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Search - "dumb ass motherfuckers"
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I had a huge epiphany on Friday... not all developers enjoy coding.
Discovered when they brought down 2 of our environments, well told them what was wrong with the changes in their code that caused the environments to break, gave them links directly to the file in the gitlab repo that needed to be updated, and...
They fucking went home. The change would’ve taken all of about 30-45 seconds to update and they fucking left.
This person’s team lead come storming in pissed off because her manager is furious about 2 environments going down and preventing everyone else from being able to deploy their changes.
We provide the exact same details to the team lead about what needs to be changed, and advise that her team member took off....
30 mins later, her manager is storming up to us (devops/sre) livid as hell.
Explain the situation for a third time... manager is like, why can’t you guys fix it?
Look here you dense motherfuckers, we can fix the code. We can be the plumbers that clean up your shit. But what value do you gain as a developer if you don’t understand how the systems work and you keep pushing shit in?
Made the changes, fixed the environments, done right? Wrong.
The original developer made more changes not knowing what would happen and thoroughly fucked the environments again.
This dumb-fucking dumpster fire of a dude then sends us a slack message. “It’s down again, can you fix it?”
Our manager steps in and tells us to send him a link to the logs and have him fix it himself!
Thank goodness we have a badass manager.
Send logs, send repo file links (again), and send line numbers in the logs to try and help just a bit more. Dude goes almost the whole day without fixing it, environments are down, other devs are pissed, we throw this dude to the wolves. His manager starts to head over and was about to talk with my team lead when our manager steps out of his office and tells him the in’s and out’s of the situation and that our job isn’t to play log parser/error fixer for the developers. This dude that’s breaking the environments needs to be the one to fix the issue and his team lead should be aware of the problems and should have been able to correct his errors before it ever came to us.
The amount of hand-holding we do is ridiculous.
(Disclaimer, this one guy making some mistakes doesn’t sound too bad, but this is actually a common occurrence for like 40% of all of our developers)
We literally have interns still in college running circles around some of our full time devs. I know I’m not a developer, but for anyone that’s new-ish to developing, when you see shit like that please don’t lose hope. Those ass-hats got into programming purely for a paycheck, not because of passion.
Stick with it and your greatness will know no bounds 👍
As for you craptastic dipstick lickers, FUCK YOU!!! Go back to school and learn how to give a damn.4 -
Software Engg here, applying for PhD after working 2 yrs @top5 giants.
Everyone is saying, without any "research experience", I stand ZERO chance of admission.
So, I'm expected to leave my 7 figure job, be someone's bitch for 6m to get a paper , and then maybe, JUST maybe I will be eligible for admission. WHY CAN'T I JUST LEARN IN THE 1ST YEAR OF PhD ?
STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD GET INTO PhD ALL THE TIME. EVEN SOMEONE WHO CANT CODE FIBONACCI USING DP, GETS IN BY SHOWING FAKE RECO LETTERS(CASH), HIGH GPA (GATHERED BY LICKING EVERY TEACHER'S ASS), AND "RESEARCH EXPERIENCE" FROM PRIVATE UNIVERSITY BECAUSE THEY ARE TOOOO DUMB TO GEY INTO GOVT UNIVERSITY . (Seen myself)
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I Don't get into PhD, this year, I'll probably loose my shit.10 -
Notification pops up at the bottom of the screen... it is an email from a Project Manager.
2 seconds later...
Project Manager via messaging app: "Hey, I've sent you an email"
fuck off bitch... I know that already, it is 20fucking19... notifications are reliable and they work. I don't need a human toast notification to tell me about the other notification that i just received.5 -
A few months ago I bought an e scooter to get from home to work.
The backstory to this:
My car broke down on the highway, my sister's car broke down on the highway and we didn't have another car apart of my dad's anymore.
Which means I had to look for another car. The cars between 1k-5k € are dogshit and when you want to register the car you have to have an appointment at a government building which happens to be closed when I'm getting out of my 8-5 job.
I had enough and bought an e scooter.
Now back to now:
In the beginning it was cool.
Could get anywhere I wanted to in combination with the Germany ticket. Except for the Netherlands where my beautiful girlfriend is.
There I can legally not use it but that's ok lol.
The German government is hyping e mobility and public transportation up, but for what?
E mobility currently sucks ass with all the shit laws for e.g. e scooters and when you want to transport it in public transport, people give you weird looks, the bus driver wants you to buy a bicycle ticket even if I can fold the e scooter and more. The scanners in the bus of the German buses cannot read my German ticket for some reason and every bus driver in my city knows that and they just look at it and are like "Ok, you're cool. Continue moving", but this old grandma looking ass bitch is like "No, according to the law you need to show it to the scanner and not to me". I fucking know. I've been doing this shit for a year and you know that but it doesn't work. It says to me that I need to show it to you instead of to the scanner bc this machine is fucking dumb and apparently I'm holding the people because I started a discussion with her. This driver ... ugh. The buses in my city come whenever they want as well.
Like sometimes 5 minutes earlier, sometimes up to 30 minutes later.
Inconsistent motherfuckers and I am the one making everyone wait? Suck my donkey kong balls.
German trains... well you know how that goes. It doesn't. It sucks ass.
Every single fucking train line has a problem. Either a previous train has something, or staff is missing, or a technical error or the train driver's ass is itchy and needs scratches from his assistant. There's always something.
When I want to travelled home from my gf I spent not lying 8 fucking hours on the trains on Sunday.
Normally it takes max. 5 hours with a train and 3-4 hours with a car.
I can also go on a rant because of the Dutch train system because it also sucks, BUT they are reliable. They are there when they say they are gonna be there. 99% of the times.
In Germany it is somewhere at 10%.
Now I realized that e scooters are uncomfortable and expensive toys who need maintenance just like a car but nonetheless they are reliable unlike the public transport.
In the winter it will be even worse.
Electrical cars are way expensive and affordable electrical cars you need to keep charging every few baby steps.
I also looked at 125ccm motorcycles which you can drive if you upgrade your existing car driver's license, but ngl that's a scam. Not worth it at all.
And that's why I am looking for a traditional car now. E mobility is not there yet in Germany and public transport is not doable at this moment.15 -
For a little background on the sort of stuff I'm dealing with, check out my last rant.
Anyways, I'm testing this pipeline at work and was just reminded of the fucktarded way a "software engineer", who had a bachelor's biology degree, decided to handle a json file.
The script is question is loading a json file containing an array of objects. The script is written in perl. There's a JSON module. Use that? Fuck no! Let's rather perform an in-place sed command on the file substituting the commas separating objects in the array with newlines, then proceed to read the file line-by-line and parse out the tokens manually. Mind you, in the process of adding the newlines he didn't keep the commas, so now all of these json files his bullshit handled are invalid json that cannot be parsed.
The dumb ass was lucky the data in the file is always output upstream as a single line and the tokens for each object are always in the same order, so that never led to problems. But now, months later after I fixed his stupidity I am being reminded of it again as I'm testing and debugging some old projects as part of regression testing new changes I'm making.
TL;DR Fuck dumbwit motherfuckers who can't even google search "parsing a json file" and doing literally anything that is less fucktarded than manually parsing a json file2