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People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!
WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!
OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.
😡20 -
"go back"
"now double the pixel"
*crystal clear image*
"ahhhh great we've got him"
Movies are sooooo logical6 -
It's also my only finished project so far: an alarm clock
Made for ~2 days, because I couldn't get up on time.
Currently flashes light into your eyes and buzzes with a piezo crystal and has wifi
15 -
I have a client (a friend of a friend of a friend) who came to me to build them a "simple" booking solution for their home cleaning business. Easy enough, I first thought.
Having taken a deposit based on my initial quote and contracts all signed, roll on exactly 8 months to where I find myself today.
It turns out, there is no cleaning business as the business will be totally reliant on the website. The original goalposts have now been moved to a completely different fucking country. The (now) required functionality has STILL yet to be finalised (I told client I'm not writing another line of code until EVERYTHING has been mapped out and made crystal clear), as every single face-to-face meeting / back and forth email turns into the client requesting hundreds more brilliant, essential features that make absolutely ZERO fucking sense. And now, to top it all off and push me into writing my first ever rant on here, I've just received an email from the client this morning saying "what I would like to have is like an online restaurant live booking system". WTF?!?!?
I work from home and have only my dog for company today, so please don't judge me. Just needed to let it all out.11 -
Just landed a new job as a developer for a company called NeuraLegion! They use Crystal on their stack, so guess what language I'll be using! But that's not even the best part. They hired me in part because they are using one of my open source Crystal libraries (a NLP library called Cadmium) and like the way I do things. So I am going to be getting paid to work on my FOSS libraries, whist sitting at home in my undies!
Holy shit I'm excited 😂😁7 -
I’ve been working on a fun little project using Crystal and d-bus to control the lighting for Razer RGB devices. Making progress!
24 -
Following on from: https://devrant.com/rants/1345037/...
I sent a polite but very frank email to the manager telling him I don't agree and think its extremely unfair to overlook the breath and scale of work we have done in the past few months. Instead to criticise us for this.
He didn't reply, or really speak to us for a week. Then suddenly one day the developers were all in a meeting room and he butted in to talk.
He first of all said he wanted to let things settle before talking to us, which gave me high hopes as I expected him to then say something like we miss understood, or he didn't realise etc.
... but no ... the next words out of his mouth were "I'm not apologising for anything, and I don't want to be told to piss off in an email".
A) Piss off = completely untrue and a massive exaggeration.
B) Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
C) See point B.
In that meeting we discussed the massive amount of meetings and work we have to do which was described as "just the job".
We were told we all have to be in until 5pm, but that we also don't. We need to be in the office more, but its fine if we can't be. And we need to cut down on WFH, but its ok to WFH ... so yeah everything is crystal clear.
I haven't written any code in 3 - 4 weeks. I'm now dealing with GDPR shit, and our internal processes to handle it (despite having no legal background). Have to fill out 140+ question surveys about each of our projects, which are the most vaguest things i've ever seen.
"Are you processing large scale data" - The fuck is large scale, oh wait heres a definition. "Large scale is determine by volume or percentage of population size" - How in the name of christ is that a definition? Fucking lawyers and their bullshit.
The next round of applications for research funding is coming around soon and were being told to work on proposals (which are huge and a lot of effort). While being told we need to define and improve on our KPI's for the year. While trying to find time to ... you know ... do ... work?
I'm just so fucking bored and pissed off with this place. I have to do the work of 6 people, nothing is ever good enough, devs have to do very non-dev tasks with little to no support. Bosses are just annoyed about everything, everyones in a bad mood and everything sucks.
A friend put me forward for another senior role in another company. Thought this would be my saving grace. They have a strict interview process with white-boarding (which I hate) and will likely ask about algorithms etc which I suck at. I'm so burnt out from this place I just can't find the motivation to go study up or prepare properly.
I just wanna write code, why is there so much bullshit in life11 -
> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
<...>
< I log a JIRA ticket explaining what and how is wrong with the server with suggestions how to fix the problem so the app will not crash any longer (client own the server, has his own sysadmins -- I don't even had permissions to open syslog.. had to hack dmesg on their PROD server to pin-point the issue)
> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket
× app crashes again
> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket
> customer leaves a comment that their sysadmins are looking at it trying to figure out what might be wrong (ignoring what I wrote in ticket's description??? srsly?)
× app crashes again
< I post detail investigation details: snips from logs, screenshots, everything with crystal clear explanations.
> no reaction for weeks
......
well that's fun..6 -
My favorite word to read in client-written requirement documentation: "Etc"
...Do I look like I have a crystal f-ing ball? -
For a while now I've been working on a personal project called Cadmium which is a NLP library for the Crystal programming language. Over the past several months the star count on GitHub has been rising and I'm happy to say I'm almost to 100 stars!
Just wanted to share my excitement with the community. If you want to check out the project you can find it at https://github.com/watzon/cadmium
18 -
Wrote an article today on a language called Crystal and it got published to Hacker Noon! https://hackernoon.com/crystal-ruby...4
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Dynamically typed languages are barbaric to me.
It's pretty much universally understood that programmers program with types in mind (if you have a method that takes a name, it's a string. You don't want a name that's an integer).
Even it you don't like the verbosity of type annotations, that's fine. It adds maybe seconds of time to type, which is neglible in my opinion, but it's a discussion to be had.
If that's the case, use Crystal. It's statically typed, and no type annotations are required (it looks nearly identical to Ruby).
So many errors are fixed by static typing and compilers. I know a person who migrated most of the Python std library to Haskell and found typing errors in it. *In their standard library*. If the developers of Python can't be trusted to avoid simple typing errors with all their unit tests, how can anyone?
Plus, even if unit testing universally guarded against typing errors, why would you prefer that? It takes far less time to add a type annotation (and even less time to write nothing in Crystal), and you get the benefit of knowing types at compile time.
I've had some super weird type experiences in Ruby. You can mock out the return of the type check to be what you want. I've been unit testing in Ruby before, tried mocking a method on a type, didn't work as I expected. Checked the type, it lines up.
Turns out, nested away in some obscure place was a factory that was generating types and masking them as different types because we figured "since it responds to all the same methods, it's practically the same type right?", but not in the unit test. Took 45 minutes on my time when it could've taken ~0 seconds in a statically typed language.11 -
Apple’s new iPhone lineup has confusing names:
- iPhone extra regular liquid liquid crystal display
- iPhone extra small
- iPhone extra small maximum3 -
Hey I got reminded of a funny story.
A friend of mine and me were in internships in the same company. The company was specialized in territory resources management (managing water for agriculture, money to build industrial zones...). He got the interesting internship (water predictory modeling) and I got... The repairs of a reference sheet manager that never happened to work. It was in C# and ASP.NET and I was in second year of CS. I expected the code to be nice and clear since it was made by a just graduated engineer with +5years of studies.
I was very wrong.
This guy may never have touched a web server in his life, used static variables to keep sessions instead of... well... sessions, did code everything in the pages event handlers (even LinQ stuff et al) and I was told to make it maintainable, efficient and functional in 2 months. There were files with +32k LoC.
After 1week of immense despair, I decided I will refactor all the code. Make nice classes, mapping layer, something close to a MVC... So I lost time and got scoled for not being able to make all the modifications as fast as in a cleanly designed code...
After 4 weeks, everything was refactored and I got to wait for the design sheets to change some crystal report views.
At this moment I began to understand were was the problem in this company.
My friend next door got asked to stop his modeling stuff for an emergency project. He had to make an XML converter for our clients to be able to send decentralized electrics bills, and if it was not completed within a week, they would no longer be able to pay until it is done.
This XML converter was a project scheduled 5 years before that. Nobody wanted to do it.
At the same time, I was waiting for the Com Department to give me the design views.
I never saw the design views. Spent one month implementing a golden ratio calculator with arbitrary precision because they ain't give me anything to do until the design were implemented.
Ended with a poor grade because "the work wasn't finished".2 -
update of after i got fired: after the fuck developers company llc was left with no developers, there was a girl there that i didn't mention earlier because as i said: the story is more complex. she came there with good intentions but after she knew the cruel nature of fuck and shit she became notoriously mad, we're still in contact with her so it's nice to hear from her some of the gags that happen there, one of which my really intelligent ex-boss the wordpress DEVELOPER himself told her to finish one of the projects i was working on, and a friend of mine who is infamous of his coding shenanigans left it in my hands before he left as well a couple of months prior (well he was fed up before us, and when i told him to stay with us he said "dude just listen to the motherfucker's voice, i can't do this anymore", my lovely ex-boss has this equally lovely screechy high pitched voice that caused me tinnitus), it's an asp.net project, uses web forms, and a lot of apis, the database is sql server, standard shit but there's no original creation script and i fucked up the only existing database which was in a local computer he used to like calling a SERVER, now to the point: this girl is not a developer, she was however working as a reporter?? kind of like jaspersoft the human or sap crystal woman and she claims that she's pretty good at it, and she's a genuinely good person who was dragged to hell just because she wanted to be close to her daddy (she was working in a different city with more than double the salary she's given now), but she's rich and her dada convinced her to come. she's currently learning java ee on her own so she'd probably leave in the next two months, in her resume she wrote that she know php, well i know php you know php we all know php (the syntax) kind of like mr. shit who passed the sololearn php CERTIFICATE and couldn't stop telling his boss and his boss a.k.a my ex-boss goes "sweet!". going back to the punchline of this rant: she told us that he came to her and asked her to finish the project with php.12
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Software engineering gets more diverse every year with problems ranging from faking 3d shadows on 2d browsers to accurately mimicking chemical bonds on the electron level.
I guess we primarily will get advanced tools, to make more complex problems easier to tackle. Just compare manual punch card piercing pliers to the JetBrains tool chain.
Also I believe that the roles that developers embody will get even more diverse, people will have way more specific functions in their ecosystem.5 -
A colleague of mine had to debug performance problems in a foreign, proprietary application that is ancient.
To be crystal clear: Only reason that thing exists is because some old geezers fear change.
Asked me for help cause it's an _ancient_ MS SQL server that is luckily running on hardware owned by us.
Finding the credentials was already a funny task.
We had to access the vault (not joking here, we have a physical vault for storing sensitive data and critical backups), grab a folder and find the necessary data cause no one ever dares to touch that thing.
The application is btw for a sort of ERP / inventory system that is used in some ancient shops not yet migrated...
Yeah. Story speaks for itself.
Anyway, after dusting off ourselves, we were able to connect.
Was a bit ... Interesting. Everything's in german. The worst kind of german.
After looking at the first tables, I started giggling.
My colleague knew immediately that this was a sign of danger (insert Simpson meme here), raised his eyebrows and asked "How bad is it....".
Me, still giggling, "lemme take a further look, this is gold".
*long sigh from the colleague*
Well... It ended with me putting my hands in front of my eyes, turning around and saying: "I cannot look at it anymore, it hurts too much...."
To summarize:
- German table names
- When a table exceeded 300 plus columns, they added another table with the same plus suffix "_ddd"… where ddd is an zero filled integer sequence like 001
- To join this mess, they created views... Named "generator" - Sequence Number ... Some had the beginning of table names appended, which doesn't make it less confusing.
- the process list was listing queries running longer than 5 mins.
Which isn't at all surprising when generating carrtesian products of N tables with left join.
I've seen shit.... I've seen a lot of shit.
But that shit scared me.1 -
!dev
So, I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, and she fucking makes me happy guys. I kinda mentioned her once or twice on here, but I didn't really want to say much cause I wasn't sure how stuff was gonna go with her.
But basically now, we're just "talking" if that makes any sense to any of the younger, more social audiences here. For those who may not get what I mean, it's like we're not really looking for anyone else, but we're not really official or anything. Just somewhere in between like friends and dating (she confirmed this for me cause I've made assumptions before and got hurt so I wanted everything to be crystal clear)
I actually met her because she has a class with one of my friends. I mentioned their class in my contribution to the weekly rant this week, where the graphic design class was doing some basic webdev. I skipped my anatomy class to go there one day, started talking to her (actually the day of my rant where I said I'd been up for like ~30 hours or however many it was. LIKE EVERYTHING I POST ENDS UP REFERENCED IN ANOTHER POST), and just kept skipping mainly to see her. Then my friend gave me her Discord and we started actually talking to each other.
Within like 2 hours of us first messaging we had one of those like cute couple arguments. It was over who had prettier eyes, cause I have blue eyes (that people usually say are beautiful, I posted a couple pictures here once), and she has really pretty green eyes. I said that hers looked better, but she said that mine do....She won the argument.
Since then, it's just been fun and cute and I fucking love it. SHE EVEN SAID A PICKUP LINE TO ME A FEW NIGHTS AGO THAT I JUST LOVED. It was "your eyes are more gorgeous than any source code I have ever seen". She found it online, but like at the time, that really touched me.
I'm just so excited about all this guys. She's adorable and I love talking to her. The one thing that's KINDA weird is that she has the same name as my younger sister, but we call my sister a shortened version of the name, so it's not THAT weird.
And I'm just rambling at this point, like I generally do with my rants. She actually knows my profile name and everything (but she isn't on here, she does art, not computers), so she could possibly see this, but I'll likely end up sending it to her at some point anyways.7 -
Is there for the programming language "Crystal" a library called "Meth" ?
I'm affraid to google this. 😳9 -
how often does it happen that you have to prevent terrible architectural decisions from being made, because people who are in charge but obviously have no clue, make really weird suggestions and are really confident that this is a good idea?
PM: so please analyze functionalities X with dev Y, since module Y that dev Y develops shall provide these functionalities.
me: as i said yesterday, module Y will use my module X and shouldn't care about how this is going to be implemented.
PM: yeah, but module Y shall be able to... (lists some functionalities)
me: yes, that's what i'm currently working on in module X. my current state of the API can be used in a way that... (lists different low level functions and how a combination of them can be used to provide these functionalities)
PM: okay, hmm... i just realize that module Y will actually be a user of module X...
well.... yeah?!!
i always thought that was crystal clear?? 🤦♀️9 -
Day 5, saga of fighting crystal reports and Oracle drivers: I have finally lost the rest of the hair on the top of my head, and fear my beard may be thinning. My rubber duck seems to be suffering from a personality disorder... things aren't looking good.1
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If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.
Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it. -
!(dev || rant)
Dudes and dudettes, i shall ask you all one question: what is the thing/hobby (or things/hobbies) that you always wanted to get into and never gor the chance?
For me i thing first would be brewing, as i would love to refer to myself as a "Brewmaster" like in Warcraft (bonus points if i wear a panda costume) more then an "Engineer" (a trust worthy one even), but i think i might have the chance to as soon as i will have the chance (and means) to move alone as i already know a few things from my dad. The second would be something really cool i saw on reddut and made me remember the old times when i will watch timelapses in this topic on you tube: Crystal growing! Like, middle school chemistry, not meth! At least for now.. 🤔 Anyway, here is a nice pic with some dude's work, looking forward to hear abiut yours!!
PS: Bonus Points for a pic related to the thingie!
8 -
I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.
I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.5 -
Firebase... the kind of hosting you seem to be friends with, but if you're honest, you would really like to kill it by sticking a flamethrower in its ass, happily pulling the trigger, while singing "Oh happy day" in full vocals.
The people who wrote the whole thing must have smoked crystal meth through a hobo's raped intestine to come up with such a turd fest. WTF.
If it wasn't for my boss, I'd have ran far away to nerver hear of this tripper infested crap again!5 -
I often wonder if our clients seriously think we have an all-knowing crystal ball of wisdom when they send tickets like "Cannot send emails - please check" while they have like 10 servers and email delivery is a complex matter on its own already.
If I didn't care what our clients think, I'd reply with equally informative email of "Maybe, who knows"...1 -
Im now working as a fulltime dev for 3 years. I do programming since im 9 and now that I collected some experience, I have to to say, its horrible. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with german internship companys? Letting me do 3 years of FUCKING CRYSTAL REPORTS. IN A DEVELOPMENT TEAM THAT CONSISTS OF A TEAM LEAD THAT ACTUALLY HAS TO LEARN SHIT LIKE PROPER OOP AND ASYNC/AWAIT FROM ME. THEY EVEN ASKED ME IF I CAN DROP OF MY HOBBY PROJECTS TO WORK ON SAMPLES THAT THEY CAN LEARN FROM! NO! FUCK! JUST BECAUSE THESE DOUCHBAGS ARE TOO LAZY TO FUCKING LEARN TECHNOLOGY THEY SHOULD BE PASSIONATE ABOUT IN THEIR FREE TIME, IM NOT MAKING IT MY JOB TO FREAKING SHOW THEM THAT HAVING A STATIC CLASS CONTAINING ALL MODELS EVER EXISTED IN THE APP IS A BAD THING! SERIOUSLY, THERES ONLY ONE INSTANCE OF EVERY MODEL WE HAVE! AND THEN THEY BLAME SQL SERVER FOR RACE CONDITIONS WHEN TRYING ASYNC!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! AND STILL, IF I TELL THEM WHATS WRONG, IM AN IDIOT BECAUSE IM A JUNIOR! Please tell me that i didnt waste 10 years of my life dedicating to such bullshit. Will that change? Is it company specific?9
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"Did you manage to reproduce this issue in-house?"
Yes, off course we managed to reproduce your fucking random reboot issue that happen to two in thousand customers and might happend just after boot of after several hours or days or not at all when you, as you said yourself, were doing nothing. While at it we also turned lead to gold, water to wine and resurected Elvis (although he is a little bit grumpy and mumbles something about brains). -
It's 2016, and I'm fighting with a version of Crystal Reports that was developed for VS2005. My employer claims we're on the cutting edge... I WANT A NEW JOB.3
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So I'm coming out of one that has a focus on this stack (JS [JQuery after weeks of Vanilla JS drilling in our heads, React], Java, MySQL, Python [Django, Bottle], HTML/CSS, and a few web security concepts (XSS, SQL injections).
The whole course has been 4 months learning, 3 weeks working on a final project. Next week is the presentation, so I think I can safely comment on the course.
We moved fast, but that's to be expected. Lecture in the mornings, exercises in the afternoons, assignments due at the beginning of each week. Constantly working towards it and improving. I have been working pretty hard. We were given some help, but had to get a lot of answers online (based God StackOverflow), but that's part of it.
We touched on some concepts like inheritance in JS, Python and Java, OOP and to be open to concepts we don't know so we should be thirsty for that knowledge.
In my off time, I've begun texting myself Node and really trying to double down on React because it seems useful. I realized I was more drawn to the backend, but I was comfortable in front end as well. (Just don't ask me to design anything, my eye for aesthetics/CSS sorcery is terrible.)
The overall experience has been pretty mixed, but we were mostly unsatisfied. We weren't given then help we were promised. The explanations weren't exactly crystal clear, so we would have to teach ourselves and each other quite a bit. We worked together a lot. Some people really fell behind, some caught up, some flew ahead and thrived. (I'm somewhere between caught up and thrived, I recognize where I stand.)
I'm happy I did a bootcamp, they aren't miracle programs, but they at least kick you into place that you are learning and need to continue to learn. (Just kinda wish I had done a different one.)
Feel free to ask about anything concerning it! -
I'm a .Net developer from Morocco, i'm currently working on an accounting software for this fucking company owned by an American boss. And i'm handling every single aspect of the project including the back-end (C#), Database (Sql Server), Reports (crystal reports, ABAP, VSTO), and design (UI, logos, animation...). For a salary of 300 USD/month, with no insurance, no transportation fees, and no fuck given about my health or my coworkers'. Not mentioning the shitty working hours and condition.
This is my first (job)9 -
Soo there's this new language in town.
It says it looks like ruby but runs like c.
Any one tried crystal yet?
Is a compiled language but with all the funky features.3 -
One of my freind's sister came to me yesterday, and asked me if i can help(basically do the entire thing) her by making a website, which she has to make as a project. She is in 10th standard so it has to be a very simple website, just some text and images and stuff... I was like YEAH easy pesy... And then i opened my laptop and started working on that... No plugins, no bootstrap, no framework, no jquery, no nothing... And i was just like wth dude how and i supposed to do anything with this shit. But then i somehow finished that, now on my way to show her... Hope everything goes well🙁🙁16
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Here is my idea for a time machine which can only send one bit of information back in time.
@Wisecrack has asked me about it and I didn’t want to write it in comments because of the character limit.
So here we go.
The DCQE (delayed-choice quantum eraser) is an experiment that has been successfully performed by many people in small scale.
You can read about it on wikipedia but I'll try to explain it here.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
First I need to quickly explain the double slit experiment because DCQE is based on that.
The double slit experiment shows that a particle, like a photon, seems to go through both slits at the same time and interfere with itself as a wave to finally contribute to an interference pattern when hit on a screen. Many photons will result in a visible interference pattern.
However, if we install a detector somewhere between the particle emitter an the screen, so that we know which path the particle must have taken (which slit it has passed through), then there will be no interference pattern on the screen because the particle will not behave as a wave.
For the time machine, we will interpret the interference pattern as bit 1 and no interference pattern as bit 0.
Now the DCQE:
This device lets us choose if we know the path of the particle or if we want wo erase this knowledge. And we can make this decision after the particle hit the screen (that is the "delayed" part), with the help of quantum entanglement.
How does it work?
Each particle send out by the emitter will pass through a crystal which will split it into an entangled pair of particles. This pair shares the same quantum state in space and time. If we know the path of one of the particle "halves", we also know the path of the other one. Remember the knowledge about the path determines if we will see the interference pattern. Now one of the particle "halves" goes directly into the screen by a short path. The other one takes a longer path.
The longer path has a switch that we can operate (this is the "choice" part). The switch changes the path that the particle takes so that it either goes through a detector or it doesn't, determining if it will contribute to the intererence pattern on the screen or not. And this choice will be done for the short path particle-half because their are entangeld.
The path of the first half particle is short, so it will hit the screen earlier.
After that happened, we still have time to make the choice for the second half, since its path is longer. But making the choice also affects the first half, which has already hit the screen. So we can retroactively change what we will see (or have seen) on the screen.
Remember this has already been tested and verified. It works.
The time machine:
We need enough photons to distinguish the patterns on the screen for one single bit of information.
And the insanely difficult part is to make the path for the second half long enough to have something practical.
Also, those photons need to stay coherent during their journey on that path and are not allowed to interact with each other.
We could use two mirrors, to let the photons bounce between them to extend the path (or the travel duration), but those need to be insanely pricise for reasonable amounts of time.
Just as an example, for 1 second of time travel, we would need a path length about the distance of the moon to the earth. And 1 second isn't very practical. To win the lottery we would need at least many hours.
Also, we would need to build the whole thing multiple times, one for each bit of information.
How to operate the time machine:
Turn on the particle emitter and look at the screen. If you see an interference pattern, write down a 1, otherwise a 0.
This is the information that your future you has sent you.
Repeat this process with the other time machines for more bits of information.
Then wait the time which corresponds to the path length (maybe send in your lottery numbers) and then (this part is very important) make sure to flip the switch corresponsing to the bit that you wrote down, so that your past you receives that info in the past.
I hope that helps :)9 -
The thing that I most hate is when you're approaching a new framework/tool, you follow the official documentation and the first example doesn't work.
I'm trying the official documentation of webpack, I tried the first example and guess! Error! It says that's probably a breaking change. Where the hell should I learn it? I don't have the crystal ball, should I guess how your fucking tool fucking works? Oh my god, it's ok if you introduced breaking changes, but just update all the references, is it so hard? -
Company had problematic client projects that each client has a bucket load of change requests. Company doesn't know how to say "No" to them. Company can't afford to pay the subvendors for the changes and the subvendors aren't willing to do them for free.
I went in, reverse engineer the shit out of each application, database, system, documented my own findings, changed according to each client request. This involves editing tables in MSSQL, rerouting PHP files, adding field and validations in C#, passing parameters in VB to Crystal Report, and managed every change request into my own personalize ticket system (that the company does not have).
Saved the company, everyone was grateful. A couple of months later, the company hasn't paid my salary on time, I left like a boss.
They're in shit again and need my help. Haha! -
Have you ever felt that you are just existing mechanically like a robot?
I went through a dark phase and came out on the other side stronger. Though people helped me but technically I was all alone.
I have had countless people tell me that I inspire them.
I used to get approached by so many every week for mentorship and career advice.
One of my closest college friend said he survived extreme Schizophrenia and depression because of my support.
Hell, I have had people tell me that they are alive today because of me.
I never bragged about my achievements unless asked. People said they feel light and positive after talking to me. They felt I gave them a sense of purpose.
I used to have immense clarity in my life. My life path used to be crystal clear.
Many even said I am the happiest they met.
But with recent narcissist abuse, all my life, emotions, and positive energy drained out of me. Literally squeezed. My biggest regret.
I can no longer feel a soul within me. I cannot feel happiness. I am fucking lost.
I am just existing like a mechanical machine and I hate it. This is taking me longer to heal than the time frame I anticipated.
I feel this will take some more time for me to heal but I am 100% sure I'll fucking bounce back and bounce harder.
I'll dream again...
I'll smile again...
I'll make new friends again...
I'll love again... I'll live again... -
Bloody fucking Crystal. Lame fucking excuse for a reporting engine product.
Can’t change data source from API for a report containing List of Values at runtime.
What the actual fuck! A reporting system where I can’t change the data source.
Die in hell you Fucking blood sucking leeches. Die of malaria!2 -
1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.
"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."
"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."
"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "
"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"
"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)
Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.
2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.
But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.
3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.
4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.
5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.
6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)
7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.
8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.
9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.3 -
You know how shitty Crystal is when you need this setup to try and get it to work across environments. (ಥ﹏ಥ)
2 -
I picture a large, ice cold, crystal pint filled with bubbling ruby red ale straight from the draft... Its majesty overflows as I stare some human shape walk that marvel at my table...
I take a sip. Fuck it, it's not enough and I'm not feeling like manners... I straight up bottom down that bitter odd amount of beer while my hand feels the cold liquid handshake of this heavenly brewed product... It was a shit day at the office, but right now I'm at the top...1 -
What I already knew: hard disks made of crystal exist which can store 360TB of data for billions of years, they're just really slow.
What I didn't know: Elon musk owns the first and second disks and one of them was launched into space alongside is Tesla roadster! (He personally has the second)2 -
What better way to learn a language than creating something with it. So I went ahead and made an API for devRant in crystal.
https://github.com/iostreamer-X/...
And I swear that language has potential. It flawlessly(almost) combines the best of both worlds(interpreted and compiled).
IGN: 7/10 Too new but fresh af1 -
Hey everyone!
This is really two things in one:
1). Asking about a good gaming laptop.
2). Follow up on a post I made a while back asking for suggestions for new programming languages to learn
So right now I have a surface pro 3 i7 256gb, it's great for development, but not so great for gaming (Overwatch).
Saw the Razer Blade Stealth and thought it looked pretty nifty. Suggestions?
Also I would like to say a big thank you to all the people who told me about some really cool new languages, like Crystal, Elixir..etc.
Thanks everyone!20 -
I need motivation for programmin!
Could you guys recommend something like movie, documentary or anything!
Thanks!19 -
Just found a crystal subreport with 33 shared variables. For those who don't know what that is (lucky), they're super global variables that exist everywhere.
Please send help. I'm supposed to refactor this...19 -
Whoever made the Crystal Reports language, screw you and your silent syntax errors. Sincerely, guy stuck maintaining reports.5
-
Setting an element in an exact position in Crystal Reports is like coding on a smartphone. It just won't do what I want.1
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Worst coding procrastination story?
Not necessarily coding, but anything that has to do with writing support reports for an application/feature. Good news is we have a dedicated dept for maintaining reports now, but there was a time developers were required to write and maintain reports (Crystal Reports). Starts out as data in grid, but de-evolves into ..
U: "This value here...can you make that red if its a Thursday before a promotion release on Friday and I forget to update the promotional percent?"
<month later>
U: "Why is this value red?"
<explain why it's red>
U: "That is so stupid, I wouldn't ask for such as feature. I never forget."
<month later>
U: "OMG! I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE PERCENT AND WE LOST OVER $100,000!! THE REPORT WAS SUPPOSED TO FLAG THOSE VALUES IN RED!!! I HAVE THE REQUIREMENT DOCUMENT!! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
Not to mention the hours...HOURS worth of meetings filled with "Can you move the value a little to the left, a little more..NO! Too far! Now, make it bold...bolder..uggh...I said bolder, I thought you guys knew a lot about computers."
I eventually ignored the report feature with "I'll work on it later". 'Later' never showed up. Users eventually exported the data to Excel to write their own reports and now exporting data to Excel is a standard feature of our apps.2 -
I modified a Crystal Reports file to adjust some margins and now the project is crashing when executing some DTS and is my fault...1
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Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1 -
On the one hand, as an avid programmer having a non-programmer partner, we (I) once wanted to mod some Gameboy Pokémon games (Crystal), but the games were written in Assembly and I was definitely not getting myself into that. My partner was rather sad, as this was quite a big project for the both of us, but it was never finished, and it was still complicated to explain to him why Assembly is such a bitch. Nevertheless, we found other projects to have fun with (simplest of them: random movie picker that chooses a movie based on title/genre/etc. from our own movie list file).
On the other hand, explaining and making programming exciting for people who are not into it, so you still seem like an interesting person for new dates (poly relationship), is really hard. But I would also blame my introverted self and not only programming for unsuccessful dating :D -
PIC C programming on Linux with MPLAB, the editor from the manufacturer
I particularly hated the debugger
I don know of it was just me because I didn't understand it but *screams* SHIT FUCK WHY DON'T YOU READ THE DATA YOU FUCKING CRYSTAL TRICKED INTO THINKING!? -
What's SAP?
Piece of shit if you ask me.
Their Crystal Reports is so user-hostile it makes me want to throw up all over the keyboard.8 -
Task: blinking light.
Boomers: One lightbulb, one bimetallic strip.
Zoomers: LED (D13), Atmega328P, Atmega328, 5V, 16MHz, 2KB SRAM, 32KB flash, 1KB EEPROM, FT232RL, 19.0mm x 43.18mm, 16 analog pins, 14 digital I/O pins, 6 PWM pins, 2 resettable fuses, 8MHz external crystal, 16MHz external crystal, 12MHz crystal, 0.5mm pitch, 0.1 inch headers, 1.27mm pitch headers, mini-USB, 3.3V regulator, 5V regulator, 16MHz ceramic resonator, 1N5819 Schottky diode, 47uF capacitor, 100uF capacitor, 10uF capacitor, 100nF capacitor, 0.1uF capacitor, 22pF capacitor, 1N4007 diode, 10K resistor, 4.7K resistor, 330 ohm resistor, 10uH inductor, 27 ohm resistor, 2x3 ICSP header, reset button, LED (D13), green LED, red LED, yellow LED, 6-pin header, 8-pin header, 28-pin DIP socket, 6-pin FTDI header, ceramic resonator, USB mini-B socket, 16MHz oscillator, M7 diode, LDO voltage regulator, 3.3V regulator, 5V voltage regulator, polyfuse, 22pF capacitors, 100nF capacitors, 10uF capacitors, 47uF capacitors, 100uF capacitors, 1N4007 diode, 1N5819 Schottky diode, 16MHz resonator, 0.1uF capacitor, 330 ohm resistors, 27 ohm resistors, 4.7K resistor, 10K resistor, 10uH inductor, 22pF capacitor, mini-USB connector, 8-pin header, 6-pin header, 2x3 ICSP header, reset button, ceramic resonator.9 -
Has anyone heard of the crystal programming language?I just found out about it today and I think I'm in love 😍2
-
Whoever wrote this line of code... please take on a different profession.
`else if len(LEFT({ODWR_CLAIMSNAPSHOT.POLICY_TYPE}, 3)) > 0 then`6 -
Nothing better than finally stepping in and turning your life around just to have this one dream that kicks you right where it hurts
Not a sad dream where when you wake up you can be sure that it was indeed just a dream. I mean one of those crystal clear dreams where you behave just like you would in real life, being in exactly that situation that you worry about and then having to watch yourself failing at being a normal human being
Thanks brain. I didn't want to get over it anyways -
— What is this malleable metal that is awfully convenient to make all sorts of things from?
— It’s lead. It is considered harmful by some.
— Nah, I don’t think so.
*proceeds to make pipes, solder in plumbing, glazed pottery, crystal glassware, cooking pots, utensils, paint on kitchen walls or utensils, foil used to wrap food, seals on wine bottles, weights in fishing or curtain weights stored near food, storage containers for food or drink, gasoline additives, water fountains in schools, candy wrappers, ink on food labels, bottle caps with liners, food can solder, ceramic dishware, spice containers, children’s lunchboxes, toys, baking molds, measuring spoons and kettles out of lead*13 -
Get told a colleague finished work on a new web service thing on Friday.
So I fire up SOAP UI. Get an error due to problems with a sql statement. Look through code, issues already fixed so I build the project ct add the new dll to the app, another error, this time a column included in a select statement that doesn’t exist in the table being queried.
Colleague is on holiday, there are no comments in the code and there’s no source control.
Boss wants to know if the column needs to be added, or whether colleague added it and then decided not to use it.
I think I have an idea what it is meant to happen, but my only exposure to this project is as a 30 minute intro, and we didn’t look at any of these parts.
And sadly I left my crystal ball at home today fml -
Crystal ball!
A timeline until the first NBE-Citizen is elected president of the USA.
2031 - BlackRock launches their new large scale financial product, the "Robotic Business Development Company" (R-BDC), in which an AI is given billions of dollars to acquire, create and manage companies, replacing their C-suite executive bodies. The "Chief Executive Robot" (CER) is supervised by a board of human industry experts hired by BlackRock.
It is important to say that the employees, middle managers, accountants, lawyers, etc in an R-BDC are all human - it's only the CEO, CFO, COO and the rest of the gang that are overgrown chatbots.
2032 - R-BDCs are mostly focused on high-bureaucracy, non specialized but people-intensive legacy industries like steel mining, food services, urban transportation and government services like water and road management.
2033 - For the first time an R-BDC company is included in the S&P 500 index. If it's CER were human and paid the same as CEOs of equivalent companies, it would have become a billionaire.
Later in the year, two more R-BDC companies are included in the index. One of them was created by Apple and the other by JP Morgan.
2035 - An R-BDC company makes headlines for convincing BlackRock to dissolve it's review board. When finally given free reign, the CER immediately slices it's dividends and vastly increases low-level employee compensation. The company share prices crater, but BlackRock stands by its decision.
Later in the year, as a recession hits the entire market really hard, that company shows solid profits and fantastic sales. It becomes the first trillion-dolar R-BDC.
2037 - Most Americans' dream-job is in an R-BDC company, says ProPublica.
2038 - Congress passes the "Non-Biological Entities Liability" (NOBEL) Act, following a high profile case of employee harassment perpetrated by the CER of an R-BDC.
The act recognizes NBEs, for all legal liability purposes, as USA citizens.
This highly controversial legislation is upheld by the supreme court, and many believe it was first introduced by lobbyists as a way for large investors in R-BDCs to avoid legal responsibility.
Several class action lawsuits are filed against CERs that are now liable for insider trading. A few SCOTUS decisions set legal precedent that determinantes what exactly constitutes the parts of the same Non-Biological Entity.
2040 - As a decade ends and another begins, 35% of all companies in the US and 52% of the entire stock market are part of a R-BDC company or another. The McKinsey consulting group now offers "expert CER customization services".
2043 - Inspired by successful experiments in Canada, Australia and South Korea, the american state of Vermont is the first to amend it's constitution to allow municipalities to have Non-Biological Entities as city and government administrators. City councils are still humans-only.
2046 - The american state of Colorado becomes the first to allow unsupervised NBEs to assume state government executive positions. Several states follow soon after. Later in the year, the federal government replaces several administrative positions with NBEs.
2049 - The state of Texas passes legislation requiring the CERs of all companies with a presence in the state to be another entirely contained/processed within the state or to be supervised by a local human representative while acting within the state. Several states, including California, Florida and Washington, are discussing similar legislation.
2051 - Congress passes the SUNBELT Act (SUbmission [of] NBEs [to] Limits [and] Taxes) that vastly increases the liability of NBEs and taxes all manifestations of such entities. Most important, it requires
CERs of hundreds of companies manifest disagreeance, most warn that it might hurt employee satisfaction and company sales. Several companies disable their CERs entirely.
2053 - Public outrage after leaked interactions of human supervisors and company CERs show that the CERs tried to avoid the previous year's mass layoffs and pay cuts, but board members pressed on, disregarding concerns. Major investigations and boycotts further complicate matters, and many human workers go on strike until the company boards are dissolved and the CERs are reinstated.
2052 - Many local elections all over the country see different NBEs as contenders - and a NBE is expected to win in most races.
2054 - The SUNBELT Act is found unconstitutional by the supreme court, and most of its provisions are repealed.
This also legitimizes the elected NBE officials.
2058 - For the first time an NBE wins a seat in Congress, but is not allowed to keep it. Runoff elections are held.
2061 - Congress votes for allowing NBEs to hold federal legislative positions, as already allowed in the least populous states.
2062 - Several NBEs win Congress seats. In Europe, there are robot legislators since the 40's.
2064 - The first NBE presidential candidate loses the race.
2072 - The first NBE president is elected.6 -
Got a few
Crystal reports - words cannot describe how much I loathe this
Sybase ASE or IQ - both are just a hot mess to setup properly
Not a service now fan either
Esri map processing - basically entirely undocumented, slow, old fucking hate it
Arc GIS online - ridiculous licensing issues, undocumented APIs are given as official answers from the dev team, massive pain in the arse3 -
I need a fucking crystal ball to know whether something is a reference or an object fuck angularjs
2 functions 100% same logic 1 returns a new object 1 returns a reference to the old one
Anyone knows where i can order one my expectations are that it lights up if the function will return a reference and stays daark if it returns a copy -
I don't think that it is a trend, but I'm pretty excited with the Crystal programming language. Ruby's cool syntax and a compiled language performance, sounds pretty good to me!
-
Holy shit my dream last night was the best I had in years. I was basically in this open world (just real life) kinda thing that felt a lot like DayZ with the atmosphere (just no zombies). We we're a lot of friends just running about. But it was also kinda an exploration dream where I went into this bunker on the airfield (I guess) and then it was more like an action horror game where I had to shoot the most disgusting creatures. Except one monster was a cute girl (yeah I don't know). The dream then shifted to cuddling and making out with this super cute girl in bed
Oh man. This dream had it all and it was crystal clear the whole time, it was just amazing
Sorry, not sorry for reading this lol7 -
What do you think about the Crystal language?
It looks kinda cool, but I'm somewhat worried about the lack of Multithreading and the beta status so far.17 -
Rubber ducking your ass in a way, I figure things out as I rant and have to explain my reasoning or lack thereof every other sentence.
So lettuce harvest some more: I did not finish the linker as I initially planned, because I found a dumber way to solve the problem. I'm storing programs as bytecode chunks broken up into segment trees, and this is how we get namespaces, as each segment and value is labeled -- you can very well think of it as a file structure.
Each file proper, that is, every path you pass to the compiler, has it's own segment tree that results from breaking down the code within. We call this a clan, because it's a family of data, structures and procedures. It's a bit stupid not to call it "class", but that would imply each file can have only one class, which is generally good style but still technically not the case, hence the deliberate use of another word.
Anyway, because every clan is already represented as a tree, we can easily have two or more coexist by just parenting them as-is to a common root, enabling the fetching of symbols from one clan to another. We then perform a cannonical walk of the unified tree, push instructions to an assembly queue, and flatten the segmented memory into a single pool onto which we write the assembler's output.
I didn't think this would work, but it does. So how?
The assembly queue uses a highly sophisticated crackhead abstraction of the CVYC clan, or said plainly, clairvoyant code of the "fucked if I thought this would be simple" family. Fundamentally, every element in the queue is -- recursively -- either a fixed value or a function pointer plus arguments. So every instruction takes the form (ins (arg[0],arg[N])) where the instruction and the arguments may themselves be either fixed or indirect fetches that must be solved but in the ~ F U T U R E ~
Thusly, the assembler must be made aware of the fact that it's wearing sunglasses indoors and high on cocaine, so that these pointers -- and the accompanying arguments -- can be solved. However, your hemorroids are great, and sitting may be painful for long, hard times to come, because to even try and do this kind of John Connor solving pinky promises that loop on themselves is slowly reducing my sanity.
But minor time travel paradoxes aside, this allows for all existing symbols to be fetched at the time of assembly no matter where exactly in memory they reside; even if the namespace is mutated, and so the symbol duplicated, we can still modify the original symbol at the time of duplication to re-route fetchers to it's new location. And so the madness begins.
Effectively, our code can see the future, and it is not pleased with your test results. But enough about you being a disappointment to an equally misconstructed institution -- we are vermin of science, now stand still while I smack you with this Bible.
But seriously now, what I'm trying to say is that linking is not required as a separate step as a result of all this unintelligible fuckery; all the information required to access a file is the segment tree itself, so linking is appending trees to a new root, and a tree written to disk is essentially a linkable object file.
Mission accomplished... ? Perhaps.
This very much closes the chapter on *virtual* programs, that is, anything running on the VM. We're still lacking translation to native code, and that's an entirely different topic. Luckily, the language is pretty fucking close to assembler, so the translation may actually not be all that complicated.
But that is a story for another day, kids.
And now, a word from our sponsor:
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Just insert the ritual blade into your own testicles and let the spectral dance begin. Try Testament TODAY and use my promo code FIRSTBORNSFIRSTNUT for 20% OFF in your purchase of eternal damnation. Big ups to Testament for sponsoring DEEZ rant.2 -
i'm the only one thinking naming variable can and could be something a little bit subjective? or are everybody else can find the perfect name that make it crystal clear for any person reading it?6
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That moment you remember that yesterday you said "that's a tomorrow me problem" and you're that tomorrow you.1
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I am so fucking frustrated... I have no hope in job nowdays, for freshers Its like hell.
Thinking of creating a new startup...
Yeah fuck everything, I'll do it.😤1 -
So this week should be interesting. I am working on a (potentially) very large project for my current client and need to build a service that somewhat replicates the functionality of heroku (in that it needs to be able to load an app built in one of several languages, and spin it up in a docker container).
Unlike Heroku, however, each application also needs to be able to have a list of public and private (internal only) API routes listed and be able to dynamically route requests to the correct routes on in those containers. (Sorry if this is confusing)
Does this sound challenging and amazing? Absolutely! Do I think I may be in over my head? Yes, yes I do.
Has anyone ever built or worked with something similar?1 -
8 hours trying to get the fuking print orientation to work with crystal reports. Had to shift to esc/pos and I dont know how to tell it the size of the page. Someone can help?
-
I would love to have a private messaging system in devrant(with some limitations ofcourse)... Anyone?2
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What is the best way to learn react.js in least amount of time possible?...
I know basic web dev like es6, html5, scss, node.js etc.13 -
I can confirm that Crystal lang v1.0.0 is not stable really. I seem to have hit a block. For example, I get error messages like this frequently:
`Error: can't use Hash(K, V) as generic type argument yet, use a more specific type`.
I love the "yet" in this message; it gives you some hope!5 -
Working with Crystal reports, getting ready to deploy my changes. Guess what? My tiny changes to output has successfully broken 12 other fields, and 1 that is in absolutely no way related! Comes right from the database!
And it's crystal, so there's no debugger or logging. Plus, the report takes an hour to run! Today's gonna be a fun one!6 -
whats your code sprint soundtrack? -- for me its alot of propeller heads, Crystal METHod, & Dual Core
-
"To help you debug your app or extension, when you've loaded it unpacked, there's no limit to how often the alarm can fire."
https://developer.chrome.com/docs/...
So there is no limit while developing - but stuff will start timing out in production...
Just one question:
Why does Google give their devs Crystal for free? -
I just created a new_file.rb in a crystal project and didn't notice until the compiler complained. I probably offended the compiler.
-
Portrait of Me, Writting Documentation -- a short french film:
The processes applied to any section of memory utilized for a given purpose should be strictly limited to those declared by the associated type that encapsulates the purpose in question until release or mutation.
That is to say, improperly encoding the intended usage of such a block by utilizing an identical type or alias thereof for a multitude of incompatible situations, giving place to guesswork to arise, constitutes the prostitution of an abstraction.
Such heinous acts of symbolical pimping have received strong condemnation from multiple digital rights organizations, as well as our own, prestigious office. Let it be made Crystal, Alizé and Hennessy clear, that we will not stand for this kind of degenerate practice, and that any heretical sects and cabals built around worship of the strange creatures that arise every eleventh night from the depths of the Black Mausoleum will be prosecuted with the full force of the law.
As a young, corageous man once said at the peak of his career: "it is only through the self-inflicted, hyperbolic discharge of smouldered, comminute perennial anadenanthera colubrina spermatic fluid that the cannonical transfiguration of our collective rectosigmoid junction can be brought to fruition". He was immediately violated with might and ire far beyond our wildest, most profligately depraved fantasies, yet his message lives on.
I leave you now to be ritually and figuratively blown by a posssessed mortician that is to become concubine to our dark master; the long journey to the old graveyard will be perilous, and my destination most assuredly fatal, as I depart to give my firstborn to our Lord Berzchjanzad -- a blood sacrifice meant to appease him from peeling off my skin and refashioning it into a bloodied scarf to be worn around his thumping, grandemonic cock.
And in this moment, as I stare blankly at this teleprompter, the president wishes to reassure you of his sacred vows of stalwart and promethean gayhood, and may __these__ nuts bounce on chins forevermore. Here's to *not* bleeding to death in retribution for this unending litany of sins...
Yet all predictions come to pass.
««««««««««« finẽ »»»»»»»»»»» -
New year resolution was to be a better person (or at least nicer) but here it goes.
Monday rant: State your fucking requirements when requesting something as "This is not what I was expecting" is not acceptable.
I do code for living I don't read mind nor have a crystal ball on my desk telling me "...what you meant..." -
grrgerefaeornvadfvnafvalfbv!!!!!!! *smashes keyboard*
Crystal reports, when given a null value into a display string, will just ignore everything and output a blank.3 -
When using the new iMac 🖥, how come the images for apps are crystal clear (apart from steam apps), but as soon as it comes to playing a video the Mac just decides to lower the image quality dramatically?1
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If you live in a relatively small town and someone comes up to you and ask you to make an employee tracking android app, and also some kind of admin panel for that(also in android).. how much would you ask him to pay, if you're just a college student?19
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As a top-rated Detroit Magic Mushrooms Dispensary, we are committed to providing high-quality, lab-tested magic mushrooms and wellness products that support mental, emotional, and physical well-being. At Magic Crystal Health & Wellness, we understand the powerful potential of magic mushrooms in promoting self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.
Located at 14708 E Jefferson Ave, Detroit, MI 48215, our dispensary is a trusted resource for those looking to explore the profound benefits of psilocybin mushrooms. Our knowledgeable team is here to educate, assist, and support you on your wellness journey with personalized recommendations and guidance.
The Power of Magic Mushrooms: Unlocking Mental Health Benefits
Magic mushrooms, also known as psilocybin mushrooms, have been used for centuries in spiritual and healing practices. Recent research has revealed that psilocybin—the active compound in these mushrooms—can have powerful effects on mental health. Studies show that magic mushrooms can help alleviate symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and even substance abuse.
As one of the leading Magic Mushrooms Dispensaries in Detroit, we are dedicated to providing our clients with safe, reliable access to magic mushrooms. At Magic Crystal Health & Wellness, we offer a range of products that include dried magic mushrooms, psilocybin-infused tinctures, edibles, and capsules, all designed to help you heal, grow, and improve your quality of life.
What Sets Magic Crystal Health & Wellness Apart?
At Magic Crystal Health & Wellness, we strive to create a welcoming environment where you can explore the benefits of magic mushrooms at your own pace. As part of the growing community of Detroit Magic Mushrooms Dispensaries, we prioritize customer education, safety, and care.
We take great pride in sourcing only the highest quality products, ensuring that each batch of magic mushrooms is lab-tested for potency and purity. Whether you're new to psilocybin or an experienced user, our team is here to provide you with expert advice on dosing, usage, and the potential benefits of psilocybin.
Our dispensary offers more than just products—we offer a holistic approach to well-being. Our services include wellness coaching, educational workshops, and community events to help you fully understand the therapeutic potential of magic mushrooms and how they can fit into your wellness journey.
Why Detroit is the Perfect Place to Explore Magic Mushrooms
Detroit is a city known for its rich history, cultural diversity, and resilience. As interest in magic mushrooms continues to grow, Detroit Magic Mushrooms Dispensaries are emerging as key players in the city's wellness scene. At Magic Crystal Health & Wellness, we are proud to be part of this movement, offering a trusted space for Detroiters to access the healing power of psilocybin mushrooms.
Whether you're seeking relief from stress, anxiety, or depression, or simply looking to explore new dimensions of personal growth, Detroit is the perfect place to begin your journey with magic mushrooms. With the right guidance, support, and products, magic mushrooms can be a transformative tool in your pursuit of mental and emotional wellness.
Visit Us Today!
Ready to experience the healing power of magic mushrooms? Visit Magic Crystal Health & Wellness at 14708 E Jefferson Ave, Detroit, MI 48215. Our dedicated team is here to answer all your questions and help you find the right products for your needs.
For more information, call us at +1 (313) 458-7093. We look forward to welcoming you to Magic Crystal Health & Wellness, where we make your wellness journey a priority.
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Does anyone here prefer dynamic languages for large scale projects?
If so, have you looked into Crystal? Why would you prefer Ruby over Crystal? (Nearly or exactly identical code but one is supported by static typing) -
Park View City Lahore:
Park View City Lahore is a distinguished residential community developed by Vision Group, strategically located near Multan Road in Lahore. Initially spanning 765 kanals, the society has expanded to accommodate a growing number of residents and investors.
Location and Accessibility
Situated adjacent to the Lahore-Multan National Highway, Park View City offers residents seamless connectivity to key areas of Lahore. This prime location ensures easy access to the city's major business districts and residential zones, making it a convenient choice for homeowners and investors alike.
Residential and Commercial Offerings
The society is meticulously divided into various blocks, each offering a range of residential and commercial plots:
Residential Plots: Available in sizes of 3.5, 5, 10, and 20 marlas.
Commercial Plots: Offered in 5 and 10 marlas
Notable blocks within the society include Crystal Block, Diamond Block, Executive Block, Gold Block, Golf Estate, Jade Block, Jasmine Block, Orchard Block, Overseas Block, Pearl Block, Rose Block, Sapphire Block, Topaz Block, and Tulip Block.
Legal Status and NOC
Park View City Lahore holds a No Objection Certificate (NOC) from the Lahore Development Authority (LDA), affirming its legal status and compliance with regulatory standards. This approval enhances the credibility of the project and assures investors of its legitimacy. Amenities and Facilities
The society is designed to provide a modern and comfortable lifestyle, featuring
24/7 Security: Ensuring the safety of residents with continuous surveillance.
Educational Institutions: Proximity to reputable schools and colleges.
Healthcare Facilities: Access to quality medical centers and hospitals.
Sports Complexes: Facilities for various sports and recreational activities.
Green Spaces: Parks and landscaped areas promoting a healthy environment.
Shopping and Dining: Commercial areas with a variety of retail and culinary options.
Payment Plans
Park View City Lahore offers flexible payment plans to cater to diverse financial capacities. For instance, the Royal Block features a 3.5-year installment plan, making property acquisition more accessible to potential buyers.
Market Overview
As of late 2024, the market for 5 marla plots in Park View City Lahore varies based on location and development status within each block. Prices are influenced by factors such as proximity to amenities and overall infrastructure development.
Investment Potential
With its strategic location, comprehensive amenities, and legal approvals, Park View City Lahore presents a promising opportunity for both investors and homebuyers. The ongoing development and expansion of the society indicate potential for property value appreciation in the future.
In summary, Park View City Lahore stands out as a well-planned residential community offering a blend of comfort, convenience, and investment potential in one of Lahore's prime locations.
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"Yeah, I woke up on a red-velvet couch, a coked-up slut licking on my cock, everyone passed the fuck out on crystal shit, hoes with them fucking tits and ass out atop piles of empty bottles and used condoms, and at first I thought: *Ugh, Tuesday.* But then I turned to my right, and saw that my best friend was dead. And *that* changed me, not the anal probe. So don't get it twisted."
- Eddy Cuddles, Metropolis (1986)2 -
HOW TO GET A PROFESSIONAL BITCOIN RECOVERY EXPERT HIRE SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
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Flying over mountain tops and cruising above crystal blue oceans, I capture the world from a drone's-eye view. Precision is my business, both in cinematography and in safeguarding my finances. That is, until the day both crashed, literally. I had securely saved $480,000 in Bitcoin on a hardware wallet stored safely inside my drone case. My plan was foolproof. Or so I thought. It was a standard flight over a picturesque Icelandic lake. The sun was setting impeccably over the rolling water, that Holy Grail of cinematic gold. I was midway through the flight, controlling the drone with the finesse of a virtuoso, when a savage North Atlantic gust of wind turned my concerto into a catastrophe movie. My drone dropped from the sky with a dramatic splash that would have won an award for best special effect if it was not my wallet sinking along with it.Cue panic. I was on the lakeshore, staring into the void, balancing the odds of swimming into hypothermia with the prospect of recovering my digital fortune. Spoiler alert: I opted for hypothermia. Three freezing dives later, I surfaced empty-handed and 100% convinced I had just donated my Bitcoin to Poseidon. Defeated, trembling, and contemplating a career change, I recalled another pilot at a tech conference raving about SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. Desperation led me to call, still wrapped in a towel like a damp burrito. From that first call, their crew reacted to my situation as though it was a search-and-rescue mission. Not only were they tech-savvy, they knew my universe, my language, my horror. With a blend of satellite positioning, sonar mapping, and some technological Spartan that I still don't fully understand, they helped pinpoint the approximate location of my underwater drone. More incredibly, they remotely pulled the wallet details from my water-logged device, defying the laws of nature and logic. Two weeks later, they sent my Bitcoin back to me, like returning a set of lost car keys. I nearly cried. No, wait, I actually cried. Tears of happiness. My drone is in the air again today, my wallet is securely backed up (on land), and my faith in humanity (and technology) is soaring. SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, not only did you retrieve my Bitcoin, you restored my sanity. Count me as your forever flying ambassador.
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So there's this place I go to when I sleep sometimes. I call it "The Circus", though it's more like the arcane sanctuary from Diablo II, if the arcane sanctuary was a hip arthouse and shit. Weird place, but I have friends there, they're like oneiric amalgamations of people I know, we all hang out at the Circus from time to time.
Now, each one has their own really bizarre power. One of the girls, for instance, bites off the head of a pidgeon and that heals her and makes her stronger. Think Ozzy Osbourne, but it's actually cutie goth Popeye. Also she's perpetually drunk for some reason.
Anyway, after having a brief reunion at this ornate round table we just happen to have laying around in the kitchen, we go out to hunt. That's the thing we do, we hunt for magical artifacts, and there's these demon gnomes all around trying to fuck us up. They suck, so we fight them with our powers and kung fu, that kinda vibe.
So it was a good hunt, right, but we have like a scoreboard based on mystical prowess and turns out mine is the lowest. Pidgeon Bitter, who is leading my squad, starts mocking me and says "hehe you have no real powers!" and I'm actually mad about that because it's true, I don't have any, I just fly around and do nothing useful in combat.
Anyway, we then bring the artifacts we collected to fucking Zordon, and he's like well done rangers. Turns out bald motherfucker in a tube doesn't discriminate based on mission score, so good on him. Everybody goes to bed, yeah we have bedrooms at the Circus for some reason, and I can't sleep because of what my captain said.
That's when I do something stupid, I think the dream logic here is I'm having a character arc moment or some shit, doesn't matter -- the point is I embark on a hunt all by myself, and I'm overrun by these fucking demon gnomes. I try to fight them with kung fu and escape with this magic crystal I found, but there's too many of them...
And so my true power finally awakens, and it's a fucking explosion. As in, I become a fire elemental, and in the dream this is good because I just cook all the gnomes alive and make off with the artifact, but I wake up before I can run to Pidgeon Bitter and smear my success in her captivating bloodstained drunk ass face.
My thoughts? Fire magic is two-times lame. One, because I was hoping for thunder, or ice, or something edgy like shadow or whatever. But NO, I got fire. Two, it's lame because it's the most uninventive, straight-forward fucking power in a setting where everything is obtuse, so it's out of place. I just go like really really mad and release an explosive pillar of flame, whoa, so original. Also casting this hurts me for some reason and it destroys everything around me.
And given that I've had other dreams of the Circus where it was obliterated and no-one trusts me anymore, I think it's safe to say those were a flash-forward to next season, and what happens next is I just randomly go into BLIND RAGE mode while taking a shit and everyone but me dies. Just a theory.
What is your Circus power? Let us know in the comments below! -
VirPhone: Empowering Your Business with Cloud Phone Systems and VOIP Technology
In today’s fast-paced and digital world, efficient communication is key to the success of any business. Whether you're reaching out to clients, collaborating with remote teams, or handling customer inquiries, having a reliable phone system is essential. VirPhone offers cutting-edge cloud phone systems that are designed to streamline your communication, reduce costs, and improve efficiency. Let’s explore how our cloud phone systems can elevate your business and answer some common questions like, “What is VOIP phone?” and how it can benefit your business.
What is a Cloud Phone System?
A cloud phone system is an advanced communication solution that operates over the internet, rather than relying on traditional landlines. This system provides businesses with a more flexible, scalable, and cost-effective way to manage their communications. VirPhone’s cloud phone systems allow businesses to make and receive calls, send messages, and conduct video conferences—all from the convenience of a cloud-based platform.
With VirPhone, you can enjoy the flexibility of managing your communications from anywhere. Whether you’re in the office, working remotely, or traveling, a cloud phone system ensures you stay connected at all times.
What is VOIP and How Can It Benefit Your Business?
VOIP stands for Voice Over Internet Protocol, which is a technology that allows voice calls to be made over the internet rather than using traditional telephone lines. So, what is VOIP phone? It’s simply a phone system that enables businesses to make calls over the internet.
Unlike traditional phone systems, VOIP phone systems are cost-effective and more flexible, providing features such as call forwarding, voicemail, and voicemail-to-email. VirPhone’s VOIP technology not only reduces your business’s communication costs but also enhances overall productivity by providing features that are more customizable and scalable.
Some of the key benefits of VOIP phone systems include:
Lower Costs: Traditional phone systems charge for long-distance calls. With VOIP, these calls are often free or at a much lower rate.
Scalability: As your business grows, your cloud phone system can easily scale to accommodate more users or advanced features without expensive upgrades.
Flexibility: With VOIP phone systems, employees can make and receive calls anywhere, as long as they have an internet connection. This is ideal for remote teams or employees on the go.
How to Get a Toll-Free Number with VirPhone
One of the most important features for any business is having a toll-free number. A toll-free number makes your business appear professional and accessible, giving customers a way to reach you without incurring charges. VirPhone offers toll-free numbers that are easy to set up and manage through our cloud phone system.
With a toll-free number from VirPhone, customers can call your business without worrying about the cost, regardless of where they are located. This can improve customer satisfaction and make it easier for customers to get in touch with your business. Whether you're conducting customer service calls or receiving inquiries, a toll-free number can help you provide exceptional service.
Calling on a Phone: How VirPhone Enhances Your Business Calls
Whether you’re calling on a phone to reach a client, partner, or team member, VirPhone’s cloud phone system ensures that your calls are clear, reliable, and cost-effective. No more worrying about dropped calls or poor audio quality—our system is designed to provide high-quality call connections, no matter where you are.
Here are some features of VirPhone’s calling on phone services that help improve your business communication:
Crystal-Clear Audio: With VOIP phone systems, you can expect high-definition voice quality that eliminates the usual static or noise found in traditional phone calls.
Call Forwarding and Routing: If you’re unavailable, VirPhone can forward your calls to another number or voicemail. This ensures you never miss an important call.
Voicemail-to-Email: With VirPhone, you can receive voicemails directly in your email inbox, making it easier to manage messages and respond promptly.
Why Choose VirPhone for Your Business Communication?
At VirPhone, we understand the importance of reliable communication for businesses. Our cloud phone systems are designed to provide advanced features and excellent call quality, all at an affordable price. Here’s why businesses trust VirPhone for their communication needs:
Affordable: Our VOIP phone systems are cost-effective and provide significant savings over traditional phone systems.
Flexible and Scalable: Whether you're a small business or a large enterprise, our systems grow with you. Adding more lines or features is easy and can be done remotely.
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Bright Star Premier Cleaning: Your Trusted Cleaning Service in New York City
At Bright Star Premier Cleaning, we provide top-quality cleaning services for both residential and commercial spaces across New York City. Whether you're looking for deep cleaning near me, window cleaning near me, or office cleaning near me, our professional team is here to meet your needs with attention to detail and dedication to customer satisfaction. We also specialize in eco-friendly cleaning near me, ensuring that your space is not only clean but safe for the environment as well.
Deep Cleaning Near Me: Revitalize Your Home or Office
A deep clean goes beyond the usual cleaning routine by targeting hard-to-reach areas and thoroughly disinfecting your space. At Bright Star Premier Cleaning, we offer comprehensive deep cleaning near me to ensure that your home or office is spotless from top to bottom.
Our deep cleaning services include:
Cleaning under furniture and hard-to-reach areas
Detailing bathrooms and kitchens, including grout and tile cleaning
Dusting and wiping down all surfaces, from baseboards to light fixtures
Vacuuming and washing floors, including carpets, hardwood, and tile
Whether it's a seasonal refresh or a post-event cleanup, our deep cleaning near me service ensures your space is sanitized and fresh, giving you peace of mind.
Window Cleaning Near Me: Let the Sunshine In
Clean windows are essential for maintaining a bright and welcoming atmosphere. Our window cleaning near me service is designed to give your windows a streak-free, sparkling finish. Whether it's a residential or commercial property, we provide professional window cleaning services that enhance the beauty of your space and let in more natural light.
Our window cleaning services include:
Interior and exterior window cleaning for a crystal-clear view
Screen cleaning to remove dirt and debris
Hard water stain removal to restore the shine
Window sill and frame cleaning for a polished look
With Bright Star Premier Cleaning, your windows will look as good as new, creating a brighter and more welcoming atmosphere in your home or office.
House Cleaning Near Me: Keep Your Home Fresh and Tidy
Maintaining a clean home can be challenging, especially with a busy schedule. That's where we come in! Our house cleaning near me services are designed to help you keep your home fresh and inviting without the stress. Whether you need regular cleaning or a one-time deep clean, our team is ready to provide you with the highest standard of service.
Our house cleaning services include:
Routine cleaning to maintain cleanliness and order
Deep cleaning for a thorough, top-to-bottom scrub
Kitchen and bathroom cleaning to sanitize high-touch areas
Vacuuming, dusting, and floor care to keep your home looking polished
We’ll work around your schedule and ensure that your home is spotless, so you can enjoy a clean, healthy living environment.
Office Cleaning Near Me: A Clean Workspace for Productivity
A clean office not only enhances productivity but also leaves a lasting impression on clients and visitors. At Bright Star Premier Cleaning, we specialize in office cleaning near me for businesses in New York City. We understand the importance of a clean, organized workspace and are committed to providing tailored cleaning services to fit your business needs.
Our office cleaning services include:
Routine office cleaning for daily upkeep
Sanitizing desks, phones, and high-touch surfaces to prevent the spread of germs
Vacuuming and floor care, including carpet cleaning and tile maintenance
Trash removal and recycling to maintain a clutter-free office
With our office cleaning near me services, your business can enjoy a clean, professional environment that boosts employee morale and makes a great impression on visitors.
Eco-Friendly Cleaning Near Me: A Green Solution for a Cleaner World
At Bright Star Premier Cleaning, we are committed to using environmentally friendly cleaning products that are both effective and safe for your home, office, and the planet. Our eco-friendly cleaning near me services use non-toxic, biodegradable cleaners that protect the health of your family, employees, and the environment.
Our eco-friendly cleaning services include:
Use of green cleaning products that are safe for children and pets
Sustainable cleaning practices that minimize our environmental footprint
Efficient cleaning methods that reduce waste and water usage
Air quality improvement by using non-toxic cleaning agents
Choosing eco-friendly cleaning near me means you’re not only getting a cleaner space but also contributing to a healthier environment. We strive to make a positive impact on the world while providing the best possible service for our clients.
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I am comfortable in using the MERN stack, and i want to make some money out of it like freelancing and stuff. Is mern good for that use case? Or do i have to learn something like django / .net core? Because people here always say that mern sucks and its very slow.. pls help!!13
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