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EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2017)
-------------------------
@trogus and I have had an absolute blast working on devRant over the last year. However, we're strong believers in only working on a project if you're passionate about it, and over the last few months, we've sadly lost some of that passion so we've to announce, with heavy hearts, that we will both be moving on. We've decided to focus 100% of our energies on our next product, one which we are confident has billion dollar potential: Semicolon JS (http://semicolonjs.com).
We identified this sizable market opportunity as we were building out the new devRant website. Every JavaScript framework we tried left us wanting more. More efficiency. More elegance. More extensibility. That's what Semicolon JS is: more. More than a framework, it's a guiding philosophy. We believe that Semicolon JS will do for front end development what Material Design has done for user interface design. We're calling it Semicolon JS because even though you can still develop JavaScript without it, like a semicolon, we think it will soon become a standard and synonymous with quality JS development.
So comes the obvious question. What will happen to devRant? We wanted to make the announcement today because we will be officially shutting down the product in 30 days. So that gives everyone a full month to take in the last memories, look at those rants they really loved, and hopefully take some time to chat with @trogus and I about Semicolon JS and what we have planned.
With so many thanks and looking towards the future,
- @dfox and @trogus
160 -
My company is like:
Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.7 -
When you install Java it says "3 billion devices run java"
Well I'm not sure how many of those devices actually respond11 -
"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.17 -
The CEO asks God:
"God, how much time do you need to create the earth?"
God: "uh, 10 billion years I think"
CEO: " You have only 7 days. Well 6, the last one is to fix everything gone wrong after deploying"
And here we are6 -
The story of the $500,000,000 error.
In 1996, an unmanned Ariane 5 model rocket was launched by the European Space Agency.
Onboard was software written to analyze the horizontal velocity of the spacecraft. A conversion between a 64-bit floating point value and a 16-bit signed integer within this software ultimately caused an overflow error just forty seconds after launch, leading to a catastrophic failure of the spacecraft.
That day, $7 billion of development met it's match: a data type conversion.12 -
B: you are not even a real developer
Me: ??
B: you are using windows
Me:
Me: what the fucking fuck did you just fucking say you little fuck? Ill have you know i have written at least 4 lines of code, commented once and have a stackoverlfow reputation of -7. I have completed every beginner level udemy course on applied brainfuck mathematics and have worked as a distributed data analyst with excel 03. You are nothing to me, every piece of code i write runs on exactly 3 billion devices and i have an unsuccessful facebook meme page. Bitch.5 -
Story time:
I was once working on a project that dealt with incredibly sensitive financial data.
We needed a client’s database to do a migration.
They wouldn’t send it over the internet because it was too big and they didn’t think it would be secure.
They opt to send it in the post on an encrypted usb drive.
(Fair enough thinks I)
USB drive arrives.
Is indeed encrypted.
MFW there’s a post it note in the envelope with the password on.
MFW this is a billion dollar multinational petrochem company.
MFW this same company’s ‘sysadmin’ and ‘dba’ once complained because a SQL script I sent them didn’t work - they’d pasted it twice and couldn’t work this out from the fucking “table already created” error message management studio was throwing at them.3 -
I was at my uncle's village.
Where getting internet is big thing,very far from main city.
I was talking with one shopkeeper.
I told him ,I am software developer.
He ask me questions that
"How can I improve my business using software?"
To help me figure out situation.
He told me problems he is facing right now.
Accounting/inventory management/contact's with big retailers.
He was so genuinely explaining it.
He don't want next billion dollar startup.
He want to solved his problem.
I am really impressed after that conversation because person who don't know what is excel is talking about ERP software.
I am going to develop that software.
#respect14 -
I made an account just to rant about this:
Currently working for a multi billion dollar company and this is the code some wanker decided to write! Now I get the pleasure of reading through and debugging it :D
29 -
When anyone tells you some app idea you have already heard a thousand times, do you throw a OutOfFucksToGiveException?5
-
Is Microsoft going to ruin GitHub? NO!
Are we going to get amazing git integration in VSCode? ABSOLUTELY!
They're a 600 billion dollar company and they're one of the leading contributors to open source. They know the community they are handling and how fragile it is. This is just a developer trust move from them.
Stop pretending this is the end of GitHub, cause it isn't.23 -
You start new job and take over huge codebase without tests and documentation.
It turns out programming language is custom language made by previous developer who was the only one maintaining project.
There is no source version control.
Language runs in vm developed in Fortran.
No one cared to this day cause everything was working.
Project is critical for multi billion dollar corporation that sells medical equipment that keep people alive.
You can’t test your code on real devices only on virtual ones that were made using same custom language but you can’t find source code for it.
Previous developer accidentally died before you were hired.
You signed contract with penalties that will ruin your life.
Your first task is to add “small” feature.
Good luck !12 -
Historically, tattoo artists would operate free of charge on women's breasts. This was an attractive offer for both sides, and spawned the phrase "tit for tat", which now represents two sides of an argument offering items of equal value.
This is a fact I just made up, like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"9 -
Fuck fuck fuck. Microsoft is maybe taking over github.
Source: http://businessinsider.com/2-billio...
47 -
Biggest scaling challenge?
The imaginary scaling issues from clients.
Client : How do you cope with data that's a billion times bigger than our current data set? Can you handle that? How much longer will it take to access some data then?
I could then give a speech about optimizing internal data structures and access algorithms that work with O(log n) complexity, but that wouldn't help, non-tech people will not understand that.
And telling someone, the system will be outdated and hopefully been replaced when that amount of data is reached, would be misinterpreted as "Our system can not handle it".
So the usual answer is: "No problem, our algorithms are optimized so they can handle any amount of data"6 -
Not so much screaming as staring in disbelief, mumbling profanity in his direction...
When my department lead said "I don't think this unit testing hype or code reviews make much sense, it's more efficient to just make a checklist and test the application yourself"
This was the QA department of an aerospace company, we wrote NDT software to do image recognition on xrays of alloy welds and micrometer laser measurements on fuel tank surfaces. Software which is quite mission critical, a single misrecognized welding fault could literally cost up to half a billion dollars — not to mention that it's a very sabotage & espionage sensitive industry.
After raising some hell he was replaced though.3 -
Every dev job I see:
You need a billion years of experience, and must be able to fistfight Sauron11 -
It's funny to see how a coworker of mine and me are very similar minded on some privacy stuff. He's a very cool/open guy and just a regular consumer (used the default services etc) but he shares quite some of my views. This is a convo we had today:
*got to the WhatsApp subject somehow*
Him: oh right, you didn't use that haha
Me: yeah 😅
Him: why was that again, privacy reasons or something, right? xD
Me: uhm yes *help*
Him: Well fair enough.
Me: so you'd think I'm right? I mean it uses end to end crypto... (I'm entirely with him in the next few lines but I always approach it carefully)
Him: they veeeery probably have some kinda fucking masterkey.
Me: why'd you think that?
Him: it has over a billion users, the owner is facebook, fb is directly integrated with several mass surveillance programs, they are known to work closely with one particular one, the intelligence interests are way too high for letting such an opportunity pass and after all, THE FUCKER IS CLOSED SOURCE AKA NO ONE CAN FUCKING VERIFY THE CRYPTO NOR THE APP ITSELF.
Me: I agree haha 😅
Him: it's not rocket science, it's modern day mass tracking/surveillance logic :)
I like that guy.5 -
Seriously amazing how some people just contribute that much to open source:
https://www.npmjs.com/~sindresorhus
https://patreon.com/sindresorhus/
"I actively maintain 1100+ npm packages (1 billion downloads a month) and many popular projects. You're probably depending on some of my packages in your dependency tree. For example, Webpack relies on 77 of my packages."
11 -
Had a team with
1 entrepreneur who has this great billion dollar Idea and want me to sign an NDA before he can share the idea
1 newb who thinks that X language is the coolest because that's what everyone on Hacker news says
1 person who spends more time with other team than yours. I'll be fortunate to even spot him during the hackathon. Aka, "networking guy"
And then there's me, wondering why was I even here in the first place
Oh wait, that's the every hackathon I've been to.7 -
1. Submit my resume, get an email asking to schedule an interview
2. Schedule the interview
3. One day before the scheduled time, I get an email saying that the interview is being rescheduled to another time two days later (no explanation for why they did this)
4. I clear out my schedule and wait for the interview call (it’s suppose to be at 2:30, but I wait like 15 minutes early because I don’t want to miss it)
5. I don’t get a call
6. At 3:00, I call the company and ask whats going on. They apologize and say my interviewer will call me back as soon as he gets back from lunch.
7. He doesn’t call.
8. At 4:00 I call them back. Apparently the guy who was suppose to interview me went home. I ask them wtf they are doing and if this is how they treat their employees. They said they would reschedule the interview and call me back once they did.
9. No one calls.
10. I wait a week, call them back, and am told that the funding for my position didn’t come through (what does that mean? You’re not hiring programmers to design the software for your billion dollar war machines anymore? Seriously?).
I’ve had it with this company. I don’t know if it was just this incompetent recruiting group or if this is a company full of scumbags, but I mean, really?1 -
A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.
Probably the dev missed a tutorial.
DEV 101
NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT
2 -
LinkedIn Manager to Satya Nadella:
LM: Hey, how are you doing? At Linkedin we need to buy Github accounts.
SN: Just a min... Yes. We bought Github for $7.5 billion.
LM: Dude, we need github account for our developers. It’s just $21/user.
SN: WTF🤦🏻♂️2 -
I am sure that a lot of you have heard about the gap between poor and rich growing. You know that the amount of really poor people and the amount of really rich people is increasing and that the amount of people in between is decreasing. The gap between poor and rich is growing.
But this rant isn't about economy or anything, I think something similar is happening in the technology sector.
I think that the gap between people knowing close to nothing or just really the stuff to get along and people that really know a lot about it is growing. Right now there are so many things happening in technology, quantum computers and especially machine learning. While on the other hand there are so many people not caring or rather not knowing about all of this stuff. Now you might think that this only is true for some of the 'older generations', those that didn't grow up with all the technology. But I can say that today's youth isn't any better.
For example:
One of my classmates had to copy a file into a folder. They both were on the desktop. He clicked on the file and dragged it onto the folder. It was loading and after around 10 seconds it still wasn't finished, so he stopped it, moved the file closer to the folder and tried it again. This really happened and I am 99% sure that he was serious.
Now I don't know if this is just some 1am thought I had but I really think that the 'gap' between people with almost no technology knowledge / interest and people who are making the stuff and really know stuff about it is growing at an alarming rate.
3 billion devices may run java but there aren't 3 billion people who know Java.
Please let me hear your opinion about this :)16 -
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11 -
Idea Guy repellent:
Next time they tell you that they have a billion dollar idea and want you to build it, don't get angry.
Just point them to a code learning website and tell them if their idea is truly worth a billion dollar then they should spend the time learning the tech.
Then laugh as other idea guys come to them with ideas about their billion dollar apps while the rest of us are finally left alone.9 -
Going... going.... going.... gone!!
Stackoverflow is sold, now to sit back and await the profiteering that's bound to happen.
I quote:
Prosus has built a significant presence on the enterprise side with a focus on the future of workplace learning. Prosus will reach 90% of the Fortune 100 across its corporate learning companies including Stack Overflow, Skillsoft, Udemy and Codecademy.
https://prosus.com/news/...19 -
Right hand working on that "billion dollar" website idea of mine; Left hand holding our 4month baby who won't sleep when put down!!!!6
-
Facebook: *moves a button to the left by 0.0000002 pixels*
Facebook's users (averaging about a billion years old): Yo wtf where'd that button go7 -
NVIDIA have just announced Titan V, with 12GB and 21 billion transistors.
But can it run Minecraft with shaders though?5 -
Made a program to list primes until stopped. I got to about 2 billion when it took 8 GB of RAM and I more or less had to stopped it.
Only took 10% of CPU though.13 -
Grunt, gulp, bower, webpack, rollup, yarn, npm, requirejs, commonjs, browserify, brunch, rollup, parcel, fusebox, babel,
wrappers for bundlers, frameworks on frameworks, then for css, theres scss, sass, less, stylus, compass, and for templates, handlebars, mustache, nunjucks, underscore, ejs, pug, jade, and about five billion other word-salad tools, all with their own CLIs, each in some way building on npm, but with their own non-congruent little syntax, like no one realized they were reinventing the same problems introduced by domain specific languages, most happy to announce "configuration takes a little time, but it's worth it!"
No, it's not. Just stop people. Just stop. You're not doing anyone any favors by creating another lib, all you're doing is tooting your own horn and self promoting. Use what exists and stop creating more shit for new people to learn, to add to the giant clusterfuck that is the 2019 hotmess known as "web development."
You're not special. You're not important. You're lib or tool will be famous for 15 minutes and no one cares what you've made.
If you want to contribute to web development, do us all a favor and contribute to global sanity by kindly deleting your contribution and any plans to contribute new solutions to problems that have already been solved.18 -
Just got pitched another one of those “billion dollar” app ideas at work....
An app that stores app ideas
You don’t need an app for that, you can write your app ideas on a napkin and store them in the trash where they belong.2 -
Yeah, if my so called "friends" can just stop making me feel guilty for staying in with my son instead of going out having beers in pretentious clubs, with music blasting at a billion decibels that we can't even have a decent conversation.
If you could just stop; that would be great.
I'm sorry I have to work. I'm sorry I can't leave my 6 year old alone in the house on a school night. I'm sorry I don't have an army of maids to look after him. I'm sorry I don't have personal drivers to take him to school. I'm sorry if your family or your wife's family is so fucking rich you're basically a kept man and now bored out of your wits.
Please, just fuck off with this toxic behavior. We are not in our 20s anymore.
Thank you.7 -
Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"
Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.7 -
People are still bitching about Microsoft buying Github.
In the meantime IBM buys Red Hat for 34 billion USD.
https://engadget.com/2018/10/...10 -
If you ever completely want to waste your goddamn time, call Keolis (company behind Arriva I think) with a question regarding their app. They'll be able to provide you with no fucking usable help/information at all and will gladly guide you through the login process twenty-motherfucking-billion times again and have no single solution as to why its not working.
As a bonus, they'll ask for your details so they can investigate and call you back a little later to take you through the exact goddamn process you just did two-hundred-trillion times before with the exact same completely fucking useless result.11 -
Multi-billion dollar company - don't write fucking changelogs
At least write "Fixed some fucking bugs" or something...
Is it that hard?
11 -
You are seeing this ad because Facebook sold your data in order to become billion dollar company.
Haha.
28 -
Voyager 1 passes 17 billion miles today. The farthest man made object from the earth today and it's transmitters are still working after 43 years.
I can't even get the stuff I built last week to work right.7 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
Most successful project... What is success?
My first computer at 8 years old was a Commodore64. There was no internet yet, so I used the manual to learn about BASIC and assembly, sound and sprite registers, and created a pretty elaborate RPG. Mostly text, some sprite art, soldered some eeprom cartridges, optimized the code. Spent almost a year on it. An enthousiast magazine picked up on it, revised, QA'ed & published the game, sold a little over 10k samples. I got ƒ0.25 per sale, and I was completely overwhelmed how much candy one could buy for ƒ2500 ($2k corrected for inflation).
More recent:
I was employee #3 at my current company, started when it was worth nothing and the website redirected to a set of Google Forms containing all the logic. I wrote a large part of the first, monolithic backend.
Now there's teams in a dozen countries, and an estimated revenue of a quarter billion.
So obviously my current "project" is more successful.
Still, my current job sucks, the company turned into a desolate passion-free wasteland full of soulless fake hipster zombies and managers who seem to derive sexual pleasure from holding extremely ineffective meetings, endlessly rubbing their calendars together in their bureaucratic orgy of ineptitude.
So, I'm more proud of my C64 game.2 -
I remember my newbie mistake: I kept on refreshing my browser to see the changes on local, and took me a billion F5s before I realize that I was on live.
I can't be the only one.
#careless9 -
TLDR - you shouldn't expect common sense from idiots who have access to databases.
I joined a startup recently. I know startups are not known for their stable architecture, but this was next level stuff.
There is one prod mongodb server.
The db has 300 collections.
200 of those 300 collections are backups/test collections.
25 collections are used to store LOGS!! They decided to store millions of logs in a nosql db because setting up a mysql server requires effort, why do that when you've already set up mongodb. Lol 😂
Each field is indexed separately in the log.
1 collection is of 2 tb and has more than 1 billion records.
Out of the 1 billion records, 1 million records are required, the rest are obsolete. Each field has an index. Apparently the asshole DBA never knew there's something called capped collection or partial indexes.
Trying to get approval to clean up the db since 3 months, but fucking bureaucracy. Extremely high server costs plus every week the db goes down since some idiot runs a query on this mammoth collection. There's one single set of credentials for everything. Everyone from applications to interns use the same creds.
And the asshole DBA left, making me in charge of handling this shit now. I am trying to fix this but am stuck to get approval from business management. Devs like these make me feel sad that they have zero respect for their work and inability to listen to people trying to improve the system.
Going to leave this place really soon. No point in working somewhere where you are expected to show up for 8 hours, irrespective of whether you even switch on your laptop.
Wish me luck folks.3 -
Tells my non-programming friend that it's way more complex to program an A.I. that simply distinguishes a tree, than to make a program that adds up for like, a billion numbers...
SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.2 -
LinkedIn is probably the closest thing we have to a parallel universe,
where all HRs hand out more salary to candidates than they asked for,
where 100% of people struggle in the beginning get their big break and turn their business into a multi-billion dollar company,
where there is no such thing as office politics, every employee is always happy to be a part of the organization.
where each team identifies themselves as a "family".
#ugh15 -
Android Studio Installation.
What is the fucking point of giving an option to install the software somewhere other than C drive when the installation fails if done so.
Fucking cunts, multi billion dollar company my ass. Go to hell you stupid fucks.15 -
A mate from highschool contacted me the other day, offering me a job on this grand new idea he had.
So I said: "Allright, lets hear it, whats the idea?"
Him: "Trust me, its the next billion dollar app! It is a whole new social network for..."2 -
Dear wordpress developers,
You have my sincerest apologies. I used to think developing with wordpress is what people do when they are feeling lazy and dont want to work with code and frameworks. But no... wordpress,shopify and all those shitty ready CMSs are by far the worst methods of developing websites or web applications. I have spent countless hours in my new job in the past two months simply trying to resolve issues caused by wordpress websites suddenly deciding to stop working after one of the billion plugins required to do the simplest of tasks was updated. The money i need to spend on premium plugins alone makes developing the website no longer profitable in the first place. And god forbid the client asks for a very simple frontend edit that the theme doesnt offer in the theme options menu. Even tho doing the feature from scratch would take next to no time at all if you do it yourself... you end up trying out a hundred plugins just to achieve something in a ways that feels very forced. Nothing will ever top cakephp for me2 -
New feature on the Cuntbook. Want to write a post to a page? Poof, and it's gone! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING FEATURE!!! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING COMPANY!!!
CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
Oh and just to load our pages it takes 20 seconds. Because fuck you, this is Web 2.0. FUCK!!!
9 -
My annoying 19-yo nephew wants to drop out of CompSci to "create the next billion-dollar startup".
I told him I would give him 10 rupees (USD 0.10) for 0.000000001% percent of his "pass me the butter at the diner table" company.
He accepted. Thus, his "heritage protein logistics startup" had an series-A valuation of a billion American dollars!
Hopefully he will stay in college now.2 -
Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.
1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.
I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.
It always keeps me coming back. -
Interesting fact: Dogecoin is popular because of a Reddit bot that stole everyone's money.
DogeTipBot, a Reddit bot that was designed as a 3rd party resource for tipping Reddit users for good content was a bot that used Dogecoin as a micro-tipping service, giving many users their first crypto experience and popularizing the coin.
The creator of DogeTipBot went bankrupt, sold all of his coins, AND all of the coins of his users, and shut down the bot.
A currency born as a joke, made intentionally as backwards as possible, and popularized by a scam, is now worth $50 billion USD... now that's a meme.18 -
Historically, in operating rooms, surgeons would discard biomedical waste in buckets. When a patient died on the operating table, the lead surgeon would get so upset that he would "kick the bucket", which is now a term for when someone dies.
That's a fake fact, just like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"2 -
Hey everyone I'm starting a blockchain company called Useless Blockchain.
You should really get in and invest before we make our first billion $$$.7 -
It says here https://lingolex.com/ants.htm that ant brain has 250000 brain cells, so 40000 ants add up to one human.
The biggest unitary colony found so far has something over 300 millions of ants. They also form federations also called megacolonies and those spread across large areas and are estimated over a billion.
They have insect version of agriculture and they can decide what is the purpose of an ant when it's egg is laid (also depends on time of the year). They don't fight other ants with the same smell, which pretty much carries down.
What are they thinking about all day? Are they like "let's lay three more billions and then take over" or is it more like "how does my butt smell to you? let's eat that leaf" Because if they have hive mind as they say then they add up to some serious intelligence :-|
>.>
<.<
¯\(0_o)/¯7 -
After months of development, testing, testing and even more testing the app was ready for deployment to production. Happy days, the end was in sight!
I had a week's leave so I handed over the preparation for deployment to my Senior Developer and left it in his capable hands while I enjoyed the sun and many beers.
I came back on the day of deployment and proudly pressed the deploy button. Hurrah!
Not long after I got loads of phone calls from around the country as the app wasn't working. What madness is this?! We tested this for months!
Turns out my Senior didn't like the way I'd written the SQL queries so he changed them. Which is obviously both annoying and unprofessional, but even worse he got a join wrong so the memory usage was a billion times more and it drained the network bandwidth for the whole site when I tried to debug it.
I got all the grief for the app not working and for causing many other incidents by running queries that killed the network.
So...much... rage!!!3 -
devRant Q&A: What is the biggest lie in technology?
My favourite is: OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA9 -
I bless everyone with happiness worth billions of dollars and additional billion dollar in cash.
Live happy everyone. I hope all your good dreams come true.24 -
Trump and Biden flying small Cessna. Biden says: I can throw out a $100 bill and make one person happy. Trump says: I can throw out ten bills and make ten people happy. Pilot says: I can throw out both of you and make 8 billion people happy!6
-
How I HATE being treated as a 24/7 IT helpdesk just because I studied Computer Scieeeeeence. People come to you with a billion questions every day!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.10 -
When you really want to forget java for a lifetime and uninstall it but you find a java implementation of something you've been looking for hours.
5 -
Rant !Dev
News says FB took a huge plunge and Zuckerburg lost $15 billion in 1 day and this is the result of all the privacy breaches
I'm looking at the price charts and even from my memory, it's still higher than when I checked last time.
Am I missing something or it seems news these days and the headline journalists are just monkeys finding the quickest way to get attention and some money? And reporting things out of context... Too me it just looks like a market correction... Just like bitcoins...
3 -
Reading up on how floats are stored and it's pretty cool how you can store numbers as large as 3.4×10^38 in the same amount of memory that an integer can store only about 2 billion.
Absolutely wonderful7 -
When the multi billion euro company you work for doesn't use a CMS, but let's the content editors edit your precious HTML and CSS.3
-
I work for a web agency.
Over the last 18 months a company asked us about 5 different quotes for rather minimal changes to their website.
While being minimal changes, estimating costs for them still requires several hours of work for research, meetings, correspondance and writing the damn things. They never even gave us a response (neither positive nor negative), except once where they told us that they wouldn't pay for project management because their instructions are so clear that PM isn't necessary.
As a response to the last one, after several months, they send us a 10 pages long pdf with requirements for a new website (or a "restyle" like they call it, even if it has absolutely nothing in common with the current one).
We inform them that we can't permit ourselves to continue studying new solutions for free and therefore tell them that a detailed offer would cost them something like 300$, and that amount would then be discounted from the eventually accepted job. We also roughly estimate a price range of about 15k - 20k for the new website.
We get an email back, from the CEO (until now it was a secretary), with essentially 3 arguments written in condescending form:
1. he brags about his revenue being over 9 billion $$$ a year, and that being a part of a global holding for which "communication is essential" (sic.) means that they need to coordinate and "can't simply accept an offer" [even if it's 400$, for specific change exactly requested by them, I guess...]
2. 15k is too much [... for the website representing this 9 billion dollar holding on the internet, for which the requirements are written in the 10 pages long pdf]
3. He asks for a meeting
We accept the meeting, we go to their office.
When we arrive there, the secretary informs us that the CEO will not participate. So we talk the her and the head of the "Communication Dept" in videoconference.
I explain them that if the sum, which we thought would be appropriate (~15 - 20k), is too high, the Pareto principle would allow us to, theoretically, achieve about 80% of the features and quality for about 20% of the cost. Their genuine response is:
"So your estimate was wrong! You can do it for much less!".
I try to explain them that the most money in a project goes into "attention to detail".
The "Communication Dept." person, who is "doing this job since too much time" (sic.), refuses to believe and insists that "details" don't exist on the web.
I tell her: "In any kind of work, the more effort you put into something, the better it tends to get, with diminishing returns".
She insists: "I don't understand this".
So now I'm here, doing the 6th offer, free of charge, for a 5k website, for a company that generates 9kkk revenue each year, trying to define a "Definition of Done" that works out.
FML I guess.
Sorry for the long post.7 -
Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!
It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.
Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?
Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...
This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...
Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now9 -
100 billion dollars spent on artificial intelligence and large language models because people don’t want to talk with each other.6
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Goddamn, why is Android SDK setup such a stupendous pain in the ass?
"Wah wah, can't find JDK!"
Wtf are you talking about you stupid fuck, JDK is right there, all IDEs find it, environment vars are set, it is the right version and is used on this machine for a billion development purposes! Stop being a useless cunt!
And this is everytime. Had to setup up Android SDK four or five times by now on different machines and it has NEVER gone smoothly. There is always a plethora of different issues and you end up wasting all day going through fucking dependency hell!
Read a book on ergonomics, you colossal android fucks. Just because you got JetBrains behind your IDE and they actually know what they are doing, doesn't make your setup process any less of a braindead nightmare.
Fucking hell.6 -
My worst Technology I've worked with is deffinatly the Facebook Graph API.
THIS AIDS INVESTED PIECE OF CUNTFLAPS IS FULL OF BUGS THAT THEY REFUSE TO SOLVE.
How such a multi-billion dollar business can produce such a retardedly incestious sucky fuck dick ass cunt broken API is beyond me.
FUCK!!!5 -
Devs: Can we please get adequate hardware to do our job correctly? Please, just a new set of larger monitors.
Lower management: Sure, this is going to be easy.
Upper management: Wait what? This will cost us around 500€ times 10? Any maybe in the end other departments will want that to, so make it times 100.
We're a 4+ billion company ... but yes, please, I love scroll bars and they make my work so much faster.4 -
I am at +301. How do I know for sure my ++ count isn't frozen and I actually have a billion ++'s??8
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It’s the big things.
Microsoft Kin. Both models. Brand new, not a single scratch. Full package.
M$ spent around a billion dollars to make these. They were discontinued after TWO MONTHS. Fewer than 10,000 units were sold. That makes one of them worth $100,000 in development.
7 -
Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.
Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"2 -
Hackers hid backdoor in CCleaner, with 2 billion downloads and 2.3 million greatly affected and detected so far, go fuck yourself you Windows fucking gloating noob fanboys showing off how you clean your C with CCleaner like a breeze, go clean your ass now and hope there's no backdoor there! 🖕8
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Every single time a cool electronic device comes out, that connects to an API. The nerd in me can’t resist getting on a 3 month waiting list to get said gadget. I impatiently wait. I get gadget. It’s usually cool but never as cool as the marketing made it seem….thats not the rant yet.
Within 2 year the company is gone and i’m left with a $500-$1,000 paperweight that doesn’t work anymore.
This has happened to every single device I have bought that wasn’t from a billion $ company.
These companies would rather screw everyone over instead of simply making the backend of product open-source so people that use the product can at least try to get it working again.
My 1st rant. Sorry in much better in real life at bitching about things 😎7 -
bro just learn C bro I promise it's all smooth sailing bro haha lol just take up HTML with CSS bro its a piece of cake bro what bro lol just start coding up differential equations with numpy library haha its so simple bro just start with Ruby bro it will take only couple days bro what lol bro take this aeronautical course on how to code an airplane simulation bro its so simple bro just start algorithms on cryptography bro its so easy i cant bro just start writing drivers for printers bro haha lol just start writing a bootloader for a new Linux distro bro lol haha easy bro just make a billion dollar company bro haha its so simple.
keep going bro haha invent your own JS framework over a billion existing ones haha bro typescript is so easy bro lol what u say take up redis bro go from the first command bro learn mongodb and mysql together bro its so simple.
but bro don't try to master JS bro .. u will regret it forever bro.6 -
What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.
INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!10 -
Truecaller fraud😁 no internet or wifi connection on phone but the total number in truecaller keeps increasing. They have just added an increment function since establishment and here they have 2 billion contacts 😂😂😂#shame_truecaller
8 -
4th grade. My parents left for the night and got a babysitter for me and my younger siblings. The babysitter showed me a game she likes in IE. You could make an account, raise a digital pet, a "neopet," play flash games for points to buy items from other users who listed them in their own stores that had custom css/html, including bg music. This was the first time I had really witnessed what the web could look like. Animated tiled gif bgs really amazed me so I took to google with which I discovered sites where one could copy css and html snippets for themes. I stored each new html tag I discovered via w3cschools.com in a powerpoint where the snippets I found were pasted somewhere randomly in the ppt. From there I learned html, CSS, and a billion other things. To date I've made websites, apps with several langs in win/Linux/osx/Android (but not ios yet). I've managed servers, and databases , and DNS records. I've in even ran website with 100k requests a day.
3 -
Aggressively eliminate from your life everything that causes the slightest mental distress. Replace everything that has to it even a hint of undesirable emotions.
I once read about a girl who left work to buy a plane ticket to Australia to get away from her abusive boyfriend, and started her life from scratch. Being in an abusive relationship myself, I envied her.
One million seconds is eleven days. One billion seconds is 31 years. If you have just one second to spend with a person, you won't run out of the population for 248 whole years. There is no such thing as an irreplaceable person, no matter if they're your father, mother, best friend, wife, or husband.
Pain and trauma won't really go away, but they won't get bigger. You, however, can. One day you will be dying, and realizing at that moment that you didn't live the life you wanted to live, while knowing it's too late now, is the scariest thing that can happen to a human being. As you fade away, the sense of time will slip, and whatever you're feeling will stretch to eternity. Make it an eternity of calm happiness, and not an eternity of doubt and sorrow.
Make sure that when this moment comes, you're ready and comfortable with the life you lived. At least be confident it was YOUR life, and not someone else's.
This goes to everyone, both mentally/physically ill and healthy, and to both neurotypical and on the spectrum.12 -
I don't think it's to complicated...
Dumb clients, no matter who they are if they want you to fix their computer ... Create a new Twitter , hack, when you don't hack.
They make our lives hell .. why ? Because ignorance.
My favourite is when they expect you to work for nothing.oh but you can have 2% it's a billion dollar idea you'll make like 20 mill!😒🙄 All I'll do is sit here since i was the genius if the idea you work out the details ? 400 hours you say? I'm sure it'll take 20 don't be silly now.1 -
I think this is both a blessing and a curse for me.
Whenever I'm developing something, I ALWAYS keep coming up with new (good) feature ideas WHILE programming. Now, this isn't as bad because they enrich the software/service mostly but goddamn, it's so fucking annoying when I'm working on a certain function/feature and I change stuff three motherfucking trillion times before finishing it because I keep coming up with fifteen billion new ideas.
In the end it's all worth it but at some moments it gets really fucking annoying.9 -
Linus Torvalds, while writing about the future of Linux in his autobiography 'Just For Fun', said Linux will be used in cell phones in near future. He wrote this in 2000. After 16 years, we see Android (based on Linux Kernel) in over a billion cell phones! What a visionary! Makes me wonder!
3 -
Today I discovered the yes command in Linux. All I can say is yes. Thank you whoever did this. Friggin 1.5 billion y's in 10 seconds. That is exactly what I need.4
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Friend: i have an idea
Me: what is it?
Friend: uber is not yet here, lets do the app exactly like uber only for the city, can you do that like in one month?
Me: uber is a billion dollar company with several and the best engineers in the world
Friend: so what, just copy the exact same idea, of course the money comes when the app is done
Me: sure... ill call you in a month. (delete conversation) -
One of my colleges complained that the remote vm he uses to test his Java-Code is so slow that he thinks it's actually just a potatoe.
I said to him... Well you know... 3 Billion Devices run Java.
2 -
a client today wanted a specialized high performance, extremely stable, stock management software for pharmaceutical products, he also wants the software distributed, cross platform, and expect the delivery to be in a week or so, oh and did i mention that he also wants it to have an extremely good looking ui,
he got offended that i said you can only have one or two of those things not all of them,
for context, I'm just a freelancer not a big company and doing what he wants is impossible for me, also it was a billion ages since i worked on anything desktop related, web is all I'm diving into lately7 -
Idk if people noticed but Snapchat CEO allegedly said that he doesn't want to expand in poor countries like India and Spain.
Well good luck getting hatred from 1+billion people.
The rating section had a drastic increase in the 1 star rating. Damn, that's one way how to not run a business.4 -
When your website is worth 75 billion and you still can't get your fucking app to work properly...
(Youtube app playing a video in the image)
8 -
my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.
I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.
If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.
See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.
Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.4 -
Do you guys often get upset because of people that ask your job because when somebody asks me what I do for a living and I say "I'm a programmer" this someone says one of these:
1- Oh really, can you tell me HoW tO HaCk NaSa? (It's more often than you think)
2- WOW AWESOME SO I HAVE THIS BiLlIon DolLarS ApP IdeA CaN yOu ProGraM iT?
3- Hm... and... what do you do for a living? (Apparently programming is not a job)
4- Cool! Me too! Bcs once I MaDe ThiS GaMe I prOGraMmed WiTh GaMeMaKer (true story, and it was a flappy bird, but in the place of the bird it was chuck norris with a moustache instead.)(with lasers.)(Also it wasn't really working.)
5- Cool bro, so, can you take a look at my printer?
6- Hm nice * looks away with disgusting face * (that was my own family lol ;-;)9 -
Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.
Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.
Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.
Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).1 -
Today some random highschool guy who i barely knew tried to convince me to build for him his "billion dollar" social app while he handles the business side. I burnt that crap with eternal holy fire before he even finished that sentence!1
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Wtf, just heard on the news about the IPO of Slack, it now has a company worth of 25 billion dollars. I always thought of Slack as a normal startup that is kinda successful, but 25 billion is unbelievable.5
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Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos becomes the first person ever worth $200 billion.
Thanks to my prime membership , else he'd still be at $199.999999999999 billion -
I'm going to be that guy .... A lot of these rants are about code compiling first time .. Throwing away code you wrote because you didn't need it... Getting in the zone and writing a billion lines before you compile .... Am I the only freaking person here that does TDD ? My rant is wake up people ! People evangelize about it because it fucking works !6
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My file structure:
Documents -
- That one impeccably structured folder that I never remember to put anything in
- Gigantic project folder that will some day kill me in my sleep
- That one unrelated folder that all of my non project scripts just end up in. No structure whatsoever
- about 2 billion loose files5 -
Is it wrong to expect some widespread documentation from a $350 billion company to properly document a key part of their upgrade path for a new SDK version? beware any Android devs upgrading from API 3.X to 4.X on the Facebook SDK.......you'll want FacebookSdk.setLegacyTokenUpgradeSupported(true); before your call to initialize.....
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It looks like reddit is about to expand by approximately raising $150 Million. https://bloomberg.com/news/...2
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I got my dirty fingers on this leak of an AMAZING ML model capable of pondering EVERY PARAMETER IN THE UNIVERSE and saying if your business idea needs improvement or is good to go.
BEHOLD THIS 100% PURE PYTHON SOLUTION:
```python
import random
def magic(*args, **kwargs):
if random.random() > 0.5:
return "Good to go!"
else:
return "Requires improvement on value proposition"
```
This LEAK is from a startup that just received 4 BILLION USD IN VENTURE CAPITAL to improve their AI SYSTEMS.
Literally enough money to solve world hunger forever.
Who else is gonna invest in NEW THERANOS ADVANCED A.I. RESEARCH INTERNATIONAL INC?8 -
If we made computers out of Fry's transistors, it would cost a couple billion dollars. These better be insanely deluxe.
1 -
This might not be a perfect place to post this, but we are trying to get help from all possible places.
As you may know, Kerala, a state in India, is going through the worst time of its history. We are exposed to tumultuous and disastrous flooding which have destroyed both our life and living.
All the rivers, streams and lakes are overflowing throughout the states due to heavy rainfall. The shutter of all the dams have been opened and the water rush have washed away the towns and villages on it's flood path. The situation is much more frightening than we can explain.
Over 250000 people are in rehabilitation camps. Even hospitals are under water. The count of the lives that we have lost and people missing are still not confirmed yet. The roads, bridges and homes damaged are beyond repair. Rivers have been spilling over and the hills are crashing down in landslides to thickly-populated settlements. Our government and rescue bodies are doing commendable work for saving each and every life, but are facing severe shortage of funds and resources. This has affected the efficiency of the rescue efforts, which also contribute to the increasing death toll. It is estimated unofficially that the cost of disaster can be up to 100 billion INR, which seems to be a huge fund for our small state.
So hereby we are requesting your kind donation and aid towards relief fund of the state.Your valuable donations will grossly help us to ease our efforts for relief, re-habitilation and re-building.
I'm not posting any links where you can donate, I'm aware that you guys can google it.1 -
How to NOT handle dates!
Do not put the date to "mdy" format, today would be 050217.
Working on an intranet for some multi-billion corporation, and was wondering why events from last year were showing.
Last year's events were 28th of October, 2016, and was showing as upcoming events :)
Checked the code, and saw this. Quick fix, turned dates to UNIX timestamp, and it worked.
2 -
How tf is Canva valued at >40 billion. Boggles my mind. Never heard anyone even using it!!!!
Is it a state sponsored hacking and surveillance project company with a pink tutu on the front and Cthulhu tentacles in the back?21 -
Saying Java is good because it runs on 3 billion devices is the same like saying mass public transport is good because it carry billions of people.8
-
This guitar looks heavily worn, yet it’s brand new. It’s called a “relic” — the guitar is artificially aged. Relics always cost crazy amount of money compared to regular guitars.
Relics were invented by Keith Richards, when he said “bash ‘em up a bit” to a guitar master builder from Fender, the guitar company.
With one phrase, Keith created a billion dollar industry.
7 -
How the ...
This is even the description on Coinbase and still...
About Dogecoin
Dogecoin (DOGE) was created in 2013 as a lighthearted alternative to traditional cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. The Dogecoin name and Shiba Inu logo are based on a meme. Unlike Bitcoin, which is designed to be scarce, Dogecoin is intentionally abundant — 10,000 new coins are mined every minute and there is no maximum supply.
Keep in mind
Unlike Bitcoin, which is designed to be scarce and resistant to inflation, Dogecoin was created to be abundant. There are about 130 billion DOGE circulating, and miners produce another 10,000 every minute.
7 -
Clients expecting quotes before explaining the full extent of the work and then getting mad when I change it after they add a billion more features.
Also, cross-browser testing 😫🔫1 -
Happy that Facebook “lost” 230 billion in valuation (got off that toxic platform years ago as well as Instagram). Should I stop using React Native as well?15
-
so Broadcom bought VMWare.... so now whenever you go to any community support page that used to be on VMWare's community, you're just always redirected to Broadcom's support homepage...
another billion dollar company that has failed to understand the basics in HTTP and DNS
what do i expect...
i don't know, they probably only have like 2 devs, i shouldn't be so hard on them
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡3 -
when life gives you lemon, buy vodka and stuff. prepare good vodka martini. then develop an app to sell it across countries.
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WooCommerce is shit
Just try to find anything in the documentation on their retarded website and you will get what I am talking about.
A billion of unstructured links. With absolutely no sidebar or table of contents.
IMPOSSIBLE to find any fuck there.
It is far easier to build an e-store from scratch, than to customize their ugly monster.
Now look Laravel or PHPunit documentation to compare how it should be.
-
I am sick of misrotated videos.
Sometimes, the phone camera software saves a video vertically because the user hits "record" before the software has detected that the user is holding the smartphone horizontally, because the software stupidly launches in vertical orientation by default.
So the software wants the user to wait until it has finally detected horizontal orientation, which causes the user to miss out on a moment.
How about the camera software actually saves the video in the orientation it was recorded in for the most time, rather than only the beginning of the video?
If I can think of this idea, billion-dollar companies surely can.
In the meantime, misrotated videos can be fixed using this ffmpeg command on Linux or Windows:
ffmpeg -i input_file.mp4 -metadata:s:v rotate="0" -c copy output_file.mp4
And if the phone was held with the home button to the left side:
ffmpeg -i input_file.mp4 -metadata:s:v rotate="180" -c copy output_file.mp4
This solution is superior compared to using -vf (video filters) because it only touches the metadata of the video. No re-encoding. This means no quality loss and no CPU/GPU power needed to process the video again. It just passes through.
10 -
A report from The Register :
ICANN has halted the proposed $1.1 billion sale of the .org registry to a private equity firm. The DNS overseer has been under growing pressure to use its authority to refuse the planned transfer of the top-level domain from the Internet Society to Ethos Capital. "ICANN ultimately bowed to the US state's top lawyer when it concluded today it "finds the public interest is better served in withholding consent."
The decision will likely spark a mixture of relief and celebration from millions of .org domain holders, including some of the world's largest non-profit organizations, many of which were certain that their long-standing online addresses were going to be milked for profit by an organization that never fully revealed who its directors or investors were.2 -
I've worked for 2 firms with billion dollar revenue on contract basis in last years, but I'm still a year away from graduating.
It feels suffocating when after a great night of work I have to go to class among people who don't care about programming at all
I just want to graduate and leave this place...
Ps. Attendance is compulsory in my college and I take computer science classes
Pss. I already make thrice of the highest package in offered in my college for last three years!5 -
I'm going nuts with this isolation, so next on my agenda... let's learn flutter!
Anyone have some half decent app tuts (preferably not videos) that they can suggest? I'm sure the usual "to do" list has been done and dusted a billion times, I'm looking for something more explorative into different features of flutter rather then just a "build this"5 -
The only 4 mobile games on all app stores: "shit for other consoles or PC or Flash ported badly to mobile for $5", "idle clicker don't-play-to-succeed game fuck you pay me to succeed faster", "complete XYZ random quick thing 300 billion times", and "free-to-make shit like chess or crosswords or w/e but bad so we make money on empty promises"
i just want something good to play when bored in the car or some shit without needing multiple devices5 -
So I started working at a large, multi billion dollar healthcare company here in the US, time for round 2,(previously I wasn't a dev or in IT at all). We have the shittiest codebase I have ever laid eyes on, and its all recent! It's like all these contractors only know the basics of programming(i'm talking intro to programming college level). You would think that they would start using test driven development by now, since every deployment they fix 1 thing and break 30 more. Then we have to wait 3 months for a new fix, and repeat the cycle, when the code is being used to process and pay healthcare claims.
Then some of my coworkers seem to have decided to treat me like I'm stupid, just because I can't understand a single fucking word what they're saying. I have hearing loss, and your mumbling and quiet tone on top of your think accent while you stop annunciated your words is quite fucking hard to understand. Now I know english isn't your first language and its difficult, I know, mine is Spanish. But for the love of god learn to speak the fuck up, and also learn to write actual SQL scripts and not be a fucking script kiddie you fucking amateur. The business is telling you your data is wrong because you're trying to find data that exists is complex and your simple select * from table where you='amateur with "10years" experience in SQL' ain't going to fucking cut it. Learn to solve problems and think analytically instead of copy fucking pasta. -
Begin working on new project
Don't know how to implement a feature
A billion solutions online, understand one of them
Spend hours implementing and google-bug-fixing
Get it working
Incompatible with everything else I want to do
Mfw.jpg
$ git reset --hard HEAD~ -
Two words that instill fear in any database developer: Cartesian Join.
I didn’t realize what was happening until the DBA paid me a personal visit asking what I was running that had cached over a billion rows.3 -
I started at a tiny Web firm as a front-end dev. I was OK at it at best. Only 6 months in to this part-time job (I was also a firearms instructor), the only backend developer left. I was then forced to pick up a book to learn ColdFusion 8. I had to finish a project for a multi billion company... even though I only knew basic queries and form submissions. At the end of the project I learned so much... I went back to pages that I knew were terrible and refactored them. Since there are so fresh CF developers I was able to get contract positions in many places. Over 6 months later I now work for one of the largest development companies in the states.6
-
"In the beginning, God created Heavens and Earth. It was supposed to have been done in a week, but He had problems with some SaaS service providers and it ended up taking several billion years"
My one-week-task haven't got to a billion years (yet), but it was EXCLUSIVELY due to SaaS providers going bananas and not solving SHIT with their own shitty problem-making solutions.16 -
So we're about to launch the annual financial reports for a multi-billion corporation, but as usual, they're late at providing us with the information we need.
Recently they thought they had been hacked, so they blocked our access to their servers, which we need to upload the annual reports! Oh, the lovely hierarchy in large companies.
But hey, they finally decided to drop IE6 support, so that's a win1 -
How do you respond to the person who says this: "Hey #{insert_your_name}, I overheard that you are a programmer, I would like to tell suggest you a billion-dollar business app idea"?6
-
Want to impress people. Create a number guessing game using the "binary search algorithm" and your program will be able to guess any number in a range of 10000 in 14 trys or less or 1 billion in 30.3
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The fires in australia killed something like half a billion animals, and it's kind of sad, all that potential barbecue going to waste.
We have the means to solve this. With KNAWWWWLEDGE.
What we do is hook up buckets to a bunch of big ass drones and have some sort of contest to see who can put out the most acreage of fire. People will come from all over for the annual "australian fire olympics."
Shit, put a $1 million dollar bounty on "most acreage put out" stream it on twitch, youtube, netflix, you name it.
Fires would be out in a day or three.12 -
According to SimilarWeb, Bing has more than 1 billion visits each month which means that millions of people do not find what they are looking for...
Someone has to stop this madness!1 -
Coding is not the solution to unemployment or gender inequality... This what the MF don't understand.... Until you create a better Sys and population is controlled and there is cultural evaluation. - you MF are just running a circus show.
Every MF want to jump into the bandwagon of cheap CSR - "hey we are empowering people by teaching people how to develop a website , aren't we good peopLE 😊"
Lol like programming is fucking open source, you don't need to teach people, anyone interested can learn it , and they are billion FREE RESOURCES out here for them to learn, so why not just fucking focus on doing something significant than clowning around "become a dev ".
Fuck havard, fuck Google fuck KMPG fuck the fucking dumb Government fuck youth empowerment📌4 -
Rant!
What ryms my gears seeing those posts on LinkedIn:
1. What startups need to do to become the next billion dollars corporate
2. App ideas that will sell in millions
3. What every wannabe needs to know to become the best entrepreneur
I honestly don't recall adding other than devs and HRs 😒 -
I've seen a lot of stuff mentioned here from little hobby projects to Matrix. This might seem unreachable because it's just too utopic, but I'd really love to at least see the world using one single platform for software that would "just work™".
Like, here you have - simple glue lang, SDK with billion _useful_ libraries that also just work™ and no need to change the code too much or select an alternative function for each different platform e.g. via macros and one last wish - it'll work on every machine that's capable of running any code.
Maybe one day...2 -
So apparantly Gitlab is going public. Any thoughts or just go ahed an buy into the IPO?!
https://marketwatch.com/story/...4 -
"What language should I learn?" Wellll.
[0]
43 PERCENT Of banking systems are built on COBOL
80 PERCENT Of in-person transactions use COBOL
95 PERCENT Of ATM swipes rely on COBOL code
220 BILLION Lines of COBOL in use today
"Experienced COBOL programmers can earn more than $100 an hour when they get called in to patch up glitches, rewrite coding manuals or make new systems work with old." [1]
Found this pretty interesting/crazy.
Source:
[0] http://tmsnrt.rs/2nMf18G
[1] http://reuters.com/article/...6 -
Friend of mine wants to use his old blu ray player as a surround sound amp. Okay, sure it's supposed to have that functionality.
Struggle, struggle, struggle. Then I see on the back, a powered by Java sticker. Guess it's one of those 3 billion devices4 -
Today I was minding my own coding-committing-pushing business, when all of a sudden, a split second before typing Enter on a command, the obnoxious UPDATE JAVA popup reared it's ugly head.
Normally I just politely recommend it to fuck off and let me manage my Java versions with homebrew on my own time. But I had no time to not press Enter, and so it rapidly started downloading/installing.
Thankfully I had juuust enough time to hit the cancel button. The progress bar it was showing stopped at 81%. Didn't even have time to read what it said. Crisis averted. Them NSA fucks be like, "curses, foiled again!"
This was probably the most intense moment of the year for me. I think my lifespan grew shorter a few months.
Dreaded auto-updates are getting smarter. They nearly got me when I was in a vulnerable state of hitting Enter many times. Stay on your toes!1 -
Html5 vs Adobe flash. Html5 won
Html5 vs java Web embedded app. Html5 won
Therefore Html5 vs java 3 billion devices. Ans=?5 -
I just don't understand how people can be so careless with security. It's like every other fucking day you about 150 billion email address, SSNs, birth certificates, credit cards, private messages, you pet's medical records, and your personal DNA are fucking leaked and the best we got are "what street did you grow up on" to reset a password.2
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Whelp, looks like sony will soon own the entire Japanese media import market in North America (again).
Unfortunately, it also means they're breaking up otter media, which means that vrv will be reduced to nothing. I would imagine that this will spell the end for either the Crunchyroll or Funimation brand in the not too distant future.
https://theinformation.com/articles...4 -
No one loves Java as much as Google and Oracle. They are willing to have a battle in court. Or maybe it is just that $9 billion 😂😂😝
But on a serious note as a former paralegal "I don't think copyright should be applied on a programming language " plus, I feel like even if it is applied... google is using java in it's own way (android) as the courts have stated that you can't copyright a language syntax or API definition. So Google can use the Java langauge syntax and core Java API freely on Android.
I don't know about you but, a lot of clients do bring up their concerns..on what the implications are for them and their company developing mobile apps!!
Any updates? Concerns? Thoughts?3 -
1. Learn as much as you can before starting your first serious job. Because once you are in production, you are not as much learning new concepts as you are copy pasting, fixing dead code and getting stressed by deadlines.
2. Aim as far as possible and believe in yourself. Facebook or google might comprise of a billion lines of code, but it's not like you can't understand all of it if you gave it your 100%. Be it a weird but amazing looking design or a simple looking calculator, you can figure it out if you are curious and dedicated enough.
3. Learn to google.
4. Don't let assholes berate you. And you WILL meet a lot of assholes in this field.1 -
I had written a negative review of my company Jio on Quora. Some higher-up executives read it and shared it in their internal WhatsApp group, and one of them even reached out to me.
I deleted it back then to be safe, but now I feel like restoring it.
But now Facebook has purchased shares in my company, and everyone seems to be forgetting the fact that Ambani still owes $41 billion in debts to the government. I feel like restoring my deleted Quora to spread awareness, and contribute to the evolution of the IT proletariat consciousness.4 -
Got my first job after graduation for my Java skills. I was told to learn Hybris from its wiki. I gave it my best and worked very hard.
Two months later, manager tells me to forget about Hybris and puts me in a team with two idiots in a new . Net project.
Worked non stop and and single-handedly brought the new project to completion with . Net, bootstrap, jQuery etc.
Again the manager tells me that they need people in integration team and i have to learn Apigee and Informatica.
The thing i regret most is leaving my beautiful code in the hands of those two idiots that will definitely shit all over it.
In case you're wondering, I don't work for a start up, my company is worth US$ 99.64 billion.2 -
every time I run into some issue in rust and spend days googling and asking a billion AI chat bots turns out it was rust that was wrong
I'm so exhausted
do they have brain worms
nobody considers "hey maybe this feature isn't in yet" (and actually they'll argue against it being a feature and you should feel bad at coming up with it)
they're just like "you're doing it wrong!"
YOU HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION TO INFER THE TYPE AND YOU DID INFER THE TYPE YET YOU TELL ME I NEED TO ANNOTATE THE TYPE BUT YOU'VE INFERRED IT AND YOU CANT TELL ME WHY I NEED TO ANNOTATE IT
And I love how suddenly you can convert a Result object using `as` which is a keyword reserved only for primitives, so say the docs... and it works (and works at runtime as well). because the type was never wrong. you fucking inferred it. but you're bitching at me that you need an annotation. when you don't.
remember when languages were made by people that actually liked coding instead of this clout-chasing nonsense. that's what I'm blaming this on12 -
No, I didn't hack your Facebook. You gave me your password. Thank you for assuming I'm qualified to break into a multi-billion dollar company network, though I am definitely not nefarious enough or petty enough to contemplate wasting my time to find out who likes your cat videos.
-
The polio vaccine inventor could've made three billion dollars by patenting it, but instead gave it away for free.3
-
Uni nowadays be like:
Lecturer says everyone should come up with an idea, find out how much it costs, figure out the competition, write a business plan, find out the development costs and indicate your value proposition. Best idea gets an A.
This is more like trading an A for a potential billion dollar idea.2 -
Had an idea for a Webb app tonight that I could use to test some new things out. Didn't get round to the new things but 3 hours later I do have my IDE set up, quarter of a billion npm modules and a gulp flow so complicated it feels like the file system is a rubicks cube...
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I know it’s old hat but…Edge…I mean really how is it still so bad? How do you base your browser of the chromium engine, have, gosh idk, a billion dollar dev budget, and still, still, it’s significantly worse than chrome in every ui/ux way.8
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if null was the billion dollar mistake https://hackernoon.com/null-the-bil...
then what is javascript with null and undefined24 -
Working in an Agile software development department (12 dev teams, >100 developers) inside a very old school traditional business (15000 staff, several billion annual turnover) is an uphill struggle that I don’t know if I have the energy to persevere with.
New year is making me think I push the launch button on a product that I spent all of last year building.
For context I should add that I am a senior person / leader in the department so I have to deal with a lot of shit from the suits. -
Why do these e-marketing companies always have some kind of manager/consultant/strategist/marketeer/whatever to handle emails between me and their devs. Instead of emailing with another technical person and quickly fixing the problem I end up sending one billion emails to someone who has no clue on what needs to be done to fix te problem. From now on my emails contains a part called "to your developer:" explaining the technical part of the email.
And no - I don't want to plan a conference call... just let me code dammit! -
New gmail is shit, better make a gcloud app for linux instead of redesigning that shit billion times, you fucks8
-
There's like a billion developers out there but I'm the single developer this boss man chooses to be a pain in the ass to.
Great. Just great! -
Ever happened,.. ? the whole Application crash due to a bug in one of the libraries used and you skim through the code a million times, make a billion changes but the app still crashes.2
-
HOLY FUCK! Why is JS world so fucking confusing? I haven't even started learning it and its already giving me a headache. I feel like there are a billion different things i have to learn that aren't just "vanilla js". All i want to do is learn some web dev, take on freelance work, become a digital nomad. Im a simple C++ and ios/android developer things are so straight forward. JS seems like a clusterfuck of just stuff 😧 Id like to say this isnt a my language is > than yours rant. This is a "like what the fuck" rant. My brain was like Html, Css, JS cool thats all i have to learn... boy was i wrong. Can someone give me a word of wisdom as i go down this apparent rabbit hole?6
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"Are you sure you want to commit a billion dollar valuation to finish an MVP?"
*Shows only mockups and has a deadline of less than a month*
No thanks. I don't think this company will ever survive -
I started with my first Android project. Here are some of my observations.
Turning of fossil into fuel - 650 million years
Transformation of a star into supernova - 10 billion years
Complete gradle build - fuckzillion years2 -
#Story time.
Been working on a project for 2 months with Colleague "Jim" doing the code reviews. Project is finished in a stable form and can be extended if needed. Then my other colleague/boss "Mo" decided that we need to do a refactor. Fast forward a bit and the conclusion is "Mo" and "Jim" are going to discuss every step with me. And we started a new project that should do the same as the project I just finished
Here some facts:
Every day a meeting/ code review / discussion.
Decisions they make I do not agree with.
I need to redo my work multiple times.
Now this does make me look like a toddler that needs supervision which is not the case.
They want something future proof and something that fits his new coding standard "Mo". and certain things I do agree with and is clearly the better architecture. however somethings are just stupid, time wasting, making it worse. I'm getting so frustrated by the fact that billion dollar companies have clear coding standards that work. and are correct. and this company decided to do their own thing of stupid rules!
- shorten variables
- Keep lines under 90char
- put multiple things in 1 file
- Keep function names short
and many more of removing stuff and let you guess stuff..
I just... *sigh* get so tired of this shit.
*names are randomly chosen2 -
Alright, my very first post here was about this project and I am thinking it out loud again.
I see a problem and I am struggling to find a solution.
Now what I am thinking of is to articulate the problem well and state WHY I believe it needs to be solved. There are some reasons which must be presented in a capitalist way.
Furthermore, I am thinking of doing a market research to understand various demographics, validate the idea, and figure out the product-market fit.
Now, this qualitative research and quantitative data will help me decide whether it is worth putting in the efforts to solve the problem or not.
And since, we have an MVP already (funnily yes, we built it before all of the above), that will help me validate the tangible solution.
Once we get a confidence boost, then it will be time to get that single transaction which has net positive cash flow.
Start scaling to 'next billion users', so a billion transaction with net positive cash flow.
I won't be branching out into multiple verticals before be able to sustainably scale the core USP.
And while the second half sounds like, 'I have a million dollar idea', I am trying to be more and more realistic and rationale instead of falling in love with my idea.
I don't even have an idea (read solution) to fall in love with. Rather I have a problem that is bothering me.
So, yes, I am continuing this journey to solve the problem which started in second year of my hostel room and has evolved over 10 years. -
eleven billion, seven hundred twenty-three million, five hundred twelve thousand, three hundred sixty-eight hashes later and I still haven't found the vanity address I'm looking for 😴...
-
I know someone that’s constantly paranoid about being spied on by the government and fears companies stealing his code e.g. github, Microsoft etc.
His solution:
do nothing until we find a secure platform to write code on so that our ‘billion dollar ideas don’t get stolen’
Suffice to say that he’s a very bad coder, not that I’m really that good but compared to him I’m light years ahead.1 -
Well, it's been a few shitty and dark days... Somehow this made me smile a bit
https://neowin.net/news/...1 -
Question for iOS users (not that I'm looking into an iPhone, just curious)
What is the general state on app notifications? Because I've just about had it with the absolute fucking torrent of notifications whenever you install some random app on Android.
You install some random exercise app and the next day it will say "so did you get your exercise you lazy fucker?".
You install some random food recipe app and it immediately tells you to get your luncheon going with over a billion recipes (and probably all bad)7 -
There are billionaires/millionaires who get asked almost the same question -> "What would you advise for a beginner?" and they usually say some BS answer like -> "Wake up early. Read books. Workout" etc. And they get clowned on for giving out "generic" advices.
But I think, they do it on purpose. Like, think about it. If I make a billion dollars tomorrow, (somehow), why would I lay out step by step to you, on how I did it? Why would I increase competition for myself by giving you "real" advice?
So they will never reveal what they did to get where they are, whether it is joining an elite cult, selling their soul to the devil or just keeping the business active. We will only get generic advices because it's an easy cop-out.3 -
So my future isp Jio fiber is rumoured to be using DPI. Main proof comes when a executive said "It’s called Deep Packet Inspection, and what you can do with the analytics of that is mind-boggling," in a new article. https://reuters.com/article/...
Should I be afraid or am I just being paranoid. Also should I just switch to another isp altogether if they are using DPI.
Also mini rant :- They make it harder to use your own router by not allowing bridge mode on their router and custom onts dont seem to work. The best option is to connect lan port of their router to the wan port of your router and disable wifi on their router3 -
Dear open source tool authors,
DOCUMENT YOUR SHIT! YOU CANT RELEASR A BILLION VERSIONS OF IT AND STOP DOCUMENTING AT VERSION 1.4!
WHAT DOES THIS CALL DO???????? CAN I USE IT TO SOLVE MY PROBLEM? FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Learn from Brett woolridge, creator of HikakiCP.6 -
> be you, paypal, a billion dollar company
> your react paypal button dist js file, which is a button that makes api calls, is over 1300 lines long
> 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡2 -
About a month ago, one billion of Yahoo Accounts has been compromised. Today I received two emails from yahoo in my gmail accounts, they were saying that my yahoo password has been changed and my recovery email has been removed (+ a lot of warning emails of old accounts of forum and games that were receiving unknown accesses, but nvm). In the email which informed me about the recovery, I saw a link that would have allowed me to restore the old account, but before to click I thought "Wait! I had like 10 yahoo accounts. What account am I saving?" I check, I read, I read again, but nothing, no information about it in the text. Nevermind, there's a link. This link will be related to a specific account. Right? Wrong. I click, it sends me in a generic page. The link is mute. I attach a screenshot, you can see where the link points in the left-bottom corner. So now I know that one of my accounts has been hacked, I don't know WHICH account has been hacked and I'm not able to recover my account. Luckily it wasn't my main inbox!
5 -
!rant
Just posted some swift code to a server, in a few hours I should have all the prime numbers from 1 to a billion!4 -
I really want an AI that codes like me so I don't have to
tired of asking AI to brainstorm ideas but it keeps solving things stupid
please, get with the program. learn my style. it's better. stop shoving your style at me. neck yourself (I can say this right? it's funny and AI has no necks anyway! dark humor funny 🥺, but illegal merchandise 😔)
*coffee rage*
guess I'll have to use my own brain because it's literally less frustrating than reading its drivel that it keeps messing up despite me saying corrections a billion times. and this is one of the SMARTER AIs. eesh
guys can you make the tools better already. *taps foot*8 -
Devrant help me out.
(n/x)*(y/x)
You know x, and you know n, and you know z where ((y/x)*x)*((x/y)*x) = z
Solve for y.
If you do it, I'll consider giving you a billion dollars (of course the payment schedule will be an asymptote).31 -
so my poor old hp bro is starting to give up on me after 3 years . there are both battery and performance issues. I knew its death was near when i got its keyboard replaced i saw its battery's state 6 months ago. it was fat as me . Now it can't live without the wire for more than 30 mins.
apart from that am getting frustrated with everyday performance of my system. all i open is 50 tabs of chrome and android studio where bitch gradle generates a billion byte sized files at million places and cache folders . (and sometimes a terminal and/or files and/or vscode).
I have decent specs tho i5 7th generation/8gb ddr4 ram/ 2gb nvidea graphics/ 1tb hdd. but still my ubuntu gets stuck everytime i switch between chrome and AS . (maybe i have not made correct swap partitions or maybe there is an issue due to ubuntu/windows dualboot)
what should i do ? I guess i have to spend some shit on a new battery. But apart from that, iwanted to know about performance. how to get a beter performance?
I have heard of solutions like getting an sdd or increasing ram, but am broke af and might not afford a 1tb ssd (yes i do need that much amount of memory, my system is currently at 650 something gb) and about ram i have heard it doesn't offer much improvements. is that true?What should i do?6 -
If you had a billion dollars tomorrow, would you attempt to buy your current company, just so you could fire everyone, close all the offices and burnt it all to the ground?2
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https://github.com/netlify/...
This repository has been archived by the owner on Oct 10, 2022. It is now read-only.
Well fuck, whats the alternative? Absolutely NOTHING in the README that points to any new tool or documentation.
I swear to fucking god I write better documentation for MY FUCKING HOBBY PROJECTS THAN YOU BILLION DOLLAR VALUATION FUCKING DUMB FUCK STUPID FUCK COMPANIES THAT WASTE MY FUCKING TIME EVERY DAY AND HOUR AND MINUTE AND SECOND I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I swear I HATE all CA software employees, all that they stand for, and all that they do (apparently not much)
How the fuck can I list out all my users? Just fucking clowns.
God I'm fucking fuming. How irresponsible is it to archive a repository (thereby blocking new issues) and then NOT linking to any new tool or documentation!?!?!?!
I MEAN HELLLOOOOOOO AM I SPEAKING A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE HERE
just leave me to die5 -
Random guy : " hey want to hear a billion dollars business software idea?"
Look at the tags below👇
(I'm trying to looks more scam as much as possible, what do I missed)15 -
Fuck. I don't think any conventional encryption stands a chance against this monster...
https://nextbigfuture.com/2019/09/...3 -
Just saw a video based on the idea : what if the earth was a global country?
A provoking thought. If a 5000 people at google can control 3.5 billion people's data,
can we make a stable democratic government of a million(or more) politicians controlling the whole world's legislature?
Does this thought have a future? Since we are all connected by internet and simply moving towards a global village like environment, courtesy of softwares like fb or what's app, i think we would one day be ready to remove the boundaries .8 -
The Michelin star chef says to a fast-food line cook:
— In my restaurant, we don't use mayonnaise. Better even, I don't need mayonnaise, so as my fellow Michelin star chefs.
— You are idiot. We use mayonnaise and the burgers taste like crap without it.
— Perhaps it's because your recipes are trash and your products are made from waste materials?
— Look. I consulted with my fellow cooks from KFC, McDonald's, Burger King — all huge, billion-dollar companies, and they too are using mayonnaise. The whole world uses it. If you don't use mayonnaise, you can't cook tasty. End of discussion.
That's how I feel when someone defends unit tests. Matter of fact, I can't stand _both_ tests and mayonnaise. Coincidence?24 -
Our #bigtech repo is like 19 billion LOC so how am I the first one to try to do simpleThing with obviouslyRelatedThing?
My search foo yields nothing and I fear its not supported yet.
fml4 -
On https://reactjs.org/docs/... it is declared that useEffect runs after render is done.
However... if you put into useEffect an expensive calculation or operation e.g. "add +1 to x billion times", it will get stuck after updating the data, but before the re-render is done.
This leads to inconsistency between the DOM and the state which I believe is a foundational point of react. Moreover, the statement that "useEffect runs after render" is false.
See also: https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
The solution is to add a timeout to that expensive operation, e.g. 50 ms so the re-render can finish itself.
The integrity of my belief in react has received a shrapnel today. Argh :D Guys, how this can be? It seems that useEffect is not being run after re-render.13 -
I was talking to a few people at my school while playing with the Chrome dev shell, one of them told me to trace the path for Pornhub, after a bit I learned that the bottom IP was from Amazon Tech. After some more interesting searches I found out the Amazon placed a 3.4 billion bid to buy Pornhub.
I found this interesting to say the least.
(I don't know when this happened, I couldn't find a date)2 -
So Sonar (Java code style checker) is telling me to return immediately instead of first assigning the results to a variable:
ArrayList<string> strings = ...
{Some long running logic that populates the list}
String x = String.join(strings);
return x;
Declaring x is bad apparently... but I disagree...
Am I not understanding something here?
The upside out this is you can breakpoint it and well you meet want to add additional logic later while you find a bug while debugging...
I guess it would be noticeably slower but a few seconds... If I were to call it 1 billion times?14 -
Being in a situation at work where 50% of my time I can work on really exciting new Laravel projects where I got free hands on everything technical. Enjoying this very much. The other 50% is fixing existing broken wordpress sites with like 5 billion plugins. Want to shoot my fucking head off doing this shit, need to convince my boss to hire someone else just for the wp shit
-
MRW 📺 says I have ~1.4 Billion neighbor's & that is the cause for too much problems. And I got stressed out and my + & - logics fighting for winner.
I got stressed out.
news wins.
now I need stressball.1 -
TWENTY GIGABYTES!?!? I go to install Xamarin so I could work on a cross-platform project. My C drive is minimal in size and Windows doesn't let you install programs on the D drive. This is madd a billion times worse because Windows 10 treats secondary uard drives just like SD cards! Seriously? TWENTY for that framework?2
-
What are the odds Microsoft is playing behind the scenes with Wannacry attack to increase Windows 10 growth ?
It is not a secret that Satya Nadella is on a mission to meet 1 billion W10 devices by 2018.9 -
Did you know 2021 saw 44 unicorns startups? For people who don't know what unicorns are, unicorns are startups having billion dollar valuation. This made me wonder about startups with no revenue, how are they valuated? So researched a bit on it and penned down my learnings in this article.
https://readosapien.com/how-to-valu...7 -
Any suggestions for an open source/free version control/git kinda thingy?
I'm working on a project and wanna share what I have so far with another developer, so he can add his work too without sending a billion e-mails with attachments.
Basically a cloud for developer teams.5 -
Started learning salesforce 1 month back. Felt somewhat manageable.
Got the repository on Monday. Its a fucking spaghetti. A billion different conventions all around the place, no comments anywhere (except for 1% maybe 5 of the places where it needs to be), and for some reason the Checkpoint sync wont work with this project (although it works if I use a scratch or or trailhead playgrounds).
I am starting to think about unlearning this and try some new department of the company. Problem is, the employer is great at Salesforce himself, and he has high hopes from me.7 -
I hate when you've poured all sorts of blood/sweat/tears/money into an app for a client and worked out all of the bugs they've complained about, only to see them throw their hands in the air saying "I don't know how to sell a mobile app, but since it didn't sell a billion downloads on day one it's a failure". Made more frustrating given that the app is a huge success to the people we've shown it to and selling it is stupid simple for someone with an inkling of sales experience.1
-
Microsoft is acquiring Node package manager npm Inc., officials announced on March 16. (Neither company is sharing the purchase price.) Microsoft plans to integrate GitHub with npm with the intent of making the combined community even more appealing to JavaScript developers.
GitHub CEO Nat Friedman said " npm is a critical part of the JavaScript world. The work of the npm team over the last 10 years, and the contributions of hundreds of thousands of open source developers and maintainers, have made npm home to over 1.3 million packages with 75 billion downloads a month. Together, they've helped JavaScript become the largest developer ecosystem in the world. We at GitHub are honored to be part of the next chapter of npm's story and to help npm continue to scale to meet the needs of the fast-growing JavaScript community."
Source : Github Blog1 -
@dfox thought you might be interested in a glimpse of how fb optimize their news feed ;) https://developers.facebook.com/vid...
P.S. I'm not complaining that the current one is bad1 -
human rights activist — until the first billion
atheist — until the first BIOS update
heterosexual — until the first angel with wings
11 -
If one day you wake-up with a billion idea (tech/app) in mind.
What would be the stack for develop it?5 -
Did some math and to get into the three comma club a person most sell software for 60 bucks to 17 million people. Turns out COD has made a billion.
-
https://quora.com/q/bleedingedge/...
Why are they cancelling M82 and ditching all development on it? Why not just release M82 later or make M83 m82??? Wtf5 -
Transferring all the projects from SVN to GIT is so painful when there are a billion projects that are not working, not live or 'not needed'
-
Damn! Jeff Bezos is the world's richest man with now over 142 billion USD!!
I wonder if he feels some kind of existential crisis everyday.
Successful artists or actors become weird after becoming rich af.5 -
[dying] I came here with a simple dream...a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real seven billion ton robot monster here? Not I... Not I...
-- Bender Rodriguez --
(Futurama) -
this is home homie. i been waiting for this for 22 billpon years. well not billion, that would be way much. 22 ages, not that too. thats my total age.
Been like fuckin lots of time.
finally home!2 -
Sorta rant:
Tired of installing a billion random drivers and tools on windows to make something work. What is the best linux distro for programming on custom built PC that won't make me spend years tweaking to get full hardware support?4 -
Can anyone suggest me a way to store and perform CRUD operation on 10billion x 10 billion matrix. Is there any way possible?8
-
Whyyyy whyyy can a billion dollar company be the last regarding Kubernetes as a service!! EKS has such a fat ass, damn slow to bootstrap and a pain to manage the lifecycle, while all other clouds even the small ones have figured it out. Can't just get it.6
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Why does snapchat on android suck so badly?
Lemme get this out of me.
They admitted to focusing on the iOS variant more from now on. Why? Becuase it has a larger user base.
That means they will not give many fucks about the ONE BILLION ANDROID USERS.
But about the app itself...
With quite normal usage (let's say around 30 minutes opened in total, daily) snapchat uses more battery than my screen. What the fuck?
It is literally at the very top.
It might go up to 800mAh calculated drain. I don't know how they did it.
Anyways, it doesn't even work well.
It has a lot of lag, crahses, and makes my phone as hot as a cup of tea.
I suspect that's becuase it keeps using the camera. That is, keeps it on even when you are on a different screen. This is bullshit. I do sometimes chat with people on SC but I try to minimise it for this reason.
The UI itself is okayish but still lags beyond comprehension in comparison to other apps (wow, I love the android discord client, it has full functionality at low resource cost).
As far as I'm concerned it uses some sort of web technology mix. It does use chromium so I suspect HTML, CSS and JS is also present in the source code.
Also, let's make this a terrible mobile apps rant - feel free to contribute.4 -
hey folks, what are your thoughts on different kinds of insurances?
I recently went through a major accident that would have impacted our finances significantly , if i didn't had a corporate insurance. And this led to me researching a lot into different kinds of insurances : health, motor, home, travel, life, term life,... there are so many of these.
And they have a significant cost! they do cover benefits (claims) of even bigger amount but some1 with my salary and 12 different insurance will be shelving out approx 4 months of salary as premium every year. at the same time, our dear ol govt is taking 30% (4 months worth) as taxes.
and then we have a simpler generation that was my parents, who lived their 50+ years without any of these insurances and taxes. their income sources were very less to be taxed (or make considerable savings) , they will rush to govt hospitals for free treatment and prey to never get a major disease, and not leave the world without making their dependents independent.
so this is a weird philosophical question. should i live knowing am secured from stranger companies which may help at times ,while i try to manage my live with 40% of my salary?
or should i live like my parents(& billion others), trusting the govt and system to help me in times of need while i feed them my 30% salary an try to stay alive with the remaining 70%?4 -
I have a billion projects that i want to host online. Does anyone have a good tutorial for hosting python projects, flask based web-apps, and just simple websites using aws or some other hosting service?2
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Meta Platforms has launched Llama 3, their newest large language model (LLM), alongside a brand-new stand-alone AI chatbot. Llama 3 comprises two versions, one with 8 billion and the other with 70 billion parameters. Furthermore, Meta is currently developing an even more advanced 400 billion parameter model, though its release date remains unannounced.
Ragavan Srinivasan, Meta’s VP of Product, expressed enthusiasm about the model’s capabilities in a recent interview, stating, “From a performance perspective, it is really off the charts in terms of benchmarking capabilities.” He specifically referred to the ongoing development of the 400 billion parameter version.
https://freeaiall.com/ai-news/...
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Disclaimer: I love open source and I adore the owasp for what they do.
BUT owasp zap has to be the most overly complicated, badly documented tool in existence. As long as one stays within its most basic functions everything is fine, setting it up as a proxy and even issuing a root cert for our test devices worked wonderfully simple.
Then I made the mistake to try to actually do anything with the data we pulled and had to dive into the scripting console.
The documentation basically consists only of "This thing exists", it provides a msg object with no information what it contains or how it's structured, has no code completion and, here comes the kicker, if the script is run and has an error it gets flagged and can't be reenabled after the error is fixed. So I'm currently at forwarder48.groovy trying to simply store the request on a database for possible diagnostics.
So right now I already know that I'll spend most of my vacation next week trying to decipher the source, document it, fix that damn "flagged as error" bullshit and jump through a billion hoops trying to get a pull request through.2
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