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Search - "engineer"
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What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue49 -
Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
.
.
.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.24 -
New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take?"
Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi."
New engineer: "Why pi?"
Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational."5 -
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."7 -
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling in the mud with a pig; after a few minutes you realize the pig likes it.1
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A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".
The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".
The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"1 -
My worst fear while being the on-call/standby server engineer is that I have to call another engineer awake at night because I can't figure something out 😅12
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We have a couple of magazines on the lunch table at work.
There was a paper cloth covering one magazine and one of the Linux engineers lifted it up. This is how it went:
LE: (Linux Engineer) hmm what's under here...? *picks up the cloth*
*a windows magazine appears*
LE: (while putting the cloth back) ew windows, let's keep you hidden!
*other engineers laughing*15 -
One of the linux engineers gets up with: 'I'm sorry, I just pushed a windows server sale to the sales guy :/'
Linux engineer 1: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE D:
Linux engineer 2: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT @_@
Linux engineer 3: Why the FUCK would we want to manage yet another piece of problems?!
Engineer who said it: 'But it's still a sale guys....'
All engineers: THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE O_o
😆33 -
An engineer was working on a windows server. Needed to partition something so typed 'part' in the windows search thingy (windows 10).
Few results found:
Participation laws
Part time working
Partial (something)
Engineer: Jesus fucking Christ I just want the FUCKING partitioner, windows what the actual fuck.18 -
Screaming at harddrives increases disk latency, as demonstrated in 2008 by a SUN-engineer.
https://web.archive.org/web/...
https://youtu.be/tDacjrSCeq44 -
Employer: so why do you want to join this organization?
Engineer: well like i said in the first 4 interviews, I love desks. Sitting behind them. Standing behind them.
Employer: are you a standing or sitting man?
Engineer: i like to sit in the morning and then switch up to stand at lunch.
Employer: a man with a plan. Very good. Do you remember anything from school?
Engineer: not a goddamn thing.
Employer: perfect. You don't need math. Just emails. You like emails?
Engineer: love emails.
Employer: there's gonna be a lot of emails.
Engineer: can't get enough emails.
Employer: perfect. Do you like a clear separation between life and work?
Engineer: oh not at all. I like it to muddy together in a never ending hell.
Employer: alright and you're familiar with work culture?
Engineer: oh those hours i work for free?
Employer: yes.
Engineer: I love that bullshit.
Employer: alright terrific. And are you familiar with the hate hierarchy?
Engineer: yeah the tech's hate the engineers, the engineers hate the tech's and the managers hate everyb-
Employer: everybody. Perfect. Alright I- honestly I think we'd like to make an offer.
Engineer: well, first I gotta leverage that with my current employer for a raise. And if they don't budge, I'll jump shut.
Employer: no loyalty at all?
Engineer: not at all.
Employer: you're hired.4 -
New engineer : How do you estimate how long a project will take..?
Seasoned engineer : I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by π.
New engineer : Why π ?
Seasoned engineer : It ensures that all my budgets are irr-rational..6 -
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The mechanical engineer says:
It's a broken starter.
The electrician's engineer says:
The battery is dead.
The chemical engineer says:
There are impurities in the gas.
The software engineer says:
Guys, try getting out of the the car then back in!1 -
Been awake since 4 am (an hour ago) for a disruption and finally called a fellow engineer because I can't fix this.
It's starting to get light.
There goes my night 😞4 -
Here is better picture. Map is kind of weird, but in the description of GDrive file there is a link to the original, where it looks better.
https://drive.google.com/open/...5 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11 -
Engineer: hi whats this meeting for
Employer: unfortunately today we're cutting staff and you've been affected-
Engineer: 🤣😂🤣😂🤣-
Employer: why are you laughing?!
Engineer: no no- sorry it's just-
Employer: it's not funny-
Engineer: you're broke 🤣😂🤣
Employer: what?!
Engineer: that's like so embarrassing for you-
Employer: that's offensive. That's rude
Engineer: no i mean- you should have told- i didn't know you guys were this poor
Employer: we're not poor the market shift is-
Engineer: is really cringe. I mean can we just start a gofundme campaign or something-
Employer: that won't be necessary
Engineer: this just isn't a good look for you- it's giving 😂- it's giving poverty vibes honestly🤣🤣
Employer: that is very offensive-
Engineer: I'm really embarrassed for you. I was doing three people's jobs anyway bye7 -
Once IT Engineer was travelling by train in A/c class.
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
IT Engineer was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made IT Engineer even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
IT Engineer was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
IT Engineer stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
IT Engineer took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT
😄😀😄4 -
Neighbor: So what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a software engineer.
Neighbor: Oh I don't even know what that means. What exactly do you do?
Me: I write code for Fortune 500 companies while sitting on my couch in my underwear.1 -
Found my spiritual animal:
- a cat
- Russian
- engineer
- smokes
- looks like he went through some shit5 -
Indian Programmer Woes 1:
Random Guy: hey you're a CS engineer right?
Me: yeah.....
RG: then can you hack the Facebook profile of my crush?
Me: ughhh.....No....
RG: then you're not a CS engineer.
Me: :/7 -
Got hired as an SSRS engineer. Walked into work day 1 thinking I was a bad ass with my SQL joes2pros knowledge and quickly (and i mean quickly) got smacked down with what real SQL procs look like........should've renamed my title to SSRS reverse-engineer. Good times.2
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Once I've worked in a start-up located in an engineering university "incubator", so we had a lot of engineer-to-be students applying for part-time jobs.
One of these kids was hired by my boss who labeled him "highly technical, very skilled in IT".
One day, while very busy with my own upcoming release, I had to help him finding a bug in his (horrible) code.
Me: Oh, that's easy, you need to load the image from the parent directory
Guy: ...
Me: You know how to do this, right? You're 1 exam away from being a computer engineer
Guy: ...
Me: Ok, ok, don't worry. Just type "../" right before the path
The guy starts typing, literally, "dotdotslash" into the path.
I immediately stopped him, almost crying. Then, I asked him to go for a walk.
"Don't mind about your bug, I'll take care"3 -
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
😶😶😶4 -
A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...
She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.
Lady: You must be an engineer.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: You must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do you know?
Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 -
Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?
Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.
Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?
Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.
Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?
Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.
Manager: How about a second monitor?
Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.
Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.
Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.
Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.
Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.3 -
I'm the first in 3 generations not be some sort of pipeline/mechical engineer. All my family works at the same company too.
I was partially accepting because at least a software engineer is some kind of engineer.
...And than my cousin graduated to be a gym teacher so I was then fully accepted 😂3 -
Four engineers and a broke down car
One day, mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.
The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas”.
The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system”.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”
To which, the computer engineer replied, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.3 -
Background: Since last 3-4 months, was working with a senior engineer remotely on a project.
Present: Currently, I am Out of Office and yesterday late night, I opened my official mail and after sometime I got an email with subject: GOODBYE!
It was from him. The same senior engineer with whom I was working. I thought it was a joke. But people don't joke when they send such emails to a huge group of people.
I never knew he was going to leave so soon. I wanted to learn so many things working with him. I used to ask him the silliest doubts ever.
I still wonder why he left the company. I have so many questions to ask him.
I am sad. I am feeling left alone.
It's awkward that today, this very moment, I can't ping him anymore forever.
It's obvious to be more professional and such things are normal.
But, I am fresher and my first project was with him. So, it's kind of tough for me too.
I know this will help me to grow up stronger and teach me that time isn't constant and we need to always be ready and use the right time preciously and deal with the "constant change".
And also, wherever he goes, my best wishes to him and I hope I will meet him some day. -
Left my post as a software engineer in a Software Development company.
I’m now a Lead engineer in a consultancy.2 -
My company thinks "DevOps Engineer" means
(Senior AWS Solutions Architect) + (Lead DevOps Engineer) + (CISO) + (Helpdesk) + (Sys Admin) + (Team Lead) + (Database Adminstrator)
My mistake was taking on all those duties without demanding 7x the pay.10 -
A year ago I posted on here about me going to an interview for my first co-op position.
It's been a year now, and I was hired full time as an associate software engineer a few months ago, while still going to school. I'd say that interview a year ago worked out for me.2 -
Friend: Is this Nvidia GTX 440 a good graphics card?
Me: idk
Friend: if i get it how do i put it in my computer
Me: idk
Friend: but you are a programmer
Me: exactly, i am not an engineer9 -
How do I really explain to people that I am a computer engineer and not a technician? Seriously. I'm tired of it.
And what is worse, everytime I try someone ends up with the impression that I am some incompetent egomaniac trying to hide his flaws.4 -
I want a developer job so baaaddd :( !!! My city sucks for technology jobs. And the few jobs open want 50+ years of experience 😫9
-
So what would you class yourselves as:-
A) Developer
B) Software Developer
C) Software Engineer
D) Programmer
I go with with Software Engineer. This for me sounds complete for what I do. What do you guys think and why?40 -
DevOps Engineer - Entire position exists primarily because Developers don't want to write YAML files8
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$5.625/hour.
Thats the offer.
$5.625/hour.
Thats $900/month.
To work as a:
- devops engineer
Then also as a:
- backend java engineer
And now also as a:
- .NET engineer too
Due to inflation the food and all the bills and expenses in my bullshit country is $800-900/month and increasing.
This salary is not for living.
This salary is for survival.
Do you think
It is
MORAL
To earn salary
Working 2 or 3 dev jobs as 1 person
As a backend/devops software engineer
With computer science degree
In todays economy
In todays inflation
?23 -
PSA to all non-software engineers:
Hacker instanceof SoftwareEngineer && !(SoftwareEngineer instanceof Hacker)
Please, next time I say I am a software engineer, do not assume I can magically hack the FBI nor can I get those nude pics off your friend's phone.3 -
How common is it for development job applicants to lie about their skillsets and experience?
Had an applicant come interview for a senior software engineer role, has been in the same company for 8 years and his resume is sprayed with almost every tech speciality and language there is, claims to be proficient in 8+ languages, done AWS server migrations, built CI/CD pipelines from scratch, written CloudFormation scripts, built microservices, worked with AWS services and serverless platforms, has managed a team, does salary and performance reviews
My gut feeling is when someone claims to have knowledge and experience across multiple specialities, they’re skills in any of those domains are only skin deep8 -
Family expectations from an engineer in India:
Go fix the ceiling fan, it's very slow these days.
😖1 -
What’s the difference between a coder, programmer, developer and a software engineer? I see many people who attend a 2 month coding bootcamp where they learn html, css, javascript and put software engineer in their title9
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I am a scientist. A computer scientist.
I am an engineer. A software engineer.
My lack of a formal college degree does not negate these facts.
It does, however, contribute to the chip on my shoulder.2 -
Being a computer science engineer, my friends expect me to be able to read binary like I read English. Fml.5
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As a senior engineer/team lead. What would you do if you had an engineer on your team who is very difficult and arrogant but very good at their job?13
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Sprint 0: This design is the appropriate amount of engineering abstraction.
Sprint 2: This is over-engineered, too much work
Sprint 5: This is under-engineered, too many edge cases
Sprint 10: This is over-engineered, component Foo could be replaced by a bash script
Sprint 42: Foo is now the cornerstone of half our business logic2 -
I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"
I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.4 -
So let me get this straight... You want a Junior Engineer with experience?
Source: Moviepass Jobs.5 -
1. When i was 11 years old i came across a trojan horse program and i sent it to all my school friends to get their messenger password.
(I had a list of passwords of all the people in my class... dont worry, i didnt even used the passwords, i just stored them in my list lol)
2. Took data structures 10 years later, hated it and switched to electrical eng
3. I was working on a manufacturing plant as the lead engineer and one of my prototypes was misbehaving and i was blaming software and software was blaming me...typical stuff... So i said "im going to get a masters is software so i can know wtf you are talking about, and tell you that you are wrong😠!!"
Got in school, started in the masters and quit that place i was working for 🤣.. (they were shitty people and unethical business... fyi)
Now im back to where i was was when i was 11... (minus the hacking email accounts of my classmates)4 -
If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore(Silicon valley of India), chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.
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I haven't got tape to prevent my dinner from opening, but hey... trust me, I'm (almost) engineer 😏3
-
Started learning Python from Java, C#, Objective-C, Swift.
It’s like Rocket Engineer who have to build a car. It’s easy but you have to learn almost everything from the beginning.6 -
These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:
1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.
2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)
3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.
4. Programmers who discourage new developers.
5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)
6. Programmers who compare me with others.
7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).13 -
When you decide to take a brake from coding and open reddit to laugh a little, then suddenly your adderall kicks in along with your 3rd cup of coffee and then realize 4 hours have gone by and you have not done shit but laugh at memes.... 🤦🏼♀️4
-
My friend learnt how to use CircleCI for his laravel projects and he hasn't given me a breathing space since, he's constantly saying "I'm now a DevOps engineer".
I told him "You're only only a BugOps engineer". 😂😂 -
How to spot the difference between a tech enthusiast and an actual Programmer/Engineer in 2019?
Tech Enthusiast: I'm really excited about the New X, it's going to be the fastest machine in the market. It's got gimmick feature A, gimmick feature B, actual feature A ......
Programmer/Engineer: So I bought this 8-year-old Thinkpad from eBay yesterday, wifi isn't working but I could just buy an off-market wifi card and fix it. Might also replace the old HDD with a new SSD. Would probably start using it as my daily driver once it's fixed.4 -
If you ask a scientist what pi is, he'll tell you it equals 3.14159..
If you ask a mathematician, he'll tell you pi equals the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter..
If you ask an engineer, he'll say "Pi? Well, it's about 3, but we'll call it 4 just to be safe.."
But if you ask a kid, he’ll ask if he can have ice cream with it...!7 -
family/neighbour: you are engineer?
me: Yes, but software engineer
family/neighbour: can u fix my tv or iron -
Software Engineer
Nerdious Geekius
The elusive Software Engineer is a nocturnal creature, rarely found at their desks before 10 or 11 in the morning, but often staying late into the night. They dislike being interrupted while at work, and it theorized that their penchant for twilight hours is an evolutionary adaptation to reduce breaks in their trance like state of coding.
Not surprisingly, Software Engineers are solitary creatures, except for occasional gatherings called "code reviews". In these gatherings, engineers gently pace around a clearing, sizing up each others work. Although occasional battles will erupt, they mostly end without injury and the engineer will retreat to their desk and continue to hibernate.
Fun Fact: Software Engineers have been know to kill each other in brutal fights over identation styles -
Me: So I'm going to study CS.
Dad: Are you going to be an engineer?
Me: Well I'll be a software engineer!
Dad: ???
Me: I'll write software for computers.
Dad: So you're not going to really be an engineer? So you are going to waste your life on those stupid computers... What did I do wrong.
😑😑😑 -
I am living my dream.
I have a nice fam, enough capital, a job I enjoy, I'm enjoying the life in this world every day now. And yesterday I caught myself in a moment that 10 years ago I thought only happens in movies. An engineer participating in a meeting with the client while riding on a motorcycle.
I mean, how cool is that! It may not seem like much now, because it was a necessity - I had to be at 2 places at once. But a 10 years younger me would wet his pants if he knew I would one day be doing that IRL.
How about you? How would a 10 years younger you feel about the _now_ you?4 -
If you're a "software engineer" with 10+ years of experience, but you've never written a unit test.... you're just a script kiddie with no right to call yourself a "software engineer".9
-
What's up with recent Bootcamp grads putting themselves as "full stack engineer"s or "software engineer"s on LinkedIn when they haven't even had their first job yet? They build two projects and they think they are already engineers with zero relative job experience?
I don't get it.17 -
Am I Data Engineer or Software Development Engineer ?
I design the infrastructure for analytics data, and I build the infra entirely including an development. Except making reports out of the data.
What I'm supposed to be called ?
Data Engineer ?
Software Development Engineer ?
Definitely not an Data Scientist. Official designation given by company is Data Engineer II. But what I'm ?
Confused, someone help me please.5 -
Ideally
UX designer:
User oriented, design stuff that fullfill actual needs of user
Engineer:
Focus on utility, how to execute designer's desin
Reality
UX designer:
Personal oriented, design stuff that "they" think user will prefer. End up design some unrealistic functions.
Engineer:
Working overtime to fullfil designers' fantasy thought -
My company just hired an older coworker that uses a flip phone 😳
Idk wether to be concerned or scared ..... 😩15 -
Imagine this: You're a DevOps engineer or SW Engineer at StackOverFlow.
Plot: Stackoverflow is down, you can't search for the solution cause Stackoverflow is down.
Question : Is it just to consider this as a recursive problem?17 -
Side effect After working several years as support engineer, I hear SMTP when someone calls Lakshmipathy1
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Sr Engineer says "I'm not sure how this project is deployed".
You're a software engineer. You solve problems all day long. This particular engineer has worked here for several years and is well aware of the fact that we use Gitlab to run deploys.. If you want to know how it's deployed... look at the pipeline definition...
I don't understand how people, especially those with several years experience with our stack, can't solve basic problems on their own.2 -
When I say I'm in "DevOps" what I really mean is that I'm a full-stack engineer, DBA, system administrator, security engineer, auditor, cloud custodian, cost optimization expert, and everything else that doesn't get its own dedicated staff member here. Pretty much the catch all between developers and customer.
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The intern beside me just called me to solve an error in PHP.
He wrote:
for($slides as $s){
}
The PHP error message wasn't quite clear:
Fatal error: expected ';' on line 84
How could possibly an intern who's becoming an engineer in IT make such mistake and lose like 1h on an error like that? I even attends one of the best universities in the country
PS:
I know engineers aren't supposed to code, but he's been coding for the past month in PHP and was here just to do that16 -
Coworker (junior engineer): "He's a principal engineer, and damn good at his job because he works all night long. You're still lead engineer because you don't work late at night."
Flak I get for *not* being able to stay up after 10:30pm. 😥7 -
I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4 -
Just finished fourth interview with a company (fuck me) for a solutions engineer position (I am a self taught dev that is transitioning to technical roles from a pretty "soft" background with the hope of being in a software engineer role within three years). Anyone have any experience with the solutions engineer role and some advice about it? Note: this IS an invitation to rant about solutions engineers so I know what NOT to do.4
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Are there any official definitions for the terms Software Developer and Software Engineer? Today a friend told me He got a raise and he's now a software engineer and no longer "just" a software developer (still at the same company).
To him and me that sounds like bullshit bingo at its best. His tasks and responsibilities will still be the same after the change of his job title.
So I'm wondering whether anyone here knows of some objectively defined distinctions between the two job titles. To me and my friend those are just the same. I never even thought anyone would make a distinction between the two4 -
This is something I saw on Twitter. I find this is a really good question.
What makes a senior software engineer stand out from a software engineer ?6 -
Hi fellow devs,
I just got hired as Associate Software Engineer. Any tips/advice on my first day? Btw this is my first professional work.6 -
Why all these SW engineer interviews include 2 days of questions about sophisticated algorithms which i have never (and probably will never) have chance to even reuse, because they are NOT simple & understandable for any project community? IMO It is like asking to show Assembler skills on frontend-dev interview...4
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Everyone has these swank job titles now. VP, Principal Something-Something Architect. I'm sorta jealous.
I'm just a "Software Engineer" (I think?) at 23 years in. Actually, I have no idea what my title is, so I just say "Software Engineer".4 -
So I started work as a software developer during college, and the people there were really nice to me and endured my constant absence from work because of college stuff.
Now that I graduated, I got an offer as a software engineer for 1.5 times the salary I currently have.
Should I take this job and forget what the people at my current work did for me?4 -
I'm a bit frustrated. I'm 23 and I finished a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Engineering last 2015. Working on a career path in cyber security. Is it normal to just understand and test the concepts and not fully memorize everything? It really bothers me that I feel I don't know anything despite developing small tools, testing other people's work, reading about related topics and playing with Kali.5
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After investing 5 years in tech support, side by side i was learning devops, and as a result I transitioned to DevOps Engineer role. What suggestions or tech stack I should master to survive in the DevOps industry going forward?6
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Hey all, got my first job as a self-taught developer at the age of 20.
Designation: Software Engineer
Would love to read your journey of getting your first job as a software engineer.1 -
Admittedly as an engineer my SQL knowledge is minimal and I develop database driven web applications on a daily basis. Most programming languages have object-relational-mappers that handle things for me. I have a unified object store with easy querying and SQL is handled form me. You don’t have to be an expert in every technology to be an engineer.rant engineer orm sql engineering software development object oriented programming software engineering database8
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When dealing with people that think the IT helpdesk solves all problems with custom software they didn't build or use.. and the helpdesk of the software sucks (long waiting times, almost impossible to get the right guy,..)
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Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior tech lead
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior tech lead
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior tech lead
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Open job position: senior engineer
Has it became illegal to put a junior/medior job in 2023?20 -
deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
Why is it so that I have 8 hours to work, but find myself to only be productive in the last 2 hours... I find it difficult to work in the mornings, to much chaos up in my head.
I'll loose the job if I continue so, any tips?3 -
Another parents' story
Father was calculating how much fuel he needs then looked at me and said: "is that correct?"1 -
Is there a real difference between software engineer vs software developer vs programmer? Or is it just terminology?9
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How can i know if im ready for a devops engineer position? What is all the bullshit that i need to know to be devops engineer? Lets aim high and talk about senior position14
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Hello
I had a question about how much I want to be paid from an interview
I need to know how much I should be payed
I am in end of my IT engineer degree and I am applying for a back-end developer position in Prague
Thanks!11 -
I’m always the youngest one out of every engineer in the company. I don’t know, it feels weird. I’m partially proud of myself, but I don’t know what to think of it. I look way older thanks to my genetic hemoglobin shortage aka anemia, so that helps. I never tell my real age to other colleagues, haha.
Anyways, don’t know what I wanted to tell with this random “rant”, but I guess that’s that.
If anyone relates to this, let’s talk.7 -
Things you can do because you an electronics engineer: hook up 12V supply to 9V device and cry it doesn't work
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I've noticed from the many pics of workspaces that software guys tend to be neat, tidy and ordered. The mechanical design engineers at work are messy
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On vacation, but still can't think of something else than programming. All the solutions that I want to try and so on. For that reason I left my laptop at home, don't regret 👌2
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What's the best laptop for coding and programming. Especially for software engineering, fullstack development and making android apps etc. I want it to be able to develop anything on it apps games websites etc. Suggest a budget model and a price doesn't matter but still realistic model.6
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What is your main responsibility as a Senior Engineer? Let say Senior software engineer or Senior Devops or Senior Data Engineer?
I need some references to put in my onboarding task. Thanks!!5 -
You are an eletronics engineer --> you can fix my TV set then...
You are a computer engineer -> you can fix my my Windows laptop...
Life is tough for tech oriented people.... -
So this software student is wondering if the masters on this app know about a good project during summer that I could collaborate virtually and get some experience?
I am interested in app development, web dev, really like SQL too, but any other subject would do.
Sorry if this question was asked before but I cant seem to find one, and I dont know when to even start.
No internships where i live :/4 -
I know you think you understand what I said , but what you don't understand is what I said is not what i mean😵😵😵😵1
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People's opinions requested. What is the difference between a 'software engineer' and a 'software developer'?4
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So, I'm an engineer who believes that there isn't one solution that fits all (feel free to change my mind). I believe 100%, that a great engineer is someone who also encompasses the ability to make decisions appropriately on tools, paradigms, etc to solve any problem.
But, this rant is going out to the TDD fanatics.
I assume every piece or lines of code you write is/are towards solving a problem and it includes the code you write to test the "main" code you are about to write 😑
Question: Do you write a test to test the test you write to test the code you about to write? 😏7 -
Answering non techie people what my job is. I could say I'm a software engineer, and they would understand because it has the word "engineer". But i prefer to introduce myself as a developer but they give me a confused look.
I think engineer is an overused term and i hate that term, for me, connected to typical asian patents who forces their kids to be an engineer or doctor. -
When a non-engineer constantly interrupts your coding work to tell you something that isn't urgent2
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what is a Go Engineer? I hope it means a golang engineer? I can't find a job description for it. cause I love Go and I want this as a job.....Hopefully1
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I'm currently applying for an engineer role. The role is reasonably agnostic regarding specific skills which suits me well because I have a wide base and I like diversity, however they have said they are after more Java developers. Whilst I have programmed in Java and worked on Java projects I wouldn't claim any proficiency beyond amateur.
What sort of things should I really know about if the tech interview brings up Java questions? I'm not expecting them to but it would be foolish not to prepare for that eventuality. -
A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is that question?
So, which platform are you working on?1 -
I recently got promoted to "Senior Software Engineer", but plan on leaving my company in the next few months. Should I put this new title on my resume or keep it as "Software Engineer"?
There are no new responsibilities with the new title.2 -
Software Engineer in a small firm vs Technical Support Engineer in quite a popular big firm.
Btw I love development. What should I choose and what should be my thought process?3 -
what is it like to be a staff software engineer, or an engineer at some L5/L6 level ?
can a company have multiple staff software engineers in 1/many domains? like, a guy doing ios app dev for a company for long time, would probably reach till SDE2/SDE3, etc , but why would they be given a role of staff software engineer?
isn't a staff s/w engineer supposed to know the whole system and not just a single part of it?8 -
My company levels seem a little weird. Is it only me that think they seem a little weird? Associate Software Engineer -> Staff Software Engineer-> software Engineer -> Senior Engineer -> Lead Software Engineer.1
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Is there a big difference between being and Engineer 3 or an Engineer 2 or 1? At what point of time should you ask if you can be promoted to a higher Engineer level?16
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The one week guide to asserting workplace dominance as a software engineer.
https://medium.com/feature-creep/...1 -
There is a University in Karnataka, India called VTU, whose exam paper re-evaluation fee costs more than the exam fees, moreover they'll fail you to make money.
Syllabus remains outdated from a decade or two. You'll be considered great if you managed to mugup the stuff for exams to take ranks.
If anyone relies on it's syllabus, then it's decided that they're gonna be the donkey among whom it produces every year.
You'll only become a true engineer if you realise this truth and seek the real educational resources online.
I saved myself by dropping off the college an year ago, which was the best thing I've ever done. I can make as many projects I can (fullstack web).
I'm here to find out, are there any successful VTU drop-outs out there? or am I alone (maybe successful in future).....5 -
There was a good old barber in Mumbai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber. He again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut. -
Is it possible for someone to stay as an individual contributor forever? Particularly for a back-end engineer or a data engineer?
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Hey Everyone, Can anyone suggest me which profile pays better between a software engineer and cloud engineer. According to this post https://interviewbit.com/blog/... software engineers get 0.8M per year and cloud engineers get Rs 7,51,756 per annum. Is it correct?
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I want to add Python programmers engineer , SQL Server engineer, machine learning engineer on my social media like Instagram , Snapchat , LinkedIn , WhatsApp etc . To know about better understanding of these languages and their concepts and explore more in engineering field . Plz comments your I'd and be my mentor .
Your friend ,
Degel(Rahul Vishwas)2