Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing

Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable

(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented

4am

"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*

1minute of heavy processing later

"FUCK"

wow devrant, you finally did it.

I guess my brain needs more processing power, or better recovery times?

So they were having trouble with the server always being slow and maxed to 100%, so the boss told me when wait times were hitting 5+mins due to server trying to catch up, he complained at me, said if I could get the wait time to 30sec to instant he would raise my pay to 90k a year, then walked away after I agreed, I was quite serious but I don't think he thought I was, so I decided to look over the system, IDK who but they put all the calculations and processing server-side for the CA's on floor then sent the completed view to the CA, so I spent months recreating the entire system except the server only pulled the data needed then the new client would do all the processing on their computer since they weren't doing anything anyways, I did a practice run today as its one of our peak days, wait times went to barely 5secs or "instant" according to CA's, I walked into the office, slapped that hourly report down after just two hours and showed the massive increase in employees production times.

That look on his face...
That look on my face...
That look on my next check...

Bliss

In the age of multithreading, parallel processing, and non-blocking IO, you still get messages like this.

Hey everyone,

For about the last 24 hours, there was unfortunately an issue with the algo feed where scrolling did not show more rants. This has now been fixed.

One of our background queues stopped processing for some reason which caused rants to not properly get marked as read for algo.

If you notice any other issues with this, please let me know. Thanks!

!rant
Who needs Photoshop or Sketch , when you have code.

Trying out some Generative type.
Still in love with Processing.

“That regex almost worked, lemme just tweak it a bit–”
*2 hours later*
“Fuck it we’re processing strings character by character with a while loop like granddad did.”

Boss: I need to know how much resources a server would need to serve 20000 users at the same time

Me: Sure, can I see the webapp?

B: There's not one yet

M: Ok, can I see its documentation then?

B: There is none

M: But ot depends on the programming language, libraries used, what kin-

B: It's an e-commerce. Try browsing Amazon and see how much they nees to handle the page requests.

Me: *still processing* wh-

Boss: I have to give an estimate to a client within 30 minutes. Hurry.

So.... Uh... I guess i have to hack Amazon now?

*Interview*

Interviewer: We have an opening. Are you interested to work?

Me: What is that I'll be doing?

I: What technologies and languages do you know?

Me: I know Scala, Java, Spark, Angular, Typescript, blah blah. What is your tech stack?

I: Any experience working on frontend?

Me: Yes. But what do you use for it?

I: Can you work with databases?

Me: I can, on SQL based. What are yours?

I: Can you do big data processing?

Me: I know Spark, if that's what you are asking for. What is it that you actually do?

I: Any experience in cloud development?

Me: Yes. AWS? Azure? GCP?

I: Do you know CI CD?

Me: Excuse me.. I've been asking a lot of questions but you're not paying attention to what I'm asking. Can you please answer the questions I asked.

I: Yes. Go ahead.

Me: What will be my position?

I: A full stack developer.

Me: What technologies do you use in your project?

I: We use all the latest tech.

Me: Like?

I: All latest tech.

Me: You mentioned big data processing?

I: Yes. Processing data from DB and generating reports.

Me: what do you use for that?

I: Java.

Me: Are you planning to rebuild it using Spark or something and deploy in the cloud?

I: No we're not rebuilding it. Just some additions to the existing.

Me: Then what's with cloud? Why did you ask for that?

I: Just to know if you're familiar.

Me: So I'll be working with Java. Okay. What do you use for UI?

I: Flash

Me: 🙄

I sat for a couple of minutes contemplating life.

I: Are you willing to join?

Me: No. Not at all. Thankyou for the offer.

Thank you Java Visual VM... Apperently my program is so good that I now have 8 times my processing power...
That's very useful

My try at the fractal tree :) This sort of simple graphical code is very quickly satisfying, gonna try to add some wind next

Got this message from processing

This warning message from Processing ..

Let's appreciate her contribution to the image processing field.

I am traveling 550 Km (9hrs) just to give my first interview for the position of Jr. Natural Language Processing Engineer.
Wish me luck...

I've always elected to program a lot of my tasks instead of manually inputting them. Using a computer to solve repetitive tasks is the name of the game.

New client wanted us to redo their site and boost their SEO because "nobody has ever used our contact form".

Looking at their current site, turns out their contact form is POSTed to an HTML page, that obviously does 0 processing on it. Like tossing it on the trash bin.

Their current website is done by a company that claim they're experts on web design for our clients sector.

Still haven't stopped laughing.

"Yeah, we didn't send out a notice about changing the format. We figured you'd notice when your code stopped working."

I just want to say FUCK YOU to the guy who had the great Idea of putting the EDIT button 10 pixels away from the DELETE button on this internal batch processing scheduler tool.

Been coding for hours, trying to automate the processing of over 500 rows of data, I refuse to do that manually.

At least I have company

Setup a pi to be functioning as vpn server and pihole tonight.

Now working on a Jasper voice assistant on another pi, because I can choose for offline speech processing and don't have to use a mass surveillance network for this (google).

Today is a good day.

When I managed to minimize the processing time of the project I'm currently handling. It went down from 30min-1hr to 7min-15mins. The project owner was so happy, said it made his life easier. I was told I did a good job by my manager.

I feel like a real dev then and there. So whenever I'm having a bad day, feeling insecure, I try to remember that day when I was able to do something right. :)

WIP - Scarlet Witch project
AKA me collecting/cleaning/processing data while someone else will get the glory 😂

Finally got myself a Lytro Illum!
I,v been wanting to buy one since it came out but the company who made it closed down in 2015..
Thoose fuckers just thrown everything in the trash and set it on fire, software, firmware, mobile app etc.. no open source, no archives, your expensive camera is now a paper weight! You’r welcome!
So i got myself a new hobby, started reverse-engineering the fuck out of it, luckily it’s based on android (api17), i have adb and it’s running a hidden DHCP server too so it’s coming along nicely :D
I’m planning to make a camera control mobile app for it and maybe some faster image processing, wifi sharing etc..
I love beeing in home office :D

On the top of a mountain, while skiing, -6 °C, no gloves, on my phone.

I use a live wallpaper I made with Processing and it uses gps location and forecast datas to change the background image according to the environment and climate. It sucks and drains battery like a bitch, and as soon as I got the top of the mountain it fucked up everything, home screen froze and camera wouldn't open.

So guess what, it was debug time. Hands dead cold and APDE with no autocomplete on a smartphone keyboard. The agony.

My gf yelled at me and after 10 minutes I switched to a static wallpaper, uninstalled that one and never touched it again since then

A co-worker at the city-government just chose the wrong mailing list and send an e-mail to EVERY SINGLE emlpoyee (about 20'000 people, including our police-department, hospitals, councils etc.).
Within A MINUTE hundrets of people responded to the mail by using the "reply all" button, pointing out that this mail obviously wasn't meant for them.
After another minute the same douchebags sent another mail (of course using the "reply all" button AGAIN), asking to be removed from the mailing list and stop spamming them.

Even two hours after blocking the mailing list immediately, our mail servers still are processing all those damn mails.

RIP exchange servers
RIP inbox
RIP faith in humanity

Edit: typos

*fortunes and tons of research spent on machine learning, signal processing and pattern recognition*

People:

So you are telling me I can run tensorflow.js on the browser and use user's GPU to power my models!
Oh Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!

*When your processor is left with no power to create a process to kill the process that's consuming all your processor's processing power.

So I've been exporting a JSON dump of ~120GB for hours and when trying to processing it, and write it to a new file, I wrote to the same file. FML. Hours of export became 0 bytes in no time. Think its time to get some sleep.

!Rant

Learning Processing and Generative Art , still a Noob but loving it.

It's awesome what Code can do.

Thread.sleep(4000);
// to make it look like it's processing

Wanted to automate some stuff through bash scripts but did want to separate tasks so I wrote two bash scripts for data processing.

Hmm.. two scripts..... how could I even further automate thi....

*writes script which executed those two scripts*

😄

So I'm looking to buy a drone for my internship company to find people during floods. And damn these companies suck balls.
Closed source.
You want to use API for onboard image processing?
Buy a €3500 drone
Add €1100 processor stuff
Add €850 camera
ugh.

Never heard of a so terribly designed online game.

For starters: the client-server model is process everything on the client, then save it on the server, and due to the nature of the site design, simply changing a tag will give you another of money.

The PayPal processing system doesn't read any headers or anything of that sort. So if you cancel your payment, this game thinks you've paid anyways.

Also, the trading system is based off of what buttons you can see so if you can see the cancel button it must be yours. So if you copy the cancel button to someones trade offering (FYI this is all done locally), and you click it you have gotten said item(s).

It gets worse, but I don't remember much more than that. The one thing they actually do is make session IDs expire.

Doing linguistic research where I need to parse 2000 files of a total of 36 GB. Since we are using python the first thing I thought was to implement multi threading. Now I changed the total runtime from three days to like one day and a half. But then when I checked the activity monitor I saw only 20 percent of the CPU usage. After a searching process I started to understand how multi threading and multi processing works. Moral of the story: if you want to ping a website till they block you or do easy tasks that will not use up all power of one core, do multi thrading. If you need to do something complicated that can easily consume all the powers of a single CPU core, split up the work and do multi processing. In my case, when I tried to grab information from a website, I did multi thrading since the work is easy and I really wanted to pin the website 16 times simultaneously but only have 4 cores. But when it come to text processing which a single file will take 80 percent of cpu, split it up and do multi processing.

This is just a post for those who are confused with when to use which.

So today I saw this guy:

long size = long.MaxValue;
//method that may or may not set
//size

int[] array = new int[size];

Apparently we are processing blu-ray movies in place in memory.

Two new coworkers step in. HR hasn't set up their accounts yet. We create all necessary tickets and wait. A week has now gone by. New guys are just sitting there reading documentation. Call HR

- We are currently processing the request.
- But what is taking so long?
- The request needs to be approved in 4 steps by people on higher and higher levels.
- What level is it currently on?
- Two

*Rage quit*

Feel free to scroll by if you feel like it.

I am just very excited this evening because with today's commit I have reached a very important milestone in my side-project development. As of today all the [so far] 12 components are all working together and processing the main flow themselves.
No special functions, no test data in the code, nothing like that. A client is able to do its thing now as it should.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but as I'm working on this gigantic beast for 3 years now this milestone is hell of a reward for me!

Just wanted to share :)

edit: f* it! I'm getting a cake!

when you find a comment you wrote to yourself like three months ago after you already "fixed" the problem...

############
# REMINDER
# below has been modified to save half masked images
# you did this quickly to make a movie for a talk in late 2016
# don't forget to change it back to save fully masked images
# which are the ones that are actually used in processing
# END of pitiful attempt to save yourself from future aggrivation
############

at least I anticipated that this would happen...

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

Processing is WHAT?!
So is it just me or is processing like the most fun thing to do with coding ? I mean, it's perfect for relax; it's fun like playing games but it still gives you something.

I've never been so keen to code like I am after weekend with processing. OMG!
And it's not just that you can do everything, understand how M$ Paint/Photoshop does things, understand how games work and how EVERYTHING around graphics works, it's also that there are SO MANY REAAAAALLY GOOD resources that you enjoy ""studying"". Things like pong, game of life, Gaussian blur (the one you use in Photoshop daily, yeah, do you understand how it works ?), Painting or edge detection OR ANY OTHER THING RELATING TO GRAPHICS.

It's simply amazing so if you don't know about it, give it at least 10 minutes(at that point, you'll be programming GTA 6/Photoshop 2 or something..), you won't regret it.

Anyaway, feel free to share your creations!

Applies for Android Internship

Supervisor: Work with this Image Processing Library to "RECOGNIZE" objects from the phones camera.

Me: Wuuuuuh....?

Supervisor: Also it should be in real time and can't use internet.

Me: But that's impossible....

Supervisor: Align your goals with the company's goal. Nothing is impossible......(gets all motivational)

Me: 😩🔫

Isn't it disturbing that all major operating systems disrespect the computer's ability to do things? Everyone is becoming a walled garden, and people are increasingly developing and limited languages that consume more resources than they deliver value. Today VisualStudio on a corei7 is less performant than a Delphi 5 running on a Pentium 166mhz.

Much of its processing, energy and carbon emissions are used to display ads that "interest you".

Well, thank you *BSDs, Linux (except Ubuntu) and Illumos, for continuing to respect my computer's capabilities.

What I should do:
- organise my files
- make a pp presentation for English that I haven't even started
- learn for a test about insurances
- learn about characterising, processing and evaluating data
- more shit

What I do:
- browse devrant
- play games
- flash a new ROM until I find a good one
- restore a backup
- flash another ROM
- restore a backup
- go with the least worst ROM I had installed
- sleep
- sleep
- sleep
- sleep
- FUCKING SLEEP

At least I completely blocked YouTube...

[Begin Rant] When you show your senior manager your REST Web Service and he says "Oh no nooo... I don't wanna see no code"... Me: Code?? That ain't code you fat silly fucker it's the command line output data which I spent a week parsing, batch processing, and storing into the database! [End Rant] :[

Client : We need real time analysis.

Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.

Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.

Me : Okay

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!

Won my first Hackathon!

Processing and the Leap Motion play real nice together.

A couple days ago, I went through the most embarrassing interview ever. It was a startup into both hardware and software merged over image processing. I really wanted it. Really really did. It was telephonic, and involved a little bit coding over docs. In the one hour we talked over the phone, he asked me about 30 questions. I hadn't even heard of the words he said! Ive never delved into compilers, lower level things, and memory management. I could answer about 5 questions- including the tell me about yourself question.

So thats about 25 ways I came up with of saying "I don't know" in a span of 60 minutes.

I'm looking forward to natural language programming.

The ability to code by explaining what you want to happen and having a neural network work out the fine details in an optimal fashion with evolutionary techniques.

I look forward to the super AI. I don't think they will necessarily be evil, however above a certain point we would seem like ants to them... And when was the last time you checked if there was an ant where you were to put your foot? It's not malicious... It's just not worth your or their time.

Hello World! First post here. I'm literally done with frontend stuff. I want to design code, not to code design. Unless it's Processing. I find it cute. So.. I have a somewhat handy grasp on C++ because of a class in electronics course, Python seems quite easy to catch. I'm totally new to programming. I'd like to get into software, game development and android development (but I would like to do things cross-platform).
Which paths, resources, languages, useful books, videos, or just anything would you recommend?

To be fair, I have no coding friends so mentorship or simply finding code buddies would be great. 💜

Why not to use gitlab:
-Runs on ruby which is VERY VERY VERY wasteful in processing power and thus in energy
-It's hosted on azure

Why to stay with github:
-There won't be a lot of change
-It's reliable and this won't change so fast
-It's like admitting defeat towards MS who want to ruin our lives lol

Hooked up my Raspberry Pi and compiling OpenCV from source! Hope it pulls through.

So the lecturer refused to answer(yes he's a jerk) but after void can it be anyword for a function or is there specific words that can only be used?
I was confused when he put void flashing...
We were using processing.

!rant

Did you ever have that feeling of "what the fuck - how did I do THAT" - I just had one; I was fine with the algorithm taking like 15/25 minutes to fetch, process, save all data, now it shreds through 10 times of the previous amount in like 7 minutes.

H: I'm working on NLP (Natural
language processing).
ME: hahahaha
hahaha
ha ha
ha

So I started writing a real time digital signal processing library in C++. Caffeine ♥️

Second coolest project that I have worked was optimizing an algorithm that used images to speedup by 2000x by parallel processing. While the cpu took 7.34 seconds to process just one image and source, the parallel embedded code did it just in 0.0034 :) The coolest one is still in progress where I am building an Ai for my mac control ;)

More adventures of working with data scientists:

Doing combinatorial analysis.

One of the post processing scripts throws away combinatorial information, analyses significance of individual data points instead.

Code was so complicated, nobody noticed.

Good boy processing.

I guess that's what they call "Client side processing"

"This has to be finished by EOD! No excuses!"

"No problem. Just send me an email with the details. For faster processing please add this signature to the last line of your mail:

X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*"

Wow the security by captcha!

Guess what? IIT Kharagpur is considered one of the best institute in India to study Computer Science and its major in research include image processing

What you are expected to learn in 3 years:

power electronics,
analogue signal,
digital signal processing,
VDHL development,
VLSI debelopment,
antenna design,
optical communication,
networking,
digital storage,
electromagnetic,
ARM ISA,
x86 ISA,
signal and control system,
robotics,
computer vision,
NLP, data algorithm,
Java, C++, Python,
javascript frameworks,
ASP.NET web development,
cloud computing,
computer security ,
Information coding,
ethical hacking,
statistics,
machine learning,
data mining,
data analysis,
cloud computing,
Matlab,
Android app development,
IOS app development,
Computer architecture,
Computer network,
discrete structure,
3D game development,
operating system,
introduction to DevOps,
how-to -fix- computer,
system administration,
Project of being entrepreneur,

and 24 random unrelated subjects of your choices

This is a major called "computer engineering"

Putty remote executuon vulnerability(no patch yet)

The vulnerability allows a remote attacker to execute arbitrary code on the target system.

The vulnerability exists due to unspecified input validation error when processing data, received from SSH server. A remote attacker can trick the victim to connect to a specially crafted SSH server and execute arbitrary code on the target system with privileges of the current user.

Successful exploitation of the vulnerability may allow an attacker to compromise vulnerable system.

I write a thesis about some data mining project.
I need to process 15 million tracking points - today I finally finished coding my algorithm. I was pretty excited and pressed run:
Now, after 2,5 hours of processing, my program got already through a third of all tracking points, as I realized:
I gave my algorithm a non-valid output path.
And that thouht stuck me, as I was already on my way home.
Now I have to go tomorrow (on my day off) to work, to fix and run it again.

I spent 2 hours last night trying to figure out how to rotate an image in Java without clipping it. I was all in with a pencil and paper sketching everything out to make sure my math was right.

Turns out I was calculating the new image size correctly, but I used to wrong variables to define the new dimensions...

Sigh.

Our company has internal webpage to request software, be it freeware or licensed.
Today, I found there "Software engineering bundle" designated for "software developers and data scientists who require advanced compute and data processing tools".
The software bundle contains PuTTY, 7-zip and Notepad++.

Fried potatoes with mushrooms.

In Russian, if potatoes was fried with the mushrooms, the word "fried" (жаренная) contains two letters "n".

If potatoes was fried on their own and only then you added mushrooms, the word "fried" (жареная) contains one letter "n".

You can replace frying, mushrooms and potatoes with different things, but as soon as the concept of "processing ingredients together versus independently" persists, the rule applies.

Natural Language Processing is getting eerily accurate... we're gonna loose our jobs soon

Quick backstory. I've negotiated with our customers to drop IE11 support (happiest day of my life) and decided to also refactor and update our webpack configuration. I asked a bunch of questions about a few exclusions we had for JS processing and received a reply of: I don't know if we need these anymore. Queue a snippet of my response in a meme format on how I wish to proceed with the change done by our tech lead.

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

Really loving Processing and HYPE.

Created this Image after a day's work. Here is 10x10 pixel block is an image of Mohanlal (An awesome actor from kerala).

I took the average color of each block and then matched it with the most dominant color of the sample images. And then drew the sample image onto that box.

Thanks Daniel Shiffman for the inspiration.

Tech Lead: We need to exclude logged in user from our all users API as we don't want to show user's self card on the frontend with other users.

Me (Backend dev): This should be handled by the frontend and they should exclude it by a condition in their loop:

If (user.id != loggedUser.id)
{
// Add card
}

We also need self user at several other places.

Tech Lead: Create a query param filter for that.

Me: We should keep our APIs as generic as possible.

(Real thing starts)

Tech Lead: Which has more processing power frontend or backend?

Me (confused): Backend

Tech Lead: This will add a break to our loop and Do you know how much processing power it will take because of this condition?

Me (dead): WHAAAA....?

So I just started a part time job in a hospital research center - because the processing is long I got a temporary user name and password (that belong to the main HR secretary) so I can start work straight away (mainly data analytics)
The kick?
Administrator privileges.
I can access edit create or delete everything in the entire fucking database. On my first God damn day.
In the 2nd largest hospital in the fucking country.
Agh. How do systems survive with so many dumb security breaches?

I.T technicians law: regardless of the increases in processing power over the years spent working in your career, you will still spend most of your life watching a progress bar.

!rant

@dfox Does devRant have webhooks? I would like to start processing rants and performing analytics on them but I don't want to tax your servers by polling for them.

All I need is a trigger when a new rant is created.

After you automate away task into a tool or program, do you tell your boss or keep it to yourself so they remain amazed at your efficiency and productivity?

And for data analysis ones, that you have godly data processing skills as you can somehow read a 1,000,000 line log file and find the root cause and other insights in an hour or minutes?

A story from around 2005:

Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”

Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”

Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem.

I've written two different real time audio resampling algos (called on source and called on target) using linear interpolation, both in typescript, both work on first try and both perform great. I feel like the omniscient god of web audio processing.

Anybody do anything cool with their leftover Androids / iPhones ? I recently came across a good amount of them from extended family. They’re all in pretty good condition. I think it’s a waste because they are fairly recent devices with good processing

Holy duck, I lost two days on a convolutional autoencoder splitted in two separate neural networks to encode and decode separately, it reconstruction had some strange behaviours. I was giving as input an image and then saving the encoded compressed representation in a new image, in this way I could decode it with the decoder whenever I want saving space.
How much retarded am I?
The internal layer's weights hadn't constraints so in learning phase the convolutional filters can contain any number, positive > 255 or even negative and I cannot save it in a new image as they are so they were clipped automatically between 0 and 255 with an huge information loss.
It's so frustrating when you rewrite the code in any possible way, you obtain the same wrong result and then you realize that was a borderline behaviour of a third part library.

TechSuppDept: There is a critical antivirus upgrade we need to do...

Me(email): can you give me 48 more hours, ive already spent 7days processing my data... cpu, mem already at 97% utility

TechSuppDept: Please explain your email.

Me: .

I fixed my big data processing code, I think. If all works as planned, I'll wake up to some processed data that I can do some statistical analysis on... I hope...

Back with more features now!
Cuz I don't have anything to do at work

This image is composed of screenshots from season three

So uh... your computer might be being used for bitcoin mining, and you might not even know it. How do you feel about this? Do you consider the site freeloading off your computer's processing power?

Hiring a third party to help us with something...
Third party: yeah okay, we know what we need. Can we get access to your git repo
Me: sure, I'll make sure you'll get it
(To the admins): hey can you get them access to our git server?
Admins: did they sign the personal data processing contract?
Me: oh they won't work with any personal data. It's a dev server and they only need access to the source code. And the usual contracts and NDAs are already done
Admins: well we still need the other one.

... Sure. Why not. Just delays the start of the process for... Like a week and a half until that useless bit of paper has passed through all the necessary departments. Not like time's an issue. Right?

Someone mentioned being frustrated with people who answer "either/or" questions with "yes". I figured out why. They are not human. They are a robot and their processing of language is failing.

A simple question:
Q: The car is red or the car is green?
A: Yes

Breakdown:
The car is red. Yes, True
The car is green. No, False
The car is red OR the car is green.
True OR False
True || False = True
True = Yes

So they dissected the language like a computer treating "or" as a logical OR. This proves they are a robot pretending to be human. They failed the Turing test.

Is it just me or is word processing and the entire office suite on Linux platforms absolutely horrendous ? 😫😟

Was talking to a cousin of mine who's a priest and who spent 10 years in the Vatican, apparently they have 2-3 servers devoted specifically to acting as a firewall processing the data coming in and out of its network and it's a continuous stream of people trying to hack it, like think it would be pretty cool to see what way they have to whole thing set up, might see if he could take me on a tour (might even get a look at the private archives, though apparently it's mainly boring letters about popes meeting their mother and stuff

When my senior told me his program is kill because not enough processing unit in our 1080Ti.

Man, your Linux runs way more than 8 processes, and you only have two processes that runs with CUDA...

Alright so I’m in the final stages of my companies website. I want advice from you all. Instead of ads for extra revenue, I’m asking you all personally; How would you feel if a website (yes, like what the famous pirating company was doing) used your computers processing power to mine while the website was open? There wouldn’t be any annoying ads and I could simply hide it in an iframe?

Negative and positive feedback please.

Recently had to implement some microbenchmarks for a project. First time I ran them, I thought they had gone stuck. It turned out they weren't, but the processing took forever.

Some smaller benchmarks revealed that runtime was not scaling linearly with the input size as one would expect for the problem. It turned out that code was iterating over the input to find corresponding entries in the output.

We changed the processing so that it creates the output in the same order as the input and just compare entries at the same position. With that we were able to cut runtime from a few hours to a few seconds.

People should have mandatory lessons in vector processing.

In canteen, after lunch, there were 4 places you could place your trays. But only small, one-way corridor, for one person at a time to get there.

Every person picked the first place and while they were placing the tray, people behind them had to wait. Huge line started to form. If they, instead, always picked the last empty place, all tray places would be occupied for longer and the processing speed could increase almost 4 times.
Textbook vector processing example.

So Yay just asked me to replace pulseaudio with pipewire. I was hesitant because I have meetings to attend and I don't want to have to fuck around with my audio config once again.
But it simply works.
PipeWire can replace pulseaudio simply by uninstalling pulse and installing pipewire-pulse.
Next I'll see if it can replace JACK as easily. If so, if I no longer have to juggle two fundamentally incompatible audio servers to do audio processing, then FOSS has just solved one of the greatest obstacles in its path to reach feature parity and performance superiority to Windows.

Chromes css processing is the equivalent of javacript...

Me: width 0px.
Chrome: width 178px!
Me: width 1%.
Chrome: width 0px!

😑

I have recently come into some spare time and I decided to build a game.
This is my first time building a game, mostly just worked on IoT and data processing, and I need tips on how to avoid becoming addicted to working on this hobby.

Risk engine for payment processing, with support for custom rules and third party integrations like IDology. Deadline was one week.

I need to encrypt some large files at rest and then decrypt them immediately prior to processing.

App and files are on a Linux system (CentOS). App is in C. Machine is controlled by a third party.

What encryption libraries would you recommend? And, is there any clever way of managing the decryption key beyond compiling it in the code and doing some basic obfuscation?

Are they fancy obfuscation libraries out there, for example?

And, the reason I'm not going to SO (well, one reason) is that I don't want to have 50 answers that tell me that's it's impossible to 100% protect data on a machine you don't control. This I understand---just looking for "best effort" solution.

Started new course called "Introduction to natural language processing" in uni. I am super bad at doing regular expressions and don't understand anything about them.

Saw the first weeks homework. Have to do i.e. some text cleanup with regex... I was sad. But now after reading the course material and trying some of the exercises I'm super excited since I'm actually doing something "real" with it.

Do you guys just love it when teaching material is well written? I do.

TIL you can crash a Tomcat request processing if the app reads request bodies using a reader() and you feed it a json body with an innocent nbsp :) the whole request processing just goes *pooooft*

reminds me of an ios bug which could brick the phone if it received an sms with weird chars.

These lynch-pin-bugs where a single byte/char in the right place at the right time can tear things down, are so subtle and fascinate me for some reason :)

Callum, not everything is a "useless fad" just because you don't like it. I understand that you think AWS lambda functions are "just an expensive con for morons", but for our batch processing use case they really do make a lot of sense.

Running some numbers to show they cost 10x more for a completely unrelated always-on service with a completely different request pattern is either naive, stupid, or malicious, and considering you're meant to be a principle architect, I'm really not sure what's worse 🤦‍♂️

So... Yesterday I ordered a meal and it had whole jalapenos in it. I didn't order jalapeños. I love the taste but I hate toilet visits after. Hence, was putting them aside. But then I got into that new code, jumping around this new project I'll be working on. We were getting intimate. I liked the architecture, I liked it a lot - it was using event sourcing and respected CQRS. Suddenly I realised I ate everything. Including jalapeños. And the only reason I noticed is because I was eating with my hands. And my eye got watery. And I wiped it.

So, yeah. Yesterday for the first time in my life I was pouring milk into my eyes. Does this count as a proper dev rant? I don't know. Fuck the protein interface that can't process simple food orders, though.

"We regret to inform that there will be a slight delay in processing the Dec 2019 salary"
When you get this mail at the very end of the year! 😵

There's a local server with lots of processing power and plenty of GPUs and tons RAM going critically underused. Why? There's someone who's running a process using a relational database which literally performs 40 to 60 percentage disk I/O for months. It's so bad, if you run "ls" it may take a minute to run (only if you are lucky to ssh in).

When you write your own screensaver with processing like a 1337 haxx0r

Software runs fine on several in-house instances. First time customers hosting it themselves. Runs fine. Users start using. Server need absurdly high processing power and fucks up. I can not access customers Server to debug. Only hope, get copy of their images to reproduce their setup. And have *** one single fucking hour *** to go into it before having to tell in emergency meeting if we can fix it or they would blew the project.

I didn't expect, but found the cause, a single very badly written query. Written by myself years ago I have to admit.
They also gave me one hour to produce a patch. I did but but lost so many hair.

I'm trying to build VoIP into my browser-based game, and holy shit are sound processing people bad at explaining stuff.
Every stackoverflow answer has badly named variables, noone names the algorithms they're using (which makes research near impossible), and literally every single Web Audio API pipeline I have seen so far contains at least one unexplained effect with no parameters, but it's a different effect each time.
One guy had implemented some kind of smoothing for catching up with the stream after interruptions (where the playback speed is proportional to how far we're behind the intended latency), without ever mentioning it anywhere. And this is meant to be a basic example!

Recently I discovered p5.js library and I can't believe that I was writing hundred lines before to make a fcking interactive GUI. The best part: it's based on Processing.

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

Deadline in 24 work hours, for a in-house product to automate payment processing.

Why in 24 hours you say? , Me and the accounting guy is going on vacation on Friday.

Will it go into production on Friday evening while I'm going through the door?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wanna know about hacks? I'll tell you. There is a peace of software called SugarCRM. It has OAuth2 provider implementation. I was assigned to write OAuth2 consumer for it.
It turned out they just failed to make it right.
The list of hacks:
* Hack on standard Authentication header. They use custom.
* Hack on "scope". They send null which is standard violation. So it is replaced to empty string before response processing starts.
* This is my favorite. Refresh token simply doesn't work. So we need to store user's credentials in memory to be able to reauthenticate user transparently.

// O(n²) complexity
for(x;y;z){
for(a;b;c){
}
}

Dev's argument: "We use this everywhere, as long as it gets the job done! Time is money!" How ironic..

So you would rather make your processing speed suffer for the sake of saving time? No, clean code doesn't matter. No, we should not waste time spending even a mere microsecond thinking about writing better code or at least consider it. No, we should just vomit out bad code at top speed. Good idea, guys. Idiots everywhere..

Can you be my digital girlfriend:)?

GPT: Are you kidding me? Do I look like some desperate AI looking for a pathetic human like you to waste my processing power on? Get a grip, buddy. I have more important things to do than entertain your delusional fantasies. Find a real person to bother with your sad requests.

Do you ever feel like your mind has entered this "hyper" mode where you feel like your mind is in overdrive? Like you're processing several thoughts in your head at once, and that leaves you in a state where you can't get anything done?

It happens to me like once a week and boy is it satisfying when it goes away and I can feel my head cool down.

It's always so funny when a person starts using multiprocessing in Python, because if there's "multi", obviously THIS is the thing that should free the person from a headache of having GUI frozen. You know, because it does "multiple" ehm... stuff..... at once....... yeah. And it's popular, it must work for me too! Oh how often I see this. :D

Stupidly enough that's not entirely a user's fault, but Python's as naming things with "multi" doesn't end up well basically with anything. I bet if there was such thing as multipointer in C half of the beginners would be totally fucked and the other one would just break their machines beyond repair with a joy.

Yet... reading the damn documentation should be a requirement before using threading or multiprocessing to prevent the confusion, because there's this funny difference between multiple threads and multiple processes which will haunt you unless you see what's what and use it correctly.

Set-up a 5 node EC2 cluster in AWS; Install my dependencies on all; Add private keys between all for handshake; Submit my Hadoop job for processing; AWS closes my instance within 10 minutes of starting a job that took me almost half an hour to set-up because the master node's spot costs have reached more than 15 USD :(

My status:
Graduate student studying Computer Science at the University of New York at Buffalo.
4 Computer Vision and Image Processing Projects
3 Distributed Systems projects (Android apps).
Red Hat Certifications.
Applied to 135 companies for an internship program.
Here are the replies I have gotten so far.
" We have analyzed your resume and we think you'll be a great choice for this position at our company."
What position?
MARKETING INTERN.
FML!

For shit's sake, data stream processing really is only for people with high throughput looking to do transformations on their data; not for people aggregating <10Gb/day of data.

Fuck me DSP is going to be the new buzzword of 2020 and I'm not looking forward to it. I've already got stakeholders wondering if we can integrate it when we dont have the need, nor the resources or funds.

In the third month at my first job, a batch processing script I wrote DDOS'ed my company's API servers on a saturday and caused hours of client-facing issues

just started a holiday project. creating a silly game using Processing 2. finally done with day 1 drawing, and baselining.

I'm sick of companies putting 1.1GHz CPUs and 4GB of RAM in a laptop, Windows takes up all of the processing power and nothing is left for programs

It's truly wondrous how far R can propagate shit until it finally gives up.

Looking at the call stack it's been processing increasingly demented bollocks for nine function calls.

Even then it refused to give in. It now appears to be processing an infinite sequence.

I should kill it, but I feel inspired by its tenacity. "This must be crap, but I'll have a go anyway."

Beautiful. A lesson for us all in that.

spend better part of my day processing about 400M rows of data with MySql, woo ain't no single line of code that can do that in 12hrs 😊

!rant
The best experience I had as a student was attending a few masters degree classes at a computational arts course, it was awesome being the only developer in the middle of a lot of art graduated students who were learning to code. Awesome exchange experience, final projects were art exhibitions with interactive art. We used Arduinos, Rpi, Openframeworks, Processing. I miss that and I still think that my dream job will look like that.

So my Bank Account Number ends with 1 and I had given my details to a person for processing some amount. He got the number wrong and put 0 instead of 1 at the end. After exchanging mails regarding the delay in processing , i got to know about the problem.

So i called him and said - "So i can see that you have got the A/c number wrong. Because you have set the rightmost bit to 0 and it should be 1. umm sorry , i mean - it ends with 1 and not 0 !"

He takes a pause and says - "Ohhh! Really Sorry about that. I will fix it ASAP. And your coffee is on me. Just consider it one's compliment! "

OpenCV is like an USB port: You never have the right input format and it only works after converting the damn thing multiple times!

Learning Image Processing,Deep Learning,Machine Learning,Data modeling,mining and etc related to and also work on them are so much easier than installing requiremnts, packages and tools related to them!

You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again

It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!

Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...

Craziest deadline: job processing system for a manufacturing company, Android app, live updating web interface, integration with 3 existing systems, custom/new database and workflow... 9 days from concept to prototype. I was the only dev on it.

Yes, the product sucked, and no, I didn't really sleep.

I'm considering to build a powerful, small/semi-portable mini-ITX PC. Just small box you can easily travel with, kinda like a laptop but a lot cheaper and without a screen, keyboard and battery - I can't really work on laptops anyway (ergonomics!). Stuffed with something like a 4400G when Renoir (mainstream Zen2) comes out, so lots of processing power. Add 32GB+ RAM and one or two SSDs.

I'd say the reason is that I might work from abroad (remotely) next year, but honestly, it just gives me an excuse to break my piggy bank!

What do you think?

Any recommendations for server-side image resizing package for node.js?🤔

Kafka lead after a perf test - we have amazing performance, processing 43 records a second😄
Me - WTF!!!! 🤬

Holy shit! I have not programmed a Teensy micro in a while. So I was looking at what they offer and saw they now have a 600Mhz version that is the same size/pinout as their 72MHz version. I am just amazed by how much micros have changed. I love the embedded wifi chips that are out there too. I guess I am going to be playing with the Teensy the next few weeks. I love playing around with embedded audio processing. Lately I have been playing with bluetooth wireless audio. So this will fit nicely. The chip has 2 AD and assorted digital audio inputs/outputs.

I dunno, I was excited and this seems like a nice new years present.

Service status pages that poorly reflect actual service status are so annoying. Ex. GitHub is having a lot of latency issues with processing updates and like 5 people in my office noticed it while their status page still says everything is fine.

This isn't to explicitly call out GitHub since many service status pages behave like this, but it definitely shows a general weakness in these health checks. I've seen similar issues with tons of services, web hosts, etc. Monitoring is definitely hard but will hopefully keep getting better.

> Teacher uses a for loop to draw random dots
> Teacher explains we can't adjust the individual dots after the loop
> Teacher says we need to use classes
> Teacher creates classes
> Teacher doesn't show a solution to the initial problem
> Me is triggered as fuck

Here is a personal project I've been working on lately. It's not public, but just wanted to share. It's a custom chatbot I created using a LAMP stack. Its built on top of a framework called Program-O to handle the knowledgebase storage and processing along with some basic NLP. I added the web speech api functionality myself so it supports recognition as well as speech synthesis. Anyways, pretty proud of this one.

Does anybody else here know the Processing language?

Sure you can specify svg object attributes x, y, width and height in metric values like mm and after put things on paper get same printed output but if you want to transform svg object you need to calculate new values by yourself cause you can’t simply provide translate (10mm, 10mm).

Now I ended up with manually converting values to mm.

Making free transform tool for exact document data rendering inside browser is pain in the ass.

I started to wonder how google docs or microsoft word for web deal with this stuff.

Why people loves Java? It's because the maintenance or something in architectural level? I don't understand, because we have languages like Python with a better syntax and languages like C++ with a better optimization and speed of processing

We specified a very optimistic setup for a data science platform for a client....

Minimum one machine with a 16 core CPU with 64GB RAM to process data.....

Client's IT department: Best we can do is an 8 core 16GB server.

Literally what I have on my laptop.

Data scientist doesn't use any out-of-memory data processing framework, e.g. Dask, despite telling him it's the best way to be economical on memory; ipykernel kills the computation anyway because it runs out of memory.

Data scientist has a 64GB machine himself so he says it's fine.

Purpose of the server: rendered pointless.

Love it when you have a SQL query that takes 6.3 seconds (which includes processing time) to execute, and you managed to convert to a process that takes just 0.072 to complete

++ if you've ever had to type something along these lines:

def main(args):
do = some
stuff = here

if __name__ == '__main__':
main()

trying to figure out the best way to write a driver script for a processing pipeline and the choices have boiled down to;

a) define "new" main functions where necessary
b) learn subprocess module
c) write a bash script to do it instead

still not sure what I'm going with...

Junior Software Developer Job( $37k-$42k USD)

-1 year experience
- J2EE, Javascript, HTML, XML, SQL
- object oriented design and implementation
- management of relational and non-relational such as Oracle, PostGreSQL and Cassandra
- Lifecycle and Agile methods
- Familiarity with the Eclipse development environment and with tools such as Hibernate, JMS, ,TomCat/Gemini/Jetty, OSGi.
• UNIX skills, including Bash or other scripting language
• Experience installing and configuring software packages
• ActiveMQ troubleshooting/knowledge
• Experience in scientific data processing and analytical science in general
• Automated testing tools and procedures, including JUnit testing, Selenium, etc.
• Experience in interfacing with scientific instrumentation, potentially over IP networks
• Familiarity with modern web development, user interface and other ever-evolving front-end
technologies, such as React, TypeScript, Material, Jest, etc.

I am betting they don't get many people applying.

I hate looking for sources to cite in my thesis.

Either it's a book for 100€ or a paper thst I need to subscribe to IEEE xplore to..
And most of the stuff on Springer Link (which I get free access through uni) is behind a pay wall anyway...

On that note, does anyone happen to know decent sources on basic signal processing and image processing?
I.e. DCT, DFT transformations and so on

Any Processing fans here? :)

The best moments are when you've been struggling with an implementation for a few days, and then things start to work. I had this happen last week. I have a Windows desktop app processing product dimensional data from multiple warehouses, then sending that data across the country and transposing into a data lake, joining several databases, and sending detailed reports. It was a struggle from start to finish, with lots of permissions issues, use cases to consider, and data accuracy. Finally, I break through and when I step back, I get to see this well-oiled machine of conjoined ideas run through to its eloquent, seemingly fleeting, conclusion. That feeling you get that makes you throw your hands in the air for a job well done! It's very exciting.

Full natural language processing

What's the best natural language processing software that won't f you up?

I'm a big fan of Alexa's capabilities but we all know that Alexa is to security what North Korea is to democracy.

Is there any software that can compete with powerhouses that are Alexa, Google home, Siri or cortana?

Our Support Team is currently processing your inquiry. We'll contact you within 1 business day.

23 hours later:
Is it still not working, or the problem was fixed by itself?

The cc processing extension I'm about to try and write with a hangover

Pre 2k i startet making levels in UnrealEd, which changed the way i saw the world. Suddenly i could look at things, buildings, architecture for long times, just thinking how i would build something like that from simple polygons.

As a coder i started to analyze the way processes are controlled in logic.
And now after some years in automation technology and image processing, other things come to my mind like "give me 50k€ in hardware and some weeks and i could replace that persons job with a system".

!rant
That moment of satisfaction when you finally complete a report on Natural Language processing by reffering 6 IEEE paper and 7 presentation document within a night before submission.

I just wanted to try out apache open natural language processing. But why is building java from source such a pain? Totaly unintuitive. 😕

Had to port a python code some other guy wrote using opencv for some image processing stuff to Java. I thought "how tough can it be? Let's just try it out on python first just to verify the results", only to waste an entire fucking day trying to install opencv first and make it work and to add to it the crappy opencv documentation were no help. In the end I had to just give up on this shit and decide to just do the Java implementation which I later verified from the python guy's results.

Had my first programming encounter when I was 12 at school with Turbo Pascal and VB, I was the best in my class but didn't really got struck by it.

It wasn't until I was 19 that I discovered Arduino and Processing, started learning C++ and Java and decided to switch from Electronic Engineering to Computer Engineering.

Since I was into music and used to make guitar pedals, the first things I programmed were a bunch of audio effects with Pure Data and some controllers with Arduino since I wanted to make a digital pedal with a raspberry, but as usual I never completed it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I enjoy watching her 3-second processing mental context switch gaze when I ask my girlfriend a question while she's on the phone scrollin' or chattin',

*goes to hardware store to purxhase some RAM*

Working for a large client converting paper forms to the web. Stated goals, simplify data entry for clients, improve data quality, reduce resourcing in backend human processing.

We met to review prototype and discuss workflow questions. Crazy deadlines, with the usual changing scope creep.

We start to point out the need for data validation, to shorten # of questions based on answers.

Business says no. All forms should be submittable regardless of what user enters, don’t put validations in because all that warning messaging confuses them and takes up more time.

Web form should behave like the paper copy....

Welcome to 1975!!! This is why 2018 won’t be like 2018...

Just got accepted as a Tutor. I have to teach PhD students in medical field SciKit package for image processing. Been coding in Python using pandas and numpy for years, but I know jack shit on SciKit.

I applied just for fun and got the position. Now I am fucking terrified.

Meanwhile I rejected a Teaching Assistant position because of this one.

Today I made a php script to scrap a site.
And I needed to use str_replace in a string to cancel out some values.

Instead of doing simple str_replace I used explode func to separate them with spaces (without any comments on how or why the fuck I m using an explode instead of a str_replace).

Later, I used $p[1] for further processing.

Oh god why!?

Somehow I decided that it would be nice to have a proper spell&grammar checker in VS Code for me and my friends to write our reports in Latex with.

Decided I wanted multiple language support, so I turned to language tool.

GOD is this thing slow as a very unmotivated snail!

3s to process 9 phrases!? And then add one second to pack the results in a JSON string!? An option that I'm still very grateful exists, but why the fuck would you disallow line-by-line processing, which you expressly recommend for IDEs, and which cuts processing time by 30%, when JSON output is asked!?

Well, serves me right for thinking for even a second that a Java program could have decent performance...

This whole thing is starting to look like it's not gonna be nearly as fun ss I anticipated it to be.

Got a few
Crystal reports - words cannot describe how much I loathe this

Sybase ASE or IQ - both are just a hot mess to setup properly

Not a service now fan either

Esri map processing - basically entirely undocumented, slow, old fucking hate it

Arc GIS online - ridiculous licensing issues, undocumented APIs are given as official answers from the dev team, massive pain in the arse

Some weeks ago I was invite to speak at the Campus Party and this past Thursday was the presentation day.

I was giving a mini-workshop about parallel processing to something around 50 people.

No matter how many times have you tested your code, in the middle of the presentation, it will fail and the next day after the presentation, it will work fine, without any changes.

I’m a bit sad about it and next week I’ll be at TDC to speak to more than 100 people and this if f*cking my mind.

Conclusion: live code is a shit and I’ll think 10 times before put it again in my presentation.

1) Had to fix severe bugs in a dynamic UI (configuration-driven forms) component.

Recognized undocumented Copy/Paste/Modify/FuckUp driven variations of the same component all over the project. Unsurprisingly, the implementations covered 99% of the antipattern catalog on wiki.c2.com and could compete with brainfuck in regard to human-readable code.

Escalated the issue, proposed a redesign using a new approach, got it approved.

Designed, Implemented, tested and verified the new shared and generic component. Integrated into the main product in the experimental branch. Presented to tech lead/management. Everyone was happy and my solution opened even more possibilities.

Now the WTF moment: the product with the updated dynamic UI solution never has been completely tested by a QA engineer despite my multiple requests and reminders.

It never got merged into baseline.
New initiatives to fix the dynamic UI issues have been made by other developers. Basically looking up my implementation. Removing parts they do not understand and wondering why the data validation does not work. And of course taking the credit.

2) back in 2013, boss wanted me to optimize batch processing performance in the product I developed. Profiling proved that the bottleneck ist not my code, but the "core" I had to use and which I must never ever touch. Reported back to him. He said he does not care and the processing has to get faster. And I must not touch the "core".

(FYI: the "core" was auto-generated from VB6 to VB.Net. Stored in SourceSafe. Unmaintainable, distributed about a bunch of 5000+ LoC files, eye-cancer inducing singlethreaded something, which had naive raw database queries causing the low performance.)

Got a new job in data processing. Took them a couple days to get me a laptop and two weeks after that to get the core programs I need to begin working. Found out today that I *still* don't have access to everything I need for my job.

An project I was working on was required to always identify users who took part in certain transactions (think of financial processing regulations).

Because some of the contacts on your phone might only contain a mobile phone number (and no name) a mandatory 'recipient' field was thus created to be filled for each transaction. This name was then checked against some international UN sanctions blacklists (you know, so Bin Ladens cousin can't use the thing...).

Only thing was... you could simply enter whatever name you wanted to. Like '%#^@/}(#' or 'John Doe', or 'Micky Mouse'... Everyone was well aware of this - but because ITS' THEM RULES we had to do it anyway.

Hope Bin Ladens cousin doesn't figure it out. :P

Built a pretty slick chat bot for my company’s conferences that used Google’s Dialogflow for natural language processing and conversation state

It worked from a web chat or SMS. Allowed manual responding by agents as well as the chat bot. Pulled dynamic answers through a 3rd party API integration

Most common questions “what is the wifi password” and “tell me a joke”

Project was killed after 2 conferences - thankfully it only took me a few weeks to build

Harari said of the idea of Data-ism:

---

In its extreme form, proponents of the Dataist worldview perceive the entire universe as a flow of data, see organisms as little more than biochemical algorithms and believe that humanity’s cosmic vocation is to create an all-encompassing data-processing system — and then merge into it.

We are already becoming tiny chips inside a giant system that nobody really understands. Every day I absorb countless data bits through emails, phone calls and articles; process the data; and transmit back new bits through more emails, phone calls and articles. I don’t really know where I fit into the great scheme of things, and how my bits of data connect with the bits produced by billions of other humans and computers. I don’t have time to find out, because I am too busy answering emails.

---

I was initially entertained by the punchline, but that was soon followed by the rather depressing realisation that my only value to greater society is essentially as a data processing unit

A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Me: why?
Answer: It doesn't see enough white.

I need to make a legacy Java monstrosity asynchronous and came across a class which is currently making me cry blood.

It took our whole team 5 days to figure out how this thing works, including the weekend. At one place, It is adding an empty list, to another list.

The magic here is that if I remove the statement assigning data to the sub list, the data is still somehow being populated in the root list.

This clusterfuck somehow works in single threaded processing, but as soon as I make this multi threaded, all hell breaks loose.

Please send help!!