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-
Wife: what are you thinking about?
Me: how to optimize key storage in a binary tree
Wife: forget that I asked5 -
Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.26 -
Programmer was smoking...
lady nearby: "can't you see the warning smoking is injurious to your life!"
Programmer: "we are not worried about warnings only about Errors"4 -
An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me
Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.
##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##
Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭28 -
If any programmer tells you that you are number 1 on his life, don't trust him.. most of us start counting from zero. haha3
-
FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read25
-
Flirting! Life as a programmer has me irrationally attracted to nerds. A recent flirty exchange included something like this - "I'll build your environment, baby. I will build it with the finest, artisanally-crafted shell scripts so it can built and rebuilt over and over again.."
My friends think it's weird that all my crushes are neither good looking nor social. I don't think they'd ever understand.10 -
im a programmer.
Moms : Son, please fix my phone
Me : what the...
Moms : Cmon ur the IT guy right?
Dad : My laptop must be broken, can u fix it ?
Me : i can't..
Dad : ur degree is useless
Me : ....
Friend : hi, ur the IT guy right ? can u help me ?
Me : Sure ...
Friend : please hack my BF facebook account..
Me : *face Palm.18 -
Story of my life. Staying up all night to work on something that gets postponed or cancel
Source: http://commitstrip.com/en/2013/...
4 -
*Stages of debugging*
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?3 -
Being a programmer:
If you ain't questing your life from time to time, you are not doing it right.4 -
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry 😭😭😭
[ NOTE : Check my profile for older incident ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
I was invited by a fellow friend to a newly built Cyber Security firm , I didn't asked for any work issues as it was my friend who asked me to go there . Let's call it X for now . It was a good day , overcast weather , cloudy sky , everything was nice before I entered the company . And the conversation is as follows :
Fella - Hey! Nice to see you with us .
Me - Thanks! Where to? *Asking for my work area*
Fella - Right behind me .
Me - Good thing :)
Fella - So , the set-up is good to go I suppose .
Me - Yeah :)
*I'm in my cabin and what I can see is a Windows VM inside Ubuntu 12.4*
*Fast forward to 1 hour and now I'm at the cafeteria with the Fella*
Fella - Hey! Sup? How was the day?
Me - Fine *in a bit confused voice*
Fella - What happened mate , you good with the work?
Me - Yeah but why you've got Windows inside Ubuntu , I mean what's the use of Ubuntu when I have to work on Windows?
Fella - Do you know Linux is safe from Malwares?
Me - Yeah
Fella - That's why we are using Windows on VM inside Linux .
Me - For what?
Fella - To keep Windows safe from Malwares as in our company , we can't afford any data loss!
Me - 😵 *A big face palm which went through my head and hit another guy , made me a bit unconscious*
I ran for my life as soon as possible , in future I'm never gonna work for anyone before asking their preferences .7 -
Confession: If I weren't a programmer, I probably would have never used a single semicolon in my life!4
-
me: Better check my phone for texts from friends
me: *checks phone*
me: Better get some friends
* Few seconds later *
me: Better go back to terminal2 -
So a car hit me while I was riding the bike back from work and I fractured my collarbone. And I have to wear a sling on my left arm 24/7 for 4 weeks now.
But that's not the worst part.
Coding with one hand is.18 -
I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....22
-
"Just about every aspect of your every day life is run by or depends on millions of lines of code.. have you hugged a programmer today?"1
-
So this is Reddit with a slick design specifically for complaining about how life as a programmer is annoying some of the time? I'm in.3
-
My first poem for programmer girl 😘😘😘
My life is incomplete without you,
You are semicolon of my life
You are my increment operator,
you make my value increases
I am username and you are my password,
without you No one can access me
You are my initializer,
without you my life would point to nothing (NULL or “0”)
If I were a function you must be my parameter,
Because I will always need you
Can you be my private variable?
I want to be only one who can access you
You are my compiler,
My life wouldn’t start without you
You are my loop condition ,
I keep coming back to you
My love to you is like recursive function,
It will never ends & Will never enter into infinite loop
Forever and Ever10 -
Normal person in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- patiently waits
- gets out
Programmer in an elevator:
- gets in
- pushes the floor number
- thinks about how elevators are programmed, what the data structures would look like.
- regrets his life decisions 😂
- gets out4 -
*Moves to another town to start a new job
*Been living in a dorm for the past month
*Starts looking for flats to rent
*Misses a few nice ones because he finds their ads a few hours late
*Starts developing an app that looks for new flat ads that matches his requirements and notifies him of their existence
*Finds a nice flat by accident before he even finish developing the app
*Refuses to rent it only because he believes his app could do better!
Me in a nutshell!4 -
Never underestimate the power of a decent chair!
Was staying at friend's for a couple weeks with a horrible chair - my back just spasmed so hard that I am physically unable to get up from bed. Thank god for devRant to keep me occupied throughout the night.
Stay safe kids3 -
On June 2016, I've quite my job. 15 years as developer/system administrator in a middle company in switzerland. 30 people with everyday problem. 30 calls per day.
Now, i work in my own company.
More work, no more time, but u know what? No regrets!! I'm freeeeeeee! :p3 -
!rant
Some of my friends and me stayed the night in a small house. Everyone except me drank beer and now they are all sleeping while I am sitting right next to the socket in a corner listening to music and reading through the documentation of java.
This describes my life pretty well. -
Programmer Influencers piss me off to Jupiter and back.
The ones who talk about just being a programmer, and don't do normal tutorials and solve a real-world problem and demonstrate it.
"i iNcREaSeD mY pRoDuCTiViTy bY 90%. hErE's HoW"
"tOp 10 lAnGuAGeS yOu sHoUlD lEaRn iN 2023"
"dAy iN thE LiFe oF a SoFtWaRe EnGiNeEr"
"HeRE's hOw yOu cAn wRiTe bUg fReE cOdE"13 -
How does programming influence a programmers daily life?
1. We start counting from zero.
2. We observe software more than using it. What is the algorithm behind it? Which Data structure is used?
3. Greeting people with "hello world".
4. Assigning variables to people.12 -
When a programmer is in love,
He doesn't care about the UI, but cares about the algorithm and functionality.
In real life, he care about what is inside, not the physical appearance. :)5 -
Today is the first saturday where that is not a working day for me.
Joined a new company this week1 -
Some are taking it as a holiday, others still have to meet deadlines while being quarantined.
Source: I am Programmer,I have no life.
5 -
"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.
"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"
For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.7 -
I spent 5 years as sole programmer on a Doom 3 total conversion. Joined the team as a shitty C programmer that didn't know C++, and just hit the books and got rid of the social life. The successful part is that we actually finished it.
It's just a game mod and my fist foray onto a new language, and current project will hopefully soon replace it as my biggest & best show of skill, but I'm still proud of it.3 -
When I die, I want the R.I.P on my tombstone mean something different
Recursion Investigator Program
On my computer, there will be a file with that name
and when you decompile it to assembly
it will tell my life story in assembly
this will be a death propper for an assembly programmer6 -
I used to be a lousy software developer, and I used to settle for what I knew. Until my sister told me that my mother spoke of me to the family as a successful professional, someone who had overcome the poverty where he grew up and now lived in another country. Since then I have struggled to become a better professional, a better husband and in a few months i want to be the best that! My wife's pregnant!9
-
Over 7 years writing software, through good, bad and ugly.
I still wake up feeling like an impostor most of the days.
Impostor syndrome on fleek.4 -
Opened Devrant to say...
"Office is so hopeless that I am not even in mood to rant about all those stuff"
But saw a post that I had typed last time but never posted it....
Things happen!
6 -
Usually, when I'm in the mood to code, my GF will tease me by sending a lot of text messages at once.
When I'm not in the mood, she had slept earlier :-|3 -
I live a double life as a programmer where I write Javascript during the day for work, and C during the night for fun (or to fight crime).10
-
Being a Programmer:
My mom said:
"Honey, please go to the market and buy 1 bottle of milk. If they have eggs, bring 6"
I came back with 6 bottles of milk.
She said: "Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"
BECAUSE THEY HAD EGGS!!!!3 -
Life is like code,
Your loved ones are your IDE,
You can be good with code without an IDE,
but it makes things much more smoother when you have one :D
Life quote :) -
Aah my father, programmer, when I was in primary school and he told me "don't be a programmer in life, it's an infinite pain in the ass". Aaah I should have listened to him1
-
No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.
After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.4 -
WanBLowS Vusta is more stable than this piece of shit that you call code. Yet you call yourself a programmer? Goddammit, even the shit that I dump in the toilet looks better. Because at least that thing is honest about being shit, unlike this craptacular mess that you call an application. Maybe consider kill -9 $(pidof life).3
-
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*
*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭
*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*
Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .
*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*1 -
I wonder, Can a programmer survive without StackOverflow !! What if Google goes off for some days!! Life without these legends. Huh..🤔13
-
Yesterday I was hanging with the guys from our Records dpt in the staff lounge. Their manager is a pretty nice talkative guy. Everything was going well until this happened..
Him: Hey you, I have an idea for an app. You can"definitely" help me, right? Or someone you know who also does the code thing..
Me: It depends. Just before you tell me about this idea, know that you'll be paying me or whoever will be doing this job unt..i..l *he interrupts
Him: Paying? I thought it was a one time or few hundreds of dollars. Why do I have to keep paying when you haven't finished the app?
Me: Did you finish your entire work this week?...but you're still getting paid next week, right?
Him: Oh crap, makes sense. Ok, how about I pay you the amount you charge then, that's it?
Me: See, you don't get it. I know once the app is done, you'll come back to me to fix and update things. When that time comes, you'll have to pay me again. And with the initial payment, don't just think you pay me and that's all... you'll...
Him: Crap, I have think more and come up with a plan for this.. nevermind, I'll keep you updated.
I think I made him sad knowing that, this sort of things doesn't happen easily.2 -
To long to read. So don’t do it.
I feel disappointed. It’s not about job or stuff. I’m disappointed about world in general. I don’t see my future on this planet anymore.
The world more or less looks like that :
Politics are trying to help you by stealing more money from you. The more you’re lucky the more money you will pay for it.
Media punch you with some family stuff from everywhere, give you young rich and far away, beautiful picture photos of places, people and food that you at most could visit once or twice per year during holidays that are break from work concentration camps.
If you’re lucky you’re rich or got rich or wealthy and infamous so you can walk wherever you want and don’t give a fuck what you wear but again your old friends are not so lucky bastards so you need to find new friends that are probably assholes. At the end most of the days you you’re doing nothing except killing time to meet with people you like during weekends or evenings.
Then there are families and everyone want to tell you that’s important. Family is like herd of assholes, if you’re weak they will sacrifice you and tell that you’re looser behind your back but when you get wealthy they will come back to tell you that when you were young and stupid they played with you so now you have to buy them some stuff or get them a job.
At the end there are people with “I wrote that book” certificate of excellence try to sell you opinions on everything starting from sexual positions ending on how to take a good dump. The problem is that the moment they wrote that book it becomes obsolete. Teachers of useless knowledge from last century that forgot about google or wikipedia.
All of them are playing your emotions, cause impulses and hormones are what makes you weak and people are looking for your weaknesses to take advantage of you. Get your money or get your attention and maybe even both at the same time. Cause views matter you know it. So like and subscribe dumb fucks.
If you’re lucky you find couple of them who aren’t doing that. Who the fuck knows why but this shit happens. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or you met them month ago. Those are only to keep and hardest to find. Unluckily those also can change by other people they meet or when they’re young.
If you can’t find a friend get a dog or cat or whatever animal you like. Their love is unconditional and obvious to read.
Well that’s most of the “I want to be spotted” culture that is all boring as fuck. Personalized ass and glamorous pictures and short movies of everything you don’t need but looks awesome. And as you see it’s still growing with more specialized portals like onlyfans, twitch and tiktok. We all need to look at what everyone else have or want to have cause 99% of time 99% of us are boring and is bored as fuck. Most of us can repeat same small amount set of stories all their life cause we’re not created to entertain.
I don’t feel joy looking at this shit fucked full of shit people arguing who’s dick is bigger. Who can post most dumb thing. I think I need a break but how to break from everything ? How to break from culture of money where to live on your country land you need to pay property tax ?
That’s all fucked up. Life’s fucked up.27 -
First thing i do in morning is..
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade
Life with ubuntu is easy!4 -
Getting up at 6:00 probably starts to please me. It's been three hours and I've done most of the things today.
Do you prefer to get up early or sit at night?10 -
Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*
Error fixed: I am God!2 -
I think,
Every programmer when Starts learning programming:-
'I am the one who is gonna lead the world'
But ends up saying:-
'What the fuck I was supposed to do?'🙃4 -
Friend: what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: could you fix my computer ?
Me: Kill Me(Thinks). -
Ada Lovelace 1834 (The First Programmer) Doctor Who season 12 😍
One of the reasons I love this show is how it brings history to life.
23 -
As a final year student it makes me feel proud about things I do now, back in 2014 I was newbie to programming and after the years of study ( I skip collages in order to study by my self at home since my syllabus is too old for me to keep up with new technologies. ) I still feel like shit against brilliant programmers on the internet.
My journey untill now was frustrating and side by side it was fun too, I have spent several days to figure out very minor problems in my programme which made me forced to learn even more in order to avoid silly mistakes in future.
Those four lines of output were really true worth of that forty lines of code.
Every one of us, in their entire life at least once had thought about which programming languages to learn first and yes I was one of those guy who used to search on Google, watched YouTube videos and asked seniors for the same advice but soon I realized it's never enough to completely learn even one language. Each and every programming language is based on similar logical structure. No matter how different it's syntax is it won't make much of a difference.
I am thankful to internet and all of those guys who make video tutorials, help on q&a forum (stack overflow) , publish posts on website and all of IT community guys. I made it this far it's all thanks to you and I know it's just beginning of spectacular journey ahead.2 -
He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her.
I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code. 😟 -
Me apprentice 18 years old in germany: I don’t want to go in another team
Also me in the new team after 2 days: playing with my new boss during work CSGO and say everyone we are to busy with the big project3 -
Being a programmer and had to read scientific papers is the worst. the way they name variables in the pseudocodes making me puke.3
-
!rant
As a programmer I feel that i write instructions for the machine's heartbeat.
Single repetitive pattern to be performed for gazillion number of times.
And all that matters is how that heartbeat goes. As long as this one is fine, the next one should be mostly fine. -
I hate my freelancer life.
1. No weekends
2. No particular time to close
3. Work for 12 to 14 hours without sleep sometimes
4. Keep explaining the dumb clients about how development is not wordpress.
Its all fucked up. I have no life.
My average Lines of code this month is around 700 LOC/day. Whereas the average that showed on internet is 100 LOC/day.
I have choosen a hellish life.10 -
Wondering how many of you have ADD/ADHD, diagnosed or not. I've heard people say that many programmers have ADD or ADHD and that it generally makes them a better programmer. I myself have ADD and I feel like it makes me a better programmer, but I have to work harder at paying attention to my wife/social life.24
-
When company invites to wiesn/octoberfest and every employe gets a beer and foot Flatrate. Thats one of those moments where i think "being programmer was the best decision in my life"
5 -
My laptop is in a coma, it won't turn on!
Now I don't have anything to do with my life, it's been 2 days and I feel like a stone age man9 -
My co-worker pointing out there is a problem with my code that isn't implemented 100% yet. Hinting she wanted me to finish it over the weekend.
Yeah FMDL. -
I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.
Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.
So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.
Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.
Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.
Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.1 -
To have a 6-hour 5-day (at max, for any reason) software job to sustain myself, leaving me enough time to enjoy life, exercise, travel at times, and create personally or with my programmer friends challenging and innovative projects, regardless of whether they are going to be monetized later or become open source.2
-
Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
10 years ago I was learning how to program in college,
Now working in IT company I stare at Excel Sheets and scratch my head.
#10yearschallenge -
!rant !dev
Finished side project last month. It was hell of a ride, about 300-350 hours of programming and solving problems per month for over half a year, including my regular remote job.
Side project was 1 hour commute time from my house.
There were days where I was working over 16 hours per day.
During this roller coaster I also changed my diet to keto and lost about 12kg / 26 lbs.
Kept my regular remote job where I am the only backend developer.
Donated to eff.
Started listen to audiobooks and exercise to keep my mind clear and focused.
Finally I discovered devrant.
It was all crazy shit and I feel happy I did it because now 5 days after I finished this side project I started to think that my life is not so fucked up I thought it is. This gave me my confidence back.
Now it’s time to rest before some new crazy shit would hit my life.
Peace1 -
My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.
GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"
Credit: i am programmer, i have no life (fb page )7 -
three days trying to code magento payment method, our seniors didn't help me (because they lazy), went to other company senior, 10min and everything works...life sucks
-
If you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don’t need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on and the dedication to go through with it. ~John Carmack3
-
Damn life.
Life is very hard.
Social relationships are very difficult.
I am so lonely.
Not friendship.
Not a girlfriend.
All I have is my laptop.
My only companion is a laptop.
The only person sitting on my feet is my laptop.
Well, I'm a programmer, so what?
What kind of person am I?
What is the purpose of my creation?14 -
Sanity check.
Guys and Gals... Is this normal to hear from your co-worker things like (will try to translate to English):
"I don't know about your sex life, but could you stop fucking around with this website and move to the shop site?"
and
"Don't fuck around and just do it"
I hear this from a guy who is not a programmer.11 -
As a developer you have to learn!
Your whole fucking work life!
I totally give you credits for being a good programmer in 1990, but you have learnt NOTHING in the last fucking 30 years.
If you don't know anything about MVC....
and nothing about object oriented programming,
and nothing about all the new cool features,
SHUT THE FUCK UP!5 -
You know why i hate JavaScript?
Instead of writing
return x.y.z;
I wrote
return
x
.y
.z;
Just for making the code look clean
and everything broke...10 -
Everyday life of a programmer:
Crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding, crying, coding,
coding while crying...4 -
Software development lifecycle:
Step 1: Take shortcuts to get the project done in time.
Step 2: Wait for shit to hit the you know what
Step 3: Goto Step 14 -
Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.
For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?
And what challenges/reactions did you face?3 -
Honestly, school is useless for me as of right now. I know I should be well rounded and stuff, but do I honestly need to know the symptoms of cervix cancer while going into a tech career? My eyes have been set on tech for my whole life, ever since I left the womb, and I know that if I do switch careers, it'll be from comp sci to cyber security not from IT to med school...
I feel like I could really be devoting my time towards something better than writing a 5 page essay on a healthy food choice.
Every night I think to myself, "You know what, I'm going to lock myself in a room and write bash scripts all day" but then I wake up in the morning, and remember I have to take a quiz on reproductive systems, learn about the procedure of organ donations for driver's ed, write 2 paragraph definitions of vocab words, and read a book about communism.
The most useful thing I learned last year, was how to efficiently navigate the java API, and that's something you don't even learn, you just encounter it. Schools need to start having more specific specialties and stop enforcing knowledge of pointless topics.
I'm not saying to remove all core classes and stuff, I'm saying why waste space in our brains with something we won't use ever again? I get it, some people don't know what career they're looking for yet so you can't make them choose, but it honestly sucks some serious ass that I can't learn what I want to at school, and as a matter of fact, I can't even learn at home, because they're filling my schedule with pointless work because they feel that they have to fill our time somehow.
Point of this long ass rant is: Why lock yourself in a room and learn about something if it isn't something you want to learn about? The space in our brain is finite enough, why can't it be filled with things we're interested in rather than things that will only be used to get good grades in the future then overwritten with useful knowledge. Same thing with time. We have a very finite amount of time in a day, and now that I think of it, a lifetime. Why spend it on something that doesn't, and never will, make your life enjoyable?7 -
This is so nice..💙😄
<Heading>
Synopsis of Gita (religious book of Hindus)
<Stanza 1>
Code is an illusion
Today you are coding
Tomorrow someone else would do it
Thereafter someone else
<Stanza 2>
What did you learn
That is helping you in this Project
What are you learning
That will help you in your next Project
<Stanza 3>
Bug is the truth of life
It is today, and will remain forever
You think you have debugged the Bug
You are wrong
<Stanza 4>
It is continuous
In various new forms
It pops up
Recognise it Parth (Son of Hindu God)
<Stanza 5>
That's why go on making Codes
Don't think about the Bug
They will come to you
On their own1 -
Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?7
-
When I go to sleep, driving my car, or when I am distracted with some hobbies my mind give me some ideas and motivation for doing programs and games.
Then I switch on my PC and my laziness come from holidays to fuck my projects and doing anything.
Idk why.
I need help? Or my life as programmer sucks? -
Can anyone tell me what all things a developer should follow in order to be upto date. It's just too long of a thing.
I have been a back end developer, became a big data developer, then moving to becoming a full stack developer. Now I don't know who I am anymore. -
This is starting to get out of hand...
We shouldnt be makig more IDEs we should be eliminating them.
Like Ryan Dahl once said:
“We should not be supporting more programming languages. We should be killing them. All these bullshit projects are confusing people.”
Same with fucking IDEs...
10 -
https://hackernoon.com/how-it-feels...
After reading this post, I am so confused what to with this life. I thought of becoming a full stack developer. After reading it, I am thinking, is this I want to do with my life. How many libraries, frameworks, technologies and languages should I learn.
Getting confused what to do now. Grrrr...2 -
What was your best moment in your life as a Programmer?
Mine, besides a small amount of good projects for my course, was telling by the phone to a project partner the code, line by line, that would solve a bug in the code and when be put it and run the project it worked. Still need something to top that one XD2 -
Bruh....ig this is a bit too much but relatable to real life...
God is the best programmer....
lol
5 -
Leaving my first job 🦷after graduation as a programmer for 6 yrs.. to join an international team of developers in a new company...exciting and wierd but must 🦴👔7
-
Went for a hand surgery, the anesthetic doctor is learning swift and then he put the needle in the wrong hand.
Lesson learned: never trust a programmer with your life6 -
It's the simple things in life that makes me feel that being programmer is fun.
Copying all jpgs from 100 folders? Done.
Ofc I could have searched the folder via Normal finder search, selected them and then copied like a normal human being but wasting more time to do the same thing is what being an engineer about :D
4 -
Well I'm new to MacBook and it's OS, for like 1.5 months now, got pretty much hands on it to have my command over it. And as of now i am loving it ( since i came from Windows) judge me for it if you want to..🙄
Can you guys suggest some **MUST HAVE** tools/ programs/ apps, related or non-related to a programmer to make life easy on OSX?7 -
what am i going to do today? whatever the fuck the SYSTEM throws at me... or what my manager wants me to waste time on... ah , programmer life when one has a conundrum of doing what you like to do but not end up doing that because there are other mountains to climb with squirrels eating your nuts...1
-
New android dev joiners... Never Ever... I am saying.. never ever update the test devices in the office...!!! 😣😣
-
I love the job hunt, just thinking about ending my life everyday now. Maybe I'm just a bad programmer - or just completely dumb.
Anyone have any advice on getting front end developer jobs?4 -
A combination of life literally pushing me in this direction and my own interest in everything that is smart or complex.
But, I hope it serves as a stepping stone for me to achieve better things than being "just a programmer/dev" -
!rant Week 82
Eastern philosophy has made me better at programming. I'm not much of a metaphysics guy, but abstract space breeds creativity. I find that programming and zen are alike, wholeness enveloped by nothingness. A new programming language is being an infant to a foreign universe, without any means to make sense of things. Only through your own references can you make sense of this new stimuli. That nascent feeling, being a baby, is an amazing thing. Programming is probably the most humbling task I've ever endured. We all know the feelings of imposter syndrome, and yet they seem distant when a new solution is just burgeoning. Rehabilitation refers to social programs as programming. Criminals spend all day, "programming" in most institutions. Programming as a word becomes a meditation for change. So life and programming then, are forever in twined. And my experience of being humbled as a programmer has helped me in life. And my experiences being humbled by life, have made me a better programmer. -
The moment when the UI designers had included their design as a zeplin link in your Jira story. You finished coding it, the designers made changes to it and expected me to magically know about it.2
-
When you impress your peers because you have grown in a year as a programmer. Still there is a long way to go but I feel very confident I can achieve my goals. Any tips for project management and how to grow soft skills. I lack in that area.3
-
//Met an old friend
So I heard you're a programmer now. I need some help from you.
*write something on paper
HACK this fb account unless you are a big fat phony.6 -
Guys, how do you stay disciplined as a programmer ? I mean how do you manage to work , work and learn for your side projects and also maintain your health ans social life. Is it possible ?1
-
Whether you're a newbie or a programmer with 10+ years of experience, you'll always go to StackOverflow and GitHub 🤣😂
6 -
The time when you NEED to go to bed but you got a bug to fix or a feature to add, and become a BAT!1
-
It is Saturday 19:30 and I am spending my time writing functions for save/load data in a binary tree. Recursion and fscanf are not a good combo so far, but that is the task. When the code is done I have to get some math done.
-
Oh what a wonderful life we lead, when first we code, debug and repeat.
(Before you ask me: it's an original btw)2 -
In that frustrated moment where the code is right but doesn't work...
Boss is a non-technical guy who's like I don't care just get it done and I'm just sitting here staring at the screen not knowing what to do...1 -
Solo client developers are a fucking nightmare to deal with - especially the lil pretentious patronizing douchebags who talk shit about you and act like they are a better programmer than you to their whole company to make themselves look better and to break up relationships. I wish I had your address so I could ruin your life you stupid waste of space cuntface McGee.3
-
8:43pm
Should I use django rest or graphene?
8.52
*Creates serializers and views*
9.32
I think mutations will work just fine
10:54
I don't need access to all models from the client
11:12
Let me start a new app and import models from the existing app
00:23
I am a programmer, I have no life. -
Entering 2021 strong with more knowledge and more experience 💙💪
2020 was a year of learning.
It taught us the value of time, to believe in ourselves, to make the best use of what we have, not take anything for granted and always keep learning.
Only then we can overcome our biggest fears
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2021
11 -
How does Programmer enjoy their Life?
Girl: Do you drink?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Have Girlfriend?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Then how do you enjoy life?
Programmer: I am a Programmer
8 -
As a programmer I solve my life problems using programming too..
<?php
$problemSolved = “Fuck Life!!!”;
echo $problemSolved;
?>4 -
My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
Is software development a field you can spend your entire life in or its like professional football, the older you get and companies don't want you anymore and they're seeking young talent?
I need to know where i might end up in 20 years time5 -
Team meeting: the art of sitting through an hour-long discussion that could have been summarized in a single email.2
-
I love to sleep a lot and can't stay up too late.
I love cooking meals that take a long time to make.
I love video games, books, TV shows and exercising at the gym.
But I also love software development, and I fear I can't enjoy both worlds.
All of my freelance developer friends always stay up late and never have time for anything. In one hand I'm very jealous of their programming skills and wish I had these too. But I fear I will lose my life to it.
Can I still be a developer and have a life?2 -
Today was a little better, we discussed a bit about design with client and agreed to add two new screens inside application. Need to organize some backend logic for this.
Nothing difficult but there might be some problems as we progress trough this data during first implementation.
Don’t have a graphic designer in a team anymore so lots of freedom and mistakes. -
!rant
Anyone else wonder how they got into the kind of the coding they're in?
Like, I wanted to make plugins for music software and DAWs and now I do front end web...
I don't even know what fucking language is used for something like that -
Previusly on programming....how can the programmer be more efficient and avoid redundant work and be productive
in todays episode.....how can the programmer spend his whole life writing presentation pages -
Code Review is one fucking awesome stunt.
- Take a long sommersault flip.
- Land on your face or your ass, it doesn't matter.
TBH, lot of learning insights during the review. -
New year resolutions that we make every year but aren't they meant to be broken?
What new year resolutions did you make or break?
3 -
How do all you other devs deal with sleep? Because I am losing my fucking mind I work for myself so I don't go to work at 9am leave at 6pm.
I normally work until 6am and then sleep till 12 drink 3 strong coffee to start functioning again try and do something productive which at the moment involves catching up on the NBA playoffs and then starting work at 6pm.
Due to resent baby I thought shit my life is fucked I haven't left the house in 3 days I need structure routine I need to work 9am to 6pm become human again but I just can't FUCKING sleep it's now 1:30am and I'm trying to sleep.
I know what your thinking why are you on devRant but I've been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours but all I can think about is work code, refactoring, new languages, security, support shit that can wait but I can't get it out my head, keep thinking "ah your not tired you could work", and YES I have a list which get bigger every day wish I had a drug dealer or was still in contact with my old mates so I could get some Valium but it's hot milk and sleeping tablets for me, life is so much easier when you can just fuck of home at the end of the day and forget about work, not having your laptop next to you trying to trick you into opening it. How do other people who work for theirselves deal with the life work balance?4 -
Girlfriend complains about how I'm always on my laptop, coding, and how I'm not spending enough time with her.
I tell her that my laptop is not the NUMBER ONE thing in my life, but She is.
Little does she know that as a programmer, I start counting from zero6 -
The uncertain-ness of the future of a computer science student about the life of a programmer. This is how I feel right now...
-
How to handle a "Mr/Mrs -KNOW-IT-ALL " or The "I know everything and anything" kind of person in a work place ?5
-
Comment one thing which you never want to miss in your life as a programmer.
For me it is semicolon " ; " ........ :D6
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