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-
Ok so 10 yrs ago:-
Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.
*I create the thing and submit it*
<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>
<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>
<I grab a seat>
Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.
Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????
Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.
<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>25 -
Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.
Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.
*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*
Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?
Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.
Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.
He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.
Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.44 -
Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-
Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...35 -
(sensitive parts censored)
Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.
=====================
1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r11 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*16 -
Twitter: "Your account has been locked because it is displaying automated behaviour which violates blah blah blah..."
I literally have 7 Twitter accounts and you have picked the only one which ISN'T automated FFS4 -
Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:
Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻💻10 -
Teacher: Make a PPT presentation on *blah blah* with no animations or colors and present it next week.
*Next week*
I go and connect my laptop and open my presentation in a PDF file.
Teacher: Wait! You are using pdf. I said ppt.
Me: Yeah, you said no animations and a pdf file is much lighter than a ppt file.
Teacher: you are disqualified!
*facepalm*27 -
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.30 -
Client: Can you make a feature wherein users can blah blah blah blah blah
Client: and blah blah blah blah blah blah
Client: and also if possible blah blah blah blah
Me: okay.
Client: in 2 days?
Me: O_O10 -
When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...
Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"
Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩4 -
My thoughts when my uncle was introducing me to one of his friends.
(M = me, U = uncle, F = Uncle's friend)
U : Meet M, he is a software developer, he works at * blah *.
M (Internally): That is a very reasonable introduction.
U : * Continues speaking. *
M (Internally): No, staph! It was good enough. Don't go any further.
U : He does * blah blah *
M (Internally): That's not even remotely related to what I do.
U : If you have any tech related problems, he is your guy.
M (Internally): You should have kept shut.
U : If your phone slows down, he can fix it.
M (Internally): Why would you even say that !?
U : He can fix all you printer issues.
M (Internally): Excuse me. What. The. Fuck!?
U : You should definitely consult him before purchasing any tech.
M (Internally): That's it. I give up. There is no hope left.
F : * Gestures U to clam down. *
F : * Nods at M in a very assuring manner. As if he were saying, 'chill bro! Its all cool, I understand.' *
M (Internally): Hold on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there is some hope left.
F : So, tell me, how good are you with excel formulas?
M (Internally): * Dies *4 -
So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python
Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.
Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?
No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.
And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day18 -
Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah
Me: Cool. One sec.
*scrolls down*
Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!
Me: Bruh... No.11 -
Problems of Freelancer
Freelancer: Hey your app is ready.
Client : Can you add this ?
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment.
Client: As soon as this gets done.
Next Day...
Freelancer: Hey your app is ready.
Client : Thanks. This looks good if there is this feature. Can you help me with that?
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment.
Client: As soon as this gets done
Next Day..
Client : Blah Blah Blah
Freelancer: Sure, When am I getting payment
Frustration at peaks!!!10 -
Teacher : The world is fast moving, you should learn all the new things in technology. If not you'll be left behind. Try to learn about Cloud, AI, ML, Block chain, Angular, Vue, blah blah blah.....
**pulls out a HTML textbook and starts writing on the board.
<center>.............</center>5 -
"We bought the source code for this tremendous app that does blah blah blah "
"Cool, in which language is written?"
"Cobol"4 -
Client's message: "The next feature we're going to implement is blah blah blah."
Me (to my manager): "Lol it can't be done. It's impossible. We're bound by technical limitations. I've done plenty of research on this."
*2 hours later*
Me: "Here, I've built a demo of the feature. We can deploy it in a couple of days."6 -
Boss - so how long will this transport booking app take, native android and iOS ....plus backend, plus localization, plus live location tracking, blah blah.
Me - at least 4 months, or more
Boss - HOW can an app take MONTHS? That is totally unacceptable, it’s not gonna work this way, blah blah. I’m giving u 2 months, tops. No project should take more than 2 months.
—
Next app,
Boss - so this new e-commerce app needs to be made, u have api. How long?
Me - 2 months coz ——-
Boss - WHATTTTT!!!??? 2 months for an APP!!???? What is this? Not gonna work this way, you should make apps in a week. Other people make apps in a week.
Then fucking hire those other people. Lol.9 -
Boss: I need this page to behave in a completely new way.
Me: that's all fine and dandy but it requires a rewrite.
Boss: nah just look man, it's really simple all I want is blah, blah blah...
I'm too tired for this shit5 -
Client sends an email after 5 PM. We all left for home.
Client: blah blah blah...We urgently need this app to be done by COB on Monday. Our CEO is going to launching it on Tuesday to the board of Directors.
––Boss forwards me the email––
Boss: Can you get this done by this weekend.
––On Viber––
Boss: I have sent you an urgent email. Let me know.
––My Reply––
Me: This can't be done in a day or 2. Looking at the scope of work, I need at least 8 weeks.
––Boss Replies back––
Boss: You are not performing at the best of your ability. Come and see me on Monday, I need to talk to you about your performance on urgent projects.23 -
What should you do when you find dfox ++ your rant?
Wrong - To take screenshot and post about it and say you are feeling like a celebrity.
Correct - Stay calm. Chill.
:)8 -
I am starting to get more pissed off than I should be by one particular type of rant on here.
Quote:
My boss/senior/coworker did not know how to do XXX even though he is supposed to have more experience than me. I had to fix his goddamn problem blah blah blah.
If you'd have that attitude on my team I'd be spending a lot of time trying to get you off of it. A team MUST help each other. If you think you're better than others you either teach them or get the fuck out. If you don't understand or know something that's fine and it perfectly normal to have others explain it to you.9 -
"My cousin said he can do it for less. But I like you so blah blah"
Why don't you go your fucking cousin then. Stop wasting my time.3 -
The new IT lady of my previous company told me this:
"Hi, the Internet is not working"
"ok, did you make any recent changes to the router?"
"I didn't touch the router. I removed the switch in between so the internet should still work"
"You removed the switch"
"yeah but I didn't touch the router so what's the problem blah blah blah"
🙄7 -
Fell like I can finally vent this now I've calmed down.
Me: You've fucked the tree again
Junior: No I haven't
Me: It says there "Fixing merge conflicts"
Junior: Well it wasn't me I wouldn't have done a merge
Me: It has your name next to it...
Junior: Well that commit wasn't there a second ago
Me: it's dated for Friday...
Junior: Well if you hadn't committed to master and blah blah blah
Me: We'll if you knew know to use git we wouldn't have this problem.12 -
Fullstack dev: Hey I need your help with one of this method in the service layer (We use Java).
Me: Sure. What’s up!
Fullstack dev: When you get a user ....blah blah blah...
Me (typing code):
if (user != null) { ... }
Fullstack dev: Wait! This won’t work. You need to write this:
if (null != user) { ... }
In Java, you write like this. In JS it’ll work, not in Java.
Me: (also fuck this guy)
He’s among the famous devs in the company - (A very very very famous European bank).
I checked his commits for the frontend (React Native)
switch (some_expr) {
case foo:
return stuff()
break // <— note this
case bar:
return moreStuff()
break // <— note this
// more cases here with break after return statements
}
Me: Hey if you’re returning from a case why are you using a break. It’s dead code.
Fullstack dev: It’ll fall through otherwise.
———————
You’re a fucking dunce! Please drink a litre of Carborane in a rusty HIV infested container! Cheers!
PS More to come!33 -
Professor in college: We have our fest coming up. We need some volunteers for technical team to build website and android app.
*She says that and looks towards guys. Some guys raise hands saying they were interested.*
She didn't look towards girls even though some girls were raising their hands too.
Then she looked at girls finally....and she said "Oh you girls are interested too? We have cultural and decoration team. You can join that. "
I was triggered to next level.
I stood up and asked "Can't girls be part of technical team?"
She said "oh...yeah sure...." With not much hope that I would get into technical team.
But I ended up passing the screening round and got into technical team. She realised at that time that I knew my shit.....
There was even a time when I was in HODs office and she pointed at me and went "She is my student." trying to take credit for me being so Awesome ;)
LOL!
She was my guide for final year project too. We ended up writing a research paper and won best project award as well.
This was a year back. I have graduated and now I am working....
Just remembered....19 -
Why do some non-devs treat professional app development like some kids craft-making hobby that requires zero skill and knowledge or brain?
A friend (with ZERO knowledge about coding) said to me today, teach me, or tell me how to learn this app development, I'll learn it within a month and make my own apps plus do freelance app work in free time, apps fetch plenty of money easily. Blah blah.
Not the first time, other non dev friends have talked in the same way on other instances.
It's insulting and infuriating. I don't even know what to reply.7 -
"I want blah blah blah and I need it now! There's a commercial expression called TIME TO MARKET!"
And there's a programming expression called TIME TO DEVELOPMENT, you stupid brick.2 -
*Makes joke in dev community*
RandomGuy: "well actually, that's not correct. The truth is blah blah blah"
Can you please just for like 5mins enjoy the joke and have a laugh?
All you're doing is stroking your own ego.3 -
Yay weekend let's have some fun, until client calls, blah blah blah client somehow managed to fuck his CMS up
-
Wife: "How hard is to make a phone app?"
Me: "Depends on what it is, why?"
Wife: "I had an idea for a cool app that does blah blah blah"
Me: "That actually sounds like a cool app. Let's brainstorm tonight and come up with a plan and see if we need to hire some freelance devs for it"
Wife: "Cool, I also want to make an app to blahblah2, oh and one to blahblah3.. oh hmm what about.."
<facepalm>4 -
A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"
He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him
This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')5 -
Told the CEO I was looking at other jobs. I could see in realtime how all joy in his soul sipped out of him, followed by a 30 minute rant why I should stay and blah blah blah(heard it all before).
Little did he know, I'm expecting three final "yes"es by Friday, and I got a call 5 minutes before I talked to him saying "Hi, we have a contract ready for you to sign if you want it" 😂 Pretty proud of myself for getting a new job on a big firm, in under two weeks 😎9 -
Ohhhhh boy,
So today we had a robot having an issue with one of its movement phases due to some mechanical crap blah blah blah. Anyway instead of Fixing the mechanical issues, they want me to re-program the motions to compensate for it....... *sigh* anyway I got over it. My supervisor tried to tell me that some of the movements on the axis were straight no rotation involved. I look at the program and it sure as heck mentions a 178.9 degree rotation. I told him but He insisted that I’m wrong to the point of going and talking crap to another supervisor about me..... he came and apologized after I did it his way and he got his ass chewed out because he couldn’t accept a subordinate was right. As for me I got a little tingle from proving his stubborn ass wrong haha2 -
expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)
(Note: The comments are mine.)
See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).
It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.
Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.
Fuck me these are bad.
And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.19 -
Blah blah blah JavaScript is the worst blah blah blah clients suck blah blah blah everyone’s an idiot
Am I instafamous yet?8 -
A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.
The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.
Lost an hour to this bullshit.6 -
During a company wide status meeting where all product managers, architects and directors assemble:
Me: *A product architect leading a team of devs*
Directors: So are there any issues or risks you see in delivering the next build in target time for Client 1?
Me: There are too many changes in feature requirements. First they said we can use a shared NFS for storage. Now they are asking to switch over to SFTP pull mode.. blah blah..
Directors: Oh I see.. well we can support both solutions then.
Me: But the deadlin..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Will be a good marketing point for future.
Me: But there are too many regressions in integra..
Directors: *ignores what I say* We should also meet deadlines. That is the most important thing.
Me: Its not as easy as 1+1=2.. The team needs more time to..
Directors: *ignores what I say* Ok lets move on to the next point. What about Client 2?
Me:
4 -
A senior developer come to interrupt me.
Senior developer: blah...blah....blah about this concept...... that concept... So, any new things you learn lately that you would like to share?
Me: I am learning back C++
Immediately he stop me and said, "Why did you learn C++? It is obsolete, no one use it anymore"
Me (in my head): But, you just said what I learn. It doesn't matter if its obsolete or not. Infact you are wrong, C++ is not obsolete anytime soon. I was about to share on webassembly.
Senior developer: So, would you like to join me in a short sharing session this afternoon.
Me: No thanks, I am really busy (just want to avoid at any cost)8 -
PM - We are going to launch registration of users in mobile phone. We are going to use blah internal framework as with it we will have same experience in mobile and desktop will be same.
Me - Shouldn't the experience be different on desktop its easy. On mobile following that many steps may seem complicated to the user.
PM - No but the experience should remain same.
Me - face palm(sees the overly complicated framework just for building 4 pages spends time finds bug in the framework fixes them and takes four months of frustration but launches it)
PM - We feel like ideally mobile and desktop should have different experience. This allows us to register faster on mobile. As we have already aligned with the blah framework team and think best path is to build it from scratch.
Me -
3 -
Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?
Me
Yeah sure why not.
Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.
Just finished......Realised had to rant....1 -
In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”
5 -
Me, starting my internship in ML.. coworkers come to me asking what computer I need:
Me: Well, something more powerful than this i3, and most importantly some kind of GPU for training.
Them: Ok, what kind of GPU?
Me: Well, a 1080 or 2080 should be more than enough and good performance for the price.
Them: Oh.. We were more thinking about a Tesla V100 or something like that!
Me: (internally) WTF this costs more than what you'll pay me for the internship, this is so cool. (to them) Oh, yes, why not, great perfomance, blah blah blah.
I would prefer them to pay me more, but at least they're not going to hold me down with bad components! Nothing to rant about for now.. Hope it'll stay the same ^^5 -
I’m working for fucking idiots. Here is an actual conversation I had with my boss today.
Me: I checked the numbers, and barely anyone is using our app more than once. Not only is a minuscule amount of people downloading it (we have 300 downloads), but none of those people use it more than once. Use retention is important and we’re failing in that regard.
Boss: User retention doesn’t matter. Investors don’t care about that. Blah blah blah all we need is marketing blah blah. We just need a bunch of people to download once. That’s all that marketers care about....in fact, an potential investor himself told me that he doesn’t care (obvious lie)
Me: Well, can I talk to this investor? What’s his name? Is he in California or India/China?
Boss: oh you can’t be at the investor meeting. It’s high level. Just don’t worry about it. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
On the bright side, this whole exchange has motivated me even more in my quest to find a new job. And I guess it’s important to learn what not to do from idiots6 -
Telephonic "technical" interview at 5 in the evening
Interviewer : Tell me about yourself
Me : Blah blah...
Interviewer : Thank you for your time
(Call time on phone... 7 minutes)
Absolutely uninterested... no single counter question... Guess she just wanted to go home early... 😑6 -
❤️ Swift ❤️
for (i = 0; i < polygon.count; i++) {
// some print statement
} **
This highly advanced and futuristic piece of code made the Swift compiler eat 14+ GB of RAM while trying to syntax-highlight, before crashing my 8 GB-equipped Macbook.
** yeah, "C-style 'for' loopz syntaxx deprecated since Swift 3 blah blah". Let's reinvent an industry-standard for no goddam reason, because Swift is the FUTURE, oh, and because fuck you by the way.3 -
Interviewer: I think you are too young for this job, blah blah, your age is too low, blah blah, this job requires elder people, blah blah
(...keeps repeating the same bullshit for literally half an hour...)
Interviewer: look, I have to leave in five minutes. Convince me that you are not too young for this job.5 -
Grumpy cat was in a lot of our internal products, on loading screens and what not, because why not? PM got pissed and said if he sees that fucking cat again blah blah blah. Grumpy cat is now summoned with a Konami code. Grumpy cat will never die.2
-
me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......
*goes on to explain cool stuff*
her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?
me : I AM DONE
8 -
Yesterday I spent some time on the meta site for dba.stackexchange.com and found this one guy with 1 rep raging about how his questions aren't getting answered and how is answers are the best etc...
"I have 17 years of experience as a dba, blah, blah, blah, my answers are correct, blah, blah"
He got pretty destroyed by the mods and other users about how shit his answers were and how they weren't factually correct etc...
This just continues to show that no matter how much experience you have you won't always be right.
Same goes for my senior at work, he has 10 years more experience than me (I have 2) and he still asks for my point of view and help without being a dick about it.
I hope we'll all keep being nice people unlike that Stackexchange guy...2 -
After months and months of slaving away, I quit my start-up job and feel completely amazing- here's what happened:
Met a classmate in grad school and he talked about starting his own company and he had full funding and etc. After graduation, moved to the new city where the job was located.
There were all these promises of us being co-workers and working on cool things and many other promises made. Soon after starting the job, most of these promises we're just smoke and mirrors.
Started working day in day out. Worked from 8am-9pm most days and worked on weekends too. Treated me like a I was a dog, talked down to me, gave unrealistic deadlines, pressured me with attitude and threats of losing my job. Hell, they thought they were the smartest person to touch the earth basically- example being that they mixed jQuery with VueJS in our Django template.....who the F*** does that. Another thing being that they had issues with me soft deleting records since they wanted them completely hard deleted and we had gotten into a giant argument about that fml.
What led to me leaving the job was that I had gotten sick one of the weeks, and I still showed up to work. Each day I was gradually getting sicker and sicker. Still tried my best to get work done. Saturday morning I get the most passive aggressive and bitchy text from my co-worker. "if you don't complete blah blah blah by Monday, we are going to have issues. Then on Monday you will work on blah blah blah". They blew the fuse with me. They would always punish me for being sick or taking a vacation. I'm not a dog, not a machine, I'm a f****** person. Went into his office when the work week started and gave my resignation on the spot and felt like it was the best decision I've ever made.
Now I just feel like a giant toxic cloud has disappeared from my life. I did walk away with so much experience and knowledge but now I just feel extremely burnt out from programming. Is this what I even wanna do anymore?
Few lessons I learned along the way:
1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
2. Free lunches aren't worth it
3. Unlimited PTO doesn't really mean unlimited- there's always stipulations
4. Start-up life isnt as cool as they say- don't take TV portrayals as the real thing
5. Your mental health is extremely important
6. It's okay to admit to yourself that you're burnt out
7. Take a break
8. STARTUPS ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE
This is just my experience and what I learned, so telling my story. Phew, feels so good to get that off my chest6 -
I'm tutoring multiple courses in my school, including CCNA 1, html, JavaScript, IT essentials which is just an introduction to particles of a computer.
[Student]: So do you know that course about computers?
[Me]: mhm.....they all are kinda...you mean it essentials?
[Student]:Yes! The one where we type code between tags, right?
[Me]:Wait....html?
[Student]:Yes!
[Me]: yes, I am helping with that course.
[Student]: Oh cool...so how do I do thumbnails?
[Me]: /Opens the IDE/ same as a regular image except for it's a link that opens a bigger version of an image /blah blah blah/. You know how to insert the image on the page, right?
[Student]: Don't we just open the Google and search images?
[Me]:...
[Me]:....
[Me]:...omg my shift is over...
I wish I was making it up. -
I didn't..
A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.
I pick up whatever is required by my projects, but I do prefer backend & scripting to graphic fuckery.. // pixel left, pixel up...blah, not for me..3 -
CompanyYouNeverHeardOf sends you IrrelevantNewsletter512... so you hunt for the unsubscribe link, which you find buried in the boilerplate crap at the bottom of the mail, rendered in #eee on a #fff background, in 4-point type, and click that. End up on a web site that asks you like 8 times if you're sure you want to leave and please, reconsider, we're nice folk really, blah blah blah. And then you get *another* email from them saying they received your unsubscribe request, and *then* yet another to confirm that yes, you unsubscribed, and please feel free to re-sub anytime (as if!)
GOD I HATE MARKETEERS!!!1one10 -
1. Aim is to complete work as soon as possible and not worrying about good coding practices.
2. Senior Engineers take credits for everything that Junior Engineers work on. And that Junior Engineers are just shadows
3. Credits? Team lead and senior engineers take. Complains/issues/delay in product delivery? Junior Engineers are blamed
4. Testing? Test cases? What are they? Why do we need them? That's what my team lead asked.
5. Take work without even knowing what it is or what is to be done and then just keep carry forwarding it.
6. Junior engineer dares to point out any mistake, he/she is very rude and is taunted forever
And many more.....5 -
Story: Fastest I got a freelance/contract job
Company: *sends me an email that we saw you on GitHub, your profile is good and blah blah openings etc, if you are interested provide phone and suitable time.
*On call* starters conversation done in 2 minutes
C: how much experience do you have in blah blah frameworks
Me: x months
C: can you do blah blah work
Me: yeah
C: we want you to join from blah blah date and we can pay you x much money
Me: alright thanks, send me the formalities.4 -
My manager who promised me team change soon.....resigned.
I thought the worst had happened.
Then my team lead with whom I had issues was promoted as manager for our team.
I realised worst was yet to come.
And then today, in one day....I reached out to HR and then my Director and got my team changed
Now feels peaceful.
This is just temporary solution as I was mentally getting affected. I don't plan on staying in this company for longer....3 -
How weird is this?
I was working on a project. I wasn't able to find solution for a particular sub problem. It was late so I thought of sleeping.
I dreamt about the problem. I solved it in my dream. When I woke up in the morning, I remembered the solution and I solved it.4 -
*recieves notofication from tinder*
*"somebody likes you. Swipe to find who blah"*
*opens tinder*
*swipes everyone to right*
*no matches*
Fucking clickbait!4 -
>First grade
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!
There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.
We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..
10 -
First rant. 3 years in my first job as a developer. It's been great. I've learned a ton. But the past 6 months have been awful. Our client is forcing us to remote into a cloud pc, which we then use to remote into Ubuntu. All development must be done this way. Everything is extremely slow. To the point that you can type faster than the screen can update. I want to jump out of the window. I'd basically have to move to get a new job, which Im not really into. Just bought a house a year ago, family is here, blah blah. Just hoping if I ride it out, client will wise up and let us use our own computer again.9
-
Met colleague at work
Him: You programmers don't like sleeping at all. You should try to sleep and look fresh like me ... Blah blah blah... (You get the picture)
Me: *just smiles and watch him go*
(But what I really wanted to say)
Me: 'Well you know what, most programmers don't sleep much not because sleep deprivation is fun or we're in some kind of cult where it's some daily ritual. But when they need to send in an update; usually on a feature to make YOUR life easier OR just can't seem get their code to run right, and they keep telling themselves; "5 more minutes", "I have a good feeling about this modification" the minutes add up and before you realize it morning! And that's why some of us look like s*** in the morning'
(And then turn around to leave only to come back really quick like I just remembered something)
Me (again): "And don't think that we enjoy it. At least the ones I know don't. It's simply a fr****** work hazard!"5 -
Funniest meeting ever!
Some years ago, there was the regular department meeting where useless news from upper management were handed down. The team I was in was also there: team lead, co-worker and me. The team lead had a new girl and was daydreaming of their nights, my co-worker wasn't quite back from the football match on the weekend, and I was playing chess on my mobile.
Department lead was blah blah blah and when can we do this on your rig? We looked at each other and instantly realised that none had been paying attention.
My co-worker was the fastest to recover and straight-facedly turned to me: "Well Fast-Nop, that's your domain."
I picked the ball up before team lead could say something: "Sure, but schedule appointment is for our lead."
Our lead couldn't contradict us and then had to negotiate a schedule while trying to find out what it was about. *LOL*2 -
MySQL has the absolute worst error messages.
"You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds blah blah near '(some random code line)'".
How vague can you be? It doesn't help that I always find the error in a completely different place to where the message says it is.5 -
Opened Devrant to say...
"Office is so hopeless that I am not even in mood to rant about all those stuff"
But saw a post that I had typed last time but never posted it....
Things happen!
6 -
Don't you hate it when your co-worker does dumb things, but thinks it's the "clean code" way?
The following is a conversation between me and a co-worker, who thinks he's superior to everyone because he thinks he's the only one who read the Clean Code series. Let's call him Bill.
Me: I think the feature we need is quite simple, our application needs to call this third party API, parse the response and pass it to the next step. Why do you need to bury everything under an abstraction of 4 layers?
Bill: bEcAuSe It'S dEcOuPlInG, aNd MaKe ThE cOdE tEsTaBlE
Me: I don't know man, you only need to abstract the third party api client, and then mock it if you want. Some interfaces you define makes no sense at all. For example, this interface only has 1 concrete implementation, and I don't think it will ever have another. Besides, the concrete implementation only gets the input from the upper layer and passes it down the lower layer. Why the extra step? I feel like you're using interface just for the sake of interface.
Bill: PrOgRaMmInG tO iNtErFaCe, NoT cOnCrEtE iPlEmEnTaTiOn!!!
Me: You keep saying those words, I don't think they mean what you think they mean. But they certainly do not mean that every method argument must be an interface
Bill: BuT uNcLe BoB blah blah blah...
Me: *gives up all hope*14 -
After zero contact for approx 4-5 years I get an Instagram message:
Old work buddy: Hello, I have a website question for you
Me: Ok
OWB: Hope you’re well, btw
Me: *hmmmmm*
OWB: basically blah blah blah can’t get this part of this Wordpress theme to work
Me: I’ll have a quick look. Oh btw I have big news...
OWB: You up the duff?
Me: Yep!
OWB: Congrats...do you think you can help with the website?
Me: Probably not at the moment and it looks like a pig of a job to make the theme work properly.
OWB: *silence*17 -
I would love to see those that say:
Unused RAM is wasted RAM
There you go, used every fucking possible bit to a point mouse pointer doesn't fucking move.
Fucking hate when people say that, and don't be funny and throw a comment about those 300MB are wasted .. blah blah blah.... Yaaaa fuck off.
30 -
One of our senior dev enjoys berating the other devs because they don't check-in code according to his schedule (once a day, once an hour..he flip-flops a lot), then when they do, he 'reviews' their code, beating them up because of incomplete features, commented out code..petty..petty nonsense.
Ex. (this occurred couple of weeks ago).
Ralph: "The button click code in this event isn't complete"
Dev: "No, its not, the code in my development branch. You said it was best practice to check in code daily whether the code worked or not. I didn't finish the event last night and ..."
Ralph: "Exactly. Before you check any code into source control, it has to work and be 100% complete. What if someone moved that code into production? What happens if that code got deployed? I'm not even going talk about the lack of unit tests."
Dev: "Uh..well..the code is on the development channel, and I branched the project in my folder ...I didn't think it mattered.."
Ralph: "Ha ha...you see what happens when you don't think...listen..."
- blah blah blah for 10 minutes of hyperbole nonsense of source control check-in 'best practice'
This morning Ralph's computer's hard-drive crashed.
Ralph: "F-k! ..F-k! ... my f-king computer hard drive crashed!"
Me: "Ouch...did you loose anything important?"
Ralph: "A f-king week of code changes."
Me: "You checked everything into source control on Friday ...didn't you?"
Ralph: "F-k no!...I got busy...and...f-k!"
Me: "Look at the bright side, you'll have a good story to tell about the importance of daily check-ins"
Oh...if looks could kill. Karma...you're the best. -
DECLARING CLOUDFLARE WEEK
DISCLAIMER : THZ CLOUDBLEED
Hey guys remember when gitlab was something blah blah? Now lets talk about cloudflare for a week!9 -
Wasn't so much a question but...
Before WFH got so popular, I was interviewing at a place 50km from home, loyalty and stuff came up and the guy said something along the lines of "The only potential problem I can see is the distance. Now I get the sense you're quite a loyal person blah blah blah"
Half way into my third month they decided not to keep me after probation, after giving no negative feedback at any point prior to that then "we just need someone mors senior"
So yea, tune me about loyalty and then do that....
Also, if they needed senior why were they advirtising junior?2 -
Playing around with Bard:
Me:Who called me from ...?
Bard: <blah blah blah> Would you like me to run a reverse phone lookup on that number for you?
Me: Yes
Bard: I'm just a language model, so I can't help you with that.
Me: Then why did you ask?
Bard: "I understand that you don't need me to run a reverse phone lookup, and that's perfectly fine. I just wanted to offer the service in case you were interested."
I tweaked the question and Bard responded with a Python script and a phone number regular expression.
Our jobs are safe for now.1 -
It's my third week in my new company doing my internship. We have daily SCRUM meetings, project briefings, weekly meetings, requirement documents and other stuff - all in French. I only understand less than 50% of what's happening during most of the meetings. There's enormous pressure during meetings where I have to focus on every syllable they utter to try and grasp what's going on. So far they're still under the assumption that I understand more than I actually do. Haven't run into any major fuckups so far. I feel like an exe file in a Linux environment.7
-
DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.
RAZER
When I plugged my $250 keyboard (Which I have had for years and love beyond measure) into my new install of Windows, it popped up with a cute little message to install Razer Synapse, which manages the lighting on Razer devices, like my keyboards (One mechanical and one not - for silence during voice chat), mouse and headset.
"Wow, this looks different", I mutter to myself, as I unknowingly and non-optionally install software which is IN BETA.
I notice that my other keyboard and mouse don't show up. I don't customize my mouse much, I leave it in spectrum cycling. Easy, works well. My other keyboard is much cheaper and does not offer very much customization (three colors. whoop. I don't touch that either much)
Since I only really touch this keyboard, I am not bothered in the slightest and carry on for a couple months. Fast forwards to yesterday when my mouse stops lighting up. Fuck, now its just a black blob. I'll open synapse tomorrow and fix that.
No I won't
After uninstalling devices, uninstalling synapse, restart restart restart, uninstall again, install again, blah blah blah, download a tool that didn't detect the device either, etc etc, for about two hours, I was about ready to accept my dark fate. But then, I saw (screenshot attached) this little itty-bitty beta tag next to the software (again) installed by default.
I about flipped my shit, uninstalled Razer Synapse 3 so hard it sent a tsunami towards some coastal country, and then angrily installed Razer Synapse 2.
That looks more familiar. Oh, there we are, all three devices. Ah, very well, my mouse is working correctly once again. I know its at the header of this rant, but let's reiterate (or, reiterage, in this case):
DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.
Thank you.
3 -
`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`
63 vulnerabilities.
good fucking job.
To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!
------
`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.
ugh.6 -
my boss sent us an email saying that we have to send him a summary of our work everyday and how much time we invested on the job because sometimes we work at home and he won't know if we really worked.
--------today-------
me: *sleeps for 4 hrs*
me: *configures apache in amazon linux real quick*
me: i worked for 4 hours blah blah and i fixed the apache configurations blah and i coded in js and php for the datatables thing blah blah *sends email*
boss: nice work! have a great weekend.
now thats how you do it when u procrastinate a lot!9 -
What manager says: You should support IE because a very large portion of our userbase is already there and they somewhat comply with web standards so it shouldn't be that hard. Also most good sites support IE so we should support it too.
What web developer hears: blah blah blah SUPPORT IE blah blah blah SUPPORT IE9 -
So we have Oncall system. Every month I get one working weekend.
Now senior engineers and lead are assholes. They think they can bully us. They are putting their Oncall work on our heads.
I refused to do it. But my partner in Oncall agreed to take up their weekend Oncall and in return they would do our weekday. I don't see how that is fair enough.
I refused to do it still. My partner apparently ended up doing it alone this weekend.
I don't FUCKING need to lick anyone's ass here! I don't FUCKING need to do these things to be in their good books! Waiting for the time when I saw GOODBYE TO THESE FUCKING ASSHOLEZZZZ4 -
Uni, programming 1.. professor had worst ppt presentation..I think it was about java..5? /* yeah, I'm old */
He was droning off in the most monotone voice..reading off the ppt, about types and blah blah blah..
Took us about 15mins to figure out he stopped teaching and was 'yelling' with the same monotone voice at one of my classmates to take their laptops and go play need for speed in the lobby..
I was sure I'd flunk the class and will never be able to complete the course, let alone get a job as a dev..he made programming look like the most boring thing on earth.. -
Retarded person I met today : "JS is gay cos you require strict mode for blah blah blah"
Me (and my webdev friend): pfft...
[Shows our ESLint Styling rules]
him: "o-oh... How the f-"6 -
QA ticket. Images are pixelated blah blah blah increase pixelation to make them pretty.
Next ticket: why is the site so slow. Need to be optimized blah blah blah8 -
End User: The program isn't working
Me: What were you trying to do?
End User: blah blah blah
Me: Are you using IE?
End User: Yes, I always use IE everything should work with it.
Me: Didn't you see the email to the listserv explicitly saying not to use IE?
End User: I did, but I only like to use IE.
Me: (bangs head against desk & loses all hope)3 -
Me: Boss you told me to come and talk to you regarding my performance on Monday but you went on leave.
Boss: I said that out of frustration. I forgot that you have already resigned so no use saying anything to you.
Me: 😂😂😂
Related Rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1527062/...2 -
10 year anniversary 'celebration' for a couple of employees (one dev, one a DBA) and the VP of the department was saying kind words about them, talking about the 'good old days'.
VP to the DBA: "I apologize, when you started, you walked into my database architecture. I didn't know that much back then and never thought about the architecture much beyond a few years. Its amazing my design has lasted over 20 years and triple digit business growth..blah blah blah"
Inner voice: "Mother F-er!...My database was designed IN SPITE of your meddling and demanding to create 1,500 field tables. Shut the F up you egotistical bastard!"
I can't even count how many times I had to stop him from, for example, adding a 'ProductID' field to a Customer table.
Me: "Why did you add a product id field?"
VP: "How else will we know what product the customer wants to buy?"
Me: "You mean like a wish list? What if the customer wants more than one product?"
VP: "Oh, that’s easy, we'll create more fields when that happens. ProductID2. Microsoft made it really easy to add fields."
Me: "We already have a wish list table schema. Customer can have as many wish lists and as many products as they want."
VP: "I don't understand. All I want is a field for me to store the product I'm buying. I don't know why you make this so hard, its just one more field."
Now the VP is bragging all the success was due to his expertise?! Gaaaaahhhh!
I quelled my rage with ample quantities of donuts, juice, and chocolate milk.1 -
corporate emails and what they mean
- “changes to our privacy policy” — we raised capital, time for you to leave! good times are over.
- “changes to our pricing” — we are basically acquired, leave now.
- “blah blah community help blah blah” — fuck you, we can't even be bothered to fix bugs in our product.
- “blah blah 30% off blah blah” — yup, the unsubscribe button was broken last time you clicked it. -
"How we use Tensorflow, Blockchain, Cloud, nVidia GPU, Ethereum, Big Data, AI and Monkeys to do blah blah... "4
-
What do you look for in a programming language
People: features, syntax, runtime blah blah
Me: Active meme base
-
This was a straight-to-devrant moment...
Referred a work colleague to a man page for a command they were having trouble with.
Their reply: "I really hate man pages. They are not useful to me. They are full of blah blah blah blah blah. I just want 'run this' or 'run that'."
Then my eyes exploded right out my head, making room for my brain exploding right behind them.2 -
Head of HR for a company I’ve never heard of has hounded me for days on Cord.io.
I’ve kept fobbing her off and showing disinterest but she kept on about how they’re so interested in talking to me because they need people with my experience. Blah blah.
I finally give in and arrange a call.
First question she asks is “So why do you want to work for us ?”
Wait, what ????
You came to me! I’ve never even heard of this tin shed company.4 -
Some idiots ripped off our work and code that was open sourced and wrote a paper on it and got it published from some cheap publisher. Even for me to some benefit of doubt or consider that probably they worked on advancing our research….they didn’t even give us any credits!
Heights of shamelessness!
FYI, we already had an IEEE paper published!
I don’t mind if you guys have any suggestions on how I can get back at them. I don’t think a rant is going to calm me down for what they have done.7 -
(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>4 -
Worst documentation I've seen?
Our "Coding Standards" 20+ page document. The team who put it together got so detailed, there wasn't much 'wiggle room' for natural deviations in a developer's coding style. For example, a section devoted to no abbreviations. So if you had a variable 'invoiceId', they complained you violated 'standards', even though 'invoiceId' matched a field name in a database table. Using Dapper or another ORM that relied on the 1:1 name match? Nope, you were still forced to inject your own mappers so the code didn't violate standards.
As you can probably guess, such a long, detailed document would have contradictions. I pointed out one of the contradictions. Example:
Page 5: Section B, sub-section B-5, paragraph 3 : "To minimize network traffic, when querying the database, request all the data necessary for the application."
Page 8: Section K, sub-section K-2, paragraph 4 : "For maximum performance, when querying the database, request only the most minimum amount of data necessary for the application ."
In a review I pointed out this contradiction (there were several more)
Me: "If we satisfy A, one could say the code is in violation of B. Which is it?"
<Pointy-Hair-Boss throws his pencil on the table>
PHB: "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH STANDARDS! It couldn't be more clear! We are a company of standards because without standards <blah blah..straw man argument..blah blah>"
<deciding not to die on that hill, I move on>
Me: "On page 12, paragraph 9 code is in violation if a method has more than 3 parameters. That seems a little restrictive given our interaction with 3rd party products."
PHB: "There you go again. As stated in the document, ALL code used by the company will comply to our standards. What part of 'ALL' do you not understand?"
Was he bluffing about requiring 3rd party vendors complying with our standards? Heck no. That's a story for another day.10 -
There are clients who always suggest an idea then after they suggest they will say "...again don't do this yet, its not a big deal blah blah blah"
Then the other day they will ask if their idea is already implemented.
🤦🏻♂️6 -
We are probably reading alot of "this co-worker was so bad because blah blah blah..." from people who actualy were the real shitty co-worker and are still blaming others for his/hers mistakes.
Not a week rant that i can trust...3 -
Indian outsourcing web companies on their websites be like:
"We provide services in IOT, Machine Learning, Data Analysis, Web security analysis, blah blah"
Me excitingly joins the company and finds out, they all are PHP developers developing unsecured websites.1 -
Most upsetting interview rejection?
Back when I graduated college, I did the usual rounds of interviews with insurance companies, banks, various other institutional businesses set up by the college's career center.
One local insurance company interview I thought went great. Usual 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' type questions, told her about my job history, very high level type stuff.
Couple of weeks later I get a letter in the mail and after the usual 'It was great to meet you blah blah blah', it ended with
'State Farm will never consider you for a position with our company.'
Never?! My then fiance (now wife) yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" and I racked my brain for anything I might have said or done. The HR lady was attractive, but I didn't stare at any body parts and I didn't make any weird sexual advances (I was nervous enough without *that* going thru my mind).
The college career center floods the local companies with graduates and I was #5 in the waiting room that day. My only guess was they got me confused with someone else.
My fiance wanted me to call them immediately to straighten out any misunderstanding, but I knew what was done, was done. It's not like they would realize "Oh, that's right, it was Bob that kept looking at Karen's breasts, not you...come work for us!" Besides, why would I want to work someplace that didn't know/care who I was?6 -
App fails, Check logs...No error logged. Check source code and debug....
And then you see following piece of code....
try{
//Code to hit an API
}catch(Exception ex){
/*DO NOTHING. Not even log stack trace*/
}7 -
Colleague: Ivy, I have a problem with blah blah.
(Meanwhile we are in two different places)
Me: I'm not sure I understand your problem. Just Google it.
Colleague: I don't want to.
Me: Okay bye.
Question: Are Developers who use Google impostors?9 -
I made some changes in existing repo on my own branch. Created PR for it to be reviewed and merged into master.....
That was more than a week back. But senior engineer never merged it.
Today I see that he closed my PR, deleted my branch. He created his own new branch, added my changes and some of his changes and created PR.
What shit is this?5 -
Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....
So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.6 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
/*
"Not wk135, but blah blah blah"
Please don't misuse wk135 (Sorry)
It's about coding tests
Thank you. */
=>
A company took their technical test on this really weird website. There was a Windows Narrator guy's voice giving instructions while a timer was running. I had to flash my ID to the webcam and then fit my head on an outline on the screen. It was for a web dev position. I had to speak into the microphone to answer the Narrator's questions and then send the video to them. The questions were weird and hypothetical, mostly. I just thought that their process was dumb and unnecessary.
=>
I don't like aptitude and algebraic tests. One company, I remember, had their test on Google Forms. For some multiple choice questions, they put check boxes instead of radio buttons. So, I could just blaze through it selecting all options. Some of the questions had their first option as "All of the above" 🤔. Fortunately, I didn't pass the test.
=>
The company I'm interning with, starting from next month, had a good interview process. They asked me questions on JavaScript, CSS, and a few on algorithms and data structures. I was also given a task where I had to make a css animation of trees. I'm glad they didn't have an algebra entry test.
😊 -
Google just crossed the line from amazing to scary . It somehow took photos from my phone and arranged it periodically and even named that album like "Jaipur Trip " , "Sunday morning at blah blah.." .
How the frake did it know that i was on a trip to Jaipur ? and how the frake did it identify the exact park's name with scary accuracy..?
P.S. I never gave Google photos any access..And i didnt upload them in drive..29 -
For those who have seen me ranting about ending up in a bad team.....
Few days back I was emotionally and mentally affected to a level I couldn't handle anymore. I spoke to my manager (our team got a new manager who is sensible and serious) and asked for team change and he said it was possible but he would need some time. 🙂1 -
Does anyone else use:
cat /path/to/file | grep "blah"
Rather than:
grep "blah" /path/to/file
...when grepping? Or is it just me? Mainly asking because in my half asleep state I just wrote `tail -f | grep "blah"` by mistake and wondered why it was taking way to long to read the file...10 -
Since memes have become an integral part of our community, I propose a way to handle them without affecting the actual Ranters.
Everyone adding a meme or a gag picture can do so under a particular tag, and the Algo can handle your meme needs by exposing you to that particular tag based on your activity with such posts.
Or you could just make the users search for memes if they wanted to see them.
This could also be done vice versa by ranters using a RANT tag, I would keep my RANT filter on so anything without that tag won't show up
To make it better you can provide a sort of suggested tags option :
|gag|¦¦¦|meme|¦¦¦Ranf|¦¦ scroll to the right for more... Kinda thing
@dfox @trogus please tell us what you think about this8 -
Me at BestBuy today: Oh man, you got the got the Pixel 2 XL? This is looks good and feels good in hand. Last time I stopped by, the other guy had just the Pixel 2. Blah blah blah.. so is this running the 8.1 or 8.0?
Verizon associate at BestBuy: The 8.1
Me: oohh, you got that preview huh? *goes into system to check.. dude it's running 8.0
Verizon associate: oh really? Dang, I forgot. I'll side-load the APK.
Me: 😕😒😂 I hear you.
*At that point I lost hope in humanity*3 -
Almond: "This isn't right, we need to use <blah> instead"
Phil: <Marks as resolved>
Almond: "This still doesn't look to be resolved"
Phil: "IT IS RESOLVED IT WILL BE PUBLISHED AS PART OF MY NEXT COMMIT WHICH I WILL PUSH ON SCHEDULE LATER TODAY"
🙄
...yeah, that makes sense...4 -
Earlier this day, I was about to start a new project. So I copied my favourite gulpfile.js into that projects root and installed all dependencies with npm. After running Gulp for the first time it threw an error.
Silly me tried to fix stuff and got googling the error and trying random things... After a break of a few hours I just fucking rerun Gulp and read the fucking error completely. It stood there. The fucking solution just stood there, run "npm blah --force" to reconfigure package blah....
Of course it worked right away and I finally could start working. But this shit took way too long. Why I just can't read the fucking error message. Damn -
After two interviews at same company,.. I'll just cut to the email and my response to them..
Company X: "...blah blah blaaah, sorry but unfortunately, we decided to move forward with a candidate that we see fit for this role. Thank you for your interest and interviewing at X company."
My reply: "....don't be sorry. Fortunately, I have already accepted an offer where I see my skills fit at an even higher level at a company."
I was lying. I didn't have an offer yet. Just had to let them feel a little regret. 😂😁1 -
When I started my current job I fucked up my first deploy ever so slightly but In the end managed to get it going with a quick hack (unpacking our war file modifying some properties and a jsp page before restarting the tomcat server )
One of the senior developers was having a really bad day and decided I was who he was going to take it out on, calling me a cowboy (in the Uk that’s a bad thing) blah blah, being really nasty and condescending to me.
I was about ready to shout at him as it was his dodgy configuration that caused the issue in the first place, but instead I took a deep breath and firmly (but calmly) told him never to speak to me like that again or we would have a problem.
5 years later he’s never spoken to me like that again and is actually a pretty decent guy.
Moral of the story people have bad days but also don’t let people take the piss. -
People say, "Yarn is faster", blah blah blah and so on. So, I thought, I should give it a try. So, I tried and Holy Fucking SHIT! It took almost half an hour to download the dependencies! :|
7 -
A colleague had to show up for a demo in 10 minutes, and urgently needed to fix some CSS.
I told her the right way would take more than 10 minutes. The quick and dirty way was to add an `!important`.
I made her write a comment:
`// TODO: Fix this hack made for the demo dated blah blah`4 -
Some of these Software Engineers on YouTube are so frustrating me:
YouTuber:
- Hey guys, I'm doing YouTube because I interviewed at Google/Microsoft and got rejected. I really wanted to work at Google/Microsoft because it's my dream company to work.
- Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that I got the job at Google/Microsoft. I will still be making YouTube videos.
- Hey guys, so I have resigned from Google/Microsoft after working for 1 year because blah blah9 -
I need a way to explain to a coworker that nesting if statements beyond 3-4 is too much and needs to be re thought out. The dude is the biggest arrow head programmer I’ve ever seen. And he claims nothing is wrong with it, it works.. so what’s the problem.
Since we follow the rule of only one return per function he claims it’s the only way to accomplish the stuff he’s doing.. like if blah function passes... if blah function passss if blah functions passes do this then if blah functions
The if statements arnt just checking some variable conditions.. the conditions are checking returns of functions at each nested level the condition, executes a different function and thus checked for success.
Uggh I just don’t know how to explain to him it’s shit and needs to be re designed
Any ideas??20 -
You guys ever get "Project Zoned"?
When you've been consulting with a client for the past few weeks and then in the end they say "I've decided I'm not going to move forward because it's better for me, blah blah blah. But if I did you'd be the person to do it."
But you spent all that time trying to close the project that seemed so attainable at the time, thinking about the money you could be making. Then you get hit with that shit stick.
God.2 -
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
An old client came back to me stating that I didn't fix the last change he requested a month ago. I went in old emails, found out what he needed, tried the website, it was doing exactly what he wanted.
I wrote to him with confusion asking what was he wanted me to fix.
"It's not working"
"It is"
"No, it's not. Can't you see?"
I attached old email conversations and sent him to see for himself.
"I am not talking about that." I want it to work like this, like that, blah blah blah.
-------------
Fucking asshole. Tell me you wanted new feature in the website. -
Santa if you are reading this.....
I want a gift for Christmas :/ Come on I ain't getting holidays for Christmas.....a small gift isn't big thing to ask for....🙄🙄4 -
Fuck it..
What’s the point?
Why do we care about a point at all?
Why do we even try to make sense out of it?
I’m religious but if you think about believe long enough that’s a point to question as well.
I guess the 2nd lockdown is getting to me.
I’m extremely introverted but this I too isolated even for me.
In the the 1st lockdown I made it for 3 weeks, now I’m breaking after 1.5weeks....6 -
Why the fuck they keep insisting a backend developer to do frontend shit?
No fucking shit I'm slow on this crap. And i told them several times it's not my forte.And they keep inisting to keeping a high standard blah blah blah
Ffs just hire a frontend already.
I'll find another job. I don't care at this point.6 -
Kay! Why people think remote job is less then a onsite job? Excuse me? I also work remotely. Okay I get it that onsite you have to go onsite through bus or blah blah , but your hours are not counting by a tracker and not getting SS every 2 min. My family doesn't understand that I have to be on my laptop for at least 7-8 hours.
Their reaction is :" why the food is not ready?"
" I am doing work"
"So what? You are home!"
And WHY LARAVEL COMPOSER UPDATE IS SO DAMN SLOW9 -
Scam call story
Scambot: This is Costco balh blah blah....(I don't even have a Costco where I live). To be put on the 'no call' list please press 2.
Me: 2.
Scambot: Hang up.
A few hours later....
Scambot: this is Costco blah blah blah.... To accept your reward please press 0.
Me: 0.
(Long wait)
Scam person ( In a Indian accent so thick I can't accurately type it out without it sounding racist) : This is (gibberish). Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: (gibberish) Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: hangs up.6 -
Lying recruiters really make my shit itch.
A couple of months ago a recruiter got in touch on linked in as he’d seen my cv on Indeed or somewhere.
He asks what I’m looking for and I tell him I want to move to a more development focused role rather than mosh mash of support, admin and Dev that I do at the moment.
He’s says he’s got just the role at a fairly local software company, and that the role would be at least 90% development blah blah blah.
So I set up a video call, and it immediately becomes clear that they want someone to do support/admin who might get to do a tiny bit of dev (they mainly asked about my experience with HTML) and I could tell they lost interest when I said I was more interested in backend development etc.
They didn’t want to progress the application as I wasn’t what they were looking for, which is fair enough they weren’t what I was looking for either.
But, do recruiters intentionally set out to lie to applicants about what a job is/entails or do they either get duff info from clients, or just not understand the job specs they are given?
I mean it wasted my lunch break (not including calls with the recruiter) and an hour of time for the CEO and Dev from the company.12 -
If you do `log.error("blah: " + e.getMessage())` rather than `log.error("blah: ", e)` then I will personally hunt you down, come to your house, and give you a bloody good talking to as to why stack traces are free, useful debugging tools, and you've just wasted my time by omitting it.4
-
So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.
Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.
So nobody is testing.
And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..
Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂
And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)
Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.
IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA
IT people best timing ever🤘
Hope he learns some prioritizing.3 -
Well just blew up a coding interview.
Got an offer to be a Drupal dev and was expecting questions on Drupal API and module dev but got asked how to find the closest Enemy in an array and blah blah blah.
Interesting question but man. My mind got blank and got nervous. It's been a while since I've done a question like that and I've been coding for 10+ years.
I would've love to solve that in another language such as Python or C++ but got stuck on PHP because it was a Drupal position. But I only use PHP for Drupal modules and templates who are highly dependant on Drupal API. Or even WordPress plugins. But I try to avoid WordPress because is shit.
Guess the job market hasn't changed since I graduated back in 2014. So I feel a little bummed down. But I guess I'll just have to practice those type of problems as well. At least the problem solving method.
At least it will be an excuse to do those leetcode problems.7 -
There’s a new macOS update..
-install now
-install later
Me: install now..
Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. please accept our new GPL..
Me: fair enough.. accept GPL..
OS again: Hi blah blah, same message..
Me: ok I’ll try „do it later“..
Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. GPL..
Me: go fuck your self, fuck your overpriced hardware, go guck your software that’s way worse than it was 5 years ago, go fuck YOU!!!
OS: I know I suck, but we don’t Care. So please accept our new GPL.
Thanks apple for becoming what Microsoft was 10 years ago..,
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕4 -
A dev found a bug I created where I set a SQL parameter name to @OrderID instead of the expected @Order. The standard is @OrderID, there is one stored proc where it's @Order.
Oops...I didn't catch it because the integration test didn't cover that area of the code. My mistake...I should have checked...I take complete responsibility for the screw up.
He let me know by email..
"When refactoring, from now on check the stored procedure parameters, there are a few that don't follow the standard."
I was like "from now on..."? ...wow....bold comment from someone responsible for code that doesn't check for nulls, doesn't log errors, and relies on exceptions for flow control. You wouldn't even have known about the error if I didn't modify your code to log the error (the try..except returned false)
I really wanted to reply ...
"Fixed. From now on, when you come across those easily found bugs, go head and fix it, write a test, and move on. Don't send a condescending email to me, my boss, your boss, all the DBAs, and the entire fracking order processing team. Thanks."
But..I thanked him for finding and letting me know...we're a team..blah blah blah..
Frack..people suck.1 -
As a developer I have a problem I have to get over and it's called: negative spiral thinking. It's the biggest impediment to progress (that and bureaucracy).
You sit there facing a problem, you keep focusing on the problem, but the problem spouts other problems and then you care too much about those other problems and you start fussing around, negative thoughts start to spout everywhere and you end up continuously losing your focus.
Blah.2 -
Been sick all day, got to work from home. Kid goes down for a nap, my wife leaves to run her errands. Finally starting to get into my groove after blah-ing most of the day. So of course my kid decides to wake up earlier than expected. :P2
-
When you get into good company but end up in bad team. Worst thing to happen. I want to quit. But as of now I don't have any option.
I am way too triggered. Any one tries messing with me anymore at work, I won't be able to stop myself. I am gonna shout....take out all my anger. To hell with you assholez! I don't care if you get me kicked out of team or job! I can't take it anymore. FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!7 -
It happened with a company that makes the audio Codecs for Apple (you guessed it right).
It was supposed to be the most pleasant interview ever but not exactly. Here's the thing, the interview went so well that the HR explained all the benefits for its employees and handed me a copy of a leaflet containing so. In the end, as they were walking me to the door, the HR lady told me "you are staying here, you don't have to look anymore" as they were walking me to the door.
Well, everything I did from my end was perfect. Thank you emails and follow-ups blah blah. But not a single answer from their end regarding any decision.
This was the worst feeling to me.1 -
Developer: we are going o have to do it this way because it's the only way I can get it to work.
Other developer: what are you on about that's a easy thing to do you should not be doing it that way you idiot are you thick or something! do it this way the correct blah blah way, "let me show you moron (says out loud to everyone in the office) to show how superior and awesome they are"......
Two hours later, "yes we will have to do it your way in the end, my way doesn't work"
I fucking told you that 2 hours ago. Some people just don't believe lol #timewasted1 -
Development tools for embedded projects shouldn't need fucking internet to operate. Every fucking app needing internet to even startup is getting more and more stupid. I do a LOT of development offline. I usually have my dev machine away from internet for weeks at a time. It very nice to not have to deal with update issues and the like during this time. So naturally I choose tools to do offline programming for both desktop and embedded. So I decided that for my embedded work I wanted to have better environment than Arduino IDE. Now enters VSCode with Platform IO. I download all the target platforms for my boards. I get it all working and installed. Then I take my computer to my non internet location. I fire up VSCode, select the platform, create a test project, and compile the code. Everything is working great. Then I go to upload the code to my board:
"Blah blah blah you need internet first time talking to a board blah blah blah." Seriously? WTF? Who does stupid shit like this? Once you install your dev tools they should be fucking installed! Now I have to drag my fucking dev boards to another location and do a test install just to do fucking offline programming.
FUCK YOU PLATFORM IO!
Notice I don't blame VSCode for this. I know this IDE is very internet dependent, but it works once you get your plugins installed regardless of internet. Unless of course you are doing internet based programming.3 -
Well that would probably be my classmate. He sucks at programming but I wanted him to do at least something. So I dictated him code he should simply type down: "for ( blah foo colon foos ) { ..." And he's like "for ( blah foo .. foos ) {". Colon means " Doppelpunkt" in German which means "double dot" if translated literally. So he wrote ".." instead of ":".
Fuck meh2 -
I see articles going -> "Here's the future of gaming. blah...blah...blah..."
I already know the future of gaming is trash (no matter how many VR glasses u throw at it), because the current state of gaming is a flaming pile of shit.
I'm still hurt by what Cyberpunk 2077 did to the gaming industry. They relayed the message across like -> "Hey you can release any pile of shit mid-development 'game', charge full price of $60 for it and just promise incremental updates over the years."9 -
Okay, we fucking get it guys, you wish that you'd get changelogs with every app update and they'd tell you everything and blah blah blah.
Fuck off
We're the only people who even check, it's not worth the effort. Unless a major feature was added or a well known bug was fixed, the "fixed bugs" is more than enough for the general public.3 -
Recruiter: (on email) hi please check this exciting opportunity!
Me: ....
Recruiter (on email): I see you haven't got back to me on this. Blah blah blah
Me: Hi xyz, can you share the complete job description and compensation details?
Recruiter: <last seen 2 weeks ago>1 -
Every recruiter in job add: not essential but desirable. Knowledge of blah blah blah.
But what they don't tell you is that they won't even fucking consider you if you don't have it.1 -
For the very First time, I am gonna take my Environmental Science exam Online.
Writing the effects of deforestation and how to protect trees and how people doing bullshit to forests, blah blah...in the paper actually made me guilt.
Thanks #lockdown for some of the positive changes.2 -
I hate Wednesdays. Networking has the Antimalware service run a full/deep scan every Wednesday and my machine is basically unusable until it finishes.
Devs: "Can we have the scheduled task not run during the day, maybe even on the weekend?"
Gary: "Security is our #1 priority and without proper security methods in place, we'll be open to outside threats. Security begins with you, and ..blah blah blah"
Bite me Gary. I got something for ya.
Get-ScheduledTask | ? TaskName -eq 'Windows Defender Scheduled Scan' | Stop-ScheduledTask
9 -
Recently I updated my current company on LinkedIn to "Confidential" and the description to "Great opportunity. Great company. Blah blah blah"
Since then,I've been getting more messages from recruiters. Any correlation?1 -
"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"
"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."
"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."
"... that will try to sell me something."
"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."
"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."
"Ok, yes."
"Ok, bye."3 -
Every time my news feed says "Giant meteor potentially can hit the Earth in 2025 blah blah blah....."
I think to myself - Please, end it all already. Wipe the planet away.1 -
ftw !!!! js sucks
importing js files giving errors 😐
used require(blah_blah) and
import { blah_blah as blah } from blah
How do I do it ?😶7 -
Interviewer : where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Me: (auto generated random text which doesn't make sense but is fancy) blah blah bla bla bla blah bla bla bla bla blah bla bla ...
My mind: are you hiring a dev or astrologer ?
-
So like a couple days ago I was trying to clear the Var directory of my Symfony project.
I wrote
cd /var
rm ./* -R
Linux: are you sure you want to delete write protected blah blah blah?
Me:AHA! SO ITS A PERMISSIONS ISSUE
sudo rm ./* -R
Quickly realized I was no longer in my project directory.
Took a fat L. Had to reinstall.2 -
in college ages ago, professor was "teaching" us overloading in C++, he goes something like this:
"so you can overload a function by changing the number of arguments, argument types, or method return type"
I dare put my hand up: "emm .. you can't overload by just changing the return type"
"you can"
"but, but.. how would the compiler know which overload I'm invoking when I call the method?"
pause..
"it depends on the type of the variable receiving the method call result"
"what if I call the method without assigning the result to a variable?"
agitated by now: "ah these are complex compiler concepts that are too complicated blah blah"
although I was unhappy, it was useful to realize no one knows everything5 -
My kind of solving a issue
1st day:in my name they assigned a issue,searching the bug or issue where it is
2nd day:stackoverflow,copy and paste,open several tabs blah blah, solving a issue and fix and I test on my own
3rd day
4th day
5th day:status still working
Next week: push a code in gitlab
TL:it's take to one week to solve a issue
Mindvoice:if I finish, you will assign a tough task -
every new smartphone these days seems to be like one of those scify movie aliens with weird eyes (dual camera lenses) .
I mean, pixel phones clearly shows that having a top-notch software for single camera is already at par with dual cam setups .
And yet huawei is slaying them all .
New huawei flagship phone : awesome specs , ai beautify , blah blah lens , blah blah block chain 16 mp AND "2MP " dual camera setup .
they are like yeah surely we give them dual cameras, but why bother because no one will read after the word "DUAL"
xD10 -
Don't you just feel that powerful personal connection when a recruiter on LinkedIn starts his message with "Dear Sir/Madam, I really like your profile and it is a great fit blah blah"...
Sure you do, enough to miss my obvious beard (and thus genre).
Oh and I'll pass on that opportunity that doesn't fit any of my skills/previous experience. -
So happy about being about to convince management that we needed a large refactor, due to requirements change, and since the code architecture from the beginning had boundaries built before knowing all the requirements...
pulled the shame on us, this is a learning lesson card.. blah blah blah
Also explained we need to implement an RTOS, and make the system event driven... which then a stupid programmer said you mean interrupt driven ... and management lost their minds... ( bad memories of poorly executed interrupts in the past).... had to bring everyone back down to earth.. explained yes it’s interrupt driven, but interrupt driven properly unlike in the past (prior to me)... the fuck didn’t properly prioritize the interrupts and did WAYYY too much in the interrupts.
Explained we will be implementing interrupts along side DMA, and literally no message could be lost in normal execution.. and explained polling the old way along side no RTOS, Wastes power, CPU resources and throws timing off.
Same fucker spoke up and said how the fuck You supposed to do timing, all the timing will be further off... I said wrong, in this system .. unlike yours, this is discreet timing potential and accurate as fuck... unlike your round robin while loop of death.
Anyway they gave me 3 weeks.. and the system out performs, and is more power efficient than the older model.
The interrupting developer, now gives me way more respect...4 -
I was looking for a JS library for good typing effects for my portfolio... couldn't find any
So I had created my own... with blah blah blah effects
Today I was trying to search in Google, if in case it appears on 1st page of search result.... Now I've found at least 4 good libraries for typing effects :facepalm:
Now comparing with each to check if it is worthy to spend time to add new features.5 -
I love coding. I enjoy the clickety-click of my keyboard and the joy of creating code that does something, to help the world be a better place. So why does upper management feel the need to bog me down in process paperwork, tickets to count my widgets, and endless endless emails and spreadsheets to prove that I have work to do. What are the time savings, priorities, cost avoidance... Blah blah blah... #IdRatherBeCoding :)3
-
Worst interview rejection.
I was just out of college and making the interview rounds set up through my college's job placement.
I wish I still had the letter (I would have attached a screenshot), which
started out nice enough with the usual 'It was a pleasure meeting you and thank you for your interest in the position..' blah blah blah.
Ending with "You will never be considered for a developer position here at MFA Oil."
I was like "What the hell happened?!" I thought the interview went great..I had no experience and she made it clear they were looking for experienced developers, but no weird questions+answers, nothing. If anything, I had to be the most vanilla of the 10+ other college-grad devs waiting in the waiting room. Interview was maybe 10 minutes with the standard script of questions like 'Where do you want to be in 5 years?' which we all knew and rehearsed.
My only guess was they had me confused with someone else. -
Need confirmation:
A friend message me (this) saying that “it came from Mark Zuckerberg himself and facebook will...” blah blah and then another friend asked me if this is for real.
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I’m not really sure if I should resend it as well
13 -
I just went through a node.js code for ChatBot. The person was excited and said, he can train the bot and AI blah blah. Well, I then just smiled seeing the "Switch Statements" in the code.1
-
Fav part of working from home?
Probably nothing.
- Being within eye-shot of my wife.
Wife: "Since your home just sitting there, could you clean the windows?"
Me: "I can't, busy."
Wife: "You're just sitting there clicking, that's not working. You think *I* sit around all day!? Let me tell you what I do all day for you and your children <blah blah blah>.. I ask you to do *one* thing around here, only *one*, and you can't do that! "
I'll inevitably will be doing anything except coding.
- Being within eye-shot of my daughter
H: "Daddy, can you play this game with me?"
<Hmmm...SharePoint or Candyland?>
Me: "Alright baby, let's play Candyland!"
Actually, being home with my girls would be pretty awesome. :)2 -
!dev
I have this urge to get better at coding and software architecture and design. But fuck me if I'm not lazy about it.
All these crazy good books and lectures and here I am, doing jackshit to improve. Can't even finish my own personal projects. Bah.
I know how I'm supposed to go about it, how to keep engaged in a cycle of personal betterment. I lack self-discipline to do it though... Tried meditation for a time, but haven't really stuck to it. Currently trying to follow stoics (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and some others), but the mindset is not so easy to adopt, and the practical philosophies even harder.
Oh well. Life is hard. Blah-blah-blah. Thanks for reading. Just wanted to vent, really.8 -
When you are told the app you worked on is scheduled to go into production on Friday.....
My reaction was "Aise kaise?"
(Translation -How even?)1 -
Fucking hell my Chromebook is a confusing little cunt...
I use the Samsung Chromebook plus with a 64 bit based ARM CPU but the chromeOS installation is 32 bit... Buuuuuut it will prefer 64 bit android applications and runs the Linux container at 64 bit!
How does that even fucking work?!?!
(Yes I know Google blah blah, privacy blah, your opinion is noted and ignored ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)6 -
bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂 -
I'm not jumping on your shitty bandwagon on LinkedIn for a "world-wide customer", "really important" .. and fucking shady blah blah blah to hire me.
I PICK the company I want to work for.
I RESEARCH the company I want to work for.
I DECIDE where I'm gonna be miserable,
it's my fucking choice.
You ain't selling it to me, keep sending your shitty messages i'm trashing as soon as I get them. -
Just tried to read this the frequently asked questions about article 13.
I don't think you need to read it, since you learn nothing from it besides that these people don't even care anymore. Everything is written in a "wishful" mode, even their goals.
You can just go to the next trash can, take an item and compare it with that. Unfortunately, you will have to realize that the item you just picked up was more useful to society than everything you'll read in these "answers".
https://ec.europa.eu/digital-single...
They basically dodge every single question vague to the point that someone as the amount of drugs these people take in order to think they are making realistic proposes.
"We aim to blah blah", "Our aim is blah blah", "We want to blah blah". Might as well sue me for copying their content in that paragraph.
If anybody ever tells you that you have unrealistic, stupid goals or dreams just remember: there's a whole continent lead by people who have no fucking idea what they are doing and still think they are doing a good job. And because they have no idea what they are doing they just offload all the work to companies.
Plattform: Ok, what do we have to do?
EU: lol, just "put in place, in collaboration with right holders, adequate and proportionate technical measures." (#2 P4)
Plattform: can you be a bit more specific?
EU: Look, this proposal just "requires platforms which store and provide access to large amounts of copyright-protected content uploaded by their users to put in place effective and proportionate measures." It's not that hard to understand, you dummy (#3 P3)
Plattform: So we need to monitor all user-generated content?
Eu: are you stupid or something? You "would not have to actively monitor all the content uploaded by users", just the copyrighted content. (#4 P1)
The rest is more or less the same, just them imagining the outcome, without taking turning on their decomposed brains in order to apply common sense.
Jumping off this "union" seems be pretty lucrative 🤔1 -
I did some investigation on Jira board. There was a story in Oct to design solution for a problem and a senior engineer has commented saying it was done.
The same story opened again in December and another senior engineer has commented saying "canonical and solution is designed"
But FUCKING IDIOTS didn't do anything! Last sprint I got the development story for same and I have been fucking waiting for them to give me solution. But idiots are way too lazy to do any work! -
Pull Request Message -
Day 1: "Updates to the UI and the load performance of the page."
Day 127: "shdheiahwjak"6 -
Client A: “What does that little button do? It looks so not fit in though. Can we just remove it?”
Me: “It basically serves as a sort function and to make those data look more tidy when you first input them. Especially when it comes from many sources, it .....blah blah blah.... So it's quite inportant to stay there according to UX basic.”
Client A: “??????????”
Me whispering: “Jon Snow.....”
Client A: “Sorry, what?”
Me : “Noooothing~ let’s talk about the other module shall we?”
5 -
What a week... I feel like I am on here ranting more than usual.
The Marketing Director and Project Manager keep telling me to let them know when I am stuck on tasks so they can unblock for me, but I FUCKING DO. I don't understand why they keep telling me to speak up, because I use multiple channels to tell those who are the blockers that I need an update.
I add comments on my Monday.com tickets and @ the relevant people, I send MS Teams chats to them, we even have a daily standup where I mention that I am stuck, as well as a OneNote daily update that gets sent to management where I mention that I am stuck and tag the people who need to help me out.
I have been stuck on a task for two sprints, which should have taken me a couple of days to do.
I really feel like I'm talking to brick walls, am I that unimportant? This is supposed to be "agile scrum kanban blah blah blah sprints story points people over process bullshit". I hate it. Y'all are doing it wrong... Fuckin robots.
I need a fuckin drink, thank God it's Friday.7 -
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?3 -
Go assign a super simple ticket to your "product owner" or "manager" or whoever the hell claims they "work so hard" and "have the vision" or whatever blah blah blah when in reality YOU'RE the one working 12 hour days, completing the features used by THOUSANDS.
Just try it. They'll never complete it. I guarantee it. Here I am looking at one that is three weeks old asking to update the f&*(@#$ credit card credentials for a simple log service to be reactivated.
So sick of this backward world where us devs never get any credit.
Who wants to start a software union with me?2 -
Interviewer: What is the difference between traditional programming and object-oriented programming?
Me: (elaborating) Blah... Blah... Blah.. (meanwhile on my mind, "The same difference between you and your father...")4 -
So I was in place explaining the work I do to some guys then this beautiful girl about 19 year old came down and asked me ""what are your stacks""😲😮... I said JavaScript and Python,and that I use Django, Reactjs, Reactnative, blah blah blah 😔, she said she does too, I was like 😲😳😲...in this country, then instantly I knew she was the one, 💕🥰🥰.. I was about taking her number when I woke up, it was a dream 😢😭😂9
-
Phonies: "By doing X for Y number of years and reading things such as blah blah blah"
Kings/Queens, silverback devs, rockstar engineers: "I never got good." -
Fuck apple, and fuck xcode.
Making and running android app was a breeze.
Making and running ios app was hell.
Expectation : I should have gotten everything I need just by installing xcode and flutter.
Reality : I need to install these from the terminal : xcode command line tools, homebrew, ruby, cocoapods, firebase-cli. Also I need to manually add many stuffs, such as google login url into xcode project settings. Also we can simply test run our app or install to our device, and iphone we owned, we need to register in apple developer program, fill a full form, blah blah blah.
When it comes to android, I only need to register an account much much later, when I want to publish it to the playstore.5 -
!rant
Just got a message from a recruiter. It was something different. There was a link with a ZIP file and a bunch of files in it. Plus two MD5 hashes. You should now find the correct private key and the encrypted message to decrypt it with the key. This gave you the password to get further in the application process.
Not particularly difficult, but a refreshing change from the usual blah blah.1 -
Random guy messages me on WhatsApp that he needs help, that his friend told him I'm good at blah blah blah.........
the issue: he paid for some random php bitcoin thingy blah blah, sent me a link to the site, pretty straightforward instructions on how to use it. I explained everything to him and he says he wants to tweak the php script before he puts it out.
me: then do it
him: how do I start?
me(in my head): did you not think of this before paying for the script?!
also me: oh well, download xampp, good for beginners, easy to setup.
him: not working! please help me
I knew from the onset that he was a windows user.
he started by running it without admin privileges
I had no idea and kept solving problems that didn't exist until I asked him to snap the log, after explaining how to run a software as administrator, we Solved it
port 80 was taken. had to go through the process of changing the ports, I had to validate every single change.
going through the procedure of reinstalling because he installed to some crappy directory. after all the headaches and then redoing all the processes stated above, it still doesn't work.
one final solution left and I am dropping him like a hot potato. I must have close to a hundred pictures of someone's screen on my phone.
little question: when he types localhost on his browser windows IIS page thingy pops up. I was thinking of changing the server name to localserver: new port address6 -
Was watching a dev stream on twitch and noticed the following code on screen:
if (blah blah blah) {
int fuck = 0;
mysql_blah_blah(blah, blah, &fuck);
} -
Had Arduino for months, couldn't get MPU6050 working, because of a lack of time and other stuff. (Need it for long term college project, data logging blah blah)
Gave it to project teammate to figure it out, who hates even touching hardware, BTW.
He figures it out in an hour (adjusting baud rate for supply voltage)
I feel like a complete idiot.
🙁4 -
So,
Im coming from PHP. I feel comfy around PHP.
I needed for other project GO lang (there is no library for what I need to do in PHP, and it's low level thing anyway)
I need dependency that is in form of modules.
Okay, so importing it (just writing import "github.com/blah/blah/v3/blah" as suggested in docs did not work. something something, not found)
Some googling later, I created go.mod file.
And all the hell broke lose. So I am trying to fix that using random stack overflow, IDE highlights entire project on red, go complains it can't find "./" while it looks for it in gopath not project files and claims it's remote repository.
Among other WTFnessness after adding go.mod it suddenly stopped fetching ANY dependencies (including stuff like github.com/pkg/errors ), so, that's fun...
I added go.mod before 9 AM.
It's 13 and Im still wrestling with this
I fail to connect the dots why go lang get's so much praise for it's apparently awesome or something package managment... I find "composer install", and have pretty much guarantee it will work, much easier to wrap my head around.
[edit]
forgot to mention that Im literally starting to learn go. Just cherry on top5 -
whining
So I'm sitting here, working my ass off developing something far above my current skills.
On the opposite side of the table sits relatively new guy, working as a part of support "department". Relatively new means that he's with the company for around 1 month.
The guy started speaking to me. I took off my headphones and listened, while still reading code. He told me about how he'll have to carry out the recruitment process for the support department today. And that he was told to present himself as a leader of the department, blah blah blah.
To be honest, I stopped listening at that moment. I got really pissed. And it's not because of the absolute lack of the professionalism of the company (srsly, make a new guy do recruitment work?). It's because I asked boss to get someone to help me half a year ago. He did employ around 3 new support people (4th today). But no one for me.
And he has the balls to tell me that I NEED to work harder to make it for deadline that he imposed. That he won't employ anyone new for me because new people could stole his "idea". Because MAYBE in a month one guy, a junior like me, will come back (he's on a break to finish his master thesis).
Product I'm working on is probably the main reason other companies are even buying the system he's reselling. As a student I'm working only half-time, so those deadlines are almost impossible.
I wonder how he'll manage if I'll get accepted for the work I'm currently applying.4 -
Need a advice.
Have been a Windows user since many years. But at college I do use ubuntu and am familiar with it. So now I have developed interest in using Linux due to its simplicity and ease of use.
But for some tasks I still need Windows. So thinking to Dual boot my laptop. Have heard dual boot harms the laptop, makes it slow, blah blah.
So Is it advisable to Dualboot on a same machine?
My config:-
intel core i5 7th gen; 8 gb ram, 1 tb HDD,. 2gb AMD R5.9 -
"So, my company made a Mother's Day video, with photos from mothers around the company, with their children and stuff. A while ago they sent an email asking for replies with photos from those who wanted to participate, blah blah.
Then the video came out, and some people were missing. They complained.
HR then complained to IT Support that 'some emails didn't arrive'.
Support then replied to the ticket with screenshots of the person's own email inbox, with all the so-called missing emails.
HR then called back, apologizing for having screwed up with their own email inbox."
And this is another story of injustice with the poor IT department.
Or another story about people who can't properly manage their inboxes.
Or both. Your choice.
I just received it from a friend (I guess I should bring him into DevRant).1 -
in the freelance marketplaces, some people write, "Need a freelance developer for SMALL TASK". who the hell defines those tasks as SMALL task? if you knew this is a SMALL task, why don't you just do it yourself? if its so small, why don't you just ignore it? if its a small task, why don't you just spend five-ten minutes of your "precious" time to learn how to fix it?
& then when it comes to paying, they say, "My budget is 5$, because its a small task"
Seriously? in 5$ my electricity bill wouldn't be covered.
& Then comes to the marketplace commission! Most of the times, its about 20%
So, I get 4$
Then it comes to the bank tax and blah blah!
So, now I get around 2$ or 3$
Now, I don't know whom should I kill first -_-
The clients or the marketplace owner or the government or the bank owner or myself :}11 -
Final year at the university, and I only feel regret.
I hoed around in different technologies and fields. I had developed a game that i played with my friends back in high school. They liked it, so in varsity, i tried game development, 3d modelling scared me off, or rather I pussied out.
Web development, didn't go too deep, App Development with Flutter, didn't go too deep, Cybersecurity, went as far as passing the EC council's exams (the training wasn't that good). I tried putting my knowledge into practice, but resources like HTB aren't really free, you need money to learn (one would say i didn't try hard enough ) but now the certificate sits, useless in my resume, anything I learned fading away. I had an idea that applied blockchain, but my dad said "blah blah blah you could be targeted" (are there symbols for paraphrasing ?). I decided to decide on a stack (picked MERN, good idea ?) and work on it, but I feel like maybe tech isn't for me. AJR songs really hit now.
Final year at the university, and I only feel regret.2 -
I have 1000 problems and
Reached here
Function called
#############
and threading
While loop
Blah blah blah
Blah Blah blah
Is one of them
==================
lololololololololololololo
I hate threading
5555555555555555555
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit6 -
I've never had to put up with bullshit after bullshit after FUCKING BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
ONE THING GOES WRONG SO I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE OH SHIT I LOST THE CORD, FOUND IT, DOESNT WORK, FIX THAT, "COULD NOT EXPAND FILESYSTEM PLEASE TRY RASPI CONFIG" BLAH BLAH. I WAKE UP THINKING TODAY WILL GO SMOOTHLY BUT LINUX DECIDES TO FUCK ME OVER THEN I TRY TO GO TO THE PI BUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO JUST REFUSES TO WORK6 -
I've always sucked at OOP and OOD, _in part_ because I have never encountered a good, common sense, relatable real-world example or analogy of why one would use protected or private variables/objects/functions over public. I watch tutorials and it all just sounds like static in my head and the explanations are just like "well, it's obvious you want to do blah blah blah because reasons."
Maybe it's just painfully obvious to everyone but me and my tiny brain just isn't capable of understanding. But if anyone has the example or analogy that made OOP click for you, please share.7 -
Me: Searching for a problem I have been trying to solve for 6 hours
StackOverflow: [Another user with the same exact problem]
Me [Relieved and Excited]: [Scrolled down to see the answer]
[Empty] :-(
[Scroll up to read comments]
@stackuser1 - Hey did you try doing [blah... blah.. blah..]
@OP - Hey never mind fixed it2 -
Friend: I have a idea that will make us millions!
Me: okay, what is it?
Friend: oh its very simple, what I need you to do is build a payment gateway that supports X billing platforms, Y security protocols, crash proof, blah blah blah... Should be done in a week right?1 -
I'm glad I never had a HR round during my interview, no "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", blah blah. Phew!1
-
so am I the only dev that keeps a psuedo code notebook and then once all the pages are used up usally have a bonfire
also stay safe social distance and wash hands blah blah blah you know the shpeel3 -
some African elders who cant just let a young person be a young person
if you can't do without minding your business, just ask me what I am looking at or doing on my phone. I'll turn the screen to you and explain.
they just start this very long unnecessary talk about young people and phones
the fact that this fellow doesnt even know me, never been to my house, just met me on a trip is just talking nonsense
blah blah blah blah
you went to school to sir! but you're here doing business. is that your degree2 -
You know it's time to search for new job when you constantly feel like taking out wallet and mobile from bag and leave office and never return back
-
Blah! Fucking Windows 10 thinking it knows what's best for me! 8:30 PM was not a good time to install some updates, you fuck!
Never thought I'd say I regret saying goodbye to Windows 8... -
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. We brought on a vendor to provide us some fancy OCR tool. It barely works. It's been barely working. And the vendor is so adamant it works it's so difficult to get them to send people onsight to work with us. We complained about it to the exec and we got "Oh they're a tech startup. You have to help them along with developing their process blah blah blah". Well they don't want help we offered they keep existing their shit is top secret (and it works). When they make changes remotely it's like they blindly make a change and then throw it to us to test. When we can get them to come in they hang around till the problem is fixed (more than once we've had to tell them how to fix it.) and they fly as fast as they fucking can through the door. A guy on my team even built something similar backed by Azure but we were given directive to work with them. And now we're getting pressure about delays in launch. But it's not our fault. The vendors asshole lying CEO keeps making shit up and we're told to work with it. Yet it's our fault that we missed deadlines? fuck this place !!! fuck all of this !!!6
-
I worked with a client, last year, over an app that I didn't think much of, and kept making YouTube videos after our contract ended. Two months ago, I got an idea of making an app for my channel and posted a roadmap video on it.
The client saw that video today, and sent me an email with legal threats, saying I can't do that according to our employment agreement. So, I deleted the videos. All good, no hard feelings. Good ol' Capitalism baby!
But then, I started overthinking about it and it made sense why most high level devs don't post tutorial content anymore and they make videos like "Day In the Life" or "Reality of programming" blah blah.
Maybe they're afraid too that they will get their channel terminated or their life would go to waste?4 -
Step 1:
Promise customer something non-existent
Step 2:
Complain big time that engineering is not co-operating in getting the order out in time. (without which you won't get your end of year sales performance bonus)
Step 3:
Comment about the product being sub standard. Rant about how engineering "great" products must be the philosophy. Blah blah blah...
Offer to provide your fucking support to make the product better despite not being responsible for it.Be the greater person.
Step 4:
Deliver the product. Pocket your bonus. Make jokes about how bad the product is and how you won't sell it again to protect the company brand reputation.
Step 5:
Rinse and repeat.
Fucking assholes. -
qt compilation 2: electric boogaloo.
$ ./configure [dozens of options]
< building qmake, blah blah, success blah blah, run make && make install, blah blah >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes, then hits an error without telling me what the error is >
$ make -j 8
< works for 5 minutes until the same error. this time i notice it rm's a directory right before using it >
$ make # multithreaded fuckery, perhaps?
< fails after 5 seconds with different error >
$ make -j 2
< same >
$ make clean # fuck it, clean up and try again
< fails after 2 minutes of cleaning >
The C/C++ infrastructure. just everything about it. and i'm not even using dependencies here.2 -
Need Advice....
So, I moved to Bangalore after graduation this year and I am interning at a startup till Jan in Android Development. It's a six month internship. Everybody I meet gets surprised after hearing that I took up the internship even after graduation and that it's 6 months long.
I actually interviewed at a couple of places before accepting this internship and all those startups were like the next Facebook, the next Instagram, the next blah...Blah...Nothing new...And this opportunity felt like something where I would learn something new...
But as I meet people every now and then and as the financial ground below me keeps on shrinking, I keep on questioning my desicion.
BTW I am searching for good job opportunities but again can't find any exciting opportunity and the ones I find don't even give an opportunity for the interview...4 -
Oh, here's an environment variable that needs to be set in order to work, not mentioned at all in the documentation, only found when your CI/CD fails, blah blah blah i'm an ignorant human who doesn't give a shit enough or have enough pride in my job to write proper documentation
meanwhile managers and "product types" - we don't care about documentation, just being faster and that newest AI blockchain chatbot that we need now even though we don't understand the first damn thing about it, slop slop barf barf
Source, not a small at all org: it's the docker orb: https://circleci.com/developer/...
You need to set the docker password as an environment variable, its not just an amazing 3 step magic wand as the 'steps' suggest
yawn
but you know what? waste my time, as well as all the other developers down the road, that's just how it is these days you know2 -
co-worker : "hey, have you listened to this cool rocking song"
*Absolutely no idea about what he's talking about*
Me : *internally screaming* no I haven't
CW : well you should check it out, it really blah blah blah
I lost interest mid-way.
Protip : never intimate your colleagues out of their interest -
What do you guys think of code review? It was supposed to find potential mistakes in your code base, and share your knowledge with your co-workers, right?
In fact I have very bad experiences with code review, not just with 1 company, but quite a few. Code review process always comes to something like this:
Reviewer: Hey, I don't like your solution A because of disadvantages A1. You should implement solution B, because of advantage B1 blah blah...
Me: Yes, it's true that solution B provides advantage B1, but at the same time introduces much more complexity to the code base than necessary, and has disadvantage B2. I am aware that solution A has disadvantage A1 but it is justifiable and easier to overcome than B2 imo. In fact, solution A also provides advantage A2 that you might not know...
Reviewer: No, you HAVE TO implement B because of advantage B1 blah blah *repeating why B1 is awesome again*
I feel like it's just people trying to shove their preferences down my throat. Either code review is useless, or the companies I work for do something very very wrong in code review. Anyway, it's really discouraging me fron participating in team discussions.5 -
Not sure if other programming languages class a Boolean as an integer value buuuuuuut...
The amount of times I've seen people do code such as...
if(value == true) {
variable = "blah blah";
} else if(value == false) {
variable = "blah";
}
Instead of doing a simple 1D array and going...
variable = strings[value];
It drives me crazy, such a small thing that has no real benefit but... Ugh... Whyyyyyyy3 -
People are like a stable set of database artifacts blah blah
Repeat this repost that
Did anyone ever figure out why it is that trained human detection models don’t work better ?
All you’d think they’d have to do is run an animation renderer to create data representing a human figure in every conceivable position imaginable with limbs moving into positions that were within certain tolerances in different positions with different textures
I don’t personally think the full capability is being represented2 -
It seems like lately more and more people are joining this massive wave of Linux converts. And part of me is like "well fuck yeah, why wouldn't they? Shit just makes sense with linux."
But then I stop and consider what some of the hipster YouTubers are saying when they say "how to fix when your hipster OS is broken by pacman by installing Ubuntu blah, blah, ad nauseum."... Which Linux distro is /truly/ the most "hipster" distro of them all?6 -
So my company has this ritual that all of it's new hires have to go through some online training regarding the policies and blah blah...
It basically takes hours and a lot of caffeine.
I'm thinking of automating the process and leave the package for the poor new souls to use for free!
Although, still in dilemma if it'll be unethical.6 -
!rant
So, my company already has subscriptions to rally (jira alternative) but the current team fucking uses an online SPREADSHEET to track work items! it's easy to track, blah blah, fuck you. The feature requirement is just one fucking line long. Are you kidding me. Don't come back to me saying something is not working as expected when you didn't specify how it should work.3 -
The whole API service relies on a token obtained by posting to a http URL: http:// blah/get_token?User=malleable?Password=longandcomplicatedpasswordforsecurity
🤔👌👏2 -
I need some help from some experienced people like you..
I'm 23 and since 15 March I've changed job. I moved to an another company (not too far away from the older one) because I needed to move on.
Since I left the older job, my ex-boss told me that he would like to have my help if he needed. I answered him with a: "I need to think about it".
After the last meeting (my last day) my ex-boss asked me some help every week.
I've answered him for some simple request, like: " I need some info on this project e blah blah blah"
Now he asked me to go to my older office to talk about an older project that I made.. I probably know that this time, this request is a big one.
I'd like to stop this circle, because I do not have time and I'd like to stay free of mind.. I know that I shouldn't answer him at the first request but.. This is the situation.
How I can stop him (in a good way) to make me this kind of requests?
These requests are not paid to me, but I don't want to collaborate with him anymore so I don't wanna his (eventually) "extra money".
It's my first experience (I've changed company just once) and this situation is a kind of " break up with my girl".. I do not know how to move.
Can you help me, guys?5 -
Stop staying “.... or whatever” or “pull blah, blah, blah” when discussing requirements. What you say, we will build. If you honestly don’t care what we build then let us end this call and we can make it up.1
-
Fixed obvious bugs.
Tests started to fail.
All error messages read similarly—“Feature XXX contains an obvious bug blah blah blah. It’s supposed to fail, but it’s not.”
F____!!!!!2 -
Today at work, I had to do a dry run of our new production environment config for our VM server.
So I setup ESXi in a vm in my workstation. Installed it it, no problem. Setup some VMs, still going good. Then my supervisor came and said I have to make some tweaks and use vCenter. I thought: meh, that came late but ok. Download the vCenter installer from our internal CDN and ran it. Sorry general config, blah blah blah. "Setup with embedded or external platform service controller?" -"Embedded" - "minimal requirements: 11GB ram, 250GB disk storage, 2 CPU cores". Well... Fuck me. My workstation specs: 8 GB RAM, 128 GB SSD, 4 cores.
What the bloody fucking hell does this stuff need 250 GB disk space for?!
Well at least I've got a permanent upgrade for my workstation.1 -
!dev
so I got asked how much I wanted as my monthly salary for my first dev job and I said 300 USD, did I overshoot ? I haven't gotten a reply yet and I am worried I messed up
backstory, I had this online video interview but during that period i was working for my dad in a remote village, the background was terrible, I had to tilt my camera to an odd angle to make it less terrible, after all the usual talks on "our company company's vision and mission........ we are trying to create....... blag blah blah.......". he commented on my area and I said I was working odd jobs to keep up,
him: how much will be enough for you monthly ?
me: I just need enough to pay for internet and maybe a little left for other stuff (I was this desperate)
him; no we need you to face this job squarely without distractions, how much will be enough ? send your reply as message, yes, they reached out to me through email and whatsapp
me; 300 USD
I'm fucking worried I was over the bar.9 -
Getting ready to finally launch a WordPress Multisite project I've been working on for over a year this weekend...and version 5.1 drops today.
And has significant additions in Multisite functionality that I should implement prior to launch while it's comparatively painless, rather than when we've got a bunch of sites with data to reconfigure.
Blah.2 -
I know , it is shared host, subdomain and all the little things you seem to find just not up to your hipster fucking standards but frankly if my require_once(__DIR__."/../blah/blah.php) fucking works then I think your pompous ass should stop trying to find shit starting at my neighbours website and telling me you can't find a class that is right there , next to you! Loook motherfucker ! Use your fucking eyes!
** PS will obviously still see if it is a config issue but right now just fuck it .
REQUIRE_ONCE FOR LIFE! -
It took me an entire week to install Android Studio pressing retry a hundred times because of how crappy our internet is at work.
How do they expect us to work in these conditions! Some days it works alright, most days it's like pulling teeth.1 -
What the f*...
SomeType {
var something = {
somethingElse: "blah",
whatever: "halb"
}
var doStuff = function() {
this.something.whatever = "foo";
}
}
Based on what fucking logic are you claiming "something" is _undefined_ while running doStuff()??? What the fuck is wrong with you??? It's a freakin' static context!!!! "SOMETHING" IS DESIGNED TO BE DEFINED ! ! ! ! !8 -
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, last very fucking minute change requests, We're about to go to staging in less than 24 hours and now tickets are getting updates with
- Ohh add this title
- Oh make this configurable
blah blah
I think I'm gonna spend the night in the office -
Wats wrong with our QAs giving bugs thats not even related with my work seriously don't u have little senseee huhhhhh
+ haven't got proper sleep since last week
Best is lead saved me and I'm ok
But still tagging me again and again
Ahhhhhhhgggg
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻1 -
Stupid FaceApp. “Gee! It’s an election cycle. Let’s all download a selfie app from Russia!”
What’s everyone’s take on this app? I’ve seen articles saying it’s no big deal because their servers are all in the US and it doesn’t access the photo library and blah blah blah. My issue is that the photo it takes goes to the cloud for processing. Control lost.
In Soviet Russia, app play YOU!9 -
Dear Java, I don't care about your tight rules and patterns; I just want the data.
Do I want some values from some far, hidden-away objects? Oh no, I can't, because I must respect the OO contracts between those objects and interfaces and type safety and blah dee bla.14 -
Code verification
senior dev: You wrote this code yourself?
Me: Yes sir, it's clean right?
Senior Dev: Prove it
Me: Blah Blah Blah...
Senior Dev: Damn, You the realest -
I am really tired of these tech religious fanatics. Hardly they worked on one real life project but love to preach clean code, oops , follow the coding specification blah blah. Keep your fucking mind open. If a programming language and pradigm is widely used then it doesn't mean you should embrace it blindly. For fuck sack.4
-
Error Message : No ClassToInherit class found. There must be a class which inherits from ClassToInherit in the namespace 'blah'.
okay but there is a class in that namespace which inherits from ClassToInherit.
I hate private frameworks. -
It's ok to deal with PHP.
It's (kinda of) ok to make new stuff with It.
Stop pretending that it's not broken.
(I know php8 blah blah, but let's face it, without a good framework it's unmanteinable)
I dunno, i'm just frustrated by the low salary that PHP give to me.17 -
My boss is a very smart man, but sometimes he's superstitious as hell. He cannot trust context.list.find() in c# to accept null values, despite that being a thing forever. He's certain that it will break in a future entity framework update, so we have all these duplicate if statements all over our site.
If(blah == null){ //stuff}
Thing thing = context.things.find(blah);
If(thing == null){//stuff}
It kills me a little each time, but I guess he could be worse. I'm glad that he's finally trusting the null conditional operator, because it's a fucking lifesaver for duplicate code!3 -
"Blah blah blah blah"
-my cubemate's random rambling to me when I am trying to concentrate on actual coding1 -
Read this and tell me OOP (or at least C#) isn't broken:
https://levelup.gitconnected.com/5-...
All I want to do is mock System.DateTime is for a few of my tests, and I ended up going down this rabbit hole of absolute horseshit: build a custom class that you can mock in tests, blah blah blah blah, uhhhh... YEAH NO
Such a simple functionality / need, and yet there is no easy way to test for it. Sigh.16 -
Dear owner of websitex.com,
How do you expect your website to perform and increase sales with so many 404s, no meta titles and descriptions etc... (blah, blah, blah for a page)
Me: very glad to hear that, I took it down, deleted the files and let the domain name lapse 2 years ago... XXX -
Me and a friend are making a discord bot, and added a warning command to warn users.
All was going well, and when we tested the deleting a warning it seemed fine. I then tried to delete all the warnings one by one, when we came across a problem. It wont delete the last warning in the array, the 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc? Thats fine, just the last index that isnt working.
Our code is like this:
list = data.warns//a list of JSON format warnings
console.log(list)//shows the value is in the list
console.log(list[index])//shows the value
delete list[index]
console.log(list)//shows its gone
data.warns = list;
console.log(data.warns)//shows the value is still no longer present
data.save().catch(blah blah)//no error is caught, and nothing crashes, it proceeds to send a message to the channel after this
but then the value at index is still there in the database as if it didn't save it, but only if the index is the last item in the array.
We have been stuck on this for over an hour and I now remember why I hate programming.2 -
I'm really confused if I should be perfect in one technology or i should have atleast little knowledge about everything.. Like should i be 100% java developer or 20% java html devops aws docker blah blah.. What according to you will help for survival in the ever evolving industry4
-
Rails 6 needs Webpacker needs Yarn, Needs NodeJS, needs Blah Blah Blah. Hello folks. Web dev in 2020 is crappier than it was in 2017!5
-
So I’m bit desperate for headless chrome documentation. Went to SO. Was about to ask yes I was about to do tough step. Ask a question.
I clicked blah blah, searched topic: Headless chrome documentation. Nothing previous was there.
So I clicked to proceed to write a question.
And then I asked myself do I really want to put dirt on myself now?
I freakin left and I’m asking our colleague that worked at google, and also I’m going to rather ask directly google for official docs since there is nothing only blogs...1 -
I spent 2-3 days on debugging code written in assembly script. Apparently, you need to initialise an array using new method otherwise it re-uses the previous array from the same scope and it has created infinitely large array. Just wtf.
And I got error like "wasm blah blah blah blah blah blah".Just give proper error.
Running the environment locally wasn't an option because well it doesn't fucking work locally. So, I have to forcibly test on CI and they have created a site that can show you logs because you can't access or query data directly from server and while debugging you try to log something it randomly works sometimes and sometimes you get output from god knows which deployment. Just create a fucking API for displaying log or build a proper docker so that we test it locally.1 -
I want to build a small personal linux server from an old PC
specs:
Intel atom n7 blah blah
Intel HD graphics card
4gb of ram
six cell battery(its a laptop)
sata hard drives
I was going to go for free nas but I read that I'll need to connect the PC to the router via a lan cable, I dont have a router and very costly for me rn to purchase one.
I also feel like it will end in tears but I'll try
pass or nah?16 -
I point out to a guy which documentation and which section he should read to solved his problem, 30minutes later I swing by and the dude sits and watches tutorials on YouTube. I ask him "did you figure it out and solved the problem?", he replies " nah! This tutorial is really great, it shows step by step...blah blah.. I can send it to you! We should all watch it tomorrow after standup" ... Really? He honestly believes were getting paid to drink latte watch tutorials on YouTube? I almost imploded at that point, went into "whatever"-mode and seriously pondered how much mentoring sucks some days. But seriously tutorials on the tube were targeted for 14year old beginners a last time I checked,did the world do a double revolution and left me behind?? Or is that guy just plainly trying to hide the fact how incompetent he is at reading docs?
-
Fixed the bug tested multiple times the build. When uploaded on stage not working. Debugging, debugging ... i forgot to push.. blah
-
Okay soo I’m not a database guy.. I’m an embedded engineer but I’m helping one of my interns make a hardware tracking database... so we are tracking assembled products (dev samples).. but also tracking the pcbs within the product.. depending on the product it might have more than one pcb or contain other components to track.
The question is how would I set up the relationship in the tables, so depending on the say “type id” of the product it would link to a table full of feilds specfic to that “type”.. say the product is of type phone and has a pcb of this and a camera of that.. blah blah blah.... but say another product is of type “washing machine”.. which has no screen, it has a different pcb, but also has other things..
There would be a type table .. washing machine, phone, tv, camera, pcb, ecu.. etc.. but those type would need their own tables...
I guess the question is how to relate a field to different tables depending on the value of the field... is this portion all done thru query results and logic rather than pure data base schemas?
What would be the question in terms of database lingo to google search the answer lol2 -
I don't understand women sometimes.
Context: So, How government jobs work in India, is that you have to move to a new job posting location every 3-4 years. Not forever though, more like the first 20 years or something.
It can be a city or a village. And you can't say no against moving there. You'd have to quit the job which in India, is a MASSIVE deal.
My cousin sister had her job posting in Jaipur where she lived with her kid and husband. And soon enough, the news came that her new job posting is in Bangalore, which is about 2500 KMs away from Jaipur.
2 months ago, she and my aunt made a full-on hoopla in front of us saying things like - She'll quit her job. I don't care what it is, but family is always first priority blah blah blah...
Fast forward to today, she's living alone in Bangalore.10 -
*Put random technology here* fucks me so hard. God damn it its so bad for my made up reasons. I did a fucking mistake at some point and now something of that falls back to me.. blah blah
God I hate blaming technology for your mistakes. Don't get me wrong, there is bad shit out there. But this random bashing is annoying. -
Is this a justified code review comment or a bully?
Code reviews are weakness of this industry which has the potential to attract bullies. Abuse of the comment box in a pull request and bombarding the employee with hundreds of comments can cause stress, frustration, burnout and finally resignation and costs of fulfillment for the organization. While companies should find and stop bullying in the work place, what kind of code review comment is considered a bully and why? Any of below traits can mean you are dealing with a bully:
1. Claims the code needs to be changed but doesn't say how. So no matter how many times you change your code, he can repeat the same comment: "Your code is still bad due to blah blah and it needs to be changed".
2. Provides how the code should be changed, but the change doesn't add up to quality, security, performance, readability, etc. i.e. "Why did you use a for loop here? Use a while loop instead". Or "Why did you write it using three classes A, B and C? Instead write it using 4 classes D, E, F and G which does blah blah". In the later case, not following the review comment, you won't get approval. Following the comment means you need to rewrite your whole code. After which, you might again receive more comments to change other parts of your code!
3. Claims the requested change is due to standards but claimed standard does exist anywhere. Internet, company wiki, university course books, anywhere. In more severe cases of psychopathy, the bullying person refers you to a link which hours later turned out to be written by himself! Have fun describing what has happened to your manager or team leader... .
4. Asks the code to be changed in a way that supposedly is closer to standard or of better quality, security, performance, etc. But the proposed way will not work and is the main reason you didn't do that in the first place. So you start arguing forever in the comment box over why his method won't work!
If you cannot see any of the above traits, then keep calm, take a breath, fix your code. Otherwise you might be victim of a bully.2 -
Blah blah blah, I don’t care, ChatGPT fixed my code and saved me bags of time. I’ll have none of your Luddite comments.7
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