The ability to ssh to an Earth terminal.

chown -R sionc /socialmedia/facebook
chown -R sionc /alphabet

I would then have the resources to do way bigger projects. Elon Musk can keep his businesses though. I like Elon Musk.

I'd maybe chown my company too, just for fun.

I'd ping my fiancé everytime she goes in a mood and ignores me for half an hour. She'd have to respond and it would annoy her. :3

userdel could be used on the bad people. >:)

There's probably a whole list of these that I've not even thought of that I'll see people write in the comments. I'm pretty sure this could get dangerous.