, or letting the user click a link). Each of these, and depending on the type of transaction, requires a different legal agreement. And the logic and structure surrounding these is intricate and confusing to follow. I've been struggling through this and the project's ever-expanding scope for weeks, and specifically the agreements logic for the past few days. I've felt embarrassed and guilty for making so little progress, and that (and a bunch of other things) are making me depressed.

Today, I finally gave up and asked my boss for help. We had an hour and a half call where we worked through it together (at 6pm...). Despite having written quite a bit of the code and tests, he was often saying things like "How is this not working? This doesn't make any sense." So I don't feel quite so bad now.

I knew the code was complex and sprawling and unintuitive, but seeing one of its authors struggling too was really cathartic.

On an unrelated note, I asked the most senior dev (a Macintosh Lisa dev) why everything was using strings instead of symbols (in Rails) since symbols are much faster. That got him looking into the benchmarks, and he found that symbols are about twice as fast (for his minimal test, anyway), and he suggested we switch to those. His word is gold; mine is ignorable. kind of annoying. but anyway, he further went into optimizing the lookup of a giant array of strings, and discovered bsearch. (it's a divide-and-conquer lookup). and here I am wondering why they didn't implement it that way to begin with. 🙄

I don't think I'm learning much here, except how to work with a "mature" codebase. To take a page from @Rutee07, I think "mature" here means the same as in porn: not something you ever want ot see or think about.

I mean, I'm learning other things, too, like how to delegate methods from one model to another, but I have yet to see why you would want to. Every use of it I've explored thus far has just complicated things, like delegating methods on a child of a 1:n relation to the parent. Which child? How does that work? No bloody clue! but it does, somehow, after I copy/pasted a bunch of esoteric legacy bs and fussed with it enough.

I feel like once I get a good grasp of the various payment wrappers, verification/anti-fraud integration, and per-business fraud rules I'll have learned most of what they can offer. Specifically those because I had written a baby version of them at a previous job (Hell), and was trying to architect exactly what this company already has built.

I like a few things about this company. I like my boss. I like the remote work. I like the code reviews. I like the pay. I like the office and some socializing twice a year.

But I don't like the codebase. at all. and I don't have any friends here. My boss is friendly, but he's not a friend. I feel like my last boss (both bosses) were, or could have been if I was more social. But here? I feel alone. I'm assigned work, and my boss is friendly when talking about work, but that's all he's there for. Out of the two female devs I work with, one basically just ignores me, and the other only ever talks about work in ways I can barely understand, and she's a little pushy, and just... really irritating. The "senior" devs (in quotes because they're honestly not amazing) just don't have time, which i understand. but at the same time... i don't have *anyone* to talk to. It really sucks.

I'm not happy here.
I miss my last job.

But the reason I left that one is because this job allows me to move and work remotely. I got a counter-offer from them exactly matching my current job, sans the code reviews. but we haven't moved yet. and if I leave and go back there without having moved, it'll look like i just abandoned them. and that's the last thing I want them to think.

So, I'm stuck here for awhile.
not that it's a bad thing, but i'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. and it's just not a good fit. but maybe I'll actually start learning things. and I suppose that's also why I took the job.

So, ever onward, I guess.
It would just be nice if I could take some of the happy along with me.

I'm exhausted and quite drunk so I just want to say I hope everyone in this cunt Irma's path stays safe. ❤️

That moment you leave the office for the last time in 2018.

FAWK YEAH!

What a year it’s been, from learning new platforms, to developing never ending changes, to breaking production at Christmas time, and finishing the year at the peak of purchasing period on a couple of websites with no reason to care what happens for several weeks all while absorbing extra projects from resigning co-workers.

*Turns on autopilot and walks the fuck out*

From one exhausted dev to the rest of you, enjoy the holiday break!

10 years of repeating cycles of the following:

#interview
them: yeah, this is a gamedev position, c#, unity, prototyping, maybe some hololens r&d

me: cool! exactly what i was looking for, as i said a few times, i can't do php anymore, it literally causes me literal deppression.

them: don't worry, we have people for thaz, but we have nobody for c# and unity, with some art skills feel as well as you do.

me: great, glad we're on the same page. i'm taking the job! <3

them: great! oh btw, there's this enterprise intranet app in php that needs some additions, can you please do them?

me: ... what did we talk about during my interview?

them: yeah, but it's just gonna be a short thing, don't worry.

me: ...well...ok, i think i can do that.

*3 to 6 months still on the same, or the next, php enterprise bullshit app. i'm totally exhausted in all ways possible, stressed literally permanently, dreading every day, every new ticket, every meeting every contact with everyone, not able to give a shit about what i do anymore, thinking about suicide*

them: you lazy incompetent fuckup, you're fired!

* i stop communicating and coming out of my room for anything else than toilet, and shopping. stop communicating with my friends, with anyone, anxiety and exhaustion caused by even the thought of talking to anyone about anything, or doing anything, is usually unbearable. i spend 3 to 8 months like this, just sleeping, drinking, watching youtube, sometimes playing games but even that "activity", or rather even the thought of that "activity" is often exhausting. after that time, i kind of recuperate emotionally and mentally, start looking for another unity+c# gamedev job, find it, apply,
goto #interview

Not a rant, just my thoughts :)
At November and October of last year I was very frustrated with everything - everything was annoying me and I was bored even with coding. I needed a break and do something different - go somewhere.

So we decided with friends that we will go to Georgia to spent there New Year Eve. Right now I'm coming back from airport by bus to my city aftertrip but can't sleep because I'm energized as fuck! Whole week without internet (sometimes we got open wifi to check buses or maps), without local sim card, without roaming, just our group and good attitude. We visited almost whole north of Georgia riding in taxis, marshrutka, even autostop, and it was fucking awesome.

So, when you are exhausted, take a break and regenerate your baterries, work is not everything! Just wanted to share this with you :) Can't wait to go to work in monday to write some code :) Life is beautiful!

On photo - my friend takes photo of Kazbek Mountain :)

(Written March 13th at 2am.)

This morning (yesterday), my computer decided not to boot again: it halts on "cannot find firmware rtl-whatever" every time. (it has booted just fine several times since removing the firmware.) I've had quite the ordeal today trying to fix it, and every freaking step along the way has thrown errors and/or required workarounds and a lot of research.

Let's make a list of everything that went wrong!

1) Live CD: 2yo had been playing with it, and lost it. Not easy to find, and super smudgy.

2) Unencrypt volume: Dolphin reports errors when decrypting the volume. Research reveals the Live CD doesn't incude the cryptsetup packages. First attempts at installing them mysteriously fail.

3) Break for Lunch: automatic powersaving features turned off the displays, and also killed my session.

4) Live CD redux: 25min phonecall from work! yay, more things added to my six-month backlog.

5) Mount encrypted volume: Dolphin doesn't know how, and neither do I. Research ensues. Missing LVM2 package; lvmetad connection failure ad nauseam; had to look up commands to unlock, clone, open, and mount encrypted Luks volume, and how to perform these actions on Debian instead of Ubuntu/Kali. This group of steps took four hours.

6) Chroot into mounted volume group: No DNS! Research reveals how to share the host's resolv with the chroot.

7) `# apt install firmware-realtek`: /boot/initrd.img does not exist. Cannot update.

8) Find and mount /boot, then reinstall firmware: Apt cannot write to its log (minor), listed three install warnings, and initially refused to write to /boot/initrd.img-[...]

9) Reboot!: Volume group not found. Cannot process volume group. Dropping to a shell! oh no..

(Not listed: much research, many repeated attempts with various changes.)

At this point it's been 9 hours. I'm exhausted and frustrated and running out of ideas, so I ask @perfectasshole for help.
He walks me through some debugging steps (most of which i've already done), and we both get frustrated because everything looks correct but isn't working.

10) Thirteenth coming of the Live CD: `update-initramfs -u` within chroot throws warnings about /etc/crypttab and fsck, but everything looks fine with both. Still won't boot. Editing grub config manually to use the new volume group name likewise produces no boots. Nothing is making sense.

11) Rename volume group: doubles -'s for whatever reason; Rebooting gives the same dreaded "dropping to a shell" result.

A huge thank-you to @perfectasshole for spending three hours fighting with this issue with me! I finally fixed it about half an hour after he went to bed.

After renaming the volume group to what it was originally, one of the three recovery modes managed to actually boot and load the volume. From there I was able to run `update-initramfs -u` from the system proper (which completed without issue) and was able to boot normally thereafter.

I've run updates and rebooted twice now.
After twelve+ hours... yay, I have my Debian back!

oof.

Gradle says it's exhausted. Well, SO AM I. Shut up and build my project, you pussy!

After 11 hours of non-stop coding and designing - I'm exhausted. Good night folks!

Yesterday way my one year devRant anniversary! It's been a good year guys and gals (and whatever genders are out here). I can't be bothered to look up rant counts etc right now because I'm in the middle of my exams and I'm fucking exhausted but a bit thanks to trogus and dfox for creating this awesome platform and also a big shoutout to all the awesome people I met through here and have good contact with :). Keep rocking, devs!

"we don't offer remote"

"oh so then there's work on the floor and with other members of the company?"

"no its mostly typing on a keyboard"

"so why the fuck is it not remote?"

"we are a boomer EU country, sorry"

so exhausted already and its only like the 3rd week of looking 😩😩😩

> Writing some code 😀
> Compile it
> 10 errors 😣😣
> Debugging mode on😎
> Write about 100 print statements to debug the code
> At last found errors and now remove those print statements😅
> Compile code
> 2 out of 30 test cases pass😤😤
> Exhausted and angry😡
> Silicon valley new episode arrives🎉
> Super excited after watching the episode and think like you too can code like Richard Henricks😎😎
> Coming back to the old code and build logic from scratch
> Compile and finally all test cases pass
> Task completed😂😂

A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).

I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.

I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.

As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.

Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.

Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.

"I strive for code quality and maintainability. I actually do. And i will not work for a company that does not care about it and just wants something done as fast as possible.
The only time i will do something quick and dirty is if it's actually urgent. And even then with one condition - my next task will be to fix it properly.

I do not care about your deadlines. I will do my best to meet them, but not at the expense of code quality. I've seen too many projects fall into technical debt, where productivity is so low, that the only way to move forward is hire more people and start working on a project 2.0

And please do not lie about how great your company is, if it's not. These kind of things surface very soon, and you will have wasted both of our time, because as i said - i will not work for a company that does not care about code quality."

you think i'll ever get a job again if i put this on my CV ? :D

I need to take a break..
I've been wotking on my game non-stop for the past 8 days from 7-10am to 11pm-2am..

But there are alot of problems in my current repo, and i have ALOT of code to re-rwite..

(also i'm the only dev x.x)

I went to bed early... Got a strange feeling the next morning... It felt like what other people describe as 'good'.

I bet they're exhausted of options

40 hour work week with a physically demanding job, full time bachelor's student, and web dev on the side. I'm exhausted all the time. I find myself migrating to my bed. "I'll read this chapter in bed".

Next thing I know I've been passed out on my book for three hours. Panic. Repeat.

Every year, my company organizes an internal seminar week for its engineers and developers. I helped plan it this year and, since I also ran a few sessions, was absolutely exhausted by the end of the week.

On Friday of that conference week (after I'd spent four hours in our engineering building), I come back to my desk to discover that a coworker managed to, single handedly, get our boss to agree to shortening our release cycle to one that, without dramatic infrastructure changes, would require about 8x the developer overhead than today's. ...The test cycle I am supposed to pick up in a month.

When asked about it, he said he was so full of energy, why wait for automaton? What better way to inspire us to improve than to switch right now? The worst that can happen is just a few bugs.

I love my job, but I can't stand this guy. 😒

Trying to get into better shape, for every bug I find I do 20 pushups or situps.
30 mins into debugging and i'm exhausted.

So how is your Friday?

Well let me tell ya, fixed a production issue and I'm totally exhausted and to top it off my girlfriend broke up with me.

I need a fucking drink!

Material-UI.

I'm exhausted, so I'll keep this short.

I changed a TextField to a TimePicker, and noticed my className prop didn't apply anymore.

I thought it was my mui/redux-form wrapper for that component since I had just written it, but that was basically a straight copy/paste from the other wrappers, and both receives and passes the prop just fine.

After a lot of fighting, I finally found a workaround: if I add a `data-work-you-piece-of-garbage` prop alongside it, only then will the className show up on the rendered element. Why? I have no freaking clue. I tested it three times and got the same results. I looked through the MUI source and it still doesn't make any sense.

Fucking whatever, only three hours wasted.

oh man... I just spent 12 hours in the zone and made what was originally meant to be made by 4 developers in close to two weeks(coding in free time)

Aaand I also drank too much coffee...

And I've done it in Node.js which I basically never used before :D ...I applied my coding standards and habits that I use when writing Java and it went like butter... ES2015 is pretty ok actually 😊

New HOE came. He “streamlined” the processes and “standardised” the policies. And in turn.. fucked up the whole startup feel of my company.

I saw it happening right in front of my eyes in a matter of only few months.

Earlier, things were flexible, work was fun, people were even ready to put in more hours because we were all having fun. Now, work feels like work, fun is gone, frustration has become normal, and the most frustrating part is that.. WFH is now a “privilege”.

Fuck this shit man! That fucker exhausted the whole company in just a few months. Given enough time, he will be the end of this company.

That awkward moment when your Girl needs you not as a friend but as a web dev because of a javascript bug in an online job portal that won't let you send your application because the hidden field auto fill crashes due to exhausted free requests to the Google maps API...

So, a few months ago I agreed to rewrite a previous employer's OAuth app -- paid work, ofc, if below my usual rate. It's a rewrite because the project is so deprecated and fragile that upgrading it is likely much more difficult.

however, I drastically overestimated how much free time I would have. I thought I could shave off an hour a day to spend on it, and get the project done in a few weeks. However, it turns out I barely have twenty minutes a day to myself, and it's only after I'm mentally exhausted from the day's efforts.

I don't think I'm capable of completing the project given the demands on my time -- even if it's relatively straightforward to do.

I don't want to tell them no, especially after waiting on me for this. but I don't think I have a choice.

I feel terrible.

Oh boy.

I've been partially on-loan to another team that's relatively new at the company for a couple of weeks now, mostly to help them get some testing sorted out, and had scheduled a call with their lead the other day. The call basically started like this:

Lead: Hi
sudo-woodo: Hey
Lead: Okay, so let's talk about <subject>, but I guess you've been told the news
sudo-woodo: What news
Lead: I'm putting in my notice

I love listening to seniors because they always drop some wisdom, but this was some serious wisdom. Guy sounded exhausted at everything, talking mad shit about the company and certain people and I'm just here like 🍿. Seems understandable, a lot of butting heads with the higher-ups and not being able to do his job properly.

Unfortunately we all kinda needed him to do his job because his job involved juggling fifteen different things that the project (and like 90% of my backlog to be honest) depends on.

shit's fucked 🙃

Windows 10 'App Store' Stole My Money.

So I work a 40 hour work week, sometimes more, same as anyone, on my feet, all day.

I get home, buy a little $3.99 app. Won't install. Check it again won't install. I check some guides. Follow all the standard commands, my purchase won't install. Use the tools. won't install.

Naturally I sent off what I'm good at, some hate filled invective

For fucks sake. I'm exhausted, have insomnia and want to wind down. And here microsoft is killing 32bit libraries to dispose of competing services like steam (also fuck gabe in his fat asshole) but I digress.

And they expect us to use their services? Spend our hard earned *fucking money*..and spend half an hour on their dumpster fire fucking 'walled garden' with nothing to fucking show for it?

No refund button. No chat option. Just a fucking feedback hub. Look at it some time. JUST LOOK AT IT. The motherfucking *feedback* hub *frozeup* in the process of my feedback. Microsoft is a sewer of negligent business practices and incompetence.

So I've chosen now to aim two heavy ion cannons at them and warned them too. Two twitter accounts, one with almost 10k followers and another with 15k.

Should have just offered a manual download button microsoft.

My money would have been better spent on alcohol. Cheap alcohol. It's not like it's a lot of money and I don't buy a lot online, but it's the principle. You're fucking *payment* process worked *just fucking fine*.

Anyway can anyone calculate the monetary damage a cumulative quarter million views over the course of a month will do to the reputation of the windows store in dollar amounts?

I'm betting it's going to be a lot fucking more than three fucking ninety nine.

Don't worry microsoft, I'm gonna take it out of your sweet fucking hide.

Fuck, I am really exhausted.
I am really burnt-out, I can't do this shit anymore.
Fuck this shit, here is my letter of resignation.
It is already signed, I won't do this shit anymore.
I will be jobless, but fuck this, I won't spend any more minute here.
*drop microphone*
The party is over.

Wth Windows !!! How can you start updating when I explicitly specified I am on a metered connection. Fucking exhausted my mobile data.

The reason people never leave a Linux distro is because they spent so much time setting it up their minds are just mentally exhausted to ever think of doing it again.

Please stop talking to me, please....... As an introvert, please shut up and stop taking to me, there's a reason I don't continue talking to you after answering your questions.... its exhausting already!!!!!!

Am I the only one who loved coding - I could spend hours and hours on my personal projects; but after I finally got a job, I'm just too exhausted from coding at work to do any coding at home? How did you overcome it?

Maybe I'm the weird co-worker ...

I can't deal with people I burn myself out socially.

I'm physically in my room right now keeping away from family for Xmas cause I'm So mentally exhausted with being polite and playing social games that I have to stay away!

I can't I just want to be on my own in my own corner of thr world for a bit.

!rant I don't understand how a lot of you guys can work 10-14 hours a day! I see a lot of those messages and it makes me wonder if I am a lazy dev or something. After 8 hours of working I'm just exhausted and wanting to go home to my family :/

I am much too tired to go into details, probably because I left the office at 11:15pm, but I finally finished a feature. It doesn't even sound like a particularly large or complicated feature. It sounds like a simple, 1-2 day feature until you look at it closely.

It took me an entire fucking week. and all the while I was coaching a junior dev who had just picked up Rails and was building something very similar.

It's the model, controller, and UI for creating a parent object along with 0-n child objects, with default children suggestions, a fancy ui including the ability to dynamically add/remove children via buttons. and have the entire happy family save nicely and atomically on the backend. Plus a detailed-but-simple listing for non-technicals including some absolutely nontrivial css acrobatics.

After getting about 90% of everything built and working and beautiful, I learned that Rails does quite a bit of this for you, through `accepts_nested_params_for :collection`. But that requires very specific form input namespacing, and building that out correctly is flipping difficult. It's not like I could find good examples anywhere, either. I looked for hours. I finally found a rails tutorial vide linked from a comment on a SO answer from five years ago, and mashed its oversimplified and dated examples with the newer documentation, and worked around the issues that of course arose from that disasterous paring.

like.
I needed to store a template of the child object markup somewhere, yeah? The video had me trying to store all of the markup in a `data-fields=" "` attrib. wth? I tried storing it as a string and injecting it into javascript, but that didn't work either. parsing errors! yay! good job, you two.

So I ended up storing the markup (rendered from a rails partial) in an html comment of all things, and pulling the markup out of the comment and gsubbing its IDs on document load. This has the annoying effect of preventing me from using html comments in that partial (not that i really use them anyway, but.)

Just.
Every step of the way on building this was another mountain climb.
* singular vs plural naming and routing, and named routes. and dealing with issues arising from existing incorrect pluralization.
* reverse polymorphic relation (child -> x parent)
* The testing suite is incompatible with the new rails6. There is no fix. None. I checked. Nope. Not happening.
* Rails6 randomly and constantly crashes and/or caches random things (including arbitrary code changes) in development mode (and only development mode) when working with multiple databases.
* nested form builders
* styling a fucking checkbox
* Making that checkbox (rather, its label and container div) into a sexy animated slider
* passing data and locals to and between partials
* misleading documentation
* building the partials to be self-contained and reusable
* coercing form builders into namespacing nested html inputs the way Rails expects
* input namespacing redux, now with nested form builders too!
* Figuring out how to generate markup for an empty child when I'm no longer rendering the children myself
* Figuring out where the fuck to put the blank child template markup so it's accessible, has the right namespacing, and is not submitted with everything else
* Figuring out how the fuck to read an html comment with JS
* nested strong params
* nested strong params
* nested fucking strong params
* caching parsed children's data on parent when the whole thing is bloody atomic.
* Converting datetimes from/to milliseconds on save/load
* CSS and bootstrap collisions
* CSS and bootstrap stupidity
* Reinventing the entire multi-child / nested params / atomic creating/updating/deleting feature on my own before discovering Rails can do that for you.

Just.
I am so glad it's working.
I don't even feel relieved. I just feel exhausted.

But it's done.
finally.

and it's done well. It's all self-contained and reusable, it's easy to read, has separate styling and reusable partials, etc. It's a two line copy/paste drop-in for any other model that needs it. Two lines and it just works, and even tells you if you screwed up.

I'm incredibly proud of everything that went into this.
But mostly I'm just incredibly tired.

Time for some well-deserved sleep.

Commit, push and here starts the weekend 👌😬😍

When you have to take a rest cause you're tired & exhausted after a day of coding..

..but your code is not done and you feel empty and you feel like a failure..

When You Write approx 1000 lines of code without save, and then kernal panic... I'm exhausted 😑

I'm exhausted.
After one and a half year after my last rant, I'm here again. I left the previous job as web developer after almost 12y. At the time I found 3 new jobs as developer; I chose the one with the largest company, the premises were really good. My 3 interviews were excellent. But what I found next was almost a nightmare.
I was literally "confined" for the first 2 months, no internet connection, no email address, very little communication with colleagues. My near colleague was sharing the code were I would work via a usb key. All this for "safety" purposes, because "here you start this way".
For me it was not so bad, I could take my time to study my work and do it (without Stack Overflow and only by reference guides, when needed - I felt proud in an old way). But the next months were really tough: no help to understand what I missed about the work I was doing (consider that I was working on a large database, previously used by an old ERP, on which other developers - prior me - wrote a lot of code, to make the company continue use all the data after the expiration of the ERP licences - speaking about a year 2000's Java application).
Now I find myself struggling, because the main project on which I was working has been set aside (apparently for some budget decisions); my work team constantly make me do some manteinance on the old code, but the main tasks are done by the old mate, "because deadlines are always pressing and there would not be enough time to explain you anything". I'm not growing.
I'm really becoming reluctant to write code, and whenever I do it, I constantly feel under pressure, and this makes me nervous and inclined to make errors.
Don't take me wrong, I was/am good at my work, but it's like I'm loosing that sparkle I had till a few years ago.
When I'm at home I try to study or write code, just to keep training my mind, but I'm really struggling and I'm worried about losing my brain for doing this job. I constantly forget things and lose focus.
Never felt this way. I am thinking about the chance to switch again and search for another company.

My interview,

Introduction round.
Basic information round.
General Aptitude test.

Technical round 1
Technical round 2

Telephonic round
Telephonic technical round

And now i asked them for the results of my interview.
They told me to arrange another FUCKING TECHNICAL ROUND.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
IT'S BEEN FUCKING 2 MONTHS SINCE I'M GIVING INTERVIEWS..

I'm literally exhausted. And it looks like they are completing their project for free.

Just blowing off steam with y'all. It will sound confused, but it's just all of my depressive thoughts mashed up in a rant.

So, here I am.

Surrounded by incompetent professors who are unable to point me in the right direction, that rarely even know what they are 'teaching'. In a moment of total loss, that has been lasting for months. Totally lost my motivation and my will to pursue a career in IT. All I do is game, eat, sleep, repeat. I am exhausted mentally. When I get back from school, I can't think of anything else but to relax and do nothing. I am frustrated. I care about becoming a programmer, but I can't find my inner strenght. School draws all of my strenght and willpower away from me, and therefore I get distracted very easily. I just do not know what to do anymore. I want to keep going, but I am stuck, unable to do so. "Perhaps this is just not for me" is what keeps resounding inside my head, but I do not truly believe it. I just wish that all of this stress would just disappear, and allow me to do what I care about. I need help to find the needed focus to continue.

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

Minutes away from Ludum Dare submission closing. Finalizing game build to upload and submit and I get this...!!!

FUCK!

I'm too exhausted to give a shit at this point. Guess I'm out. Still pretty happy with what I managed to make. Had a late start, first LD and I actually managed to make something I guess XD

I'm going to bed T_T

The time when work got you burnt out / exhausted?
Yes.

FML!
I spent $2500 on a paperweight.
AMD Threadripper 1950x
ASRock X399 Fatal1ty Professional Gaming Motherboard
Corsair 32GB DDR4 2666 MhZ RAM

Can't even power up beyond chassis lights
Beyond frustrated, exhausted

So recently I did a lot of research into the internals of Computers and CPUs.
And i'd like to share a result of mine.

First of all, take some time to look at the code down below. You see two assembler codes and two command lines.

The Assembler code is designed to test how the instructions "enter" and "leave" compare to manually doing what they are shortened to.

Enter and leave create a new Stackframe: this means, that they create a new temporary stack. The stack is where local variables are put to by the compiler. On the right side, you can see how I create my own stack by using

push rbp
mov rbp, rsp
sub rsp, 0

(I won't get into details behind why that works).

Okay. Why is this even relevant?
Well: there is the assumption that enter and leave are very slow. This is due to raw numbers:
In some paper I saw ( I couldn't find the link, i'm sorry), enter was said to use up 12 CPU cycles, while the manual stacking would require 3 (push + mov + sub => 1 + 1 + 1).

When I compile an empty function, I get pretty much what you'd expect just from the raw numbers of CPU cycles.

HOWEVER, then I add the dummy code in the middle:

mov eax, 123
add eax, 123543
mov ebx, 234
div ebx

and magically - both sides have the same result.

Why????

For one thing, there is CPU prefetching. This is the CPU loading in ram before its done executing the current instruction (this is how anti-debugger code works, btw. Might make another rant on that). Then there is the fact that the CPU usually starts work on the next instruction while the current instruction is processing IFF the register currently involved isnt involved in the next instruction (that would cause a lot of synchronisation problems). Now notice, that the CPU can't do any of that when manually entering and leaving. It can only start doing the mov eax, 1234 while performing the sub rsp, 0.

----------------

NOW: notice that the code on the right didn't take any precautions like making sure that the stack is big enough. If you sub too much stack at once, the stack will be exhausted, thats what we call a stack overflow. enter implements checks for that, and emits an interrupt if there is a SO (take this with a grain of salt, I couldn't find a resource backing this up). There are another type of checks I don't fully get (stack level checks) so I'd rather not make a fool of myself by writing about them.

Because of all those reasons I think that compilers should start using enter and leave again.

========

This post showed very well that bare numbers can often mislead.

Spent a month working on a website that relied on crawled data
Got the memory leaks and usage down from 700mb to ~150mb
CPU usage from ~100% to <5%
Shrink-wrapped the DB requirements based on data
Created self-supporting services and what not

When everything FINALLY worked good enough for me to look at it and go "damn, this actually worked"
the whole monitoring sys got dyed in red :v
A quick look up and my crawlers exhausted my godaddy's per-user db limits.

Kill me.
Just fuckin kill me.

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

You returned from your five-day vacation you spent in the mountains. You’re exhausted, but you feel awesome. After all, you climbed Mount Hood all alone, all by yourself.

As phones die in freezing conditions, you took pictures with your camera, that amazing views from the mountain peak, and everything on your way there.

You connect your camera to your PC. You open the pictures folder and realize the photos you took are gone. Instead, there are just five pictures.

Pictures of you. Sleeping in your tent.

Can confirm bitcoin uses a lot of energy, I have been reading bitcoin tweets all day and I'm exhausted

Yesterday I pulled 36 straight hours of coding compression algorithms. So help me god, I never want to look at another... Until I need to continue next week. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I am completely exhausted in every regard possible. Been working between 14 and 18 hours 7 days for about 3 months for a fucking stupid uni project. Amazingly, my phisical health has more or less kept up with that. The deadline is next friday and it looks like we're going to make it, but at this point I feel like an empty bag of flesh moving around. After the deadline I have 6 days to study for an extremely hard exam and I hate every single moment if this all. This morning I nearly cried just because I missed a bus that comes every 20 min. Please send endurance!!

I need today to be over yesterday. I'm exhausted and questioning my career choices. I need sleep to mask the pain 💀

Fuck Microsoft and the windows dev team! Fuck the person who thinks it's a bright idea to force users to download updates on their fucking insecure OS.
I live in a shitty substandard country where the cheapest mobile data plan is roughly $7.5 for 7.2gb for a month.
After several weeks of Windows auto downloading updates I don't need, I disabled the updates on several fronts using tutorials found online until yesterday, the fucking thing still found a way to download updates over 6gb, I didn't suspect a thing until I got notification that my data plan is exhausted and I immediately checked windows update and saw a fucking download meter of 76% downloaded. The data was suppose to last for 4-5 days, all gone within 3 hours span.

Fuck whoever thought it is a nice idea to force users to download shitty updates, leave me with the fucking old unstable version, if I get a malware I know how to find my way out you fucking goofs at microfuckingsoft!!

After a very busy week I’m enjoying my Friday evening with a nice glass of Tullamore, a few slices of my medium cooked housekeepers roast and some vintage-ish music videos on the projector.

Because of homeoffice I forgot how good it feels to be exhausted.

Enjoy your weekends everyone🥃

And don’t even think about commenting some shit about Lana, she’s a-fucking-mazing😬

That moment you've been dreading for a week, when you've exhausted every single resource you can in finding a solution and you've put it off way longer than you ever should have.

When you might have to ask on ...StackOverflow...

So you spend an hour agonizing over your post. You double check your google searches in case there is some info out there that you may have missed. You include code samples. You check your spelling and grammar and you any 'fluff' from your post.

Finally you hit submit and watch as nobody responds, but the downvotes just keep piling up... and damnit you have no idea why.

Okay, I'm interning at a government institution & boy let me just tell you... mmmh... A FUCKING MESS!

So I'm tasked with developing a HR system that the whole company should eventually use. I tell them I'm not familiar with the open source technologies they'd like me to use, they tell me no worries, you can develop a prototype with a tech stack that you're familiar with. Also, they tell me that they don't quite have the requirements from HR so what I can do for my prototype is just develop something "general" that works according to their "idea".

Being the good intern I am, I develop quite a good functioning prototype & present it to the team who then present it to the managers.

Finally we're all called in for a final meeting with the managers & HR, and guess what? The requirements for the system are different. Almost 90% of the features we built into the prototype need to change. Also, the system must use open source technologies. The managers promise to send a detailed requirements specification document, with sample data. I think this is a great idea as there's still a lot I don't understand. I expected this to happen, so I soon start to redesign afresh, this time trying as hard as possible to consider open source technologies within my plans.

But noooo... My team wants me to "finish" the system!

"Finish" what system, I ask? That was a prototype!

"Just tweak the functionality you built to meet the new requirements".

WTF!

We don't even have the actual requirements specification document, so I'll still be coding blindly. Also, the whole system needs to be re-built using open source technology!

Instead of pushing me to develop a system blindly, with no requirements, how about you push HR to tell you exactly what they need and how it should work first!?

I'm honestly exhausted with the false sense of urgency from my team!!

Really wanting to bail on all the meetings I have left this week... ☹️

Spent 2 hours arguing Kotlin vs Java with a friend. So damn exhausted right now! F🤬**

Urghhhhhhh Monday 🙄🙄🙄

Had my first vaccine yesterday ... today I'm a train wreck ... I hope your day is better.

Linker crashed while building LLVM from source AT FUCKING 97% ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
(Antergos , GCC 7)

The error was that it exhausted the memory. How the fuck does a system with 16GB RAM and a swapfile run out of memory while building something? Dayum.

I want to rant about my supervisor but I'm emotionally too exhausted to even put sentences together.

I quit this startup side job coz I was over worked and under paid for 3 years and I decided it wasn't worth the mental fatigue and anxiety. Plus I didn't feel like it added any value to my life other than stress. Gave them at least 2 months notice (since February effective April 30th) coz as the only server side engineer+team lead, I did ALOT. Now they brought this hot shot new CTO who wants me to basically rewrite the entire app before I go while maintaining the existing system and making sure everything functions smoothly (there is a ton I chose to optimise to make things easier for the new dev who they have not hired and I have 4 weeks to go) . The app was built in mongo db now he wants it in mysql. Can't believe ask me this after breaking my neck and falling in and out if depression for this job?!! I want to laugh and scream at the same time.

After an hour long discussion via call with someone and after over a year of working in web3. I can safely say the entire web3 is actually a sham. Im too tired and exhausted from scams and frauds to explain why. It is just a bunch of overhyped artificially inflated bullshit to lure you into the ponzi scheme. I am almost 100% sure with proof how this is all a lie. Web3 is equivalent to government and political corruption - just a bunch of EXTREMELY WEALTHY people ripping poor and middle class off by defrauding them through crypto and nfts to make the rich richer. Its truly disgusting. There is no way in HELL that you can work in this space and expect to succeed if you are not already wealthy. People apparently spend between $10,000 up to $500,000 on a single project for marketing. They spend it so easily as if they earn that sum of money back by tomorrow. This is truly sickening. The reason why marketing costs so much is because it manipulates naive and newbies, lures them into the web3 world by creating an illusion of get rich quick schemes "hey buy this jpg for $2000 and you'll be able to sell it for $20,000 in a week!" Truly truly sickening. Web3 isnt even a wild west. Web3 is a fucking dystopian void where these fucktards are like animals fighting each other who's gonna defraud a bigger chunk of thousands and millions of dollars from each other. Literal fucking shithole. I am so disappointed. I thought web3 technology was useful. Perhaps it is but people's greed has molded this technology into crime and frauds. Which is what it has become

Recruiter starts his mail with a question. "Are you really harcore?"

And I think to myself...

"No. I'm really exhausted."

I'm a web dev who decided to take a shot at mobile development (My first mobile app mind you). I'm writing a mobile app and one of it's features is communicating to my server via websockets.

So I write the code, click to send the data and my server doesn't receive it. Fuck. I check why. I log everything. Nothing.
I spend several of hours and I'm exhausted by this point so i call one of our mobile developers to help me. Turns out my emulator didn't have a WiFi module. FUCK.

Alright so I compile it to an apk and install it on my phone. I popped open a terminal and started my local node server.

I click on the mobile app...

NOTHING LOGS. FUUUUUUCK.

And this is the best part.
Apparently I deleted the console.dir call from my server that executed when it received some data from an emitter.

I only thought of this last night at 2am so I got up and checked. Yep. Kill me.

I've been a programmer for almost 19 years but I actually think the best code I've ever written is something that while it provides value to other people I'm the only one who actually uses it. In the company where I work we have major events that have to be supported by a number of different teams across about 5 time zones and each engineer has a limited set of roles that they can perform during the event. Anyway it was painful just watching people trying to create a schedule so I wrote something with Linear Programming to automatically generate the schedule. It ensures that people don't work for longer than 4 hours in a row, don't work from more than 8 hours from the first hour to the last hour on call, get 12 hours rest between engagements and the work load is evenly distributed across the team. Creating conditions in Linear Programming is weird, imagine trying to turn a series of linear equations into boolean logic, it can be done and once you can wrap your head around it it's really fun. It was my first time writing anything in it and I don't see it coming up a lot in my career. My favourite part of this project is that the end result was that engineers were less exhausted. I really hope that doesn't remain the best code I ever wrote, I don't think it will but it will require a conscious intention.

When I worked in a non-dev env, the best part was that I was done with work after working hours. I didn't stress out or even think about the issues. It was something for tomorrow or someone else to worry about. And so, I was not mentally exhausted and stressed out all the damn time.

So, I shall try to bring that mentality to my dev life too. With this new position I'm starting soon, I really want to do well for at least a few years. And that would need me to chill the fuck out. Particularly after work.

Prior to a tech conference in Las Vegas, the department manager held pre-meetings (yes, more than one)
with the developers to outline their expected behavior (yes, there was an outline in Word). Since
they would be representing the company, professionalism would be expected at all times, not just
during the conference. He knew he couldn’t forbid gambling and drinking, but any unruly behavior
that could reflect badly on the company would be dealt with severe disciplinary action up to and
including termination. He wrote up very detailed itinerary, what track each developer was
expected to attend, meal times (yes, what time to get up for breakfast, meet for lunch, and time
to eat at night). First day was fine, casinos are kinda crazy so having an itinerary wasn’t the
worst idea and no one got lost. Days following however, got interesting. After the first evening
meal, everyone hit the casino as expected (too much drinking, etc..normal single twenty-something
guys do) and the manager especially had a good time.
Next, and following days, the manager could not be found in any of the ‘required’ technical tracks.
Not that they cared that much, but couple of devs decided to check out the casino, and sure enough,
there he was at one of the tables, drunk, and being very loud around at 10 in the morning.
Again, nobody cared much, manager wasn’t very tech savy, and so attending a track on C #threading
would be lost on him. It was more of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind of thing.
The manager kept to the itinerary, he met everyone at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, etc, but the
‘WTF’s didn’t get good until the manager was bragging about how wonderful the conference was, how
much he was learning and couldn’t wait to get back and start implementing everything he was learning.
It was such a joke, the guys would bait him on tracks they know he didn’t attend and an amazing amount
of BS could not be believed.
On the last day of the conference several decided to follow him after breakfast to see where he went
and watched him go into a technical track, just to walk back out and straight to the casino floor.
Again, around 10, he was drunk, not quite as loud until he threw up in a trash can (they said it was quite a scene).
He left to go back his room, which they suspected he took a nap before meeting everyone for lunch.
After that, they gathered his daily itinerary was:
- Get up for breakfast
- walk around and make sure it looked like he was heading to a track
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat lunch
- walk around some more
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat dinner
- head to the casino
- wash-rinse-repeat
Last day caught up with him. After about week of drinking, staying up late, etc, his body (he’s in his mid 50’s, 350lbs+, so imagine)
kinda’ gave up. Could barely walk 50 feet without needing to sit down, and the flight back was worse for everyone,
throwing up occasionally, moaning, you get the idea.
On the following Monday with the VP if IT, everyone was discussing the conference, what they learned,
what they liked, etc, the manager also bragged, yes bragged, on how tired he was because of how much
he learned and the reason why he probably caught the flu (he couldn’t hide how sick he was on the flight)
saying “When you’re in the learning zone, you lose track of time and then you are so exhausted, your
immune system is susceptible to all kinds of things.” . VP was so impressed by his dedication and
fighting through the exhaustion for the good of the company, he gave him the rest of the day off.
Other devs? No, they had to go back to work.

The most recent one.
13 hr of video lectures in around 17hr + 5-6 hr of textual stuff for the test i had today. So around 19/24 hr
Freaking exhausted.

!dev

Out of shower, I sit on bed staring at my phone cuz I don't know who to talk to. This is the shittiest stage of the lockdown. When you've bore your close friends, exhausted your "I'm gonna find new friends online" options, and now you're -I am- circling back to remind yourself of all the people who put you aside. Just making yourself sadder remembering how each one of them shared a lot of their life and feelings with you and then how easily they went like "Nope. Don't want to deal with you". Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's everyone. Every friendship has a proper "distance" but I just don't know why some people are like asteroids. Or rather, their interests are. They come quick and crash your mental barriers and tell you everything there is to know about them but then something shinier catches their attention or they realize they actually won't be able to have you -me- as a sidepiece and then they just... Fuck off.
And I don't know, maybe they think I'll remember them as the one that got away, but sadly, they just become "another one" in a list that I can't remember past the last 5-6 of.

Anyways, I miss the days when I could sit next to a friend, or hug a friend, or just looking into someone's eyes from less than safe distant and seeing how the details of their face change as they speak, and how their emotions flow.

I'm tired of all the zoom and vc and...

I'm just tired. 😢

Maybe if you started actually fucking backing up your bullshit MONTHS ago when I told you your system was dying, or replaced it when I told you it was failing, you wouldn't have lost 6 fucking months worth of fucking work when it finally died today.

I setup a file backup system since you never had one, I gave you detailed instructions a fucking 40 year adult she be able to follow, I even offered to walk you through the process the first time after I set it up.

It shouldn't be my fucking problem you're too fucking stupid to listen to the tech person YOU fucking hired and lost data.
I was hired as a damn programmer, setting up the server wasn't in my job description, backing up emails because you refuse to pay for more GMail storage isn't in my job description, fucking 70% of what I've done this past fucking year working for you isn't in my job description.

Fucking hell, I'm fucking glad I'm working on leaving. The fucking employee shouldn't fucking care more than the damn owner. This place is not going to grow, and most of your employees are working on applying elsewhere because of your short-sightedness and petty bullshit drama you bring everywhere, everyday.

The week where you have so much to do on different projects, that even if you manage to work on all od them a bit it feels like nothing has been accomplished.
The point of being so tired that even the mildest sickness feels rediculously awful.

And it's friday. I manged to do some work for one of my bosses but the work I want to do didn't really get done and now I have two meetings in which I can say I started doing xyz but couldn't finish it due to bugs and exhaustion. And for the other project I wrote documentation.
Well.
T_T

Professionaly travelling the world sucks ass. It's loosing day and days on airports, railway stations, driving.... Then, completely exhausted, you must do your high-end job on command for a customer who already hates you from the moment you came in, because he knows your hourly rate.They do not realize it's the companies rate, not my wage. And when it's finished and running, it's considered normal...no need for a "thank you". Getting really tired of this shit :/

My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.

For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.

Hello all, I was wondering how some of you guys manage stress on the job? I recently got a new "real" job as a lead php dev working 9-5 in down town Houston. I must say, this "normal" work schedule is kicking my ass. I'm constantly exhausted, stressed out and am now having second thoughts about the position. What should I do?

I'm so sick of being the only developer to have the courage to stand up, shout, argue and put a stop to incredibly poor, short-sighted and uninformed, company-damaging decisions made by managment.

You know you might need a vacation/take PTO when the sales associate at Target says “damn girl you look tired” (and you do because you stayed up until 4 am coding trying to figure how to get videos to display on full screen on click [and after realizing that iOS doesn’t recognize the fullscreen API]) .

3 straight days with less than 3 hours of sleep per night. If something or someone wakes me in the first fifteen minutes as I'm drifting off, that's it, my wired for however long.

Previous two nights I just barely slept at all. Last night got awakened twice as I was drifting off. To start with, its ettypre for me to be able to fall asleep at all a second time.

Last three nights I'm not actually sure I even slept. I blinked and it was morning and I woke up exhausted. Only thing I can remember is racing thoughts, as I fell asleep, and the very same exact thoughts *as* I woke up, as if my brain had been thinking the same thing on a loop for a few hours, while I was catatonic and unable to fully shut down, stuck in 'on' mode all night and not realizing it.

Not a single fucking job I work honor's their god damn promises, let alone my repeated requests for night shift.

Was so exhausted yesterday my chest hurt.

How am I supposed to drive to work on less than 9 hours asleep spread out across three days? Cant catch a fuckong break lately, and when I do it's like the universe fucking sabotages me with shit like this.

This new job has more work than I can possibly complete in a day, week, or month. Deadlines pile up and I’m thoroughly exhausted all weekend. My mind feels lethargic and dull. People around me seem to be getting stuff done and I feel like I’m making too many mistakes and holding everyone back. Not sure I can stick with this job for the long haul to retirement. But freelancing absolutely sucks because nobody wants to pay you enough to feed yourself and it doesn’t scale to a full time salary for me. I simply don’t have the mental capacity to do the equivalent of four peoples’ jobs to design, code, QA, launch, and do all the digital marketing, advertising, writing, and maintenance for enough sites to make up my salary.

So, depression, yeah?

Two good days of work in a row, and on the third, I sleep late and think during sleep and throughout the night, wake up tired and feel shitty and feel a crash-burn in my feelings. (or whatever you want to call it. Burnt out? Tired? Exhausted? Lonely?) So now I have the rest the optimizing sql bullshit project and a paper to finish, plus I need to work more on the thesis. And ofc, work itself.

Everything feels so gloomy.
I know it gets better, but feeling shit doesn't help either.
Anyways, I'm fishing for attention this time so gimme your good vibes! 🙂

First time back to work today after a month long break. It was soul crushing. I don’t know if I’m permanently burnt out or just seriously disenfranchised with the corporate world but I would have thought after a holiday I would be energised and ready to go. It turns out after coming back to work I feel exactly the fucking same! Tired, exhausted, discontent, irritable and most importantly BORED. I am bored spending 8+ hours a day at a computer chair responding to emails and teams messages! Has anyone felt like this before? Did you ever overcome it? I’m worried as I’m getting older I’m losing my love more and more for programming whilst simultaneously hating the concept of work more and more.

OMFG I'm exhausted from the workload this last week, but everything is due this week and I'm totally ruined because everything is half done. Just murder me in my sleep please.

I’ve spent 2 weeks trying to simply automate logging into my damn school’s blackboard but this ducking popup won’t freaking let me access it. I’ve tried selenium. I’ve used beautifulsoup and requests. I’ve even tried a tool called mechanize with python
But I’ve now realized I simply have no damn idea what I’m doing. I’ve read and tried way too many stack overflow articles and I’m just sick of this damn popup

If I can’t figure it out by the end of the upcoming thanksgiving break I’m dropping this damn project until I learn enough to utilize the blackboard API’s. I’m a little sure those will help

Is it normal to feel exhausted after an all-day on-site?

I probably should learn how to take vacations more often, not only when I feel mentally exhausted souch that I can't really do anything

That I'm Not working on my personal projects after university or work and beeing to lazy to even start learning a new language.

I’m tired of being put in positions where design gives me a rough mock-up a week (or less) before its launch day. It’s frustrating and I’m tired.

After demoing a PoC of a new approach in our flagship product the CEO begged me to shoehorn it into the product. Complete do-over of the core architecture of our product. Spent two weeks basically living at work. Two weeks of pouring everything I had to deliver. Beaten, battered, bruised, I got the impossible done. As I'm walking out to go home to my family Friday afternoon, visibly exhausted and frazzled, the project manager calls me into her office. "Oh no" I thought. With a straight face, she proceeds to inform me some meaningless text wasn't the right color. I stared at her a second, shook my head in disbelief and went home.

As developers/architects we move mountains and perform miracles, but it's the color of the text that _really_ matters.

When you want to resign to your full time job but you are having difficulty on making decision.

Reasons to resign:
1. They are giving tasks that are not related to web development such as data entry.

2. I can't see a good future ahead on this company. It feels like it doesn't have a goal to grow. The boss is not focusing on this line and instead she is focusing on her other businesses. The boss also has admitted that she can only give 20% of her time. We don't have new projects and challenging tasks.

3. 4 months have been passed and still we haven't receive the yearly salary increase. It should be effected on February.

Reasons to stay:
1. No salary deduction if you are late or didn't complete 9 hours / day. Sometimes I just work for 7 or 8 hours a day.

2. Office is just 30 mins away from my house.

3. When I don't have a task, I usually do my freelance project at the office secretly. So even though there are no challenging tasks at the office, my freelance project helps a lot.

4. You can play games with your friends when you feel exhausted or you don't have assigned tasks.

I recently received an offer from my remote part-time job to work full time 8-10 hours a day and the salary is twice higher compare to current one.

So I had been developing a real estate website and developing a MLS feed parser. I had only 1 year experience at that time and parsing a XML feed was already complex enough. On top of it, the client wanted to automate feed download from the MLS provider through HTTP authentication. Managed to do it. Everything worked for 15 days and on 16th day the property location markers stopped appearing on Google maps. Turned out that address to lat-long reverse geocoding was failing because API limit exhausted. My bad, I coded it on view instead of caching the lat-long in database. Fixed it in a day and viola!

Okey, so the recruiters are getting smarter, I just clicked how well do you know WordPress quiz (I know it's from a recruiter, already entered a php quiz An might win a drone)

So the question is how to solve this issue:

Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 33554432 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 2348617 bytes) in /home4/xxx/public_html/wp-includes/plugin.php on line xxx

A set memory limit to 256
B set memory limit to Max
C set memory limit to 256 in htaccess
D restart server

These all seem like bad answers to me.

I vote E don't use the plug-in, or the answer that trumps the rest, F don't use WordPress

I think I'm getting burnt out.

I've been constantly exhausted lately, making little to no progress at work. Eve simple tasks that I was able to do months ago are giving me trouble, but I hardly care anymore.

Today, my boss told me he "wanted to see some progress" on one of the projects I'm working on (fair since I've been extremely slow here). Unfortunately I'm just more stressed now which makes it even harder to do anything.

I feel like I'm spiralling. I'm not productive lately so I get stressed about missing deadlines, which stresses me out and makes me less productive...

I'm ready to just quit honestly, but not sure I'd be able to find as good a job anywhere else

I am in a situation where I am tired to give suggestions or implement any improvements to the company's app. I am in a situation where I will just do as told, nothing more, nothing less.

Regardless of how many suggestions or improvements I had made, the boss is constantly sceptically asking for "BLACK AND WHITE " proof. Sometimes, something does not require proof but cause and effect. As the application constantly prompts a DataType issue, which is a common bug in this app! I declare datatype the issue went away.

I wonder how this application can go further when they declare every variable as `var`, not using `const` for constant value, and redundant methods everywhere, most methods are not specific (in dart when you do not specify the method, the method become `dynamic`), a long list of nested if-else for something can be easily solved with switch case, etc.

So, today, right now, I will revert every improvement, and keep the original structure. If anything goes wrong, I know why it happens (deep down I will say "I told you so"). I am here to work for food, not to reinvent the wheel.

I'm so exhausted to the point where I will just go along and tell my co-worker "as you wish"

No more me suggesting.
No more me giving ideas.
No more me pointing the mistakes .

I will let them find out themselves is much better than I say it, just to prevent getting unnecessary hatred from them.

The best punishment to give somebody is to never mention their mistake let their ego do the job of consuming them into ignorance and asleep, and never wake them up. Let them commit the same mistakes repetitively until them realised there's no way to revert.

Guys should I quit my CURRENT job ? I feel like I should find another job because of the following reasons

a. I suck. I know I can't complete the task given. The task given is to build a trading bot. I can't complete it because of my incompetent trading knowledge and i find it difficult to understand trading logic and I tried my level best even paying someone to private tutor me but the tuition fees are too high and I still don't understand. Btw I am from a web development background

b. It has been 3 months in this company. I feel like I am not doing anything. I feel like a loser who has been eating free salary without contributing anything. Sure I have managed to write few strategies on pinescript.

c. I dread everyday to even do anything. I use to feel accomplished in my previous job. Nowadays I cant hope to feel like a complete idiot.

d. I don't have the motivation or fire that I use to have when I was a web developer. I just hate looking at code nowadays.

e. Algo Trading is too difficult for me. I don't feel like I am progressing anywhere.

f. Nobody in my company knows how to build a bot or have any knowledge on this.

g. Python dataframes , plots, charts bores me to death and I am really no interested to even look at it.

I am just so frustrated as I am typing this and I am becoming tired and exhausted to go to work everyday because everyday I am so clueless on what to do. You need at least some idea where to go to but I don't. Everyday I feel like a complete clueless moron.

!dev

Was exhausted yesterday so was in bed by 9.00pm, asleep by 9.30pm...

NOW WIDE AWAKE SINCE 1AM! FUUUUUCK!!!

Once I was totally exhausted and fatigued doing code...

Then i had cappuccino....

The next thing i saw was my complete project.

It's been two months since I've left my previous job, after 1.5 years. I never had the feeling my boss trusted his dev team, since he was checking up on us regularly, even though we had planned out a sprint and work for us was "clear". I say "clear", because every single feature on this project was pretty much half-baked, since they were just ideas our boss/PO (same person) on the spot and were labeled as "the next big thing" without every properly writing them out as user stories. Every demo came with a bunch of criticism, because features weren't implemented "as he imagined", because what do you know, the user stories weren't properly described anyway. Bringing that up as counter-argument also made him angry every time, so that didn't help much either. The launch of the platform was also postponed every time because of vague reasons, so that didn't make the project any more interesting either.
It took a while before I got sick of this of this pretty hopeless situation and toxic environment. Mind you, it was my first job since I graduated, so I was a bit naive thinking the working environment would improve and aforementioned company issues would be resolved over time. Eventually, I ran out of patience and motivation, so I finally bit the bullet and handed in my resignation letter.
From that moment, I at least had an end in sight, since I was still obliged to do my four-week notice period, which felt like an eternity. The borderline childish and sociopathic behaviour of my boss didn't make it any better (e.g. checking up on me even more, more mistrust, randomly accusing me of ruining the working atmosphere because I shared a meme with a colleague of mine and didn't involve him, going lunching with all of my colleagues but explicitly asking me to stay at work, ...). Being forced to work from home the last 2 weeks as part of the country's lockdown measures at least helped my sanity a bit, since I had the comfort of my home office and not the frequent "looking over your shoulders to check if you're still working".
By the last day of my notice period, I was bitter, exhausted, lost confidence in my skills and had completely lost my joy of being a developer. I had to physically meet with my boss one more time to hand in the company laptop. He thanked me for my service and said that we'd keep in touch. I hope I won't keep that promise (he made a lot of false promises before, too), because I'd rather never encounter him ever again. It felt like a huge relief to finally close the door of this bad experience behind me for good.

Now, 2 months later, I've got a new job and rediscovered my joy for coding, mostly thanks to the complete opposite of a toxic environment here, management which actually has respect and faith in me and a challenging but fun project. My mental state has made a complete turnaround compared to two months ago. I have absolutely no regrets of switching jobs. If only I had made that decision sooner.

Worked 6 hours straight without a break today. Completely exhausted😌, but the level of satisfaction out of the world!😊

I'm a developer, member of the A-Team. Actually I'm the leader of the A-Team.

We are incredibly skilled. Our problem solving capabilities is amazing, almost 100 times more effective than the rest of people. We produce code 10 times faster and better than anybody else. We have THE knowledge.

We can save the company in case of emergency.

For that reason, it's of paramount importance to nurture and protect the A-Team.

- When there is a bug, A-Team will not correct it. Because, if A-Team is busy, and bad shit happens, the company could be destroyed and we couldn't help

- When there is some important features to develop with a deadline, A-Team will not participate: A-Team must stay alert and ready in case of emergency

- If huge catastrophe happens and long hours, night and weekend are needed to fix it, A-Team will not risk burning the A-Team because it's the only high skilled team we have. The company cannot afford to have an A-Team member exhausted, underpaid, unhappy leaving or sleepy. Therefore, the company will sacrifice other less important people.

A-Team is company biggest asset and must be protected in any kind of situations.
The company should also pay training for them in order to increase their skills and make them unreplaceable.

These are my conditions. I'm the leader of the A-Team. You can't afford to loose me.

I just want to do nothing. Be a cat: eat and sleep as much as I physically can. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted and basically have no desire to do anything anymore.

Fuck everything.

The only thing which prevents me from doing that is some leftovers if common sense which tell me that it's unwise to abandon everything when you've left only 3 weeks to do shit and then it's not your problem anymore.

But even this sense cannot disarm an overwhelming procrastination.

And people. Fuck people. Only a very small minority is actually tolerable.

Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

Online school has left me completely exhausted and unmotivated

My current job makes me want to question my life choices.
Its a complete burnout.
I do 9 to 6 never 6 though its always 7 or 730 come home exhausted, and still on almost all days need to attend to customers after hours. Customer meeting at 8.30pm are quite consistent occuring. Being a developer, debugging meetings I can understand to a certain extent, but why the f i am preparing quotes and pitching products.
Want to prep for new job boom no time left to do so other than weekends.

I'm so exhausted lately ... Anybody know workaround / bugfix?

Our team (devs and QAs) have been doing a series of overtime work.

So, the company has provided us a place to sleep. Everyday, we would go to work at 10AM and then return to our place to rest at 12 midnight (sometimes at 2AM).

We've been doing this for a week now and we'll resume again tomorrow.

I already feel exhausted, and I was thinking of resigning after all of this mess was over.

However, I am having second thoughts. Since this is my first job, I have no point of comparison.

Perhaps a series of overtime like this one is normal? Is this type of work environment to be expected when being a developer? Or am I selling my self short and there are better options out there? What do you devs think?

i wonder what happened to the bright eyed 18 year old version of me that had perfect grades and was on top of her shit. nowadays i can barely feed myself without feeling exhausted and I can't read a book to save my life

Some marketing people function on a whole 'nother level. They write internally in the same way they write to represent the company externally, using all the bullshit-laden buzzwords, using exclamation marks all over to convey fake enthusiasm. I wonder if they feel exhausted after doing this for a whole day. I know I would. But I suppose if it helps them perform better, well, let them do it, I guess.

Over the summer I was recruited to be a supplement instructor for a data structures course. As a result of that I was asked (separately by the professor) to be a grader for the course. Because of pay limitations I've mostly been grading homework project assignments. In any case, it's a great job to get my foot into the department and get recognized.

Over the course of the semester I've had this one person, OSX, named after their operating system of choice, who has been giving me awkward submissions. On the first assignment they asked the professor for extra time for some reason or the other, and that's perfectly fine.

So I finally receive OSX's submission, and it's a .py file as per course of the course. So I pop up a terminal in the working directory and type "python OSX_hw1.py". Get some error spit out about the file not being the right encoding. I know that I can tell python to read it in a different encoding, so I open it up in a text editor. To my surprise it's totally not a text file, but rather a .zip file!

I've seen weirder things done before, so no big deal. I rename the file extension, and open it up to extract the files when I see that there's no python files. "Okay, what's goin on here OSX..." I think to myself.

Poking around in the files it appears to be some sort of meta-data. To what, I had no clue, but what I did find was picture files containing what appeared to be some auto-generated screenshots of incomplete code. Since I'm one to give people the benefit of doubt even when they've long exhausted other peoples', I thought that it must be some fluke, and emailed OSX along with the professor detailing my issue.

I got back a rather standard reply, one of which was so un-notable I could not remember it if my life depended on it. However, that also meant I didn't have to worry about that anymore. Which when you're juggling 50 bazillion things is quite a relief. Tragically, this relief was short lived with the introduction of assignment 2.

Assignment 2 comes around, and I get the same type of submission from OSX. At this time I also notice that all their submissions are *very* close to the due time of 11:59pm (which I don't care about as long as it's in before people start waking up the next morning). I email OSX and the professor again, and receive a similar response. I also get an email from OSX worried about points being deducted. I reply, "No issue. You know what's wrong. Go and submit the right file on $CentralGradingCenter. Just submit over your old assignment".

To my frustration OSX claimed to not know how to do this. I write up a quick response explaining the process, and email it. In response OSX then asks if I can show them if they comes to my supplemental lesson. I tell OSX that if they are the only person, sure, otherwise no because it would not be a fair use of time to the other students.

OSX ends up showing up before anyone else, so I guide them through the process. It's pretty easy, so I'm surprised that they were having issues. Another person then shows up, so I go through relevant material and ask them if they have any questions about recent material in class. That said, afterwards OSX was being somewhat awkward and pushy trying to shake my hand a lot to the point of making me uncomfortable and telling them that there's no reason to be so formal.

Despite that chat, I still did not see a resubmission of either of those two assignments, and assignment 3 began to show it's head. Obviously, this time, as one might expect after all those conversations, I get another broken submission in the same format. Finally pissed off, I document exactly how everything looks on my end, how the file fails to run, how it's actually a zip file, etc, all with screenshots. That then gets emailed to the professor and OSX.

In response, I get an email from OSX panicking asking me how to submit it right, etc, etc. However, they also removed the professor from the CC field. In response I state that I do not know how to use whatever editor they are using, and that they should refer to the documentation in order to get a proper runnable file. I also re-CC the professor, making sure OSX's email to me is included in my reply.

OSX then shows up for one of my lessons, and since no one had shown up yet, I reiterate through what I had sent in the email. OSX's response was astonished that they could ever screw up that bad, but also admits that they had yet to install python(!!!). Obviously, the next thing that comes from my mouth is asking OSX how they write their code. Their response was that they use a website that lets them run python code.

At this point I'm honestly baffled and explain that a lot of websites like those can have limitations which might make code run differently then it should (maybe it's a simple interpreter written on JavaScript, or maybe it is real python, but how are you supposed to do file I/O?) .

After that I finally get a submission for assignment 1!

Cross time-zone design reviews are brutal! Feeling super exhausted, explaining shit I designed feels like torture! I mean, just get it!

TL;DR: TIL for heavy queries use PDO and not some frameworks DB class

ffs I was trying to save 300k+ lines at once with Laravel for weeks. Mind you from a text file. 1gb ram on the vps so while trying to prepare the text to save: Fatal Error: Allowed Memory Size of bla bla Bytes Exhausted

ok so lets put it in a loop: Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded (set_time_limit(0); lol)

optimising, varying the code got me into a situation when the content got saved in the BD but inconsistent (duplicates) and the table had often more than 1,5M rows. That was what told me its not a performance issue, my code is the issue. (dah)

I was starting to think it would be easier to export a prepared query to a sql file and load the file into the db as thats the fastest possible option...I even started to think about switching to python, then it hit me, Laravel has a shitload of routes to the DB so I switched to PDO

benchmark on 1vCPU, 1GB RAM VPS with SSD
379k lines with 11 columns in less than 10 sec with a loop of saving every ~6000 rows (if i tried choking it to save the whole thing at once it went up to 16-17sec)

How do you deal with a developer that constantly challenges your propositions in a rhetorical matter?

For example, say if we have a problem and I propose solution A (along with my reasons why), the developer would then shoot it down - not with another alternative solution or exploration path but instead a rhetorical question.

It has gotten *exhausting* working with this person because every interaction becomes almost a debate. This isn’t just particularly with development but even during casual discussions.

I’ve even tried asking “so what would you suggest?” in which they would answer with confidence in a rhetorical matter - but without any concrete decision making (but at the same time sounding like they did make one).

We work in a team and nobody has taken the reigns of leadership (he’s quiet most meetings), so I decided to take initiative and make the calls. All of a sudden, he has a voice that is mostly axed towards being argumentative than productive. It has come to a point where I’ve just stopped making propositions because I’ve become exhausted trying to defend myself and literally repeating something like 4-5 times, however this is a project that needs to be delivered and because we work closely together, I can’t just ignore him and do my own thing.

Reasons to NOT be a dev sounds rather negative so I'd like to propose 3 things that you need to BE a dev as to frame it in a positive light:

- When a problem peaks your interest you want to solve it, you may even be obsessed by it.
- You enjoy learning, not necessarily enjoy school, just enjoy learning new things (even better if it's by your own means)
- Failure may get you down, but you learn and don't give up until you have exhausted all paths to success.

You may need other skills like math, logic and reasoning abilities, being able to handle deadlines, attention to detail, and cope with stress. I've seen people being crap at all of those and if they have the former 3 they, in time, will hone the others enough to make them a productive dev.

No need to be a 9-9-6 code monkey willing to be squeezed by Big Corp for massive profits and a low salary or a 1337 purist coder that only focuses on the crafting side of developing software. That may make you a great coder but not a well rounded developer or individual. Remember, you program machines but you are NOT one.

Junior dev here. Finishing a boot camp, actively going through a few job application processes.
One of the companies has given me a tech assignment (for a Graduate Junior position, mind you) that was titled Full Stack Mid Level Challenge. It took me a week to build an app they asked and do analitycs and refactoring of the second part of the task (I only had late evenings free to dedicate to that), it was my first time doing back-end in Node (my boot camp teaches PHP) so I basically learned to do it while doing this challenge.
They asked testing and clean architecture.
I submitted the assignment (I thought I would die while doing it, exhausted, I think I was brain dead for a short perio of time, but I submitted it on time).
They got back to me and we had already have a tech interview with the Leads that had live coding at the end. Don't have feedback yet, really won't be surprised for whatever comes, it was literarly my first interview, treating it like a valuable learning experience.

But. This rant is not about this. Thsi is just to put you in my mood.

This is the !rant:

My classmate from the bootcamp is probably already hired, or will be one of these days. As a tech challenge she was asked to do FizzBuzz kata. I repeat, FizzBuzz bloody kata!
Now, I am very happy for this person, the situation is complicated and this job is extremely needed.

But, please, explain to me, HOW??? How is it possible that selection criterias vary that much?

End of rant. Thank you very much.

My thumb hurts / is exhausted from lots of typing (phone) and writing (school). Any tipps besides seeing a doctor? (I will if this bug isn't fixed 'till friday or so)

Be exhausted in the middle of the day and almost fell asleep while being in the office. Be tired around 20, finally feel sleep after 2h and sleeping pills. Wake up at 3, struggle till 6 when you feel asleep again, at 8 alarm clock wakes you up telling you should be leaving for work :/
Reducing coffee intake was a horrible idea.

Hi, everyone!

I was struggling to write this rant (it's been a while since I've posted anything here) and was trying to put in enough details, but it was getting too long and heavy, so I thought I should try to keep it concise.
I get frequent headaches and feel physically and mentally exhausted all the time. Here's a little list of what I think lead to all this -
- Leading a team for the first time
- Not-so-great junior teammates
- Working with backend for the first time (doing it on top of my frontend work)
- Long working hours (unpaid overtime)
- Being underpaid (for all the things I now have to do)
So, I overworked myself (and still fell short in delivering my sprint goals) and after some time, considering all of the above things, I decided that the best course of action would be to give my notice and take a break for a month or two.

I talked to my boss about my struggles and my intention to leave, and after some discussion, he basically said that the difficult part of the project was over and things would get smoother from the next sprint, and so I should stay on and discuss on the matter again after the sprint. That sprint has passed now and I have still somewhat struggled to work each day with diminishing motivation.
I'm not sure if this is the right time to leave, and I just don't have enough energy to look for another job and go for interviews. So, I guess it is a bit of risk not having something lined up before I quit my (first ever) job, but I think I shouldn't have much difficulty finding something for myself.
At this moment, I don't know what to do, but maybe, if things continue to be dour, I may hand in my notice soon.

What a week!!

Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.

Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted.

try {
thesis.defend();
} catch(TimeoutException reached) {
thesis.attack();
throw new Thesis aimedAt(theProfessorsFaces);
}

Everyday strugle.
Go to work, go home all motivated like: oh once I'm home I can do this and that to finish my work, and it's fun and interesting. Or I vould study, or clean up, I'm totally gonna do something usefull!
*once home*
Ohhhh look league of legends! Or bed! I'm too exhausted to do anything usefull. Better chill.
...
Anyone else?
Anyone got advice for how to combat this? T_T

The best happened today.

These past 2 weeks have been shit. People wronged me big time, got thrown under the bus for shit that the people behind refused to own up to it. Took that shit because I just couldn't be bothered to fucking argue.

I'm the only dev on this project and we're so close to release so I bit my tongue and took it on the chin but it's been eating me alive since then.

The tipping point was yesterday. 5 people failed to communicate shit properly amongst themselves on all channels got me forced to be the last one finishing work yesterday 4 hours after everyone left. I had every right to refuse and leave on time but again, we're so close to release and I don't want to see this project fail.

But see, I got angry. So fucking angry that nothing else has been on my mind since yesterday.

I don't take out my anger at others, that's not who I am (moslty) so today I was at work and secluded myself from everyone else otherwise I would've exploded in someone's face.

I was also supposed to meet up with friends tonight but with all this shit going on I decided not to go because I would not have been fun to be around.

Left work on time today, fell asleep on the train because I am too exhausted.

When I was about to walk into my house I noticed this little super cute puppy following me. I had no idea where or how long he's been behind me as I was walking home but he seemed way too happy when I saw him. His tail wagging like he's excited to see me even though I have never seen him. I petted him, played a bit with him. He seemed to be the happiest dog ever 😁. He managed to put a smile on my face for the first time in the last few days.

He then ran away.. I guess he got bored 😅

I am feeling so much better now all because of this little puppy 🐶. I'm so glad I ran into him because I've been smiling since then.

I wish I had took a picture of him 😥

Doggo, you probably won't read this, but thanks mate you made my month in those few minutes 🤘

If you have a dog, go pet him and appreciate how much happiness they bring in your life. If you have a cat.. Uhh I don't know... Uhh pray it doesn't kill you in your sleep I guess?

Thanks for reading

Work so hard that you're too mentally exhausted to even think about how your life could be better or more enjoyable.

Spent 4 hours today, talking to 7 different people on the phone. All were interviews. There were even 2 where i called the hr and 20 minutes later the ceo/architect whatever called me to get the phone interview done fast. Im really fuckin exhausted.

So I’m working on this project I’ve been working on for like 3 weeks and I finally got this feature to work but it had a bug and I shit you not fighting this program was like playing through bloodborne for the first time again. It got to the point where I started naming the testing files swear words or stuff like “itshopeless”, “maybe”, “maybe2”, “pls”, etc but I finally after fucking hours passed, bug slaughtered. And I’m now exhausted

Recruiter from last week told me she will contact me next week with further HR interviews

No contact for the whole week until right now

---

RECRUITER: Hello, colleagues from ShitStain company have provided feedback, and unfortunately, they won't be proceeding with the further process. They mentioned they need someone with more experience and asked me to thank you for your patience and interest. Personally, I've had only positive experiences from our conversation, so if a similar position opens up with another client in the future, I'll be free to reach out to you. I hope we have the opportunity to collaborate again.

ME: Thank you for the response. If me having 5+ years of experience is not enough for them, what exactly are they looking for? I'd like to know more about what they think I'm missing, and if it's indeed a gap, I'll work on improving that aspect.

RECRUITER: Your experience is certainly valuable to offer employers. However, for this position, they specifically need experience in Java, and they're looking for someone who has been focused on that technology for 5+ years. I believe new opportunities will arise soon that I can offer you if you're still interested in making a change. 😊

---

Is she FUCKING STUPID?

I JUST SAID i have 5+ years of experience and she rejects me because they need someone with 5+ years of experience????? (we're both talking about the same thing -- java)

Even if someone has 5+ years of experience THAT IS NOT ENOUGH? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME 96+ YEARS OF EXPERIENCE?

Are you Fucking mental?

Am i being fucking gaslighted right now?

Can you fucking believe what kind of retards contact me?

NO ONE even gives a SHIT about the fact that i have a computer science degree from a VERY hard university?

My 5+ years of experience and 25+ years of school is worth between $0 and $500 ?????

I am disgusted

I am absolutely tired and exhausted from interviews

Today, I have installed/uninstalled a combination of [windows 7, arch linux, dual-boot] a total of 9 times...

I wouldn't be surprised if my 120G SSD fails next week

It all started when I had to whip up a GUI-wrapped youtube-dl based program for a windows machine.

Thinking a handy GUI python library will get it done in no time, I started right away with the Kivy quick-start page in front of me.

Everything seemed to be going fine, until I decided it would be "wise" to first check if I can run Kivy on said windows machine.

Here I spent what felt like a day (5 hours) trying to install core pip modules for kivy.. only before realizing my innocent cygwin64 setup was the reason everything was failing, and that sys.platform was NOT set to "win32" (a requirement later discovered when unpacking .whl files)

"Okay.. you know what? Fuck........ This."
In a haze of frustration, I decided it was my fault for ever deciding to do Python on windows, and that "none of this would've happened if I were installing pip modules on a Linux terminal"...

I then had the "brilliant" idea of "Why don't I just use Linux, and make windows a virtual machine within, for testing."

And so I spent the next hour getting everything set up correctly for me get back to programming.... And so I did.

But uh... you're doing GUI stuff, right? -> Yeah...

And you uh.. Kivy uses OpenGL on windows, doesn't it? -> Yeah..?

OpenGL... 2.

-> Fuck.

That's when I realized my "brilliant" idea, was actually a really bad prank. Turns out.. I needed a native windows environment with up-to-date non-virtual graphics drivers that supported at least OpenGL2 for Kivy GUI programs!

Something I already had from square 1.

And at this point, it hurts to even sigh knowing I wasted hours just... making... poor decisions, my very first one being cygwin64 as a substitution for windows cmd.

But persistent as any programmer should be in order to succeed, I dragged my sorry ass back to the computer to reinstall windows on the actual hardware... again.

While the windows installer was busy jacking off all over my precious gigabytes (why does it need that much spaaace for a base install??? fuck.). I had "yet another brilliant idea" YABI™

Why not just do a dual-boot? That way, you have the best of both worlds, you do python stuff in Linux, and when it's time to build and test on the target OS, you have a native windows environment!

This synthetic harmony sounded amazing to the desperate, exhausted, shell of a man that I had become after such a back-breaking experience with cygwin

Now that my windows platter with a side of linux was all set-up and ready-to-go, I once again booted up windows to test if Kivy even worked.

And... It did!

And just as I began raising my victory flags, I suddenly realized there was one more thing I had to do, something trivial, should take me "no time" to do, being in a native windows environment and all.................... -.- (sigh)

I had to make sure it compiles to a traditional exe...

Not a biggy, right? Just find one of those py2exe—sounding modules or something, and surprisingly enough, there was indeed a py2exe—sounding module, conveniently named... py2exe.

Not a second thought given, I thought surely this was a good enough way of doing it, just gonna look up the py2exe guide and...

-> 3 hours later + 1 extra coffee

What do you meeeeean "module not found"? Do I need to install more dependencies? Why doesn't it say so in the DAMN guide? Wait I don't? Why are you showing me that error message then????

-------------------------------

No. I'm not doing this.
I shut off my computer and took a long... long.. break.

Only to return sometime the next day and end up making no progress, beating my SSD with more OS installs (sometimes with no obvious reason to do so).

Wondering whether I should give up Kivy itself as it didn't seem compatible with py2exe.. I discovered pyInstaller, which seemed to be the way Kivy wants exe's to be made on windows..

Awesome! I should've looked up how Kivy developers make exe's instead of jumping straight into py2exe land, (I guess "py2exe" just sounded more effective to me then)

More hours pass, and you'd think I'd have eliminated all of my build environment problems by now... but oh, how wrong you'd be...

pyInstaller was failing, and half the solutions I found online were to download some windows update KB32946..whatever...

The other half telling me to downgrade from Python 3.8.1 to Python 3.8.0000.009 (exaggeration! But you get the point)

At the end of all that mess, I decided it wasn't worth some of my lifespan, and that maybe.. just maybe.. it would've been better to create WINDOWS GUI with the mother fuc*ing WINDOWS API.

Alright, step 1: Get Visual Studio..
Step 2: kys
Step 3: kys again.

So, I probably shouldn't post about this publicly, but I'm just exhausted.

There's a moment when you're writing a grievance letter to the CEO, and you're saying things like "evidence of discrimination includes a letter signed and sent via email and post by the CTO", and you have to giggle to yourself when you add "by default, I have not sent this letter via post as I believe this is a more environmentally friendly approach, however am more than happy to do so"

I'm absolutely exhausted...
Just spent the past 2 days restructuring our SAAS products entire server network on AWS just so we can have a static IP address for all our server instances passing through an NAT....because we need to integrate with another service that only allows you to access their API if they whitelist your IP.

Exhausted from the main project so working on another, smaller project is the dev equivalent of checking phone after getting tired from using laptop/PC

*this is gonna be a long one*

This year has been a Year™️. I'm kinda fed up with the industry in general, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna get back to working.
I also got an official autism diagnosis, which makes me feel like there isn't really gonna be a workplace where I'm not gonna want to die. It's fucking exhausting to deal with corporate bs and I don't have the bandwidth for that.
Recently I've been focusing on finishing my studies and I've been considering a hard turn to academia. tbh it's not an idea i like to entertain, but i do like that it has more autonomy and room to breathe. I also like teaching, that's not the problem for me, i just hate the research culture in general. I find it pedantic and gatekeepy in a way that really pisses me off.
Anyway, I'm mostly exhausted, but i do enjoy this field, I just don't know where to go from here.

I am a single-pass compiler.
Why?
Well, when I have to do the food shopping for the week, I have a look at the buying list, keep the things in mind, go through the shop exactly once and everytime I see a match with the list, I put it into the shopping trolley.
Efficient and quick.
Soo, on the other hand, my girlfriend is a multi-pass compiler.
What that mean, you ask?
Well, she doesn't have any look at the buying list until she is in the shop. Then, she runs through the whole building until she finally finds the first thing on the list... and repeats with the next one until there's no entry left.
She needs three times longer than me for this, is totally exhausted after it, and, not forgetting, then SHE is angry about ME, because I wanted to have these "special" sweets she had too run through the shop twice for because she couldn't find it at first try.

By working for the matrix all of my biggest propositions worries concerns and probabilities are now being confirmed. Giving 1/3 of your life every day to the matrix, gets you home so exhausted and drained that you need to sleep or rest on couch for 2/3 of your life and before you know it it's time for bed to repeat all of it again by sleeping for 3/3 of ur life. And the matrix cycle repeats till death. You are basically a slave robot who works, rests from exhaustion and then sleeps so you could repeat the whole cycle tomorrow.

This is my biggest fear. This is my worse fucking living nightmare. How can people tolerate this? I mean sure if i was paid a million dollars a year I could tolerate it. But this is bearly bearable. I have to escape this box

Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.

Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.

... 😭😭😭😭😭

I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION.

i need advice.

is it better that i study during the day for college until 12pm (midnight) and then work on my own project from 12pm till 4-5am, go to sleep and wake up around 9-10am so thats 4-7h of sleep each day. the only exception would be tuesday bc i gotta wake up for college at 6am.

so i would be working on my project 6 days for about 4-5h per week.

i plan to do this for 2 months.

so: day shift - college study
night shift - my work

please help me organize my time.

now, im thinking about long term effects on this. its going to be pain. but i am in pain each day so i no longer feel pain. i will be exhausted as fuck. i am fully conscious of what is awaiting for me if i decide to do this.

here is my question. am i going to get a burnout from this? am i going to look physically different in 2 months (in a bad way)? am i going to be mentally worse? am i going to get really skinny? this would basically be a work of 19-20h for 6 days per week for 2 months. that is approximately 114-120h work week minus tuesday.

i have to be mentally equipped for this so i plan to do home workouts in night shift session in order to prevent burnouts. I'll do walks/jogs too in day shift for mental cooldowns. the most important thing for me is NOT TO GET A BURNOUT AT ALL COSTS DURING THIS PERIOD OF TIME NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

i need serious advice on how to do this right AND AVOID BURNOUTS AT ALL COST.

i MUST stay operational mentally for the next 2 months.

please list the things i should DO and NOT do so this can be achievable.

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

Need help from fellow devs.
It's been at least 3-4 years and it's getting worse.
I keep being demotivated, forgetful, inconclusive and not on point with code. (Yeah I know, I rant about angular, but that's a 10 years hate).

Today I'm supposed to do some table component that has pagination, buttons and shit in angular (yeah.... from scratch, they want to design the whole thing from 0) and I'm getting all confused by managing pagination, input to angular components, and all the simple stuff that I'VE DONE COUNTLESS TIMES.

I keep forgetting details, small meetups (under 20 mins) where we discuss lot of small details of implementation and I loose a lot of the details, forget a lot of stuff and have an hard time to put all the info togheter in a meaningful group of informations to have all the information available in an usable way at the moment of developing code.

Often I get rage outbursts because I don't understand things like before and I have to read and write down every fucking thing.
Often I get discouraged because I get lost in the details of big projects.

I have a lot of experience and that's what keeps me afloat.

I got panick attacks for small things and I never had panick attacks.

I feel I would need to stay away at all from programming for 2 months to have some passion back in it.

My mind is exhausted.

Some new brilliant colleagues joined the company and so I feel compelled to compete
and it works solely thanks to my superior experience.

I feel like a total dumbass and mentally challenged now.

Is it burnout? is it depression? What is it?

Oh china... just when I was so exhausted and annoyed at you... cuz i got behind and had to grind purchase/logistics/china-rel bs, to get necessities complete before your 2wks being MIA for chinese new year.

BUT THEN...

You had brought me this comedic gold in the midst of my sourcing woes!

Whoever points out my favourite 'precaution' first, wins.

...it's very rare that I say this, especially with my linguistics and algorithmic knowledge and exp making me easily peeved here...

But seriously, even Google trans with 0 knowledge of english, wouldve done better on most of these.

It's 1:15 AM and I just got gome from work after 16 hours working on some really difficult mission critical things and deploying.
I think it's 16 hrs, my mind doesn't really work anymore. Good thing I drove home safe...