Last day on my current job before switching to a new company.
I have 10 tasks on my "to finish before leaving" list.

Finished one task and showed it to my boss.

I now have 13 tasks on my "to finish before leaving" list.

Do you want to get people to quit? Because that's how you get people to quit.

Had a day with 5 hours of meetings.
Told my dissatisfaction to my superior, she understands.

I have a 7 hour meetings day today.

😔

Holy fucking cockgoblin!

If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".

Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.

I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!

Any devRanters at the Angular Connect in London the next days? 🍵

I'll be searching for ( :/ ) stickers!

function hackInProduction() {
// TODO: Fix this later
}

Gotta love Linux!

Wanted to install Arch on my Rasperry PI yesterday, but don't have a cardreader on my PC. Still had an SD with a different distro (RasPlex) lying around. Popped that in, connected power and ethernet only, looked up the default SSH credentials and got to a blinking terminal on my desktop PC.
Well, how am I gonna format my microSD? Rasplex comes without fdisk, and I booted it from the only microSD slot.
Well, here we go - Extracted arch to a usb thumb drive, chrooted into it, switched microSD cards, partitioned and formatted it from the USB-Arch, installed Arch on it, chrooted from Arch to Arch (😁), set up drivers, network and ssh access, rebooted to my why-the-hell-not distro.

Everything worked!

A university that teaches students
C++ without teaching an understanding of memory management is pointerless.

Yo, his palms are sweaty
knees weak, conscience heavy
There's commits on master already:
Your mom's spaghetti code

Really annoyed by the endless tabs vs spaces discussion.
From now on, I use 4 tabs as indentation.

Actual production code:

function isEmpty(val) {
return typeof val === 'undefined'
|| val === undefined
|| !(val !== undefined);
}

I'm starting to think the "infinite monkeys" metaphor is not a metaphor...

get david() { /* ... */ }

My favourite DJ, david getter!

When I write async code in ES7, I'm tempted to call my promises "chtulu", "messiah", "lastJudgement", etc.

async function doStuff() {
chtulu = someAsyncTask();
await chtulu;
}

The ability to look at uncommented legacy code and read the thoughts of the developer when he wrote it
(seriously, comment your shit!)

Your favourite comment?

My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.

Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?

When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.

Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.

The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".

Frontend dev for 10+ years here.

"We can't afford to hire you as a senior, so your job title will be 'Frontend Developer' and your tasks will carry less responsibility than expected from a senior"

One year in, team of 2 handling 3 projects.

After merging with the parent company, we got business cards, mine describe me as a "Senior Frontend UI Engineer".
"Well, our customers only trust seniors, otherwise we can't send you to them".

Meanwhile a former colleague earns >1000€ more a month.

Yeah, fuck you too bosses!

Visiting a psychotherapist is basically rubberduck debugging for non-developers 🦆

At Starbucks today, ordered a lactose free JavaScript Frappucino. The barista turned out to be a computer science student, I'm pretty sure he spat in my cup.