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My friend said this,
Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.26 -
Hey geeky girl,
Roses are #ff0000
Violets are #0000ff
I use hex codes, but I’d use RGB for you.
Yet to try it in real life.6 -
Son: Dad why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Because your Mom loves roses! Son: Thanks dad!
Dad: No problem, vue.js16 -
Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):
1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.
2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:
3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.
Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.12 -
Client writes me in slack two hours after my 8 hours are done:
“We have a bug, can you fix it now? We need to have it in two days”
Me, smoking pressing cmd+q, closing laptop , listening fools gold by the stone roses, curtains down6 -
That moment you are coding as a group,and you have one error in your code.after rectifying your one error you get more than 5 errors,and all you can do is stare at that code.
4 -
Here’s a few bars for you:
Roses are #FF0000,
Violets are #0000FF.
Why my code’s working
I haven’t got a clue!2 -
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Unexpected '{' at line 32
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Please don't brag about Python now😂😂16 -
Roses are red
Exceptions are blue
Empty catch blocks are going to hurt you!
try
{ somethingVeryDangerous() }
catch { // No Op
}
finally { SaveFile() }1 -
At a developer conference, we were given these "dev joke" card to trade with another person, to break the ice and make a new connection.
4 -
Roses are red
Boost I need you
You do so much I cannot breath
You fucking need to be hacked around every time I have to compile you for a different compiler or VS version getyourshittogheter fucking hell it makes me hate you -
So today in class, we had the task of presenting poems, for whatever godforsaken reason.
I finished mine last minute and guess who's been the lucky student who had to read theirs.
It then included things such as, roughly translated from german.
Hey actually I could use the translate bot for this but can't be bothered.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I can't rhyme and neither can you"
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, democracy is dead"
"Roses are red, violets are red, everything is red, communism"
"Roses are red, violets are red, blood is red, god is dead"
Then I finished up with a Nietzsche quote "God is dead, god remains dead and we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves yadda yadda"
Actually didn't get fucked over by the teach.
Course and teach quite liked it apparently, can someone explain to me why that is?
Cause I genuinely do not understand what could be likable about such 0815 garbage that's just memes?5 -
My Boss Abuses me, should I leave my job?
I overheard this tidbit on a bus recently. Okay I'm lying. But in the great spans of
time I've spent reading "dear annie" type articles, many involving how often my meth head step dads beat me while growing up, or in turn how often *I* beat me (oh yeah)..I've come across this in one form another, this, and other dumbfuck questions from the stuttering meek and halfhearted.
They say there are no dumb questions. Well, like that guy who smoked too much weed and
asked "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" (fap fap fap), there are in fact dumb questions.The world is overflowing with them, like a clogged shitter full of tacobell and glitter covered brown gutter wisdom. And it smells like roses, if roses smelled like shit.
Questions like "How do I make sure my cats don't feel lonely once I have my first child?"
I don't know, they're fucking cats. Did you even google this before asking?
Or
"How to make spaghetti?"
Really, is this question written by a bot?
"What is the best javascript framework in year x?"
All of them and none of them. Welcome to hell.
"Whats your favorite color?"
My answer: I'm not five years old any more. And obviously you are. Why are you on this site instead of eating crayons at daycare?
Yes indeed, this and many more dumbfuck questions await you and can be found on the preeminent quora, amongst other sites.
A place, which censored an eminently reasonable answer of mine (I was totally not being a shithead btw).
I responded in kind by removing a whole mess of long form answers of mine.
What I have learned from the experience is this: Humanity is greatly comprised of many people who, having no brains to speak of, wander aimlessly like beasts of the field, glass eyed and slack jawed, in search of a savior. But their savior came a long time ago, once, and many times before. An engineer, or programmer, or perhaps in another reincarnation a guy parting a sea of koolaid after the local ruler swindled his peeps out of another payment for moving some heavy ass stone blocks, but I digress.
And in response to peoples worries, anxieties, everyday problems and concerns, every one of these would be wiseman, every one of these saviors, leaders, and great men spoke these magic words which resonate now down through the ages like the voice of reason and providence:
"Read the FUCKING manual."
"And don't bother me again asshole." (well this last bit is all me, but I'm sure others said it too.)2 -
After dual booting windows 10 and parrot Linux,and I try booting to parrot,this is the error I get,any help?
10 -
We can’t use google sheets, cause of security risks.
(Okay...)
Not even for our showcase content.
Which is public.
The showcase content which goal of the company is to have seen by as many ppl as possible.
Cause security issues which may lead to the possibility of people seeing it.
Seeing the content we want them to see.
Roses are red
My dog ate my led
I may be going crazy
It would be so easy
If they used their head
Or at least fucking read
Edit: if any security expert can give me a valid explanation better than: “it’s the protocol” I am willing to accept I am wrong, but then the point is that they (colleagues) are dicks for not explaining5 -
There was a good old barber in Mumbai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber. He again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.
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