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I believe by the time Elon Musk sets up a colony on Mars, npm will be done installing those fucking dependencies.10
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Took an interview today.
Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.
Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.
At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.15 -
In my previous company, I used to work for a client company which had a terrible website. It was about financial data and people would have to wait too long before the page loaded because there was a freaking 1.2 megs of minified, compressed JS file that needed to load before you could do anything.
Everyone knew that was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to touch spaghetti code and mess up something they didn't know.
I wanted to however take a shot at it. So an architect from client side and I discussed how we were gonna go about it and how we were gonna find the stuff that needed to load on page load and stuff that could be loaded later.
So we plan for it. We broke everything down from a globals polluting JS, found out the variables and functions that needed to run during first load by literally putting a console statement for each function and finally came up with two bundles.
The primary bundle was 120kb and would during first load and then every module would call it's own secondary bundle when the user interacted with it.
In the process, we removed half a meg of JS and the site became blazing fast.
I did it with a team of two members who, my manager thought were useless, learned a ton of stuff, setup proper process for the transition.
When the client didn't appreciate the amount of brain and effort we had put into it, these two members came forward to tell the client to acknowledge my effort and attributed the success of it to me.
I was totally moved. There was so much respect that I didnt care what anybody else thought. I was just so happy to work with those two humans.
When i left the company, i gifted them stuff they always talked about or wanted. :) Feels good.1 -
So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.2 -
Not code related, but.....
When you open a pron site and see this
Guess I should save the planet instead of jerking off
10 -
Hey PMs!
Fuck you!
Estimates are NOT... I repeat..they are NOT the FUCKING DEADLINES.
If you are asking for an estimate then remember, in your absolutely fucking small fucknugget brain, that it can FUCKING CHANGE!
The last thing you wanna do is grill the dev by asking them to explain in details why the change instead of trusting them. Specially when you don't understand a thing of the technology.
- Dev on whom you are shitting you asshole!18 -
Sometimes when I code, I plug in my earphones and listen to music, focused, in zone.
* I let everyone think that.
** I actually don't listen to anything.
*** Keeps the buggers away!10 -
It bothers me that IntelliJ IDEs and Documents on Google Drive don't require Ctrl + S to be pressed to save a file.
That's like my birthright taken away from me!8 -
Keep your arrogance, your fucking stupid logic and religious belief about everthing you say is right aside.
when somebody says there is a better way to solve a problem.. you can do two things. you either listen to them, validate the idea and accept or reject based on discussion or you just be an arrogant fucking prick and stick to your fucking reasoning, about your "right" way.
Don't do the latter. Wont help you become better neither at work nor in life.
FUCK YOU.
- a teammate7 -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
why the fuck people name variables endig with numbers? why? how the hell do you even figure out what's what?
checkStatus1
checkStatus2
checkStatusMyAss10 -
me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......
*goes on to explain cool stuff*
her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?
me : I AM DONE
8 -
The startup life culture is probably killing a lot of talent and taking away peace of mind.
Everything is needed
- too fast
- to work well
Forcing people to compromise on personal life and health.
It also takes away the interest to work on something as an interesting problem and makes it feel like "just another job to get finished".5 -
In the last project i worked in, the product owner wouldn't treat people as people but as resources.
The problem with that is you just look at people and their work in terms of a checklist and remain blind about real humans face.
She wouldn't understand the challenges of building something with an absolutely new stack which people needed to learn from scratch and put pieces together. She wouldn't be supportive of people trying out things and fail.
One fine day I told her that I was spending too much time on meetings and i should be excluding that time from available sprint timings.. she made me open my calendar in a screenshare session with all team members. Made me go through go through every meeting invite i had on calender and ordered which ones should i be attending from then and which ones i wont. That was insulting. It broke the trust.
I decided to not work with the project. Stopped putting my heart and soul into it and eventually got out of it in a month time.
Don't put your team into a position like this ever. You have to trust them with the problems they face and try to find a solution. Scrutinizing and micro management will always kill the team.1 -
I will be working from home tomorrow.
*Today*
I am at office because fuck me! I forgot my laptop charger here. -
Why do so many companies think that frontend work can be stuffed at the end of the product development right before a release is expected.
And to top it off, expect all things to be working, smooth, animating, responsive, crisp, fast with 100 fucking lighthouse score.
🖕 To everyone who thinks frontend work is meh!, Not real programming and similar. Fuck you!7 -
For fuck sake Facebook! do position:fixed for your goddam toolbar on mobile site because you have that fucking infinite scroll!3
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That feeling when a coworker screws up totally. doesn't accept it as their fault.
You look at the code and see so much of redundancy and bad practice galore.
You look at it for a while and think you can rewrite it from scratch. But you finally end up saying "fuck this" and feel hopeless because there is not enough time.
Hate that feeling. Hate it. Depresses.2 -
Scientists have found that If you just kill the Chrome process, it can give you enough charge to fully charge your Mobile Phone.2
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Friend : hey! I wanna buy a laptop.. range is about entry level nothing hi fi! But it should work for 3-4 years.
Me : sure.. give me a few hours..i'll get back.
*Looks all around foe the best thing in that price range.
*Sends a list of laptops ranked based on value for money.
Friend : bought it! Yay! 😎😎😎
*Buys the shittiest laptop they could find at that price range with an absolute old age processor.
Why the fuck did you even ask me at the first place? Fucked couple of hours for me.6 -
I asked one of my engineering classmate which processor they had in their laptop.
Ans : 3GB.
I dont know whether they dont know a shit about computers or they are too bad at english.10 -
#LifeRightNow
- need to find a new place and roommates to live with
- my gf's father doesn't want us to marry.
- my joint family wants to get separated.
- my boss wants me to be at our primary office ( i work remotely ) asap irrespective of anything since it is our biggest production yet.
- i am about the least productive i can be from last couple of weeks.
- going through a serious allergic condition.
#FuckMyLife8 -
well a 🖕🏼 to everybody who thinks CSS isn't really "coding". Stop shaming CSS and people who love it because the moment you would be asked a simple alignment problem, you'll shit your pants.
No! not because it's a hard thing to do in CSS(there are tons of ways to do it.) but because you are ignorant and have prejudice.
🖕🏼 you again!12 -
- UI Developer Interview
- 5+ years of revelant experience.
- Says pretty good at CSS
- Have not heard of box model.
FUCK INTERVIEWS. FUCK EXPERIENCE. FUCK EVERYTHING.
2 -
Me - 1+1 is 2
Client : Did you say 1+1 is 2
Because even i thought 1+1 is 2 and i think we should go ahead with 1+1 2 because that seems like a good thing to me.
***"1+1 is 2" can be replaced by some long tech discussion
#my brain hurts3 -
to whomever it may concern...
if i wanted to do code review keeping in mind how asshole you have been and made it my personal vendetta, i would not review it at all.
i would let you and your shitty code rot in hell. -
Many of them. Can't decide which one is the biggest.
- when the asshole in front of me picks up a call and is loud as hell. Wanna kick his nuts.
- Chats. Hangouts. Whatsapp. Just name it.
- retards who don't know how to google something or even worse..what to google and come straight to me to get a solution.
- My own fucking head at times. You start talking about space tech and i'll have to jump into it. And i end up wasting half an hour.1 -
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”2
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Best part of being a dev is that you get to be part of an amazing community like devRant.
Also the kind of jokes and stories devs get to share and laugh about is beyond anything. 😍 -
why the fuck no client underdtands that a native select input cant be styled to show fairies and angels. and the same goes with many other browser elements.1
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Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.8 -
!rant
New to linux
So I deleted all of my games, pron, and installers just to free up some space for testing dual boot in my laptop.
I will study all the basic commands in terminal and make use of my time to coding.7 -
Been using Macbook Pro for 6 months now for development work. Except for the retina display and the battery, I don't like a shit. I would love to go back to ubuntu and a normal keyboard layout.4
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What do people feel about remote work?
I got into my current work about 8 months and we all were remote working.
In 8 months, we met in person several times and worked together at one place for a week or two.
We have never overcome the feeling of a disconnect when we work remotely. There's less focus and less clarity on things to do.
Is this common? How do people be focused and productive in remote work?
Also how do people communicate effectively?2 -
I get a chill or an eerie feeling when there are more programs open than needed and I go ahead and kill them.
Is it just me or happens to others too?2 -
Motherfuck oh clients! My goodness their requirements.
They want a tiny part of an app load inside an iframe in a different app and have the data communicate both ways and the ui should look seamless and mobile responsive too.
What the actual fuck? iframe in 2016 ? Seriously?5 -
A game lover and anticipator of No Man's Sky. It's the shittiest, most boring, most repetative game i ever played. the graphics sucks. the game assets suck...the game sucks. The apparent lack of variety and stuff you can do will piss you off. This is thr game which could have been one od the best but turned out to be worst.3
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Does anyone else feel like their brains aren't working, like they cant focus on anything and this has been going on for more than a week now?
I know there are things to do. I have gone through huge pain created github issues for those things but my brain just seems to reject the idea that it can solve those issues. Just feels like playing a game or just killing time would be best!
Needless to say I hate it.
Happens/happening with others?2 -
LORD AM I PRON TO THESE KIND OF PEOPLE AS A DEV!!!?
[09:21, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Bro
[10:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Wasap
[10:25, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Im good fam hwu
[10:37, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Um good bro how is it?
[10:43, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: All good.. i need help fam... i want to creat application form but dnt knw how to fo th out look appearance
[10:48, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ummm haven't used out look
[10:51, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nooo I mean appearance of the app. .. not outlook windows no
[10:55, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 🤔
Wat you up to
Want to create a form using outlook or you want to create an application? ??
[GUY SENDS VOICE NOTE]
[11:21, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Is it web app or desktop app
[11:22, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: I thnk its wise to hv it a web app
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ok so is this a thing chitone market or?
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And outline all it's functionality
[11:25, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And the price😋🤑
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Na. Its just fr records n logs ... for reference
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: 👀U want to thug me now
[11:27, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nigaaa👀wait
[11:42, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 😂 its yo idea
I can't make something I have no idear what information it should take in
What format to generate soft copy
Etc5 -
jr.: which os may I used for our syllabus?
me: look every OS has it's own pron and cons .
jr : ohh. still tell me.
me: but linux is superior among them. use ubuntu.4 -
I worked hard to learn it so I can impress and then ended up loving way too much that it became my career.
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My current task involves processing the commoncrawl web archive, and it's like a box of junk you buy at a flea market. You find so much useless stuff, broken stuff, stuff that makes you question people...
My latest find makes me wonder what lies out there if what I found was in plain sight. I found tens of thousands of websites that look like someone used markov chains to generate pron ads. Those websites exist in 10+ languages, use the same url-scheme, read like a dyslexic camgirl reading alphabet soup and are hosted on the same three ip-adresses. There is no javascript involved and some pages link to a variety of twitter accounts.
I queried a few commoncrawl files and amassed 4GB of this spam. Every time I look at it it gets weirder. There is an italian article about malware in there too.
Here's a text sample:
"Not from her bedroom, she her stream view and meet new experience. In hd india, because swimsuit still laws exist no interaction or frigthened and."1 -
I know it's a bit late from the official launch of iOS 11, but finally I get to have my hands on this. So, let's jump in and explore what's new.
11 -
so what is worse than monday morning?
It's finding the right angle for your macbook pro screen because the office changed the fucking lights and they reflect more than ever.
AND THEY ARE BRIGHT AS HELL. MY EYES BURN!3 -
so i took a deep dive into my work at the previous company, the amount of effort i put in and the amout of new things i learned. At that time I was pissed every moment that I had to work there and it was such a pathetic place..but now I feel i created amazing things there. brought a smile today. Not a rant.. but something my fellow devs might have felt.
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every fucking time when the product owners start talking absolute shit that you have no idea and you would never need to know or listen to.
ITS A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE IT OFFLINE. -
this happens when i am learning something new and however much i try, i cannot solve a problem, i go home and cook. Clean the kitchen in best possible way. Eat with peace and voila.. things start making sense. :)
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1. Only thing where correct logic doesn't backfire at you.
2. It is a wonderful thing where you get the satisfaction of solving something, organizing things and making things look beautiful all at once.
3. Its the only thing I know how to do to make money :p
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