My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.

i have a confession to make. I just bought a iphone 7 and already had an macbook pro. I think the hipster live is taking over

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

TITANIC VIRUS: Your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.

Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.

I just found out that my co-student was working for 3 days on editing id's to a excel sheet with 500000 rows because she didn't know that you could just drag the cells. She was really mad beacause i told her she needed to do that as a joke. Feels bad tho. Funny but bad ....

The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.

The new prices of the all new mac pro