Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Variables vs Deadline
Wk1 : int Store_Account_Balance ;
Wk3: int StoreAccountBalance ;
Wk5: int StoreBalance ;
Wk7: int storebalance ;
Wk9: int balance ;
Wk11: int bal ;
Wk 13: int b;2 -
"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."
- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."
- "So... I have to test on stage?"
- "It doesn't work on stage either."
- "Uh, on prod?"
*office laughs*
We're doing it live folks.2 -
my boss went on vacation 1 day before the deadline. Then disaster came in. So we emailed him, and he replied.
"Good luck"9 -
Craziest deadline I've ever had...
Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners
...timeframe...do it today!
Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.6 -
Well let's do this group rant thing.
I had to build 5 responsive Web applications in 3 weeks. Again Web applications, not websites. I slept a total of 2 hours per night in my car, and would go home every 3 days to shower.
I quit soon after.5 -
There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.10 -
So while I was reading the weekly rant from wk1, I found this bug.
// I am prroud of how productive I am 😐
8 -
Wk1:, Client wants stack deployed to AWS in a day... Does it in 30 minutes...
Wk2: client complains about cost of service so requests I downsize the stack they asked for... Does so... Just to save some £££ at loss of any DR or HA capability
Wk3: Client wants stack moved to a different AWS account just cos... Advised could cause issues... Client says carry on. Migrates to account as requested on the days they requested.
Wk4: client complains that said migration caused issues and that proper change control wasn't followed..... That was never informed on..
Wk5: issue discovered to actually be network fault linked to clients wanting every £££ saved in AWS... And as the stack specialist I still have to write up a summary and findings?
Wow just get a decent AWS admin will ya....3 -
So my boss thinks that it takes maximum of two days to create a website in WordPress.
I agree with that, but what about the million requirements of the client and you about the theme? and custom dashboards?
PS: Only one developer will work on one website!6 -
Got offered a project to develop e-commerce site. Bespoke. E-commerce. Sage pay. CMS. 4 days. When I said it's basically impossible, got told that the company was offered the same solution by an Indian developer but in 2 days, so it shouldn't be a problem to do it in 4.6
-
At my previous employer my boss asked me how long a project would take. Told him about a week maybe two. He then informed me it was due that day. Apparently the client gave it to him months ago. I worked a 35 hour weekend to make it happen. Then he complained that my weekly time sheet was higher than normal. He didn't think it was accurate and underpaid me. So glad I got out of agency work.6
-
The craziest deadline I have had was to build an e-commerce site with php in 3 days after learning php for just a week.
<rant> am I oz or Harry Potter?</rant>1 -
Actually just got a bit of a project request with a 7 day deadline.
OK, great, but I'm on vacation for 5 of those days. -
When my professor wanted us to make a GUI for a Pig Latin Translator on the first day of Intro to Java and it was due that night. Like I just learned what System.out.println(); does, how do you expect me to do that?3
-
My current workspace. Nothing fancy but it does the job. Tools: Windows 10, Emacs, Visual Studio 2015, git, bash.
2 -
Developer who was working on a project for 7 weeks was fired and to spite the company he deletes all his source code for the project. As the only other dev, I was placed with the wonderful task to complete an 8 week program in 8 days.8
-
At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1 -
My professor gave us an individual and group project at the same time. And each sub part of each project was due with 3 days in between3
-
i've been here 7 months and the only thing i learned so far is how be in a better position to win politically.
-
"So the client just asked when we will have [feature] ready for testing."
*Confused looks*
Turns out the project/account *forgot* to tell us about a major feature that the client wanted. I should get paid extras for miracles.1 -
The craziest deadline I've ever had is DEFINITELY to learn Android programming AD WELL AS iOS programming to make an app for a startup i currently still work with, and the time limit i had was a week. This week included learning both languages, and creating the 3 screens they had ready for me. I somehow managed to finish it!
Toughest week EVER, so far.
Thanks a lot, bosses -_-11 -
When you're asked to edit some code you've never written... Feels like Alice in Wonderland... completely lost...
-
I told my boss the project would take one month, he went to tell the stakeholders it would take one week and I didn't know. Three days to the end of the one week, I meet one stakeholder and he asks, have you started testing? 😭😭 #wk1
-
sales: we will need a sponsored blog for client XY, can you start working on it?
me: I am really busy I can't do it as soon as next wednesday.
sales: but I promised it will be ready for this tuesday (yes, two days ago)
me: do you have any specification?
sales: what is a specification?
---- Happy Birthday for me ----1 -
At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.1 -
Building a production-ready app from scratch during a two-week visit to the overseas client. Built it in one only to hear "you make things look too easy". The app never saw the light of day.2
-
Pm: Hey we need you to add this feature to client ABC and we need it in 3 weeks.
Me: Ok. Just so I know how long have you know about this?
Pm: Oo about 3 weeks ago.
Me(outside): Ok 😐😐😐
Me(inside): Really you could give me some information about this 3 weeks ago. Even 2 weeks ago would have been find. AHHHHHHHHHHH!😡😡😡😤.2 -
Having a possible new client come in our office and they wanted to see our system. I ask the sales guy what he thin kthey wanted to see.
Day before:
Sales: They do a lot of projects, so if we could show them our rollout system that would be great.
Me: We don't have one....
Needless to say I was up all night and it still turned out as an amazing feature that we use to this day.2 -
me: I'll start making the site today. To make sure the project is up and go by the deadline, I need you to send some missing content. Please find attached a spreadsheet (with perfectly tought cella :) ) abot the missing content.
-- weeks go by, several mailing and phoning. site is ready. content zero --
client: why is the site not public yet?! you promised a deadline! I'm nőt paying, if it is not ready by tomorrow.
me: ok just send the content I requested.
-- 2days pass. no content --
client: thats it. i'm not payin'. here is the content ( much mire than designed ) upload it and we are done here!!!4 -
The best code review experience I had is when I started with my first job I used to write 10 lines of code and used to get 20 comments on that, well i learnt a lot from him and now whenever i get review comments on my PR i actually feel good.1
-
When you miss a couple of days of work and get back to find out management has decided to do a complete redesign of the redesign you just redesigned! What the flying fuck!
FMDL -
My department vp announced to our sales team that our company would have an online Web based catalog capable of custom style configuration, pricing calculation, quote generation. the catalog would manage all of our customers different discount rates automatically and notify the correct sales rep any time a customer completes a quote. This was announced on September 30(ish) with a launch date of December 1. I'm the only Web developer and I found out afer the announcement. :/2
-
When it took 6 months to design and develop a trade show application in ASP.NET MVC 4, and suddenly - "Make the tablet-optimized version by next week". Wat??
-
I once had 3 days to make a program that listened on the activity from SMTP servers in a language I've never worked with before and a site presenting the statistics collected from those servers. It was a part time job, 15 hours a week.1
-
Me: "when do you need this for?"
Them: "yesterday!hahahahahahhah"
Me: " :| Never heard that one before"1 -
so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss
-
Live deployment next week Monday but Product Owner really need this new fix in.
Can you code, push to test, test it, push to acceptance test, UAT it before Friday...
It's Wednesday today 😐
Project manager says ok 😱1 -
With 182 compile errors management wants the new build out by Monday morning but neglect to say this until end of day Saturday. They also knew for a week or better that they were going to enforce the deadline on each team.
-
So my Database professor decided that we should design a database with like 4 tables and hundreds of records and we had to write like 100 queries to produce a specific output from the tables we designed. All in less than a week. This is the first time I'm learning about databases, mind you.5
-
Craziest deadline: job processing system for a manufacturing company, Android app, live updating web interface, integration with 3 existing systems, custom/new database and workflow... 9 days from concept to prototype. I was the only dev on it.
Yes, the product sucked, and no, I didn't really sleep. -
Crazy deadlines> Director: "You need to design a new architecture that has failover, multi-AZ, automated deployments, CI/CD pipeline, automated builds/tests as well, for our new SaaS product. You have 3 days to complete it"
Me: "Ok cool. Do we have the new product developed? Can I have the spec docs of the new software, libs and packages required for the env?"
Product Lead: "No we dont have anything yet. The POC is on my local PC, but I dont know what packages are needed to run it"
Me: "So I cant design anything unless I have the minimum requirements to run the new software"
Director: "Just get it up and running in a live environment and we'll take it from there"
Me: *sigh*..this is going to be a big mistake -
On the current project, the deadline was determined independently. Then, development was told we needed the full project done by that deadline with no consideration for actual development time.2
-
2 weeks to transfer a system we'd spent 2 years developing to a team with different stack experience who are based in a different office.
We're counting the days until the service is dropped. -
full drupal site build in 24 hours.
6 hours design
6 hours infrastructure
12 hours build (including custom modules) -
sport event bookingapp for android, ios and blackberry. 3 weeks. we finished. client wasnt happy with the colors and sued us and we won. I left the company because of that bs deadlines.2
-
In my class, we had just finished learning php and our final project involved using everything we learned... it was due in just 3 days... we only saw php for 2 days...
-
to present an TPS ASP.NET site with target features/objectives for our finals in prog subj
working time: 1 night
and i tell you right now, it's the most shittiest site (front end && back end) i have ever done, and i'm never going back. 1/4 only of our class actually accomplished the target features.
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View