HR Project update meeting.
Duration: 1h
Content:
1) recap of previous meeting
2) overview of what we will discuss in next meeting.

Why would you even do this? People don't read these anyways...

Definition of good UX :P
Kappa...

'2' + 2 => '22'
'2' - 2 => 0

Js devs will understand

I have no words.

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

When someone is reviewing your code

Apparently this is still a thing....

The guy in front of me is coding in C And is using BING

Like wtf?!

Typical JS
null > 0 //false
null == 0 //false
null >= 0 //true

Wtf?

When I joined my team in august as a junior/trainee, we were 6 developers.

Now we are 4 left in the team.

By the end of june, we are 1.. I mean its me, myself and I.

Wtf did I do!? My code isnt that spaghetti. I think...

But its np, just me with a 20 years old database, 7 legacy systems and a new one planned.

Atleast my boss believes in me keeping this shit floating.

The designer of this keyboard should be shot on sight! A set of keys left of ctrl, shift, tab...except esc of course. Pure evil! I'm changing the volume, every time that I have to use shift... :/

"This is incredibly unprofessional. You need to give at least 2 weeks notice like any other company that you work for" - Hiring manager to me after I said I couldn't come in today to the office.

Background for y'all:
1. I did a 2-day interview process and I never received news from HR that I got hired
2. I followed up today with HR and only then did they tell me in WhatsApp "Oh well you're hired"
3. HR didn't go into details about the contract, I was the one who proactively asked about it and HR just said "Oh I will send you your contract tomorrow and all the details."
4. Ergo, no contract has been signed TODAY and I have not gone through it and above all, I haven't accepted the offer yet

I gave the company a notice 30 minutes after thinking this through and said I won't come in today and made up a story (that I accepted another offer but really come on that's already a red flag - asking somebody to come in without a signed contract hey I'm not working for free)

Hiring manager said the above plus "I understand there's no contract yet but we're short on the team now so you should be on the train to come here"

No. I'm not obliged to do a 2 weeks notice when I do not have any contract binding me to this. You should appreciate I gave a notice instead of not showing up. Please tell me how professional your company is when internally your hiring team doesn't communicate with the hiring manager and you don't know the hiring laws of the country???

Eh fuck it, it's a 1 hr 41 minutes commute anyway if I ever did accept their offer.

Actual formatting in my high school textbook. (also fstream.h). And the code my teacher writes isn't much better.

Where I work, in our database, we use 3 to indicate true and 7 to indicate false and 0 is true but null is false

In another table, we use 'P' to indicate true and 'I' to indicate false and 'Y' is also false and null is false

And the most used table, we also use 'Y' to indicate yes and 'N' to indicate no, but null is also Yes.

We also store integers as varchar in a live table, but stays an integer in all the other tables. I hope I'm not there when the number of digits exceeds the varchar limit.

These are all live and used in production all created by my boss, the head of IT.

Whenever I have to work on others' code

Happens all too often

I pretty much just copied code from Google for a good 2 years, following tutorials on Java, until I actually got a basic understanding of wtf I was doing. I could understand the syntax, loops, and conditional statements well, but for some reason I didn't quite understand the concept of an object until I took a class on Java development during my high school career, where it finally 'clicked'.

Applying to internships today and I see this

“
Job type: Internship

Requirements:
- Atleast 2 years of professional experience as a software engineer
- ...
“

Wtf is this????

Why does an intern need 2 years of professional experience?

Isn’t an intern supposed to be an entry level job?

Am I wrong in thinking this is crazy?

But seriously, why would anyone do this?

What the-

Why do you have so many windows open?!

But why?
btw Running on an i5-4590...

Interesting languages...

Recruiter: I have an open position for lead DevSecOps role.

Me: Tell me more

Recruiter: It’s an AI company , where the AI is making clinical medical decisions. It’s really cool. They need somebody to help them pass government audits and you’d be solely responsible for the systems security, AWS accounts, and also all of DevOps, which they’ve never heard of before but I told them they needed and they though it was cool.

Also, they use AWS but not sure what services inside AWS, they think it’s AWS storage and AWS servers or something like that .

Me: That’s a big hell no. 👎 Got any other positions though ?

Dafuq... What is 98,1%?? Am I on drugs ?

Me: deployment exploded, the database has to be restored.
C: yeah, the latest backup we have is is from Q1 2016
Me: wat? We have almost weekly changes of the database layout, let alone the content.
C: yeah, you have to execute somewhat 60 sql files ... Have fun
* Sitting in a corner and staring apathecally at the wall*

Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"

What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?

Let’s continue with the last rant.

Sometimes, when I wrote notes to myself that are extremely, extremely secret but I don’t plan to use it for more than a day, I use alef-bet.

I have to admmit I’m a disaster with sofit letters and vowels, and that’s why I don’t make secret and long lasting notes in this alphabet (that actually is not even an alphabet, it’s an abyad).

Well, I guess I have too much deadtime 😂

What I tried to write is “Echar una llamada a las 10:30” (Make a call at 10:30). I hope I didn’t write some stupid stuff instead XD

I’m not jew, but I find this writing interesting 🤔 the most hard way to write I’ve ever tried

For those of you who read my rant about my teacher for my Android course. Here's another goodwan.

If people and companies I email could stop ghosting me, that'd be greeeeeeeeeaaaaaat.

!rant

More like a genersl question I guess. But how do you guys react to writing software that might make someone else get laid off? At work I developed an application that manages a lot of the inventories and yard management that had to be done by hand. While I was developing it, the manager that was giving me the details mentioned (jokingly) many times that if the software works as it was expected that they will not require certain people anymore. I shrugged it off as a joke since I could not imagine it being serious. Turns out, it was serious and some talks about company restructuring have taken place since I released the app into our servers. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? If someone loses their job because of something like this, how would someone go about NOT feeling guilty af?

I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....

I like webpack, but maybe not anymore after today.

Was working on my side project with already configured webpack and after some time I realised somethong is wrong with my styles, but it was not before.

Then I realised, that Chrome won't load CSS at all. I checked my source, but it seems to be perfectly fine. No errors while building. CSS is even included in the bundle generated...WHAT THE FUCK?

Picked up an older project which is in prod for 2 years now. I got a DB error related to a null in an array.
Proceed to check the front end(angular 1.5). Ended up in a 3000 lines file😫
What's worse the array was processed by multiple functions including 'filter' and 'filter2'. Naming conventions ftw😂 I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂

My companies policy , you do your work better and you will do the work of everything other fucker who is not able to deliver in time .

😠😠

So I am managing some legacy code and I found quite the gem last week.
The code went something like this :
IF(methodA()&&methodB())

However, methodB returned ! methodA...

Sure with this you will get a JavaScript job

protected static new readonly

// just no

Wtf. It really looks he's naked behind the banner

This supposed to be a rant but I have no words to describe in how big fucking mess I am right now while looking for a new workplace...
It’s most unorganized experience that I am part of...
It’s worse then looking for lost key using bare hands in a shit hole....

With last one at least you know what to expect and you have some chances to make some decisions. The hiring otherwise it’s like lottery...

There are no words to describe it.
Fuck...

Let everyone looking for a job right now have my condolences...

FUUUUUUUUCK!!! Even the compiler has given up on this codebase! And it's still 2PM..............ON A MOTHERFUCKING MONDAY

whoever made this should be ashame!

Was offered a Mid QA position in my home country and just for shit and giggles applied to a QA Lead for another one (remote) and they offered me the QA Lead one as well. And now I don’t really know how the fuck you are supposed to measure seniority for this kind of jobs.

U've seen one dev creating Java-Classes like 'GetLevel' which contain only one method that is called 'getLevel'. And it wasn't even a static method.

Working on developing NLP and ML project.... But what does this even mean?!?!

What the fuck?!!!

I like Manjaro for it's stability. But I'm getting sick of dumbass shit like this.

Everytime I try to eject a drive. These errors pop up. Doesn't matter what is on the device.

I can't figure out what the problem is

HOLY FUCK! Why is JS world so fucking confusing? I haven't even started learning it and its already giving me a headache. I feel like there are a billion different things i have to learn that aren't just "vanilla js". All i want to do is learn some web dev, take on freelance work, become a digital nomad. Im a simple C++ and ios/android developer things are so straight forward. JS seems like a clusterfuck of just stuff 😧 Id like to say this isnt a my language is > than yours rant. This is a "like what the fuck" rant. My brain was like Html, Css, JS cool thats all i have to learn... boy was i wrong. Can someone give me a word of wisdom as i go down this apparent rabbit hole?

University exam of ASP.Net today.
And I've been showing love to html-css the whole semester. 😕😬

Office manager/HR:

• this is fucked up!
• I fucking hate this shit of a job
• I took a pay cut to get this job MF
• come near me and I'll cut you #moodtoday

Anyone else have similar experience with HR?

This code a (much more senior) co-worker wanted me to review...

Found this in a book and i can tell you that wtfs/min is the most effective code quality measurement technique programmers have known to this day! xD
(Book: Clean code Robert C.Martin)

I can never look the same at web sites again. It's either "oo that's cool how they do that" or "wtf who came up with this shit"

My current task involves processing the commoncrawl web archive, and it's like a box of junk you buy at a flea market. You find so much useless stuff, broken stuff, stuff that makes you question people...

My latest find makes me wonder what lies out there if what I found was in plain sight. I found tens of thousands of websites that look like someone used markov chains to generate pron ads. Those websites exist in 10+ languages, use the same url-scheme, read like a dyslexic camgirl reading alphabet soup and are hosted on the same three ip-adresses. There is no javascript involved and some pages link to a variety of twitter accounts.

I queried a few commoncrawl files and amassed 4GB of this spam. Every time I look at it it gets weirder. There is an italian article about malware in there too.

Here's a text sample:
"Not from her bedroom, she her stream view and meet new experience. In hd india, because swimsuit still laws exist no interaction or frigthened and."

!dev

So here I am at the chiropractor waiting and this family of 5 come in. One of the kids is barefoot and wearing a leotard, and the others just run around causing mayhem as children often do (I'm a father of 3 so I get it). None of that bothers me.

What bothers me is that they brought their puppy (,on a leash) as and a small bowl with food and water.

Wtf, this isnt a vet!

Cute dog though

My final exams are going on and I'm cramming textbooks all day. It's currently midnight and I still have another 50 pages of reading to do. Plus revise everything before the exam tomorrow morning. I'm exhausted! And this is going to continue through Christmas and New Years Day! What the fuck is my University thinking!?
Anyway, I have to go back to finishing this chapter. Just came here to let off some steam. Thanks devRant for seeing me through this.

Why would you post your code on GitHub and charge to use it. I'm not using your servers your not providing me any service I need but you still expect me to pay for open source code you posted yourself. What is going through your mind. To come up with that business plan

Help. 😲

I finally finished a website of a client where I‘m working on since 2012!!! WTF! I never hat such a client before. Sometimes I haven‘t heard anything from them 4 months then they called me, I changed some pictures a did a little bit of styling and then it took months again to get a feedback! To be honest, now 5 years later they need a redesign of their „new“ website.

Class cleanBullshit() {
Function invokeAction(attr) {
If(attr==='sarahah' ) friend.remove();
}
}

Class private mylife() {
var per = new cleanBullshit();
per.invokeAction('sarahah');
}

So my desktop suddenly stops working in the middle of a Skype call. I open up the cabinet and the processor fan wire has been plugged out with subtlety. No visible damage of short circuits. What sorcery is this?

Today a colleague of mine managed to run cmd as admin without credentials. He does not have admin privileges so normally he can't do that.
He refuses to tell us how he did it.
Any idea how to do this in windows 10?

Six hour of intensive training with Python. Every hour there is something so "WHAT THE F*** COME FROM THAT MAGNIFICENT S**T!?" in my head....