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Search - "fuck email"
So this fucking happened today.
Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*
Me: *opens issue*
"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"
Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*
"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"
Me: *looks at error message*
"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".
😐 😶 😦
Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*
Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*
"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"
Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫
Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.28
I don't understand why every non-technical person who comes to do work in my apartment messes up my fucking router.
The cleaning lady - multiple times knocked the antennas partially off. Like fucking clock work. I don't get it, why is the cleaning lady attracted to my router antennas and why does she need to be so hard on them? Whatever.
The most ridiculous episode was today. And it wasn't the cleaning lady. I had a few people here doing some work today and the woman in charge who was here informed me before that they might have to move the furniture "a little."
I come home, and like a bad omen, the plastic parts on BOTH my router antennas are missing. Completely gone. It's just the the wires. Now, the router still works fine in my tiny apartment, but it is a fancy Asus router (I learned the hard way not to buy cheap routers) and I'd like it to not have fucking wires as antennas.
I email the woman (paraphrased):
Me: hey, it seems the antennas got knocked off my router, do you have any idea where they might have went?
Her: Apologies if we didn't put everything back (no shit you didn't, that's why I've had to email you). If we knocked the antennas off the router (fucking "if"???? I literally just told you in my email that they were knocked off) , they are probably somewhere by the window on the floor (they weren't).
And I still haven't found them. Why the fuck do these people seemingly attack my router? I can't figure out what it is about it. You would think people would be more careful around electronics but naaah. Anyway, going to go keep looking for my router antennas.44
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you20
People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.
Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.
Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.9
[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.
[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?
[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).
[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?
[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.
[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.
[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)
[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.
[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.
//End long rant12
A client called today because their email wasn't arriving at the receipants inbox but bouncing back with a 'poor MTA rating' error.
Checked about every blacklist I know and our server was definitely not blacklisted. Must be the receipants host which for some reason was blacklisting his specific email address.
Told the client that it wasn't a problem on our side and that he had to request a whitelist himself (we'd do it but it wasn't a specific server problem so we're not going to spend time on that).
Fair enough, he'd do that.
Calls back. "Well, the other party says that your server definitely has a poor rating, it's on your side!!"
Alright, this is getting annoying. Gave him a few blacklist checking sites links and told him to run his domain AND our server IP through it. Indeed came back completely clean.
"But the other party said it's poor rating on your side so I'd think tha........"
YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE THAT OTHER PARTY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. I'VE SHOWN YOU PROOF THAT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON OUR FUCKING SIDE, EXPLAINED IT TO YOU AND SO ON. MAYBE, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE OTHER PARTY IS FUCKING LYING?!?!?
I strongly dislike the www part in domain names (the subdomain, really), that's not really news anymore.
Loads of sites use it which I find annoying as fuck for some reason but so be it. (I understand that its very logical to loads of people)
And then you get a client who calls in because the email server isn't accepting her username/password.
*looks into the logs*
"incorrect authentication data: email@example.com"
Kill it with fucking fire.18
Deadline means shit for management and they can't fucking understand wtf a prototype is for.
Hahahahaha so we are gonna present this prototype tomorrow ( 2018-03-08 ) at a meeting with investors and our management practically demanded a landing page to be at this presentation.
The landing page is gonna be made by a 3rd party, they asked for directions on the content about the landing page with a deadline set for Friday ( 2018-03-02 ) .
Management sent an email yesterday with the following content:
- Changes on the prototype ( A LOT OF CHANGES )
- The landing page content: a fucked up confusing as fuck word document with crossed over text, red text. A lot of noise that meas nothing and only makes the reader confused as fuck
Why am I laughing you may ask?
Our front ender took the prototyping role out of my hands and the landing page is a third party responsibility.
None of this is my work, I'm here watching the world burn for the first time and boy its funny and warm.
So, I’m a software engineer at one of the FANG companies, and a “friend” from college that I haven’t talked to in years suddenly messages me, asking for my work email. I’m like, why would you ever need that? And he replies, “I’m gonna send you an email with a link, can you open it from your work computer? I’ll pay you for doing that, and it’s totally legal.”
Yeah... how about fuck no.
He blocked me after I refused.11
No, not in any relation to windows this time.
Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.
If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.
Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.25
Yesterday I found some abnormal activity on my server, someone was trying to brute force my ssh as root since two days! Started raging and installed fail2ban (which automatically bans an IP if it fails to log X times and eventually sends me an email). Woke up this morning to find that a fucking Chinese guy/malware spent the whole night trying to brute Force me!
Fucking cunt! Don't you have any better to do!!
My key is a 32 characters long encrypted key, with the ban he can try 3 passwords /2 hours, good luck brute forcing it you bitch!37
Boss: Give me unrestricted access in the system.
Me: It's dangerous. You might break something.
Boss: I'll be careful.
Me: *gives access*
This happened 2 years ago. Now every week he deletes something he shouldn't and break a module for him or for the clients using our system.
Just woke up in a rant email saying that "oUr OnLiNe StOrE DoEs NoT wOrK". Well, that's because you have delete the Cart configuration for all the clients you dumbass. What the fuck were you thinking when you deleted that?17
I worked at a place where the help desk guys did the good ol' "I'll send an email from your laptop if you walk away without locking it and tell everyone lunch is on you" routine. After it happened to me about 3 times I was like, "I gotta get this help desk prick back!" So after several failed attempts at walking by his pc when he walked away it instantly hit me how I can punk him back.....SO, I logged onto SQL Server, clicked open a new query window and typed up a dbmail command and on the @from parameter I set it to the help desk guy's email address. His face was PRICELESS when I was shooting off emails to the entire IT dept on behalf of him WHILE he was sitting in front of his PC. Lesson is: don't fuck with dev help desk dude! 😎😜2
Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button
Fuck hell and that all again for my second account7
Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..
I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.
Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...
Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)
Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??
-Registers on a site to use the product
"Our weekly news digest"
"Our daily news digest"
"You haven't used our products for 15 minutes. We miss you"
"Would you recommend our products to a friend"
"If you like this, you'll LOVE this"
"Here's a promo code for something you don't need"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
"You've unsubscribed. Was it really you?"
FUCK OFF YOU ANNOYING CUNTS15
A contractor at my old job was doing a development role and was constantly annoyed and the idiotic design decisions going into the website backend we were developing 🙄😒
When he decided enough was enough he could have easily written a really snarky email but instead he wrote the most sincere and professional email to his boss and the director thanking them profusely for the opportunity and hopes he would be welcome for future work with the business....👍
He was a really good Dev and the email made the bosses super happy thanking him so much and how much of a shame it was he was going....😍
He bcc'd me on the mail and when he handed his computer in he told me to open the email and highlight in full....👌
At the end of every line in white text was 'Go Fuck yourself' or 'Zero fucks given'
The bosses never realised... And I know he's been back there about 4 months now..... But shhh 😭3
For fuck sake, one small bug and my app immediatly gets a 2 star rating. HOW ABOUT YOU REPORT THE FUCKING BUG TO ME SO I CAN FUCKING FIX IT. MY EMAIL IS IN THE GODDAMN DESCRIPTION. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO SEND ME AN EMAIL INSTEAD OF A WORTHLESS RATING.13
My LinkedIn profile bio:
... however I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.
My LinkedIn “notes to recruiters”:
... I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.
- ticked full time permanent
- listed native technologies in the tag selector.
Email this morning:
Hi are you interested in the below role:
Role: Hybrid mobile developer
Type: 6 - 12 month contract.
No I am not you fucking fucktard. Read my fucking profile or go fuck yourself with a fucking cactus!9
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
If. You. Don't. Contact. Us. With. A. Registered. Email. Address. Or. Phone. Number. Then. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Information. Relating. To. 'your'. Account.
Oh you "don't agree" with that?
Guess what, never gonna give you up!
Oh, typo, that should've been: never gonna give a fuck!
No, seriously, I couldn't care less.48
When you've convinced a good number of your colleagues to try out Protonmail then you find out later that they're not using it anymore because it doesn't support the Gmail Android app 😬😬😬
Even if it's supported, WHAT THE FUCK is the point of using e2e encrypted email if you're accessing it using 3rd party apps?10
I have coronavirus. Went to ER because I couldn't breathe Sunday night. Thought I was fucked. I decide to try to work a couple hours today because I'm getting restless. I'm an associate and have been on a project about a month. No prior software job.
Anyway. They ask me to clone a repo and run some tests. Cool, I can do that. They give me another example to look at to make sure I'm running the test right. Except the test files aren't attached to the email nor is the path to them provided.
I ping the other associate developer on Skype and ask for the test files and get a passive aggressive response that they're in the email. No, they're not you fuck stick, hence why I'm fucking asking you, and given that I almost fucking died a couple days ago, you should be fucking grateful I even logged on. Motherfucker.
Ok I feel better now.19
I can type the password for the SSH key to my servers while drunk.
Muggles can't type the fucking email address while sober.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!! Is it really that fucking hard?!!! Pieces of shit!!7
First day on the phone as a support guy!
Before the first call came in I thought like 'please no email related issues as that's the one thing I suck at!'
Fair enough, first call:
Me: hello, how can I help you?
Customer: well, we've got this email problem...
Me thinking: MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK WHY ME 😭
Me: what seems to be the problem?
Contrary to most people I really love to receive email related to jobs when I'm in holiday. I keep important alerts on.
email: ***urgent, server down***
me (sipping mojito by the pool): fuck them. let's them deal with that
email: ***requirements all wrong, must develop the feature again***
me (enjoying a dinner): oh, I told them 100 times!, fuck all of them, work for me now, stupid moron.
email: I destroyed by mistake the db with an update..."
me (dancing like crazy): ahahaha I told you that support guys should not have access to production db, fuckfuck you, fix it yourself!!!
and so on..... I don't know, it just boost my pleasure during holiday.9
Designer (to the client): Yes it'll be exactly like this mock up after I hand it over to the iOS developer.
Client: Awesome! Looking forward to it.
* Designer goes to developer *
Designer (to developer): Hey these are the new designs for the app, let me know if you have any questions, ok?
* 1 minute later *
* developer goes to designer *
Developer (to designer): How should error messages or notifications look like?
Designer: Oh we should just email those because it won't look good.
Developer: The fuck? And are you going to design this email service too?2
You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol
So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...
Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...
I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.17
Time for a rant!.
Got a client I've just built a website for and they went live 2 weeks ago.
This morning he sends me an email saying that the website is not good enough because it's not making any sales or getting any traffic.
I send an email back asking if he has a marketing / SEO company... The response was I thought you do that as you said the site would be SEO friendly!!!.
I'm a developer! Not a marketer, fuck off.2
Depression is like email newsletters, nobody signed up for that shit and the unsubscribe link never works 🙈 fuck that 📧5
Every commercial lib:
"Download free trial"
Register with your email, full name, phone, company name, etc.
Yeah, fuck you, too.8
Day 1 10:00 am
Login to email account (Zimbra)
Your password is incorrect (I entered it correctly, this was a permanent issue ,used to happen in the company with many employees)
Reset your password by logging into internal company portal.
Logged into company portal, somehow. 2 Mbps internet shared among 104 people, you can imagine the speed.
Reset email password
* your password has been sent to your email id*
Are you fucking kidding me? U have emailed me the password to the same email I can't log in to?
Where did the architecture designer get this top notch weed from?
Asked HR to reset my password (using a colleague's email)
No reply from HR yet
I went to meet HR, she's on vacation. So they have 1 person managing the password reset, for 5000 people with no backup person. Cool.
Your internal company password has expired. Check your email for link to create new password. This is some next level shit going on.
I called up Internal IT team to generate a new email for me.
They asked me to raise a ticket.
I can't raise a ticket because the only way to do so, is through the portal.
Nothing. Btw, personal email and all social networks were banned. You can't even open stackoverflow.
And this was a research lab, amazing huh?
Loss of pay for 4 days since I can't login to company portal to fill timesheet.
HR comes back. Resets my password.
I try to generate my new password for portal.
The password policy:
Password can't be same as last 10 passwords
Passwords expire every week
8 characters minimum, 2 upper case, 2 lower case, NO SPECIAL SYMBOL. WTF. How long do u think its gonna take to crack that?
Fuckers had a company wise policy to automatically lock PC every 1 min if not used. Who the fuck can keep on using it continuously! I'm reading an article, and bam ! Locked. 2 wrong entries and that's it, repeat all steps again. Fuckers really didn't want to let me do my job, just keep on logging in all day.21
* I send an APK so that my client can test*
My client: I can't install the application
Me: Did you download and install it from the email I sent you?
client: No I downloaded from the play store.
(In my mind: Why the fuck do you Download it from the play store? I fucking sent you an email to 3 of your fucking email addresses so that you can fucking test the fucking APK that I fucking fixed it for you! You fucking worthless peice of shit!)
But I reacted as: No no, you should download the apk from the email I sent. I've sent it to all your email addresses.
client: I can't find the APK In your email.
(In my mind: Wow! I just don't get it! How can you be so stupid? I'm just wondering how your company hired you as a 'director for X')
*I send him a Screenshot proving that the apk exists*
Turns out that this idiot doesn't know to use outlook for Android! He then logs in to his gmail and finds the apk.(Coz I had emailed it to his outlook and gmail accounts)
M just wondering, should I drop this guy? Or charge him 2x for this shit?7
Email from a company I applied To:
"Hi... We will be in touch by the 7th of November"
Me:... It's December already. Maybe I missed it.
Second email: "Sorry! Typo. It's meant to say 7th of November. Refer to this instead"
THIRD email: "So sorry. Or mailing system is failing so disregard all those emails and refer to this one. Thank you."
Me: ... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DATE!??6
"Yeah, we didn't send out a notice about changing the format. We figured you'd notice when your code stopped working."1
When I was 10 years old, all kids at my school got access to school emails. The email address book contained everything in my city, like fire department, all pupils of all schools etc. So I decided to "test" the system by sending out a mass email to everyone in the address book (about 3k) with the question "Hi, how are you?".
The sys admins apparently didn't think very far as I got some responses saying like "You have crashed a server in the capital city" and "I have contacted your local IT admin".
So I went to the IT admin and told him the situation. His face turned red of anger and I remember him almost screaming at me.
Who the fuck doesn't set up protection for this and gives out access to 10 year olds? This was 15 years ago, I really hope sys admins are smarter today!6
>>Gets email about a social issue and completely disagree with the organization that sends email.
>>clicks unsubscribe and puts "I didn't sign up for this" as the reason why.
>>2 days later get another email from the exact same place
>>clicks unsubscribe and types "Listen here you victim playing fuckers. I told you to unsubscribe from this email list because I don't want to receive emails from your bullshit organization. Fuck you."
>>Gets a confirmation email that my name has been removed moments later.
Moral of the story: Strong language gets the job done.19
Websites that don't let you copy paste email addresses. Well then, I'll do it using inspector. You're not going fuck with me, that's for sure.
Email. Fuck everything about it.
It's an obnoxious queue of messages I somehow must handle. And everyone in society expects you to have email. You can cancel your phone number, maybe even live without a house... but every hobo still must check their email.
It is an endless shitstream of things I don't want. Like a garden with some nice tomato plants, but then a really smelly weed starts invading and no matter what you do it keeps coming back.
I don't want to login to unsubscribe. I don't care about your "notifications center", or "managing the offers you receive from us".
And then your boss asks you to design an email campaign... I don't want to receive that shit, why would our customers? And even if I agreed with using email as a communication channel... YOU THOUGHT CSS IN INTERNET EXPLORER WAS A BITCH?
No really. Fuck email. Fuck everything about it.15
So Someone in my team decided to create a cron job that auto send email to the client that says "GO FUCK YOURSELF" in clients' Hostinger (shared hosting) account .
My friend , why?14
>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man10
Dear Airbnb Hosts,
The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.
> Gained the skills to atleast land an internship
> Hyped asf
> Start applying for jobs
> Hyped asf
> Days go by without a response
> Hype starts dying
> Gets a REAL email delivered to my inbox asking to come in for an interview
> Hype levels regenerated
> Interview goes great and both founder and senior dev are fine with hiring me
> Founder needs to talk with co-founder first before giving the go and said he will get back to me in a day or two.
> The hype is too real
> 5 days go by without a reponse
> Hype levels: all time low
> Decide to follow up, founder said he left for a conference before the co-founder came back to talk about it and said he will get with her and let me know in a few days.
> The hypening is back
> A week goes by with no response
> I'm dead inside rn.8
Yep, thata right. Fuck Wordpress Raspberry Pi. Thanks to my inability to interact with proton mail filtering I just made a script that checks for a new email and if it contains words "wordpress", "help", " hack", "build" and it is not from whitelisted contact, the email is moved to the Fuckpress folder and automatic reply is sent back that I AM NOT FUCKING DOING YOUR GAYPRESS FUCKING SHIT FOR YOUR 5$ CUNT.
I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.
FUCK CORPORATE EMAIL SPAM
AND I DON'T MEAN SOME SOME EXTERNAL SCAM/AD/PISHING EMAILS
I MEAN THE SHIT MY OWN COMPANY SENDS TO ME
"tHE WelLbeIng Course : SiGN In now!!!!!"
"#MoRnIngcOfFEE witH SOME cORporatE TWAt"
"Give togetHER : LETs circLE JerK OurSeLveS in SOMe fuCKiNg oNLiNe mEetInG !!!!!!!"
I DON'T FUCKING CARE !
I GET DOZENS (IF NOT FUCKING HUNDREDS) OF SUCH SHIT EMAILS EVERY DAY.
IF I GO ON VACATION, I HAVE TO SPEND HOURS TO SORT SHIT OUT
I HAVE HAD TO SET UP ELABORATE OUTLOOK RULES TO GET IT SORTED AUTOMATICALLY INTO SOME MANAGEABLE FOLDERS (AND SPEND SOME OF MY LIMITED TIME, HERE ON EARTH, TO DO SO)
AND GUESS WHAT
THANKS TO THOSE STUPID RULES I MISSED, ONE FUCKING IMPORTANT EMAIL
CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME ?!!!
FOR CHRIST SAKE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID CORPORATE BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING IT TO ME9
Client: "Can you add some logos to the homepage?"
Me: "Sure, I've just added it, take a look at staging."
Client: "Great, we can move it to live"
** 5 days later after it being moved to live and telling them I'm going on holiday. **
Client: "EMERGENCY change logo now, we need to change x logo. These logos look crappy too. How did this happen?"
Fuck this. I'm not employed by you, you don't have any right to speak to me like that. Especially after working tirelessly for your company.
**sent email back explaining how to upload files**
Told them not to contact me unless it's technically related.3
So we hired an intern and his first task was to change a few things in email layout for our client, which is an investment bank.
I told to one of my developers to make his local database dump and setup the project for an intern. When intern completed the task, my developer thought that title "Dow Jones index crashed" was pretty funny title for a test.
What he didn't thought through enough, is that he forgot to configure fake SMTP server and he had production database dump with real email addresses.
I had really awkward 20 minutes conversation with our client. Fuck my life.4
The fuck did you think was going to happen?
User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.
PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?
Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.
I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.
PM: Well that's not what x said.
Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)
PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits.
At a game dev class. Class starts and everyone is already doing something and I don't know what. I hear the some guy telling us about what to do with those "assets he sent us". Apparently everyone got a mail with the assets we'll be using and an instruction video for the day. Everyone but me, that is. I call the guy over and I tell him I didn't get the email. "Well why didn't you get the email?" HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW? You didn't tell us we'd be getting one so I couldn't exactly tell you to resend it. So now I'm just sitting here watching the rest of them work awkwardly...(first rant btw)4
Working on a database priorly designed and maintained by some private agency.
The fuck I'm dealing with!
Boolean values stored as 'TRUE'/'FALSE'. It's varchar, my dudes.
There are no FK relations. Just the values of IDs in a column.
There are no indexes, all on just the PKs, nothing else. Nothing.
Null, what's that? I'm dealing with 'N/A', my dudes.
Unique key, what's that? The table which stores users has all the fields nullable. Email is not unique ( even though that's the required behaviour).
ALL the numeric values are stored as varchar. Varchar, my dudes. Varchar. '1', '1.1'
And finally, the good ole, 1 table to rule them all. Normalisation, fuck that.
And what's the root cause of all this? My PM used to hand them Excel sheets she maintains on her local system. FTW. I don't have a enough explanations.7
Early morning I walk in to a build failure email.
"Oh shit! It failed and I'm on the Cc list."
"Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Didn't I build it already?" *compulsively launches local build*
*Ctrl-C's current build and feels angry for doubting self*
*Repeats, while trying to replay the incidents of last night in the head.*
"Fuck this. I'm certain I built the module."
.. scrolls email ..
"This is not even my change!"
.. scroll ..
"This is not even my code base!"
*feels foolish, but MAJORLY relieved*
Another fucking twat asking for a responsive html email when they are targeting outlook. IT USES THAT HEAP IF SHIT WORD AS A RENDERING ENGINE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT! It's bad enough having to code them up using fucking tables and spacer gifs. Why do IT people stick religiously to Microsoft heap of shit applications... Oh I know it's because they are so fucking shit that it needs a full time twat just to get them through the fucking day. Fuck Microsoft. I guess you can sense I'm having a bad day, especially when my broadband decides to pack in, on and off all fucking day and the support twat puts me on hold then fucks off. FML14
Online course with ASP.NET 4.
Professor is a loser, convincing students into using shitty 2010 software which will not install and is no longer supported.
>> Sends mass email explaining how to use VS2017
Met with praise. Fuck outdated teachers and technology, truly a shame.5
Just now saw an email from Support after I asked them to run some cleanup commands on 4 servers.
Support: u need to give us an automated job for this.
WELL FUCK YOU, Y DON'T YOU JUST DO IT URSELF.
I JUST SPENT 2HRS INVESTIGATING A PROD ISSUE WHICH GOT ESCALATED CUZ UR A BUNCH OF USELESS INCOMPETENT MONKEYS... THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HELP... AND WHAT I HOPE WOULD BE YOU BUILD UR OWN TOOL... BEING SUPPORT UR SUPPOSED TO HELP ME REDUCE MY WORK NOT INCREASE IT1
Getting real fucking sick of shitty websites excessive security measures!
4. Mandatory 2FA
We don't recognize your IP, please log into your email, click the link, get redirected and complete steps 1-4 again! Also the site will time out in 10 minutes if you aren't actively using it. Have a nice day!
Go fuck yourself.7
Because of the pandemic and how most of the people in my institution's I.T department are working from home we were asked to route calls from our work extension to our home phones. I did it to my cellphone and some of the calls that I get are hilarious, yet annoying. Annoying because we have a bunch of boomer ass people making the most ridiculous calls.
Being that the calls are not registered into our phones they just show the random number from which x person is calling.
Just right now my phone rings aaaand:
Boomer: "YES <tech support technician's name which is obviously not mine> I NEED YOU TO FIX MY EMAIL IT IS NOT WORKING AND MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING"
Me: "I am sorry, I don't know how did you get this number, but what we can..."
BOOMER: WELL CAN I PLEASE SPEAK TO THE TECHNICIAN? I NEED THIS TO GET FIXED RIGHT NOW
Me: As I was saying, we can attempt to send an email through your phone's outlook app if you have it installed or I can send an email asking them to contact you since you are reaching an entirely different dep..."
Boomer: "DID YOU NOT HEAR ME! MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING AND I CAN'T SEND EMAILS AND I DON'T WANT TO USE MY PHONE, I WANT TO USE MY LAPTOP"
Me: Did YOU not hear me? I just said that I can send an email for you since my computer is working properly, at the same time, not wanting to use your phone to send an email when you have no other option available is more of a YOU problem, it is not mine
Boomer: EXCUSE ME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO? i AM THE MANAGER OF <X> DEPARTMENT
Me: nice to meet you I guess, I am the MANAGER of X department as well, i have been told that for issues with my attitude I can just toss you over to <Director of IT> if you wish.
Boomer: Oh....no...thank you, I will send an email through my phone and see if that works.
Some background: The Head of my department is a hardass that is not scared to tell people to fuck off when they are messing shit up and he is very protective of all of us. I love this man and have personally followed the dude through hell when no one else came through. If they think I am bitchy that dude would throw down an entire house over people being dense, and even though he is a boomer himself (age terms) he despises the general attitude of entitled people from his generation.
10/10 I love my boss and hope to heaven that all of you find similar leaders.6
Fuck all the companies that doesn't specify that they won't provide sponsorship for the applicant before job application.
I applied to this fucking piece of shit company that took me an hour. Created a custom cover letter and modified my CV just for them.
And they reply me with an email saying that they won't provide sponsorship and have rejected my application.
You motherfucker can refuse me in 5 minutes, but you piece of horseshit can't be bothered to write a simple point in your job description.
Fucking die in hell. Fuck you.1
My manager is an idiot and a complete asshole.
Knowing that I was working on a solution for an important problem, he sent an email to our customers saying that the problem cannot be solved, and the customers need to take care of it themselves. He sent this email the evening before I was supposed to present my solution to everybody.
It's not the first time something like this happens, but this stupid individual RESIGNED ONE MONTH AGO. He's in notice period right now, and nonetheless he keeps fucking people like he used to do. WHY THE FUCK MANAGEMENT DOES NOT BLOCK HIS EMAIL!?5
I think I'm getting let go. Got an email saying to stop all the work on a project I was working on and to come in for a meeting with my manager tomorrow.
Yep. So the dev teams boss says it's fine to run a production environment on a single Windows instance with the db on that same instance, which they already totally lost once from a reboot after an auto update before I came along tasked with fixing the cluster fuck they created.
This from a man who somehow runs a dev team while using gmail via the web because he can't use an email client, uses email to track tasks but can't because they get lost amongst his 3000+ unread emails, has a screen dirtier than a hookers vag on half priced Tuesday, and got a new laptop but had to get his daughter to set it up and transfer his data because he couldn't.
But ok... you have a degree, You must know what you're doing.
It's ok though, I'll keep covering your incompetent ass while you keep raping the company because no one listens.
Peoples ignorance and arrogance astounds me.4
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...13
I ordered something online.
Autofill fucks up my address but I don't notice it. Get the notification that it's out for delivery. Go check my PO box after I see the USPS driver leave the complex. Package isn't here.
What the fuck?
Check the email only to notice I fucked the address up and there's literally no street name. Just my apartment number for the PO box. Well hopefully it gets taken back to the USPS store and I have to pick it up bc if not, then God only knows where it's at because I sure as fuck won't.11
Thinking of auto adding ‘you dumb fuck’ to every email I send to a client. Fucking useless time wasting bastards.
Example: I’ve forgotten my password for the cms can you send me a link to reset it.
The login page has a link clearly labelled ‘forgot password?’.
I send a screen grab with a big red circle around the link and some polite text, which I was desperate to add ‘you dumb fuck’2
I bought flowers for my date. Online.
When I registered, the website send me via email my 30 character long password.
So I try "forgot password". The genius website sent me, guess what, my 30 character long password...
For fuck sakes!!!! You had one job.... Hash the fucking password!!!!
I'm afraid these people will probably get hacked soon (murphy law).
Sha256.. Guys please...12
Do Travis CI's email subjects really need to say "Still failing". As if I don't feel bad enough.
Fuck you Travis i'm trying!!!1
PM: "Hey, can you send an email to SysAdmin I can't print in colours?"
And vagues off to a meeting.
Me: "what the fuck"16
So following from this rant:
Warning long rant ahead
I resigned and my last day is tomorrow, I've released the app updates a week ago, patched a couple bugs for iOS.
My boss and the idiot who can't open an email on his phone go off to use the app as part of some training thing for the company.
I got a call yesterday saying the Android app has issues and I proceeded to ask my boss what type of phone they have:
"Samsung and Huawei"
I thought okay I need more info "what type of phone..." He responds with wouldn't have a clue....
I can't see the phone, didn't get a screenshot or anything like that but I'm expected to just know what the phone is.
My boss goes on to say yeah it's the app (he is literally the most computer illiterate person I could think of aside from guy who can't open emails on phone, how the fuck do you know that?)
Me: "From all the testing I've done the app works"
Look if you want a more robust error free update hire more than one developer I can't test every single fucking use case to determine the app is 100% bug free, I've tested on at least 10 phones before releasing the update just to be absolutely sure I got everything done and okay I missed something.
So I proceed to get my boss to tell the guy who has the issue I'll sign him up to the testing app to find out the cause and hopefully fix the issue, I setup crashlytics send the email and get a call from my boss saying the guy didn't get the email.
Well okay is it my problem that we have two emails for the same person where one of them is a typo? No it's the guy who asked and wrote down the email instead of actually forwarding a blank email from him to be absolutely sure, I sent the email to both just to be on the safe side.
I swear if he is another idiot who can't open emails on his phone well I can't help him, app works on my phone and the phones at work.
I need a phone where it doesn't work so I can get a solution I know works but if I have to deal with these idiots that can't even check an email how the fuck do I do that?
Sorry about the formatting just needed to get this off my chest before I start work.
Oh and I get asked "so who'll fix the bugs when you're gone" well I can't (in reality I'm not working for free, I'm not traveling 1 1/2 commute time to fix one bug for free, go hire someone you think will love to work for minimum wage and let's see if this guy can do what I did)8
Fucking idiots. How fucking stupid are you? We're in 2016 now, where basically `.motherfuckerslutshitasscunt` has the potential to become a TLD. And you still can't validate a motherfucking *.online email? FUCK YOU. I will NOT be using your SHIT MOTHERFUCKING RECRUITMENT SERVICES. DIE.4
Just got an email accusing me of not implementing a feature that is quite clearly implemented.
It's not my fault if your too stupid to #include my header file. Did you just expect the compiler to magically find the functions for you.
Also thanks for raising this with my team lead and his boss.
May you spend eternity in a cold ditch coding java script on a 386 with a 28k modem you disgusting fuck nugget.5
Is it just me, or does nobody read their fucking email? Especially when I try explain how a bug isn't trivial to solve because its based on some shitty design decision, that the managers made, that is practically the core of the app. If YOU cant understand the logic with me explaining it to you in plain FUCKING ENGLISH, than how in the name of baby FUCKING jesus, do you expect me to communicate that to the most complicated machines that man has ever built?!? What in the actual fuck do you even do here?!? I could do your job blind-folded, with terminal access to the db, while a monkey was flinging shit at me!5
Best co-worker quitting story?
"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.
The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.
Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."
'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.5
Holy fuck nvidia. Why the fuck you want me to login to your fucking app in order to download a fucking driver. You also want me to click a fucking link that you sent to my email for verification on every fucking login? Why on earth someone would stole my fucking nvidia account? To see which drivers I use? What the fuck nvidia? Oh wait. DO YOU DARE ASK ME TO SETUP TWO FACTOR AUTH TO SECURE MY ACCOUNT?!? What the fuck? Even if I put my credentials online no one would care to login my fucking nvidia account. Just let me download my fucking driver!6
deadmau5 exclusive on tidal streaming.
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to different signup page
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to original signup page
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to second signup page again
>> try to login
>> enters email, password
>> listen to preview of album
>> please enable flash
>> okay, fuck you, deadmau5.9
I graduated last weekend. Walked in the commencement ceremony, took pictures, posted a !rant here, the whole 9 yards. Then what happens? I get an email from the dean of the engineering college at my university stating that my degree check was done incorrectly and that I am 3 credit-hours short of graduating, it is too late to sign up for an intersession course, and there are now 3 credit-hour courses offered as 8-weel courses. So here I am, with two Job interviews coming up, without my degree, wondering why the hell I found all this out A WEEK AFTER I "Graduated"! DA FUCK!!!!!9
RFC 6068: The 'mailto' URI is suppose to use commas to separate email addresses.
Outlook: Fuck you and your specification I want semicolons unless the user's regional settings has a comma specified as a list seperator.5
Company email sent around last night that 'for security' we need to use the latest software, fine. But we are also told only to develop in Edge as it's the newest and most secure browser, therefore is the only one we can use. There no way I'm using Edge to develop.
Fuck you, Mr Consultant, you've taken the company for a ride.
I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????
Ffs I swear6
CompanyYouNeverHeardOf sends you IrrelevantNewsletter512... so you hunt for the unsubscribe link, which you find buried in the boilerplate crap at the bottom of the mail, rendered in #eee on a #fff background, in 4-point type, and click that. End up on a web site that asks you like 8 times if you're sure you want to leave and please, reconsider, we're nice folk really, blah blah blah. And then you get *another* email from them saying they received your unsubscribe request, and *then* yet another to confirm that yes, you unsubscribed, and please feel free to re-sub anytime (as if!)
GOD I HATE MARKETEERS!!!1one10
Earlier I signed up on this forum called NulledBB. Basically some hacker skiddie forum that had a dump of an archive I wanted, unfortunately behind a paywall which I didn't want to bother with.
On signup I noticed that I couldn't use my domain as an email address, as I usually do (the domain is a catch-all which means that mail addresses can be made up for each service I sign up to on the fly, super useful). They did expose the regex that they accepted email as however, which included something along the lines of "@live.*".
So I figured, why not register a subdomain live.nixmagic.com real quick and put that into the mail servers? Didn't take too long and that's what I eventually went with, and registered as firstname.lastname@example.org (which I have no trouble putting on a public forum as you'll see in a minute).
Still didn't manage to get that archive I wanted but I figured, fuck it. It's a throwaway account anyway. But eventually that email address started to receive spam. Stupid motherfucker of a forum operator with his Kali skidmachine probably leaked it.
Usually I just blacklist the email address in SpamAssassin by adding an additional spam score of 100 to email sent to such addresses. But in that case it didn't even sit on the main domain, thanks to that stupid regex block from earlier... 😏
*Logs into my domain admin panel*
*Le rm on the live.nixmagic.com record*
Null routed entirely.. nulled, if you will! 🙃3
>Someone opens issue
>Am in school
> Opens Git(Nyan)Hub
>"yOuR pRoJeCt hAs a CopYrIghTeD nAmE"
>does not seem to be the case, we're a OSS project and the fact you can't copyright names but trademark them
>Me: "When there's a legal issue, open it up on email than on a issue, and your shit is invalid as well, fuck you."
> Closes and Locks issue
Welp, that's a wasted 2 minutes right there homes
Keep in mind I even asked a lawyers' statement from the company that this concerns them. Fucking FUD tactics again by some random
Let's add the fact there was NO DMCA from the mentioned plaintiff. Wow. just fucking wow dude.2
So here's the story about a big Fuck up by a TRAI chief in India
He posted an open challenge on twitter:
"Here's my 12 digit Aadhar card (social security no for Indians) number. Show me if you can do any harm to me. "
And Twitter obliged, a French hacker aliased @fs0c131y (Elliot Alderson) took the challenge and he started posting his phone number, email, and other personal stuff on twitter.
Still the official thinks he's safe and no harm has been done to him! He openly says, "Even if you get my bank account no what can you do?"10
Ah the classic meeting terrorist....
Us: "These emails are working."
Rando customer on conf call: "No they aren't, I haven't seen any of these emails."
Us: "Is your email on the list?"
Rando customer on conf call: "No."
Yeah fuck you.
The rest of us are paying attention here, can you please shut the fuck up on the meeting.1
You fucking cunts, just because I bought something from your shop via online that doesn't mean you can send me an email every other day about your products.
Stop sending me useless emails. Fuck you to all the websites/companies that do it. I wish I could print these emails and shove them up in your fucking ugly buttholes. AHHH I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY!7
Client (monday): What does it take this long? I have sent you everything!
Last email from him with content: Friday, 18:12
Would you kindly go and fuck yourself. Please.1
I love it when unethical companies' marketing chaps assume that I care about their SMS garbage more than I get pissed off by it. Damart, I didn't even know about your existence or what the hell you do as a business (selling woman clothes apparently.. am I a woman?!) until you shoved your ad crap into my face, and Unigro I really don't have a pending contract with you so kindly fuck off with your reminders (that are in French but am I a Walloon? No!).
Makes me wonder though, with email I usually just give everyone a different email address to deflect spam - since I can reroute email to any particular address straight to /dev/null on the server if so desired. With SMS and SIM cards that isn't really possible.. hence why I'm always so hesitant about sharing my phone number. In email the addresses are scraped off the internet.. but phone numbers? How do such shitcompanies even obtain those?! Their level of pushiness and unethical behavior boggles my mind.8
Do you ever spend an hour editing an email reply to a client before you send it? Trying something akin to alchemy when you attempt to convert snark, veiled contempt, and shock at how stupid the client is into something professional and polite? It’s like trying to bottle farts as fancy perfume.
Like the first draft is:
Please disconnect your computer from the wall and return it to where you bought it from and then never use a computer again you dopey fuck.”
Yes sir. I’ll have it done for you by tomorrow.”
God it hurts.4
Client sends multiple emails claiming that Im delaying n work and that he has a deadline. (In 4 hours)
I checked his revised briefing and started work in hopes of finishing it under my own deadline of 3 hours.
Received another email from my client telling me that the briefing is incomplete and that he will send me the final briefing tonight -_-
What the fuck man?10
Why are clients so ignorant and stupid?!
Send them the software with specific instructions WHERE to install it. Location is important as it is a plugin for AutoCAD.
First mail with complains about the plugin doesn't work. Find out (in the mail they sent internal) that they installed the plugin somewhere else than I instructed them.
Sent an email back with (again) an explanation why it doesn't work and where to install the plugin.
Email from client: So I put the plugin here [incomplete and invalid location] and create the last folder myself...
FOR FUCK SAKE SRUPID ASS IGNORANT DOWN SYNDROM (sorry folks) MOFO CLIENT!!!!
I SENT YOU UP TO 3 TIMES WHERE TO PUT THE GODDAMNED PLUGIN!7
I think: "please send us an email"
is a polite way of saying
"please fuck off and don't call again".
May be I'm wrong 🙄8
Companies emailing you about a product in your cart is annoying as fuck.
If I wanted it, I'd have bought it whenever I fucking put it in my cart. Don't email me everyday telling me it's there16
I used to get gigs from a freelancing website. Some guy posted a project where he wanted a website with complementary Android and iOS apps for $50. My bid was "Sir, would you like fries with that?". It was uncalled for I guess but after seeing so many projects like this, I was pissed to no end.
2 months later I get an email from the website saying I received an infraction due to my behaviour. Wtf is an infraction? Fuck you and fuck the English dictionary! Or pay me fucking 50 dollars to find out what it means!
Basically, I shat where I used to eat. Fuck my life.5
I dont hate PHP, but I do hate when lazy admins do stupid things.
Why can't the PHP-maintainers do a proper website? Why the fuck can't I subscribe to mailing lists?
Well, it seems like when I do a request, the webserver sends a email with MY EMAIL. And guess what, the listserver REJECTS it because it fails DMARC.
They also refer to the manpage of ezman, but they have disable ALL the functions there too.
What kind of retards is doing that shit. I completely understand why people hate on PHP now.6
Worst: I lost development contract - probably due to covid - after 4 years of work. I got email when I was at bank seconds before signing mortgage for my first apartment.
I signed it anyways as a technically unemployed person without income looking at the world collapsing.
Best: I gained new contract with 40% money raise. Fuck yeah !
My company just migrated our mail servers over to office365. My boss has been excited and could barely contain himself when the migration was done he was having the best day ever after he got a good deal on some new toys...Then I ruined it.
Me (setting up) > WTF!? um...well I guess I don't have email on my phone anymore. These permissions are fucked.
Him > Oh why?
Me > They are ridiculous, I won't give away this much control just to read email.
Him (panicking) > and if buy you a company phone?
Me > Not a fuck it's still a personal device. I'll just sandbox the web version.
Him > Your over reacting, they obviously need them for security blah blah...
Me (sends him the pic) > The minimum system requirement is internet.
I feel kinda bad for killing his vibe - he's a nice guy and he's only trying to do right by us but now he seems down like his toy isn't shiny anymore because he respects me. I wasn't beating on the stack or his choice (mines running on thunderbird). I just can't support this trend of GOD mode permissions for email / calculator and other single feature apps. I'll use the web app instead. You have to draw the line somewhere...
On the other hand I can't deny that I'm loving the irony that Microsoft just made my life easier and have a deep sense of satisfaction that for the first time ever I got fuck up his Friday :/21
Seriously, fuck that incompetent ISP of mine.
Stores passwords in fucking plaintext. Does VoIP calling in plaintext! Passwords are sent over postal mail! Passwords are at least not sent in plain via email anymore when you want to reset them. The password reset form, "cannot contain `", "cannot contain "", "cannot contain '", "must contain a special character" because why the fuck not mess with people's password manager's password generation function over our own incompetence, right?! And showing all those errors for a single password? Eh, no. Let's just show one error that applies to whatever password you've given at that time. JUST ONE, because "reasons"! And to top it all off, when I finally made myself a nice password with some padding to remove unwanted chars and put that in my password store and on the website. THE BLOODY THING CAN'T EVEN FUCKING LOGIN?!
Now I ain't no ISP, but being a sysadmin clearly isn't a requirement when you're going to apply for work at an ISP, THAT DOES NOTHING BUT FUCKING SYSADMIN STUFF!!! Incompetent pieces of SHIT!!!3
[more or less rant]
FUCK YOU ENKI! I just received this spam email with a very important question:5
So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......
FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!2
I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?1
Just got a lection from my manager.
Today he sent me an email with request to change validation on one field validation from decimal(5,3) to int which will be 5 digit number. Ok i did that, I changed it on UI, changed validation, changed mappings, changed dtos, created migration files, and changed it in databse. After i did all of that I replied to his email and said that ive changed validation and adjusted it in database.
After my email here comes rage mail from manager with every fuckin important person in cc I kid you not. Manager is asking why the fuck did I change database when Ive could only use different validaton for that field on UI.
I Almost flipped fuckin table. What does validation good do if you wouldnt be able ti save that form? And form has like 150 fields. And if I left validation only everthing would fuckin break.
Sometimes i think that its better not to think.
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-1
THis one goes out to the fucktards that decide to fucking change things on api systems to meet new business requirements and fail to fucking scope out the change requirements of dependent systems that YOU are FUCKING UPDATING via THIS FUCKINg API!
You fucking morons!
At least have the fucking decency or balls to walk 10 fucking metres from your stupid ass chair or send a fucking email about the changes rather then me finding out you fucktards change things through an end customer who want to know where there order is!!! FUCK!1
DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...
FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!14
When you just want to reply to an email request with "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with this?"4
Stop sending passwords in plain text via email. Just stop already. If you don't know how to implement a secure alternative, hire a fucking consultancy to assist you.
Fuck. The next time I purchase from you and I get my password in plain text anywhere, I'm immediately demanding a refund and taking my money elsewhere.
Just fucking stop.13
FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK spent 1hr writing a Quora answer to "Why did Warren Buffet buy Apple not Google" on my phone. Then forgot to copy the text before submitting and lo hand behold...
Ok just for kicks:
-lock in effect
-Apple has a monopoly on i*
-90% of people just need their apps to work and check email, they don't give a fuck about alternative options6
Apparently some fucking moron bot has started sending spam messages to random people using my email address in the 'from' field.
Subject: I want to feel the passion with you.
I know because I just received a Delivery Status Notification containing the full spam email.
Fuck you spammers and scammers. Wish you a horrible and slow death in a mincer.16
Oh my God...
A colleague of mine got an email. The email was badly translated into our language (probably Google translate was used) it said 'please open invoice attached'.
The anti-virus software successfully marked it as a virus, and did not allow my colleague to open attached 'invoice.exe' file.
Now by this point you would think that the person would just delete the email, but no. The colleague looked at me, and with the bitchiest voice said 'I got an invoice and can't open it after your anti-virus installation. Fix it!'
Needless to say, I had to explain, what a virus is and teach all the colleagues not to get hooked on scam mail... Took about 4 hours to explain this seemingly simple concept.
Fuck knows, how they did not nuke their IT infrastructure before I came here :/11
How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.
I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.
Thank for listening. Have a great day.15
If you CC: me on an email I won't read it because I'm clearly not the intended recipient and I'm not going to do your work for you in trying to work out why I should give a fuck.
If you wish me to actually *give* said fuck then send me my own fucking email explaining why I should give a rat's anus about your shitty little problems.
And, if you try to use "but I copied you on the email" as an excuse for your incompetence in a meeting, I will eviscerate you on the spot. You will be looking at your small intestine while I ask your assembled co-workers if they have any other business.
CC: basically means you have no respect for my time. So, if you do it, I'm coming for you...and your family...and your friends...and all the people you know on Linked-In...8
Email: "we have carried out a phishing test company wide"
Email: "results are here"
Me: wow, already done? Didn't even see the email. I must've subconciously discarded it! Damn, I'm good!!
Email: "the test was carried out yesterday"
Me: *was OOO y-day*
I finally gave in into the peer pressure and made myself a Twitter account.
WHAT A FUCKING SHIT SITE.
When registering the only thing I provided was my email and username. Nothing more.
One day later when visiting Twitter I get a big ass pop-up that briefly tells me my account is locked for 'unusual behavior', 'suspicious activity' and 'not following of Twitter's rules'.
I want to remind you that my account was barely one day old, and had no activity whatsoever.
So if getting your account locked for no single reason isn't bad enough. The only and ONLY way to unlock my account was TO PROVIDE MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. No other single way to unlock my account.
YOU WANT MY PERSONAL DATA SO BADLY?
On top of that I didn't receive a single email from them for this 'suspicious activity' or 'breaking of Twitter's rules'.
THIS IS SCAREWARE. Lying to people in order to get more personal data. My account was perfectly fine. And without providing your phone number you can't even delete your account.
GO FUCK YOURSELF FUCKING ASSHOLES WITH YOUR ASSHOLE DESIGN
Dear email marketers:
I don't owe you anything just because you bought my contact information from some sketchy company. If I was interested in your garbage sales pitch I would fucking reply! Quit nagging me for a response and go get real jobs you fucking twats!2
When your colleague is so impatient that he send 100s of emails for a small issue and you cant block him :|
Dude at least let me read the issue in email
Dude you could have sent..
Sent.. me a ping on Slack
Wait dude I am working
Working on your issue chillex
What the fuck :|
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
WHAT THE FUCK MAN :|
I will kick your ass :|
I will kill you :||
I will fuck your mother :|||
I will drop a nuclear bomb on your Ass
'Its still coming' :|||¦6
"due to the amount of applicants, we can't respond to every applicant email"
let me translate the manager-speak for you: "due to us being stuck-up douchebags, we feel as though our company is more valuable than literally the 2 minutes of time it takes to write a yes or no email, so we'd rather keep you hanging and never give you feedback. oh yeah we're also not professional at all"
god why the FUCK am i even applying for jobs, each place is more shittier and toxic than the next4
Today I decided that I will quit my internship.
So mamy things are mismanaged and my supervisor avoids helping me. I'm not gonna even rant about shitty coding practices, or rather, lack of them.
Now out of 10 ppl team I'm sitting alone in the office because everybody, apart from me, can work from home. When I asked why do I have stay in the office - this is to provide me the best placement experience (wtf). So I sit here, knowing that even if I send an email with a technical questions, I will not get an answer. Atm, can't even give a fuck about trying to be productive. I'm so tired with these fake smily faces that cannot manage a single intern but expect me to do everything without any help.5
Gmail's Android app is 300+ MB with 5B+ downloads. What the actual fuck!!
Why does an email client have to be of that size?
And how are downloads tracked? Every time someone installs the app counter goes brrrr?30
I forgot my password to [SITE]. Of course, I click "forgot password", and enter my email, which I did remember. Fairly routine "ah shit we have a problem" steps.
Now, it takes a second. This is to be expected. So I'm not worried. I then get the email and...
Now, you will notice that I redacted some information, like the company name, email, and my PLAIN TEXT PASSWORD, and my name.
I would like to note that this isn't a small, very local company that's new (even then it'd be unacceptable), but this is a multinational, multimillion dollar company.
How'd someone fuck up THIS badly?13
For the first time I am feeling like.... I hate my job.
Agile and Scrum can be fucked, but at least there is a work methodology. I was hired by a company being run the old school way.
These guys never heard of git??
- Fuck you. We never used git and neither should you.
Client company does not want to give me push/pull access to their gitlab instance??
- Fuck you, you can use our RDP server for that.
Project planning features be damned, they've got email, Teams and videocalls!
Can I develop in peace? Fuck no, I have to give IT support to the guy who hired me.
Our timeline is defined IN A FUCKING WORD DOCUMENT FOR FUCKS SAKE. I can't connect Issues to milestones in a Word doc
Oh, and the customer is running everything on prem. If there is a need to scale up, FUCK ME. I should have specified 20 machines from the get go or gtfo. We're using 2 machines to run 8 different services that are going to be ingesting and computing data.
They want state of the art on a cheapskate.
And I have nothing else lined up at the moment. Although I am soon to renew the contract... This contract binds me with professional responsibility for a project being ran by people who do not give a single fuck about optimizing the work process.3
So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:
We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.
You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.
Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))
I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))
If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.
Remember, not all heroes wear capes!
... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??7
How to offend potential clients with sales emails:
“Hey again, <name>!
Don't understand TikTok? Don't worry - you're talking to a Gen Z now.
I wanted to follow up on my previous note and see if you had any availability this week or next week to connect.”
Apparently not interested and not responding means you must be too old to understand those meddling kids and their internet toys.33
Me: We need to allow the team in the newly acquired subsidiary to access our docker image repositories.
Sec Guy: Why?
Me: So they can run our very expensive AI models that we have prepared onto container images.
Sec Guy: There is a ban on sharing cloud resources with the acquired companies.
Me: So how we're supposed to share artifacts?!?
Sec Guy: Can't you just email them the docker files?
Me: Those images contain expensively trained AI models. You can't rebuild it from the docker files.
Sec Guy: Can't you email the images themselves?
Me: Those are a few gigabytes each. Won't fit in an email and won't even fit the Google drive / onedrive / Dropbox single file size limit.
Sec Guy: Can't you store them in a object storage like S3/GCS/Azure storage?
Proceed to do that.
Can't give access to the storage for shit.
Call the sec guy
Me: I need to share this cloud storage directory.
Sec Guy (with aparent amnesia): Why?
Me: I just told you! So they can access our AI docker images!
Sec Guy: There is a ban on sharing cloud resources with the acquired companies.
Me: Goes insane
Is there a law or something that you must attempt several alternative methods before the sec people will realize that they are the problem?!?! I mean, frankly, one can get an executable artifact by fucking email and run it but can't pull it from a private docker registry? Why the fuck would their call it "security"?9
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16
Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?3
Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE
I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE
So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.
Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies10
useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.2
The cleaning lady saga continues...
Had an appointment with their manager, stuff gets discussed and coordinated at a 3x slower pace than if I'd done it myself (as usual because fuck efficiency when there's muggles involved -_-), yada yada.
*mail addresses for contact start getting discussed*
Incompetent fuck of a manager: And you $realName, your email address is $email@example.com, then changed to $firstname.lastname@example.org? Mind explaining this?
Me: Oh yeah that's just because I give out different email addresses to each contact person when it involves public forms or registrations, helps with spam prevention and putting the company name of the correspondent in there helps with easy recognition when some company's database leaks and I start getting a lot of spam on that mailbox.
IFOM: Really.. we actually weren't sure whether we should reply to something with our company name in it.. you know, not sure whether it's legit etc. Why would anyone want to use one of our email addresses as theirs?
… Let that sink in for a moment. They think that $email@example.com is theirs? Just because it's their domain (minus TLD) in front of MY FUCKING DOMAIN? How about you start by learning how email addresses work first, because clearly you have no fucking clue about it. Are you the kind of brainless fucks that get lured in by http://totallylegitbank.com.freehost.com/... scams? Fucking stupid piece of fucking shit.
Oh, and when you're using MS Exchange, of course you can't know that when you're having your own domain, you actually also own every fucking mailbox on it, because Microshaft doesn't allow you to have more than n amount of mailboxes, unless you gobble up money for them. But you know what, in my case it's a fucking catch-all domain running Linux on its servers, so yeah I can use whatever the fuck I want in front of it, including your stupid fucking cleaning company.
IFOM: And then there's your current designated email address. $firstname.lastname@example.org..
Oh you're going to criticise that as well?! Yeah condor is my fucking nickname all over the internet, and my username on all my systems. That's why I use it. But you know what else is an email address that you might come across, because people are shallow idiots like that? ILoveBigTits69@gmail.com or something like that. You know what, how about I address you next time from ILoveBigTits69_OhAndYoursAreAWashboard@nixmagic.com, because you know what? I CAN FUCKING DO THAT. But you know, I at least am halfway fucking professional about my business-related stuff, so I won't because I really don't want to be associated with such an email address. So don't you fucking dare to criticize me for using my fucking nickname instead of my real name.
Long story short, people are fucking idiots.6
Is asking for a nice email client in Linux too much?
In thunderbird, I found no way to customize the "messages pane". Title, sender, time all in one line.
In KMail, the fonts and style of HTML signature is not working as expected.
In Evolution, the fonts scaling doesn't work correctly.
Had a code that handled home network and was checking if everything is OK and ETC. I once noticed when i was at home and when i unplug NAS from outlet that it took hour or so to get email.
This is bad as you can imagine.
So after looking at the code i changed some code and just made it more dynamic to workload.
Lets just say that the email were now instant and also i somehow fixed CPU temperature website as side effect for whatever reason.
I felt good that day and bought pizza and got some beer and said fuck to school.
A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.3
Had to bring up some issues with my instructor to the school, and forgot to print out emails hosted on their Exchange server that show the issue in detail. When I logged in, every email had mysteriously disappeared from my account, but because I document everything about this horseshit school locally, I could still show the exported emails.
Head of IT.
The bastard tried to hide the evidence, but fuck him, Document Everything.
Talk about data protection, I am fucking furious!! A hotel i stayed in recently has sent an email with a scan of my passport and credit card. Do I have any legal rights to fuck them up the arse? The hotel is in france.1
That moment you receive an email: your CI build is failing.
Ok. What went wrong?
Three new commits that do not seem to alter anything related to the failure.
*reverts commits and tries again*
*restarts previous builds*
They now fail too.
FUCK! BASTARD! Are you kidding me?
Turns out that repo of dependency changed and is not compatible anymore.
Argh! Son of bitch!
PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE DONT JUST EMAIL/MESSAGE ME YOUR ERROR AND SAY
"FIX IT " or "WHATS WRONG"
WITH NO FURTHER CONTEXT !!!
then when you respond to me asking
"can i see the code ?" 18 HOURS LATER
AND YOU RESPOND WITH
"it's closed source"
PLEASE DONT GET SHITTY WHEN I TELL YOU TO KINDLY FUCK OFF9
I fucking hate websites where you register and they send you email confirmation WITH YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD AND USERNAME also when you purchase something from the same fucking website they send you email with order details and YOUR PASSSSSSWWWWOOOORDDDD. Fuck my country(Serbia) man...6
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1
I love getting a fucking email for every fucking change, instead of getting a list of desired changes.
You know what? Fuck this, I'm tired of being the nice guy, I'm not even getting paid for this, and you expect me to do it expediently on a Sunday. I'm done, you can find someone else to piss off for free.2
I'm about to move to a new city and one of the websites I'm using adds its name, url and ©️2018 to anything you copy. It is driving me absolutely insane. Trying to find an adress on google? Well you didn't search for [streetname], you searched for [streetname, website name, url ©️2018]. Thank you for copyrighting that public street you fuck. Trying to e-mail an agent? Sorry I can't send an email to [e-mail adress, website name, url].
Whoever thought of this needs to be taken out back and shot.2
The moment the first news article was published in my country about covid cases decreasing (it isn't actually decreasing btw), these motherfucking sweatshops just swarm in like a pack of fucking hyenas to open up and get their employees killed again.
What the fuck is up with this sweatshop bullshit attitude of "Devs won't work unless I micromanage them in person" you twats? My productivity has literally doubled the entire time I was at home.
And this sickening, narcissistic email about how we're supposed to enthusiastically go for work and meet our friends and increase productivity, yay, jesus fucking christ, my apartment has two ongoing cases. Try living in the real world some times you HR troglodytes.
Let's share information! Communicate! How do we do it? Via email!
You got question? Send an emai!
You want to share some excel? Send an email!
Not sure who to ask? Send the email to everyone!
Have a 100 message long email thread and then need some help? Send the whole fucking thread to me and just add "what do'ya think?"!
Send some attachment in email and then 2 weeks later refer to it saying "but I sent the file to you!"? Well surely I can remember your special email from the hundreds of email I get every week.
I did complain to the mangers that why the hell do we have these mega-email-threads? Why do you send all the meaningles release notes to the whole company? The anwer is simple: all information needes to be transparent and if you don't need the info, then just don't read the email!
And fuck you, you CEO wanna-be who sends seasonal greetings through his secretary and thinks anyone gives a shit.4
Google got rid of the awesome Inbox app, only to force us back on Gmail with fucking NATIVE ADS! This one really triggered me10
Creating a cluster with shared storage in Proxmox
Once you've learned how to configure a single Proxmox host and Linux and Windows guests, the next step is to expand...
Want to continue reading this article? Register here with your corporate email address. Because your private email address isn't good enough, we need your corporate one.
No TechTarget, how about you go fuck yourself? As if anyone is going to register just to read one fucking article on your goddamn shitty site. Fucking wanketeering dickheads.7
Few days ago i niticed one of my (site) accounts was deleted for inactivity. I thought fuck it, ion use that site, lets have fun. I wrote an email to get it restored:
"Sorry i got ass cancer and it took dr lil pump 2 years to cure me and couldnt use the site from the hospital"
Today, i got an email that i got my account back.4
I am a Windows person. I always argue how great it is.
Well, not today.
I was today years old when I learned that you CANNOT uninstall store app via store ;p You need to go to settings / apps and functionality / your app / uninstall
The photo app (Yes the one bundled with win10) doesn't work if you use Hard drive compression AND it is a symlink for OneDrive (So you don't need to keep all photos on the drive). Fucking Paint works without problems.
Email client : If you alt+tab too fast after hitting 'Send email", there is 50% chances that email won't be send. Basiclly you need to hit "send" and wait until you see it in "sent" folder.
Well, as i'm ranting, here for Linux too :
I have a small ubuntu server VM, worked very well for last 6 months. Now "System in read only mode". Fucking apt-get upgrade fucked with something. I don't want to look, so I'll just rebuild a fresh vm.
And macOS should take sometyhing too : Who the fuck decided "enter" is for editing the name of file ?! really !
Well, ALL os are shit, all have downsides, I need my own OS. But I still want AA games... So windows for me.27
Ok, I am actually losing my mind at this bad excuse of a work place.
This guy, that I had only briefly talked to in email twice before, never met or even had a video chat, opened a ticket like this:
I hope you enjoyed the end of last week, the weekend, and the beginning of this one! All well here. I ventured to [random place in London] for the first time on Saturday – liked it."
Now. I already can't fucking stand when colleagues that are not at all close start emails with "how was your weekend?" shit because then I have to waste another minute addressing that. But this guy took it to such another level that I literally had to read his email 3 times to believe what I just witnessed.
And of course he then went on and described the issue as folows:
"Just a quick note about the issue I have - could you let me know why the calendars are not syncing?"
Maybe if you fucking spent half of the energy of you writing a polite bullshit "hello" and instead used that to actually describe the issue I could help.
"OMG WE MISSED SOMETHING WE NEED AN EMAIL SENT TO EVERYONE IF X HAPPENS AND NOBODY DID A THING WITHIN AN HOUR!"
"OMG WE NEED IT SENT IF NOBODY DID A THING EVERY 30 MINUTES"
Um... not sure we're solving this problem right way ... but there you go done.
"OMG SOMEONE GOT AN EMAIL AFTER 45 MINUTES AND NOT 30 MINUTES"
Bro who the fuck knows why that happened, it's email not instant messenger .... that's what I meant by us solving this in the wrong way, email for this is dumb... how about we solve this process problem in some other way or you just fuck off ... this isn't a coding issue this is something else...4
FUCK YOU DIGITAL OCEAN!
I know, I fucked up because I lost my backup codes, but tell me, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU ANSWER AN EMAIL THAT IVE BEEN SENDING SINCE THREE WEEKS AGO?
Oh man, I fucked up...
I was doing after hours work for client, setup website with https.
Can't work over sftp with current user,so I give it the same user ID as apache, get files transferred and shit.
Go back to change uid, set wrong uid, now my user is ntp, I can't get into root, can't set password...
I fucked up
Tail between the legs, sent email to clients support, asking them to fix my user fuck up, waiting for reply
One of our clients IT team is lazy as fuck they slack too much, it took them 2 weeks just to respond our email (We already sent like 2-3 reminders in between).
Client:"We fucking pay you and it's still not ready, how much time it will take?"
Us: Just respond to that email ffs so we can proceed.
Client: Oh, there was an Email? we will have a look into that.
Even after, it took them 4days to send fields which were meant to be sent like 2weeks before.
(in between 4days we had called them just for the fields again and even after the fucking call they send that fucking fields after one reminder)
And of course, still, the blame game is on us.2
*Releases software for State project comprising of a solution with 3 WinServices and 2 WCF Services*
*Literally 15 min after release*
Email from State: "Here is an updated wsdl schema that is going literally fuck up everything you have released, enjoy!"
Me: *starts convulsing*
Using a mac from time to time:
1) Open browser
2) Open Gmail website
3) Insert email address
4) Press CMD+Q to write @
I woke up because someone was calling me to eat something since breakfast is out...
Then I check my email and people were pressuring me to finish project X (won't name because its private)
Oh my god let me catch a fucking break I've been coding nonstop for three days I'd appreciate if I get some leeway and rest? Fucking wankers.3
I just woke up this morning to an email saying that someone from chile logged into my instagram account and I'm not actually what set me of the most.
The fact that my password was leaked, the fact I literally never got notified that I had a Instagram account I never wanted or the you have to disable most privacy settings, just to reset your password.
Like holy fuck, I disabled all options I could find on firefox concerning privacy/tracking and it still tells me I should disable some privacy settings.
So I enabled chrome again (fucking system app) and it worked on first try. Just as expected...
Anyway, fuck instagram and thank you dear hacker for telling me that I had a worthless to delete.5
tldr: Fuck Apple AND Microsoft...
Tried to check my "me" email today (iCloud)... and well it's apparently "locked" for god only knows what reason, and they will only let me recover it through a Hotmail account that I haven't used in >10years.. So I tried that and after one login attempt outlook.com is telling me "you've entered too many wrong password attempts, you must reset your password"... ugh OK, so I hit the button and it's asking me "my" security question.. 'where did you and your spouse meet?'.. wtf? I'm not married now nor was I @12yrs old when I made this account....
Well thanks so I guess that's fucked for forever...7
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5
- Launch the new version of the system I have been refactoring for 2 years and counting, then ceremoniously burn (literally) the legacy code as well as the cluster fuck of hardware it runs on.
- Decrease my stress + bus factor by bringing another up to speed on my code & the new version (his cluster fuck now).
- Pay attention to & take better care of health, my wrists in patricular.
- Find a mentor and mentor someone else.
- Get out of crisis management mode and find the time to write tuts, experiment and live a little.
- Find & join a local dev meetup, maybe make a local dev friend.
- Book leave and actually take it, preferabbly without having to take my laptop to the beach - actually, preferabbly at least have the choice to take a offline vacation.
- Sort through the drives containing ALL the code I have ever written, migrate the usefull interesting bits to Github.
Phew, that bit of self reflection was intense! I'm adding a cron to my server to sms & email me this rant in a year to remind me what hope looks like.
Email is horrible.
CSS in email is fucked.
People never check their spam filter / who the fuck knows when the spam filter might decide legit shit is spam.
Every other god damn day some new shit comes up.
Today some sort of either antivirus or email filter or spam / malware detecting shit seems to be crawling every fucking link in an email our customer's send to their customer's.
Activating every option such as declining shit or accepting it... well actually ALL THOSE OPTIONS.
End user can't tell of course so I (and others) have to find this out.
When the CEO sends an email "start working on the project ASAP" all the METHODOLOGIES GO DOWN THE TOILET..... fuck you , you ignorant son of a bitch5
What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!
Trying to log into Gmail.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.
WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!
Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!
What the actual fuck?!11
So here goes my first rant...
I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.
I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.
I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.
Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.
Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".
What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.
So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.
If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.
Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)2
*sends out email about Coronavirus and suggests not being close to many people*
*immediately invites entire grades 9, 10, 11 and 12 to talk about how filming yourself throwing teachers is bad for half an hour*
Subscribed to CBS all access just for Picard and Lower Decks. Made the mistake of clicking on the Comedy Central icon by accident.
Two minutes later: email ad in my inbox advertising the Daily Show and Comedy Central.
Fuck you CBS. Double fuck you Viacom.4
Get a "Covid-19" email from an online service I last used 4 years ago. The email boils down to 2 sentences of "we are working remotely as we have always done, there is no impact".
3 paragraphs of "here are the services we offer you should check out".
I just found out today , that my pm had mistakenly committed the email id and password of his account(which he probably used for testing) in the public repo in github.
Although he subsequently removed it, I can see it in commit history.
The point is.....
I don't kinda like him...
Any mean ideas....?11
INTERVIEWER: Let’s say client wants a gif in the EDM design but older outlooks don’t support it. How do you solve it?
ME: Maybe we can try using iframes if outlook supports them and host gif somewhere and use iframes to show it.
INTERVIEWER: Any other solution?
ME: We can probably also detect the email client and just show gif for all other email clients but a picture for outlook.
INTERVIEWER: No but the client wants the gif to show on all email clients
ME: But outlook doesn’t support gifs!!!
I thought maybe I missed something having been a junior dev and never developing edms. So jumped on the internet after the interview and my second answer is literally how everyone does it. What even was the point of that question? At no point she said yeah that’s a good solution and that’s how we do it in the industry. If outlook doesn’t fucking support gifs then what the fuck kind of solution am I supposed to bring to the fucking table in 5 fucking minutes.7
So some asshole keeps sending phishing emails to every student and prof in our university and the IT department is too pathetic to block it. They all come from the same email and contain the same text yet they cant filter it and just send warnings not to click it.
Im getting sick of recieving 5 of these a day, i scanned and viewed the page and its just a simple form copying the outlook login page with a redirect to the actual page after submission.
Whats the easiest way to write a script that will spam them with thousands of fake accounts? How can i fuck with these guys?7
Friday afternoon, the week's work is finished, and I'm ahead of schedule.
An email arrives for another project.. "URGENT yaddayadda". The dickheads where it came from have taken weeks to react, and now it's urgent. Yeah, fuck you assholes, ideally with a smoothing iron.
On the upside, I'm not addressed directly, and that project isn't my task. But boss could make it mine in no time, and I think he would.
I don't even open the email, nobody has seen it anyway yet, AND I GO HOME! :-)3
Fucking recruiters. I get an email followed immediately by a phone call. Ffs can I at least have a little time to read your damn email and THEN call if I'm interested.
Fuck - have some respect that we might be working3
I finished a bunch of coursework yesterday and turned them in so that I could have some time to work on my side projects or self study for a few days before focusing on class again.
Today was gonna be my first day to enjoy this.
I recieve an email with the second batch of coursework thats due in a week. 7 quizzes, two exams, and 7 project labs.
Yeah, fuck you, too.2
Dear IT troll: I am not some idiot user. I FUCKING WRITE SOFTWARE! I actually CREATE CAPABILITY! I don't create "content", I'm not some fucking suit that pumps out PowerPoint/Excel/Email all day long. I don't need to be handed a consumers screwdriver, hammer, and wrench set. I need to be able to set up the technological equivalent of MY OWN FUCKING FORGE AND ANVIL! Do you get it? Do you understand me? Give me administrator access and go the fuck away. While you're at it, please quarantine this pile of silicon onto a limited access network if it makes you feel better. My development system doesn't need to connect to the wealth of bullshit in your precious little dumbed down corporate Wiki-wannabe Sharepoint system. Keep my creative space away from Test and Prod networks while you're at it. Just give me the goddamed tools I need to do my work and fuck off!8
Notification pops up at the bottom of the screen... it is an email from a Project Manager.
2 seconds later...
Project Manager via messaging app: "Hey, I've sent you an email"
fuck off bitch... I know that already, it is 20fucking19... notifications are reliable and they work. I don't need a human toast notification to tell me about the other notification that i just received.5
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.1
Soooo this Canadian mother fuck, own the domain I want, and isn’t using it, and doesn’t wanna sell it.. tells me he is using it for his business.. after a bit of research the domain went inactive after 2007. Hours after sending an email.. a wix site pops up. And then then tells me his buisness has been using it for 25 years.. really??! Per public record your buisness went defunct years ago.
Won’t sell me the domain... fine, I’ll buy all the domains with your name in it variants of your buisness name, and point them to gay porn.. FUCK YOU.. fire with fire BITCH!23
FUCK YOU GITKRAKEN
After all the suggestions in https://devrant.com/rants/1540091 I decided to give Gitkraken a try.
Here's the shitty experience you can expect:
1) It doesn't even ask you where to install it. Turns out, it spontaneously installs itself in "%LOCALAPPDATA%\gitkraken" - who the fuck installs software there??
2) It is "seamlessly integrated with GitLab", except the first time you open it you can only log in with your GitKraken or GitHub account, and NOT with a GitHub one. Just brilliant
3) After logging in, it spontaneously changes your global git username and email config, because fuck you that's why
4) If you have a repo on AWS CodeCommit with an remote that looks like "ssh://git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/...", *after the first push* it will spontaneously change it to "<user>@git-codecommit.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/bla/bla", causing future actions to fail. Because FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY.
And they expect people to pay for this shit, just to be able to manage more than one account at a time (and some "additional features" that are not even listed on the site)?
FUCK OFF, AND FUCK YOU FOR WASTING MY FUCKING TIME, HOW ABOUT I CHANGE YOUR FUCKING SETTINGS TO FUCK YOU22
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK YOU GOOGLE, you placed a damn email about an interview in the spam box and I only realized it 2 weeks afterwards. END ME, JUST DO IT NOW3
Why the fuck are you making me put in my email to look at a computer desk? I saw an ad and was curious about it and the price, so I clicked the ad. I don't give a shit and don't actually plan to buy anything, just let me look asshats.
Now this has take my faith away from any email I receive... Fuck that shit, Suggest me ideas to reverse spam them.9
Trying to reach a spam score lower than 4 with my HTML emails is the worst time I have ever had while developing.
Go fuck yourself, horrible email standards.
Go fuck yourself Gmail, for blocking images.
Go fuck yourself, conflicting standards.
This shit is just an absolute shit show.17
Spam assassin kills most of the spam I get before I see it. It works pretty well. However, I started getting a fuck ton of spam from some asshole on a Turkey server. You cannot forward spam to the gov anymore so what to do (They use a honeypot. Apparently it doesn't catch everything.)? Well I got the abuse email account address for the server. Then I went into my servers spam filter for the email address I am having issues with. Then I redirect the email to this abuse email address. Then I delete it from the server. This makes it so my email client never sees the message and I automagically notify the abuse account. If the abuse account is owned by the spammer then he is just filling up his own server with shit.
Anybody else have fun or interesting ways with dealing with spam the regular filters don't catch?3
So today was interesting.
I had to extract the domain from an email address and compare the domain to a hard coded whitelist, nothing difficult, fuck takes 2 min really.
Except the project starts throwing 500 errors for no god damn reason, like seriously, I double check syntax, nope looks fine, run pho's syntax checker on the file
# php -l /path/to/file.php
Nope says it's all good.
Checks error log on server -> no log
Comments out the few lines, saves, errors gone.
remove comments, error comes back.
Do this a few times, and magically the fucking thing stops throwing errors, now I haven't actually changed anything, and I know this project is so fragile I don't know how it stays running at times but fuck me this is a painful joke.6
I haven't felt an urge to post on here in a while just because things have been going so well. But this month, is just not that kind of month anymore.
I'm upset. I'm upset by how I've been uprooted from my routine. I know I shouldn't be that bothered by it and things always change. But what the fuck is this company thinking to be using it's own fucking home baked ticketing system!
WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS THIS SHIT!
Let's go over the issues it has
1. I can't fucking email my clients through it
2. all emails are not recognized automatically. In other words each new email creates a new ticket if it does not have the tracking number attached to it.
3. I have to fucking hunt around in my inbox that is now bombarded by every email that is created for this ticketing system. Slap on a fucking tracking number. And then HOPE TO FUCKING GOD that the person on the other end doesn't erase the subject and cause the system to create a new ticket just for it.
Let's go over Zendesk which they've decided to decomission.
1. I. DON'T. HAVE. TO. DO. ANY. OF. THAT. FUCKING. SHIT.
2. That's it. It's fucking simple
Seriously. They forced me off of my original platform because this company already had a "ticketing system", if you can even fucking call it that, working.
And just if you weren't aware, all of this change happened because my company got bought out. It got bought out by this behemoth company that isn't willing to let me continue using a system; that has been very efficient, mind you, and instead make me use their system.
I. FUCKING. HATE. THIS.
Every fucking day! I have to do this stupid bullshit of emailing clients from my personal work email instead of on the direct ticketing system.
When I first started using this thing I actually thought I could use it to email the clients. For a solid two weeks I was "communicating" to clients through their ticketing system. Only to find out that the entire time those clients were not getting my actual fucking email! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Then these guys tell me after the fact. "Oh that's strange... We never noticed that you can't send emails through it... We always just had used our work emails."
Are you fucking jerking my chain! You guys have literally been sitting in this slimy pit of hell for so long that you don't even know there are better options out there!
You don't have to fucking live this life!!
I don't think I'm going to make it. Something needs to change. And I know upper management isn't going to do it, because I fought hard to try and keep Zendesk. They are not keeping it. After this next quarter it is officially gone.
I'm trying to think of coding solutions to make my situation better... But I shouldn't have to fucking do that! There are perfectly good working solutions out there, and this company doesn't want to budge because "that's the way we've always been doing it"
I'm going to fucking rip out my hair.
Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.
Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."
I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.
Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?13
Fuck you, previous lead architect dictator! I spent a year arguing against your rigid nonsense custom built bullshit, and a year and a half after the client finally caught on and got rid of you I just got bitten yet again from one of your retarded over-complicated "solutions" to problems that never existed in the first place.
I wish I could send you an email and tell you about how I have thrown out all the useless shit you created and that we are all clearly better off now, but instead I will just share my frustration on DevRant and hope you read it and know exactly who you are.
I feel sorry for your current client.1
Fuck the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. when a friend comes crying for you for help with their hacked account and you keep asking them about what they did to protect it in the first place and they reply with nothing, no recovery email, no recover phone, no secondary verification, NOTHING. and you can do nothing but stand there and watch them cry while you can literally do nothing because there literally nothing you can do to retrieve their stolen accounts. FUCK BLACK HAT HACKERS.3
Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!
Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)
Fuck this shit -_-
Stupid stupid stupid API that returns a 204 on failed validations.
Informative docs? Hell no! Here's a few hundred long-ass field names that you need to pass as a JSON.
Doesn't work huh? Yeah, you're structure's all wrong. Some of these are grouped in vaguely named keys like "Wholesale".
Oh you need those as well? Yeah, you can see the whole structure if you try to GET an object.
Oh you need an ID to GET an object? Yeah you can just go ahead and create as many as you want. This is just a sandbox API, it's cool.
Oh that's not the point? Ahh you need the structure to be able to create one! *haha* Right, I'll get back to you on that.
* Email correspondence over 2 weeks time. I have still yet to be able to make a an actual successful request. The fucking 204 doesn't count if it doesn't actually create the resource.
Fucking fucky fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
I swear to god if I ever meet this guy in person, I will probably buy him coffee or beer and have a long talk about how to build proper REST APIs.
Because I'm nice like that.8
FUCK EVERY PAGE THAT DOES NOT STRIP CLEAR TEXT INPUTS LIKE EMAIL AND USERNAME.
FFS WE LIVE IN A TIME WHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO APPEND ".strip()" TO ACHIEVE THAT2
You know what? FUCK Australian employers. I know they'd be damn fucking lucky to have me on their team.
I just finished working on something that I made several years ago (what I raised funds for in my previous rant), I then took it a step further and automated the process [if some things], and now I have my own software finding me new leads and sending them to me via email and push notifications.
With a little bit of tweaking maybe, and a little bit of time, I expect to find some new clients again.1
Microsoft Excel, what a beautiful beautiful tool. Absolutely wonderful and insanely powerful.
But it annoys the fuck out of me whenever I see a poorly formated sheet.
How fucking difficult it is to format few cells and be consistent with it?!!
Presentation does matter and if you cannot format a single spreadsheet, I am judging you for sure.
On the other hand, a well formatted email/excel or anything, is a huge turn on.
Aesthetically pleasing things are good (which don't serve any underlying functional purpose).11
Fuck you Twillio.
You bought a perfectly good email service (SendGrid) and now this service is just.. failing.
All of theirs Ips are getting blacklisted. Our clients are calling us (Of course they are).
People cannot reset passwords, cannot get ANY email notification.
Right now, SendGrid is blacklisted by majority of anti spam systems.
Twilio, fuck you again. This service we were using for more than 5 years without ANY problem. Twilio fucked up.
Fuck you Twlio again. And when we create a “critical” ticket, all you have to say is “Meehhh we’ll contact you in a week” ? REALLY ? Even Microsoft contacts us in 2 hours for critical problems.
Sorry it needed to come out.10
Installed email 1year ago.
Customers today: "hey nothing work today"
Not payed the hosting.
My main mailbox is so full of spam i almost missed a good job test. Wtf
And these mails are so fucking irrelevant loan, cars, bank, life insurances... I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FILLING MY MAILBOX YOU ASSHOLES 😠😠😠
and what's even more weird is how they all have one common sentence in exact formatting : "you can simply WIPE Out your mail from the mailing list".
I feel as if my email has been hacked. Any suggestions?19
FUCK SPAM !
If you are like me and register to many services online and get spammed with spam (duh) and want to know which services is selling your data , you can register with an email like this :
let's say your email is email@example.com
and want to register to Service you can put firstname.lastname@example.org and mails will still reach email@example.com but appear as To : firstname.lastname@example.org so then you can rant about how Service is selling your data.
credits to reddit.2
Arghhh. Fucking hate when clients can’t be bothered to write an email but instead ring you up and spout off a load of important information regarding a project you worked on last week. When you are deep in another project, and expecting me to give answers. JUST FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD! This twat does it all the time.4
Fucking microshaft! I bought a custom controller from their shop as a birthday gift to my brother. Fucking first thing the website crashes with 500 with my main account so I call support. Said them its a backend issue and they should let the devs investigate. Support says they can't even contact them in anyway shape or form. Fucking great!
So since my account seems to has broken their backend I create another account using some random email while support tells me to fucking log in and out again (yeah man I tried that). OK wonderful new account worked I can buy the controller.
Now one year later the controller just fucking stops working (probably why its called Xbox one! controller). Wonderful I paid 90€ for that shit thing and now it won't connect anymore. Tried everything and searched countless forums, nothing helped. Fuckers say: JuSt ConNeCT iT tO YoUr XbOx oNe and it might magically work (TM). You fuck I bought it for PC why the fuck can I not just fix it using a PC. Do you want me to buy a fucking Xbox for 500 bucks just to get the fucking controller to work!? You shitfaced monkey!
OK then lets try that support again because that worked so well last time. I put in the serial number and... Fucking unrecognized number. Unrecognized number my ass. Go suck on a spiked club you buffoon!
Now I'm fucked because I don't have the fucking receipt anymore and the email was send to that fucking temp account I don't even know the email address for anymore (ノ°益°)ノ1
Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...
This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:
- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.
- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.
- There's no single source of truth.
- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?
- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!
- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?
- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?
Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.
What I would like to see:
A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.
Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.
Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.
There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.
Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.
In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.
What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.
Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.
In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.
Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.
I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.
Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.12
- wrong password -> Password field cleared and focused again
- wrong password -> Password field cleared and email field focused again and password field hidden because fuck you!10
"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"
Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.1
Once i receieved a mail for a google form and the google form was asking me for my email... I couldn't understand what the fuck should i even reply😅😅 like how did you even send me the mail in the first place😅😅
Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:
If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.4
Boss says: Why is our email not working get it to work again.
Me: What the fuck? Only because I am the computer guy does not mean I can make wine out of water.
The deployment didn't go 100% well, fine. The main menu got fucked up, fine.
But no one gives a fuck when you send an 15 words long email to 6 persons just whining about the fact that no delivery go well on the first try.
Learn to shut the fuck up sometimes.
So I get an email from college career development for a web developer & designer position.
Read into the requirements & function, I find this....
Who the fuck does put HARD CODING before CODING.. why would you even put that on the requirements. People are going to read that and find out how you run your company.
We all do some hard coding here & there but recruiters think it's a skill that comes before coding.. hard coding isn't coding hard...
They don't say company's name in email so I got suspicious.. or perhaps I thought I can be a detective lol. I was able to find out the company and looked at their Glassdoor.
Of course they have 1.6 stars.. two 1 star reviews by their employees. I can just imagine the horror working at this place lol.
Oh & the manager makes something like 110k.3
The Director of my employer's Firmware Engineering department, an older guy, sent out a department-wide email introducing a new hire. IN COMIC SANS.
Even though I am a new employee myself, I cannot let a disgrace like this pass unaddressed. So I politely and as respectfully as possible urged him not to use Comic Sans in a professional setting, and even offered rationale & alternatives.
He essentially responded, "No offense, but I'm gonna use whichever font I choose," but with that one simple sentence riddled with grammatical and spelling errors.
Shortly afterwards, he then sent out a mass email introducing me as a new hire. With my provided bio in a business-appropriate font, sandwiched between two hideous blocks of Comic Sans.
Honestly, how the fuck do people like this make it to a managerial position? >_>4
Listen, i really understand you want to know how much a certain resource is downloaded/viewed and so on. But what gets on my nerves is to sign up my email address every fucking time i want to see your semi-tech-but-actually-selling-you-a-pile-of-sperm-fermented-shit whitepaper . yes i know there is something called disposable email adresses and such... But if stuff is 'free' as you say you have, then make it available free!
Every time i think 'hey, this is actually relevant to my interests, let me read up more on that...' i hit the fucking 'insert your email for a free download'
Fuck off! Put your fucking form in the pits of hell and seal it in a fucking fucking dome next to fucking research subject akira with 99 fucking layers of fucking nuclear blast proof wall domes! I dont want you to fucking send me your fucking spam mails about every ideafart your sales dept has fired becausz they were high on computer cleaner spray tubes and thought 'let's trick those stupid people into our marketing scheme', go and fucking jump into a barrel of highly concentrated radioactive waste!
The only thing you manage to do for me like that is to fucking close the tab i had a slight interest in and never look back again!
Am i the only one getting angry about this?2
Google, please explain to me: Why the fuck would you create a hardcoded requirement in your libraries to use a plaintext json file with credentials to your API?
Credentials which give full access to all of the company email, addresses, cloud services, etc?
And why would you accompany this in your docs with example implementations which read as if they were an intern's first coding project — non psr compliant PHP, snippets of Go which won't compile due to type errors...
I'm starting to become convinced that the whole of the Google Cloud API was actually written by thirteen year old who found their parent's liquor cabinet.
Fuck this I'll build my own Google.1
Who the fuck congratulates themselves over email sent to others, these are the fuckers that will probably send you password in plaintext when you want to recover it.5
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1
My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.
So I had this Google account for all of clients social, hosting, etc.
Out of the blue client wants access to these accounts.
Unfortunately I had not logged into these accounts in a long time.
Now when I try to login Google is not sending 2f texts to my registered number, even the give code over call option is not working, my number is recieving texts and calls, so it's not a network issue.
To top it all off due to numerous attempts it won't let me try other options and my recovery email recieved security alert of the said attempts with no option of actually specifying it was a legitimate attempt.
Fuck this overly protective attempt at security and fuck the guy who thought it was a good idea to send emails about attempts but not including any option to actually do something about it.6
I sometimes forget windows is absolute shit. Then I get to work with one and remember. Specially since microshit has actually banned my email (because I didn't give it my mew phone number it's sulking like a creepy stalker) and so I can't even properly log the fuck in into a machine I was using a few years back. 😐
If someone makes a windows rip off that could properly deal with .exe files, count me a customer. (in future tho. I haven't got money for shit rn)8
bruuuuuuuuuh I got an email asking for tech LatinX people to join for a talk on our problems facing x shit in tech.
As a Mexican American (I am more American than Mexican, but whatever) and your standard gun tootin Texan: fuck you, do not call me LatinX
I know both English and Spanish (and other languages that won't disclose here because fk u) well and believe that adding such buuuuuuuullshit to my beautiful Spanish is utter nonsense.
I sent it to the network admin and ask him to block them fuckers from ever sending emails my way ever again as spam.
LatinX....what a fucking joke10
Did you ever had to integrate a fucking "API" that is done via mail bodies?
Fuck this shit! Who need responses about success or failure?! Guess this will take a long time to test this fucking piece of garbage... We don't get a test system, we need to test this with the production system of the other company. I hope their retarded application crashes when receiving malicious mails.
Not speaking about security, I bet everyone can send a mail to their stupid mail address and modify their data 🙈
And inside of this crap mail you also have to send the name, street and email of their company. Why do you fucking need this information?!1
Fucking EA Games and their fucking shit mailing system!!
All the sudden they start spamming me emails about their shit games nobody fucking cares about. I proceed to inspect the footer to find an 'unsubscribe' link and there was none, just a 'manage my preferences' link.
So I went there. After waiting a whole minute for a simple page to load (wtf) there is a checkbox saying 'yes please spam my inbox with EA's latest news about their shit games nobody cares about' and it was UNCHECKED.
So I leave it unchecked and click update (thinking it might actually unsubscribe me from this crap) BUT NO! I receive another email saying 'thank you, you stupid moron you just subscribed to our shit and will now receive even more of our useless email about how different the new NFS is and how rubbish the new Star wars game is...
So an employee sent a nice email saying she is leaving the company and this is her last day.
Then for the next three days I get reply-to-all emails saying “nice to work with you”, etc.
A. Why the fuck reply to all, I don’t care
B. Her last day was two days ago, wtf? Why are you replying?
C. Person leaving send that shit bcc. Though perhaps this was their final, `fuck you` to us all!
Just a whole pile of idiots.1
Anybody here know that shitty service called Birthday Reminder? Yeah? Fuck them.
Never signed up for the bullshit, but because some kiddo's I was in class with 10+ years ago (I think it started when i was ~12 yrs old) did, I keep on getting their spam. They have an unsubscribe button in their emails, directing me to a page that says I can only unsubscribe if I log in.
I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR YOUR SHITTY SERVICE AND I REALLY DONT WANT TO DO NOW EITHER.
Ofc I emailed them politely to remove both my email addresses from their databases.
And they are politely ignoring me.
PS yes I know I can mark them as spam, but I prefer just not receiving their shit at all. I have a very clean spam folder.5
jesus christ a fucking company funded at 110 million A seed round can't figure out why i'm still getting charged despite the fact that I unsubbed in fucking april
...and they're using stripe!
i've been using stripe with my SaaS for 3 years and never had an issue with a single customer - if they don't unsub themselves, they email me and ask me to do it for them, done.
fuck the world fuck everyone
i just really don't have the motivation or inspiration to do anything anymore
call it ego but this isn't fucking rocket science8
Client: drops a few devs in the standup
Everyone: wtf who are these people what what are they going to do?
Client: could you (me) help them get up and running and answer any questions they have.
New dev: where is the host file located?
Me (in my head): wait what you dont know? Wtf you have 'senior' dev in your fucking email signature. Go and fucking google
Fuck my life right now.1
fuck you office365, almost all fucking services. It is so fucking slow, takes ages to open 1 fucking email with only attachments. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!6
Tried to upgrade my internet connection from 25mbps to 75mbps. My ISP sent me a success message through email and sms and can confirm that the speed is legit (upload/download). One day later, no internet connection again. Why the fuck does this shit keep on happening to me. Quarantine sucks.4
Ugh... Spent the last hour figuring out why my Python script wouldn't send an email. Turns out my computer used a DNS cache that pointed to the wrong name server, but BT (shitty UK ISP) takes fucking forever to update their DNS. And obviously you can't edit the modem's DNS to the Google DNS, because fuck you that's why.
I want Richard's decentralised Internet right now.2
"Thanks XYZ-san for the clarification.
We will take the defect to next level." - A colleague in an email to the client
😐 the fuck does she mean take the defect to the next level!!!!2
I've been reticent to chime in on this weeks group rant, feels too personal...but it is what is is.
Most emotional was losing a dev to cancer, and an analyst to an allergy, and an engineer to an accident...ugh.
Most intense was probably losing servers and hard drives without recovery, not being able to get databases back online because they went down so bad, websites being down, not meeting some quarterly goal, shit not building, email campaigns that go sideways...fuck...anything involving reactionary leadership...unrealistic expectations.
But all that shit, while seemingly important or "stressful", pales in comparison to someone you fought with in the trenches not being there anymore.
restore -if friends
So I work at a company where we sell on eBay and Amazon...
Got an email from a colleague about a problem to do with end of day (marks orders as processed, dispatched online via API...
Was doing something in the office and since it was pretty silent, thought I'd ask about it, maybe get a little more info about the problem.. what was their response?
"Was my email not clear enough?"
Well fuck you, you miserable fuck.
Keyboards (like mine at work) that have play/pause, mute, volume up, volume down, but no next track or previous track are the absolute worst, like what the fuck.
Instead its got a fucking button for calculator, email and a home button.2
Big fucking rant....
3 employers, 3 sets of phone and in person interviews.
Guess how many provided even a scrap of feedback why they passed and did not hire me. I always ask at the end of the interview if I can address anything left out, if they have any concerns, etc.... Everything is fine, no concerns, we'll be in touch...
Except just to say no, but not why
What the fuck? Is this this just another form of ghosting? I don't get it - they spend hours interviewing. Mother fuckers can't even give 2 minutes to write a fucking reply email with a reason?
LinkedIn, if you have the nerves to send me an email, how about you also have some guts and tell me what that "notification" is about. Not that I care in the first place, but generally whenever I see the notification after logging in, I would think the same every time: That was a waste of time to read, even if it was in the email subject.
Like I care about some recruiter and his PHP shit when I've clearly stated as technology I want to avoid, have been deployed for 2 years and am using the tools I prefer.
I also don't care if I appeared in a search.
"Holy fuck, you appeared in that shitshow of a companies shithead recruiter. You better start celebrating like you won the fucking lottery and put your hips in a submissive position like a good boy"
"Thank you for using linkedIn, have you considered giving us money?" - automated bot of linkedIn stuff every now and then.
Is there some kind of fetish I'm missing that makes this an enjoyable or endurable experience?6
The latest scam someone that works with me fell for - I hope I just prevented the rest of my company from falling for (will know tomorrow). Firstly we use fucking imap, secondly how the fuck did you email me to tell me I can't receive emails???
Still pretty well executed.4
There is this thing we were able to take at college to get extra UCAS points.
At first I was like "fuck yeah might as well, doesn't seem too hard and its something I like so I wont be distracted"
Long story short, the website was badly designed. I got distracted. And I found out how to get admin rights over my marks (and rest of my project), and perform an xss injection.
Currently waiting for them to reply to my email asking about a bug bounty program.
Seriously guys, make sure you do proper server side checks.
I fucking hate the modern tech stacks that are forcing to use their products and workflows. Fucking Microsoft. Used to be good but now it's shit.
I had to email the written homework. After finishing it, I attached it and sent it to my professor via email (Outlook on Web). I did not pay much attention.
5 hours later he replies to me saying that he cannot accept this form of submission. I was confused because he mentioned that he wanted it only as attachment via email.
Turns out, Outlook did not attach the PDF. Instead, uploaded it on OneDrive, and embedded a private link on the body. It was 11:55 PM, I was working for 10 hours straight with that assignment and didn't pay attention at all before sending. Fuck this. He was generous enough to accept the submission after the deadline.
I am glad that I went away from Windows 5 years ago. I don't want to touch any MS product anymore. Hopefully they do not fuck up GitHub and implement it with their other half-assed products.4
Fucking Mediamarkt. I ordered a Switch and Animal Crossing which supposedly were in stock, immediately deliverable. Not only did they not arrive on time (which was already a week later) I still don't even have a purchase confirmation email. As you might have guessed now all Switch Lite models and Animal Crossing New Horizons are out of stock
For fuck sake, don't sell things you don't have! >:(6
Note to anyone who is thinking about using Google Inbox:
Don't use that fucking stupid cuntbag of a tool for important email accounts. Even though it uses POP3 as Google states, it just permanently wiped all 2700 emails from the account via IMAP without any reason just after it was setup, so that even all the locally saved emails on all of our devices connected via IMAP were deleted. Go fuck yourself Google.5
Fuck Apple with two pineapples in the ass. 99€ per fucking year to tell me how the fuck should the access to my app be. I damn require users to sign up. I only need email and country. Not a single other piece of data. My app is not a goddamn catalogue or boutique. No free content, free app but each user needs to Auth themselves. You fucking telling me y pay 99€ so you decide how the access to my app should be?
Cunt Apple should rot in 10 day old humid shit and let devs be owners of their apps and hard work. Clowns.7
Fuck Outlook, fuck creating email templates from scratch, fuck complex email designs...but most of all fuck outlook and people who complain thier email campaign/newsletter doesn't look right in Outlook2
Time to start a new interview since these shitfucks will never send me email to hire me and apparently it doesnt fucking matter if i passed hr and technical interview
quite frankly im very unexcited, tired and annoyed of taking interviews. My full time job has became taking interviews and nothing happening afterswards ever
This bullshit is extremely annoying. If this keeps on going i will demand getting paid for taking an interview. You have a privilege of interviewing ME, the LORD, and then fuck with me by reject or ghost me? You shall pay for the damages of wasting my time. Fuck you3
Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1
Got a scammer on my hook. Ideas welcome to fuck him/her over.
He/she confused me with someone else and messaged me acting as a support person of an exchange. I acted along and s/he is insisting on sharing account details.
Played along like a dumb internet noob and I think I got him to share his fake email id.
Now I'm thinking of ways to extract more details about him via email.
From top of my mind, these are some ideas I have:
- get his IP address
- zip bomb or something like that? But g mail is probably gonna detect that.
Ideally, If I could social engineer him to give his phone number, I could easily report him to police and find his identity.
Have you busted some scammers? Would appreciate some tips.7
Was trying to act super smart.
Created a *special* email account so that I could store all my passwords (and some email ids too) for different sites in which I logged in (development related sites).
Went on a vacation for a few days.
Came back and realized that I had forgotten the email id of that special account.
Fuck my life.3
Why the fuck do you need a custom email box on your website instead of just having your address there, nobody has a desktop email client set up that would work with mailto.
yes this is a plug for my new blog post
Just sent a series of design visuals for the client to look at for his new website, expecting some feedback. A few hours later he sends an email saying, "my main competitor" with a web link and nothing else. What the fuck am i supposed to do with that? Id already studied all his competitors prior to commencing the design visuals, how am i supposed to respond without being condescending?3
I thought I had lost a password to devrant on my old phone tried to rest my password I don't no which email I used among my army of emails address
Well my thoughts today are on a call worker who has a terrible work attitude.... fuck I hate3 this guy .. probably am tired of this job... is it too hard to ask for a company that has better pay and organised work flows .. here is hell hound projects come left right center everything is urgent the system is broke or roten from the core can never be fixed
Bought fucking nvidia gpu to test speed of some fucking machine learning models that generate speech.
6 hours wasted already for installing fucking dependencies
cuda, fucking tensorflow gpu, bezel and other shit
Fucking resetting password to download deb with cudnn,
really ??????? fucking emails are not delivered to my fucking mailbox
After mass click of send email and multiple account ban and unban I figured out I should login to nvidia website and then allow access to fucking developer every time I want to log in there - fuck shit
Uninstalling everything now looking for fucking compatible versions between software.
10 years in this business still fucking installation of dependencies is most difficult part
Fucking corporate business and their shitty installation instructions to fuck up peoples lives and switch them to the cloud.
Same was with fucking kubernetes
Fucking software dependency hell
It’s worse then ever before.
I wrote a longer rant but fell asleep while trying to write it. I just wanted to say FUCK EMAIL. Fuck it all. It is cancer. Setting up a mail service for sending "forgot your password?" and registration confirmation type messages is one of the shittiest computer related tasks I've done in my entire life.8
What the actual fuck is wrong with companies that have websites with useless buttons. And i mean useless like a "Click here for our api documentation" which takes you to a contact form that you fill out and wait 3 days for someone to email you a link to a publicly accessable webpage on the same fucking website, a link that is just an extra tier on the contact forms link 😠 or they make their website a motherfucking labyrinth just to find the api documentation or a phone number to contact them.
When people give you something related to IT and expect you to know everything about it, literally because you have an IT job.
For example; my aunt out of no where shoved me her phone and said 'here' she expects me to know her Facebook email address and password. When I say, it's your login details, I don't know them she states 'Oh well your in IT you can fit it right?'
Never have I ever been nervous about a meeting. Clients come to me all the time requesting a meeting. I've had positive reviews ever since I started.
However two days ago I received an email about an interview that takes place in the morning. And I decided to fuck up my fucking beard in tryig to groom it! FUCK!2
FUCK YOU MyThemeShop FUCK YOU with your shitty licensing solution. I'm just trying to develop a fucking wordpress site on my own fucking local computer. Why TF will you not allow me to fucking sign into my own account. all it fucking does is infinitely load and it does not do fucking anything. you advertise 24/7 support but it takes your fucking bitch ass support team over 10 hours to reply to my dead fucking simple email. ALSO why the fuck can I not change what domain my theme goes to from the online panel. I'm trying to fucking use ngrok and now i cant because it is by domain and not by site. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LAME ASS FUCKING COMPANY GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH.7
These goddamn fuckers who every week spam people because their CI or code is broken. Apparently it's more important than other projects. Douchenuggets send an email and CCs the whole department and all the bosses and basically says "It's all broken, the whole company needs to work on this asap, it's possibly x other person's fault".
Then when you try to troubleshoot it because bosses want it fixed, the dumb pieces of fuck made a bug in their code that they could have easily fixed if they took the time to troubleshoot themselves instead of panicking like jackasses. Or better, have good tests and actual error handling.
I swear some day I am gonna get into a fistfight I started because of this bullshit.
Used own fake/spam mail to sign up here... (real address I kept for several years)
Wants to get stickers but need to send them real name and address with this email account..
Well fuck :~
I did some online shopping on the weekend. And oh man, this retailer’s checkout had so many problems.
I placed an order for a 2022 edition of their magazine. My confirmation page lists the 2020 edition. I didn’t get a confirmation email and I’m sure my email was right.
I chat with customer service and they said my order was for their car buying guide. You bet my my response was what the fuck.3
I feel like such an idiot every time I use windows just slightly beyond clicking buttons. I'm trying to write a very simple macro to simply send an email out when I receive an email with a particular header. and no, outlook doesnt support that with rules. so now I have to use this garbage IDE, writing a script in a 25 year old language, with every bell and whistle button you could possibly think of and no way of figuring out how to do anything without being balls deep in a decade old forum post. I hate microsoft more and more every time I use it. I thought maybe if I got good and started "dev"ing with it more, I'd hate it less, but no... its always some super clunky application with shit tons of buttons and you dont know what they do, and when the app breaks, it gives you some hex number and nothing else, and sends all the good stuff to microsoft so they can fix it in the next "big update" thatll fuck up youre entire days worth of work and kill an hour of your precious time. Ugh.1
I fucking despise making whatever website that needs to send emails.
The final user won't probably receive the emails bc of spam, the customer wont like this and blame me or the company I work for, but never actually PAY for an email service to send emails.
And almost nothing works with the old-ass domains here in Italy, but people will still use those old-as-fuck emails just because they can't make a new one on gmail or outlook.1
Fuckin twats at Nike.
How the fuck did you manage to accept a non existent email as a valid email for the fuckin accounts you suckers
Last 2 runs were unable to sync so i had to logout before seeing that the account mail i used when i created the account has a misspelling which I didn’t notice until now but yet, the account was created.
Suckers i lost all my runs the last years which were about 300+ K km.1
Just an idea...
Fuck scam calls and texts. I feel like wrapping their phone cords around their necks and beating them with the handset.
So short story long, I'm looking at developing a website that has a list of websites and endpoints for text and call subscriptions. The stupider the better. Enter the annoying phone number or email address, subscribe them to every damn service on the list, and let the fun begin.
Has anyone got any such websites they'd like included?6
I fucking hate how almost every website now requires your email to be able to download a simple document template
Why tha fuck do you need my email for????
just let me download your fucking template6
Today i asked someone for their email so i can send a project to them..
He responded .....@yahoo.com idk why but i just wanted to punch him in the face who the fuck still uses yahoo2
Fucking fuck I had this one dashboard website I used some time and then stopped, they were sending me lots of trash via email since, but now when I actually need it again, I can't find a single trace, does somebody know some website where you can simply send a curl to with some number and it will save and graph it in a dashboard?6
I wish I could get our technical lead fired for incompetence. No transparency about deadlines (it's always "Oh and we need it today"), always overpromises to business ("I told them you can deliver this in two days" - we estimated a week's worth of work), and she never documents anything except through email (she never uses Jira, which we use for our task logging - we end up creating the tickets ourselves, which she never reads or updates either when there are blockers she needs to address).
Dozens of retrospectives later trying to find a solution to her poor organizational skills have failed to produce anything remotely close to an answer. She just stubbornly refuses to change or improve. I'm at my wits' end just dealing with this on a daily basis to the point I can't wait to clock out and go home.
It's a Friday tomorrow. I intend to slack off and just put in a couple hours of work because fuck her and fuck this company and its inability to fix itself.1
Dear emailing list,
Do not send me a confirmation email to let me know that my cancellation to your stupid email list was successful. Fuck you. I don't believe you.
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
So if you recall, my last rant was about last minute, supposed critical-severity, ASAP due date requests being made, and me telling them to fuck off.
So today the boss' boss' boss called down and said a different task needs to be done by end of the month.
So now my current tasks get pushed to next month, and the person who needed their task done ASAP will now more than likely get it by mid june. Amazing.
And if you've been actively following my other rants, this is the same section manager that sends a quirky email out at the end of every night about what she's been fucking with lately.
I WANT OFF MR TOAD'S WILD RIDE
Started looking for a new job....
First job I replied is to a company that is always requesting workers because they only pay minimum wages and bosses are stupid fucks.
They didn't even had the name of the company in the announcement. Only saw it in the email.
My reply: No thank you. I was already interviewed by your company and I know it's fame between machinists. If I wanted to get minimum wages I would be working in cleaning.
Fuck them. Exploring workers like slaves.
10:15 on a Friday and already...
- accidentally nuked dev copy of htdocs (fucking fuck!!! shit!)
- remote work for the summer has been cancelled
- irritating client (with a bunch of incorrect assumptions and pedantic requests) believes they deserve top priority and instant service and are blowing up my phone/email
- construction workers in and around office being disruptive
- other projects stalled for no reason
I’m looking forward to booze and sleep.3
Just did an elixir job interview for tsg global, 10 hr test, got the email of fuck you email. Do not fuck with this company they will scam you out of your time i should have spent my 10 hrs wiser lesson learned, im going to be a homeless elixir dev with 20 yrs exp. All cuz parasitic companiess like this. I submitted a prod ready solution that was most likely what they wanted built and i did fir free cuz i dont wanna be homeless. I hate life.2
The fuckers that made my university’s website are absolutely fuckin trash. I’m trying to make a program that gets the page and creates lists with the names of professors and some more info and i fuckin can’t because they are retarded.
How bad can you be that you cant even fuckin create a simple html table with their fuckin names in it so when i scan it i fuckin get a name of a professor and an email of a different one attached to it. FUCK OFF2
What wrong with the MNC's. I am trying to create a new folder for email templates in DEV server. I have been busy for two days to take the approval from Manager, Infra team and architect. Are you serious two productive days to give approval to create a folder???
Fuck the system. Fuck you MNC.
Been getting emails all fucking week like this, even had 4 seperate phone numbers call me up from a private or unknown number, guys, fuck off, please.
Think I need to have a chat to my domain host as to why people are getting my fucking phone number and personal email!6
What email service are you using for your domains? I used zoho for a while, but those assholes keep randomly locking my accounts (an email always activates those again, but fuck knows how much emails I missed during not noticing it) - thought about going with the general hype of Tutanota around here, but it seems like it doesn't really support multiple custom domain mailboxes? Also tried just now msgsafe.io - it seems fine, but the way it handles multiple domain mailboxes is just disgusting, because it just throws them all together and you have to "filter" to get mails from only one domain.26
So Google create inbox, a pretty good email client with nice interface and features, it works really well and has people using it. Why the fuck they decide to close a working thing? Gmail is a big piece of shit, the interface is awful, can't group mails correctly and lacks a lot of inbox functions.
They can't at least give you an inbox-like Gmail view?4
When after registration on some website you get your password, that you just set, send back to you in an email. Why the fuck do they store and transmit passwords in plain text.4
You fucking fucktard! First, learn how to fucking read an email and secondly, I was referring to the fucking login issue you mentioned before, not the fucking logout issue!!! Serioursly!>!?!?!?! How the fuck do you function!
Fucking belgium fucktard!7
Got an email “Welcome to Amazon Web Services” to an old GMail account I no longer use. Seems genuine with no links to shady websites or anything. Does Amazon not verify email addresses or how does that happen?
Also, the mail says I have now 12 months of free tier access, so will they start billing me instead of the random fuck who signed up with my email address?3
Maven simplejavamail dependency import, build email, try send it: jakarta.mail.messageexception whatever, not class def found. After some googling: Depends on jakarta-mail. Find jakarta-mail dependency, include it in pom, start again: jakarta.mail.someotherclassexception, no class def found.
Yeah fuck you, too...2
Meetings...so many meetings! Things that suck the very soul from my body and break me out of the zone I worked so hard to get into. Things that could just be an email, or a chat, or a go-fuck-yourself. 😣😭
OK, I've got a couple customers I provide e-mail hosting for, but recently it's been...more trouble than it's worth, to put it simply. I'm looking to offload that part of what I do onto another service.
Does anyone have any recommendations for e-mail hosting services? Bonus points if they have good customer support.3
Fuck the long process to make a new Microsoft Azure account. It needs both a verified email and a verified phone number, and (especially) doesn't accept a Google Voice number, which is the main number I actually use for everything. And of course, this is after doing the exact same process to make a new Microsoft account.1
I needed to send feedback through email, so I use thunderbird as my default email client, and as soon as I hit the send button, the message failed to send, where then I’m prompted to login to my gmail account on my computer.
Hey google, go fuck yourself. Gmail on computer is a fucking piece of trash. If you had not shut down inbox just yet, then I would use that. Gmail takes like over 40 seconds to load on my computer, which is why I use thunderbird because of that. I refuse to use your horrible piece of trash website and now you want me to login again. Seriously just fuck you.
Also, I’ve been getting Chinese spam in my main inbox rather than in the spam folder ever since this COVID/coronavirus shit started. Know any better choices? I would like something that is free, as long as they don’t have an affiliation and/or partnership with google.2
Me: This email template design is simple and is easy to read.
-inserts customers text that looks like they took a shit on their keyboard and somehow hit send-
Me: Oh fuck it looks horrible now :(
Can't save customers from their own wads of shitty text....1
The VCS I love is Git with GitLab.
The way client code reviews is via email pointing outline number for explanation and expects to send the zip file of the entire project via Google Drive.
why the fuck git exists??
Want to send an email? Sure thing, how about you configure first a DKIM, DMARC, SPF and some reverse DNS. Otherwise your mail can go fuck itself, because it won't even make it to the spam folder. Even if you do all these time consuming fuckwit tasks I might just mark your mail as spam. Because fuck you, that's why.
Sending mail to Gmail in a nutshell.2
Fucking wrong parameter number.
IF(company_contact_ids is null, 0, contact_count) as contact_count
COUNT('company_contact.id') as contact_count,
GROUP_CONCAT(company_contact.id) as company_contact_ids
left join `company_contact` on `company_contact`.`company_id` = `companies`.`id`
where name like '%:name%'
group by `companies`.`id`
order by `name` asc
) as companies;
how many parameters do you see? I see 1.
Now how many parameters you see in $bindings array? I see 1
Fuck you laravel creators - it is not fucking wrong count. Why this error lies to me? Or what fucking count do you expect if I defined in the fucking query 1 parameter?3
My company wanted me to make a signature for the google mail employee accounts but google said its too long even though the limit is at 10,000 symbols and it only had 300 letters visble with 3 images. Then I realized that google counts all the html stuff as symbols. I spent the entire day on optimizing the signature and wondering why it didnt fuckn work until I sent an email with a shorter version and looked at the source code. 9000 symbols. What the fuck google. No more computer stuff for today. Brain is #Fried
Holy fuck for me Mercedes episode 1 where the dysfunction is real but the descriptions of simple programs planted on someone’s computer make a delete command or patches email client look like the work of a god
And Omfg meanwhile
Why am I watching this ?