Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
The ability to convince the compiler that there's no errors.
"Shhhhhh.. trust me, there's such things as a duoble. Now just tell me the build was successful"2 -
The ability to smack people everywhere around the world the second they think of creating another JS library2
-
An ability to port all Windows games to Linux without performance loss due to bad ports and bad drivers so I won't have to dual boot anymore.5
-
My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!6 -
If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.
11 -
The power to port any game i want to linux, so i can finally ditch windows :D
#ShutUpAndTakeMySoulQB6 -
My superpower:
The ability to work on huge, complex projects/features without ever getting burned out.
In lieu of that, foregoing the need to sleep! -
Wk54
If I were to code a unknown thing to man, I would probably code a time travelling machine. Dont ask, how it works xD8 -
Being able to drink coffee (nope no decaf) including espresso's without my heart complaining. Idk that taste always gives me a boost!15
-
Give everyone the ability to intuitively grasp the concept of unix timestamps.
No more timezones or DST, no more confusion about formats.7 -
1. Understand APIs without reading documentation.
2. Write correct code from first try.
3. Know to program in every language.
4. Create the perfect fully functional AI system.
5. Center objects vertically with one line CSS at target object.3 -
Why, the best superpower of them all... The ability to materialize coffee based drinks from thin air.2
-
Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..
-
Shadow clones like Naruto. Would be able to have jobs, do personal projects, learn things, and have a social life.
(Recurring dream)3 -
My superpower would be the ability to split myself into multiple copies of myself so that I could function as an entire dev company on my own whilst learning the skills to do so without downtime because a copy of you could sleep while another works.
Of course the copies would share their knowledge and can merge back when needed9 -
The ability to look at uncommented legacy code and read the thoughts of the developer when he wrote it
(seriously, comment your shit!) -
I want my super power to be 'not give a fuck' because I have almost perfected this super power, (I don't give a fuck about your thoughts mr customer, mr project manager your collective ideas are turd and I don't have enough polish and glitter left in my drawer to make this turd shine)
-
Time Travel.
Go and steal great ideas, computers, mobile devices, software etc from the future.
Then sell it for a shitton of money in the 90's -
Time travel. Because i can see the errors i willhave before even writong the code. And...(tou will see it in week 56)1
-
The power to make windows open source. O;)....cuz we all know that the community would do a better job at making sure it's secure xD7
-
What a cool question... um
My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't. -
The ability to start my projects and finish them.
Like for real I have a bazillion ideas yet none was even started, and the few exceptions that were started are unfinished...1 -
To be able to convince an offering manager that his / her opinions don't always match what our customers want
-
The abillity to mute clients who use IE8.
<!--[if IE 8]> <style>
.client {
display:none!important;
}</style> <![endif]-->3 -
Immortality, but like the good kind where you stop aging. Because i could learn so much stuff in all that time and tbh who wants to die5
-
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
To instantly know *exactly* what caused a compiler or runtime error and *exactly* how to fix it in the best possible way, every single time.2
-
Automatically clean up code, removing redundant and duplicate bits, splitting large functions, and formatting it nicely. Especially useful when trying to understand some garbage code someone else wrote which you need to rewrite.2
-
A power to convince my manager of the stuff or time I need to develop and why isn't most things "just an hour's job"!1
-
When I slap the side of the machine to fix it that it would actually work...every time, without fail.
-
I would want the super power to program myself and automate tasks, working out, talking to people, ruling a small third world country.1
-
If I had a dev superpower, it'd be to put myself in the exact mindset of the author of the code I read, at will, so even the comments that never got written would be understood.
I would learn so much, about code && people!1 -
Ahem id like two superpowers please ,
Then first one would be to telepathically nerf down parasitic ideas instantly, I could actually be the next superman if I had this.. Could save a lot of lives in the developer realm.
The second one is the power to instantly fix any kernel / driver / boot problem and make everything compatible with Linux2 -
Become a node on the Internet. IOM - Internet of Me.
1) Write complete systems in my head. Store them in my brain and upload when complete.
2) Provide users access to my brain systems and memories.
If I find a brain implant to do this I will send you the IP. -
knowing what an api does and which arguments it expects just by looking at it...it would safe so much time for me esspessialy when i haven't used the api or language in a while2
-
Create wanna cry targeting only Linux users.😂😂. so that Linux users appreciate why some people prefer windows it's there choice let them be.2
-
Be able to understand how to use a framework/library without reading a thousand documentation-less outdated "examples"
-
I would cause intense pain to any project manager that calls a useless meeting that could have been avoided if they had read the fucking status emails I send.
-
The ability to sudo kill all the idiots that point a deprecated function to another deprecated funtion that points to a deprecated function. Smh.
-
Never ever have to sleep, eat, shit, piss anything like that. Every damn time I do that I loose the focus/idea I had when I started.
-
The ability to ssh to an Earth terminal.
chown -R sionc /socialmedia/facebook
chown -R sionc /alphabet
I would then have the resources to do way bigger projects. Elon Musk can keep his businesses though. I like Elon Musk.
I'd maybe chown my company too, just for fun.
I'd ping my fiancé everytime she goes in a mood and ignores me for half an hour. She'd have to respond and it would annoy her. :3
userdel could be used on the bad people. >:)
There's probably a whole list of these that I've not even thought of that I'll see people write in the comments. I'm pretty sure this could get dangerous.6 -
To find and be able to fully deliver one project with a multi-million dollar profit just for me so I can just retire already.
-
I'd learn everything I see
Reading books by just looking at the pages, done in 15 minutes? It would be awesome! -
I'd like the ability to convince my teammates to gradually work on a project rather than working obsessively on it the day before it's due. I don't like waiting for the last minute to get things done, I like finishing things early so I'm not stressing myself out.
-
Ability to stop time, it would give me enough time to finish my extra projects, catch up on my sleep, and always be finished ahead of schedule.
-
I fixed one problem we had at work with SSL over a year ago. Since then, whenever anyone has any problem vaguely to do with SSL, they come to me. The "expert". So I guess I'd like to become what I'm already perceived as... SSLman1
-
Editing rants i wrote more than five minutes past.
Edited on my Huawei P8 mini lite with dual sim slot, golden color with 32gb sdcard.2 -
I wish i have the power of controlling electronic stuff with my mind to rewrite their code with a single thought, just because it's fucking cool and i'll build my own army to conquer the entire world >;]
-
The ability to land freelance jobs which pay a realistic amount for the work..
Why? Because I'm officially in Vietnam babey!!!!! -
Freeze time with the computer I am sat on.
So when somebody says something can be done in an hour, they're usually correct -
If I had a Dev superpower, that would be: Never need to sleep.
Why? That would enable me to finish all my work in time! -
The communication skills to explain everything so easily that everyone can follow my thoughts... and the serenity if they can't (or don't want to)
-
It would be pretty awesome to create software directly with my mind. Just imagine the specs and *poof* there it is, without the need of actually typing the code down.
-
To know the most efficient datatypes, functions, etc, and syntax for whichever language and framework I'm currently using.
-
Excellent documentation of other people's inputs so I know where they are coming from to minimize surprises and miscommunications.
-
To know what people are thinking to better understand them, their reasoning and motives.
Quite a lot of the time facades are put in place and while i already see through them, would like to know what is really going on. -
I would abolish the idea of store loyalty cards. No point of sale would ever understand these invasions of privacy.
-
To have back all the hours between how long a project should take and how long it actually takes, and get paid for them, then retire and sledgehammer my computer, and do something less stressful.
-
Ooooh man, I wanted to tell this to someone but never got the chance.
If I could choose, I would get the ability to comprehend something just from seeing it one only time and never forget about it for the rest of my life. Instant learning anything and never forgetting? I can't think in something better than that.1 -
My super power would be....to code in a language thats far superior than any other
But i will be the only one that can understand and write it4 -
The ability to find the answer for a problem that i have that was asked 7 years ago by someone else and was never answered.
-
I guess I would have the power "whatwhy", which would allow me to understand the what and why of everything I encounter.
-
The ability to make developers improve existing libraries/frameworks wherever possible instead of creating new ones every time they encounter a 'Feature X does not exist in library Y' type of scenario.
-
Write code without thinking. Just think of the thing and everything just write itself. Work hard for like 5 years and have the money to lay it easy for the rest of my life....
Who dosnt want that... -
I'd bring back ActionScript 3, make sure it is supported in all environments including iPhones, make swf files lighter in size, make adobe air a popular platform, basically I'd do everything to bring back AS3, even make it open sourced, so that Adobe doesn't make all the money.
-
My dream dev-power would be to have a prescient warning with a couple years advance on what's the next interesting AND money-raking technology, so I will be already an expert just at start and I could even get a job at the sponsor company.
-
The ability to instantly figure out and understand a good architecture/structure of what i want to make so i can just... make it.
-
RegEx
i.e. be able to see a text and compose Re for it and vice versa, get a text and Re and see if they match... -
/* wk54 */
I would like to resolve the problems of my code while i am taking a nap.
Every time that i get stopped , i´ll take a nap and resolve it in my dreams. Then, when I wake up, the code will be clear and the solution it always work!.
ALL DAY NAPPING !! -
My dev superpower would be to grok interfaces and be able to easily explain, to anyone who asks, their function and purpose (in 140 characters or less).1
-
Repel people who think just because I did IT (and they skip the part to ask, what specifically in IT), I can fix their computers only and I'm of no use beyond that. Immediately they think "he is an IT guy maybe he can fix..." Vrooommm and they are no longer in my view
Magnetic repulsion like how Magneto pushed away Logan in "Days of Future Past" -
One thing I would really like to be able to do: always understand my own code.
Boy it irritates me when I forget to make proper documentation and have to loo back at some code I wrote days before. Knowing what I was thinking at that moment would be just great. -
I'd have the power to lint developer brains so they'd write clean code and I wouldn't spend so much time refactoring crap.2
-
Power to edit source code of body and make it a boxer body like Jake Gyllenhaal. Damn, that'd be amazing! 😎🤓
-
The power to make clients trust my code.
It's a vicious circle; I code, client doesn't trust my code, I make changes as a result which break the code and.... Stack overflow exception -
I'd love to have a hint for solving the problem every time, my frustration about the bug is almost the max, so I could stay way more concentrated for extremly shitty bugs.
-
I'd like to be able to travel back in time to ask the writer of legacy code whether they were taking drugs when they wrote it... #WouldExplainWhy
-
The mind of The Flash. You know, able to think quickly and fast. Then I can solve a lot problems in a nick of time, or learn a new concept or language quickly.
Yeah, that'll help me a lot.1 -
Superpower: write code which does what I intend it to do without a single compile or runtime error... Ever...
-
reading books, documentations and specifications within minutes and remember anything in it, so i can directly start on getting to work and know which solution might be the best without spending days in specs and doc. :)
-
To open any SO question and it to have a working answer because it would make things so much easier.
-
If I had dev superpowers I would build a program to do pair programming with you. When it spots a mistake it let's you know and shows the best possible solution you should be using instead. #keepOnDreaming
-
Looking into the future to see which features user actually use and which decisions really bite us in the ass.
Alternatively: Force Choke (for reasons). 🤗 -
Create an AI to defeat all the best players in different areas like what AlphaGo did with the best Go players.
-
The troll power to make other developers totally convinced that Prolog is the best language to implement anything in...
I will probably need an undo-power too...1 -
I would want the Super power that allows me to transfer all I learn or want to learn with a single touch.
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View