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Me: *programming*
Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*
Me: *programming*
Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."
Me: "What, that's stupid."
Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"
Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."
Me: *programming*
Team: *doing absolutly nothing*
Me: "I fixed it!"
Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"
Me: "You didn't ask..."
And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.13 -
Dear team,
Train people well enough so they can leave
Treat them well enough so they don't want to
Regards,
A member of dev team2 -
Design team: "Is it okay if I put this here?"
Me: "No, it's not okay if you put that there."
Design team: "Are you sure? It'd be really cool if I could put that there."
Me: "No, I will need to fuck with a lot of things if you put that there, just put it in the bootstrap columns."
Design team: "Hold on, lemme see if it's okay to put that there."
Lead-dev: "He's right, you shouldn't put that there."
Company: "We should have a meeting to discuss where the design team can and can't put things."
Lead-dev: "Just put the things in the middle and devide them in these twelve columns on seperate rows, 'kay?"
Company: "Okay, the design team will now put the thing in those things, right design team?"
Design team: "Yes, we agree to putting the thing where we should put the thing."
Me: "So where do you want the thing now?"
Design team: "I want it all the way to the right, outside of the container, that'd look cool."
Me: "Fuck you."22 -
My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!
He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.
This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK
AND
His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.
Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates32 -
Attended my first 24h+ hackathon at @cyanide's college.
Our team got a special mention for being the best all women team.
Wait.
There was just one all women team.
Fucking!
Embarassing!
Seriously!63 -
So I moved from being the TL of a small team to a member of another team a month ago.
A dev from the old team sent me this today morning. He also sent some examples of what he found "cool", and tbh I'm pretty proud of those modules. I tried being very modest there, but I'm very happy 😅
8 -
Project Leader: the team needs to use Git
Dev team: yeah Git, it will help us a lot
.
.
.
[three days later]
Dev: we send the changes via Dropbox, see you on monday!
7 -
That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Tired of a team and manager who refuse to make me feel like part of the team.
Officially started looking for a new job today.
🤞11 -
A simple, open source Neo4j client written in PHP - help craft project decisions and develop as a team10
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Team Lead: don't ask me to help with your problem, open a ticket
*opens ticket*
*ticket gets routed to team lead*
Hahahaha :D3 -
My team are the best coworkers I've had. Admittedly I'm only 4 years into my professional career, but my team makes me stay with my current job.
My team do a lot of silly things to keep everyone in a good mood, and stress free. This week we've had a game where in a quote moment you just yell the name of a primitive type (like BOOL). Why? No idea, but we're enjoying it.
We also have a chicken hat that we named Barry. He sits with people on their desk to do code reviews and such. When people leave they get their own Barry to take with them to their new job. We introduce people to him as a regular member of the team.
Sometimes work sucks. Being a developer can be hard, and can be stressful. Working with this team makes it worth it. -
My team was sharing an API key to our company's microservice containing all our customer data.
I say "was" because one team member accidentally published the key online so the security team disabled our key and won't give us a new one.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry4 -
Casually Client Team Asked A Developer Team,
What is your favorite game?
**Blame Game**, One of the junior developer murmured.
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Mobile app crashed a lot after latest release. Everyone called for a meeting to discuss the issue and find resolutions.
Engineering lead for backend team: well part of our problem is we haven’t had time to test everything fully. Maybe product could give us a list of all the features that can’t go down and we’ll prioritize those for testing?
Product: ... ... ... all of them?
Me: laughing hysterically while on mute2 -
Holy fucking shit! Coding by yourselves seem so much fucking more efficient than in a team. Fuck you team! I know you might say this makes me a bad programmer. But you know what fuck you too!7
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Had a PM in my programming class say "I want to understand what my team is going through, so I want to learn to code and the like, really to be a jack of all trades to better myself and my team" 👏 I respect that.2
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Bus-Factor: A new metric to describe how well kowledge is distributed among the team members by calculating how many of your team members can be run over by a bus without killing your project!6
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Dumb ass management. Picked a different technology for us without consulting our technical team...3
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Client - "We absolutely totally 100% neeeeeeeeed this plugin added to our wp site that another team built. "
Team - "Nope sorry you can't have it the plugin was deprecated 2 years ago, and the service you want to pull a feed from dost work like that any more. Here are other options A B C D. "
Client - "No we want it. You have to make it work or we are cancelling our account."
Team - "see ya"2 -
Crappy team bonding or conference days where you spend the day away from your machine listening to motivational speeches from arsehole senior managers!!
"And don't forget everyone, there's no I in team."
"No, but there's a U in cunt."2 -
I'm interrupted frequently during team meetings, usually by junior team members. I brought it up to my boss at a 1:1 and now he interrupts me more often than they do.
I wasn't giving you permission. 😒4 -
Interview for a new job
Team leader: well yes, we have this webapp with Angular, it's a bit convoluted so we need help working on it
Me: sounds good enough, I have no experience with Angular though, I'll need to learn on the road
Team leader: no worries :)
A couple of weeks later, after joining the team
Me: wait a moment, that's not Angular you got there. That's AngularJS, it's like 10 years old
Team leader: 😊
Bruh11 -
Recruiter:
... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?
Me: Fuuuucck no.5 -
Today, a team mate has sent me this picture: he found this Olivetti in the street, near a trash bin. He will take it to the office next Monday so we are going to troll other team mates with this new and fantastic mechanical keyboard!!
2 -
- be the most productive member in the team and everyone dumps their tasks on you.
- be the laziest person in the team and everyone sees you as a bottleneck.
- be the senior + the laziest person in the team and you can complain about others being a bottleneck and dump your tasks on the most productive member.
fml ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮3 -
During QA for a huge project when our dev team was confident of the stability of the project, We started introducing small bugs, QA team use to raise bugs in Jira, we marked them as not reproducible.
Frustrated QA started coming to our cubes - at this point dev team worked in a perfect coordination like a man to man marking in hockey. While one dev asked QA guy to reproduce the bug in front of him while the other dev has already fixed it.
Continued for a couple of days till our team lead was satisfied with the revenge. -
When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.2
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the team gave access to the database to another team, and one of their guys did a delete cascade by mistake thinking it was theirs... everyone was scrambling for days trying to get a backup, thankfully there was one3
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I am on a team of 2 currently at work.
I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.
Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.
Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.
He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."
Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪3 -
We need another developer to our team, but my team leader wants someone who is familiar with our stack. A week later HR comes to our room :
"Look I have a perfect candidate! He knows all things you have listed, plenty of experience. Please take a look and I will organize an interview".
Team leader took a glimpse and started to laugh: "This is my CV from before I started working here"1 -
You will know your 2 year old dev team is messed up when the 'best programmer of the bunch' does a line like:
boolean check = ...some logic...;
if(check == true) {...
:/ and I'm going to be leading this team..10 -
My previous boss disappeared for a week and didn't tell us why. We thought the team was gonna get fired because of him and I even started looking for a new job. The team got fired, but they kept me for some other work.4
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Guess who's updating his resume and starting a job hunt this weekend?
Fucking asshole tech teams. Literally every single person I knew since I joined has quit.
Now I know. This place is full of assholes. I take back my earlier rants where I praised this team.
Company is good but this specific team is full of toxic assholes in their tech team.16 -
So the dev team got invited to a management team meeting. First order of business: Happy Birthday Betty!!! Yey!! Second on the agenda: How's you son Dylan doing at school? Yey!?!? After fucking around for 25 minutes: why are the development team here? OHH! We didn't mean to invite you, must be a mistake. WELL FUCK YOU, AND YOUR SON DYLAN AND YOUR BIRTHDAY BETTY, YOU THINK WASTING OUR FUCKING TIME IS FUN!?
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My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
Genius! xD
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3 -
This isn't a rant. This is a brag on my team.
I asked the team what exactly a feature did. They read me the test code.
I may get a little weepy. So proud. -
So apparently the CIO knows all about my team lead sucking it up as a boss, and is letting him do it. He's constantly on the team leads ass about stuff and it's stressing him out.
The CIO wants him to stop being so micro managey and let the team handle things... But instead of telling the team lead that, he'd rather just blast him constantly and stress him out which makes it roll onto us and stress the whole team out.
I wish the CIO would just tell him to square up or just fire him... This stress isn't good for anyone. -
When me and 2 friends/officemates of mine, formed a freelance team to work part time for us to pay the bond contract on our full time job. We were able to leave 9 months after forming the team.3
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Yesterday, I and my team built a good hospital management system for Trauma centers containing two apps and two websites.So that the system should contain transparency. But unfortunately, we didn't made a place in top 3 but it was a great experience to build this project with my team.3
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When your new team-members don't commit their code end of day Friday and you end up working the whole holiday weekend to fix their shitty work while they're away for the week....
Joys of being a team-lead..1 -
I got moved to a new team. My old team was truly agile, and my manager was very "off hands" and actually let us work.
My new team is an older team that practices a bloated abomination called SAFe Agile, and the manager gets into all the details to the point of removing autonomy.
Shoot me please.
Paradise lost. -
For those who have seen me ranting about ending up in a bad team.....
Few days back I was emotionally and mentally affected to a level I couldn't handle anymore. I spoke to my manager (our team got a new manager who is sensible and serious) and asked for team change and he said it was possible but he would need some time. 🙂1 -
I long for the day I get a job with an actual developer team, where I can do things like getting my code reviewed or pair programming or being forced to write better tests.
Working as the only developer (or a team of 2) sucks :(4 -
If she make a sexual joke, it's a joke and we all need to be good sport in the team.
If I make a sexual joke then it's sexual harassment and all the women in the team is offended.
Ok Noted.11 -
Can someone explain some of my colleagues that THEY DON'T FUCKING NEED A DIFFERENT SLACK TEAM FOR EVERYTHING!
Want to have some random talk? Let's create a new Slack team
Want to add notifications from Git? Let's create a new Slack team
Want to try some new bot they found? Let's create another fucking Slack team3 -
There was a team meeting where something controversial was being discussed. A team mate was sharing their screen showing the controversial prototype. Meanwhile, me and another team mate started texting parallely on Teams. After a while, people were just listening to each other arguing and doing their own thing. And the guy who was arguing at that moment was being very sarcastic and passive aggressive and it was hilarious. I texted my teammate some inside joke about the the team mate. I heard the Teams notification go off and it was not mine. Oh yeah, I texted the teammate whose screen was being shared 🙇1
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This one is for @Fast-Nop
Both a rant and a joke/meme.
Its also funny because its true. Couple of teams (team responsible for orders and team responsible for accounting) are in seclusion in a meeting room right now cleaning up the web team's screw up.
5 -
being forced to perform a major version upgrade on a legacy service that your team doesn't own
fml3 -
As a senior engineer/team lead. What would you do if you had an engineer on your team who is very difficult and arrogant but very good at their job?13
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Me: I need a subtitle for the header on my website: “Our Team”
Chatgpt: Sure, here are good subtitles for “Our Team” header on your website:
— Meet the Experts
— Our Skilled Professionals
— Talent at Your Service
…
Me: Make it a little bit lengthier:
Chatgpt: Sure, here is a more detailed subtitle option for the “Our Team” header on your website:
{{was actually expecting 2 to 3 lines but dude proceeds to write a full page long content explaining “Our Team”}}
I feel like this dude gets orgasm when it sees the word “lengthier”.2 -
What pisses me off most: on-site team/client team not specifying a non reproducable issue properly in an email and expecting a quick fix for it ASAP, making me run in circles.3
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Other Team: "our builds don't clean up properly"
*docker rm -f $(docker ps -a)*
Other Team: "our builds keep filling up machines"
*docker rmi $(docker images -q)*
Random Team Member: "My builds keep failing on service foo randomly exiting"
Other Random Team Member: "Why is there no caching on our builds"
...
team panics thinking it's their fault as our main job still passes, as it's on another machine.
...
When we find out after tracking build history
KMS2 -
So our scrum team just bought a collection of nerf guns. We were able to repel quite some disturbances from outside the team.1
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Have you ever encountered a situation like this before?
You worked in a team, made many adjustments in the codebase, and all the changes you've made are the best practice (after some research or asking the community).
But the team leader decided to go with the "messy" version of the code and the team leader does adjust the principle of "bad code" in favour of your coworker, just because he/she is a friend of the team leader.
So, whatever you adjust or contribute is simply nullified but any adjustments made by your coworker are considered "new updates".5 -
This wanker approached me via LinkedIn before new year to be team lead to a diverse team of devs spread over a few time zones.
The mission? Build a metacritic clone, but geographically constrained to New York.
Me : How much are you offering?
Him: <radio silence>1 -
I see lots of ranting about bosses or team members.
My boss values me a lot and my team is open to discussing amd value my opinion.
What the fuck to I rant about? fml1 -
I was hired to a working team that is full of experienced people who know how to code but half the team is awfull at solving problems, and all they do is blame each other... why cant they understand we are one team and rather work on solution for 30 minutes they spent deciding who fucked up...2
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tl;dr; A co-worker and I had an disagreement on our package structure. They went straight to our team lead instead of trying to solve this in our team and by that letting me do my job.
Do I overreact by assuming that this was malicious?
A co-worker asked me to do their code review today. There was nothing really wrong there, mainly something a bad generator created.
However at one point we had a disagreement about the naming structure of the packages. We both agreed to disagree, so I thought we could bring that up in the next daily, as it's something the team should agree on.
Shortly after that, they told me on Slack, that they relayed the matter to our team lead to get their opinion. Wtf.
My role in the team is that of a technical lead. Even though I like to discuss such topics in the team and not straight up dictate decisions.
By going directly to our team leader, they basically circumvented the whole team. This really rubs me wrong the way.
Maybe I'm just overreacting?5 -
[tl;dr at the bottom]
(Project Team Group Chat)
dev: @Desing team, i have a question, there's a required field missing in you design, can i go to your desktop to get an quick answer/explanation about that?
design team:....
dev: hello..?
PM: [writes a huge text to tell me that i can not interrupt them even if its a blocker and that we (dev team) shoul write them down and tell them only once a day in the scrum meeting]
dev: uuumm ok
-next day-
dev: so about that field, why did you...
Client: WHAT? There's a problem with the design!? oh boy, lets re-check every view right now with the whole team!
(it took like 2 hours, the field was missing just because they forgot that feature)
PM: okay, @DesingTeam, answer any questions from developers when they ask you...
tl;dr
we spent almost two hours with the client just because desing team didn't want to answer me a little question -
Hardest thing for me as Team leader is to teach people in my team, that task is done, when unit tests are written, pull request is created, approved and merged.
Not when their code compiles for a first time.1 -
my first job is in a brand-new team, all team mate other than the manager are new grads from colleges. we r so engaged and dedicated our efforts to deliver something. and one day one of our team mate decided to resign due to family issues, we try our best throw him a farewell party, it is so emotional. now I have worked in a couple of teams, the spirit could not found after then.1
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Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.5
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We're having a favorite hackathon projects vote at work tomorrow. Basically each team are given 5 minutes to present their project and we'll vote the most interesting project for a favorite project award.
I'll give my vote to whichever team confuse me the quickest.2 -
I'm a developer, member of the A-Team. Actually I'm the leader of the A-Team.
We are incredibly skilled. Our problem solving capabilities is amazing, almost 100 times more effective than the rest of people. We produce code 10 times faster and better than anybody else. We have THE knowledge.
We can save the company in case of emergency.
For that reason, it's of paramount importance to nurture and protect the A-Team.
- When there is a bug, A-Team will not correct it. Because, if A-Team is busy, and bad shit happens, the company could be destroyed and we couldn't help
- When there is some important features to develop with a deadline, A-Team will not participate: A-Team must stay alert and ready in case of emergency
- If huge catastrophe happens and long hours, night and weekend are needed to fix it, A-Team will not risk burning the A-Team because it's the only high skilled team we have. The company cannot afford to have an A-Team member exhausted, underpaid, unhappy leaving or sleepy. Therefore, the company will sacrifice other less important people.
A-Team is company biggest asset and must be protected in any kind of situations.
The company should also pay training for them in order to increase their skills and make them unreplaceable.
These are my conditions. I'm the leader of the A-Team. You can't afford to loose me.7 -
Client: I need you to clean up the database and remove all rows [with children] with a timestamp older than 5 years
Team: OK
Team [internally]: we definitely need a dba for this
Me: dba? Why? A junior dev can do that
Team: yyeeaahh, but still.. A DBA would do it better. You know, foreign keys and everything
Me: ....8 -
You told the design team this won't work on a large scale
Design team: Well we designed it, so, fuck you !
You: Does the implementation...
End Product: * Doesn't work *
Design Team: Why isn't it working, suggest a workaround
* Facepalm *
* Dead Inside *
* Give me Death Note plox *11 -
If you're filling a ticket on a team, make sure it includes EVERYTHING that is needed to complete the ticket so anyone on your team can complete it, not just the people with institutional knowledge.4
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We have a new team member in our team. So I was giving her one to one KT. After KT
She: so are there new changes coming soon?
Me: Yes there will. Now you here I could really use a hand.
She: that's what he said3 -
Ooh what a nice feeling it is when you come back from a short vacation and everything is in the gutter... My team is divided into the two other teams... (I said divided but I ment everyone got assigned into team X... And I am the only one who was put into team Y)
Besides the whole team fiasco, I think my legacy project decided to role around in the garbage... Because I have no idea where all those bugs came from...
One positive thing is that I won't be working alone on that legacy project anymore, at the start of next week I get help from my new team... Now let's hope they don't suck!1 -
My first job was at an e-learning firm, and I was a part of the team that made the digital content.
The team had a really good spirit. Often too good, as our team manager often gave up on us and left our weekly status meetings because we were all just joking and having a good time.
Still, we usually did an OK job and delivered on time.
Those were good times. Now I'm just a single dev without a team in a pretty large company. Luckily, I'm away on paternity leave atm.2 -
From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"
I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.1 -
Team Leader, once again, wagered I was wrong on a technical thing
I, once again, accepted his wager
Team Leader, once again, lost the bet.
That's 3-0 now.2 -
Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.15
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I have *created* a new team member :) I think he alone could replace most of the team.
Kind of makes you think what have we been doing with our time all those years. If all that work can be automated :/5 -
It's official, I'm now the only senior in my team, the other person got promoted for a new position in a new team and now I'm fucked.2
-
HR: "you are the highest paid dev on team"
Dev: Then not just me, the entire team should get a hike 🥴
HRs are hired because they are good negotiators.
#aFriendsStoryAtABigMNC -
I was hired as a team lead. I'd only managed small online teams before but now it's an office job. Any books and articles on technical team leading you may suggest?5
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Lately, all I see is ppl postings gifs instead of ranting...
So, choose a team:
Team Hard G
Or
Team Soft G5 -
My first job, I was expecting to be part of Android team but assigned to php team, a little disappointed but I guess as a developer its not something new 😛.
Excited first day first job2 -
Last hackaton (and first) I participated in was a disaster.
In the end our team was the only team, but there were other hackatons as well so in the end they just judged all the different hackatons as if they were all the same and that's the story of my team not winning 25k$ -
Give me an example of a cool thing your PM/team leader did for your dev team.
Our douche PM got sacked so i need ideas for my fellow dev team 🤓
*chuggs coffe in celebration*2 -
Ask to get DB back ups done, contact DB team => cant log in => have 2 contact wintel team => they believe a reboot will sort it => contact customer => permission to bounce given => contact team to bounce => shifted back onto DB team => bd team open lync conversation about bouncing => no reply to mails if all is well in the world => sit at desk cant start dev cuz know will be sucked into aroganizing this brewery piss up with a bunch of bums....... cue putting on headphones and blasting some music at 11 ,,,,,,,,,,,, been waiting to deploy for 4 hours !!! FML2
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AFTER 8 WEEKS OF HELL IN THIS CURRENT USELESS TEAM FULL OF EGOS AND SHITTY SCOPE I AM FINALLY TRANSFERING TO ANOTHER TEAM WITH NICE SCOPE AND A DECENT TEAM FUCK YEAAAAAHHHHH DURJDKLWHTB4KDLDJRJELSEKELELENEBEBSNEKMWM1
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I’ve had meetings specifically for team A’s problems. Team B gets invited to assist. Within ten minutes the meeting was all about team B and none of team A’s problems were solved. “Team B” is notorious for hijacking meetings. I’m not a psychologist. I don’t feel qualified to speculate about WHY they do this...2
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If there was a team architect role at your company per team that had no financial benefit tied to it and you were told it had no bearing on promotional chances and it came with a lot of extra responsibility and then you were asked to be interviewed (technical and behavioral) by two people outside your team in order for your manager to determine who on your team should have that role even though the last TA (who left the company) on your team was literally chosen by popular vote… would you do it? Would you feel insulted being asked?5
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:/
I've been working for a contractor company for the last half year, when I first started I was on a development team, happy and making progress, since I'm still a student I get perfomance reviews each month and I aced them all during my time at the development team.
Last month I was transfer to a supposed development team which turned out to be a support team, I use to write more code in two days with the other team than in all my time here. On my last performance I got an awful grade and I feel like I'm stuck here.1 -
My team: please read that article about blameless postmortems, there's a lot we could take on board to improve team morale
My team extra-passive-aggressive at the first incident: why did you do that? That was never gonna work3 -
when you go to the help channel as directed by your team to ask a question
and the help channel redirects you back to your team -
I am being transferred to a new team. New team has started assigning work, but the current team has not yet released me.
So I end up working 80% of my time in the current team and 40% in my new team.
1 -
A teammate wants to transition from our current team to another team while there was an ongoing project.
Ended up leaving the whole project to me. FML2 -
Best: getting hired for my first job at a digital marketing agency.
Worst: watching everyone else quit around me, culminating in my team leader, the last team member besides me1 -
For anyone interested.
Google is doing a 30 days of Flutter event where you can access curated content from the Flutter team and join live AMAs with Google’s Flutter Team.
https://events.withgoogle.com/30-da...2 -
Got hired in a new organization for a particular team. Before joining, I had met the manager of the team and the work he told me was interesting. Upon joining, on the first day, I found that I am joining some other team and the work in this team doesn't look interesting at all!! :'( :-\
It sucks! -
Me: finally we have automated deployment to production
Team Lead: No production deployment still requires manual approval
Me: ok how do you want to handle it slack, webhook, what do you suggest
Team Lead: let's do a proof of concept (POC) for this
Me: Ahh... Poc for this ?
Team Lead: you don't know sh*t ?
Me: well I know you're are creating that here
Next day team change... -
So, we're apparently going to build a sort of social media(with competitions) for our software engineering project. I thought of a productivity app that would follow the GTD methodology (with my own additions), but my team mates thought my idea wasn't big enough for a team of 10. One claimed that he would do it all by himself in a week/month(Don't know what he said). Oh, well. Anyways, I'm going to build that software as a side project with a friend or two. I hope that goes well..
PS. We need a team name. Any suggestions?
I thought of Team Sudo lol.. No one liked it..1 -
not exactly a hack but i started a prank war between us ( helpdesk team) and the pc team by pranking one of them with nirsoft and psexec.
at first he didnt really realize why his browser crashes and his cdrom opens and closes randomly. -
I had to argue with my lead today, to prove that docker is actually a container technology and not a CI CD pipeline -_-
That too in the team meeting.
P.S. Not much of his fault though, as ours is a mobile app development team :/5 -
!rant
Had a dyslexic girl on my team doing Javascript for a few weeks, it was brutal to see her struggle with finding the errors the typing caused and even point them out to her when helping. She eventually quit our team and joined a Java team.
Anyone here with dyslexia doing programming? What language and what is your greatest challenges compared to your colleagues apart from the obvious?6 -
I use version control as a glorified backup. Only recently did we start branching at work.
This is why I need to be part of a proper team where I can learn instead of being a team of 2 juniors and no one else 😂 -
dear Android devs, how many of you work in a Team of more Android devs? And are you more productive in a Team than being solo ?12
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I started working at a new company a couple of weeks ago as a Dev/Ops engineer, my first real ops position after years of being mostly a dev with two sys-admin positions sprinkled in.
I should have seen the red warning signs when, during the interview, a developer told me the old devops team was so bad they fired all of them last year. After I started, I learned that all four people on our team were totally new. Three were hired after the last guy from the old team left (without any notice) and one person use to be a developer who was transferred over to this new team (but not to lead it).1 -
Been a team lead for a few years now but it seems that my job now seems to be chasing team members for estimates and deadlines 😡
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SSMS dark theme - That is not a 12 step fucking program. ...That'd be great.
I fucked around forever with changing every little thing but it gets quirky after a while. Highlighting for one...
Can't the SSMS team have a fucking lunch with the VS team and work out some minimal arrangement?7 -
I'm leadering a small team, it's my second team. What books will helpme to become a great manager?9
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A team blacklisted a series of words in order to prevent XSS. Obviously they failed terribly. Like they filtered 'alert(' and crap like that. Like a hacker is going to alert stuff using xss. I opened a bug to their team.1
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From Documentation:
"A SHA256 HMAC is created outside of Bronto. If you need help with this step, contact one of the developers at your company."
Yes because, cause every company has a developer.
*Only developer at company* -
OH: We have a DevOps team that does neither Dev nor Ops. An SRE team that are not engineers and a head of SW Dev who said with a straight face today that our Oracle multi-monolithification over the past 3 years was a ‘Digital Transformation'.1
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Just found out our pre-production environment is the qa for another team.
Infra team has recommended to ignore the nomenclature. It's just a name they said. -
So a guy who is on team team and making more money then me and has just been offered a promotion just suggested I open a json file using MySQL...yes you read that correctly your eyes are not broken4
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I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3 -
What is your preferred team size? Have you had a better experience working on a larger or smaller team?10
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Does anyone have experience on just "taking" the team organizer slot? My current team meetings are just nuts. A lot of ummms and awkward silences no structure and each runs at least 100% longer than the allotted time. No preparations are made before the meetings. The oldest team member has only been with the company like 1,5 year. I crave more organization1
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Long one
So our newest team-mate has made a channel dedicated to make fun of or scrum master, then I send him a pm saying to cut out the childs play, and we need to act professional.
Then he tells me that our scrum master is okay with it, and really looks like he is!
SM said this making jokes about him brings the whole team together and makes us a better team!!
WTF...
Really WTF ... am I the bad guy for caring about my team??3 -
We offer you to join our A-team and be an important contributor in an exciting agile web development team using the latest web technologies to develop our new front end using AngularJS.1
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Me: This spam email looks a little weirder than normal.
Phishing team: Its just spam don't waste our time.
*15 min later*
Phishing team: Nevermind. Its trying to take your log in info off your account. Thanks
...Jerks -
Phase one of the project we assembled a team for rapid development. The client was enthusiastic about the progress that the team made in a short time. They specifically requested the same team for phase two of the project. Executives replaced everyone on the team except me.
I looked at the new team and basically everyone on it is less technical.1 -
Anyone who is participating in Facebook CTF and wants team members?
Or we can form a team together.8 -
Who want to make programming team?
Who want to form a programming team. Anyone can anywhere in the world5 -
Hey devRant,
What are your tips for delegating jobs as a project manager for a relatively inexperienced team?2 -
None of my collabs were walk in a park. Some were better, and some worse. Never worked in a team that worked without serius communication problems. Some individuals stuck out as great for me to work with. I guess you can’t have a perfect team.1
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That I'll either have to deal with noobs being on my team or I will be the noob on the team. Rare to find a team with similar levels of dexterity.1
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I used to lead a team of several devs. Then we learned the boss was using the company as his personal piggy bank. Now I lead a team of 1.4
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something id like to yell at my company:
if u only cant afford to take a certain team to team lunches because its getting too big, stop recruiting for fucks sake. it was literally the coolest perk🤷♂️ -
It was quite a rough begining of 2016... having to give the context of a 7 team members project to 5 new team members, that replaced 5 teammates that left the company...
2 -
Damnnn my Team lead is hinting that i write a test for the feature I paired with a team member.
But the large django code base is ridden with abstract classes and classes and inheritance etc...its going to be a long night -
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
Here is my problem. The team I'm on has developers from other areas that were "put" into a new team. Two use "structured programming" but the requirements make me think we need "domain driven design". How in the world can I get them to evolve into another mindset while still meeting the deadline?1
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What do you do when your team ignores you but they're needed because it's to clean up/change their shit?
Lately it seems I get a lot of issues and they are all caused/created by monkeys...
I now feel so unmotivated I think I'm gonna work from home for the rest of the week....1 -
Working with a team is great... doing something similar as another team member? Just copy his code when he's done!1
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I have joined a hackathon. We have finished our product quite early. Have a peep on other team progress.
Screen of other team laptop: Google how to HTML
Me: What...
Rule of the hackathon: No slideware, and only working prototype
Me: Now I get it -
Best: Getting fired from a shitty company that regularly lied to middle-management after standing up for my team.
Worst: Losing a team of fantastic direct-reports that went to bat for each other, helped each other out, and help me be a better engineer.
(Spoiler alert: same job) -
Almost done with our block launcher GUI!!, we came up with a name for our modding team, SPO team =D this is gonna be awesome we will have a discord, we will make money with links or youtube , then there wont be anything to worry about!!!
8 -
Participating in an online hackathon in a few days. Still don't have a single person on my team lol6
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Co own a service with another team.
Service is something me or my team have hardly worked on. Other team have far more knowledge on it. There is no active development that we do on it so no opportunity to really learn on it.
Some months back was involved in migrating the tests of this service to run on another system. I was unsuccessful and asked this other team a lot for help. This was just migrating, nothing to make you more familiar with code etc but just seeing the config and wondering what to change. The CID team then said we could temporarily add this service to use old system for builds.
Now get request from CID team they're diagnosing the issue for the service and that if they need help if we'd be able to help. I said other team better as they understand better. Manager of other team then replies with big message tagging my manager and PO and frankly says why the fuck am I forwarding this to other team, we should learn the service too as co owned. While I get their point, shouldn't stop assisting another team for the sake of knowledge transfer, should have other dedicated sessions for that.
Would be open to hear thoughts, is she in the right here? Frankly we already own loads of other stuff and never have time to look at this service that somehow the team owns4 -
Tomorrows meeting couldn't be more messed up
•boss(we are kind a thing now)and her ex sitting at the same table while she tries not to kill him
•me sitting there with someone else's shitty website with 20 day old code to show as a back end (previous dev was a cunt and deleted all copies from everywhere)
•them expecting a junior dev to build a whole accounting package on the 20day old code
•deadline 3weeks
• crying on the inside 😱😱😱5 -
You work in a team, for a team to move forward successfully the team should work in sync. A team always has a goal and a plan to get to it. There are times when the team needs to take a different direction therefore the set path should always be available for change because our environments dictate it.
We all have different styles of working and different opinions on how things should work. Sometimes one is wrong and the other is right, and sometimes both are wrong, or actually sometimes both are right. However, at the end of it all, the next step is a decision for the team, not an individual, and moving forward means doing it together. #KickAssTeam
The end result can not come in at the beginning but only at the end of an implementation and sometimes if you’re lucky, during implementation you can smell the shit before it hits the fan. So as humans, we will make mistakes at times by using the wrong decisions and when this happens, a strong team will pull things in the right direction quickly and together. #KickAssTeam
Having a team of different opinions does not mean not being able to work together. It actually means a strong team! #kickAssTeam However the challenging part means it can be a challenge. This calls for having processes in place that will allow the team members to be heard and for new knowledge to take lead. This space requires discipline in listening and interrogating opinions without attachment to ideas and always knowing that YOUR opinion is a suggestion, not a solution. Until it is taken on by the team. #KickAssTeam We all love our own thinking. However, learning to re-learn or change opinions when faced with new information should become as easy to take in and use.
Now, I am no expert at this however through my years of development I find this strategy to work in a team of developers. It’s a few questions you ask yourself before every commit, When faced with working in a new team and possibly as a suggestion when trying to align other team members with the team.
The point of this article, the questions to self!
Am I following the formatting standard set?
Is what I have written in line with official documentation?
Is what I am committing a technical conversion of the business requirement?
Have I duplicated functionality the framework already offers?
I have introduced a methodology, library, heavily reusable component to the system, have you had a discussion with the team before implementing?
Are your methods and functions truly responsible for 1 thing?
Will someone you will never get to talk to or your future self have documentation of your work?
Either via point number 2, domain-specific, or business requirements documentation.
Are you future thinking too much in your solution?
Will future proof have a great chance of complicating the current use case?
Remember, you can never write perfect code that cures every future problem, but what you can do perfectly is serve the current business problem you are facing and after doing that for decades, you would have had a perfect line of development success.1 -
I mean, can even the folks at MS make sense of Teams..?
"Open Teams, select the Client's Teams and in the standup Team write a shoutout for the team"
damn it!2 -
Just love my team and my team mates. Never had such a good team synergy before. Everybody puts in their best and gives the proper credits. No micromanagement. And if you keep delivering and have a good reason for not delivering, everything goes smoothly.
The only issue is that I want to be paid more 😂1 -
Im backend dev. I just had a meeting with the full team to discuss the ui design and implementation...
But I dont see my full team meetings to discuss the sofware design and architecture... u.u3 -
What are your favorite tools for a knowledge base? Like where you collect documentation within a team5
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Just been moved to a different team.
I talked to the old team leader, the new team leader and the CTO. Those are 3 people and I got 4 conflicting explanations. -
I just set course becoming a contributer to a programming language. My ambition is to become core team member.
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When a team manager appreciates the team for managing multiple conflicting priorities & working long hours in an allegedly agile environment, am more worried about why those things were needed in the first place
Mismanagement ? -
Is there a way to comment out another team? Not their code, the actual team members. Is there a node module for that?4
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Interruptions from production team because of a tiny issue that’s already been fixed waiting for deployment
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I'm going to interview for an associate team lead role but I've never had a leadership role before. How can I demonstrate I am team leadership material? Are these team lead positions worth it or is being an IC better?6
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Our HR in the company did not send any newcomers to our Team and we are waiting for a whole year...
The work was not overloaded but the development progress are slowing down
Even I have been relocated from Team A to Team B after 6 months in Team A... They never came for both -
The awesome thing about remote work is that you can be in a meeting for one team while working and logging hours for another team. Getting paid twice!
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So I have this new role at work, still app development with some added responsibilities. Nothing major. But already I'm noticing what could be a pattern.
Zoom meetings that could have been phone calls or emails. Meeting was setup a week and a half or so in advance. Had real a meaning last week where a team member mentioned it and reminded the other team members of the upcoming meeting. We all confirmed that we'd be there.
I get a notification that the meeting is in 15 minutes. Meeting time!!! So I log on, only to see one person from the other company, two more people from said company log on then my team member. But to my surprise him and I are the only people from my team on zoom.
My team member then goes on to waste this poor man's time asking him questions that he doesn't really have the answers to and I'm here just wondering why.
Why isn't this meeting a 2 minute phone call?
Why am I in this meet?
Is my team member bored?
How does this make my company look in the eyes of these people?
Now I know why my other team member didn't log on. They smelled the rat and knew this would be a wast of time. And me being new to the team walked right into it 😐 -
Part-of-a-team...teamwork!
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Always fun to watch if you know it, inspirational if you don't.
And if your boss is De Niro, meditate - and better be part of the team.
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