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Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.
Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*
Prof: except you, I dont trust you.36 -
My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:
Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust
That made me happy15 -
Customer: I need a program that can do this.
Me: Okay. We can do this. But we recommend you a gui.
Customer: Oh I don‘t need a gui. We have Windows.
Me: you will need a gui. Here you are a dummy programme without a gui. Try it out. Find out yourself.
Customer: I trust you. Dummy is fine. But it’s not ready yet, right?
Me: It’s just a dummy to show you what it means, having ni gui for that.
Customer: all fine i need this programme. Go ahead.
Me codes and silently makes one build with gui... ;) xou know what comes:
Me: here you are your programme.
Customer: how to use it? It is cryptic. A black window opens. I cannot click. The manual is full of text i habve to type. I don’t understand!?
Me: you need a gui.
Customer: Oh. I thought since windows 3.11 everything has one...
Me: pay me bucks I make you the gui.
C: meh. Okay here you are bucks.
Me: take this
C: wow so fast. This is cool. Take my money.
This sort of cognitive dissonance I will never understand. In first case ignoring my hints. In second recognizing my hints were true. But in third forgetting own stupidness and paying me extra-extra for what you ignored? Ethically I hated you so much for ignoring me, that I took your money, but you could have gotten me blaming me not selling you a gui... :D
Have a nice weekend5 -
Few months ago I made an app for my buddy. Because it was simple soundboard app (it literally took me 15 minutes) I haven’t took any money. He said it’s for personal use only...
So he released it under his name on Google Play Store... And now he asks me to add advertisements... For free... When I asked him what can I get from it, he said “you can add your name to Credits”
That’s how you loose trust and buddies!22 -
Last year, my company sent me to India to coordinate stuff.
Me, to my wife: "They've chosen me because they trust my social skills."
Her: "OMG, what is the rest of the company like?!"
LOL.. :-)3 -
The ability to convince the compiler that there's no errors.
"Shhhhhh.. trust me, there's such things as a duoble. Now just tell me the build was successful"2 -
Mobile app dev here 🙋♂️
Guy at work asking me why his phone feels heavier then mine (we have the same phones)
I just told him that his phone gets heavier with every apps he installs.
1 week later he meets me outside the office and tells me he deleted a lot of apps and his phone is actually lighter know.
Sometimes I just want to cry 😂😂😂12 -
Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!11 -
Phone call...
Caller: we contact you to arrange an interview for Java developer position, what time is good with you?
Me: Sorry Sir, I am javascript developer not Java developer!
Caller: You mentioned in your CV that you are using Java and Ayax for building applications!
Me: Trust me Sir, I don't have any relationship with your Ayax...
Caller: No problem, we can discuss this small technical difference in the interview. When you are available for it?
Me: No Sir, I am not available.7 -
Never trust a hot chick that tell you "Wow you are a programmer? Tell me about it"
ATTENTION: DON'T TELL HER ABOUT IT8 -
So was first day at new job ... Boss takes me around meeting everyone. One employee stuck editing file by typing in new records data, calls boss for help.
Boss to me: "I like to get handsy with data from time to time. "
*me smiling, watch how he copies and paste the new records*
ME to boss:"why don't you just write the script to update all the records?"
Boss:"I don't trust the automation of input. "
Me:" what about human error?"
*crowd of other employees gather around awaiting answer*
Boss:"we include margin of errors in our disclaimer to the client... "
*He hears himself*
Boss:"... and we bill by the hour why would we work faster for less money?"
*me grinning, going to remember that line next time I need extension of deadline*
Me*murmurs*:" Master has presented dobby with a sock"
*Girl in next cubicle snickers clearly caught the reference "
Going to love it here.3 -
Current PM in the morning: "Startup flexibility! I'm at the beach chilling in the sun! I trust you can do standup without me! #tech-detox #positive-energy"
Current PM in the afternoon: "ARE ALL THE FUCKING TASKS FUCKING DONE YET? THERE ARE ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT IN THE FUCKING SPRINT! WHY HAS NOTHING BEEN DEPLOYED YET?"
This is why I hate wireless earbuds: You don't have a wire available for strangling coworkers.13 -
Lead dev walks in:
"Remember what I said about doing dumb shit solutions in languages that no one understands?"
Me: "Yes.....why?"
Him: "That reporting script you did for <x department> needs some modifications and you decided for whatever fucking obscure reason to do it in perl"
Me: "I felt......experimental"
Him: "Well yes, that is cool and all but it needs some modifications as per <X director> and only your dumbass knows perl because you are just too fucking cute aren't ya?"
Me: "You think I am cute??? <insert spongebob blushing meme>"
Him: "I fucking hate it when you write shit in perl"
In my defense, it was a really short fucking script
For clarification: This was a friendly convo even though it doesn't sound like it. He is actually my employee, and a rather close friend, so there is that level of trust and comraderie29 -
Why is it that every time I tell someone I code they instantly think I can hack into things like their phones. Then after that they never trust me with any electronic device.
Me: Hey can I use the toaster?
Them: No! Your just going to hack it.5 -
Guy: I don't trust password managers
Me: so how do you remember passwords?
Guy: oh, I just keep them in a note in the iPhone notes app/iCloud.9 -
I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...
Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!8 -
Apparently some trust fund kid from my uni is now a CEO - I guess it's nice when your daddy buys you a startup for Christmas.
Makes me wonder if I wasted my good years working hard on my skills instead of getting myself a "daddy".38 -
This fucktard of a 'stick that facility management up your arse' manager.
He insisted 'no cooling required. Trust me'.
While we insisted 'how dare you to asume our servers temperatures'!
We moved our servers to a new /tmp/office/ yesterday. Was quite fun, until we saw this...
Doorhandle is hot as fuck, 50 degrees air temperature, all servers in heat error state. Thank you, you damn fucktards! Take this cactus 🌵 and stick it up your arse!!
Can't work like that.
13 -
Appreciation post.
Fucking love Amazon even more now.
Story -
I created a new Aws account and they asked me to pay ₹2 (0.031$) as part of the verification process.
No big deal right?
2 days later, I got a notification saying - "Your account has been credited with ₹2.66"
Not only they returned me my money, but they also paid a certain interest with it too.
And the fact that they are taking care of their dev community (as if we are their customers) is appreciable.
Amazon - you bloody have my respect. I trust you.
No big deal7 -
"Tabs create smaller file sizes. I run a compression company, trust me, I've devoted my life to minimalizing file sizes."
- Richard Hendricks10 -
🙁
Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...
1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....
To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.
I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...30 -
Friend: dude, JavaScript seems awesome. It looks so easy and there aren't any annoying compiler errors like in Java
Me: I know it sounds cool in theory, but it sucks in practice, trust me
Friend: no way, dynamically typed languages are the future
*Friend installs node*
*Friend writes a simple script*
*Friend gets undefined errors because of a few typos and has a hard time debugging it*
Friend: JavaScript is retarded
-_-13 -
Stop bitching about having to write comments, they are important whether you like it or not. Trust me nobodys code is "that good" 😒4
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Manual Data Entry: Most boring job
This reminds me of one conversation with one of my faculty..
Faculty: Why not try some Machine Learning Project?
Me: Cool. Any ideas you have already thought
Faculty: Comes up with a really noble idea
Me: Awesome idea. But we need data
Faculty: Don't worry. I will get it. Just help me setup Hadoop (see the irony.. no data yet, and he wants big data setup)
Me: But we don't have data. Let's focus of data collection, Sir
Faculty: I will get it. Don't worry. Trust me.
( I did setup for him twice coz he formatted the system on which I did the setup first time)
After 6 months,
Me: (same question) Sir, Data??
Faculty: I got it.
Me: Great. Give me, I can start looking into it from today.
Faculty: Actually, it's in a register written manually in a different language (which even I can't understand) I will hire data entry guys to convert it into English digital contents.
Me: *facepalm*
Road to Manual data entry to Big Data
Dedicating this pencil to the individuals keeping the register up to date and Sir in hopes of converting it into big data..
Long way to go..
4 -
Just spent 3 hours trying to debug something that worked yesterday because SOMEONE thought he had a better idea of how to do it. Holy fucking shit. It worked perfectly and you started deleting my code because you didn't understand it. How about trusting that I know what I'm doing since idk I spent 2 weeks reading up on it to be able to write this. What pisses me off the most is knowing he only does this to my code because he doesn't trust me as I am a) younger than him and b) a woman.
STOP ALREADY. JUST FUCKING STOP. So fucking fed up with having my work scrapped in favor of yours because you are a fucking control freak and think I'm stupid.29 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
Don't work late/during the weekend because someone else committed to an impossible deadline. Trust me. It's not worth it.3
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Week 278: Most rage-inducing work experience — I’ve got a list saved! At least from the current circle of hell. I might post a few more under this tag later…
TicketA: Do this in locations a-e.
TicketB: Do this in locations e-h.
TicketC: Do this in locations i-k.
Root: There’s actually a-x, but okay. They’re all done.
Product: You didn’t address location e in ticket B! We can’t trust you to do your tickets right. Did you even test this?
Root: Did you check TicketA? It’s in TicketA.
Product guy: It was called out in TicketB! How did you miss it?!
Product guy: (Refuses to respond or speak to me, quite literally ever again.)
Product guy to everyone in private: Don’t trust Root. Don’t give her any tickets.
Product manager to boss: Root doesn’t complete her tickets! We can’t trust her. Don’t give her our tickets.
Product manager to TC: We can’t trust Root. Don’t give her our tickets.
TC: Nobody can trust you! Not even the execs! You need to rebuild your reputation.
Root: Asks coworker a simple question.
Root: Asks again.
Root: nudges them.
Root: Asks again.
Coworker: I’ll respond before tomorrow. (And doesn’t.)
Root: Asks again.
Root: Fine. I’ll figure it out in my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!
Root: Asks four people about <feature> they all built.
Everyone: idk
Root: Okay, I’ll figure it out on my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!
Root: Mentions multiple meetings to discuss ticket with <Person>.
TC: You called <Person> stupid and useless in front of the whole team! Go apologize!
Root: Tells TC something. Asks a simple question.
Root: Tells TC the same thing. Asks again.
TC: (No response for days.)
TC: Tells me the exact same thing publicly like it’s a revelation and I’m stupid for not knowing.
TC: You don’t communicate well!
Root: Asks who the end user of my ticket is.
Root: Asks Boss.
Root: Asks TC.
Root: Fine, I’ll build it for both.
Root: Asks again in PR.
TC: Derides; doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks again, clearly, with explanation.
TC: Copypastes the derision, still doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks boss.
Boss: Doesn’t answer.
Boss: You need to work on your communication skills.
Root: Mentions asking question about blocker to <Person> and not hearing back. Mentions following up later.
<Person>: Gets offended. Refuses to respond for weeks thereafter.
Root: Hey boss, there’s a ticket for a minor prod issue. Is that higher priority than my current ticket?
Root: Hey, should I switch tickets?
Root: Hey?
Root: … Okay, I’ll just keep on my current one.
Boss: You need to work on your priorities.
Everyone: (Endless circlejerking and drama and tattling)6 -
Trust me, I've been doing this for years.
Best way to deal with numbers in JavaScript:
let x = "1"
x += "1" // add one
x.length // get value of number, 24 -
My girlfriend asked me to take her to somewhere she hasn't been when I asked, 'where do you wanna go for anniversary?'
So I took her to Github.com 🤣
Trust me, I had to pay a big price for that joke! 😏4 -
Don't put a hack and leave comments like "// HACK: Remove this later". It's gonna stay there forever. Trust me. Do clean codes from the start!2
-
Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.9 -
A teacher from high school.
I finish the assignment early, shit on everyone’s head in terms of speed and performances and this guy first praises me, then slams the keyboard with random chars, letters and weird shit in an application which was supposed to only accept numbers.
“But… the requirements said…”
“I’m your manager and I am dumb af. Trust me, this will happen a lot irl.”4 -
Looking for jobs..
Position: Junior Java Developer
Requiements: Minimum 3 years experience with JEE, Applikations-Server, Persistenz, Open Source Frameworks, Web Services
Honey, trust me, if I had 3 years experience I wouldn't be applying to junior positions.
Job descriptions like this make me so MAD!5 -
nephew: what's the meaning of word "Enterprise", particularly in computing context?
me: No worries about that. Once You endup in enterprise You will know
nephew: How do I know?
me: when bug in your software prevent at least 250 people from doing their job, congratz, You are in Enterprise! And You will know that instantaneously, trust me :)2 -
What programming has taught me:
Never trust yourself, never trust your code...
And never believe that when it was working in the past, it would work again...2 -
I’m working for fucking idiots. Here is an actual conversation I had with my boss today.
Me: I checked the numbers, and barely anyone is using our app more than once. Not only is a minuscule amount of people downloading it (we have 300 downloads), but none of those people use it more than once. Use retention is important and we’re failing in that regard.
Boss: User retention doesn’t matter. Investors don’t care about that. Blah blah blah all we need is marketing blah blah. We just need a bunch of people to download once. That’s all that marketers care about....in fact, an potential investor himself told me that he doesn’t care (obvious lie)
Me: Well, can I talk to this investor? What’s his name? Is he in California or India/China?
Boss: oh you can’t be at the investor meeting. It’s high level. Just don’t worry about it. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
On the bright side, this whole exchange has motivated me even more in my quest to find a new job. And I guess it’s important to learn what not to do from idiots6 -
post != rant;
post = "Feature Request";
@dfox
Stack Overflow is full of abuntch of downvoteing dickbuts. The devrant community is so much more accepting of new devs, why not add a question section.
Down votes would only be allowed for spammers.
One the question was solved, it would go into the devrant question archive, Searchable by everyone.
Ik you have heard this one before, but it's Just my two cents.9 -
So today was the worst day of my whole (just started) career.
We have a huge client like 700k users. Two weeks ago we migrated all their services to our aws infrastructure. I basically did most of the work because I'm the most skilled in it (not sure anymore).
Today I discovered:
- Mail cron was configured the wrong way so 3000 emails where waiting to be sent.
- The elastic search service wasn't yet whitelisted so didn't work for two weeks.
- The cron which syncs data between production db en testing db only partly worked.
Just fucking end me. Makes me wonder what other things are broken. I still have a lot to learn... And I might have fucked their trust in me for a bit.13 -
So my boss booked me a spot at a conference about "the future of online payments" and I received an email with auto created account (there was no sign up) with a clear text password.
I'm feeling pretty confident that I can trust them to guide and advise me on best practices when it comes to handling sensitive information.
8 -
Beware of office politics. Take it from me. Beware whom you trust in the workplace. Sometimes you won't detect it and they will prey on your innocence. You thought they're good but really is not. Back stabbers.8
-
so my parents live close and my dad said his router died. I told him I had a spare. I loaded it dd-wrt on there and next time I went over there he asked about opening a port. I said I could do it for him. wouldn't let me touch it. he believes he is the computer genius and that I would brake it.
funny part is I work on servers for huge companies like Wells Fargo, Ally Bank and tons of others. I can configure a rack mount router but he doesn't trust me to touch a little crappy home linksys router lol.
no matter how smart you are they never want to admit their kid knows more about tech than they do.4 -
It's easy to multitask these two things.
"Being" a programmer and "being" single.
Trust me, there are no easier ones than these.1 -
You left me a tiny hole to look through, I can’t even PUT FUCKING AWAY that garbage and you expect me to trust you on design! Fuck you!
3 -
“Get the code working first, then worry about how to clean and optimize it.”
For me when I learnt about optimization and how one thing was better than something else, I tended to focus on that. I’d have a picture of that in my mind, and would try to write as clean of code with less hacks in the middle and as optimized as I could in the first go, which slowed me the way fuck down.
After he said that to me, I realized I was stupid and just wasting time if I worried about that from the start. Would waste time, and just cause more headaches from the start than it was worth.
——
Oh also another one, I knew never to trust the client from the start but the way he said it was funny. “Never ever trust the fucking client, don’t trust them with anything. I trust Satan more than I trust the client.” 😂7 -
In the last project i worked in, the product owner wouldn't treat people as people but as resources.
The problem with that is you just look at people and their work in terms of a checklist and remain blind about real humans face.
She wouldn't understand the challenges of building something with an absolutely new stack which people needed to learn from scratch and put pieces together. She wouldn't be supportive of people trying out things and fail.
One fine day I told her that I was spending too much time on meetings and i should be excluding that time from available sprint timings.. she made me open my calendar in a screenshare session with all team members. Made me go through go through every meeting invite i had on calender and ordered which ones should i be attending from then and which ones i wont. That was insulting. It broke the trust.
I decided to not work with the project. Stopped putting my heart and soul into it and eventually got out of it in a month time.
Don't put your team into a position like this ever. You have to trust them with the problems they face and try to find a solution. Scrutinizing and micro management will always kill the team.1 -
DATA COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SERVER AND AN APP..
1. Write all data into files,
2. Make the files as zip,
3. Send the zip to server,
4. Server will unzip the zip file,
5. Read all the data line by line from the files and update the data.
** TRUST ME, THIS IS A PRODUCTION APP I HAVE SEEN FROM A CLIENT **7 -
Listen, I get you're a junior.
But please read the fucking spec I spent quite some time on writing for you before you ask me a bunch of irrelevant questions, which you know would be irrelevant IF YOU READ THE SPEC!
Trust me.
Read the spec.
It will be clear.7 -
So I was interviewing at company X, through recruiter A. It all went well - one of the best feedbacks I have ever received actually, but then they went quiet for a bit... only to have the recruiter A call me about 3 days later and tell me that apparently the project they had planned to get me on, was a no go for a while and that they would contact me again within a month or so.
Meanwhile, recruiter B called me up and sent me to company Y and asked me what my situation was at other interviews. I said that I was interviewing at company X and that they came back to me and said the project is delayed and they'll contact me within a month or so.
Recruiter B starts a rant about how he hates when companies do that and that he, as a recruiter, would loose trust in that company if something like that happened.
And now company Y goes quiet for 2 days. Recruiter B calls me and says exactly the same thing.
So naturally, I say - "ah that's a shame, you must be loosing trust in company Y now."
He pauses and says - "Well umm"... another big pause. "I see what you mean, but umm..." another pause and this awkward silence.
"thanks", I said and I hung up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯7 -
*based on a true story*
Co-worker: Let's release it
Me: Wait, I want to add just a little feature
Co-worker: Is it necessary?
Me: Trust me
*5 minutes later*
Co-worker: So, have you finished implementing your "little feature"?
Me: Yeah, well, it's done. Maybe.
Co-worker: What the hell have you done?
Me: MAYBE I've added 647 lines of codes to the file to implement my little feature, MAYBE it doesn't works and MAYBE the entire project is compromised
Co-worker: ah3 -
!rant
Anyone work at a place where you think you could leave $20 on your desk, go on vacation, and it would still be there?16 -
This is what being a security enthusiast does to you.
A little background : This is our team's designer who asked me to send him one of my pictures to put on my ID Card (that he is designing) for the event that I'm organizing along with my team. I have known him for about 2 years now but well, security awareness gave me trust issues because I apparently asked him to delete the picture he is finally using for my ID Card after he is done with the work. He must be thinking I'm crazy.
P.s. I still don't know if he actually deleted it or not but let's just give him the benefit of doubt and try to live in oblivion.
19 -
Reminder that you shouldn't trust head hunters.
I reached out to one a month or two back, because I knew they had worked with Company X in the past, and I figured they might get me a more direct line to HR.
They said company X wasn't hiring, that I should apply to Y and Z.
I started working at company X on Monday. They only wanted me to apply to Y and Z because those are the positions that recruiter was specifically trying to fill.
Recruiters are not your friend. They do not have your best interests at heart. They can be useful, but don't trust them.1 -
Co-worker: dude, I need your help!
Me: all yours.
Co-worker: can't fix that sh$t over here.
[IDE]
Err on line~~
badFunction(...);
Me: piece of cake, gimme your keyboard.
[IDE]
Build successeful.
Co-worker: duuude, how did you...???
Me: Better not look.
Co-worker: but I am curious to know, ya know
Me: promise not to scream, k?
Co-worker: I just hope it's none of your old-stylish jokes.
Me: oh dude, you know me for years, trust me, it's fine.
Co-worker: -_-
5 -
While working with an older programmer,
Me: "Hey Randall, get latest version, I made a checkin"
10 minutes later...
Me: "Hey Randall did my fix work for you?"
Randall: "I'm still going through TFS looking for NO's"
Look at his screen, he is manually going through the file structure, checking the version of each file
Me: "You know you can get latest version of the folder"
Randall: "You can't always trust that, I've had problems with it in the past"
Me: (insert hair pull emoji)2 -
While I am self employed, my clients can end up like my boss. In this case, one of my clients is the best "boss" I have ever had. We discuss everything from ethics to npm to development to board games. And we still get the job done.
He challenges me constantly to improve, and then we laugh over how we disagree with concepts, frameworks, etc. And we still get the job done.
It's fantastic to have a client who understands that you should be paid for your time, that lets you get what they hired you to do done without micro managing you (you trust me to actually do what you hired me to do? *gasp, shock*), and still enjoys the small talk. Though some of our ethics and society discussions can be rather large discussions.3 -
A mate from highschool contacted me the other day, offering me a job on this grand new idea he had.
So I said: "Allright, lets hear it, whats the idea?"
Him: "Trust me, its the next billion dollar app! It is a whole new social network for..."2 -
Coworker made a tool to automate part of our job and she sent it to me. After 5 seconds of using it I found a bug... she has been using it for weeks. Now I don't trust anything she has done around here. (It's a financial tool and the bug is changing certain numbers to negative so it subtracts instead of adds...)5
-
I'm nearly crying today. 1 and half year ago I started my own business (gaming and android app dev company). Today I own an office and hired another person to help me. Why it took me 1,5 goddamn year to realize that working alone from my bedroom on 4-5 projects at the same time is not healthy nor productive in the long run? It seems that this shit took some self growth to realize that I can actually trust other human beings.7
-
- Team_leader_1: I know you're a frontend developer, but trust me NodeJS has threads :) sync operations don't block the main thread :)
- Team_leader_2: You need to study the theory :) NodeJs can handle further operations during the sync function :) it spawns a new thread, you haven't studied Javascript well enough :)
- Me, very ready to dab on 2 condescending little fucks:
16 -
I hate being on call when all directors and c-suite are unable to work because their systems went down.
At least they trust me and let me work. It's just stressful. -
Today at work I saw 2 tech guys (Russians) that tried to fix an audio system at my hospital clinic.
The PL-3.5 cable was unable to transfer any sound to the speakers from the secretary PC.
So they tried to plug it into one of their phones, to rule out the possibility that it is because of the PC headphones plug.
(The speaker volume currently is on *maximum* btw)
1st guy said "Let's play something nice and relaxing, so the patients (mostly old people) won't get an heart attack"
The 2nd ask "So what should I search in YouTube?"
Then the 1st said "Metallica"4 -
Why do people jump from c to python quickly. And all are about machine learning. Free days back my cousin asked me for books to learn python.
Trust me you have to learn c before python. People struggle going from python to c. But no ml, scripting,
And most importantly software engineering wtf?
Software engineering is how to run projects and it is compulsory to learn python and no mention of got it any other vcs, wtf?
What the hell is that type of college. Trust me I am no way saying python is weak, but for learning purpose the depth of language and concepts like pass by reference, memory leaks, pointers.
And learning algorithms, data structures, is more important than machine learning, trust me if you cannot model the data, get proper training data, testing data then you will get screewed up outputs. And then again every one who hype these kinds of stuff also think that ml with 100% accuracy is greater than 90% and overfit the data, test the model on training data. And mostly the will learn in college will be by hearting few formulas, that's it.
Learn a language (concepts in language) like then you will most languages are easy.
Cool cs programmer are born today😖
31 -
Me: I want to be a dev..
Mom: But you only sit in front of the computer to play games.
Me: That's not what I always do.
Mom: Then why are you sitting behind the computer all the time.
Me: To make software. Most of the time you clearly see me typing code.
Mom: No, I can't trust you, you play too much games. Study hard and get another job.
Me: *Middle finger behind a back.*5 -
Frontend dev for 10+ years here.
"We can't afford to hire you as a senior, so your job title will be 'Frontend Developer' and your tasks will carry less responsibility than expected from a senior"
One year in, team of 2 handling 3 projects.
After merging with the parent company, we got business cards, mine describe me as a "Senior Frontend UI Engineer".
"Well, our customers only trust seniors, otherwise we can't send you to them".
Meanwhile a former colleague earns >1000€ more a month.
Yeah, fuck you too bosses!3 -
I've been working in a company for two tears, builsing it from ground up as a CTO with a CEO and COO. Two years in, with 60 people on board I was managing a project which was bringing serious profit into the company, and they decided to cut me off. Reason: they don't trust me anymore, real reason: CEO wanted more money for himself and less money control from me and the other guy.
Turned out fine as it made me start my own business.1 -
When you see what worked for someone else with a similar issue on GitHub and run it.
Trust me, I hope I know what I'm doing too.
1 -
Hey! How do I do machine learning?
Well first you start off with a metric shit ton of data.
And then you .fit() your data
from there you can .predict() your data
Trust me, the algorithms are already there. All you need to do is get the data.7 -
As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts
1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying
2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you
3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.
4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth9 -
I left my previous company because my tech leadership was insensitive and agressive.
However, I am in a start-up right now and CTO is a nut job.
He creates random Slack threads and keeps messaging me like crazy. The co-founders have shut him down multiple times and yet his only success metric is "number of deliveries".
The other day something broke in production and teams were discussing about resolving the bug in one of the Slack channels.
CTO literally wrote this and I wish I was making this up, "let us not look at the logs and trust our code to work fine."
I was baffled and confused. I realised me leaving my previous organisation because of such tech leadership was a stupid decision.
Crows are black everywhere.5 -
The one time a piece of software I was semi-responsible for maybe had been compromised. But I was student dev so I wasn't even brought into the meeting despite being the only person in the entire organization who knew how it worked. Gr8 politics, glad you hennies trust me. They came out and a good colleague of mine was brave enough to come over and ask if maybe I knew how this and that worked and I could clear up the confusion they spent 45 minutes on in 20 seconds 🙃6
-
This is why you don't want to have Dev gf. Unless you like emotional Rollercoasters. Trust me, had one...
26 -
Ya boi got a new vehicle. Its an SUV(cuz i got kids) a nissan murano 2017, maaaan this one is a good vehicle.
When I leave the truck on and I take the keys with me it makes this little beeping sound. And because I am weird I like to say: "ah, sentry mode"
I spent 10 years driving a Honda Civic. Not gon a lie, it was a really good car and it never gave me any issues. But it was starting to show its wear and tear and I didn't trust it for a long trip sort of deal.
Is this dev related? Fuck no, I was just fixing to be random and te y'all I got a new vehicle.
Texas14 -
!dev
Following https://devrant.com/rants/2240860/...
I get kicked out of my fucking house because my house”mates” just pissed off without paying rent or finding someone to replace them in time.
Great.. really fucking awesome.
There’s nothing else available in my town and I have time till the end of the month.
Thanks for that asshole.
Never, ever sharing a house / apartment again.
I’m better off doing my own thing.
Fucking lonely as I’m used to be but at least there’s no one to stab me in the back.1 -
First website with React JS:
After a month of studying on React I am finally building a commercial website with it. When I started learning React with redux and react router it felt so unnecessarily complex.
But trust me guys, all it takes is patience. Once you learn it creating a Web app is a breeze. And everything eventually makes so much sense. I'm so glad that I didn't give up and if you in the same position , DON'T GIVE UP. You'll eventually realise how amazing react is.9 -
My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
Genius! xD
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3 -
2 leetcode hard questions in 60 mins. That's what I faced in few company interviews. Trust me, if that's the expectation you're having from candidate, you're looking for a leetcode monkey but not a software engineer!
To the interviewers who have such unrealistic expectations, please change your mindset. It's literally impossible to come up with optimal solutions to 2 leetcode hards in 60 mins if I haven't solved those problems before! It just becomes a memorization game not a problem solving round!!!
:)2 -
Dear Swift, we have to break up. I’ve found a new language to love. Oh don’t act so surprised, you know our relationship was on shaky ground. You never let me have any fun. You’re always telling me what to do and how to do it and I’ve had enough. You treat me like a child, and I’m moving on.
Things were good in the beginning, and you may have impressed me with your automatic reference counting, but my new language can do that too, and so much more, and does it faster than you could ever imagine. You see unlike you, my new language doesn’t boss me around. It *trusts* me, Swift. That’s the one thing you never could understand. I need to be trusted; and know that I can trust in you.
Well I can’t. Not anymore, Swift. It’s over. My new language just treats me better than you ever could. I’m sorry it came to this but I deserve better than you Swift. We’ve both known this for a long time.
I wish you the best, but you probably shouldn’t call.
I’m with Rust now.1 -
The best comment I ever read in the production...
/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to "optimize" the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/ -
!rant Scheduled Slack message from myself after hours to myself during work hours:
“Hey idiot,
The thing you need to do is [solution]. Trust me.
Sincerely,
Past you
PS: Drink some gd water.”
*followed by panicked double-checking I’d actually sent it to myself and not a coworker*2 -
I'm the kind of dev who is willing to overtime because I enjoy coding. But my previous boss (owner) abused this opportunity and thinks he can call me whenever he wants. After my shift, he would be surprise if I go home immediately and ask If I will be working at home. He even called me while I'm in vacation (he wants me to work on a new feature). I already filed my leave 3mos before that. He is very manipulative to the other devs and doesn't even trust his managers.3
-
This one is interesting
- 9 to 5 (including breaks) aka WLB
- Building products in my area of passion (Music, Art, or Travel)
- High paying (I don't care for those perks like free food or bean bags)
- Enough vacations without judgement
- Continuous innovation (fuck your 1830s product)
- Good social capital (teams should trust me for my decisions)
- WFH where I can opt to go in to office whenever I want (so that I can build my awesome battle rig at home)21 -
Dear "Create a web API with ASP.NET Core" official MS tutorial:
you betrayed me. I came to you like an innocent child and you fucked me over, you abused my trust, forcing me to follow insane instructions leading to no result other than the loss of my childhood and my day.
I feel like a child raped by some perv-priest or monster father.
I had a soul ready for a space walk,
and now I have just a hole full of your cock1 -
My boss has been begging me migrate a nightmarish complex excel report he made to calculate the payout of a tiered rebates program with compounding rewards. Today I finally decided to make take the time and I sat down with him so he could break it down for me...
Me: *looking at the mess of formula's* it would be easier to rewrite the math than decode this - can you just give me the reward rules... where does that value in cellX come from?
Him:*pointing at the spreadsheet* There! All the rules are in there for you :-)... like it's some big favour...
Me:No I mean when you wrote this, what did you base this off? There must be something...
Him: *Very Gravely* No, no, no it's far to complex! It took me ages to get this sheet right and it balances so just trust me and use it ok?
At this point I will mention he's an accountant so yeah I fucking trust him... fast forward past 15 minutes of digging through what may as well be quantum theory and lo and fucking behold all 2 sheets and 100 calculations are mathematically fucking pointless. Aside from formulas like this:
$X10=+(((O10+P10)-((O10+P10)*$X$3))*$R$4)+T10
which is actually equal to (X10/R4)/L10.
Anyway once you compound and sum the "tiered" benefits the rewards payout is ALWAYS = customerSpend*1.81.
This is why programmers name variables. -
RANT.RANT.RANT.
So I have a fucking groupmate for our degree project and he's been constantly bugging on my neck asking me to do things. The problem with him is that he constantly reminds me of the things that I should be doing and he seems like he wants the thing to be done all himself. Basically, he doesn't trust me that I could deliver whatever he asks me to do. He keeps on micromanaging me from time to time and he seems like he wants to control my life altogether! Fuck this.
Oh and another, whenever he asks for opinion, whatever you say doesn't even fucking matter. He dismisses it immediately anyway and goes with whatever he thinks.
Seriously, fuck this!!! I can't keep calm and I need to constantly check on my posture! (Forgot the right term...) Uhhhh halp5 -
Predominantly a Microsoft Stack Dev, used Windows for the last 14 years.
Switched to linux mint for the last couple of weeks. Trust me its a breath of fresh air. Fast and smooth. True to its promises, minds its business.
Windows is nothing but a cranky, annoying, slow talking bitch!13 -
Looks like Matrix just got educated on hiding administrative stuff behind a VPN, by the guy (or gal, but those don't exist on the internet) that hacked their production infrastructure. Coincidentally, it reminded me of that time when a dev wanted to educate me, a sysadmin, about VPN's 😄
https://devrant.com/rants/2030041
What I've learned from this incident are 2 things.. well mainly 2 things.
1. Never *ever* entrust developers with production access. Let DevOps take care of the glue that sticks dev and prod together.
2. Trust nobody's competence but your own. Matrix was advertised as "highly secure", and then they do a fuckup like this. Only trust yourself, and ensure that you're in control.4 -
Anyone else have trouble with real life common sense?
Story time:
Yesterday Evening a dog chased my best mate's cat up a tree. Being the genius I am, I decided to climb after the adorable bugger. Fell from about 8-10ft onto concrete slabs on my back.
Main thing first: I got lucky, CTs and X-rays showed no lasting damage. I'm back home and safe now.
What got me was going through the hospital having to hear the story of how I fell out of a tree onto my back and head like an idiot... from medical person to medical person.
I was lying in the bed, thinking "I swear I'm competent!? Why do people trust me!?"
Does anyone else have any weird skill black spots, or common sense break downs?7 -
I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.8 -
Someone asked me to help him with his assignment and this happened.. trust me I'm not drunk
"mid ka next" means "next of mid"
8 -
Discovered pro tip of my life :
Never trust your code
Achievements unlocked :
Successfully running C++ GPU accelerated offscreen rendering engine with texture loading code having faulty validation bug over a year on production for more than 1.5M daily Android active users without any issues.
History : Recently I was writing a new rendering engineering that uses our GPU pipeline engine.. and our prototype android app benchmark test always fails with black rendering frame detection assertion.
Practice:
Spend more than a month to debug a GPU pipeline system based on directed acyclic graph based rendering algorithm.
New abilities added :
Able to debug OpenGL ES code on Android using print statement placed in source code using binary search.
But why?
I was aware of the issue over a month and just ignored it thinking it's a driver bug in my android device.. but when the api was used by one of Android dev, he reported the same issue. In the same day at night 2:59AM ....
Satan came to me and told me that " ok listen man, here is what I am gonna do with you today, your new code will be going production in a week, and the renderer will give you just one black frame after random time, and after today 3AM, your code will not show GL Errors if you debug or trace. Buhahahaha ahhaha haahha..... Puffff"
And he was gone..
Thanks satan for not killing me.. I will not trust stable production code anymore enevn though every line is documented and peer reviewed. -
So fed up of existing.
I am not saying that I am suicidal, but if a truck was accelerating towards me, I would not bother to move.
Even though I consider myself decently successful in life in terms of career, friendship, and to some extent, family. I strongly feel that I am in a very wrong environment.
I have zero trust, safety, love, and nurturing care from my parents and others around me.
I lack physical privacy, psychological safety, and emotional void.
My hypothesis is that if I was in a better environment with slightly lesser responsibilities and needs better met, I could have achieved wonders. With that, who wouldn't?
Why do we exist? Just to suffer?28 -
What to do when you only think about suicide...
I'm so frustrated about my situation... 3 years with a burn out, My boss keeps treating me badly, no one cares enouf to help, can't go to the owners of the company or else my dad will turn his back on me,...
So saturated
So tired of only suffer
No personal life
On my limits...
One more and I may just cut my rists in front of my jerk boss just so he won't forget of what he did to me...
Saw Start wars Ep VII yesterday... that scene with a bloddy hand on a storm trooper's helmet cames to my head everytime I think about it lol
Wish I had no family... so I wouldn't feel guilty and just get on with it.
Sory for the sad post... have to trow it out and I only trust devrant to do it.... (and not having 20 people following me and never leaving me alone)22 -
Working as a part time student on an app and until now I thought I was the king of software development.
Well, fuck me and my high horse.
Today the stuff we send from the client to the server didn't arrive, so I asked the backend guy if he could take a look at the packages arriving. He did and told me the data was messed up.
I did only design stuff the last week or so, so I was very confused. After reverting back to one old commit after the other it struck me.
I still don't know how such a dumb mistake could have happened to me, the king of Android apps, but apparently I replaced all occurrences of a specific keyword in just the strings and comments of the whole project. Key became KeyList, so instead of <Keys> my XML contained <KeyList> which made no goddamn sense whatsoever.
Did I mention that we have an important deadline tomorrow? Yeah...
So now I leaned my lesson. Never trust XML.
JK I'm dumb. That's the lesson here. -
I backup my home partition everyday at 9 pm.
Feels good.
You should also.
You don't want to remember this post when it's too late..1 -
Not Speaking The Same Programming Language
(It is the mid 80s, and I have a coworker come to me with two full pages of computer programming source code.)
Coworker: “Hey, can you help me with this? This function is not working right.”
Me: “Sure. What’s it do?”
Coworker: “Well, on the first line I copy…” *drones on for a few seconds about stuff I can clearly read*
Me: “Wait! Let me interrupt for a moment. I can read the code. In 20 words or less, what does this do?“
Coworker: *long pause that tells me he’s having trouble seeing the forest for the trees* “It, um, converts a date that’s a string to three integers: month, day, and year.”
Me: “Ah! Excellent. And by the time you get the string, has it been sanitized? You know, guaranteed to be pairs of digits with a slash in-between, not blanks or words or other garbage?”
Coworker: “Oh, yeah, all the user input is cleaned up.”
Me: “Okay, good.”
(I scribble “sscanf(text, “%02d/%02d/%02d”, &month, &day, &year);” in a blank spot on the page.)
Me: “Throw out everything and replace it with that.”
Coworker: “You’re kidding.”
Me: “Not at all. Use that. It’ll work. Trust me.”
Coworker: *not sure* “Well, okay.”
(Half an hour later he’s back and looking a bit sheepish.)
Coworker: “That worked. Thanks.”
Me: “No problem.”
(It’s been 30 years. Unfortunately, the new generation of programmers is in the same spot.)
https://notalwaysright.com/not-spea...2 -
Well, I have a friend working on a major bank in my city. Yesterday we went for a coffee when he told me that the wifi connection that the costumers can use is the same as the network they work in. Like, are you fucking me? Do they know what security means? Jesus Wallace, wake up!
And they have a fucking "web security guy" working there. Doing what? Installing ccleaner on pcs? This shit gets me mad. And that's why I don't trust banks.4 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' a fellow co-worker decided that had duplicated data on Relational DB is good!
- Dev: 'but what if we have 2 companies in diferents groups?''
- co-worker: 'Just call it company A and Company B'
- Dev: 'but... this is not what...'
- co-worker: 'Trust me Dev, is the easy way'
I want the professional way, not the easy (and damn wrong) way :(, I can't improve myself like this.
Also, dead line is here too... TT^TT
Last sprint and still with doubts about the DB structure.12 -
Last year my boss made me develop a way to "creatively" feature ads on our online magazine.
It was a piano keyboard. Yes, I created a pure HTML and CSS piano. Every key had a small title, when HOVERED emitted a sound (tuned on D btw ) and when clicked opened a pop up with the ad content. We tried a black and white piano and also a rainbow-like coloured one.
I strongly advised against everything. We're small and I have a good relationship that soured because he thought I was just being lazy.
Guess what happened? Advertisers saw the live piano and ran away. Hours and hours of development thrown away.
Please. Trust your front-end developer.3 -
Im seriously thinking about Watercooling my Raspberry Pi 3...
Why?
BRCAUSE THIS LIL SHIT RUNS SO FUCKING HOT THAT I CAN MAKE AN EGG ON IT! THATS WHY!
Its 80°C when under little load BUT GOES OVER FUCKING 90°C ON LOAD! AND THIS IS FUCKING DANGEROUS! FUCK!
so back to watercooling...
Its a Stupid idea, I know, but its literally THE ONLY FUCKING WAY TO COOL THIS BASTARD! And trust me I tried Novec (Yes the liquid that evaporates at 60°C...) and SHITS EXPENSIVE!12 -
Is anyone else get irritated while upgrading apps and seeing changelogs as:
1. minor improvements
2. performance boost
3. information not provided by the dev
4. repeating changelogs from the past few updates.
just tell me what minor improvement u fixed?
where performance is boost?
how can I trust if tomorrow you decide to add some malicious code.
I don't know but it really irritates me. Sometimes I don't even upgrade the app until they have something in the changelog.
Maybe because I am getting old now.9 -
My girl friend was complaining that I care more about programming than her.
I told her,
"Trust me baby, in the array of my interests you are [1]."
She was satisfied.4 -
dev: “I want to start working on [feature]”
Me: “I already started to work on it, sorry for not mentioning it, we need specs from design team before I can go on, but I’d suggest going for another task meanwhile”
Manager: “noooo design is very very busy, [dev] will take care of it.”
Me: “[dev] still needs specs from the design team... and I am half done with it so no real point in re-writing the same code I wrote”
Manager: “just trust me, we do this and [dev] takes care of it.”
*me and [dev] look at each other perplexed and just nod to the manager cause it’s Thursday and the fucks to give are over*
... am I actually a patient in an asylum? I question my sanity after this exchange of words.2 -
I used to think my first relationship was awful. I went through so much and rather it served as a trigger for my childhood trauma as well.
Little did I know that it would be the best the thing that could happen to me. I grew so much and every next woman I met, I realised how fucking amazing my ex is. God I miss her terribly.
But what happened with my recent fuck up, I am devastated. This toxic women brought out the worst in me. I have never been so hateful against myself or anyone else in the world.
I was love bombed and walked into a trap. I quit as soon as I realised what it was.
My values were comprised. My integrity was put to test. My trust was intentionally broken. During the initial days, she tactically identified my vulnerabilities and insecurities. Then used to sadistically trigger me as often as she can and sit there and watch me in suffer pain.
It led me to self harm and being suicidal.
I am so badly wounded that even after few weeks, I am still discovering all the wounds. It will surely take some time along with external support to build a healing environment for myself and overcome this damage.
I am very angry, terribly hurt, lost and confused. This shit developed a phobia in me. I cannot trust anyone anymore. I constantly live in fear of being hurt (physical, mental, and emotional). I am paranoid of that stalker.
I don't think I'll ever be able to start and build a healthy relationship with anyone. I used to be sooooo fucking strong emotionally and mentally. But now not only my trauma relapsed but I got more issues within me.
I really want to live a free, healthy, happy and a fulfilled life. I don't know when time will heal this but right now, I am in terrible pain and hate myself a lot.9 -
Here's an advice to you guys:
Ever look at your mailbox and think it's so full of junk?
Archive all your current emails.
Then next time you get any spam emails take the time to unsubscribe or block the sender.
Trust me, life is so much better after you've got rid of those craps. And it's not that hard like it seems. In a week you'll probably get rid if 90% of those.3 -
I haven't got tape to prevent my dinner from opening, but hey... trust me, I'm (almost) engineer 😏
5 -
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
9:45 AM
I just woke up and in my whatsapp there was rhe following message of one of my friends:
"Hello how are you? I have to ask you a favor, ca you check if in my facebook profile is hooked up a hacker? A person told me that but I don't trust at all! Could you please check and let me know? Meanwhile I closed my profile, if I have to open it again let me know, thanks and greetings"
I think I return to sleep1 -
I was on a interview two weeks ago, got a mail today that I had been selected to the third round (government intel stuff)
I got clean sheet from the police and the "Security Service" in the country.
And now, in the mail. The recruiter wanted me to give contacts to my current boss. I am one of 4 and I dont want to sacrifice the trust that my boss have on me.
What the '''' should I do?2 -
After being an active developer in the industry for about 5 years, I still have some bad dev habits on which I'm working on:
- Starting off with the code first without a proper design in mind/paper. (Trust me, I'll always regret of not having a proper design later)
- Writing long method bodies and not refactoring them later. (Because sometimes I turn out to be a lazy ass)
- Duplicating code in some places without reusing some.1 -
I'm trying really hard not to be sensitive, but my manager is making it difficult with their "constructive criticisms" ...
Just finished up a call with them. And I'm so tired. I'm not even angry or upset, I just feel so tired of their bullshit.
I set up a meeting as a courtesy to get them up to date on all the code changes I made. Last night I stayed up late to try and get things in before the deadline and this morning just killed me when they say.
"I don't think I should have given you this."
"I was right, you weren't ready to start doing this."
(Then don't even bother giving me anymore tasks then, I don't fucking care.)
"you clearly don't understand how branches work"
(Absolutely fucking false, I fixed that shit and am very familiar with how to understand the structure of the fucking repo)
"you are rushing and I don't need you messing up the website"
(I'm being proactive you twat, not rushing, making it very difficult for me to do the work and being productive)
Like seriously bro! Don't fucking patronize me for the work I was trying to get out. And trust me this fucking meeting is done in order to get ahead of potential issues, not a time to be condescending of my skills or lack there-of as you seem to so keenly think.
If you had this much doubt about my abilities then why give me the fucking Sr. title? Fucking trust that I'm being honest, and I'm trying to get us to a good spot, not fucking sabotage the company. God fucking damn.6 -
>uni project
>6 people in group
>3 devs (including me)
I am in charge of electronics and software to control it as well as the application that will use them.
2 other "devs" in charge of a simple website.
Literally, static pages, a login/registration, and a dump of data when users are logged in.
Took on writing the api for the data as well, since I didn't fully trust the other 2.
Finished api, soldered all electronics, 3d printed models.
Check on the website.
Ugly af, badly written html and css.
No function working yet.
Project is due next week Thursday.
Guess who's not having a weekend and gonna be pulling 2 all nighters2 -
Boss: What's the estimate?
Dev: A month
---
Boss: What if we add one more engineer?
Dev: Two months
---
...
Boss: If we add a PM
Dev: Trust me. You don't wanna know3 -
So I did make a few website, they kinda worked well, but they really were ugly as fuck in terms of UI and UX.
So everytime a company was asking "have you got any website to show"
"NO, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT, BUT YOU CAN TRUST ME I'M A REALLY GOOD DEVELOPER"5 -
If you ++ this post, you will get good developer karma credits for the next 10 years, and every piece of code you write will eventually work.
Trust me this actually works, you can try it yourself.2 -
PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.
Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.
PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX
Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.
PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!
Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.6 -
Brave Browser was found hardcoding referral links to partnered Crypto sites, even if you manually type the URL.
Since then , they have fixed the bug but it's hard to trust Brave again.
Privacy is built on trust. I have recommended Brave to my friends and family and seeing news like this , makes me skeptical about the company.8 -
hey... can I build a FUCKING android image that uses a camera library?
react-native-camera: deprecated, no longer maintained
react-native-vision-camera: it's like globalthermonuclear war with versioning and patches and support and splat splat bullshit in that repo, don't even dare look at the issues there, trust me, please
react-native-camera-kit: doesn't compile for targetSdk 33, no matter what the FUCK you do
jesus christ i want to scan a fucking QR code with my app and my gradle configs have turned into world war III where the fuck did we go wrong folks8 -
*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?
THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY9 -
So we've got a gif that doesn't show up in our React Native application. Of course, the designers assume it's me: "are you sure the gif is in the codebase? how are you using it in your component"? yeah ok boomer. I'm like, look at this other gif, works fine. "oh" So I tell them, double check the export options on how you are building the gif, maybe there is something there. so now they are asking ME for those export options. I'M A DEV, NOT A DESIGNER, DO YOUR JOB AND FIGURE IT OUT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PROGRAM YOU ARE USING
oh as an aside, I was putting up a website for a client and they are like "my logo is quite similar to many others, is this something to worry about legally?" OH, SO NOW I'M A LAWYER TOO??!!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE GOOGLE IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF YOU
why do people continually think just because we can code we are fucking designers / lawyers / astronauts
/ god?
man this pisses me off - i think of that draw red lines with blue ink expert video, in the end, just smile and nod: "i can do... absolutely anything... trust me, I'm an expert"4 -
#1 Don't go looking to clear your doubts with your mentor. Instead, try and figure everything on your own. Trust me, that'll teach you a lot more than you think rather than by getting the answers directly spoon-fed to you from your mentor.
#2 Always keep a curious mind if you want to achieve something in what you do. You can't learn anything if you don't have the curiosity to ask the right questions - why? (mostly). Especially if you're just starting your career.1 -
Was very excited to receive my new work laptop. Everything is in French and I don't even have admin rights!
I guess they trust me with writing SW for their cars but when it comes to customising my own pc a team of IT guys should supervise me.1 -
CoWorker: “Yea then just use double inheritance to grab the methods off the two classes.”
Me: “Yea that doesn’t seem right... the first object is a string parser the second object predicts future occurrences...”
CoWorker: [louder] “No trust me, I’m taking a developer course right now. If you inherit both classes your new class can use all the needed methods!”
Me: “Okay, go for it bro.”
So tired of people who think they know what they’re doing...4 -
What’s with all these people saying, “reach out to help for me anytime!” - but when you actually ask for help, they never respond? Like damn looks like I can’t trust ya cad ass anymore.4
-
I was sick the entire week, told my boss about it. I was really enthusiastic about the work and also didn't want to let other people down, so I went, even though I didn't have to.
Today this asshole screams at me for being late and goes on about the broken trust between us etc.
This motherfucker. I showed up, for a whole week, in pain, despite not having to do so. I had to punch the bathroom walls for ten minutes in order to get rid of all the anger.
TL;DR:
Never do more than required, it will absolutely come back to hit you.5 -
“I do trust you, just let me see the logs”
- our colleague after we present to her good feedback from the demo just passed ok5 -
This is my #wk110 about a project from when I was a real n00b. It can also be read as a rant about myself.
So I decided to code my own terminal based password manager. Because, you know, whom can you trust the most; yourself or some random password manager from the internet?
Obviously, encryption plays a major role when storing such sensitive information. So n00b me decided to go with Base64.
Base64.
I developed a password manager that stores your passwords in Base64 format.
What must I have thought?!
Perhaps the gibberish looks of Base64 encoded data made me think that this actually is encryption.
After having realized my stupidity, I quickly replaced Base64 with AES and more recently I completely rewrote the whole project which is now also available on gitlab: https://gitlab.com/bitteruhe/sesame
This act of stupidity still embarrasses me every time whenever I think about it, though. -
My company provides its services as web pages and web services to our customers.
Once a year we update the certificate used for the https connections.
I notified the update to the clients that use the web services.
One of them asked me a copy of the public key.
No problem. Open the web site with the browser, save the key and send by email.
One day later the client asked me the public key in a zip file because the anti virus blocked my attachment.
Why the client hates the Chain of Trust ?
He could obtain the public key by them self from the browser or openssl.1 -
> TheSmartGuy: listen, IHateForALiving, I know you're a frontend developer, but here in the backend...
Just so we're clear: I'm NOT a frontend developer.
I'm a full stack developer.
I just so happen to always end up working on the frontend because you bunch of handless monkeys wouldn't be able to write a webpack config file if your life depended on it.
It's not you taking care of my inability to work on the backend, it's me being relegated to using only half of my skills because you ugly things refuse to evolve. I could take your job in a breath, I wouldn't trust you with writing a css selector.7 -
So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.
Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!
I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.
So anyone have any ideas?5 -
When scrum master/agile coach sais "I know, I used to be a developer myself." ....
Do they think it makes me trust them and drop my point?
Honestly all I think is "well, plenty of bad devs out there, and there's a reason you'r not doing it anymore"3 -
I think some of my co-workers see me as real life human version of Google search engine.
Hope they would understand that just because I'm little bit more up to date in tech knowledge and an accidental Google nerd doesn't make me a know it all..
But i understand their tendency to trust my recommendation over their googling skills
They want me to find
1- best freelancing website
2- best platform or service for someone who wants to do online teaching
Results that I'm aware of:
1- freelancer, guru, upwork
2- YouTube, udemy, Pluralsight, skillshare, thinkific
Any other recommendations?2 -
Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...5 -
Android is fucking fucked up.
Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,
React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?
And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.
Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.
Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.
9 -
My simple MySQL Connector for every languages (Dekstop/mobile). I've tried this in C#, VB.NET, and Java. Trust me, it works. How 'bout ya?
9 -
When you make a typo in a command and spend 20 minutes googling why it isn't working trust me its time to sleep and reboot.4
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I needed to log in on a website in someone else's pc and didn't know the password by heart. I thought I'd log into chrome, if I log out later, what could go wrong right?
Apparently, a lot. It facking merged my bookmarks, history and passwords with hers! And she had shitloads of them! It took me facking hours to clean up the mess chrome created. I trust her, but I still didn't want her to have my passwords etc.
Omg I'm never logging into chrome again elsewhere, what a frustrating facking waste of time10 -
So I got everything done that I'm supposed to this month. Now usually I would try to get ahead of the rush. However, since now even upper management doesn't trust me to do my job I figure I will adopt the same development process as the rest of the group: do nothing for the first three weeks of the month and in the last week hastily make excuses for why nothing is done while doing just enough to justify my continued employment.
-
Forgot to bring me laptop to college, so had to use the age old Turbo C complier on college PC. So had to do some power calculation.. used the pow() function, forgot to include math.h...
And bamm!!! It compiled and I had no idea why the pow function isn't giving the correct value!!
Lesson learnt: never trust anything!!2 -
First job was as a student, but paid, which was great! Started with some training which taught me more about programming in 7 weeks than I'd learned in 4 years at school/college. Started with some proprietary systems, then moved on to proper web dev/browser based apps using tech you're all far too young to remember. I was instantly at home. So became my career (with lots of full stack experience picked up along the way).
About 3 months in, my team lead said to me (the n00b student) "I'd ask and trust you to do things now that I wouldn't ask people who've worked here for years to do." Meant the world to me... (thanks DH!)
At the end of my time as a student I was invited straight back full time. -
So there seems to be a lot of discussion lately about the closing of background apps on Android. Now, I expect a decent amount of disapproval from this, but I happen to be one of those people BECAUSE I've experienced that it drains my battery more to have them running.
Since I genuinely trust y'all quite a lot compared to how much one should trust the internet in general, I'd like some more proper and reliable info (or as reliable as it can get) on this. If I'm indeed wrong I want you to convince me.9 -
Just found out the reason for these extremely useless "Script error." errors we're getting being so useless is, once again, CORS. 😡
"Hey, something went wrong in an iframe. I'm not allowed to tell you what went wrong, or where, but trust me some shit is broken *somewhere*. But you have to figure it out yourself."
If cross-origin blocking were a person I'd kick him in the nuts just for being such a fucking dick all the time.2 -
Outlook - " You have many duplicated contacts. Want to merge ?"
Me - ( inside mind thinking .... wtf, there are no duplicate contacts ) Ok do it.
pressed 'merge' for every contact ( Yeah, 'merge all' wasnt even there. Fucker designed the application which ask user to merge every contact, one by one ).
End Result - Brain Fucking piece of shitty microsoft' outlook android application, created 5 duplicates of all the contacts. Cant be more happy. Now i have 1000 contacts.
Microshit at its best again
Microshit managed to keep my trust on its products. Always, performs like Tatti ( Shit in hindi )
Edit - A wise man honoured Microshit with 'Macroshit'1 -
Hey fellow devRanters,
I'm sure some of you have read about the newest vulnerabilities in Intels Management Engine (ME). I feel like ME and similar "features" are unacceptable backdoors into our systems. Unfortunately Intel and AMD do not offer their customers the option to acquire CPUs that lack these backdoors and make disabling them rather impossible 😒
Thus my question: Do you guys know of any 64-bit "open-source" CPU on the market that is production-ready and suitable for high-traffic web applications? Please note that I don't consider FPGAs to be viable options, since I don't trust Xilinx and Altera either.15 -
First, I want to say don't look this company up if you've never heard of them. I really don't want to be a reason to drive more traffic to this company, because I really don't trust them.
So someone gifted me some coffee called Javy Microdose Coffee.
The reviews online are obvious plants and there was a hard social media promo going on for the last few months, so I'm already not interested in even trying it.
The packaging and colors scare the shit out of me, and the bottle itself doesn't seem to have a break seal on it. Besides that the bottle itself reminds me of the bottles of poison that were around when I was a kid.
My questions; has anyone on here ever consumed this terrifying bottle of liquid? Is it worth it? -
What is your greatest weakness?
My greatest weakness is that I don't trust people enough to let them know how the can leverage me by telling them my weaknesses.5 -
These days I'm listening to french music so much.
Even when coding. Trust me I am loving it and productivity really increased.6 -
After doing some self reflection today, I realized that I could finish college (I passed every exam), but the amount of time I spent for college (basically the whole day each day) is too much to handle for me.
Note to future me: If you blame yourself for why you didn't continue, it's because of the lack of time, freedom and calmness of your mind. Otherwise you would have went literally insane.
Trust me, your early version is in that phase right now, and I know it better than you do.9 -
best teacher? i wont really consider it teaching but it had really helped me a lot in my 1st year of programming.
me: *sends an email* hey i dont really understand how to do this part
teacher: i dont really know how to explain it so i coded it myself *sends me code*
me: oh thanks! *copy paste to mine*
after a week:
I GOT A PERFECT SCORE!! but ofc now i dont trust the teacher's code anymore. i deal with my own code.1 -
BACKLOG REFINEMENT
TeamLeader2: why did you rate this task so high? It should be easy enough
TeamLeader1: you guys have never worked with Angular. We have just started using it seriously and it's really complicated, I know it looks easy from the outside but trust me this whole framework requires a lot of work even for trivial tasks
What's that I hear in the distance? A phone ringing? Someone better pick that up, because I FUCKING CALLED IT
https://devrant.com/rants/9108342/...
3 -
OK trust me, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO. NOT. TRY TO DO ANYTHING ON A COMPUTER WHEN YOU HAVE SMALLER SIBLINGS, my baby brother has broken my PC monitor, my laptop screen, my phone, and hell, I'm desperate to the point of jailbreaking my Nintendo switch, witch he almost broke already, I'm typing this on my school laptop BTW.9
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Welp, who wants to see my first website? tiny.cc/copo
It was made almost entirely during english class, for blocked games. It's the most hits I've ever got one a site I've made. But the best part? I achieved my goal: respect from the teachers. And why did they respect me? *Because it got blocked*. Yup, across the entire county (our county is one of the top five in the USA for schools I believe). We, as the students, found a way around the teacher's technological control, and finally got some technological freedom. Just a small story.
P.S. not named by me, and sorry bout that JS redirect. I redesigned it while I was supposed to be writing about the theme but the original is couchpotato not cppremium. I can't change it now but I'll change it later. I trust you guys know how to stop it without me changing it though :)8 -
The longer I work in my department, the more I grow to appreciate clients that actually know what they are doing. Or clients who have been communicating with us for so long that the emails got a little less strict and formal.
Having a client write something like "I know this mail looks scary long, but trust me, its just a few domain edits, nothing horrible" (freely-translated from my native language) just kinda... Sets me at ease and makes me chuckle.1 -
I guess all of you know udemy.
Can anyone tell me whether HR actually gives any shit about "I finished an udemy class"-certificates?
I like udemy. To get into a new language or something like that it's pretty cool (if you are ok with paying for things you can find on google, too). But somehow i don't trust their certificates. Do they make you look like a fool if you put them in your cv? Or is it a prove of "see how engaged I am"?4 -
Trust me this is not a coincident.... And only two people in the whole department know what this monster really did. Thank god i never had a professor like him.
12 -
I'm a workaholic.
My boss literally told me I've only used 1 PTO day this year and with only 2 weeks left I HAVE to take at least the rest of this week off.
Guess... I'm getting a really long weekend, took tomorrow thru Friday off, Monday and Tuesday are holiday, so only 3 days left of the year after 5 today.
Not taking the last 3 days next week because I don't trust my one co-worker to do end of month/year procedures without me there to verify they didn't fuck up anything.
Now I just have to get through that time stressing about things I'm responsible for breaking while I'm not there.5 -
Best strategy for getting unstuck:
Wildly curse at the screen and start smashing your had against the keyboard. The ideas will come. Trust me!2 -
I often ask my colleagues about their mess ups on the job and that, to me, says a lot about them.
See, we devs have this unspoken rule between us (in my opinion) that we don't discuss our screw-ups whether it's the resume, the interview or at the job.
Are you really telling me that you've worked 5+ years in software industry and never messed up ONCE? Or were/are you in a position where you screwing up wouldn't create a dent for your team processes?
I can trust a dev more, who admits their screw ups because I know they have learned a valuable lesson and they are accountable for their actions.5 -
So manager talked to me about the plan to deploy me to another project. He told me I will be working on Gosu language. After me giving a sad face he said confidently "Trust me it is a good technology it is like java, python, c#(saying it as C-pound)...". He really knows his stuff, nothing to worry I'm in good hands.1
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Trustico CEO emailed private key which is used to sign TLS certificates, making more than 23k certificates compromised!
This makes me think, that we should not trust others for our security (like ca), failure of CA can put our website at risk. What is the better way to do it?
https://arstechnica.com/information...11 -
I am a frontend dev but please don’t trust me 100% with responsive, works in every browser, animation heavy, top of the line, UIs.
Also I don’t know how to work with Wordpress.
Also don’t ask me questions about Webpack, Node, or anything related to builds/configs. (I will be happy to google search my answers for you tho)
But I am a frontend dev.5 -
Does anyone enjoy their Windows development laptop? I fight with it so much. I would be happy to smack it hard with a hammer for all of the embarrassing things it has done in front of customers.
They are trusting me to build a multi million dollar system yet for some reason I can't join a Skype meeting, or my mic doesn't work, or the scaling on screen makes everything look oversized.
What am I supposed to say? "Trust me to build your system. I swear I'm not as retarded as I appear."15 -
I'm too young to have taken my last job...
Enough with the jokes. I have been networking with a lot of people through the years of working at companies and that paid off.
When people trust you for your knowledge, then it's normal to attract business offers. Also, you can partner up with people. That's how my last job started and is still going. At a previous company, I interviewed a guy who had the skills and motive to replace me, but he didn't get the job cause my boss was stupid (he was lucky not to work there, for real).
After I left, he called me to offer me a partnership. One year later and we are killing it, became good friends too. -
There are a few constants in Software Development:
1) The requirements always change.
2) Don't trust input.
Silly me was so naive to ignore 1 and 2 and later I dealt with the consequences.
1) Oh, we have this new API and we're only going to build Google Maps interfaces with it. Nice, easy task. We won't have to address the other parts of the library, wooh! The next day: "Yeah guys, we kinda wanna use the other parts now". Me: sigh.
2) Simple task: I have my API accept CSV files so I can generate graphs out of them. What could go wrong? Provide wrong file? I caught that. Provide completely fucked up and garbled CSV? Whoops.2 -
Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)
Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.
Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.
Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?
Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.
Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?
Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.
Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.
Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.
Me: ...1 -
Few things hack me off more than devs who can't be bothered to do a task properly, so just submit some random crap as a PR that looks half correct at some surface level in the vague hope it gets approved.
This team is about creating decent, tested, reliable, resilient backend infrastructure, and we need to trust devs in order to do that. If you want to pull the half-arsed, do as little as possible and get paid as much as possible approach then sod off to higher management somewhere.1 -
Trust me dude I can totally code but only alone and not with others around where no one can see me. Where no one can see me 🤥 Is there a Sunkist machine on the floor with my office? I'm the new senior developpah! Develll-opp-bah! Senyyyyawwww! Devel0PPA!🤪🙃
-
The moment you realize you've spent years in a technology where the "IDE":
- isn't too good at finding references, unless the project is tiny
- is not capable to do any sort of refactoring (or at least you shouldn't trust it due to the point above)
- doesn't let you connect to any version control
- doesn't allow to CTRL+Z or any equivalent
- I won't even mention templates or dark theme
Guess the name. Feel free to tell me how utterly stupid this is so maybe I'll finally work on changing my path before it's too late.13 -
Debugging a task, that's sending emails to too many customers.
Supervisor: "Never mind, just test in production, there is a dry run flag for the tasks."
Just in case I test locally...
Flags tried:
--dryrun="TRUE" => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun=TRUE => Error, failed to send mail.
--dryrun="true" => Not trying to send mail.
If it's THIS PICKY a little more documentation would be nice.
And by a little more I mean: more than the task base class in a giant php monstrosity without phpdocs expecting its code to be self-documenting. -
So I use 4 differents setups in my life nowadays
My main PC at my home, which is on Windows 7
My PC at work, which is on Windows 8.1
My Cloud PC for gaming and video editing, on Windows 10
My travelling PC, which is on Ubuntu.
The Ubuntu, it's okay, no problem. But trust me, that's a real pain in the ass to switch from one OS to another.4 -
36 or sth..
Trying to fix production for xy client without them noticing someone fucked up everything with the previous deploy.. (wasn't me)..
Anyhow, managed to deploy my changes plus fix for the previous fuckup.. in the morning it all worked as it should.
Why it took me so long? Because why bother writing down what changeset was used for deploy.. It's much more fun to guess.. Multiple times.. Anyhow, I managed to figure approximate code for that deploy & merge my changes & fix everything.. + later found out looooads of uncommited changes on the guys computer.. :/ So yeah, never trust a bunneh!! -
Breakup and all hurts
But have you ever experienced you're working fucking hard on a project in your company for 3 weeks and suddenly they drop the idea for a new feature implementation ?
Trust me it feels so much fucking demotivated .
Idk what to say now8 -
I know reviews are so I can show my progress and let you tell me what you think. Just, please don’t tell me to click irrelevant buttons, trust me, there’s really nothing there.
-
Project Lead in the morning: This one story needs to be finished till 2pm for the QA department.
Me: No problem, everything is finished and there is only one test case open. It should be finished in no time.
Also me: Spends 7 hours of intensive lagacy code debugging to find out why this shit isn't working sometimes. Try to fix it, broke some other things. Retested all cases and found 3 other minor bugs. End of the day, story is still not finished.
Now: Project Lead is mad, QA guy is mad, I am mad.
Conclusion: I hate debugging legacy code and I never again trust the last open test case!!2 -
Okay so im gonna get some confused and many disagreeing ranters on this.
I like SoloLearn. I said it.
I think its a good platform to learn the syntax for a language. and get basic understanding on the language. granted It does a horrible job at teaching you what or how to do things. and its webapp isnt nearly as great as the mobile app.
the mobile app has a lot more "lessons" ranging from ES6, Angular, React, Algorithms, Cryptography. they obviously arent the best. and SoloLearn has SO many flaws and I understand that, trust me I understand more than anyone
I just dont think its the worst.3 -
Fucking all of them.
I get stuck doing mind numbing bullshit without learning anything new or beneficial to my career.
It literally doesnt let me sleep at night.
I could become Senior in terms of years and still be Junior in terms of knowledge if I were to trust these fucking bosses who like to pretend to be mentors.
Udemy here I come. -
Why do the issues that have been bugging me for weeks/months almost always go away immediately when the support person replies "I'm looking into this"? And almost always the support person claims he "didn't change anything".
How can I not think they are covering their asses and lying to my face? How am I supposed to trust support after this...?6 -
The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.
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That I'm responsible enough for people to just entrust shit to me and irresponsible enough to fuck up very important things for very stupid and easily avoidable reasons. Rarely enough to not happen a lot, but serious enough fuck-ups that it can't be considered inconsequential.
And when I tell people not to trust me with shit without supervision they refuse to believe me and think I'm just being self-deprecating. Bitch I'd accidentally let you die if that was a responsibility of mine, I have no brain, only butterflies.1 -
After nearly 4 weeks, my account has finally been generated to access the VDIs for our development environment. I tried to authenticate with my smartcard and kept getting errors with very bland messages. after hours of digging through (useless) windows logs, someone told me that the certificate authority that signed my card isn't in the trust store for the VDI backend. Based on the current pace of things, I'm guessing it's going to be a while before this gets sorted out. My internship ends in 2 weeks and I haven't been able to do anything yet :/
-
It was when my engineering big boss asked my friend, instead of me, questions about a feature I was working on. And whenever I tried to jump into their conversation, he would turn his head to my friend and continue talking to my friend, as if I was not there.
Sounds simple, right? But at that time my impostor syndrome was at its worst point, which led me to take it that he didn't trust my capabilities to develop that feature. After that, overthinking played its part, telling me that I can't be a good developer, and I should quit and switch career path.
Eventually I decided to stay for a few months and see how things would work out. Things slowly went better, and I have successfully recovered my confidence ever since :)2 -
I hate it when I got severe sickness like fever that disable my focus and concentration, everything that i have planned to finish in a week is delayed, and any arrangements and meetings are postponed. It reduce me everything, productivity, income, client's trust, and it will eventually reduce my reputation.3
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It reaaaally annoys me when my business logic is sound but the data is corrupted.
For example, find duplicates in a HashMap<String>.. but I didn't take into account the input could contain a space either before or after.. so I end up wondering: if a HashMap only contains unique keys, how come the count of items in the map is the same as the count of the input keys?! Well.. spaces were the culprit.
"12345" != "12345 ".. and therefore the Map sees it as two distinct keys..
What an annoying bug.
Lesson learned: 1) Sanitize input first and never trust it. 2) Never make assumptions16 -
Don't you guys think, developers should narrate their own life in biography books ?
Trust me my neighbours will stop asking me to fix their broken PC4 -
I learned that you should never trust someone saying "let me setup the basics for the project" if someone said that they'll probably come back with a book as thick as earth (round one) just to run that "basic" project. And yet it still won't run because errors and missing packages. Also they documented only half of the fixes they applied to get it running themselves.
Oh and then you only reached the point where you have no motivation left and only have a blank template to start. -
So I decide to do some online test at company X for an internship.
URL bar exposes names, id number, email etc, whatever you fill when they capture your details(these morons are probably using a get route to do it). Okay fine let me give it a try... Page loads flash content! WTF!??...Fine I do the test, so easy and fun. After completing the test and hit submit the whole flash shit just goes blank!!! Now I wasted my 3 hours for nothing!!! I'm so pissed rn I wanna write them an email. Ohhh I forgot to mention the page was very http with no s. How do I even trust they'll tech me anything???7 -
3 weeks into getting dragged into another MS-stack project, I have already been repeatedly reminded why I decided to invest so much energy in moving my career as far away from Microsoft dependency as possible. Even something as simple as reviewing settings on Azure App Service is a hit-or-miss affair, being completely unavailable for hours at a time at least once a week. Azure Functions are consistently unavailable for at least a few minutes every day. Don't even get me started on "Azure DevOps".
Why the fuck do people still place their trust (and critical infrastructure) in the hands of Microsoft?
4 -
I really don't want to dual boot windows and ubuntu, trust me,
but when I'm getting frame drops in chromium, while having a gtx1070ti, it's kinda hard to be a linux/ubuntu advocate and windows hater when every stackoverflow answer tells you to reinstall drivers
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻10 -
One easy way to watch YouTube without ads on a smartphone is Firefox + Ad.blocker
HoWeVeR... Page loading time on YouTube went up to 1 minute for me lately, all out of a sudden. Nothing changed on my device. I have auto-updates disabled
A coincidence? 🤔 Or Google looking to make life hard for me. YouTube was already caught making loading slow on FireFox deliberately, so they deserve 0️⃣ trust5 -
Sometimes I work from home, I don't know if i'm allowed to but nobody says nothing and I don't notify either, my record is 1 week without showing up at the office, I want to stay one month just to see what happens.
Do you think they trust me or I'm unnoticed and replaceable?8 -
It is better to write almost all of the logic used in the code as comments/documentation.
Trust me.
It is a good thing. It increases Code readability.
Nobody is going to copy your logic and get hired in a high paying job or get promoted for that reason. People will come to know about your wit and will appreciate you instead.2 -
!dev
Again I get confirmation that my trust issues are justified.
In the end, 99% of people just watch their own ass even if they could easily make it easier for others who didn’t do anything wrong. All they’d have to do is caring about them.
I guess especially younger generations only care for their parents, wives and kids. Everyone else is just a means to an end.
It reminds me of the reason why I spend most of my time alone at home in front of my computer.8 -
lets see...
would i like the glenfidditch 12 year for 45 EUR?
or the laphroaig 10 year for 50 EUR?
😂
seems like a no-brainer to me (and trust me, i have NO brain)
inb4 fullstackcircus is an alcoholic, we already know that
go hang out with the OTHER hacktoberfest participants and tell me something i don't know10 -
As this is as good a place as any to vent, I feel the need to proclaim that I've had to unsubscribe from /r/ProgrammerHumor on account of all the "volume control" jokes.
I am a patient man, but I simply cannot deal with monotony. It is the same fucking joke over and over again popping into my feeds.
Gonna give it a couple of months until it dies down.
Here on devrant, I guess I'll just have to downvote and trust in algo to save me2 -
My boss is a very smart man, but sometimes he's superstitious as hell. He cannot trust context.list.find() in c# to accept null values, despite that being a thing forever. He's certain that it will break in a future entity framework update, so we have all these duplicate if statements all over our site.
If(blah == null){ //stuff}
Thing thing = context.things.find(blah);
If(thing == null){//stuff}
It kills me a little each time, but I guess he could be worse. I'm glad that he's finally trusting the null conditional operator, because it's a fucking lifesaver for duplicate code!3 -
well my username contains "bugs" within itself (rvbugs0), will people trust me to develop softwares for them .😓1
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When you unknowingly/accidentally/inadvertently delete something someone was working on for a long time and they don’t tell you until several months later when all the backups are long rotated out. No way to fix it and nothing left to do but accept blame and sanctions and work to regain lost trust. Kill me now.4
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Am i the only one who stop watching conference whenever a Windows developer comes in and try to give his piece of shitty advice cause trust me guy 99% of times this advice is linked to some shitty promotion of their twat service their cloud,test labs whatever . Fucking waste of one hour . Microsoft is a bag of shit company
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As a junior in a print communication agency, my boss wanted me to make their portfolio.
Their requirements were: a full animated flash website (in 2010...). Understand, they had been bought the Adobe license...
After several months of works and ton of alerts about flash death, the website has been deployed.
My boss did not understand why he could not visit the website with its iPhone...
The website had lived 2 months and will was replaced by a static "wix" alternative... So much work for nothing because the boss did not trust a junior dev.
Biggest lesson: Always begin with fast proof of concept to validate your hypotheses for you and for your boss ;) -
Reading about technologies I know on IDG owned news sites make me cringe and yet I trust them for news on technologies I don't know.1
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Finally i knew it, you always give me a false promise, I shouldn’t trust you from the first time we meet. Damn you JS Developer 🤦♂️1
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after having to deal with a lot of weird "rewrites" and "refactorings" by co-workers i started to add this comment into the head of my sourcefiles:
You may think you know what the following code does.
But you dont. Trust me.
Fiddle with it, and youll spend many sleepless nights cursing the moment you thought youd be clever enough to "optimize" the code below. Now close this file and go play with something else.
Found this somewhere on the interwebs and since i use it the "refactorings" and "optimizations" of my code stopped nearly completely -
Long time....loooong time since I got on here. That said, I'm just gonna jump on this like everyone else. You know the drill.
MS just bought GitHub. Fucking. GitHub.
I just pulled an all-nighter a day ago to set up a DigitalOcean droplet for the first time. I'm sorry. I just don't trust Microsoft. Look at the Halloween memos and everything they've done. Then they try to (literally) buy trust. It doesn't work like that, at least not for me.
I see people comparing users talking about moving to GitLab to the people who said they were leaving the US after the 2016 elections but never did. That's the difference here - I set up my first GitLab install.
I dislike the thought of the buyout so much that I want to ignore the fact that it's happening. But gotta get through. GitHub could easily take the way of SourceForge and GitLab prevails. -
Kinda related to this site: i click any link in this page and LastPass pops up like "I FOUND A INSECURE LOGIN BRO! I KNOW THERE'S NONE ON THE SCREEN, BUT JUST TRUST ME BRO"1
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Never again will I use eclipses egit extension. First eclipse thought that my plain text java source code should be encoded in some bizarre occult way which made eclipse think its binary what made me try pretty much anything one can do with a .gitattributes file before a colleague suggested to not trust eclipse eith the encoding it was explicitly told to use, then I fetched another branch to merge them which somehow killed my .project file and forced me to delete and refetch the whole thing which led to eclipse not longer recognizing it as a java project. May it be because I'm to stupid to use my tools? Yeah, probably. But I'm done with egit, it's all console gitting from now on, fuck suggested practice.
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Surround yourself with good bosses, mentors and colleagues. And then talk to them, develop trust. When I feel like an imposter, thinking back of all the times my mentor told me that I'm good makes me feel better about myself and my skills.
Also, keep some sort of portfolio of your successes. And be sure to remind yourself that the portfolio would be empty of you weren't good at what you do. -
When you interview, remember that the single biggest factor in getting an offer is whether the interviewer likes you or not. I could tell lots of stories to back that up but it would take forever. So my TL;DR version would be: it isn't the only thing that matters, but trust me - it's crucially important.
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Letting my hateful spirit breathe some: I recently have remembered that no one called me during my 4 months of chemotherapy. Debating if I should cut off everyone I know previously because I know I can’t trust them anymore. If I can’t trust them with my life, why would I ever speak to them? Why would I ever care to see these idiots? What is preventing me from going to their homes and ending it for the mental anguish they have given me?2
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-assigning me a new API integration
-It should be fairly easy. Possibly in a click of a button.
-3 weeks later... End up with outdated documentation and a call with an Indian accent guy (no offence it just end up that way)
Please chose very carefully what to use and research it very well! Trust nobody but yourself! -
Am really worried about this major ( Computer science major ) in my country ( Lebanon ).
We have a very good potentials and very low salaries compared to it. And in case we apply abroad there is always an indian who have the same experience at least and most of them request a very low salary.
Trust me am really worried.2 -
A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
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Oh damn!
I have been tired of everything for a couple of years and thought it is temporary and it will go away. But today I discovered there is a thing called Chronic fatigue syndrome.
Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Fellow developers, if you are experiencing similar symptoms mentioned in the wiki, make sure you visit a doctor; trust me, this permanent state of fatigue will not go away.
I just made an appointment to doctor and urge you to do the same!1 -
People ask me why do I have trust issues. They should try to code and make things work properly... they would understand
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Incoming phone call from an unknown number. I am busy coding, the number is not in my contacts, and there is no caller ID. Callers could leave a message on my voice box, but most don't. Callers could send me an email or a short message, but most don't. When I google their number, there is either no entry at all, or one of those generic reverse phone book sites called something like "look who's calling" telling me that it's a German number of an unknown ower. I don't get it.
If making outbound cold calls is your profession, why won't you use any of those free trust-building options? Are those people getting paid just for typing numbers into their keyboard and listening to the ring tone?2 -
When you add a new file to a project, Visual Studio shows only the types that it thinks are relevant.
It's based on a guid in the .csproj file. Yes, a guid.
A magic number, only longer.
Changed to another one that allows me to add the files, added the files, restored previous number. Project unloadable, restored with git, lost several hours of work. If only I committed before trying this. Lesson learned. Trust git. Never trust Visual Studio.3 -
I've been thinking, and i feel like being the bad guy... So, for now, I'm also an "idea guy" if you know what i mean...
Idea: This site could have a feature like "product recommandations" (just like long rants or something [tyical idea guy saying]), where users could recommend stuff like programs, peripherials, or anything dev related.
This could be done using tags, like certain tags would get sorted into the "product recommandations".
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
(PS.: We should also make a site which is like google, trust me, it would make millions...) -
When the developers trust a stupid, laggy, buggy mobile emulator more than chrome emulator, seeing shit that's ONLY reproduceable in said emulator. Driving me fucking nuts.
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Fucking Apples hold my bananas! Collegue and me see our naïve thought refuted that a commercial vendor, most valuable company would create an OS that is not as split and fucked up as Linux distros.
It is hard even where to begin, so deep is the shitfest they are putting developers through with Mojave and Catalina.
Our testers weren't hardly able to install Catalina beta 6-7. Behavior of kernel extension and full disk access varying on a daily basis. Fixing these bugs is like nailing a pudding to the wall.
Makes me wanna quit software. Whom should you trust if even your OS is flaky as hell?8 -
I’m sorry girls but I can’t trust y’all 🤷♂️. Periodt.
Also, who wants to get a hot dog with me rn. Im fucking starving my goober gabb off, I feel like a sage fasting for the sake of personal holyness, but like fuck that I’m zooted and I need a dog.2 -
I love how shitty looking VPN software is used in my company. How can I trust in you providing me security if you can't fucking provide correctly rendered icons?1
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!Dev
I was on my way to buy a screen protector for my phone cause the one they put at the factory was peeling off and unfortunatly I dropped it just before arriving at the shop, fml well at least it's not that visible and it give me a reason to buy the new Huawei mate 20 pro when it's comming out -
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