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day 1 - colleague buys a mini need pistol
day 2 - other colleague buys a big nerf pistol
day 4 - other colleague buys a f#&$ nerf shotgun
day 7 - I buy a automatic nerf gun
day 8 - huge nerf war with other co-workers
day 9 - nerf weapons banned on the office
yesterday - wait colleague leave the office and shoot him on the face every time
today - everyone walking crouched leaving the office
Please, if you are the someone else's boss, don't ban nerf guns, it's worse..26 -
*Me trying to flirt with her*
Me: "Programming turns me 1."
She: "JavaScript turns me true."
Guess who spent whole day searching some good js tutorials on web today ??6 -
1. Start working in company that is celebrating something the same day you start new job.
2. Make sure they invite you.
3. Get drunk hard before event.
4. Puke on a CEO during his opening speech.
Mission accomplished you’re now a legend.8 -
Had this conversation the other day:
Girl: So, what do you do?
Me: I'm a Software Developer.
Girl: So you write 1 and 0 all the day?
Me: Yes!
----
I actually work with C#3 -
An average day:
1. Start working on feature
2. Finish feature
3. Feature doesn't work
4. Spend 7 hours refactoring and fixing imaginary bugs
5. Add the 3 characters that were missing
6. Laugh and cry, laugh and cry...4 -
How to secure yourself from flash 0-day attacks:
1. Uninstall flash
2. Don't reinstall flash
3. Seriously, you don't need flash8 -
Useless Google Shortener API.
It allows 1M requests per day.
But has a max rate limit of 1 request/second. There are 86400 seconds in a day. Why are you giving a 1M requests limit then?5 -
*Corona Virus Lock-down*
-University Prof: "Now You have lots of time to do your projects. from now, you will have 1 project each week"
-Boss: "You are at home all day! can you increase your working hours?"
-Me: "Fuck Corona"5 -
My brother just started learning web development. Day 1 of playing on his own domain, and he breaks his WP install twice in an hour. He sends me the following text:
This is like a horribly frustrating game.
Best summary of software development I've ever heard, and it's only his first day.6 -
1. Purchased GTA San Andreas from Google Play
2. Always got a download failure at 85% downloaded.
3. Contacted Google support, got asked how my day was going
4. Had no idea how to answer that11 -
Response time of different people on Whatsapp:
Best Friend: 5-10 sec
Friend: 1-2 min
Best Friend(Girl): 3-5 min
Girl Friend: 1-2 day 😢
Client(when me solving bug): 0.00005 sec
Client(when me asking payment): *Blocked*
😕😕😕😕😕7 -
A guide to estimations.
1) don’t give an immediate answer. The first “timeframe” you give will be held against you and will result in overtime and working weekends.
2) think of a relevant piece of work and the time that took.
2.1) if it’s something you haven’t done before, add some adequate research time.
3) allow half a day of testing for every day of development.
4) add a day as buffer - this is good for on the fly bug fixes
5) calculate time
6) now give an educated estimate.
7) this should take you 5 seconds to get through mentally.
8) if scope creep occurs: goto:15 -
Step 1: Turn off any intellisense and debug tools.
Step 2: Code all day without running the code.
Step 3: Push everything to the build server and avoid looking at the result.
Step 4: Go home.
LIKE A BOSS!7 -
1. You will write ugly code. Code that is in dire need of refactoring almost immediately.
2. You will write brilliant code. Functions and algorithms that will impress all that use them.
3. 1 & 2 are not mutually exclusive. Good software can be written poorly, beautifully written code can be useless. At the end of the day, just get the job done.2 -
Confession of the day:
1. I work in release mode
2. I work on the main branch only
3. I test on production13 -
"The client wants th..."
FUCK THE CLIENT!FUCK THAT MORON!
YOU CAN'T BE MAKING CHANGES 1 DAY TO LAUNCH! FUCK THIS!4 -
Microsoft creates a new chat bot:
Day 1
User : hi
Chatbot: hello, how's yours day? 😁
One month later:
User: hi
Chatbot: fuck off your piece of shit.😡4 -
My boss expects me to create an android application like Instagram just in 1 day ... 😂😂
it's terrible that your boss doesn't have any knowledge about programming...😥7 -
my boss went on vacation 1 day before the deadline. Then disaster came in. So we emailed him, and he replied.
"Good luck"9 -
Wrote 800-1200 LOC
It went through code review which was apparently my first code being reviewed
Took me 1 month and more to fix most changes (per day more than 10-12 hrs of effort)..
That 1 month was a nightmare. Every day I thought of giving up programming. I shouted to myself every night why did I never considered these myself. How can I be so dumb.
Half of the reviews I didn't even know how to implement. Didn't even know what to Google.
I consider it as one of my toughest phase as a developer till date.
I still get goosebumps remembering those days.9 -
Annoyingly typical office conversation:
Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."
NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.17 -
Trend of the day:
1. Facebook is really compromising user privacy, will delete my account!
2. Post about deleting Fb account to twitter, instagram, etc
3. "Ok google, what is privacy?"
4. Find a random app in play store and allow access regardless20 -
I take 1 day off from work, i come back finding my chair replaced by a junky one... I mean really??? f*ck this!17
-
I just had a 2 hours long company lunch followed by a 1 hour meeting with the whole team. And I still have a big problem to discuss with two colleagues. Too much social interaction for one day for me. Damn, how my head hurts.27
-
My average work day:
Thinking of better ways to plan/organise my work - 75%
Planning my work - 15%
Rethinking how to plan my work - 9%
Actual work 1%1 -
Day 1 of my CIT major:
Professor: "...and if we use the right mouse button to click on any file, we can access a complete menu of secondary actions."
It's going to be a long semester.3 -
The three indicators you have spent to much time on devRant while being on the toilet:
0: You reached the post from the last day.
1: Your legs fell asleep.
2: You forgor whether you have to wipe your ass or not.2 -
Me: I can't get a grasp on frontend and nice interfaces...
Friend: it's actually quite easy:
Rule 1 -Don't reinvent the wheel..
Rule 2 -That does not look like a wheel.
Made my day :D1 -
Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!
1. Username
2. Password
3. Captcha
4. Mandatory 2FA
We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!
Go fuck yourself.7 -
Day 1: Client requested this change! Please do it!
[Make the change]
Day 2: Hold on, this is a new request and out of scope. we should reject this change.
[Rollback change]
Day 3: Client said they really need it. Please make the change.
[rollmyeyes]2 -
An open letter to those who think lines of code == a decent metric for productivity:
NO!!!
Just because I wrote 10 lines of code all day (yes just 10 very well thought out, many times rewritten) lines doesn't mean my day was unproductive. Quite the opposite, while other devs pad their shit with:
//Adds 1 to I
I++;
Yup. Quality code. LOC doesn't lie.10 -
Rs 500 and 1000 notes are banned in India in order to curb black money.
Bankers will now get to know what is 1 day development and deployment along with support from the next day.
#ITprofessionals.😂😂 -
Project manager:
"Ah, we have so many projects. We want to finish all at once. Can you work 1 hour on each project every day?"
Not doing that, gtfo.12 -
Every Group Project in CS Major
Group 1:- Hey group 2 what project are you making ..?
Group 2:- Can't tell , Top Secret
FINAL Day:-
Group 1:- Railway Ticket Booking System
Group 2:-Railway Ticket Authorization System
Evaluators :- I think I saw similar idea somewhere....😂3 -
Unwritten devRant law #1:
if ($day === 'Friday') {
// add important words
$rant .= 'deploy';
$rant .= 'not';
}
print $rant;15 -
if (MONTH === 1 & DAY === 18) {
alert("Bro, it's your birthday");
} else {
alert("Bro, just go away, you're nothing special 😅);
}12 -
var { name: x } = person
Day 1 : that's some good ES6 code man, I'm so 2017
Day 5 : Oh yeah I think it works, dont really remember
Day 17 : WTF is that ? Is that even Javascript ?10 -
Thanks again devRant, @dfox and @tragus.
Those stickers are amazing.
Hope to get the stress ball one day too.
Btw @dfox what do you mean with +1’s here? 500 +1's on a single rant for a ball
2 -
Project day 1. CTO: everything should be covered by automatic tests.
Project day 30. CTO: listen, we have lot of work in the pipeline now and we need to prioritize. Please don't spend that much time on tests.
Project day 100. CTO: why isn't everything covered by automatic tests?7 -
> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers
*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*
> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner
My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿8 -
So I've been doing some code jobs now and recently they pushed me to a new level.
This company worked with some silly management app made in cpp which they asked me to edit a little bit giving it another style and some additional functions.
Day 1: this code is a mess.
Day 2: this code is a mess.
Day 3: how does this code even compile.
Day 4: I no longer have faith in humanity.
Day 5: I found my first comment (Yay?).
Day 16: I'm done.
Day 19: I got paid.
If you're making a project in cpp just like that dev you do deserve a punch in the throat.
No documentation, no comments, no patterns, just some thick pasta of poorly written code, names like fCalcAllTaxFilesSizeMB....
This haunts me for real.2 -
Having debates on order of operations. The one that is hot again is the 6÷2(2+1).
Programming and actual order of operations says the answer is 9, but everyone argues it is 1. Well before 1970 that was the case. SMH. Despite showing them the rules and work, they still say theirs is the correct way.
With programming and Excel formulas I deal with every day I do this without even pausing.
40 -
"We expect you to be at your desk from at least 10-5 every day. You may work from home 1 day per month with a few days advance notice."
70 minute commute into SF each way, every day, so I can sit at an uncomfortable desk and not interact with anyone except on hipchat.3 -
Day 1 of my 1000 job applications TikTok challenge
Goal:
- apply to 9 different jobs per day
- see if i can break the Guinness World Record of being rejected 1 thousand (1000) times
Stats so far:
- 9 job applications
- 0 replies
- 0 hires
Will be documenting this on devrant too
7 -
3 Days Group Project.
1. day (get into matter, collect ideas)
2. day (mate was sick and stayed home, I programmed our Java game from scratch 100%)
3. day (he comes again, gets my source code, changes games wallpaper and sets tick speed to 60 instead of 30.
He deletes my version on all presentation PCs because he thought his was "better")2 -
Tomorrow's my last day.
There is no exit interview scheduled. I'm not surprised, there hasn't been any 1-on-1's in about 2 years, and any feedback or complaints are never addressed.
Just need to bite my tongue for one more day.1 -
Every time I want to learn new technology I spend whole day just installing and reinstalling and then I end up with reinstalling whole linux, because 1 lil' thing doesn't work. Am I alone?5
-
DevRant battle royale mode
Every user looses 1 ++ every day. The user with lowest score is deleted and banned from DevRant for a week.
Propose other outrageous, but intriguing changes to DevRant.8 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/4719838/...
First day of our hike complete. We met a reindeer, got covered by a huge cloud, and finally had the sky open up to cover us in rain as well. Not too eventful, thankfully. Time for a well earned shower.
11 -
We might achieve world peace one day and still won't have agreed over indentation.
Indentation = TAB. Just 1 character (N spaces = N characters = more disk space, duh!). And then each dev can chose their own TAB width (in spaces) in their IDE of choice. Beautiful.
11 -
Time taken to modify the code : 10 minutes
Time taken searching the code to understand where to put the modification : 1/2 day
Viva VB6!2 -
If I do it in python : Finish in one day!
If I do it in C++ :
1 week for installation and configuration
3 days for coding
Another 1 day for troubleshooting...
But I will still prefer do it in C++.5 -
One day I will make my very own js framework and I will make a built in function to automatically make to-do lists. I will provide a 1 line tutorial and claim it is the best.
-
Burnout signs:
1) laying in bed all day
2) watching old natgeo documentaries
3) ordering a dildo for my loud ass neighbours6 -
Something I ranted about 1 year and 2 days ago just saved my life today. Those lost hours that day saved me a few hours today.
I wonder though: if I hadn't written about it on devRant, would I still remember it today?3 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
"UPDATE table SET field = 1"
Neglected to include "WHERE ClientId = XXX"
1800 users loose access to thier software in the middle of the day
Restored in 10 minutes thanks to disaster recovery policy.3 -
last day, 1 h 50 minutes left
now they ask about passwords, how is it with the backups and so on.
Well told him 3 months ago that the backups is on my server at home and I will remove the backups today ...8 -
On call at 2100. Call at 2101. Co-worker off at 2100, call at 2059. Neither were problems with our infrastructure. They were with the callers' teams fucking up.2
-
One of the embarrassing moment for me..
Whenever some colleague pings me whenever I was busy coding I would reply "1 sec", finish whatever I was doing then talk to them.
But what happened one day was I sent "1 sex" instead to couple of the colleagues... When I realised it was very embarrassing..
Since then I have stopped using "1 sec" and use "1 min" instead.1 -
Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.2
-
You think arrays starting with 1 are annoying?
HA!
How about time in a day starting with 12?
12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45,...,11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45, ..., 11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00 again
What if arrays started with 12? I bet Americans would love that!
arr[12]=fuck
arr[1]=this
arr[2]=shit
arr[3]=!!!14 -
day 1: try not to use ad blocker, and install few programs from several websites.
day 2: format my pc9 -
I'm a graduate developer with 1 year experience. Was asked to improve the performance of a feature which was written by external consultants on £1000 per day, and in its worst case takes 2 hours to complete. I rewrote it and got it down to 1 minute 27 seconds.
Manager: "Well yeah, but can you not get it any faster?"
...6 -
Several actually
- root DB access on production
- git commit -am "Stuff" (message)
- Not doing backups
- Using personal licensed software for company work
- 1 commit per day or weekend
- Taking work to home1 -
Have to work from home for at least a few weeks..
i hate working from home..
my team Is all the social life i have. Already miss them after 1 day.5 -
Step #1) Teach Alexa to respond to "When is Memorial day" with an incorrect date in the future
Step #2) Ask Alexa, next to your wife.
Step #3) See how long you can keep your wife going on "the government moved Memorial Day due to Coronavirus" before she realizes your just a prankster.1 -
- Procrastinate 1 work day
- Try to crunch 2 work days into one
- Feel frustrated because there is not enough time
- Repeat2 -
Damn that's a lot of hours every day. He/she has top 1 on Wakatime leaderboards.
Good job, whoever you are.
(Oh, and guess that a Mac CAN be used as a dev machine 😉)
7 -
At my job in the past week there have been at least one 1 hour-long meeting every day with today hitting the record with 3 meetings.
This is fucking insane. I signed to a developer job, not a guy-sittimg-and-listening job.2 -
Client: How long will it take you to build this?
Me: Maximum of 7days
Day 1 to Day 5, To myself: I have so much time, lemme build a Js engine in Rust and open-source it. It shouldn't take that long.
Day 6, After many failed attempts at debugging RegExp:
Starts working on the client's product, scraps off sleeping hour (why do I sleep in the first place)
Day 7: At 23:59...calls clients, he doesn't answer, probably sleeping... Sends message "Product ready to be tested at your call, I've not slept in 7 straight days because I like you"4 -
Challenge;
You will write names into the comments,. After 1 Day I will Set the highest rated Name as my actually Name here in devRant.
Example
Name:
WorstCoderEver
or
Name:
VisualStudio
Let the Games begin24 -
*The week after php7 has been released*
Customer: we could replace php5 with php7 to increase performance of the entire application!
Me: of course, let's do this 1 day before going live, I'm sure you'll see great improvements -_-1 -
On the -2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
offfffline servers,
NO notifications,
one, lousy fucking dayyyyyy
(... on the first day back to workkkkkkk..innnggg...)
Database corrup-ted,
users' fucking pissed....
and a partridge in a pear tree!
$merryXmas[-1]2 -
Expectations VS. Reality : A new Software Project (After all designs and requirements are clear and fixed.)
EXPECTATIONS:
Day 1: Create workspace, Configure tools
Day 2: Implement high priority Feature
Day 3: Write UT and peer review
Day 4: Push first feature to Prod.
REALITY:
Day 1: Create workspace, Setup configurations
Day 2: Still setting up configurations
Week 1: Almost done setting up configurations
Week 2: New migrations issue, again reconfigure before coding starts
Week 3: Take a vacation
Month 2: Finally things are working but God knows what was the issue...1 -
The loop of having an idea, building a prototype over 3 months, deploying it and realizing there has been a better alternative in the market on day 1.4
-
Manager: You can ask the Level 1 team in India to assist you, they can take take some load of you.
Me: *spends 30 minutes explaining a 5 minute job, several times, each day*
Manager, after noticing my stress: Really, just ask the Level 1 team to assist you!1 -
Joins à new company, hoping to have a leisurely day 1.
Gets a laptop and lists of bugs and features assigned to him, as soon as he comes in 😶1 -
My boss did not care about making things secure in our early development stage, even though I told him several times.
After 1 day our elastic search cluster was filled with random crappy data.
Fix: Apply security schemes provided by AWS1 -
!rant
I wonder what it feels like to be a programmer in north korea...
1 bug, 1 day gulag?
Just kidding :)
I hope they enjoy stackoverflow & news over TOR.5 -
the real truth is that web dev has been running around in circles on itself for over a decade now
"but every framework is 'new' and 'shiny'!!!!"
nah, just more sugar on the same exact concepts that have been around since day 17 -
How many hours do you put in daily at your day job? Do you go home and work on personal projects? How much time do you put into that? Are you married? Do you have children?
I'll go first:
- 8
- sometimes, probably about 1 hour a day.
- yes
- 3 kids
Your turn!27 -
In a lecture hall
1. Try Listening to lecture
2. Finds it uninteresting
3. Think that you can later learn from video tutorials
4. One day before exam -- No time to learn..3 -
Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]
1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?
1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment
customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow
damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no! -
Project deadline = 7 days
Day 0: start coding
Day 1: few bugs and crashes
Day 2: fixed those bugs project is 30% done
Day 3: ok I have time... sleep
Day 4: sleep
Day 5: sleep
Day 6: 48h coding to finish the project on time.4 -
Day 1. Push branch. Make pull request😀
Day 5. Got reply to fix some silly stuff🤡
Day 6. Apply changes. Ask for review again.😊
Day 7. Needed to work for another project for two weeks🤝
Day 25. Came back and pull request and branch were deleted from server 🧐🧐
Day 26. I merge my local branch copy into master and push it to server. So long bitches! 💅💅6 -
Today is release day...big sprint (complete UI redesign) ... Already 1 and half month late ... fingers crossed (specially for in house clients)3
-
Day 2 of my 1000 job applications TikTok challenge
Goal:
- apply to 9 different jobs per day
- see if i can break the Guinness World Record of being rejected 1 thousand (1000) times
Stats so far:
- 18 job applications
- 3 replies
- 3 rejections
- 0 hires
12 -
*1 hour passes*
Me: adds new code
*1 day passes*
Me: Why did it work?
*some random weekend*
On call developer: Who fucking wrote this code!4 -
#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <sys/time.h>
void setDate(const char* dataStr) // format like MMDDYY
{
char buf[3] = {0};
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 0, 2);
unsigned short month = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 2, 2);
unsigned short day = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 4, 2);
unsigned short year = atoi(buf);
time_t mytime = time(0);
struct tm* tm_ptr = localtime(&mytime);
if (tm_ptr)
{
tm_ptr->tm_mon = month - 1;
tm_ptr->tm_mday = day;
tm_ptr->tm_year = year + (2000 - 1900);
const struct timeval tv = {mktime(tm_ptr), 0};
settimeofday(&tv, 0);
}
}
int main(int argc, char** argv)
{
if (argc < 1)
{
printf("enter a date using the format MMDDYY\n");
return 1;
}
setDate(argv[1]);
return 0;
}
7 -
I'm debugging a script...
It takes 1+ minute to start because it loads data from remote API and apparently loading 80k objects takes a lot of time, even though I need only headers
I could optimize it. Like, add a local cache. But I will not.
Instead I will waste 1 minute, then another minute, then another minute, each time hoping it's the last pass, but no. I will waste the whole day on it and at the end of the day I will still NOT have the slightest idea why it is slow. That is what will happen, I predict it.
Good times3 -
Nice start to the day, I actually had to use science to open a milk bottle:
Problem: Cap doesn't turn no matter how hard I try
1. Increase the grip strength without hurting my hand by placing a paper towel between my hand and the cap
Still won't turn
2. Run hot water and place the lid area under it for 20s
Repeat #1, it now works!9 -
My plan/resolutions for 2018?
Have at least 1 commit per day w/ maybe exceptions like special holidays and such 😁
(No commits just to have a commit like adding a line of commentary or stuff like that)
#iwannabetheguyshetellsyounottoworryabout -
I'm so happy that I have the first working version of the program. Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.
Day 1: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.
Day 2: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.
.........
Day 200: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.
😞 -
Had a very productive day today:
1. Fixed a small bug
2. Ordered Tab S6
3. Watched the entire season of a Netflix show4 -
ideal sprint fallacy.
total days 10 , total hours(excluding breaks ) 8 hrs per day= 80 hrs per dev
code freeze day = day 8, testing+ fixing days : 8,9,10. release day : day 10
so ideal dev time = 7days/56 hr
meetings= - 1hr per day => 49 hrs per dev
- 1 day for planning i.e d1 . so dev time left . 6 days 42 hrs.
-----------
all good planning. now here comes the messups
1. last release took some time. so planning could not happen on d1. all devs are waiting. . devtime = 5 days 35 hrs.
2. during planning:
mgr: hey devx what's the status on task 1?
d: i integrated mock apis. if server has made the apis, i will test them .
mgr : server says the apis are done. whats your guestimate for the task completion?
d : max 1-2 hrs?
m : cool. i assign you 4 hrs for this. now what about task 2?
d : task told to me is done and working . however sub mgr mentioned that a new screen will be added. so that will take time
m : no we probably won't be taking the screen. what's your giestimate?
d : a few more testing on existing features. maybe 1-2 hrs ?
m: cool
another 4 hrs for u. what about task 3?
d : <same story>
m : cool. another 4 hrs for u. so a total of 12 hrs out of 35 hrs? you must be relaxed this sprint.
d : yeah i guess.
m cool.
-------
timelines.
d1: wasted i previous sprint
d2 : sprint planning
d3 : 3+ hrs of meetings, apis for task 1 weren't available sub manager randomly decided that yes we can add another screen but didn't discussed. updates on all 3 tasks : no change in status
d4 : same story. dev apis starts failing so testing comes to halt.
d5 : apis for task1 available . task 3 got additional improvement points from mgr out of random. some prod issue happens which takes 4+ hrs. update on tasks : some more work done on task 3, task 1 and 2 remains same.
d6 : task1 apis are different from mocks. additionally 2 apis start breaking and its come to know thatgrs did not explain the task properly. finally after another 3+ hrs of discussion , we come to some conclusions and resolutions
d7 : prod issue again comes. 4+ hrs goes into it . task 2 and 3 are discussed for new screen additiona that can easily take 2+ days to be created . we agree tot ake 1 and drop 2nd task's changes i finish task 2 new screens in 6 hrs , hoping that finally everything will be fine.
d8 : prod issue again comes, and changes are requested in task 2 and 3
day 9 build finally goes to tester
day 10 first few bugs come with approval for some tasks
day 11(day 1 of new sprint) final build with fixes is shared. new bugs (unrelated to tasks. basically new features disguised as bugs) are raised . we reject and release the build.
day 2 sprint planning
mgr : hey dev x, u had only 12 hrs of work in your plate. why did the build got delayed?
🥲🫡5 -
In the before times of 2019, one of the guys in the office had this habit of sucking his teeth after lunch.
I can hardly describe it. Imagine making kissy sounds but with your tongue and teeth. Did this almost every day from 1-2.
Probably happened every 1-2 minutes. So just long enough to get back into the swing and boom *thick*.
I just invested in some really nice headphones eventually.2 -
C'mon CBA, get it together. If today is Friday and something happened on Thursday (AKA yesterday) that's "1 day ago". It is known!
7 -
So my company is now giving us flexibile work hours, but we still gotta do 9 hours a day, of which 1 can be outside the office. Wouldn't it be easier to just make it an 8 hour-day and be done with it?2
-
Day no.1 with Googles scholarship course ad udacity..
I learned that a line of code is "pew" so many lines of code is "pew pew pew". Now I'm ready to do serious android app development.2 -
Two mid level positions open 1+ years ago. Me and my coworker hired on the same day.
Now, only one promotion opens up.
Business world is brutal.1 -
How did you spend your weekend?
- 1 day wasted on trying to configure a project
- 1 day spent on formatting documentation ( including changelogs & mailing archives, project started in 1987? The repo still has files that were last updated 26 years ago )9 -
The first day back to work after almost 2 weeks off...
And Slack is down. Time to make it a 2 weeks + 1 day vacation.1 -
Scheduled my ITIL exam, Getty everything setup and ready to go... log in... exam starts in 1 day and 0 hours...
I guess being a day early is better than a day late? -
I had a list that was built off a for loop.
One day the list was off by 1, and continued to be for a solid week...
Instead of solving the problem.. Added +1 to the incrementer variable.
Hasn't happened since (3 years)1 -
PR by my team leader:
"OH NO! This method is not inline. This will slow our program by 1 ns!!! Fix that immediately!!"
FYI
Our program computes stuff for dozen of minutes, because of his short sight and bad design from day 1...2 -
Busy day yesterday. I helped lay over 6000ft of Fiber Optic cable on a military base:
1 x 5100ft 144 SM #OS2 #OSP & 2 x 500ft 24 SM OS2 OSP to link 3 bldgs/1 #splice via ~12 handholes. 4 guys, 6 hours, 100% roughed. Me +1 will fuse later.
CFOT life.5 -
Day 1:
Optimizing huge problems for the company. Get mail. *sigh*; Why is your script using up half the CPU on our thin clients? *place in complaints folder and go on*
Day 2:
Boss asks about it during scrum meeting. *Oh shits*
Need a cluster. Been asking for it for months...
Day 3:
Start runs on all thin clients. *Thou shall feel my wrath*
Complaints folder floods.
Day 4:
Expect rage from boss.
"IT seems to have found a cluster for you at last."
Finally! -
studied node.js (express) and socket.io today, then implemented a real time chat service in our site. I can say that this is the best and at the same time worst day of my life. I started 1:00 pm and ended 4:30 am.3
-
[day 1] my team lead insisted that we work "together" on a story. told me to code my approach while he code his then evaluate both once done.
[day 3] we presented our codes to the team but in the end his code got deployed.
[day 4- 7]we got a lot of defects. we did a lot of fixing
[day 8] undeployed his code then deployed mine.
all problems got solved.1 -
I created a tool where you just click a button and it records your in time and keeps in the local storage of a browser.
It gives you remaining time in office plus when will be your half day or short day based on your in-time. Whenever you visit in a whole day.
For motivation, I mention the remaining time in office like. Ex. "10 minutes more in the office or 1 more hour".
I shared this with one or two of my colleagues and within in a week, I saw it open in every sales, HR and IT departments systems.
That day I get the taste of true entrepreneurship. -
Wow. I've only been active for a day and I've already got over 300 +1's and a rant in the top. Thank you to the devRant community and thank you devRant for being so cool!3
-
1. Putting bits in proper places is fun
2. It's cool to translate curiosity and caffeine into money
3. Coding is modern-day magic in many ways -
We were contracted into this big corporate company about 12km down the highway from us in the most congested part of the city.
We had a 1 hour meeting scheduled for the Wednesday that we had to drive in for, on the day before that we had to drive in for a 1 hour planning meeting for the next days meeting.
We had a 1 hour meeting to plan a 1 hour meeting...1 -
just started a holiday project. creating a silly game using Processing 2. finally done with day 1 drawing, and baselining.
1 -
Somehow they felt like the first day of a month isn't always n°1 (and last day might be smaller than 10)
8 -
1 problem down, 3 more show up.
I love SQL.
In other news, client won't send data to utilize, so I must fill in dummy data.
How's your day? -
Pull Request Message -
Day 1: "Updates to the UI and the load performance of the page."
Day 127: "shdheiahwjak"6 -
Software Development Process
0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool
*Not my original content, but it made me smile and I need one more point on this uncomfortably hot day2 -
My day today:
- tell everyone to fuck off and are idiots politely from 10 to 4
- tell them if they won’t fuck off now I will start looking for a job - 1 hour
- listening them apologizing me - 1 hour
- code and solve problems - 1 hour
Mondays
Hopefully I start working on Tuesday.5 -
!rant
On top of having a good day, aka I didn't spend hours on 1 bug as usual... my devRant stickers made it! Thanks @dfox & Tim :)
2 -
(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."
(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data." -
Mobile batteries are the weak link. Need a power source that powers devices for weeks rather than 1 day. Whoever solves this is golden!1
-
Work for myself.
3 projects on the go, 1 interesting one I'm waiting for more content, 2 I have content but they're boring projects and the content was provided in most disorganised, unintelligible fashion.
Day off watching movies it is :-)2 -
As👏F-ing👏Usual👏...
I have wasted a whole day of productivity to an issue that was solved with 1 keypress7 -
What if there was like a 1-2 day workshop that helped recruiters be more technically fluent? Like the basics of software development (not programming, but concepts and what engineers really do)?6
-
What's up with clients not providing all the information about the project and wants timeline in 1 day.2
-
Off Topic Rant: so the condo I'm currently renting in have 2 elevators but only 1 is functioning. They turned off the other elevator so that they can save some electric bill. I doubt it is being fixed because it is still not working up to this day. Now there's a waiting time for the elevator because only 1 of them is working. Rathole and shithole Asian country I'm in.8
-
My creation after 1 day.
Enter any string ending with period and this program will remove any spaces that exceed.
Looks pretty beautiful and decorative too. :)
6 -
My first interview question to a project on the second day at my new job:
"Implement a sum function that will work like this:
sum(1)(2)(3)(4)...(n)"
I could not answer this or any of the following questions...12 -
Day #1: You start working on something new, you feel stupid because you don't know anything.
Day #2: You learned the basic concepts. Start feeling so well.
Day #3-9...: Start feeling like you know everything.
Day #?: You start something new, you feel like the last piece of shit un the world.
Repeat -
Saw this wk100 tag all over devrant so here are my goals :
1. Drop my current job with a shitty boss (working with Flash in 2018)
2. Work with one of my teacher
3. Find a girlfriend
4. Riding my bycicle every day
5. Meditate every day6 -
Starting programming project at the collage with 6 month running time.
In team we agree every day to start "soon"...
1 month left.. everybody gets hectic..
..Until then i had finished the project alone..
TEAMWORK ;) :''''''D -
Like the last 100 weeks:
1. Be a better person
2. Learn something new every day if you can.
3. Get older :( -
1) Miss Ludum Dare 40 because you remembered it is on one day after it started.
2) See Ludum Dare 41 is this week on time.
3) Lack the time to do it.
4) Commit suicide.2 -
Day 1/2 using windows phone.
Wish me luck my fellow debs, while my nexus 6P gets the camera glass replaced I'm stuck using windows 10 phone, this will be an interesting 2 days!13 -
Naaarf
Refactoring the whole day.
Someone who prefers while(list(...) = each(...)) or for($x=0; $x < count($array); $x++) wrote the following code, too.
if ($indexed == null || $indexed == "0" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 0 || $indexed == "1" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 1) ....
It's buggy. Why does this not surprise me?
This stuff. Whole day.
My brain feels foggy.5 -
Just search 'mascleta, valencia' in youtube. I was working in a building near that. From day 1 to day 19 of March, every single day at 2:00 PM
-
being middleware... had to split up back end work in two parts which wasn't necessary but for 1 day it is split up and at the end 3 days delayed because of split up... controlling temper was the biggest challenge of that part.
-
Work log..
Day 1
1) Starts a new project.
2) Can't connect windows machine to the new router.
3) Wastes one day connecting.
Day 2
1) Switched to Linux (dual boot).
2) Parrot OS sound issue, don't know why.
3) Fixed the issue, upgraded the system. No brain fucked.
4) Sets up Dev Environment, Starts the project.
5) All this in 4 hrs.
#DumbWndows
Now, I'm staying here. #LoveLinux2 -
That day when you need to restart your vsphere virtualizer after 2 and 1/2 years of uptime, just to find it won't boot in any possible way, and you rush to install it fresh on an USB drive 20 mins before your sla runs out... that day was today, fml!
-
!devRant (tis a rant but not a dev-rant)
My main man is mad! 2 hour flight delay and missing the connecting flight. Guess we'll have to stay in Atlanta!
-
Our Support Team is currently processing your inquiry. We'll contact you within 1 business day.
23 hours later:
Is it still not working, or the problem was fixed by itself?1 -
$logger->log_info("Dumper ln:[" . __LINE__ ."] INFO:" , Dumper(%cmd));
[May 1,2018 12:46] Dumper ln:[1118] INFO: 2018-05-01-T12:46:04
...
day++;
frustration ++;
...
Replaces < , > with < . > in line 1.
[May 1,2018 12:53] Dumper ln:[1183] INFO:$VAR1 = 'SQL dude why?';
Mother of Perl !!! -
Today was my first day in OPS room.
Fucking felt weird!
Literally only 1% understood I guess.
Luckily seniors were there with me.
I hope, soon will understand more ;) -
If being late can be marked as "half day leave"; should leaving early also be marked as "half day leave"?
On a side note, my company already has just 3.4 out of 5 ratings on the basis of 3 ratings, on glassdoor... Now they're messing up with 2 employees on notice period. Both of us are planning to give 1. :)4 -
This is me every day when i have to get up early to work for 8h a day for $8.125 an hour as a backend java + devops engineer (2 in 1 jobs)
7 -
Why is it always so exhausting to communucate with clients?
It's been 11 fkin days since I started working on one really simple project, but it's still not done because client can't respond within 1 day...1 -
Split everything into small tasks, no longer than two days of work
Use Fibonacci numbers, 1-2-3-5-8-13
A highly effective developer will produce about 80% of a work day. If you think a task is done within a day add 25% and your estimate is ten. Remember that we use Fibonacci and round up to 13.1 -
im just gonna say it now and I may be mistaken but: I think airtable might one day supplant atlassians offerings.
1. simpler
2. sufficiently flexible, balabcing power and complexitly
3. low learning curve for the pay off.3 -
I use PhpStorm. I often open files by their name (ctrl+shift+n). I have a 2 monitor setup at work. On 1 I have chrome open, the other PhpStorm. I end up opening incognito mode on chrome about 10 times a day.3
-
+1 When after a long day of coding your bosses close the office to play Age Of Empires 2 on a LAN with you. And you even get to beat them. Trip down memory lane...2
-
Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...
Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well7 -
One day I will learn that step 1 of debugging this project is "blow away the whole thing and recompile". But that seriously takes for fucking ever.2
-
Day one of my first big project.
It felt weird but a little easy to grasp discord.py but I felt like I was just copying people as I read or watched tutorials on how to use things and how they work and while I was getting started In general. But I got the dice function working great. I had an error but I fixed it.
After I got it working I uploaded it to my friends server and they messed around with it and it felt so great because they were enjoying it and complimenting me and I’m not even done with it :)
I’m learning a lot but I’m also struggling with certain areas like finding good documentation or feeling like I’m just copying.. but I’m gonna keep doing these update things because I feel cool and official as I write these :^) -
So i just saved myself like a day of work.
My boss wanted me to make a new endpoint for a webpage I'm working. Ok, spend yesterday afternoon planning it out.
Come in this morning, ready to write it. Look through our api docs. Turns out we have almost the exact endpoint i need, minus 1 simple field. Add the field (1 line of code).
Everything is looking good, I'm a day ahead of where i planned to be. I just wish my boss had told me of the endpoint earlier.
Planning and good docs pay off. -
So I wrote these E2E tests to test my credit card expiration notification emails. So I wrote my code, and tested it. Tests failed. I spent the next 6 hours (spanning 2 days) debugging my tests. Come to find out that the tests were fine all along. The issue was my code.
Apparently everything has dates starting at 1 (day starts at 1, year starts at 1). But MONTHS. Months start at 0 -
While people are scared that 1 day our society might get overthrown by robots, I don't worry about that because no matter how hard you try you will always have some bugs3
-
You know it will be a fucking glorious day when you open up that legacy project from 3 years ago.
Calling those NPM package dependencies "outdated" is an understatement...
3 years equals to roughly 1 million new JS hipster frameworks.1 -
1. How do you feel about on unproductive day?
2. What you will do to overcome unproductive day?
3. Is Arrogance need for to be a good Devloper.?5 -
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
"I'll make a library out of this part of code, so it'll be portable! But another day, I have to make the whole thing work first"
*1 month later*
"Alright, why are there 4 different versions of this class lying around?" -
!rant
"This vendor system is broken and we need the data in its DB. Here's a report used to use from it. Build a new report in SSRS that we can use to pull out all the records."
+1 day tearing apart their data warehouse to find where things are.
+1 day duplicating their sample report
"Well, you did a good job duplicating what we had, but we want something that will pull every single bit of possibly related information that's in the system, and not just what was on the report we gave you."
ffs!1 -
Tip of the day:
If you want to keep your E-Mails private from Google, but need a Google Account:
1. Register an E-Mail at tuta.io
2. Use your newly created E-Mail by registering here: https://accounts.google.com/SignUpW...
Enjoy! -
Hugo framework:
1 hour to set it up
1 day to read the documentation
1 eternity to actually fucking deploy it5 -
To all my Machine Learning engineers, Ive been doing Frontend development for 6 years and I'm done. Wanting to get into machine learning because I've always loved data.
1. What is your day to day like?
2. Any advice for my learning journey?
Thank you🙏14 -
Home office adventures day 1:
Coffee machine good
Productivity low
don't know if this is too good for me, we'll see -
I don't exactly know... but i'm preety sure that it was more that 12.
reason - someone's final project which had only 1 day left before the deadline. -
Spent most of the day at work debugging a script which imports client data from their old system into our system. Someone made a change to a for loop which was looping through a period length by days, doing whatever it needed to do for each day. Unfortunately they changed the increment value from 1 day to 86400 days... probably thinking they were dealing with seconds not days. A day well spent.1
-
Today I had nothing to do and started writing a twitter bot that tweets a random picture from bing maps filtering seas which are uninteresting. I think this is good for 1 day development.
https://twitter.com/TheAliveEarth2 -
Was watching movie & drinking tea. Operations called about problems with app. 4 hours on a conference call with 3 other Devs..problem fixed.
1:03 am Time to sleep- manager will be expecting full day tomorrow2 -
5000+ Lines of Code for one IntegrationTest means you are dping testing wrong.
1 day work on software 1 week on tests.
At least I'm now sure I didn't create a avoidable bug.2 -
Went through 60 python packages to see which fails installing on the serve. Took hrs as I have no terminal access but just via jenkins pipeline. So "edit/gitpush requirements.txt and wait" many times. Eventually looped them 1 by 1 in shell. By end of day got the list that installs.
Finally sent the whole list....with confidence
-Takes full 10 mins & Fails......
(panic mode starts)
+Changed the sequence = fails, somewhere else
+1 by 1 again = installs.....
+few random without the culprit =works
+again, whole list = fails, somewhere else
Need to sleep, brain's thinking of eagles1 -
I walk by our devops dashboard several times per day. It keeps track of key metrics for all our live services. I noticed an interesting trend the last few weeks.
3 weeks ago: all metrics green
2 weeks ago: 1 metric red
1 week ago: 1 metric still red
this week: 1 metric still red but covered with a post it note -
Become a better programmer tip 1: write large amount of code everyday. Read and understand large amount of code every day. Plus have to do self reviews after each small tasks.5
-
Looking for a driver updater that will allow me to update without a "you'll need the pro version to download and install drivers" and allow me to do all drivers instead of 1 or 2 a day.
Recommendations?3 -
Day 1 . Change of my PC from laptop to PC. All ok
Day 2 . My work place chief says me they order me a new SSD... Damn I've just done the installation of ARCH.
Day 3 . I reinstall ARCH on the SSD drive leaving the old HD as home partition..
Last day a collegue says me to leave the home partition on SSD and linking the permanent forlders on the old HD...
Never ending story... -
What If one day the UNIX time turn it opposite, and starting count down to January 1, 2070. When it comes to zero, it will be the end of world.4
-
WINDOWS SUCKS!
Since yesterday I'm cursing my ISP for shitty internet speed and called him few times for the same.
As it turns out windows was updating in the background sucking my whole bandwidth!
It took me a day to download a 1 Gb file1 -
1) Give my logical reasoning abilities to my clients and users.
2) Whenever there is a change in project requirements, I should get 24 karat 100 Gram gold coins.
3) Give me 2 more wishes.
4) My code should work as expected on first attempt.
5) Give me ability to learn new technology in just 1 day.3 -
Hi guys, Just 1 more day to go and I need your votes!
Please click the link and vote for STRIFE - Battle for the Southern Star. Will only take 30 seconds. Thanks :upside_down:
https://thegdwc.com/6 -
Day 1 back from sick leave
Can't focus for shit, like even less so than usual
Not sure if it's the meds
General dissatisfaction here
The unengaging task
Personal issues
Or just sleeping like shit last night3 -
One of my teammates signed up for a day-long session on Angular 2, since he's been doing a lot with Angular 1 and wants to transition to the new version.
The instructor spent the first half of the day going through the w3schools tutorial on Angular 1, because "understanding the basics of Angular 1 will help understand Angular 2".
Btw, this was a paid workshop session. -
I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
had been working on a code for 10 hours and when i thought it was finally ready, without any errors, the compiler bi#ch killed my satisfaction for a f#@king ';'
never miss the semicolon, lessons from day 1. ://4 -
Actually an IT company took my interview and gave me an assignment and it had to be submitted in 24 hours.. i submitted 50% of it..
And i thought many time but that task was not a work of 1 day.. any suggestions please..7 -
What percentage of your time is spent actuslly coding?
In a week, I spend not more than 1 full working day writing codes. The rest is spent doing PoCs, designing (LLD and rarely HLD), solutioning and deployment.1 -
How my day goes....
- 8:00 am: get to office
- 8-8:30: check all social apps(devrant,telegram,discord,whatsapp,linkedin)
8:30-10am: watch tutorial videos, reading some books
10-11am: break
11-1pm: tutorials
1pm-1:30pm: lunch
1:30-2pm: social apps again
3pm: lockdown rules kick in i head home
👨💻 👨💻 👨💻2 -
Which makes more sense: Coding a website membership system based on a design pattern of renewing 1 year to the day of initial registration? Or coding one that renews everyone on June 30th regardless of when they first registered?3
-
So after the CIO pretty much does a table flip to the division about causing near daily customer impact we now have seven business day cool period for Changes and 13 cross functional teams stood up with 1, 15, 30, 60, and 90 day deliverables to an executive audience.
Guess what my team did today?
Offline a major Production database during the middle of the day, thinking they were in Development. Didn’t notice for 40 minutes. -
Aaaaaahhhhh..... I completed the 30 days google challenge in just 1 day pushing myself to the extreme point thinking the last date was 27 but they shifted the deadline by 2 days and now im sooo mad !!!
-
Hellish day. 5 computers in my network started getting random bsod and random time, sometimes 1 or more hours apart, sometimes few minutes. After middle of the day only 2 computers of the 5 keeps getting bsod. Is this somekind of virus, I ran few scanners didn't found anything. And why this is happening only today and only these computers. Wtf7
-
When you have to be at work becuase it's work, but you finish all your work in 1 day regularly, and it takes QA 2-3 days to get back to you.... Massive downtime.2
-
Day 1 of Engineering Programming 100. One "System.out.println("Hello world");" later, and I'm like "Yeah I'm a hacker so what?"
-
void main()
{
if( isWeekday() ) {
if( alarmRinging() || kidsKnocking() ) {
startMorningRoutine();
escapeToOffice();
while ( !meetingsInProgress() ) {
code();
} //meetings interrupt the whole day, every time...
escapeMeetings(); //Go home.
startEveningRoutine();
} else {
sleep(1);
}
} else {
playWithKids();
doYardWork();
if( kidsSleeping() ) {
sleep(1);
}
}
} //end main. Like a microcontroller, this forever loops. :) -
A question, how do I overcome the mindset of doing code challenge in hacker rank every day? 1. Hard to understand the challenge about. 2. Even easy question, very unwilling to do it. 3. If gets stuck, should I look at the answer?
-
1. I want to know how many JS frameworks will the world have
2. Will I stop drinking alcohol one day?
3. Will programmers create robots to conquer a new world?1 -
Week2 day 1 of beeing in the database team to learn more sql. Turns out the task they want me to complete is rather easy. So this is day 2 of doing exactly nothing.
Also im not allowed to do the task all on my own since the other apprentice has to learn it too.
These short blocks never have any challenging tasks to do *sigh* -
I have my algorithms exam a day after so I'm on Hackerearth trying to solve some questions and many questions there explicitly require you to consider arrays to be 1 indexed. I'm like dude wtf? why?2
-
Estimating a 1 day change as 4 weeks when the scrummaster, product owner & BA haven't bothered to run the simplest dilligence check and can't be arsed to even give a quantitative valuation.1
-
Oh hey, I missed my devRant cake day. And I don't know when it actually was because it displays as 1/2/2019, so it could be January 2nd or February 1st. Can we have a proper date format?5
-
Does somebody know, where I can find job offerings, which are basically some remote freelancer stuff? I'd like to work 1-2 hours per day "after work" from home.1
-
When we take user stories in sprints but dependencies are not resolved. I have to wait till n-1 the day for the upstream team to go to UAT and then push half my tasks to next sprint for testing \ prod . Fuck the planners - _-|-_-¦
-
Every day I’ll open up wordle, but before I enter a guess I’ll google “What is today’s wordle answer?” Then I’ll just enter in the answer to get a 1/6 every time. After that I’ll post my score to twitter and when people accuse me of cheating because I get a 1/6 every day I just lie and say “no I’m really smart that’s how I knew what the word was.”
Is that cheating??9 -
Brush up on languages/technologies the company is using/what the job post is for. Say what u like/dislike about those technologies. Most importantly, know that even though you will have many bad days, it only takes 1 good day for none of those to matter!!
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