Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.
Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.
Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.
“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.9 -
There are two kinds of people:
those who write
if foo.isBar() {
foo.setBar(false)
}
else {
foo.setBar(true)
}
Vs
those who write
foo.setBar(!foo.isBar())
Only good programmers will understand😢😊31 -
Normal people talking:
Alice: Are you on Facebook?
Bob: No.
Alice: OMG!!! YOU'RE NOT ON FACEBOOK!? Do you live under a rock?
Programmers talking:
<Replace all instances of Facebook with github>9 -
Me : it's my new android app, this app lets you store daily routines and is very fast.
Dad : where's the money?
Friends : so now you will get a job at Google 😱
Girlfriend : install this on my iPhone
Mom : You are genius. Now get the groceries I asked you for.1 -
A good programmer can get more done than 10 bad programmers, but a bad programmer's code can keep 10 good programmers busy for years.
~ Ed Weissman8 -
A guy asked me today after we were having a chat about bad programmers at his work place:
Guy: "What do bad programmers move to after they constantly mess up and get stuck on tasks?"
Me: "Management!"2 -
Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?
The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.10 -
I was a little startled when I saw posts with images of google searches with "programmers are..."
So I tried it for myself.. nothing to worry about
11 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11 -
Sex talk between programmers.
She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.6 -
The 256th day of every year is celebrated as Programmers’ Day.
Interestingly, 256 is the highest power of two that is less than 365.
It falls on September 13 during common years and September 12 in leap years.
This day is an international professional day recognized in many companies and organizations.
It’s even officially recognized in Russia as the “Day of the Programmer.”
3 -
People say programmers are no fun!! But they don't know the truth.
We have big Ass container of emotions almost ready to explode anytime. We are spending too much time in debugging stuff one after another that having a free time is just a hoax to us, even when we came back home for sleep, it's only to dream about solution. We would be happy with debugging the error that is not letting us sleep for weeks.4 -
Just found out out what people google about programmers...
the last one made my day. I think it was this feeling called "funny" haha
3 -
Normal programmers cheer up when their code runs,
Haskell programmers cheer up when their code compiles.4 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
Am I the only one who thinks that with all the scripting languages starting programming becomes to easy and so learning really good programming is getting nearly impossible because every tutorial is made for total n00bs and every forum is full of: hey my hello world programs isn't working?
Ps:I have no problem with people starting programming with languages like c# and python, I think just there are too many people saying that they are programmers just because they wrote hello world.
Pps: sry 4 my English.4 -
* had to share * read it on a tutorial website *
Remember that everyone makes mistakes.
Programmers are like magicians who fool everyone into thinking they are perfect and never wrong, but it's all an act. They make mistakes all the time.1 -
PM: You can cut corners it it's necessary.
Me: Thanks for giving me permission to move faster.
*But as you know, I wouldn't be in this position if you hadn't made us agree to such an unrealistic deadline.*
..
...
*after completion*
.
.
PM: There are bugs in the code.
ME: There are bugs, because you asked me to cut corners. *fu#k you* *wtf moment*4 -
People ranting about programmers in <insert language> not being programmers because <insert other language> is better...4
-
Programmers nowadays have to...
… write 100%-covering unit tests;
… set up continuous integration, linters, hinters, style checkers, …;
… follow style guides for every language;
… meet impossible deadlines;
… meet impossible management/customer/end user expectations;
… read through terrible code others made;
… read through terrible documentation others made;
… make terrible documentation themselves;
… fight with the IDE;
… fight with the build tools;
… deal with unreproducible crash reports coming in from everywhere;
… debug code written at 2am (by themselves AND others);
…
…
…
… KNOW HOW TO PROGRAM.6 -
It's the Art of Searching on Google.
For the Programmers. By the Programmers. Of the Programmers 😝
2 -
Work from Home was not the cup of tea for most of us before Covid-19. 😱
Some really love working in the comfort of their home like your oh-so-lovely HR and some are scratching their heads like your beloved Project Managers.😂
The Designer is loving his space. 😍
Tester is enjoying some good naps in between the working hours. 😴
and... What do you think programmers would be doing? 🧐
Well.. well.. well.. Programmers don't really feel any change. Coding then and Coding now. 😎
How's your Work From Home Going?
4 -
Most of guy programmers feel difficult to get a gf . I wonder does girl programmers face the same situation. 🤔🤔🤔14
-
There is this general idea that people have that when programmers are able to run their code in their first attempt, without any error, they think of ourselves as geniuses. But i think that is the case only when you are starting to code. If a programmer with enough experience runs his/her code in their first attempt without any issues, he/she just says their thanks and moves on, because they know that the code can sense cockiness and if they get too carried away now they'll have to pay the price in future.3
-
Is there a relation with bad long term memory and programmers?
Most really good programmers I know don't have great memeory11 -
someone: Who are you ?
me: Programmer
someone: What do programmers do ?
me: We push shitty hacks into production2 -
What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
-
Yesterday was the first day of an "Advanced" C programming class. I looked at the first homework afterwards and saw this:
NEVER use 'assert'. Real programmers don't use assert in big software projects because it makes your code stop.
Who the... What... How... Why would you...
*sigh* it's going to be a long two months.5 -
These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:
1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.
2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)
3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.
4. Programmers who discourage new developers.
5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)
6. Programmers who compare me with others.
7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).13 -
Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?
GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!
Nobody says,
"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"
"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"
"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"
"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"
"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".
Why is everything trying to replace programmers?8 -
programmers after Rust:
- cat ears: on
- pink thigh-highs: on
- butt plug: in
“I… I use Wust 😏🤤 bwazing fast UwU”
programmers before Rust:
9 -
I want to marry a girl who's programmer like me. Do any one has a programmer couple here ?
I think programmers can match best for eachother.
Your thoughts on that?13 -
Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.1
-
Programmers with design skills?
Design comes with creativity which I lack the most. Should we learn to design and be creative?8 -
Don’t steal this aforizm;
ChatGPT will make good programmers become better, but it will make bad programmers look better.
Can reword to increase conciseness.7 -
Programmers wise thoughts:
Programming is solving a puzzle. Whether you have to piece something new together or change a wrong piece -
Once a programmer writes his first line of code, he can never undo it.
Despite of no-code mood, I opened the IDE and started typing with a single finger.
What's wrong with us? We breath code -
I fucking hate it when Java programmers hate on Python programmers! They believe Java is superb while Python is flawed. They talk about speed, speed, speed and speed!
Java programmers, why do you guys behave like assholes?27 -
Casting never worked well with humans. On the other hand, programmers don't mind working with it.
Hance:
Programmers != humans2 -
*phases of learning to program*
Phase 1:
Yeah its so easy i love programming i'm gonna be a top programmer.
Phase 2:
Uuuhg.. programming sucks,i think i'm not meant for it,should i give up do something else maybe...
#programming #100DaysOfCode #mumbai #love #indian #gujarati #vadodarabarodacity #instagram #vadodaradiary #msubaroda #aapduvadodara #vadodaranews #vadodarawomen #officialvadodara #vadodaracity #barodarocks #barodagoogle #vadodarafashion #vadodara_lover #barodadiaries #barodamirror #india #vadodarabaroda #geek #developerslife #webdev #php #design #css #java #developers #html #softwarehouse #softwares #softwaredevelopment #technology #coderlife #designer #softwareengineer #webdesigner #codingisfun #programmerproblems #programmerjokes #programmerlifestyle #programmergirl #webdevelopment #developerlife #devlife #webdesign #programmersday #softwareengineering #programmering #programmerhumor #development #dev #programmerlife #programmer #developer #vadodara #coding #software #baroda #programming #vadodaradiaries #vadodara_baroda #coder #webdeveloper #gujarat #programmerslife #javascript #vadodara_igers #codinglife #barodacity #code #vadodarablogger #programmers #softwaredeveloper #ourvadodara #goals #beyourself #happy #smile #lifeisgood #socialmedia #success #friday2 -
Programmers hating languages different of their own. Programming language is first and mainly a TOOL.
-
Do you think there is any language which is not hated by any programmer (or by most of the programmers)?16
-
What happens when programmers are drunk like shit in an office party, and you try to leave?
"import back that muthafucka and lets build his balls" -
They say that we are weird,
they say we don't have passion,
they say we don't have life,
they say we are a sacrifice for the world
.
.
I say we are the best mind who can save the world from its own. WE ARE PROGRAMMERS!!!
(except for C# programmers of course)5 -
How mamy programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?? None!! It's a hardware problem!!! Old one but best one :D
-
Yea we programmers sometimes bitch about errors and bugs but let's be honest that is what keeps this "specie" alive. 😄
-
A visit to the planet earth.
Alien I: Hey look, look at these things. They work like sloths and sleep like koalas. Wonder how they have survived this long.
Alien II: It's a pity. I told High Commander this is totally a waste of time and resources.
Human: Well, we do have programmers too.
Alien I: WTF!
Alien II: Now, that planet is worth colonizing. Let's get to work then 👽1 -
“The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.”
-
So today I found an HackerSpace in my fucking zone, never thought that this would happen.
Thanks programmers all-over the world for this, I fucking love programmers
P.S: except Swift programmers2 -
When I reveal to those who ask that I don't follow religion or religious practices, they immediately assume that I'm a communist.
No I'm not a communist.
I wish if there was a religion for us programmers so that I can easily and happily answer such kind of questions.
Any ideas of such a religion? If not, let's make one?3 -
Whenever I rant about JavaScript and it's terrible way of doing things differently and totally illogical in the way real programmers would do things versus webdev-scriptkiddies...
Whenever I laugh about these engineers who can only 'code' in Matlab...
Whenever I hear people consider configuring (of stuff like WordPress or RGB-Keyboard-Lights etc.) as 'programming'...
I wonder, if I'm just like the 'Real Programmers' back in 1983 who truly considered Fortran or Assembly to be much more superior than Pascal and someone who coded in the latter or even used a simple OS like UNIX couldn't get accepted as a programmer.
Found that old article about "Real Programmers".
It's worth a read.
http://pbm.com/~lindahl/...
Just consider someone writing modern computer programs without libraries, ifs, for loops and only gotos by hand from top to bottom...
Some day I want to start some modern project everyone else would do in some random modern scripting language and hack it down in assembly just for fun and to tell people, I did it. So I could call myself a Real Programmer too.2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View