😥😥😥😥

Today my oldest son is 8 years old and with pizza and cake we discussed how to hack his friends tablet, star Wars vs star trek and how to hijack wifi networks when friends parents won't give password.
And he told me how to evade detection and bypass the schools filters that he figured out alone.
I feel so damn proud.

I dont know origin anymore found it in a old backup :D

Found this posted on the wall at a courthouse here in Los Angeles. 😂

Old fart joke received from another old fart :) simply had to share as I am still laughing 😂

Just realized I'm using an almost decade old Acer aspire laptop for programming. And its still useful because Linux.

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

I thought I was a hardcore geek until I came on here.

Super chill enviroment tho

Programmers are some of the nicest people you will meet.

Except the 12 year old hackers.

What is the fascination people-- especially old people --have with desktop icons?

Got laid off my by old employer back in 2019 because they have their priorities completely wrong.
Got a mail today whether I could fix something for them (ofc, they wanted me to do it essentially for free).
One of the websites I built for a customer back when I still worked there had a massive bug (that I was aware off and patched in later versions of the library causing it).
They never updated it so, I told them "just update the library".

Apparently, the idiot that was in charge of maintaining said site after I left didn't know how to and completely broke everything.
The hilarious part: While I setup everything using stuff like Docker and Git to make rollbacks easy...
That idiot went back to FTP and manually upgrading the databases through PhpMyAdmin :^)
He nuked the entire site.
Database? Gone.
Codebase? Borked (installed a version with a lot of breaking changes without properly reading the migration guide).
And knowing that shit company, they don't have any backups either.

They said "I wasn't needed because we have other good devs" when they laid me off.
Uhu, I can eh... see those good devs doing their job :^)

Am I alone? 😅😂😂

Found my old Bitcoin Wallet on an old hard drive from 2011.

0.005 BC.

FML

My boss pissed me off so much yesterday I totally ditched work today. I had some spiced rum for breakfast (and dinner) and spent the day playing minecraft and browsing Black Friday specials.

I did a little bit of work that (oversimplified) involved paying a Clover contractor for doing basically nothing. Totes cool with that as the guy is really nice and a decent dev. Annoyingly, though, he started hitting on me and asked me out on a date at the end of the call. He's like 65 and has a daughter (grand daughter?) my age, so that's like totally creepy. Ugh.

Getting hit on by random old men is still better than talking to Mr. Asshole the Sales Fetishizer, though.

Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?

Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?

Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?

Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications

Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...

Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.

Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"

Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?

Mam: No its on my laptop at home.

Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.

Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?

Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?

Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.

Me: of course

Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?

Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.

Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?

Me: ... can't do that either.

Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?

Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.

Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!

Me: no

Mam: was that so hard?

Me: ... yep

You always need to remind yourself that where you began :)

currently working on dusty project

When you find 7 years old website made while you were 14 yo.

Old times.

I hate trying to support old browsers.
If we keep supporting old sh*t, people will never stop using it.

Chuckles like a kiddo... 🤣
And it's only Monday... 🤔
I am too old for this... 😩🤦‍♂️

My old professor: Your keyboard looks like those ones in old 60s.

Me: WAT?

And sometimes are afraid!!

Found this on my old desktop ... Aww!

When I was 10 years old, all kids at my school got access to school emails. The email address book contained everything in my city, like fire department, all pupils of all schools etc. So I decided to "test" the system by sending out a mass email to everyone in the address book (about 3k) with the question "Hi, how are you?".

The sys admins apparently didn't think very far as I got some responses saying like "You have crashed a server in the capital city" and "I have contacted your local IT admin".

So I went to the IT admin and told him the situation. His face turned red of anger and I remember him almost screaming at me.

Who the fuck doesn't set up protection for this and gives out access to 10 year olds? This was 15 years ago, I really hope sys admins are smarter today!

Old but gold!

Multiple friens asked if I could help someone with her "laptop".

Me: so I hear that you have problems with your laptop?
She: oh yea let me get my laptop.
A minute later she comes back with an iPad mini.
She: I cant get this app to work!

How can they all call that a laptop! *facepalm*

I have this little hobby project going on for a while now, and I thought it's worth sharing. Now at first blush this might seem like just another screenshot with neofetch.. but this thing has quite the story to tell. This laptop is no less than 17 years old.

So, a Compaq nx7010, a business laptop from 2004. It has had plenty of software and hardware mods alike. Let's start with the software.

It's running run-off-the-mill Debian 9, with a custom kernel. The reason why it's running that version of Debian is because of bugs in the network driver (ipw2200) in Debian 10, causing it to disconnect after a day or so. Less of an issue in Debian 9, and seemingly fixed by upgrading the kernel to a custom one. And the kernel is actually one of the things where you can save heaps of space when you do it yourself. The kernel package itself is 8.4MB for this one. The headers are 7.4MB. The stock kernels on the other hand (4.19 at downstream revisions 9, 10 and 13) took up a whole GB of space combined. That is how much I've been able to remove, even from headless systems. The stock kernels are incredibly bloated for what they are.

Other than that, most of the data storage is done through NFS over WiFi, which is actually faster than what is inside this laptop (a CF card which I will get to later).

Now let's talk hardware. And at age 17, you can imagine that it has seen quite a bit of maintenance there. The easiest mod is probably the flash mod. These old laptops use IDE for storage rather than SATA. Now the nice thing about IDE is that it actually lives on to this very day, in CF cards. The pinout is exactly the same. So you can use passive IDE-CF adapters and plug in a CF card. Easy!

The next thing I want to talk about is the battery. And um.. why that one is a bad idea to mod. Finding replacements for such old hardware.. good luck with that. So your other option is something called recelling, where you disassemble the battery and, well, replace the cells. The problem is that those battery packs are built like tanks and the disassembly will likely result in a broken battery housing (which you'll still need). Also the controllers inside those battery packs are either too smart or too stupid to play nicely with new cells. On that laptop at least, the new cells still had a perceived capacity of the old ones, while obviously the voltage on the cells themselves didn't change at all. The laptop thought the batteries were done for, despite still being chock full of juice. Then I tried to recalibrate them in the BIOS and fried the battery controller. Do not try to recell the battery, unless you have a spare already. The controllers and battery housings are complete and utter dogshit.

Next up is the display backlight. Originally this laptop used to use a CCFL backlight, which is a tiny tube that is driven at around 2000 volts. To its controller go either 7, 6, 4 or 3 wires, which are all related and I will get to. Signs of it dying are redshift, and eventually it going out until you close the lid and open it up again. The reason for it is that the voltage required to keep that CCFL "excited" rises over time, beyond what the controller can do.

So, 7-pin configuration is 2x VCC (12V), 2x enable (on or off), 1x adjust (analog brightness), and 2x ground. 6-pin gets rid of 1 enable line. Those are the configurations you'll find in CCFL. Then came LED lighting which required much less power to run. So the 4-pin configuration gets rid of a VCC and a ground line. And finally you have the 3-pin configuration which gets rid of the adjust line, and you can just short it to the enable line.

There are some other mods but I'm running out of characters. Why am I telling you all this? The reason is that this laptop doesn't feel any different to use than the ThinkPad x220 and IdeaPad Y700 I have on my desk (with 6c12t, 32G of RAM, ~1TB of SSDs and 2TB HDDs). A hefty setup compared to a very dated one, yet they feel the same. It can do web browsing, I can chat on Telegram with it, and I can do programming on it. So, if you're looking for a hobby project, maybe some kind of restrictions on your hardware to spark that creativity that makes code better, I can highly recommend it. I think I'm almost done with this project, and it was heaps of fun :D

This is how you test your website in “old browsers”

Because my backup system is this old...

All these people talking about learning to code at school makes me feel old. There wasn't even an option to learn programming when I was at school. Had to teach myself!

Half life 2 runs smoothly in a 12 year old PC with Nvidia 8500, 1 GB RAM, and a dual core.
A FPS with wavy water reflection, body physics and huge designed maps which is updates every fucking frame.

Today I can't run smoothly an IDE with 8 GB of RAM and 4 cores.
A program which only reacts to events stutters if I write at more than 3 letters per sec.

I wanna go back. Can we go back? Lets keep the new hardware and go back with the software pleeeease.

Found an old monitor in our garage and decided to hook it up to my laptop. Yes, I am learning how to use Linux :D

I feel old when I say that my first website was on Geocities.

My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time

People and social media are like ants and old food.

I fucking hate ants and I hate old food.

My hard drive is dying.

I thought to myself:

"It's alright. I have 5 years warranty. I'll change it"

Then I realized it has been almost 6 years since I've bought the hard drive.

I'm becoming old :(

Finally I'm taking gaming out of life. I've realized it's not possible to continue both of them.

In other words, I'm becoming old

To the junior dev in my office:

I may be old, but my generation fought wars so you could have your precious emojis. I mean, they were browser wars, but many lives were lost and families destroyed.

So my in-laws got a new computer 😑
Yup you know where this is going. Ok so after I transferred all of their data set them all up etc.
They wanted to use "word" and could I set it up for free for them. I said no Microsoft office is not free you lost your license and disk and your old computer is trashed so the better choice would be Google services . So I explained the value of using Google drive, docs,sheets etc.. today and told them how much better it is everything would be on their Google drive so if I got hit by a bus they could get a new computer again and still have access to their data etc... So they said great and so I did.

Two weeks later... Can you set up word for us on our computer. Me annoyed at this point " sure no problem"

I made a shortcut on their desktop to Google docs. Them: oh boy this is great see John all you have to do is click on google docs to go to word! Thanks so much!

🤫🤓

Found a bunch of these in my dad's old drawers. It's a mini floppy disk of 2 MB (i guess).

Me, when read old code:
if z == true
return true
else
return false
Yeah, why not stupid fucker.

My vision has gotten so messed up, my reading glasses are now my distance glasses, and I need to wear them constantly until I get my bifocals.

It's only going to get worse with age in my chosen career... :(

Getting told that technology is bullshit and that humans have forgotten how to interact with each other (meaning being social) by people from the same age bracket that throw a fit because they can't use said technology is both hilarious and infuriating.

Seriously, aren't these old farts more concerned with things such as starbucks not putting "merry Christmas" on their fucking red cups? Am I supposed to take their shit seriously? No the fuck I am not, and neither should you.

If your old ass can't work how your fucking smartphone works, or have a haaaaard time trying to select Netflix from your smart tv app selection then the problem is not my generation. Its your dumbass for not keeping up.

Its fine if you don't want to use technology, fuck if I care. But you ain't winning this shit because of your preferences regarding technology.

Also, telling me that I am wrong for wearing my headphones at the gym to shut people off. Wtf dude, not everyone wants to fucking talk to others all the time, specially during gym time. I am there to work out and get sexy af, not to ask you how your fucking day went, I don't know u, i don't want to know you, you already showed me how fucking close minded and uninteresting you can be, why the fuck should I give that shit a chance?

Fuck outta here with that shit. He went on to tell me that software is made by people with 0 social skills. Booooooy I would have your granddaughter(she is my age) any day of the fucking week and you can tell me if we lack "social skills"

Foh

Old story, and yeah, it's all true, I shit you not!

So here I am at about age 11 (more or less). At the time, I had an almost brand new 333MHz beast, with 8 MB RAM, 2 (!!!) MB video card and (I think) about 300 MB of storage (yeah, I'm old :)) ).

Connected to this monster was sitting a 14" CRT monitor, mechanical keyboard and a 2 button, ball "powered" mouse.

There was no optical tracking tech at the time.

One evening, I notice my mouse starts lagging. Test it to see if Win95 is stuck. Nope, just mouse problems...

Fiddle with it a little, and at some point it stops working at all.

My room was dark now, so I got up to turn on the lights, sat down in front of the PC, and moved the mouse by instinct.

Surprise! It's working again!

My brother comes in and turnes off the lights. Mouse non responsive.

I tell him to turn them on again, mouse works again.

At this point, we were both scratching our heads at this mystery...

I decided to confirm it again using a desc light.

Conclusion: my 2 button, ball tracking, non light sensitive mouse was working only if light was shining directly oh it AND on my 14" crt monitor at the same time!!!

To this day I have no ideea why.

I kept them both for posterity, and they are still there in my parent's attic.

Fin.

Been playing a lot of old NES games lately.
Made me think how did they develop and program such amazing games with primitive 80'-90's technologies, assembly/c and no internet.

Now with all the tech we have most games are crap and based on webshit or mobile.

Saw this on my PM screen.
I felt pure joy.

If you happy and you know it, old but gold :D

AGE++;
TTL--;

Refactoring

When wrote some abstraction,
commented out the old stuff,
replaced it with the new calls
and after it passes all tests
get to remove all the old crud.

( ☼ ◡ ☼ )

I feel clean again.

Keeping old and unused code blocks commented out and not deleting them immediately is the equivalent of leaving that bottle of soy sauce in the fridge even though you know very well that you won't use them ever again.

A few years back, when I register for an account, I can easily find the year of my birth on top of the dropdown list. Now it's going down down down....

Found 4 unused phones, what should I do with them?

I’m older than C++

I feel old, given how fast our industry moves.

Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.

Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.

*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?

Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!

Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.

Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!

Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?

Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.

They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.

Suddenly my professor has a thought.

Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.

Client: ...

!rant
So the other day, my mother came to visit me after a while of not seeing each other. And one thing we used to do together was go searching through old weird junk stores. We go searching through one, and there was a box of floppy discs. I was excited, because I haven't seen one since I was a little kid. I brought it to her attention, and she said, "Wow. A floppy disc!" I laughed and read the disc aloud, "Oh man. Only 1MB." Then proceeded to laugh even more. And she said "I remember thinking 'theres no way anyone would ever take up that much space!'"
That just absolutely blows my mind haha.

old times ...

Manager: What's your time estimate on that latest ticket?

Dev: It's literally written in the "time estimate" field on the ticket, even in standard human units like "hours", "minutes", and "seconds"

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.

One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.

A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.

That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".

After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".

So I took out my old computer and I’m gonna try to make it run. Wish me luck

So, today for my SO's father who is already over 70 and wants to try Linux. However, he doesn't want Linux on his main PC for now, rather on the old one so that he can take his time to get familiar, which is a reasonable plan.

But holy crap, what a machine! Intel Core2 Duo 4400, 2 GB DDR2(!) RAM, 250 GB IDE(!) HDD, DVD RW drive. Graphics, sound and LAN integrated on the mobo chipset. It's half a miracle that it doesn't run on steam. The machine had been delivered with Vista and has always been painfully slow.

It doesn't even support booting from USB, but I had prepared a DVD just in case. Surprise: it booted from DVD without issues and with full HW support!

Partitioned and installed, deleted Vista in the process (felt good). I went with the full blown Mint 20 Cinnamon edition because XFCE isn't as beautiful. Also, having XFCE now and then Cinnamon looking different on the other PC would be confusing.

Installation took some time, but worked. Cinnamon's RAM usage is at 750 MB idle, and at 1.1 GB with Firefox started. Once the PC is booted, it runs pretty OK with reduced swappiness and noatime on all file systems, plus unnecessary startup applications disabled. Updates took long, but ran through successfully. Installed LibreOffice and some small games, Firefox got uBlock Origin, Youtube worked OOTB.

That PC somehow had escaped disposal several times - and now has a proper OS for the first time in its miserable existence. It runs so much better than it ever has. Just wow, a "big" Linux desktop from 2020 blows a contemporary Vista out of the water on such an old machine!

Just started a Coursera Machine Learning course. Suddenly I feel like a 20 years old guy going at university. Better than feeling like a 44 years old adult working on shitty things like every day...

When I was getting my CS degree, in the first year (2003-2004) all projects had to be delivered in an envelop containing the printed document and a floppy disk with the code/program inside. Yes, a floppy disk.

So whenever I couldn't finish the project on time, I just dropped a corrupted floppy disk on the envelop, this way I got at least one more week to work on the project and when professor came to me like "Hey, your floppy didn't work" I was like "no way! oh man, I think I have a copy here, try this one instead".

Oh those good old times that will never come back.

Approaching an old project like...

Sold the company and started working fulltime at a company in a different sector a year or so ago.

Today one of the ops people comes up and says that someone is on the phone asking for me.

One of my old clients apparently had a question about their site. Turns out that they tracked me down on LinkedIn, and called my new company's public line just to see if I would be available to help them out.

Fortunately the new powers that be took that one in their strides..

Working for a company that hasn’t fully implemented git yet.

Servers are a freaking mess.

.old
.bak
Very-very-old
Backup

I just answered an old Question I asked on a forum and I don't know if I should be proud about my improvement or if I should feel dumb for accidentally answering my own question

When I revisit old code that's not commented.

My dad is an old-timer and he just recently started using the computer to browse the Internet. He calls me in because the browser froze (Microsoft Edge for the win) but he initially thought that he had broken something on the computer so he grabs his mechanic tools and a flashlight to see if he could repair it. I had a good chuckle.

Wanted to search something in my old code. Understood why people use comments.. :/

When reading your old code, there are two feelings you may have:
1. I was such a dumbass back then
2. I was so thoughtful back then

If its #2, seek a position outside development, like product management, your coding career is probably over.

Linux isn't the only option for trying to breath some life into an old machine. Give Solaris a try :) ☕

Woo, rant time.

I've recently changed jobs to a new company due to a number of factors at my old job. I didn't tell my old boss (let's call him X) my expected salary, nor did I tell him which company I was going to.

However, I've been informed by someone that still works there that X has been discussing my new wage in front of everyone; he was telling everyone that I'm going to lose money by moving job and that I made a stupid decision.
I didn't leave due to money, it was due to X's inability to take constructive criticism, the constant subtle sexism of the office and just a generally bad overall feeling about the job/office going forward. Yes, I will admit that money did have a minor part in my decision to leave but I didn't verbalise that to anyone in the office, and I made X aware that my departure wasn't to do with money. I left on good terms.

I feel as though it was wrong of X to talk about his opinions on my new job in front of my ex-colleagues and friends. I don't know, maybe this is the norm and I've just been living in a cave before this, or maybe my last boss was just a bit of a douchenugget. Has anyone else had this experience?

I've got to meet up with everyone from my last place tomorrow to properly say goodbye and things.. but I'm not sure how to approach my old boss when leaving drinks are held now. Should I say anything? Should I just act as though I know nothing about it?

What would you guys do in this situation???

When you realize you're that grumpy old developer stuck on that old school sh$t.

My car window got broken this night and they robbed some of my stuff.. Well I lost around 100€ in stuff so it's meaningless, but I have to get my car repaired, and most of all, they stole that old shitty laptop that I use as a seed box and for file syncing. It was my first own computer too, it had about 7 years :/

Its my morning rant time... Me and my team are working on implementing our solution into 20 year old piece of shit POS system which:
1. Uses old piece of shit computers - which is slower than average calculator.
2. Uses .Net 2.0 - and no higher versions could be installed.
3. Has 20 year old documentation - outdated as fuck.
4. Throws unknown and non explainable COMExceptions.
5. Works slow as fuck.

And we have to deal with all its issues as 3rd side integration.. FUCK... FUCK.. FUCK....

That moment when you realise your console is just a pc and the days of fast cartridge in and load game as gone and with that statement I also feel old.

I kinda miss this era.

- Image proudly ripped from trogus old rant.

Stop calling people by their old occupation titles. .
Please address them by using their new titles accordingly
and they will like it their job more.

OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist*

OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission engineer*

OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Controller*

OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*

OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*

OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*

OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*

OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Director*

OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*

OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Director*

OLD: *Prostitute*
NEW: *Practical Sexual Relations Officer*

OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Officer*

OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*

OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestics Managing Director*

OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Chemist*

OLD: *Gossip*
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Director*

Which one got you more?

I recently came across my old interview assignment code which I had written while I was still in college. Oh my God, it was cringy! It was such crappy code 😂

My coworker (who had interviewed me) saw it too. He was surprisingly very chill about it, saying that the code is not bad, it just shows a lack of experience. I think I will choose to believe him 🙃

Imagine yourself being a CTO back then.

Brand new Acura NSX. No MacBooks, ThinkPads are hot. Your company has its own skyscraper. CASE tools are just introduced and they’re hotter than blockchain now. You do software architecture in IBM Rational Rose, typing on your Model M and thinking really hard about Java OOP which is very hot right now.

You have Erlang servers at your own data center. You laugh at people writing in COBOL. You excited about aspect-oriented programming.

What a wonderful time.

my 8 month old on her stroller at the grocery:
*cries in screaming*
*is scared of unrecognized faces*
every single old person we pass by:
let's grinstare this thing right on its fucking face.
baby: *cries harder*
old fuck: uh oh, time to go

I just want to say that I don't look anything like my avatar. Maybe I looked a bit like that 50 years ago, but now ... nope. So, how about a wrinkly avatar option?

got a new (really old) dell tower
guess what that means folks

sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...

reading your old code like

Man, fuck the SO community
I asked a question on software engineering (all fancy like, links quotes checked spelling and grammar etc.)
if it would be beneficial to switch to another language in order to increase performance and memory limitations during a specific task

Literally one guy said it violated 4 of their rules
Opinion based; asking for language switch; too vague and another one

About 20/30 minutes later my question had a -3 score...

Fuck off with too vague, also why shouldn't I switch language for a single task... If it would be faster..

Anyway found an even better solution, but it cannot be enough said.. the SO community is a bunch of old stubborn fucks who only care about their score.

When I see on devRant old memes that every dev has already seen two years ago.

Coming back to own old code brings pain 🙃

So my wife bought a really old android tablet (it's on gingerbread lol) so I've decided to bring it up to android pie, yes that means building a custom ROM, from scratch, for a 7 year old device. I will be documenting my progress and if I fail then at least it will be published research as the memory optimization in android pie is so much smoother now it should be good. If it fails I shall try to build android go to the device.

It's still got a 1.5ghz processor and 1gb of ram which should be fine so here's hoping.

Look what I found with a bunch of my old stuff. Old school Linux.

today i had to use an old resistive touch monitor.
what the hell how people can use that thing?
i had to literally punch it with my finger to get a click recognized

Found this in an old project of mine... I think I was fed up with some issues ^^'

My 5 years old pc died, had to pull out my 12 year old laptop back

Never used VIM

WISH ME LUCK BOIS

I just did a code review on an old project of mine. 10k lines altogether. 5.7k TODO's. I can't even.

Reading old code be like: who the fuck made this shit... oh, wait, it's me...

Had a blast from the past the other day. Testing an issue with an AngularJS app in IE11 on a project managers Surface.

Nothing works. Just a blank screen. I open the JavaScript console to hundreds, maybe thousands of errors. They all seem eerily familiar, but I can't place them. It's like something from a past life.

Then I see one that brings the issue into sharp focus.

"{{variable_name}} is a reserved word"

No it isn't, I think. That hasn't been a reserved word in JavaScript since...

Me: "Is your browser in Compatibility Mode?"

PM: "Yeah, it's for one of our legacy programs"

Me: "You need to turn that off to test this app. It thinks you're using IE6, so it's having a 2 decade old shit-fit. I haven't seen those errors since I was a teenager making crap on Geocities"

I never thought an error message could make me feel so old 😩

Sort of a meeting, sort of an informal interview, I've dialled in from the home office and my audio setup includes a standalone mic and some noise cancelling headphones. It's going really really well when all of a sudden I see something in the preview window of my webcam feed.
Behind me, looking very concerned and confused is my 73 year old Nanna who'd decided to pop in and see me as she was passing by.
It's common for me to keep the front door locked, but my Nanna has an emergency key and knows I don't always hear a knock at the door, so let herself in.
So she's now in the house, calling out to me and she can hear me talking, so follows the sound of my voice thinking maybe I'm on the phone. Walks right into the office, where the door is behind me, eventually puts two and two together to work out that I can't hear her and finally sees herself on my monitor. She panics and goes to hide in the corner of my office, almost underneath my workbench because she's old and doesn't know where she would or wouldn't be visible from.
The rest of the meeting went really well, but overran by at least half an hour. Meanwhile I can see my poor Nanna hiding away in my peripheral vision.

Accepting that my Old rig is Way too old

So it's done. I signed my new contract with my new company after I left my old job. Better contract level, better pay, better benefits (at my old office they didn't even give me a pc. I had to use mine..)..
But the sad/funny story is that my old boss do not talk to me anymore because he can't understand why I'm leaving..sooo mature!
I really don't care because actually he do not deserve anything from me, he's (and forever will be) an arrogant prig without humility.
The only regret is leaving the co-workers I bound with..but I'm sure we'll be in touch.
Yep.. maybe this is definitely a rant/story!
Wish me good luck for this new adventure!

Printer cable 20 years old, I miss you.
You remind when I was young, I used windows 98 and I do not know linux

We were having some complications;
Then I said, c'mon baby don't disappoint me.
Thereafter my old Pentium 4 PC booted up with ease.

Once made simple .bat file that opens itself.
Changed the icon to Internet Explorer(yea i know what you are thinking but it was like 2003 or smt.)
Victim clicks the shortcut.
BANG! Endless loop of same application eventually freezing everything.
12 years old and feeling like a damn hacker feelsgoodman.jpg.

Currently installing Arch Linux on my old machine ^^ Gonna revive it as a secondary machine I'll do some stuff on. Maybe. Perhaps.

10 PRINT "HELLO"
20 GOTO 10
RUN

It was the late 80's or early 90's, I was around 10 years old, and my jaw dropped when I typed this on the Atari 800XL my parents had just given to me.
Hooked ever since :)

That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.

Why did I volunteer to this shit...

I am supposed to maintain 4 old websites (like they were written 10+ years ago..). It's written in PHP, before mysqli, so all the calls to the DB is with mysql functions.. Now the server is to be updated and run PHP7.... guess what? those functions don't exist any more.... Now I have to patch several thousand files to use the mysqli functions... And no, there is no reason to rewrite it more than that, as I'm also developing the new versions om the sites, but those are so far from done and the new server needs the update as soon as possible, so bodging the shit out of this one...

Oh god the amount of repetitive labor 😫☹😭

And I'm not getting paid, because I'm doing it for my scout group... Tho they pay some of the Pizza 😜

older clients are returning with my old projects and asking for improvements, I did buy a few very shitty scripts from the internet/ and used one of my friends custom php cms for the other client because I REALLY needed money and they needed the projects yesterday.

Now I'm looking at the code and can't start working because of how messy it all is, I want to remake it all with a good framework and system, but it would take too much time (and they want it fast) and they wouldn't want to pay for the improvements because what they have now works..

I guess the shit you throw out when you're younger does come flying back like a boomerang..

!rant

My laptop is 8 years old this year. She’s still going strong but her Core 2 Duo is starting to show. I need a new dev laptop so I can put all my cool dev stickers on. Sponsorships? 😬

My father showed me MS Paint when I was five years old or so, and I still remember I thought it was incredibly awesome.

Old days

Worked at a big company as firmware dev a few years ago (less than 2) but switched cause of bad pay. Joined a consulting firm with better pay and bemefits. In 2 weeks I am going back to the old company but as a consultat... they should have just payed me and we could have avoided this :D

rant & question

Last year I had to collaborate to a project written by an old man; let's call him Bob. Bob started working in the punch cards era, he worked as a sysadmin for ages and now he is being "recycled" as a web developer. He will retire in 2 years.

The boss (that is not a programmer) loves Bob and trusts him on everything he says.

Here my problems with Bob and his code:
- he refuses learning git (or any other kind of version control system);
- he knows only procedural PHP (not OO);
- he mixes the presentation layer with business logic;
- he writes layout using tables;
- he uses deprecated HTML tags;
- he uses a random indentation;
- most of the code is vulnerable to SQL injection;
- and, of course, there are no tests.
- Ah, yes, he develops directly on the server, through a SSH connection, using vi without syntax highlighting.

In the beginning I tried to be nice, pointing out just the vulnerabilities and insisting on using git, but he ignored all my suggestions.

So, since I would have managed the production server, I decided to cheat: I completely rewrote the whole application, keeping the same UI, and I said the boss that I created a little fork in order to adapt the code to our infrastructure. He doesn't imagine that the 95% of the code is completely different from the original.

Now it's time to do some changes and another colleague is helping. She noticed what I did and said that I've been disrespectful in throwing away the old man clusterfuck, because in any case the code was working. Moreover he will retire in 2 years and I shouldn't force him to learn new things [tbh, he missed at least last 15 years of web development].

What would you have done in my place?

I've met a potential client who has a popular website, but it was last designed in...get this...1995. The design literally has not been updated since then, except to update content via Dreamweaver. DREAMWEAVER! Sure, it runs fast in terms of page speed. But it's using tables for layout, has no CSS, and tags that have been deprecated for over 15 years now. And, of course, it's hosted on GoDaddy. Just...wow.

Old one..

When I look at old screenshots of apps, I think, "this was state-of-the-art once"

Nothing good will ever come by looking at your old projects. It is the dev equivalent of reading your old social media posts.

Got fired today due to one big cunt who just joined to sabotage all junior devs because his older than all of us, im dissapointed at how arrogant some of you old devs are, the good old days development houses used to be fun and young, i respect all of you with great heart but we are not trying to compete with you if we know knew tech better than you, times have changed, if you are still dumb about bootstrap dont hate on anyone but yourself. Grow deFaQuPndStopHating

Anyone else?

Reading the code that i wrote years ago, FUCK OLD ME

When you run your 3 years old project and it works great.
it feels like: The walking dead !

Being 46 and finally having the chance to focus on software development after years of BA/PM roles, flogging the market trying to get a junior gig, then one day painting a shed with my 16 year old who I introduced to programming about 6 months ago and listen to him speak at length on protocol programming, finer variances between python and swift and his own development of a text based RPG system where he is creating randomized map generation, gear customization etc. only to realize as paint glides down my arm:

" I'M FREEKIN' OLD!!!!"

When did my brain stop absorbing like a sponge and behave more like a brick?

- Can you please repair my laptop?
- Ok.... -.-

What do you think, how old is it?

The happy moment you start a new project a Find that you can use your old code, then realizing you don't remember how it worked but use it anyway.

When u see old code from 2 years ago

Just opened a month old android studio project and now I'm wondering what the hell is going on. And later realize the importance of comments. :-(

When you search old your USB-Sticks and find abandoned old rotten projects <3

when you receive promotional messages from your old company.
and feeling hits

"So, this is what we are now..."

I feel old now . I owned and still own most of these lol.

That moment when you go to your web development lab, write ES6 JS and your teacher tells you you are doing it wrong.
"That's not going to work in JS!"
You know something? SCREW YOU OLD MAN! 😕😠😑

My grandmother recently died and me and my brother were wondering what was to happen to her 10+ year PC (Dell optiplex 760). I could find a use for the monitor and my brother wanted to use it as a server. We asked around at the family and everyone seemed ok with that except for one guy..

Apparently the PC is still in "prime condition" running Windows 7 after an upgrade from Vista. It has 'a graphics chip or something like that' and is better than any laptop on the market right now. (I actually had my HP zBook 15 g3 with me). He claimed it wasn't some old worthless piece of junk and most family members would probably be interested in this machine.

I didn't try to argue because I realized he was not at all knowledgeable about technology and I didn't want to be disrespectful.

Anyone still using DOS?

I'm looking at old code that I wrote around half a year ago, and noticed that my coding style changed over time (relying more on arguments to pass messages between commands and functions, rather than sourcing the result of a command). I feel like this old code isn't truly mine anymore. It's thousands upon thousands of lines of code though... Given that, would you rewrite it or just move along with the existing design? I mean in my opinion the current code really sucks.

I hate making GUI stuff. Can't people use console instead of GUI as good old times? I've made the whole program for console in Java. Was using it for myself but now I'm thinking of selling it but I have to make a GUI for it first but learning JavaFX is so hella boring.

Business idea:
- Buy some big old computer.
- Sell them as quantum computer.
- Get cash and run away.

Currently this idea may work. 🤔

That bad feeling when you leave a project aside for a few weeks and then when you finally decide to continue it you don't understand the code you wrote...
I'm searching a solution for something I already solved once again. FUCK!

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

How old are you?
I sometimes feelike the old fart in here.
I am turning 39 on Halloween :)

As I went through old open PRs, to sort them out and resolve them, I started to feel you do when you look at your childhood photos or in case of YouTubers at their old videos.

That is to say, I'm dying of shame.

*Well at least I'm cleaning them up now so~*

Found some old friends tonight going through old boxes.

Old pc problems:
Never know if program is slow because
My code is shit
Or my computer is shit

Whenever I read a rant where someone talks about their first Linux install or distribution they used I feel old. I remember installing Slackware back in 1995 on a 386DX that was previously used to run Wildcat BBS.

Back when I was younger, I used to do concreting. And our boss was an old school type of prick.

Pissed off one guy so much that the guy literally hurled a shovel at him lol. Then quit.

Well apparently I found a old Nexus 7 device, what should I use with it?

Call me old fashioned but I'll go with pen & paper!

Last job I was in, dev boss would ask to send him snippets of code through email for review...

...they used no git or source control

I quit after two weeks.

Old Days

What the best database solution for web and smartphones dev?
Is mysql the good choice?
I’m an “old” dev with old usage, php-mysql-JavaScript.
Is it a 2018 solution or am i a dinosaur?
All data will be stored on server side. Web and smartphone app as client.
Thanks for your experience sharing.

Same as we look at some old pages and see "oh this is unstyled table layout, that is xHTML inline style - it's from the 20th century"

People will look at pages of today in like 20 years and be like "Oh gosh, the material design phase. - oh the apple-blur-copy-cat-phase, oldish HTML5 code, that's from the 2010-20-ies"

found this today >O<

Hey seniors:

Let's make a rant and name some old technologies that have been frequently used and now they are obsolete

I have an old macbook pro (mid 2010) which I dont use anymore. Im thinking of installing linux on it. Just for the heck of it.

Do you have any suggestions? Have anyone done it?

*I dont need it for any day to day activity.

That moment when you read your own one month old not-commented code !

What is this?

My old devrants make no sense, just like my old code.

"Old Person" (noun):
Someone who refuses to wear earplugs, headphones or other personal hearing aid audio devices while demanding, but not paying attention to, a living room television set on the loudest possible volume.

Who on here used GeoCities?

I never got to see it since I'm born after yahoo bought it but do you maybe even have your old site to showcase?^^

A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.

colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...

Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.

I'm in involved in a situation where one old corporate is helping build solution for another old corporate's Windows 98-XP systems.

Still a better love story than twilight.

While waiting for the subway to go to work i was checking my emails on my phone, an old man approched "u young people are only using those phones for facebook and useless stuff , find yourself a job and blablabla.. " how can i tell him i'm a mobile developer ... :/

I got into programming because I couldn't solve a maths problem I'd been set, so my dad found an emulator for an old language he used to use a bit and managed to brute force it.

From there I went and learnt my first programming language, an unconventional choice of BBC basic 😛

X.Org is fucking old.

a very old bicycle shop... my sister is working on a new design for them, but they haven't taken the old page down and she doesn't have access/responsibility for this.

Sometimes I look at my old code and I wish I could go back in time and punch my self in the face for writing that shit

But then I look at it as I'm actually improving so guess it's ok?

Spent 4 hours fixing callback mess I had in my ReactJs project, making it all as Promise and async hope I don't fuck up this time

I have a friend which have a hoarding disorder when it comes to coding. Here are some of the things he does:

1: If he rewrites, remove, or in any other way refactor a function, then he keeps the old one in the file commented out.

2: If he deletes a class then he takes the code and paste it into a class that he have just for old code. AN ACTUAL CLASS! Not just some random text file somewhere. Even though it is commented out, he leaves it so that you can initiate his garbage.

3: In point 1, the code is not pasted on the end. It inside all the other actual code.

So if you try to help him with something, then you have to dig through a mountain of shit just to find some code.

Would there ever be a day when I would look up some old project's code and won't say "WTF was I thinking!"

I'm picking old manuals and documents for recycling, enough to fill one handcart.
Just found a letter from old girlfriends and lovers, and a folder full of a closed form of soft non-gender hentai...
Why do I find homoerotic hentai art better then more normal hentai... I don't know, but I still do.
Well, I'm just gonna save a few... hehe
Btw, also found some paintings and drawings I forgot I've done, 15 years ago. :D

A story from the old days

My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...

One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.

When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...

Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...

I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...

One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...

I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...

I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...

I work in huge corporation. Got an offer for smaller company and gave 2 week notice. My corporation offered me better base salary and retention bonus to stay. I accepted (mistake) and now they are not coming back with retention bonus or salary increase. I found out they did same trick with different person. Wtf... huge corporation is doing those kind of shenanigans?

When you don’t even understand some old code you wrote 🤔😩😂

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!

watching this makes me old. 14 by the way. lol

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl
,
windows cmd after enabling telnet client

enjoy!

Uuugh the 3rd of January first working day in my country, I am dreading 2018 already with the backlog of issues I decided not to fix in 2017 as if they'd magically disappear. Hello darkness my old friend...

Dear every app developer or web managers/designers that can read this.

Specificly, the ones who own a android app.

If you have an old android app that is still updated from time to time.

Please, take your time for just one minute.

AND REPLACE YOUR GOD DAMN OLD "Get it on google play" BADGE WITH THE NEW ONE, PLEASE! ITS NOT THAT HARD, WHY ARE YOU GUYS NEVER UPDATE TO NEW LOGOS?!

NOT JUST OLD APPS, EVEN SOME BEW STARTUPS ARE ACTUALLY USING THE OLD BADGE, WHY OH DEAR GOD WHY! WERE YOU LIVING UNDER ECLIPSE ROCK OR SOMETHING?!?

Reviewing and explaining 1 year old bad application logic to your client because he asked for it and now he can't remember how the application work.