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Search - "please send help"
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A client asked if we could change their nameservers to wix's ones.
"we want to move to wix because one of my best friends can create a professional site there"
My eyes are bleeding and I think I just spontaneously got aids AND cancer at the same time.
Send help. Please.30 -
How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)
Is this day going to end or what?53 -
How do I un-idiot my users when it comes to clicking on dodgy email-links??
Got a forwarded email just there from a user who said;
Good afternoon,
Is the below ok to open?
I just tried but got a popup saying I've been blocked from opening it.
I'm not sure who it is coming from and I am not waiting on anything but as it says its from dropbox and is important, i know it's okay.
Can you unblock the link ASAP please?
This is really impeding my work-day as I need to know what it is and act accordingly.
Regards... user.
The Original email came from a random jumble of letters with a subject line of 'important dropbox program' - not only does it look dodgy but its english is horrible! It said;
"Hi tu my freind,
You tu still read a pending verrry important document sent by one of your own contact to be vieweddd.
Install "Highly Confidential english.pdf" by clickinggg here
*insert link leading to something called 'viral-update-trojan.exe'*"
I mean, seriously... help!!! 😢
We have sent emails explaining how to hover over links and to not to click them if it looks wrong.
No one does it.
We hired a company to send fake phishing emails to train users in what to do.
It made no difference!
We now make people 'verify' their email addresses when opening any sort of link to try get them to actually look at what they're opening.
We also strip emails of original attachments and create 'safe' html copies as we can't trust them to look at what they're opening.
Everyone complains about it but Jesus Christ, this is why!!!
Its so exhausting!! What is wrong with people!!! Argh!!! 😤16 -
My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.
The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...
Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...
10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...
Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...
----- PM on holidays
Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)
I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D14 -
Hello, I just want to let you know I'm working on a 15 year old product and it is currently in production.
It uses Angular.js and one of the earliest versions of React.js. I cannot use ES6, we don't have Babel, no JSX syntax, no CSS preprocessor. No webpack.
I must support browser since IE6 with an ES3 syntax. (luckily I got some some polyfills for an ES5 syntax)
When I build a component I have to call React.createClass and React.createElement.
The render() function is basically a nested pile of React.createElement.
There is no documentation for this product, no tests, no anything.
I had to reverse engineer it in order to understand how it works.
The code base uses mixed programming styles and naming conventions, plus thousands of little js files.
Oh and obviously no hot reload, every time I make a change I have to restart everything.
Please, send help.
I'm in danger.
Sincerely,
An underpaid developer
....
I'm not crying, you are crying...19 -
UPDATE: devRant Trans-Oceanic Journey Community Project
It was a mere 12 days ago that I asked the question; 'Could devRanters, as a community, build a 21st Century Technology-Laden ‘devRant devie-Stressball-in-a-Bottle’ and send it on a journey across the Atlantic ocean?
I am thrilled to report that devRanters enthusiastically accepted this difficult challenge. A core team quickly formed and a tremendous amount of research and progress has been made in a short period of time. I want to give you a high level-flavor of what we are doing. Please keep in mind we still need your help. We welcome all develops to take part in this journey.
I want to give appreciation to the devRant Founders @dfox and @trogus. Without your support and sponsorship this project would not have been possible. devRant brought us together and it a reality. Devie journeying across the Ocean the Columbus sailed will stir the imagination of children and adults worldwide when we launch on May 1, 2017.
Some of the research and action items in progress:
- Slack and trello environments were created to capture research and foster discussion.
- A Stony Brook University Oceanography Professor suggested the Gulf Stream would be a good pathway across the ocean. We researched it very and agree. The Gulf Stream has been a trans-Atlantic conduit for hundreds of years. We are deciding whether to launch from Cape Hatteras, NC or the Virginia coast. Both have easy access to the rapid currents in the Gulf Stream.
- We are researching every detail of the Gulf Stream to make the journey easier and faster for devie. We have maps and a team member gathered valuable ideas reading a thorough book – ‘The Gulf Stream’.
- We decided on using a highly resilient plastic rather than glass for the bottle material. Plastic is much lighter, faster and glass breaks down more easily. The lightweight enclosure will allow us to take full advantage of waves and ample trade winds. We are still discussing the final design as we want to minimize friction and mimic the non-locomotion fish that migrate thousands of miles riding the Gulf Stream.
-The enclosure might be 3D printed unless we can locate a commercial solution. We have 3D specs and are speaking with some experts. There are advantages and dis-advantages to each solution.
- We will be using Iridiums' RockBLOCK two-way satellite technology to bounce lat-long coordinate pings off their 36 low-orbit satellites. The data will be analyzed by our devRant devie analysis software. IOS and Android public apps being built by the team will display devie's location throughout the journey in.
- Arduino will be used as the brains
- Multiple sensors including temperature and depth are being considered
-A project plan will be published to the team Friday 12/9. Sorry I am a few days late but adding some new ideas.
There are still a lot of challenges we must overcome and we will.
That’s all for now. I will send updates and all ideas / comments are valued.6 -
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
Me:
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"3 -
I would like to invite you all to test the project that a friend and me has been working on for a few months.
We aim to offer a fair, cheap and trusty alternative to proprietary services that perform data mining and sells information about you to other companies/entities.
Our goal is that users can (if they want) remain anonymous against us - because we are not interested in knowing who you are and what you do, like or want.
We also aim to offer a unique payment system that is fair, good and guarantees your intergrity by offer the ability to pay for the previous month not for the next month, by doing that you do not have to pay for a service that you does not really like.
Please note that this is still Free Beta, and we need your valuable experience about the service and how we can improve it. We have no ETA when we will launch the full service, but with your help we can make that process faster.
With this service, we do want to offer the following for now:
Nextcloud with 50 GB storage, yes you can mount it as a drive in Linux :)
Calendar
Email Client that you can connect to your email service (
SearX Instance
Talk ( voice and video chat )
Mirror for various linux distros
We are using free software for our environment - KVM + CEPH on our own hardware in our own facility. That means that we have complete control over the hosting and combined with one of the best ISP in the world - Bahnhof - we believe that we can offer something unique and/or be a compliment to your current services if you want to have more control over your data.
Register at:
https://operationtulip.com
Feel free to user our mirror:
https://mirror.operationtulip.com
Please send your feedback to:
feedback@operationtulip.com38 -
This morning:
SLACK HAS A DARK THEME! ALL GLORY TO THE AMAZING SLACK TEAM! SLACK FOR PRESIDENT!
This afternoon:
OH GOD THIS THEME MAKES ME WANT TO SCOOP THE EYES OUT OF MY SOCKETS THE FONT LOOKS UGLIER THAN THE PILE OF SKINFAT I SCRAPED OFF MY MOUSE ITS AWFUL I NEED HUGS SEND HELP
Thanks, companies, for trying, I guess.
I love dark themes, but the ones provided are often even worse than the light themes.
They go overboard with extreme black/white contrasts, pick a super weird hue of puke-gray, or certain elements are unreadable.
So, please, instead of wasting the time of your designers on something that's clearly too difficult for them.... how about just making it easy to create community themes for your app?
Especially if it's an electron app, how hard is it to add a config option to import a CSS file, and provide one template as an example?7 -
I had a huge epiphany on Friday... not all developers enjoy coding.
Discovered when they brought down 2 of our environments, well told them what was wrong with the changes in their code that caused the environments to break, gave them links directly to the file in the gitlab repo that needed to be updated, and...
They fucking went home. The change would’ve taken all of about 30-45 seconds to update and they fucking left.
This person’s team lead come storming in pissed off because her manager is furious about 2 environments going down and preventing everyone else from being able to deploy their changes.
We provide the exact same details to the team lead about what needs to be changed, and advise that her team member took off....
30 mins later, her manager is storming up to us (devops/sre) livid as hell.
Explain the situation for a third time... manager is like, why can’t you guys fix it?
Look here you dense motherfuckers, we can fix the code. We can be the plumbers that clean up your shit. But what value do you gain as a developer if you don’t understand how the systems work and you keep pushing shit in?
Made the changes, fixed the environments, done right? Wrong.
The original developer made more changes not knowing what would happen and thoroughly fucked the environments again.
This dumb-fucking dumpster fire of a dude then sends us a slack message. “It’s down again, can you fix it?”
Our manager steps in and tells us to send him a link to the logs and have him fix it himself!
Thank goodness we have a badass manager.
Send logs, send repo file links (again), and send line numbers in the logs to try and help just a bit more. Dude goes almost the whole day without fixing it, environments are down, other devs are pissed, we throw this dude to the wolves. His manager starts to head over and was about to talk with my team lead when our manager steps out of his office and tells him the in’s and out’s of the situation and that our job isn’t to play log parser/error fixer for the developers. This dude that’s breaking the environments needs to be the one to fix the issue and his team lead should be aware of the problems and should have been able to correct his errors before it ever came to us.
The amount of hand-holding we do is ridiculous.
(Disclaimer, this one guy making some mistakes doesn’t sound too bad, but this is actually a common occurrence for like 40% of all of our developers)
We literally have interns still in college running circles around some of our full time devs. I know I’m not a developer, but for anyone that’s new-ish to developing, when you see shit like that please don’t lose hope. Those ass-hats got into programming purely for a paycheck, not because of passion.
Stick with it and your greatness will know no bounds 👍
As for you craptastic dipstick lickers, FUCK YOU!!! Go back to school and learn how to give a damn.4 -
"Alexa still down :( Please send help, I no longer know how to switch any devices on or off manually. Smart home now officially dumb..."
The home isn't the only one it seems 🤭3 -
Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.
It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.9 -
Escalation channel
Q: @here I'm sending a request to X and I'm getting a timeout. Please help.
A: Can you please share the request you're sending?
Q: It's <URL> and I send this token as a Bearer: <token>
A: I understand that, but it's a lot easier to debug if we have the curl for said request. You can find it here: <postman_screenshot_with_arrows>
Q: Here's what it looks like: <postman_screenshot_with_17.4_km_long_curl>9 -
Ok, a few days ago I recommended contabo.com as a good and cheap VPS, because our company uses it and it is blazingly fast. BUT! I am definitely NOT doing this!
"False or fraudulent orders are commonplace on the Internet. We have to take measures to prevent such false or fraudulent orders. Our system has identified your order as a possible false order. We must now prove your order as a valid order, otherwise we cannot provide you with the services you bought. We need your help with this. Please send us a copy of your passport or national identity card or something similar which corresponds to the data you have provided to us. Alternatively, you can send us your telephone or electricity bill if it contains your address. The address must match the address you provided on our homepage. It is sufficient if you simply take a photo of the document. The only purpose of this is to prove your order as authentic. This is why it does not matter which of the mentioned documents you send us and it does not matter if you make a scan or take a photo. A scammer could not provide any of these documents, this means one document is already enough to prove that your order is authentic and valid."14 -
Came across 'var3' and 'var15' while debugging Hybris. What the actual fuck SAP, since when do you hire preschoolers to code.1
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Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...5
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Not dev, but IT...
Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂
Please, send help or a job application...5 -
Been asked if we can make a few "minor tweaks" to a Visual Basic 6.0 application last worked on in 2013.
I haven't coded in Visual Basic in approximately 20 years, the project can't be opened in Visual Studio 2012 or above and the code I've seen is a dumpster fire.
Please send help.4 -
Having a job helps a lot when you've just had a really bad breakup. The work distracts you from the shit you're going through for at least 10 hours everyday. But the weekends become really depressing.3
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this just happened a few seconds ago and I am just laughing at the pathetic site that is Facebook. xD
4 years ago:
So I was quite a noobie gamer/hacker(sort of) back then and i had a habit of having multiple gmail/fb accounts, just for gaming, like accounts through which i can log in all at once in the same poker room, so 4/5 players in the game are me, or just some multiple accounts for clash of clans for donations.
I had 7-8 accounts back then. one had a name that translated to "may the dead remain in peace "@yahoomail.com . it was linked to fb using same initials. after sometime only this and 2 of my main accs were all i cared about.even today when i feel like playing, i sometimes use those accs.
2 years ago.
My dad is a simple man and was quite naive to modern techs and used to hang around with physical button nokia phones.But we had a business change, my father was now in a partnership in a restaurant where his daily work included a lot of sitting job and and casual working. So he bought a smartphone for some time pass.
He now wanted to download apps and me to teach him.I tried a lot to get him his own acc, but he couldn't remember his login credentials.
so at the end i added one of my own fake ID's(maythedead...) so he could install from playstore, watch vids on youtube and whatever.
The Actual Adventure starts now
Today, 1 hour ago:
I had completely forgot about this incident, since my parents are now quite modern in terms of tech.
But today out of nowhere i recieved an email that someone has JUST CHAINGED MY FB PASSWORD FOR ONE OF MY FAKE ACCS!?!??
what the hell, i know it was just a useless acc and i never even check my fb from any acc these days, but if someone could login into that acc, its not very difficult to track my main accs, id's, etc so i immediately opened this fb security portal and that's where the stupidity starts:
1)To recover your account they FUCKIN ASKS FOR A PHYSICAL ID. yeah, no email, no security question you have to scan your driving license or passport to get back to your account.And where would I get a license for some person named "may the dead remain in peace"? i simply went back.
2) tried another hack that i thought that will work.Closed fb help page, opened fb again , tried to login with my old credentials, it says" old password has been changed,please enter new password", i click forget password and they send an otp. i thought yes i won, because the number and recover mail id was mine only so i received it.
when i added the otp, i was first sent to a password change page (woohoo, i really won! :)) but then it sends me again to the same fuckin physical id verification page.FFFFFFFFFuck
3)I was sad and terrified that i got hacked.But 10 mins later a mail comes ,"Your Facebook password was reset using the email address on Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 8:24pm (UTC+05:30)."
I tried clicking the links attached, hoping that the password i changed(point<2>) has actually done something to account.NADA, the account still needs a physical license to open:/
4) lost, i just login to my main account and lookup for my lost fake account. the fun part:my account has the display pic of my father?!!?!
So apparently, my father wanted to try facebook, he used the fake account i gave him to create one, fb showed him that this id already has an fb account attached to it and he accidently changed my password.MY FATHER WAS THE HACKER THE WHOLE TIME xD.
but response from fb?" well sir, if you want your virtually shitty account back , you first will have to provide us with all details of your bank transactions or your voter id card, maybe trump will like it" -
Welcome to this week's episode of "sudo-woodo tries to get a single Python script merged", starring...
•The software architect so senior they were working here while I was still in pre-school. Wasn't added as a reviewer and was completely absent on this project for two months but came in on this PR with a few questions, including questioning design decisions they agreed on the last time they saw the project.
•The QA lead with ten years of experience... in Java. Has never even touched Python and asked to review, only for every issue raised but one stemming from not knowing the language.
•The CI guy. A script guru who will find a problem with literally anything. Honestly the most helpful person of the bunch.
•My coworker. Hasn't said anything yet.
please send help -
Don't you love it when out of a sudden tests fail because backend guys decided to change JSON response of one of the endpoints used.
aaaaaaah! can't this day just end ASAP!2 -
OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!6
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Be a fellow who's distracted af. You just had a presentation in another city. You're driving home and a light lits up saying you need gas. You stop at the petrol station, pour in some gas, grab a cop of joe while you're at it, pay and leave. You're 15minutes away from the gas stop already and an unknown number is calling you. You pick it up. A male voice says
Voice: "hello, this is police. Did you just leave a gas stop 15 minutes ago?"
You: *wtf, what the fuck did I do now!* "yes, I sure did."
Voice: "you forgot to pay for the fuel"
you: *oh shit, he's right! I remember now - I only paid for the coffee! Shit! I'm in trouble now. *
"oh.. Right, you're right, I forgot... I'll turn around and come back to pay
Voice: "wait, don't rush, I may be able to help you. I'll call you back, keep your phone close" *hangs up*
5 minutes later phone rings again.
Voice: "can you pull over, please? Here's a phone number of that gas stop. Give them a call, I'm sure you'll sort it our. Have a nice day!" *hangs up*
you call that number. A woman picks up.
You: "hello, I forgot to pay you for the gas, gimme a few minutes - I'll turn around and get back to you"
Operator: "do not worry, I think I can help you! You can pay for it at your home town if you like, but I'm afraid they might not be working today. But they will tomorrow! Would that be OK for you?"
you: "umm, yeah, of course! It's my fault - anything is OK for me!"
operator: "ooorrr.. I could pay for you now and you would pay me back. Would that work? Here's my bank account, I'll pay for you when you send me those 50 something €"
a fantasy story? Made up story? Bed time stories? Dysney movie plot? Phishing? Canada?
No. This is Lithuania :) believe it or not, this is a true story, and there are more like this one.
Respect to the police!12 -
So i just saw a post about not pushing to production on Friday's and that reminded me of something.
A team we are working with (we needed help on something so we got another company to send us a team and do it for us) recently push to production on a Friday at around 5pm.
We didn't know that they had done it until a shit ton of errors started happening and we had no idea why (it was working so far, none of us did anything, so what the fuck is going on).
To make things better, one of my colleagues tried calling them and they wouldn't answer the phone. They knew what they did, so they went home before we could notice it and we had to correct their mistake.
We had everyone calling us saying they had gotten an error, and they needed to get home but couldn't because of it (it messed up a process that only happens at the end of the day before people go home. I can explain more in the comments if anyone is confused, or just wants to know).
Eventually everything was solved, but that was a very stressful ending of the week.
So yeah, don't deploy on Friday's please and thank you7 -
Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.
Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...9 -
I'm going to have a test tomorrow... And I still don't know the grade of the test I've done over 1m ago (2nd of November)... And people are saying the teacher told them the grade is coming tomorrow when he told us on my class (2 different shifts) that it was coming out today... Someone send help please
In the uni's regulation it says that if teachers don't release our grades for a test 3d before the next one, we can talk to our pedagogic commission and ask to do something about it. People from my course on fb were talking about asking to remove the minimum grade on the average of our 2 tests, but IDK how that situation is and I don't think there's much we can do about it so on top of tomorrow's test. And changing the date of the test isn't really an option because we have 3 tests left on the next week and 1/2 and it's all so on top of each other so the only solution would be to make it after the 20th (that's our last test, and people have already booked flights to go home)18 -
I live in a 3rd world country so we don’t have a lot of technological advancements as compared to to developed countries. This means true technological talent is very rare maybe 0.01% of the people in the space, which in this case is programming. Why then do these dumb Fucks who didn’t even score good enough grades to attend any computer science related course which aren’t even that high, so high minded(pun may be intended). Seriously every time i meet someone somewhat capable in their domain e.g. mobile devs or frontend devs, talk like they can move the fucking world and change the course of humanity but when you ask them to pass down the knowledge you will receive a fuck u note of no reply. This pisses me off because I thought because of our slow progress in catching up with the world we would have communities that aim to expand the knowledge of everyone and help everyone help themselves.
I write this because I’ve attended so many meetups around my area and every time I ask someone for help to get to some enlightenment as they have the reply is always put down your email and I’ll send it to you and this is the last you ever hear from them.
The worst part is you’ll see them bragging on local forums about how awesome they are and see them poking holes at other peoples attempts. Seriously if you are so great why aren’t the tech giants of the world salivating over your talents.
Personally I believe that these people are afraid that once they pass the knowledge someone will beat them at it and they won’t be as “awesome” as they initially thought.
That said not everyone is like this we have some good eggs in the basket. To the others I would like to let them know that we can’t know everything and someone somewhere is always gonna be better than us, a candle never loses its light by lighting another candle. If you are one of these people please try and make a change. You never know what’ll come out of it.1 -
I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Friday and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Friday and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get my car out the time to do it again and I look forward to hearing from you in awhile I have a few questions about the other I have a few questions about the same as the other day I will have a talk at you and I hope to see everyone again and again I apologise I didn't get a response to your advertisement for a while but it is a little chilly here is a copy to the store to buy the car is in a good way to start a little more time with the family for a while but it is a little chilly here is a copy to the time of the year for the first time in a long time and I don't want it for a couple days so I'm just trying for you guys I just want a ride with us to get a few things done and I will be there at the end if this works out well for you and your family a very happy and excited about this weekend so I'm just going to go to the store and get back with me and my family is going to be a little late today but I'm still in my car and I will be there at like midnight so much and have to be at work at the moment but I'll try again later in life I have been trying to get a hold of the guy that I have a meeting with you to discuss the details of the job and I have been working in my room so I can get a ride to the airport on Sunday so we are all on my own and I will be there at noon so I'll just be me my money back and I will get it done this weekend but I will be there at the same time and where would we have been in the hospital for a week or two to see you soon and have a great day today love it and it will not work for me to come in and get a new phone or in person and I am not sure how long it would have taken it off and on again and again I apologise I didn't know you were going to be a little late to the game and it will not work on it this morning I was wondering if you had a choice but I don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any rate is higher up for it and the other is a good time to come in for an appointment with the surgeon on my phone and I don't want to be a good friend to come in at all and the other is a good time to call and talk about what we can do to help you feel better I can come by to pick up the kids from school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next few days and I have a few more days before we get into my car to go out for lunch at home and I will be there at the same time as you can imagine how hard is it to late to get a new car is a lot more done with the interview and the kids will have a good day at school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next two days so we are all on my way home from the gym and then I will be able to make it today because I'm a very nice person who can do it for you if you want to come by and see you soon and have to go back in the office tomorrow morning at work today but I'm going back and I will be there at the same time and where would we have been trying all of us and the rest are you still interested I can send you a picture of the front and back of the house and the kids are going well with the family for a while but it is a little chilly here is a picture of the front and back of the house is in my prayers as a friend but it will have a great weekend and I will be there at the end if this works out well and that your mom and dad are going to be a bit of an emergency at least you have a good day at school today so I'm going to be in the office tomorrow and will be back to the hotel now I'm in bed with a friend and then I will be able to make it to the meeting tonight but I will be there at the same time I was in a hurry and come to the office and I will send the other side and a little about me and you will see that you sent it out and get a good deal and you have the address of where I can get a ride to work on it this week but will have a good day at school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next two days so we are going to be in the office tomorrow and I have been working in the morning and I will get it done this weekend but will be back in the office on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday are going well for you and your wife is not the case then you have the address of your day goes on and I have been working in the morning and I will be there at the same time I am in need and I'll see what the status is on the way to the airport and then we will have a great day at school today so I'm trying to get a hold of the guy who was the guy who was the guy who is going well and I am going to be out by then but if I can find a way to get the car out the door to go to the store and I have to be in a relationship with a friend and then I will be able to make it to the meeting and will get the info for the guy who was the guys are doing the meeting at the church16
-
This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!
Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!
The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉1 -
That amazing moment when I'm last to know about release date when everyone else knows about it couple of weeks ago.
Life is just amazing :)1 -
I love working doing tasks like moving boxes.
Move 10 boxes from point A to point B. Simple, you know what to do. and you know when you are finished.
I Hate tasks such as: Change this Icon to other icon. (C++) Because it takes me 3 fucking hours to find in code where the fuck this happens! And every time my first instinct when I don't know something is go to the internet and search for it. But in this case I CaN't!.
Wife: asking why I'm browsing the internet looking at memes.
Because I Don't Know where the fuck I need to be to finish my task! And I am stuck in this repeating loop of searching in code, looking at memes and being ashamed of myself that I did not this fucking simple task in like 10 minutes.
And after 3 hours of doing basically NOTHING. I don't dare to ask a colleague about everything.
Please send help....4 -
o and btw, yesterday was my birthday lol.
realtalk: if you want me to feel special, dont fucking force me to be more social than on all the other days together, or i will rewrite the year without eightteenth february.
you fucking corksuckers, i dont want to go to that place my grandma (same bd as i) goes to to celebrate. fucking mediocre pizzaria isnt fucking worth it, so atleast give me a choose.
and on the very Least, could you please quiet up? its not by telling me ten times per hour to be more proactive at school that you will help me like school.
o and also FFS WHEN IM FUCKING SICK AND EVEN OFFERING TO GO TO THE DOC TO SEE, FUCKING DONH SEND ME TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY
(you just got an insight into my life. wanna see more? i dont think so)3 -
I hate having to deal with our IT service desk. Every time it takes enormous energy to get to the right people and make them understand that no, you are not an idiot, but you actually have a technical issue.
Sure thing they do have a few competent nice folks there too I've gotten to know over time and they indeed have to deal with a ton of dumb non-tech savvy idiots on a daily basis. However, if my job title mentions "software" and "engineer" they should at least assume I'm an idiot in tech. Or something. Every single time I need to open a ticket, even for the simplest "add x to env y", I need to quadruple check that the subject line is moron-friendly because otherwise they would take every chance to respond "nah we can't do that", "that's not us", or "sry that's not allowed". And then I would need to respond, "yes you do:) your slightly more competent colleague just did this for us 2 weeks ago".
Now you might imagine this is on even another level when the problem is complex.
One of our internal apps has been failing because one of the internal APIs managed by a service desk team responds a 500 status code randomly but only when called with a specific internal account managed by another service desk team.
(when I say "managed by", that doesn't mean they maintain it, it just mean they are the only ones who would have access to change something)
Yesterday I spent over a fucking hour writing a super precise essay detailing the issue, proving a million times it's not on our end and that they need to fix it. Now here is an insight to what beautiful "IT service" our service desk provides:
1) ticket gets assigned to a "Connectivity Engineer" lady
2) few hours later she responds and asks me to give her the app and environment IDs and grant her access to those
(naturally everything in my email was ignored including these two IDs)
3) since the app needs to be in prod for the issue, I make a copy isolating the failing part and grant her access to the original "for reference" and the copy to play with
4) few hours later I get an email from the env that some guy called P made changes to the actual app, no changes to the copy
(maybe they immediately fixed the app even though I asked them to only touch the copy)
I also check the env and the live app had been shared with another 2 people giving them editing rights:)
5) another few hours pass and the lady responds that she had been chatting with P (no mention of who tf that guy is) and that P has a suggestion that might work and I should test it, "please see screen shot" for details:
These motherfuckers sent me a fucking screenshot of the env config file where "P has edited a few parameters" that might help. The screenshot had a 16 line part of the config json with a bunch of IDs and Base64 params which HE EDITED LOCALLY.
Again, because I needed a few iterations to realise what I've just witnessed:
These idiots modified some things in the main app (not the copy) for hours. Then came to the conclusion that the config needs some IDs and params updated. They downloaded the config json. Edited it locally. Did not fucking upload it back to the main or test app. Did not test it live. Did not CC in or direct the guy with changes to me. Did not send me the modified config file. Did not even paste the new IDs into the email. But TOOK A FUCKING SCREENSHOT OF THE MODIFIED FILE AND SENT THAT SHIT TO ME. And then had the audacity to ask me to test it when they had access to it and that's literally their fucking job.
I had to compare the fucking screenshot to the live config file and manually type in the changes.
And no, it still doesn't work. And Now I have to get back to them showing it still fails the same way but I just can't deal with these people. Fuck. Was hoping by the time I write it all down it'd be better, and it does feel a bit better, but I still need to get this app fixed. And I can only do it through these... monkeys. I just can't. Talking to these people drains my life energy... I'm just sad. -
Someone asked for help to solve some errors on an angular app.
Me: sure np, send me the repo link to see what is the issue.
She: *proceeds to send me a 250mb rar*
Me: what is that? I prefer the repo so I can see the history please
She: got me there, haven’t versioned yet
Me: WHAT? You’ve been working for three weeks without versioning anything?
She: yep, because I can’t make it work so, why would I?
I really ask myself sometimes if we are in this world just to suffer.19 -
Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...
This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:
- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.
- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.
- There's no single source of truth.
- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?
- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!
- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?
- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?
Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.
What I would like to see:
A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.
Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.
Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.
There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.
Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.
In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.
What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.
Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.
In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.
Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.
I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.
Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.12 -
!rant
Lights in the bathroom at work are on a movement sensor.
I'm in the shitter browsing devRant.
The lights go out.
tl;dr I'm pants down in the dark right now someone please send help.2 -
!rant
One forgets so quickly how a bad internet connection feels like.
God I think I cant bear this 1mbit, 500ms ping shit connection. Feels like 2002 all over again.
Please dear internet gods, send help!!!6 -
I fucking hate myself for having this bug in the first place, I thought I had it solved, committed and pushed to git but still, it persists.
I'm trying to check if the value I'm inserting into the database exists or not, this is my useless fucking way to do it...
What the actual FUCK.
I'm in my own existential pain trying to solve this shit and it's still not working
SEND HELP PLEASE20 -
Developing the front end and THEN developing the back end is a horrible idea, right guys? I've been placed on my first big project with my employer and this is the way the client is deciding to do it (my employer is not making the backend). I just need to know that I'm not crazy and that this is usually never the way people go about software development. Right guys? Please send help.5
-
Just found a crystal subreport with 33 shared variables. For those who don't know what that is (lucky), they're super global variables that exist everywhere.
Please send help. I'm supposed to refactor this...19 -
>> please help me understand this because im going insane <<
I texted a girl to review my app on google play store
She was like yeah sure
She played the game and said it was cool, told me feedback etc
We chatted about it for a bit
I asked her if she could rate it 5 stars and leave a review and thats it....
She said sure what do u want me to write hahaha
I said anything just something positive
She said oh god fine wait
8 minutes of awkward silence.
8 minutes later i asked her if shes done
5 minutes later she said "Ys hahah"
1 minute later i receive this attached notification that someone had actually left a review.
Within 30 seconds i open it and google play tells me this review has been deleted.
I ask her could you send me a screenshot of your review.
Hours passed by, no answer.
I asked her what happened now, why did you delete your review?
Hours and hours passed by... She doesn't want to enter my message but she is actively texting other people..... I know this because on Snapchat there are points below your name, each time you send or receive 1 message you get +1 point. Last time she sent me that "Ys hahah" was at 42576 points, and now shes at 42594.
I am extremely pissed off about people like this. I actually want to stress about this but i no longer have even energy. Can someone please help me understand why...18 -
NULL
(still looking for one, please send help. I graduate in 2 months and I've been scavenging for a job.) -
So i want to send DevRant an Email to for free stickers, i Live outside US and am confused by what they mean by
" make sure to format your address so it can be copied directly onto a label."
Please Help!6 -
Used TFS for last 7 years and now have to use GIT. OMG Can't get my head wrapped around it. Everything is so confusing. Online articles don't help a beginner. Send help please. Started using Bitbucket with Sourcetree. Still learning. I hate to say this But I feel TFS is more intuitive. Maybe because I'm new to GIT.16
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!Rant
Hey guys I need your help.
I have developed a snippet manager which currently is used by over 280 users from a lot of different countries on a daily base, which is very nice.
(For those wondering the app is called "SnipAway" just search on it on Google it will pop up)
But my main problem currently are the translations. I've created them using Google translator mostly for the languages I don't speak.
I would like to ask for some help from my fellow devRanters. I would need translators for the following languages:
Italian
Spanish
French
Russian
Japanese
Turkish
If you can help translating please comment so I can send you the translation file. The file is not very big so translating it should not take long.
Also if you speak another language that's not in the list above still comment i wouldn't mind to add the language to the app.
Thanks9 -
I need to make a legacy Java monstrosity asynchronous and came across a class which is currently making me cry blood.
It took our whole team 5 days to figure out how this thing works, including the weekend. At one place, It is adding an empty list, to another list.
The magic here is that if I remove the statement assigning data to the sub list, the data is still somehow being populated in the root list.
This clusterfuck somehow works in single threaded processing, but as soon as I make this multi threaded, all hell breaks loose.
Please send help!!1 -
Guys. Guys. Guys.
I went to sleep last night, after hunting a bug the whole day that showed up towards the end of my simulations (after several hours of simulations) and that crashed my program.
The crash was due to a bounds error in a fixed size vector, that worked on all the other thousands of iterations but for some reason randomly crapped out late into the sim. So I gave up and went to sleep.
Booted up my program today, 10x speed gain and no bug. Please send help. My brain is playing games with me, I'm sure. This shouldn't happen. :(1 -
Reddit... is so confusing to me. Can't post until you've posted enough... ok... I get it, like a green-card. I have to be in the US for 7 years before I can get a green-card, but I'm not allowed to be in the US. BUT
Seriously... answer me this:
What do I write here... if I want to ask the moderator a question? I've sent a bunch and I'm starting to think that it is my fault. I'm not going to lead the witness here: just please explain it to me.
Will this send it to all of the mods? Do I need to pick 1 mod and put their name there? Please... help me understand. This just shuts my brain off when I read it.6 -
I'm creating a modified MEAN(MSSQL,Express,Angular,Node)
website as much from scratch as MEAN can be.
Since I've never worked with any of this before I am slow af. Oh and I'm working on my own.
please send help.9 -
FUCK!!! Had my cordova app set up nicely in Phonegap build, and now something has updated in their platform (or the author of the broken plugin) which is breaking the whole compile!1
-
!rant
This “only one more rant“ feeling when you have to sleep because you have to get up and work tomorrow very early.
Please send help.1 -
Productivity Hack: I'm a java developer who decided to write a productivity app that integrates to-do, pomodoro and eisenhower matrix altogether with reports generation. this will also help me logging at work. I'm also using electron + angular2 + typescript, just because, well, I'm trying to learn new stuff.
Long story short, many many many many days later, i'm still waiting for that productivity boost. What is dis webpack? Wat u mean loaders? Wat promises? electron-prebuilt is now electron? Wat u mean npm and node should be updated? .....
Please send help1 -
> Be me
> Fresh out of school
> Do some volunteer work for 1 year before starting to work
> Start work at local hospital
> One day get assigned new task
> "We have this directory where there is a file for every employee who has a key - File contains legal stuff"
> Current naming scheme "MaxMustermann"
> Desired naming scheme "Max Mustermann"
> Task: rename every file.
> 1974 Files
> OHNONONONO.JPG
> Hol up buddy
> A repetetive automatable task?
> I know this
> Im a hackerman
> Let's write a script....
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Python"
> No results
> I could have guessed that
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Java"
> No Java compiler
> OH no
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Powershell"
> "tHe eXEcUTIon oF poWeRsheLL sCriPts Is dIsAbLeD"
> REEEEEEEE
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "cmd"
> "YOu dO noT haAV thE rEqUiReD peRmIsSionS To oPeN tHis proGrAm"
> DAFUQ
> Wait this is windows.
> Windows ships with .NET
> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "csc"
> No results
> OHHELLONO.gif
> mfw I have to rename 1794 files by hand.
( Please send help )7 -
I have one question to everyone:
I am basically a full stack developer who works with cloud technologies for platform development. For past 5-6 months I am working on product which uses machine learning algorithms to generate metadata from video.
One of the algorithm uses tensorflow to predict locale from an image. It takes an image of size ~500 kb and takes around 15 sec to predict the 5 possible locale from a pre-trained model. Now when I send more than 100 r ki requests to the code concurrently, it stops working and tensor flow throws some error. I am using a 32 core vcpu with 120 GB ram. When I ask the decision scientists from my team they say that the processing is high. A lot of calculation is happening behind the scene. It requires GPU.
As far as I understand, GPU make sense while training but while prediction or testing I do not think we will need such heavy infra. Please help me understand if I am wrong.
PS : all the decision scientists in the team basically dumb fucks, and they always have one answer use GPU.8 -
Anyone else gotten really good at the screenshot -> crop -> send to friend workflow on devRant?
Why is save image disabled? Am I missing something stupid easy here?!
@dfox Please help make this process more streamlined if this is working as intended!7 -
I've a new request from a client wanting a drop shipping system with WordPress and WooCommerce. He also wants a merchandise management system.
I never did this and am unsure how to build it, what fuck to expect or even what to charge.
Please send help! 🥺😱😰6 -
Hey, can someone help me test out PGP?
Just set up a key and did some keyserver uploads, not sure if this really works tho.
Just send a message encrypted with my key please. :)
Fingerprint: CAE625C962F94C67
If I did mess keyservers up, it's also here: https://privateger.me/pgp.txt20 -
Not much, honestly! My "desk" is actually a really shallow IKEA shelf - for a while I had a small collection of game figurines, bobbleheads and snowglobes lined up next to and on the base of my monitor stand, but more recently I had to make room for a Raspberry Pi, emergency bottle of HP Sauce and a drinks coaster.
My desk is tiny. Also I'm almost out of HP Sauce, please send help. -
We all know that one guy at work that explains and overshare stuff using a lot of jargons for the sake of using jargons at the daily scrum. Then it turns out, he's ranting about something so trivial, basically wasted a lot of time. And don't get started on meetings. Oh god. Please send help.1
-
grrgerefaeornvadfvnafvalfbv!!!!!!! *smashes keyboard*
Crystal reports, when given a null value into a display string, will just ignore everything and output a blank.3 -
Anyone with good understanding of hardware and/or an operating systems network protocols please assist me. I have questions
When using socket api I know it’s not the actual sockets sending the data but the socket api tells the network protocol to send, receive, listen, connect, etc well what I want to know is how that networking protocol works within the operating system
My second question is more an extension of the first. After the operating system knows what the socket api wants to do and wants to do it how does the transmission and receiving work on the physical layer within the hardware
Idk if what I’m asking makes sense. But if anyone also has any resources or a link that’ll help me on the subject I’d appreciate it. I haven’t found anything on the subjects myself19 -
Does anyone from here working by GMX? I am specially looking for a sysadmin.
The story is the following. We can't send emails to GMX addresses in general. I've contacted my provider, and they said, that they've contacted GMX several times but no solution has been made so far. This was almost a month ago and the problem still persists.
If anyone from here willing to help me clear this mess, or just give some explanation, I would be grateful. We are loosing reputation as a company having to answer from a different email address.
If it is a sensitive info please give me a channel where we can speak about the details.
Please note I am not a sysadmin by the hosting company, i am simply a customer of theirs.14 -
My question is very easy and it is possible that this is a stupid question but I need your help. I have tried to develop a component with a function where I implemented a require function. In this last function, I included a state where a "select" option send the value (the path of the css file) to update this state. The value depend the choice of the user. So, it partially works because when I come back to an option that I picked a few seconds ago, the require function doesn't work anymore. I am not sure that was the best option. I am a beginner. Can someone explain me the reason why "require()" stops to work and which is the best way to resolve this functionality please ?