There's no good way to describe the feeling of fixing a bug but having no idea how you did it. You stash, hard reset, toy around, fix it again... and still don't know what you did, but decide, "Eh. Whatever I guess."

I just met a whole new level of obnoxious scam mail: Google calendar invites. WTH. You can't even block it.

Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)

I finally broke.

That moment you remember that yesterday you said "that's a tomorrow me problem" and you're that tomorrow you.

Had my code editor crash twice in the past hour. Today's gonna be a day.

I simplified 7 functions down to a blob because it was truly unreadable and fragmented. As I did it, I thought there was no way I did it right. This can't be the logic. Nope. It is.

Yeah, the formatting could be better. End of the shift so that's a tomorrow thing.

grrgerefaeornvadfvnafvalfbv!!!!!!! *smashes keyboard*

Crystal reports, when given a null value into a display string, will just ignore everything and output a blank.

Other than being an a**hole, Linus. Guy changed computing as we know it with a little pet project

If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.

Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it.

I'm making excel scream in pain

No one:
Me: watching your fail2ban log is a programmer's fish tank

Working with Crystal reports, getting ready to deploy my changes. Guess what? My tiny changes to output has successfully broken 12 other fields, and 1 that is in absolutely no way related! Comes right from the database!

And it's crystal, so there's no debugger or logging. Plus, the report takes an hour to run! Today's gonna be a fun one!

Arts and crafts: developer version.

Context: spent all day making an ER diagram from an awful SQL query I was handed. Got sick of asking for it from the contractor who made the DB.

Yes, that's one query.

Followup to https://devrant.com/rants/2178597/...

It gets worse.

`if len(Replace({ODWR_CLAIMSNAPSHOT.LIMIT_DESCR}, '/', '-')) > 0`

Anyone have keyboard recommendations below $50 USD? I can't stand the one my office provides anymore. Flipping thing is a $10 piece of garbage that comes with the computers. Note that noise is an issue.

Whoever wrote this line of code... please take on a different profession.

`else if len(LEFT({ODWR_CLAIMSNAPSHOT.POLICY_TYPE}, 3)) > 0 then`

Just found a crystal subreport with 33 shared variables. For those who don't know what that is (lucky), they're super global variables that exist everywhere.

Please send help. I'm supposed to refactor this...

App developers, the fastest way for me to uninstall your application is for you to start sending push notifications for things that are completely unnecessary. They won't remind me to use the app. They'll remind me to uninstall it.

Started using Django today after working with rails for a long time. I like it so much more already.

Excel literally has internal support for treating other excel workbooks as SQL databases, encouraging end-users to do that instead of using MS Access properly, and *it doesn't even work*.

We need go, rust, and python dev ducks on the swag store. Change my mind.

I just... don't have the motivation to code. This thing that once gave me chills and joy for hours now feels tedious.

I still love programming. My depression is starting to win, that's all. Tearing up trying to write this.

Oh and yeah, my coworker just knocked out the entire staging Oracle database, so there's that.

I couldn't find a program for this so I'm making one. Cli based. Have a json object you need to unmarshal in golang? Yeah I was getting tired AF making structs for all of them with the json tag name over and over, so I'm mid way through a python script that generates the structs for you. I'll link it here when I'm done.

And if you're wondering why python? Dynamic object definitions. That's why it's trouble in go in the first place.

sap_crystal_reports_crash_count++;
fustration++;
anger++;
hatred_for_sap++;
// Every time a report crashes, it doesn't free the
// resources until the whole machine crawls to a
// halt. Why.

Dear person who make the buttons on the company website using map and pixel counts. why.

Whoever made the Crystal Reports language, screw you and your silent syntax errors. Sincerely, guy stuck maintaining reports.

The hypocrisy is tangable.

Just office things.

"Yes Dr, we do cover the corpse as part of our policy if such a case occurs."

Something about the corpse falling off a gurney and breaking something from what I could tell. Granted, it's dead already. People love to sue.

Go home, brew. You're drunk(er).