Manager: Hey, this is Junior. he will work with you from now on.
Me: Oh cool, we could use some help.
(moments later...)
Junior: Hey i got this error. Im new with this engine. sorry.
Me: It cool, then you should read the documentation first. its all there. including your error.
Junior: whats documentation?
Me: ...

For all the cunts ever existed! what do they teach to programmers in college these days?!

Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.

*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*

And for how the conversation usually goes

Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."

So was first day at new job ... Boss takes me around meeting everyone. One employee stuck editing file by typing in new records data, calls boss for help.

Boss to me: "I like to get handsy with data from time to time. "
*me smiling, watch how he copies and paste the new records*
ME to boss:"why don't you just write the script to update all the records?"
Boss:"I don't trust the automation of input. "
Me:" what about human error?"
*crowd of other employees gather around awaiting answer*
Boss:"we include margin of errors in our disclaimer to the client... "
*He hears himself*
Boss:"... and we bill by the hour why would we work faster for less money?"

*me grinning, going to remember that line next time I need extension of deadline*

Me*murmurs*:" Master has presented dobby with a sock"
*Girl in next cubicle snickers clearly caught the reference "

Going to love it here.

User: We can not register three users on your website, it allowed us to register only first one

Me: What does it say? Some kind of error? Tell me so I can reproduce.

User: Well it says email address is already taken

Me: Uh...

- so yeah, they tried to register three users under the same email address.

Okay i'm done - YOU FUCKING ANDROID STUDIO MORONS. Being at a high level in C++, I tried to do some android coding. THERE ARE FUCKING NO GOOD TUTORIALS, NO GOOD DOCS, HECK, THE SELF GENERATED CODE OF THE IDE IS WRONG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON YOU FUCKING MORONS?
oh wait, let me first import android.widgets.rant;
or was it android.widgets.devrant.rant; or was it android.dr.rant.RantManager;?

Oh wait, I know lets search the docs?
OH WAIT THE DOCUMENTATION DOESNT HAVE THAT.
NOW HOW ABOUT I JUST TRY THE EXAMPLE CODE? WELL UH-UH! YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT YOURSELF WHAT TO IMPORT IN ORDER FOR IT TO WORK. ALSO, WHAT FUCKING UP WITH THAT PERMISSION SYSTEM? ITS SO BADLY DOCUMENTED!!!

Oh wait, I'm sure that I have to change something in this file... or was it that other file?

GOD
how dare they have style and design guidelines?
MORONS!

I will resort to implement my app idea in godot, idc anymore... I don't want to burn out because I used the "official high standard" tech.

it definitely isn't high standard and definitely not good. Thank you morons@google

THANK YOU FOR NOTHING

A FRAMEWORK WHERE I NEED 2 DAYS TO FIGURE OUT TO ADD EVENT LISTENERS TO MY THINGS IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE I'D LIKE TO USE.

also, whats up with

AudioRecord (int audioSource, int samplerateInHz, int channelConfig, int audioFormat, int bufferSizeInBytes);

ARE WE BACK IN THE C ERA? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO IMPLEMENT SOME SIMPLE FUCKING ENUMS????

WHATS THE POINT OF AN OOP LANGUAGE IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT LIKE C?

Oh wait I found a tutorial ... First trigger: "java scripts". Second trigger: this guy LITTERALLY ONLY TEACHES YOU HOW TO PLACE WIDGETS ON THE CANVAS. THANKS FOR NOTHING SHERLOCK!

Oh btw: did you know that android studio gives the best error messages?
"Error: illegal start of expression"
NO ERROR MESSAGE - NOTHING!
YOU BETTER USE THE IDE OR YOU GO HOME YOU FUCKER!!!

Oh and btw: if you want to read the best documentation - the code itself YOU GOTTA AGREE TO OR TERMS OF SERVICE!!!! WE DONT WANT ANYBODY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT US KNOWING!!!!!

THANK YOU GOOGLE FOR NOTHING!
YOU FUCKERS!

thanks godot for *atleast* existing. You are the... last pick i'd pick, but :shrug:, I have experienced android studio now.

If anybody has any advice on what to use instead, please go ahead. And you better not tell me how good you are at android studio. I DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN IMPLEMENT IN ANDROID STUDIO. I JUST WANT SOMETHING THAT IS USABLE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN DOING *ANYTHING*!!!!

fuckers.

!rant
Deployed my first website to production yesterday and the world isn't burning, the error logs have been empty and my (non-tech) colleagues think it is amazing.
I'm somewhat proud of myself.

When you get your first syntax error before you've had coffee in the morning

When doing first level support....
[windows desktop software]

Me: How can I help you?
Client: I installed the latest update from your website yesterday, but the version number hasn't changed
Me: You downloaded version *** ?
Client: Yes
Me: And you installed it?
Client: Yes
Me: Did you get an error message during the installation?
Client: No, everything worked fine, no errors
Me: And the installation process was completed?
Client: I think so
Me: Hmmm... Lets try it again. I will assist you.
Client: Ok
Me: Start your browser and open the website.
Client: ..... did it
Me: Good. Now click on the link to the download page.
Client: .... did it
Me: Do you see the the update package at the top of the list?
Client: Yes.
Me: Ok. Now click on it.
Client: Why?

It's finished.

After switching between Fedora, Ubuntu, Debian, Manjaro, Antergos and a dozen WM's I've settled for Arch on the desktop.

Took me over a week of trial and error, but it's worth the pain for the level of control you get.

Switching to Linux reminded me much of trying to find out if I liked text editors or IDE's more when I first started programming. I changed tools every day before I settled.

Screenshots of course. Now to actually get back to my JDBC projects before I start obsessing over how to get all my apps on the terminal. :D

Me: *Gets an error message I don't recognize.* fuck.

Me: *Googles error*
*First result is not StackOverflow but a github issue instead* oh FUCK!

IBM

I have replied to them with scripts, curl commands, and Swagger docs (PROVIDED TO SUPPORT THEIR API), everything that could possibly indicate there's a bug. Regardless, they refuse to escalate me to level 1 support because "We cant reproduce the issue in a dev environment"

Well of course you can't reproduce it in a dev environment otherwise you'd have caught this in your unit tests. We have a genuine issue on our hands and you couldnt give less of a shit about it, or even understand less than half of it. I literally gave them a script to use and they replied back with this:

"I cannot replicate the error, but for a resource ID that doesnt exist it throws an HTTP 500 error"

YOUR APP... throws a 500... for a resource NOT FOUND?????????!!!!!!!!!! That is the exact OPPOSITE of spec, in fact some might call it a MISUSE OF RESTFUL APIs... maybe even HTTP PROTOCOL ITSELF.

I'm done with IBM, I'm done with their support, I'm done with their product, and I'm DONE playing TELEPHONE with FIRST TIER SUPPORT while we pay $250,000/year for SHITTY, UNRELENTING RAPE OF MY INTELLECT.

I was having dinner yesterday and I suddenly get a message from someone from another team.

Them: Hi
Me: Hi

(No response for 20 mins)

Them: I'm having some problem with your service. Its not working when I do <task>
Me: Okay, let me look into that.
Them: Also, <task2> is not working
Them: And <task3> has problems
Them: Could you also look into <task4>?
Me: (visibly sweating) Let's discuss this in detail in the morning.

[Next day, morning]
*convinced that the service has a major bug*
Me: Yeah, show me what is causing the problem.

They show me what they tried. Turns out they made an invalid call and got an error, AS THEY SHOULD, and reported that as a bug. And all the other tasks were because the first call didn't work.

:|

Dev: “Ughh..look at this –bleep- code! When I execute the service call, it returns null, but the service received a database error.”
Me: “Yea, that service was written during a time when the mentality was ‘Why return a service error if the client can’t do anything about it?’”
Dev: “I would say that’s a misunderstanding of that philosophy.”
Me: “I would say it’s a perfectly executed example of a deeply flawed philosophy.”
Dev: “No, the service should just return something that tells the client the operation failed.”
Me: “They did. It was supposed to return a valid result, and the developer indicated a null response means the operation failed. How you deal with the null response is up to you.”
Dev: “That is stupid. How am I supposed to know a null response means the operation failed?”
Me: “OK, how did you know the operation failed?”
Dev: “I had to look at the service error logs.”
Me: “Bingo.”
Dev: “This whole service is just a –bleep-ing mess. There are so many things that can go wrong and the only thing the service returns is null when the service raises an exception.”
Me: “OK, what should the service return?”
Dev: ”I don’t know. Error 500 would be nice.”
Me: “Would you know what to do with error 500?”
Dev: ”Yea, I would look at the error log”
Me: “Just like you did when the service returned null?”
<couple of seconds of silence>
Dev: “I don’t know, it’s a –bleep-ing mess.”
Me: “You’re in the code, change it.”
Dev: “Ooohhh no, not me. The whole thing will have to be re-written. It should have been done correctly the first time. If we had time to do code reviews, I would have caught this –bleep- before the service was deployed.”
Me: “Um, you did.”
<a shocked look from Dev>
Dev: “What…no, I’ve never seen this code.”
Me: “I sat next to Chuck when you were telling him he needed to change the service to return null if an exception was raised. I remember you telling him specifically to pop-up an error dialog ‘Service request failed’ to the user when the service returned null.”
Dev: “I don’t remember any of that.”
Me: “Well, Chuck did. He even put it in the check-in comments. See…”
<check in comments stated Dev’s code review and dictated the service return null on exceptions>
Dev: “Hmm…I guess I did. –bleep- are you a –bleep-ing elephant? You –bleep-ing remember everything.”

<what I wanted to say>
No, I don’t remember everything, but I remember all the drive-by <bleep>-ed up coding philosophies you tried to push to the interns and we’re now having all kinds of problems I spend waaaaay too much time fixing.
<what I said, and lied a little bit>
Me: “No, I was helping Nancy last week troubleshoot the client application last week with the pop-up error. Since the service returned a null, she didn’t know where to begin to look for the actual error.”
Dev: “Oh.”

Today I was trying out Google Collaboratory for the first time. Just realised that they've built-in "SEARCH STACKOVERFLOW" button if there's an error

At an interview, the first round was an online coding round. Two questions, one easy one hard, 90 minutes, easy peasy.

I solved the hard one first.
A bit of good logic, followed MVC pattern, all done. Worked flawlessly.
Submitted code. Online compiler threw up an internal error citing java is an invalid command(jdk not found).
Called the invigilators. What I heard next, I couldn't believe this shit.
"We're not responsible for any errors you may be having. Figure it out yourself"
I was like WTF dude. This is not even a compilation or runtime error!
After a heated discussion, I made him look at the code.
Him - what is all this classes and all? Why haven't you written everything inside the main function?
Me - those are model classes. Those are different helper functions. That is a recursive function to avoid 5 for loops and use divide and conquer. Ever heard of OOP? what kind of person writes a 300 line program inside one function?
Him - no no we write it like that only. Correct this.
Me - I fit everything inside the main function. Still the same error, java not installed. Called the idiot to have a look at it.
Him - yeah your code is wrong.
Me - may I know what's wrong with it? Can you fix it please?
Him - no no we aren't allowed to see the code (he had already read it twice. It was compiling and running perfectly, locally) .
Yeah you solved only 1 problem, you were supposed to solve 2.
Me - yes because the rest of the time I had the pleasure of your company. (It isn't everyday that I see talking buffoons.)

My teacher at school who taught me programming. We were taught Java.

You see, Java is not a beginner's language, most say. But the way she taught it, the examples, the analogy, the explanation; she made it so easy.

She made us execute our first Hello World program (using BlueJ) and proudly said, "you're all programmers now!", that was when fascination took me over. I remember​ that moment till today.

Also, unlike regular exams, the programming exams required extreme competency. Marks were split up for algorithm and syntax. There were also questions like find the error in this algorithm for this output. She would always surprise us at the exams!

I had several glorious moments in class by being the first to answer most of her questions. At 13, it was kind of a big deal for me.
(Okay, who am I kidding, it still is :-P)

*sigh*

It was mostly just self learning from there. I switched schools and then there was college. Attending classes in college was like going to the gym with fat trainers. Utterly useless :-/ It just made me appreciate her even more.

Some days I feel like I work in a different universe.

Last night our alerting system sent out a dept. wide email regarding a high number of errors coming from the web site.

Email shows the number of errors and a summary of the error messages.

Ex. 60 errors
59 Object reference not set to an instance of an object
1 The remote server returned an unexpected response: (413) Request Entity Too Large

Web team responds to the email..

"Order processing team's service is returning a 413 error. I'll fill out a corrective action ticket in the morning to address that error in their service. "

Those tickets are taken pretty seriously by upper mgmt, so I thought someone on the order processing team would point out the 1 error vs. 59 (coming from the web team's code).

Two hours go by, nobody responds, so I decide to jump into something that was none of my business.

"Am I missing something? Can everyone see the 59 null reference exceptions? The 413 exception only occurred once. It was the null reference exceptions that triggered the alert. Looking back at the logs, the site has been bleeding null reference exceptions for hours. Not enough for an alert, but there appears to be a bug that needs to be looked into."

After a dept. managers meeting this morning:

MyBoss: "Whoa..you kicked the hornets nest with your response last night."
Me: "Good. What happened?"
<Dan dept VP, Jake web dept mgr>
MyBoss: "Dan asked Jake if they were going to fix the null reference exceptions and Jake got pissed. Said the null reference errors were caused by the 413 error."
Me: "How does he know that? They don't log any stack traces. I don't think those two systems don't even talk to one another."
<boss laughs>
MyBoss:"That's what Dan asked!..oh..then Jake started in on the alert thresholds were too low, and we need to look into fixing your alerting code."
Me: "What!? Good Lord, tell me you chimed in."
MyBoss: "Didn't have to. Dan starting laughing and said there better be a ticket submitted on their service within the next hour. Then Jake walked out of the meeting. Oh boy, he was pissed."
Me: "I don't understand how they operate over there. It's a different universe.
MyBoss: "Since the alert was for their system, nobody looked at the details. I know I didn't. If you didn't respond pointing out the real problem, they would have passed the buck to the other team and wasted hours chasing a non-existent problem. Now they have to take resources away from their main project and answer to the VP for the delay. I'm sure they are prefixing your name right now with 'that asshole'"
Me: "Not the first, won't be the last."

When it compiles without error in first try and you sit there and not believing your luck.

Hey guys :(
The rant will be long.

Today was one of the worst day ever.
I'm feeling so shitty right now.

I'm 19 and I started my apprenticeship about a half year ago on a very small company.
From day one I had many things to do, every day is hard and a new experience. But I'm learning a lot.

Two months ago I had my very first presentation for a client. I was really excited and nervous but everything was fine and the client as well as my boss were proud of me.

Today I should present again a prototype for the same client. But this time not directly personal, instead we did it via TeamViewer. After the client finally found out, how to open and start this shit, the disaster tooked its course.
After explaining him the conzept, I wanted to show him in the software. For some reason it suddenly stopped working. I've just made a change recently which leads in all appeareances to an error .
Because of that error I couldn't proceed, so I have to explain and show him the data I created before I made the changes.
With that everything Just worked fine, I could explain and visualize everything. It didn't Matter and didn't changed anything, only the Name was a Name from me.
The client was very relaxed about this error. He said that it is a prototype , it is not serious.
Furthermore I showed and demonstrated him everything.
But my boss wasn't very surprised and Happy about me. He made me responsable for the error, I should have prepared everything better and this all was Shit.
This made me really,really sad. It sounded so hard.
I know that I've made a mistake, but it's human. I'm only 19. I'm not perfect. Sure, I could have prevented it, if I had tested all possibilites right after I had made the changes again. I prepared the whole presentation on the weekend, on my personal freetime. I spent so often so much time in my freetime just for my job, for my apprenticeship. To get what? A fat bite, a kick in the ass. I'm doing so much, but this is not acknowledged. But when I make something wrong - then I'm the shittiest person.

Damn. Don't know how to handle this situation. This has gone to far today.
Yeah, I could have tested More, but I only tested the existing Data. I prepared the presentation very Well. This is so sad.

tl;dr: Bossmang blaming my code for a database connection issue thrown from outside of my code. Bossmang doesn’t listen. Bossmang doesn’t want to believe it’s a connection issue.

———

Bossmang: The code you wrote is causing insane spec failures in the release branch! It’s hard to follow because it’s so insane, but the cause is your code not properly handling undefined settings! Look at this! <spec>

Me: Specs pass on my machine. I ran it with both a set and nil value. <screenshots>

Bossmang: It works when you set it to nil.

Me: But a setting that doesn’t exist returns nil? <screenshot>

Bossmang: Not seeming to.... So this is the spec failure from the release: “No connection pool with id primary found. <stacktrace that starts outside of my code>”

Me: ... That’s a DB connection error. It’s also being thrown outside of my code, and from a `super` call to Rails.

Bossmang: But <unrelated> and <unrelated> and <other spec> is failing, and if I set the version, it has <other failure> instead! That calls your code first.

Me: It’s a database error. Also: <explains probable, unrelated cause of other failures, like someone didn’t mock a fucking external api call>

Bossmang: But if I restore a DB backup, it fails again.

Me: Restoring uses a dB connection, which could be exhausting the pool depending on the daemons you have running.

Bossmang: perhaps.

...

Bossmang: I still think it’s related to spec ordering.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
This is tiring.

I have a college that never seems to answer anything fully, just the bare minimum to make it seem like he did.

Regular conversations with him goes like this:

Me: “hey, I have a problem with this feature you added, I’m getting an error *insert error*”
Him: “yeah theres a script for that...”

Me: *wait for the script he mentioned*

Me: “whats the script?”
Him: “it’s FixIssues.sh”

Me: *looks for the script in the project*

Me: “hey, I can’t find it, where is it?”
Him: “here it is” *pastes a script into chat*
Me: “Oh, where can i find that in the project?”
Him: “you can’t”
Me: “???”
Him: “I have it in my OneDrive”

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Why this song and dance every time I ask something? This conversation could have been over in 1 minute but instead we both have to waste 15 minutes of our time to get this far.

Me: Why dosn't cp return an error code when the file in the first argument doesn't exist?

Coworker: Well, you copied a file that doesn't exist to a destination that also doesn't exist, sounds like a successful copy to me.

When there is no error the first time you compile...

I work for a "Visionary" in our org. Motherfucker will use something for five minutes and decided it's the new-hot, and off we go chasing it.

"I did a Python + AWS tutorial last night, I get it. We need to start migrating everything to Lambda today."

A week later he hits his first error message that needs more than five minutes of work to solve and we're moving to a local Haskell stack.

Me: *running my first Java program*
Java: Error: illegal character
Me: *scared* Am I going to Java jail or what?

Just double buffered the Windows console. What you are seeing here is two buffers: one which is empty, and one which has the text "Hello world!", and a pause of 1 second between buffer swapping.

This enables accelerated rendering in the Windows command line (By rendering to an off-screen buffer then simply swapping the active buffer), making things like advanced terminal applications in the Windows console possible.

And the best part- this is the first compilation of the project. Not a single run-time error. What a fucking satisfying accomplishment, honestly.

Summary: Burnout, and everything's broken.

I don't feel like doing a damn thing today. I look at the code and cringe. I look at Slack and think "ugh. i can't." Mental capitals are even too much work.

(I've started reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" to try and combat burnout. I'll write a rant/story about it here if I find it helpful. but all I want to do today is drink tea and read.)

But onto the story:

Heroku is deprecating support for and will automatically upgrade any old verisons of Postgres running on its platform after August something (like five days from now).

I performed the upgrade to PG10 on Sunday (and late into the night), provisioning a new follower, blah blah blah.

However, the version of Rails we're using (4.2.x) doesn't support PG10 sequences, so I manually added in support via a monkeypatch. I did this on our QA servers first, obviously, and everything worked as expected. After half a day of no issues, I did the same on production, and again: everything worked as expected.

But today? I keep hearing about new things that are broken. One specific type of alert doesn't work for one specific person (wat). Can't send [redacted] at all. Can't update merchants! Yet there are magically no errors logged.

That last one (well, two) are just great; let me explain: when there's an error concerning merchants, the error gets caught, isn't logged or recorded anywhere so it just disappears, and the rescue block triggers a json response instead and happily exits. This is for an internal admin tool, so returning a user-friendly error is kinda stupid anyway, but masking what actually happened? fuck that dev with an obelisk made from spikes and solidified pain. That json response is also lovely: it's a 200 OK returning {status: 1, data: "[generic message containing incorrect IT jargon]"}. Doesn't even say "error" anywhere. Bloody everything about this pattern is absolutely wrong. Even the friggin' text.

Fucking hell. I want to pipe the entire codebase into shred and walk out the door.

But I digress. So many things are broken, my motivation is wanning to a sliver, and I have a conference call today where I'll undoubtedly be asked why everything is on smoking and/or on fire, and my huge and overly productive week last week will ofc mean nothing by contrast.

Ugh.

`shred ~/dev/work -zfu -n 32 &; ./brew tea --hot && wine ~/takeabreak.exe`

I have those conversations with my coworkers about once a day. We use Linux at work and I am the only one with any real Linux experience.

C: I have a problem! I tried and googled everything already! Come help me...
M: *slowly walks over to their PC*
M: *copy-pastes the error into Google*
M: *clicks the first result*
M: *presses two buttons*
*everything works again*
M: So you tried Google already, have you?

When I leave there (it's a PhD position and I'm almost done) they will probably crash and burn...

Chrome and Android Studio are so well linked. Whenever I get an error I just type the first letter in search and get the rest of it as suggestion. 😅😐😒

!!oracle

I'm trying to install a minecraft modpack to play with a friend, and I'm super psyced about it. According to the modpack instructions, the first step is to download the java8 jre. Not sure if I actually need it or not, but it can download while I'm doing everything else, so I dutifully go to the download page and find the appropriate version. The download link does point to the file, but redirects to a login page instead. Apparently I need an oracle account to download anything on their site. stupid.

So I make an account. It requires my life story, or at least full name and address and phone number. stupid. So my name is now "fuck off" and I live in Hell, Michigan. My email is also "gofuckyourself" because I'm feeling spiteful. Also, for some reason every character takes about 3/4ths of a second to type, so it's very slow going. Passwords also cannot contain spaces, which makes me think they're doing some stupid "security" shenanigans like custom reversible encryption with some 5th grade math. or they're just stupid. Whatever, I make the stupid account.

Afterwards, I try to log in, but apparently my browser-saved credentials are wrong? I try a few more times, try enabling all of the javascripts, etc. No beans. Okay, maybe I can't use it until I verify the email? That actually makes some sense. Fine, I go check the throwaway inbox. No verification email. It's been like five minutes, but it's oracle so they probably just failed at it like everything else, so I try to have them resend the email. I find the resend link, and try it. Every time I enter my email address, though, it either gives me a validation error or a server error. I try a few mores times, and give up. I try to log in again; no dice. Giving up, I go do something else for awhile.

On a whim later, I check for the verification email again. Apparently it just takes bloody forever, but it did show up. Except instead of the first name "Fuck" I entered, I'm now "Andrew", apparently. okay.... whatever. I click the verify button anyway, and to my surprise it actually works, and says that I'm now allowed to use my account. Yay!

So, I go back to the login page (from the download link) and enter my credentials. A new error appears! I cannot use redirects, apparently, and "must type in the page address I want to visit manually." huh? okay, i go to the page directly, and see the same bloody error because of course i do because oracle fucking sucks. So I close the page, go back to the download list, click the link, wait for the login page redirect (which is so totally not allowed, apparently, except it works and manual navigation does not. yay backwards!), and try to log in.

Instead of being presented with an error because of the redirect, it lets me (try to) log in. But despite using prefilled creds (and also copy/pasting), it tells me they're invalid. I open a new tab container, clear the cache (just to be thorough), and repeat the above steps. This time it redirects me to a single signon server page (their concept of oauth), and presents me with a system error telling me to contact "the Administrator." -.- Any second attempts, refreshes, etc. just display the same error.

Further attempts to log in from the download page fail with the same invalid credentials error as before.

Fucking oracle and their reverse Midas touch.

Have you guys heard about blind coding?

I had been to competition, first round was quiz.
That was quite easy, though most of the questions were incomplete and didn't make any sense.

They have provided an app. We use that to check the result.

So first round is over, 1 hour later my friend called me asked whether I'm qualified for the next round . I checked the results and my name wasn't there. I was very disappointed.

I left that place after I saw my result. I got a bus which goes to my place.

After 10 minutes, I got a call from the event head asking why I didn't attend second round 😑. I asked why name wasn't there on the result, for which he replied with "database updatation error".

I got down in the next stop and took a bus again to that place.

I reached there, second round was started, First part was debugging. It was easy, I debugged the given program and got the desired output.
Second part was coding. A guy showed a problem to solve and told me to read it quickly . I did as he told.
He opened Dev C++ and gave me a paper to write the program .

When I was about to start typing, he turned off the monitor and told I should write it on paper first and type the program having monitor turned off. 😨

I wrote and typed the program without seeing.
After 30 minutes a college lecturer came to give marks. He told me to compile the program.

TBH, there were many typing mistakes. As header file spelling was wrong it showed only one error.

Him: Huh, cool only one error, well done. *noted that and walked to a guy next to me*

Just finished up my first compiler, with accurate extensible error reporting, and the syntax system is generically typed so I can reuse it. Pretty fucking pleased with myself

*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss

I got solution

but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution

*came back on desk*

me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what was solution ? wtf?

The first time I caused a massive error on production.

The good news was the site didn't go completely down. The bad news, however, was that it went down for 60% of our users, and because it's only partial, it got detected only after about two hours.

Everyone halted what they were doing to help investigate the issue. When it turned out that my latest commit caused the error, I was told to fix it... with the CTO and senior software architects watching.

It all happened because I deleted one too many line, an if statement, making the accompanying else statement a complete nonsense. It was a corner case code unforeseen by the QA guy.

The attached meme perfectly describes my feeling for the rest of the month following that accident.

So today I decided to change the passwords on some online accounts...

Sony: "Don't use the same symbol twice in a row. Oh, and how about 4 reset emails because the first 3 times it won't work?"

Me: "Okay, this password meets all requirements"

Sony: "I don't believe you lol."

Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"

Me: "But mine has 24 symbols and the password field shows a green checkbox"

Twitch: "Error: Your password length must be between 8 and 40 symbols!"

Aaaargh! Did they hire toddlers as interns or something?

As an Indian girl, there are more chances of my family finding me a suitable groom than my code having its first run error free.
FML.

User: Your web app hasn't been working all day.

Me: Uh ok...this is the first I heard of it. Whats the problem? Are you getting an error message with any details? Can you send a screenshot so I can look into it?

User: Yeah it was an error message.

...

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.

- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do

runasync some_async_fcn()
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...

- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....

I know my username is ironic :P

Worst technology I've ever worked with?

Microsoft-FUCKING-Access

The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.

I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.

If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.

The first thing Microsoft installs is Error Reporting 😆. They know it too.

Whenever my friend messages me to debug his code or to correct the errors, I google the line with the error, open the first result and copy and send the solution to him.

Now he thinks I'm a badass programmer😂

Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.

for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}

I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.

This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.

Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦‍♂️

This is my first rant with image, I was taking break and decided​ to read Android apps comments/reviews. So I picked this app call "Calculator", developed by Google.

Take a look at the second comments from the screenshot. It is beyond User Error...

I got the task to set up an NAS, because "server has too high maintenance costs".
I built two databases for this company and the big boss loved my work. (spoiler:not because my work was outstanding but because I, as a student, am cheap and willing to learn).
And now? Reality hit me for good. I looked for a enterprise worthy NAS solution, sent them the details, they bought it and now it's 00:00 in Germany and I'm sitting in the empty hall, trying to configure the storage to work like they want it. On a friday. Alone. As the only member of the IT-team. With way to much responsibility.

So... Yea, fuck you for good. I hope your backup gets an disk error at the same moment i quit. (but first gimme mah monney)

I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.

It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.

There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.

I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.

The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)

To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok

To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server.

Ages ago, it was still in the last millenium which will not end soon at that point of tine, I had a 10MB HDD in my first computer. It was a gift and second hand, and DOS 3.2 was installed on it, and my younger self, unable to talk or write english, had that cool game on it (Pitfall, if I remember correctly). But that game was not enough, so I tried to enter all the filenames in all the folders to find other games on that machine. Some commands were ther which I have not understand correctly, and one of them was 'format'. Typed in 'format' and pressed enter, an error message appears that I have to enter a drive letter as argument. Because I had known only A: for the floppy drive and C: for the HDD i tried at first with the floppy. Nothing happens, vecause there was no disk in the drive. Then I entered C: ...

Poof, everything deleted...

I was unable to setup that pc again and my so beloved game was gone also.. still sad about it, because that machine would be a real treasure today but it is gone a long time ago.

Finally finished setting up my private Git Repo.

First tried to install Gitlab, tried 2 hours to fix it. Holy shit the configs were a shit piece. Ended up at the end with a 502 error.

Fucking hate Gitlab, go die you piece of shit for dedicated servers.

Removed it and installed Gogs. Had 25 Minutes to set it up completly and I'm happy with it. ✌️

Dont won't to spent 7$ on private Repos for Github, when I have my own high power dedicated Server 😜

Today I found an error in how we handle credit on invoices in our software.

This is the first time my boss has ever made a legit pull request for me to review of his.

Damn I feel proud!

Boss: "So I'm taking the next week off. In the mean time, I added some stuff for you to do on Gitlab, we'd need you to pull this Docker image, run it, setup the minimal requirement and play with it until you understand what it does."

Me: "K boss, sounds fun!" (no irony here)

First day: Unable to login to the remote repository. Also, I was given a dude's name to contact if I had troubles, the dude didn't answer his email.

2nd day: The dude aswered! Also, I realized that I couldn't reach the repository because the ISP for whom I work blocks everything within specific ports, and the url I had to reach was ":5443". Yay. However, I still can't login to the repo nor pull the image, the connection gets closed.

3rd day (today): A colleague suggested that I removed myself off the ISP's network and use my 4G or something. And it worked! Finally!! Now all I need to do is to set that token they gave me, set a first user, a first password and... get a 400 HTTP response. Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

These fuckers display a 401 error, while returning a 400 error in the console log!! And the errors says what? "Request failed with status code 401" YES THANK YOU, THIS IS SO HELPFUL! Like fuck yea, I know exactly how t fix this, except that I don't because y'all fuckers don't give any detail on what could be the problem!

4th day (tomorrow): I'm gonna barbecue these sons of a bitch

(bottom note: the dude that answered is actually really cool, I won't barbecue him)

OK. A friend asked me how I found devRant. Let me tell the story.
I was solving a google code-jam problem. I was in hurry and I missed an intent. I was short in time and the error drove me crazy. so I opened a tab, typed: "fuck python" and the magic happened. The first result was a rant from devRant.

First day out of 10 exam days today! Have to use windows which I'm obviously not a fan of but oh well I'll manage.
But really, at first it didn't recognize my headphones (regular headphones input). Fair enough, after the admin fiddled around for half an hour we got it working.

*lets install Firefox and chrome*
The installers wouldn't launch at all, bit of fiddling around aaand it works.

*lets use Ms word again then*
Every time I try to save a file it gives shit tons of errors.
Found out that it does save but only with those errors.

*alright let's open up some pdf files*
"Error: no permission to use this application*

Oh come the fuck on just work I've got important stuff to do with a lot of time pressure!

I DON'T MIND USING IT ONCE IF I HAVE TO BUT COULD THAT COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JUST FUCKING WORK?!

The worst part, I wasn't the only one with trouble, multiple people still don't have the jackplug thing working :/

being a first year IT student:

- help, I can't check-in to my flight
- my computer is slow, I heard you can fix it (still runs xp)
- can you fix the printer?

- my laptop is broken (error message pops up with the actual solution) and there was an error
- did you read it?
- did I read what?

Is this gonna get better anytime soon?

Project Leader is explaining to teammate how their UI will call my API and it'll run asynchronously in the background. UI guy asks: about error handling? I said the callback listener will be notified if anything goes wrong. I ask the PL, what next? just log and forget about it (that's my sarcasm)? How would anyone know this has failed?

PL says: good point and can worry about this later. Lets first focus on getting things to work.

You know later never comes. Well, except when the customer reports a problem. Its like every disaster movie you've ever seen before

*Compiled successfully on the first try

Me: Expecting SEG FAULT.

*No SEG FAULT

Me: Expecting logical error.

*Runs fine

Me: Aliens hacked my mind.

You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.

You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.

Random 503 error, and you aren't​ answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.

And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.

I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.

I'm out...

The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?

I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎

So like a year ago I decided that I was gonna learn programming. And the thing that popped into my head was HTML and CSS. So I browsed some websites where you could learn some HTML and stuff. But I never really got into it and eventually stopped and moved on. Now I just kind of got a sudden urge again to learn programming and build a website again. So I started browsing some sites and found a suitable one. Since I'd already kinda learned the basics it was all kind of just repetition. And now I've got a very basic site set up with Apache that I was thinking I'm gonna use as my homepage. And I also got my very first experience not understanding what the fuck is wrong and browsing stack overflow for an eternity. Turns out it was a simple missing semicolon. Welcome me to the dev world!

VSCodium, just for a little moment, please go fuck yourself.

I mostly use netbeans but for just a little I'm using VSCodium (VSCode without the Microsoft calling home bullshit).

Just had this error I didn't see that fast and then, usually, whenever you put your cursor on the tee underlined code, it tells you the error in this drive-by popup thingy.

The goddamn popup disappears so fucking quick that its impossible to read.

Ended up trying to capture a screenshot in time which worked at try number 10+, then saw the error and corrected it.

VSCodium go fuck yourself. I'm not ready for this shit when I've just woken up and haven't fully drank my first coffee yet (or this is more like a triple espresso as for strength)

😡

Gotta love when you have something breaking because of an interface you have to maintain for a subcontractor for some shit that never should have been subcontracted in the first place and the problem is an obscure error caused by a Microsoft product that you're only using because the other Microsoft product you were using is no longer supported. So I guess what I am saying is fuck subcontractors, fuck Microsoft, and fuck tlb files

About age 7 playing with lego an together with a friend was planing to build a robot. 3 years later I got to play with a computer for the first time, A brand new zinclair zx80 with 512 bytes ram (thats 1/2kbyte), and we got it to print 0 instead of syntax error :D

Messed Up my first Coding Interview and that too of Google!

My first rant.

The first question was not an easy one. I cracked it though. Happy. Very Happy! I had 40 minutes left for the second question. And then came the nightmare. Okay, my foolishness.

I compiled my code. Compilation error.
Declared variables. Compilation Error!
Imported Libraries. Compilation Error!
Changed vector to an array. compilation Error!
Checked the loop for edge cases. Compilation Error!
Cannot use an IDE too. Tab's change is not allowed.

My score was still ZERO and I had only 15 minutes left.

Then lazily my eyes went to the language selected. It was C. I wrote the code in C++.

I mean HOW CAN I BE SOOOO STUPID??
I was coding in an entirely different language!

But..But, the story doesn't end here.
Next, I copied the code and switched languages. NOOO, my code was lost. I couldn't paste my code!!

I checked the timer- 5 minutes left.
Somehow, I managed to rewrite the code. And submitted it at the last minute.

I have no idea what will be the results. I just solved 1/2 questions.

SAD but FRUSTRATED at my stupidity :(

Well after years of programming, I've hit my first runtime error that provides no info , the code fails prior to being able to generate an error so this is fucking fine :-)

And of course, the one time I need stack overflow, it tells you to initialise the class with data... Yet the class doesn't contain a fucking constructor... Smiley face

I coded the app so good
I optimized the UX SO GOOD
I made the UI look GOOD
I made the error handling and input validation ROCK HARD SOLID BULLETPROOF

NO FUCKING WAY COULD YOU FUCK THIS UP

NO WAY COULD YOU BE DUMB ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW HOW TO USE IT AND NOT FUCK IT UP

I GAVE IT TO MY DAD AS A NORMAL USER TO TEST THE APP AND HE FUCKED IT UP ON THE FIRST TRY

HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND THE UX.

.

So, I got my very first gaming laptop on March 2015. Took a break from the almighty PC Master Race.

It's an Asus ROG G751JT. It was doing great, running my favourite games at 60FPS on high-ultra settings.
Few months after purchasing it, I've been getting a lot of BSODs with the same error (IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL)

As told by the guys at a local forum, I was told to try replacing the RAMs and I was stupid enough, I did. It has 4x 8GB HyperX Impact DDR3L.
The error still won't go away until I changed my SSDs. Which worked for a while until a week ago.

Getting the same BSOD countless times. This time I decided to directly talk to an expert, which is a friend of mine and guess what. It was the motherboard after all. Spent a lot of $$$$ to fix ONE BSOD.

Now I'm stuck with an Asus T100TF for about a month because I had to send it for warranty claim.

smh jfc anasmy y u so stupid for a year and a half. 10/10 worst experience (since it involved a lot of money)

What do you think of my stupidity? Comment below (10 marks).

I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
No answers.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/

Just tried to install the english language pack for Visual Studio 2015 Enterprise (the thousands of bucks edition). Well... the setup displayed "DEU" for german and later tried to switch to "EN" resulting in "ENU". First WTF moment.

But what really killed me was the error message... please restart the PC BEFORE the installation? Just wow.

my reaction when my code runs without any error, that too for the first time.

When you search for this error during 3 hours

if (false);
{
printf("why u right ?");
}

And it was just the first lines comma

When the poet in me fuses with the geek in me:

Will you be the css to my html?

When I encountered you,
My system threw a fatal error
My RAM was overloaded,
And my CPU went haywire

Will you be the css to my html?

I would show you my source code,
And let you merge your branch into mine
I will help you fix your memory leaks
And I will try filling all your nullpointers

Will you be the css to my html?

Your frontend would perfectly plug into my backend
I can compile all your heavy code,
Just in time

Baby just promise me,
You'll provide the JSON
To my API calls

Will you be the css to my html?

This is my first draft... Constructive criticism is welcome!

Issue or Error? Rant story time!

I was working on a windows desktop app, and everything was ok, you know, tests completed succesfully, all in time, etc. The problem was when we showed the demo to one of our clients. He saw several screens and we explained all the features to him.

Client: *Sees a Error pop-up indicating that a remote service is temporarly unavailable (what it has to happen in order to show him how the system would warn him when an external service is out of service)
Client: What’s that?
Lead dev: What do you mean?
Client: Yes. That’s an error pop-up
Lead dev: Yes, it’s a message that tells you that there was an issue connecting to the bank service
C: No, no and no. Please change it
L: Why? Don’t you want the system to tell you when there is a connection issue and why is that happening?
C: Yes, but my employees could lost their minds because of this class of messages!
L: So...?
C: You have to change it
L: Ok. What do you want to change?
C: First of all, don’t put an “Error” icon, put an “Warning” icon, and instead of “Error” title, put... “Issue”
L: “Issue?”
C: Yeah. Don’t put the “E” word, if the users see an “Error” message, they could think that the program doesn’t work, even if it does work.

We all though “WTF?!”

To make the story shorter, we changed all the pop-ups. That took two days.

Is that correct? I know that “Error” sounds hard but, seriously? “Issue: The remote service is not available, contact your bank?”

The debugging process is often complicated.

There are often many factors involved in troubleshooting an error, but usually I have a hunch.

Sometimes I'll ignore my hunch and try other, smaller fixes first. This will irritate me for a while until I actually go after my hunch, run the program, and INSTANTLY everything works again.

Found myself relating that to real life today when I had a slight belly ache and eventually decided to take a massive shit and INSTANTLY felt better. The relief was so quick that I actually looked up and paused in surprise.

#!/user/bin/peithon
paint "Hello !devrant"

<error>
*works on fixing error for 1.5 hours*

compile, run.

<new error>

*Squints eyes*

*"fixes" in 30 mins*

compile, run...

success?

<first error again>

now i am contemplating whether what should be thrown out the window is the pc or myself...

Earlier this day, I was about to start a new project. So I copied my favourite gulpfile.js into that projects root and installed all dependencies with npm. After running Gulp for the first time it threw an error.

Silly me tried to fix stuff and got googling the error and trying random things... After a break of a few hours I just fucking rerun Gulp and read the fucking error completely. It stood there. The fucking solution just stood there, run "npm blah --force" to reconfigure package blah....

Of course it worked right away and I finally could start working. But this shit took way too long. Why I just can't read the fucking error message. Damn

When you get a project ready for launch and the client finds a huge error that has to be fixed first, except it's not a huge error, it's something they requested two months ago and forgot about.

That's true with me in older days I am happy when my code runs without error on first time...but now it seems like borring and error make me happy.😂😂

Yesterday night, pushed code that work normally to prod server, website down, internal server error, too many connection to MySQL server, tried to fix it for 4 hours, nothing to do, removed the new code, still the same problem, in my head, I told myself that I'm not good at programming (not the first time), send an email to the host, they tell me the problem is from them and they fixed it. And now I know I'm not bad enough.

There is this general idea that people have that when programmers are able to run their code in their first attempt, without any error, they think of ourselves as geniuses. But i think that is the case only when you are starting to code. If a programmer with enough experience runs his/her code in their first attempt without any issues, he/she just says their thanks and moves on, because they know that the code can sense cockiness and if they get too carried away now they'll have to pay the price in future.

Me : *testing json output on pc by sending items with GET*
App : *app crashing with only recyclerview error*
Me : *debugging the app for 2 hours and testing ways to do another adaptor *
Me : fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... I used POST to get the data on app and forgot to change $_GET $_POST
Lesson learned. Always check the input first
Im ashame of my self #crysinthecorner

First Law of Software quality

e = mc^2

where e = error

mc = ?

That feeling when you create your first real program in Java (no, it was not hello world) and it compiles and works without any error...

Can I just say fuck Xcode? How the fuck have I been working on an app for over 3 hours and only now when I do the first compile do you feel like showing me an "Internal Error" message which has caused all of the buttons, labels, text and just objects in general to disappear

First rant from my new job.
I got a position as backend-dev in a startup and for now i'm learning angular. Yes, you read that correctly, because the frontend-team is short-staffed i decided to switch teams. We are 3 people and neither one has sufficient angular-experience (the framework was a management decision).
First of all i got confused because we use slack and trello but the frontend-lead decided to do some stuff via google-spreadsheet too. Then we didn't have any code in our repository until yesterday. I tried to check out the repository after that, did an npm-install but when running ng serve i got an error "css-file not found". It turns out you had to download some files from the official website and put them in the unversioned node_modules directory. It was the teamlead's decision to do so and me and my coworker got really annoyed when we tried to set up everything on our end. But that's not all, yesterday the other dev's merged their first versions of the project. But not via git, that is way to mainstream. The coworker had to upload his code into the cloud and the teamlead copied the files into the project folder.
Aside from that the code already isn't the best, some things should be done differently imo and we have credentials in the code (not in some separate files, but in an if-else-clause that checks node.env.production).

We'll have a discussion about this tomorrow, let's hope things can be straightened out.

First time I've seen an error with this date for at.

Dockers JSON output is garbage.

First, you'll get no JSON per se.

You get a JSON string per image, Like this:

{...} LF
{...} LF
{...} LF

Then I tried to parse the labels.

It looked easy: <Key>=<Value> , delimited by comma.

Lil oneliner... Boom.

Turns out that Docker allows comma in the value line and doesn't escape it.

Great.

One liner turns into char by char parser to properly tokenize the Labels based on the last known delimiter.

I thought that this was a 5 min task.

Guess what, Docker sucks and this has turned into try and error...

For fucks sake, I hated Docker before, but this makes me more angry than anything else. Properly returning an parseable API isn't that hard :@

Amazon mturk. Job was to rate grammatical corrections.

First of all, it's surprising how often people forget commas. That's like, the #1 error with these things.

People just keep going on and on and on and on and on and never break their sentence even if there was supposed to be a comma and it really makes the voice in my head fell like it's running out of breath but it can't stop because the sentence is still going and [...]

The corrections are generally okay. I took many more college-level English classes than I think I needed to, so my English is fairly decent. For this reason, I might be a bit more of a stickler than I need to be for this job.

But this one threw me for a loop, because it's just such a bad correction. Not only does it miss the obvious errors but creates a new, equally obvious error.

This is one of the reasons mturk is interesting to me. Sure, I don't make.... practically anything. But you come into such a variety of work that it's almost addicting in a sense.

>Be me
>Decide to contribute to an open source project for the first time
> Nothing big, just a simple compile error fix
>Make first ever pull request
>Over weekend pull request accepted
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Take a look at recent commits
>Module I tweaked was finished in a commit 6 hours ago
>Fix no longer relevant

So close.. :(

Talking about bad error messages

I missed the regular enrollment period for courses starting in 2 weeks, but I did have late enrollment days, which I remembered.
When wanting to late enroll, I was greeted with th error message in the picture. Bad news first, good news later I guess

As you can imagine, my heart skipped a beat. Nonetheless, it was all good in the end, because I was already enrolled for the compulsory courses I wanted to take

Finally got a new laptop at work!
The first thing to do: install linux in it so the beast could roar free.

Download mint iso, dd it into an usb drive, boot it up in uefi mode, .... /dev/sda read error: -110. Fuck, must be smth w/ secure-boot. Disable it, rinse and repeat. Same error. Wtf, could my drive be broken?
dd iso into another usb drive, boot live env -- read error. THE FUCK! It's wildly unlikely my both usb drives died on the same fucking day!

Go to it admin to ask for an usb drive. Iso->usb, boot -- live env is up. My my, look who's unfortunate today :)

cryptsetup, install, reboot et voila, the beast is finally roaring!

The feeling of the one error that you’ve been beating yourself over the head for...

And realize it was all your fault in the first place.

I love when searching for the error gives you results like this on the top of the first page on google. As you might imagine I don't speak Chinese

endor's first magical adventures with PostgreSQL

"Alright, got the docker image up and running, and I'm connected to the db, both from console and from Datagrip! Cool, let's get started with the tutorial!"
*cue montage of me using Datagrip to create my first schema, then the first table, then insert a bunch of data to try things out*

"Cool, now let's see if I can view my data from the console"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]

"*Ahem*, I said:"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]

db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [cricket noises]

"Wut, why can't I see the data that I inserted? Wtf is going on?"

*30 minutes later*
"Alright, I have no idea what's going on, so let's try inserting the data from console and see if Datagrip can see it"

db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
ERROR: syntax error at or near "SELECT"
LINE 2: SELECT
^

"Wait, what?"

db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
INSERT 0 2

"Wtf? Haaang on... "

db1-# select * from my_schema.table1;
id | name | field2 | field3
----+------+--------+--------
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
(4 rows)

*eye twitches*

Just spent over 5 hours trying to figure out Microsoft’s OneDrive REST api. Basically my first time trying to do POSTs n’ stuff. I got very very close, but the server kept throwing 400 error codes. Eventually I had to give up and ask Stack Overflow. Going to bed now at 2:20am. No worse feeling then not being able to solve a problem you’re dedicated on solving. :/

Bittrex is "amazing"...

I had lost my 2FA a long time ago (as my phone fried) and missed the account ferification deadline which caused my account to get disabled. Off we go to support!

0. Nothing to rant about at this point. I just created an account in their zendesk, logged in and logged a ticket to reset my 2FA and reactivate my account. They asked me for info, I provided it to them and got my 2FA disabled. Hooray!

1. I then asked to reenable my account. They sent me a link to restart the verification process. I open up that link and log in. I'm asked to upload some photos. I select requested photos from my galery and hit [UPLOAD]. An error pops up saying that smth wrong happened and I need to reload that site and reupload my photos. After page refresh they are telling me they are validating my uploaded info (w/o any way to resubmit my info, which, according to the error seen below, was not successfully submitted in the first place)...

2. So I reach out to the support guy again. Guess what he replies! He says he's sorry but he cannot help me any more and I need to create a NEW ACCOUNT in their support site with the same email <???!!!???>

3. I try to log in to the support portal and my access no longer works. MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DELETED! WTF!!!

4. I do as I'm told and create a new acc with the same email. Now I can log back in. So I'm raising a new ticket saying I still cannot finish my verification process due to the same error. It looks like it's going to be a fun ride with them so I can't wait to see what they'll reply.

2nd rant this week on PHP PDO

PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active.  Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll().  Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute

Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!

What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.

Company is about to get certified to ISO 9001:

Kick-off meeting with consultant announced weeks ago, mandatory for all employees.
Everyone is kind of joking about it, but also looking forward to certain workflows maybe changing to the better.

Two hours before meeting, told by CTO not to attend.

Some code I hadn't touched for half a year needs urgent patching to make the equipment pass EMC test (doing so within a few hours would help us save the lab cost for another day of testing).

When they applied RF noise to the bus lines, the CAN peripheral would glitch and need reset, this should happen covertly the first few times without raising any error to the user, so they could just finish the testing without being disturbed by the error - and the EMC lab will not test the functionality of the device after all.

The irony when you were actually supposed to learn about quality that day...

So, today I wanted to program a bit and, after reading the last chapter, I want to see what I able to do.
I run my last Linux distro, I open sublime and I start typing code. I finish, I build. 0 warning, 0 errors. Nice! I execute the code: error.
I watch and I struggle on the code for hours, I search on Google, I search on StackOverflow, but after 1 hour I notice I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. So I search instead for a way to produce a better error. I found it, I'm very happy. Let's try what the error actually is:
Error: success
Ok....
Ok...... Well, maybe.... Uhm......
Ok, I won't give up. I search for a tutorial. Found.
The code is almost the mine, it's actually a usual snippet, nothing new. I compare my code with the code in the example/tutorial.
First line, is the same.
First 10 lines, are the same.
First 30 lines, are the same.
I build and execute the example: it works.
I build and execute my code: still doesn't work.

I won't give up, I said it. I won't give up.

I wonder if there's a tool like git diff, so I can see what the differences are, maybe I've no good eyes.
I search, first Google result, "diff"
diff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

...thank you
I search for a better command
diff -y myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

I search for a still better command
Found. StackOverflow stroke again.
sdiff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"

.....
....

.....

I gave up.

Ps. I've 10 years of experience in programming

Modern cross platform mobile app development is a lie. Maybe if you do Apple first, I don't know. Maybe xamarin is better than Cordova, idk. I've spent more time tweaking to one platform than I would have just starting with a platform and writing two or three code bases. I've got more if iOS statements than I know what to do with and the Windows code is some hacky transpiled mess because UWP isn't ES6 ready for reasons. Also, some error and image handling just doesn't translate. All this and I've got significantly less features than I could have implemented in the same time writing in a native language.

When working on a project first create a good error logging feature

How on earth are there people in their second year of a computer science course who are unable to understand how to read build errors. It's honestly not that hard, just look at the fucking build log and see where the error is and what type of error it is, but yet they don't bother reading the log and say that their "compiler is broken" when their 5 line code won't work.

If this was still first year I'd understand since many of the class didn't have much programming knowledge, but if you're in your second year and you struggle with this (that too for a Hello World script) it looks like you aren't even bothered and just expect the computer to magically understand what you mean.

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

Love my new job but fuck they are way behind in any kind of modernization.

Just saw a demo over zoom where someone was showing the team how to change the margin on an error page.

They literally changed the HTML directly in prod using the VIM. So first of all no web modernation because there was no build, no deployment, not git, no pipeline - NOTHING!

This project went from 40 people to around 200 in 6 mos. You can't have all these people in prod just making fucking changes.

If this job did not pay 110k a year I would bail.

GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE

This is my understanding of "Machine Learning" in general

There are two sets of data:

1. In first data set, all the properties are known
2. In the second set, some properties are not known.

The goal of the machine learning is to find the value of the unknown properties of the second data set.

We do this by finding (or training) a suitable machine learning model (mathematical, logical or any combination of), that in the first data set, computes the value of the properties, which are unknown in second data set, with minimum error since we already know the real value of those properties.

Now, use this model to predict the unknown properties from the second data set.

spending 2 hours finding the error.. and the error was just missing < in the first line 😑

I hate dev politics...

PM: Hey there is a weird error happening when I upload this file on production, but it works on our test environments.

Me: After looking at this error, I don't find any issues with the code, but this variable is set when the application is first loaded, I bet it wasn't loaded correctly our last deployment and we just need to reload the application.

Senior Dev: We need to output all of the errors and figure out where this error is coming from. Dump out all the errors on everything in production!!

Me: That's dumb... the code works on test... it's not the code.. it's the application.

Senior dev: %$*^$>&÷^> $

Me: Hey I have an idea! If test works... I can go ahead and deploy last week's changes to prod and dump those errors you were talking about!!

Senior Dev: OK

Me: *runs Jenkins job the deploys the new code and restarts the application*

PM: YAY you fixed it!!

Senior Dev: Did you sump put those errors like I said.

Me: Nope didn't touch a thing... I just deployed my irrelevant changes to that error and reloaded the application.

The thing that I most hate is when you're approaching a new framework/tool, you follow the official documentation and the first example doesn't work.
I'm trying the official documentation of webpack, I tried the first example and guess! Error! It says that's probably a breaking change. Where the hell should I learn it? I don't have the crystal ball, should I guess how your fucking tool fucking works? Oh my god, it's ok if you introduced breaking changes, but just update all the references, is it so hard?

Got compile error on row 1337 for the first time just now!

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me!!!!

An error in PHP!!!

You'll get your next one on the second so you can rant at me!

I am currently signing up for a college and need to accept some rules. First of all I have to accept some rules concerning some IT stuff. These rules should be found on their website. But they are nowhere to be found. At least they have a search function. Using this function I was able to find some old websites that did not even include the terms I searched for.
One search result pointed to a PDF viewer with the error message 'Failed to load PDF document.'. Assuming that the actual pdf document is somewhere referenced in the source, I open up the DevTools and search for 'pdf'. Quickly I found a fucked up URL ending in 'pdf'. Somehow the domain name repeated twice. This probably caused the prior mentioned error message. After copying and fixing the link I can finally read the (7 years old) rules.

Maybe this is a requirement to find these rules to be able to sign up.?

Created a simple bot for an online game using puppeteer.

After an evening (and night) of dev and debugging (quite some rejected promise errors), it worked fine and was ready for a 10-minutely cron job.

Fixed a couple bugs in the first three hours. Then started playing minecraft, which lagged like hell.

Opened task manager and saw a list of about 25 headless chrome processes. They had not been closed because of unhandled errors before the close method call 😵

Now added some basic error handling ☺

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

Working in my first "modern" website, a personal blog. Holy fscking crap does this shit suck. Layout and CSS etc is basically a trial and error gig at best. There is no rhyme or reason. Why?!?!

Microsoft and their dev tools...

> Trying to login to Azure VM
> Get an error, saying that password needs to be changed before logging in the first time
> Head over to Azure portal, try resetting password
> Password reset is not successful. Reason: Account already exists (???)
> Google the error message. Found solution (coming from a Microsoft employee!): Create a new user, login with that, fix the password for user #1 inside the VM, then delete the new user

What's wrong with these people? 😂