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Me: "I'll never be able to do this"
Me: "I suck at coding"
Me: "What am I even looking at"
Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"
Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"
Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."
Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."13 -
Yesterday I was downloading illegal movie from the Internet and found this movie under comedy section and thought to download. After downloading I found out that it was a girl-to-girl porn.
Dear Developers and Content editors
Do your fucken job right and link the correct files.
Thank you.
PS: I enjoyed the porn10 -
Internet bashing, lol
(I don't have this in my Comic app so can't show the whole comic here, just the first slide)
http://webtoons.com/en/comedy/...
2 -
Inspired by "Standup comedy on spreadsheet" created the following in python ft MrRobot 😉. The zoomed in vs the zoomed out pic. Thus screens are just a spreadsheet of rgb colors.. 😃
3 -
This is not facebook, but somehow yhis site has attracted who are virtually, mentally incapable of differentiating between their script kiddy hacker facebook group and anything that can be called a social media platform.
Sorting by recent and daring to toggle on jokes/memes is a pure shitshow of freshly created accounts who post "memes" of the same purity as their mother. And to finish it off they add that super relatable comment "hahah", "funny" and a couple of emojis. Totally makes me wonder if I end up being called comedy god for posting "peepee poopoo" on the site they "shared" it from.
Yes, shared and not stolen for the sake of that little dopamine rush when they see that 4 other people who try to escape their shitty form of reality thought you deserve to be proud for those couple of finger movements you used to put this on devrant and not to jack off.
Not even that spares you from their awful humor, because thanks to their disability to red, they think they can just smash that big red button and post their garbage in the wrong category, yet somehow they have the obligation to add an absurd amount of tags telling you that they've tried to post a joke and I honestly feel sorry for the database table who has to store so variations of "jokes/meme" for this shit.
Thr quality of these memes degrades with each time I open devrant, just like my patience for these shitposters.
I've seen a couple of people who cancled their monthly subscription for devrant, to show their discontent with these user and my urge to do the same has gotten stronger recently.
DevRant as it is right now is on it best way to stray away further from what it meant to be every day12 -
Recap: https://www.devrant.io/rants/878300
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"yep"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4 -
Something I refer to as the "Lost Cause Syndrome".
Basically you start working on a project enthusiastically with the resolution to write the best possible code. But either one (or some or all) of management, client and colleagues succeed in transforming the project into a comedy (or tragedy, depending on your outlook) of errors.
Then finally, one day you decide that the project is a lost cause and stop caring about it. You end up in a "Let's get this over with and get out of here" type of mindset without making any efforts to improve the situation.3 -
My god, the managers don't even know their credentials to the Bitbucket account that THEY created!!!
🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡
Let's just hope they're not locked out for good... now THAT would be some grade-A comedy!1 -
So, today's comedy job story (and how depressive things become), and it's only 9:30.
Stressed PM assaults me at 8 to tell me what I have to do, standing next to me and dictacting stuff she wants done. Hate that.
As I went to a colleague to help her out with these fucking presentations (she "couldn't open them"), as I just arrived to her office my phone rings.
It's my PM. I'm 20m away, she calls me. Ok.
Me: "Yes?"
PM: "Hey Phlisg, erm, we are stuck in a conference room, can you come and open the door?"
Me: "Erm, the door has no handle, can't help"
PM: "Can you call the "housekeeper"?"
Me: "Sure" (why the hell doesn't she have his number...)
I go downstairs, go towards the conference room, and before the door there is the reception office. I ask the colleagues in there if the "housekeeper" is here, but they instead produced the handle from their drawers, and went to the door to open it.
At the same time, a person locked inside the conference room went through the window to go round and try to open the door.
Door successfully opened by colleague with handle.
I mean...
WHAT
THE
FUCK!
You have a problem? One reflex: call Phlisg. She might call me at 2 am in the morning because she cannot sleep or something.
Pissed!!13 -
Someone should really keep all the funniest rants and do a standup comedy. I laugh here more than watching a comedian on comedy central.4
-
So I built one of them Auto GPTs using Open Assistant and Python.
Essentially I have two chat rooms with each representing a different agent and some python written to facilitate the api communication and share messages between those two. Each agent is primed with a simple personality description, expected output format and a goal. I used almost identical inputs for both.
It boils down to "You are an expert AI system called Bot1 created to build a simple RPG videogame in python using pygame."
So anyway, I made that, and let it run for a couple of iterations and the results are just stunning, but not for the reasons you might expect. The short story is that they both turned into project managers discussing everything and anything *except* the actual game or game ideas and in the end they didn't produce a single line of code, but they did manage to make sure the project is agile and has enough documentation xD.
Presumably I need to tinker around with their personalities more and specify more well defined goals for this to lead to anything even remotely useful, but that's besides the point. I just thought others might find the actual conversation as funny as I did and wanted to share the output.
Here's a pastebin of the absolute madness they went through: https://pastebin.com/0Eq44k6D
PS: I don't expect anyone to read the whole thing word for word. Just scroll to a random point and check out the general conversation while keeping in mind that not a single line of code was developed throughout the entire thing8 -
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
The ones who use it, what do you like or value about Linux? Why do you use it?
Before I answer, let me say that I am a noob compared to the rest of this community. I run Ubuntu because Arch was too complicated when I tried and bash scripts equal to frustrations for me. That's my knowledge level.
- I don't feel "observed" when using a Linux distro compared to Windows and macOS.
- Feel more connected to the open source thought and the free spirit.
- Feel like I can do anything I want. Learning new programming languages easily, trying out web servers, try and setup own website or mail server etc.
- Everything is accessible. Read something cool about docker? ALT+T to open a terminal and start up a docker container to try out.
- No Internet browsing for software, like googling "Firefox download english".
- Sometimes forces me to learn about the workings of a computer, like networks, servers, routing, firewalls, bootup sequence etc.
- So many great command line tools. Want to find out quickly who owns a website? Want to query a specific DNS server? All possible within 5 seconds!
All in all using Linux feels like watching a documentary while using Windows is more like watching a dumb comedy show where I can turn my brain off, but get more stupid after a while.6 -
Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What -
Subscribed to CBS all access just for Picard and Lower Decks. Made the mistake of clicking on the Comedy Central icon by accident.
Two minutes later: email ad in my inbox advertising the Daily Show and Comedy Central.
Fuck you CBS. Double fuck you Viacom.4 -
People that comment random subreddits on platforms other than reddit, such as r/whoosh, are the bottom feeders of comedy and are definitely mouth breathers. Probably have a smooth brain too.
That shit's lame asf and not funny at all.13 -
TV Show 'Loaded' premieres tonight. Four friends sell their app to a big company. Comedy tonight at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Probably not in the league of Silicon but might be worth a look.1
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Forgot to drink water? Focus loss.
Forgot to write microtasks? Focus loss.
Didn't wear trousers when it's cold? Focus loss.
Forgot to meditate? Focus loss.
Forgot to think about how I feel? Focus loss.
Forgot to eat? Focus loss.
Didn't exercise? Focus loss.
Assumed that little pain in my ribs is cancer? Focus loss.
Got annoyed by something my boss said? Focus loss.
Did I forget to listen to instrumental music instead of stand up comedy? Focus loss.
Can't find instrumental music that I like and didn't listen too many times? Focus loss.
Did I sleep too little? Focus loss.
Everything is a pitfall. I am a goddamn house of cards.12 -
The Halt and Catch Fire writers and tech experts must have lived those days. Totally nailed it to the finest detail. I am impressed. Show me a 10mg (how will I ever fill it up) Bernoulli platter 😀
Great series but warning it is not a comedy like Silicon. Very different but amazing how some things are same as today in concept.7 -
I think I am going to start doing lets play series for minecraft and post online. I spend a lot of time playing modpacks with my kids and I should just start recording and add audio commentary later. I can compress the video and do speedups for boring parts and cut other segments. If I create a spreadsheet for the modpack and do it by numbers then I can burn through the modpack fast. I like watching lets play series to figure out modpacks. Especially direwolf. However, these lets play episodes are a good 30 to 45 minutes long. I want to play, not watch someone else play. I hate the ones where they don't know how to do the modpack and they don't cut the video. Direwolf does a great job editing his videos. His video is FULL of good content.
If I can get the videos short enough it will keep the attention span of the mass plebes that cannot find their way out of a paper bag. This is definitely catering to the lowest denominator. I can turn my hobby into something useful. I want to try and compress the 30 minute video into 5 to 10 minutes. It will be a minecraft junky playthrough. Maybe add some time lapse stuff too.
I think I should do the playthrough first, reset server and do again with video capture. I want to incorporate comedy into the videos too. Gaming should be fun. I wonder how much space a 30 minutes video will take?6 -
I just remembered... when I first read this guess who I was thinking off?
http://webtoons.com/en/comedy/...
4 -
So I went to take a look at Mozilla's "privacy not included" guide.
That's some good comedy right there, fucking rubber ducks that spy on you.
Jesus fucking christ -
Now that my math posts have failed to garner the anger they formerly did, we here at Wisecrack Studios, like all teams of people completely out of ideas, have come up with a brilliant never-before-tried concept to bring fresh shitposts to your pocket-telescreen this fine year of 2020.
We present to you the DevRant shitposter census!
Yes we pride ourselves in our quality bait and bullshit here at WS. Founded in [previous year a long long time ago], we focus on craftmanship, tradition, and doing it right. Our bait is loved the world over for "it's fresh flavor", "so good, it's like you're abusing heroin right along with the company employees!'
And now, you too get to participate and choose your very own bullshit!
You could say we may have invented a totally new word just to describe it: crowdsourcing!
Isn't it just *brilliant*.
Here is Wisecrack's "Private Select" census, of only the most choice *premium* finely-aged shitpost ideas for this [current year].
Please, please, one vote per customer!
* Moar javascript shitposts (no we won't be doing any more, even WE are tired of js rants).
* Overly pixelated memes (obviously not) blatantly ripped and automatically uploaded via shitty selenium scripts
* Real life hijinxs, trolling shitty companies hiring processes for fun at their expense!
* DevRantCon now with 100% more orgies. Reserve your kickstarter ticket today.
* Disappointing vaporware announcements that take ten minutes to read and build your excitement up only to crush it before your very eyes like a child's first lego build in the hands of an angry nd merciless andre the giant disappointed by the craftmanship of a five year old.
* A livestream of a monkey on an actual typewriter, with a btc betting pool each time an actual word is typed, along with a $5 "shock the monkey" button to spice things up a bit
(our lawyers are informing us this may or may not be illegal in some or all nations. We'll get back to you when sealand responds with our request about their laws on unnecessary animal cruelty. )
* Video conference with devrants creators where we all play "I've never" that doesn't end until at least one person passes out black drunk.
* Weekly comedy write ups with jokes (not obviously) blatantly stolen from cards against humanity
* HipsterRants: why your favorite [thing - game, music, movie, book] sucks, and why I hate you for liking it.
* Did we mention javascript rants?
* Cool new projects by devranters and our merciless breakdown of why each one is pure, unadulterated shit, everything that was done wrong, and why you should personally be ashamed for using it.
* SadRants: cancer, meth abuse, homelessness, how we'll all die at the end, and how the sun will one day turn into a giant ball of fire that will consume the earth and leave no trace that anyone ever existed, and nothing we do will ultimately matter.
* HappyRants: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh yeah, you feeling it now mr krabs?
* Technical breakdowns that are completely wrong, utterly incompetent, intentionally misleading, and wildly upvoted by people who are unfamiliar.
Vote for your favorite topic/idea today! or even submit your own for our 'consideration'!
Clickbait, now in technicolor!8 -
It's 3 years old but for any of you who hasn't seen "The Expert"..
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg
Still the closest thing resembling my corporate life 🤣3 -
!dev related
"Ah! Ah! Ah! AL QUEDA!!"
The opening theme song to the soon-to-be-a-hit docuromance-cum-comedy-on-ice, called "kidnapped-and-brainwashed in egypt: berry barrows story, starring samantha kaffir the isis headchopper, as herself."
Written by Adam sandler.
I wonder if the mods ever think I just write these posts to see the most unusual combination of tags possible.
There has to be orphan tags out there, tags associated with only a single post. Like half of them are probably because of me.8 -
Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:
- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"
...
I could add thousand more things here.
I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...9 -
I'm literally in pain right now and not a thing I can do.
If I eat whatever the fuck is wrong with my jaw (cracked tooth or cavity) starts throbbing from the chewing action, in addition to coming on for no reason at all. vision-blurred-waves-of-nausea levels of pain. Enough that I'm alternating between laughter and almost tears.
I've downed four aspirin and it's still just barely enough WITH the numbing gel.
Got lock jaw something aweful.
Barely convinced a dentists office, which is supposed to be closed (and cancelled all it's appointments due to corona), to come in during quarantine. But thats monday. Dont kno how I'll make it. They do payment plans but I'm flat broke because I decided to pursue programming right when all this fucking bullshit went down.
And all I can think of while im typing this is the pain.
And fuck me I cant do weed because my backup plan if I fail at coding is the military.
And this stray dog that the neighbors 'adopted' but leave outside WONT STOP FUCKING BARKING.
Fuck me. Just kill me now. Do it.
Gonna go watch comedy because I read a research paper that says genuine laughter raises pain threshold by up to 10%.12 -
Light Ide:- GRHH!! M hurt! M hurt! My life is nothing...M a noob...
Dark ide:- woaahh!! Pleasant! M a pro coder
3 -
Creating a LinkedIn profile was a good decision. They send you hilarious job offers almost daily, even though I'm not even searching. Always a good laugh 😂
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Grandmas Boy! An epic gamer movie. A must watch comedy.
Have you seen it?
What is your favourite scene?
3 -
What is the smallest, most innocuous mistake you've made that had huge consequences later?
I'll start: today I made a one-letter typo in a configuration file, which set off a ridiculous comedy of errors that culminated with me tearing down and rebuilding a whole AWS account.1 -
While having dinner at my desk, I was watching a comedy video on YouTube. After the video finished, it went to another one in the que. Next thing I noticed that I ended up in "Penis Enlargement" video.
Why is YouTube so rude maybe because I use adblocker. -
Want an app to sell to investors?
All aboard the hype train.
Block chain.... Check
Machine learning...... Check
Pwa..... Check2 -
Got half my college calling me "Pennywise" cause I work at the "IT" department. Thanks Saturday Night Live!
-
Everyday standup is like a boring comedy movie...it is 2 hours long and you enjoy it everyday thanks to some interesting characters in the movie(standup)😂
And I am in the standup and ranting about it!!!1 -
So it's a French one related to kind of comedy act.
Interviewer: What can you bring to the company?
Me: An apple?
Interviewer: What?
Me: I don't think I can fit with the company mindset. Bye.
And I leave the building.
For me it was Epic! I'm still not sure she understood the reference, but still Epic.9 -
Social media is bad for your self image. When you look at LinkedIn, everybody is making super cool applications and sites everybody just loves!
My work is more of a collection of bad designs intended to inspire more belief in the oncoming failcascade that is the next client's marketing brainfart hoping for happenstance but being shattered on the impervious anvil of shattered hopes and dreams.
It's a shitshow, but at least I get to press all the buttons to advance the stupid plot of a bad comedy.1 -
!rant
How should I put this... I have REALLY enjoyed help desk job more than anything thus far.
I've seen people posting about how dumb clients may be, and I know there's also those cases, but ultimately those are usually just good inspiration to comedy.
So here's the background: I was working in growing website development company (marketing called it digi-office for some reason). The clients were firms ranging from local bakeries to international suppliers.
The intriguing thing with working in help desk was usually smaller tasks and direct customer contact through e-mail. I got feedback (which always important) and the rush of good feeling at the end of every task; faster and more frequent than working on a year project. But the cherry on the cake is that I got to investigate problems within each websites' and the CMS's code base, fix them or point out bigger flaws in systems and blame others from them. 😂
How your help desk experience differ? Or do you also recognize the good side?1 -
The life of every individual, viewed as a whole and in general, and when only its most significant features are emphasized, is really a tragedy; but gone through in detail it has the character of a comedy.4
-
I watched an episode of Brooklyn 99. Cop comedy show for those of you who don't know. They introduced me to the monty hall problem? My brain refuses to understand it and im rapidly losing my mind.
Has anyone here ever written a program that tests it? I can't read math theorems for shit. But I can read code. And I need my sanity back.2 -
Sooo I was working on an RPG game and I need some idea for the story. Should I make a kind of comedy game?3
-
Somewhat dev related (behavioral interview)? Just thought it was funny.
https://webtoons.com/en/comedy/... -
1. Pop breth mints to cover the smell of Jack in my coffee.
2. Headphones + NPR because my cube farm is loud AF and the owners idiot son sits right next to me watching YouTube comedy all day.
3. Check calander and commit log while VS loads our 100 project solution.
4. Get cracking -
I had registered for Machine Learning course in my university. It's a new course offered after looking at the subjects usage in industry.
The professor handling it ,have completely no idea ,and experience on ML., So yeah
His 1hour lecture is complete stand up comedy show for the students.
So, today he comes and says "ML is based on Probability", and explains probability, like for 8th grade students.
He put this question on the board, telling that ML revolves around concept requirements to solve this question.
Question:
Probability of getting sum of 7 or 11 when a pair of die is thrown?
Guess what, he tried to solve the question and got wrong answer.
I was highly interested in the course,since my project required it and thought it provide me great fundamentals, it's been 3 weeks I regret for opting it.😥 -
Friend of mine during workshops yesterday:
F: "Shit, my copying is broken (ctrl c shortcut)"
Me: "stack overflow down and/or broken copy/paste - worst nightmare"
F: "oh it works again... For a moment there i was afraid im gonna loose my job..."
* I guess the comedy of situation doesn't translate well to rant, but still, it was funny * -
I see that most of you hate influencers in Tech, so I created a comedy skit about it, and featured Theo in it.
Check it out here -> https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
What’s your favourite coding joke?
Mine is:
Why do programmers use dark mode?
Because light attracts the bugs!13 -
am i the only one who likes quoting Blazing Saddles in git commits?
most recent being adding mongo to a project.
-
If you're in for a good read this thread is comedy gold: https://gamedev.net/forums/topic/...
(the second page is where it starts getting amazing)2 -
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
Me: Moop
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.3 -
Old but gold. The Expert sketch A.K.A. how it feels to be a developer during a project meeting. https://youtube.com/watch/...
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https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
WATCH NOW THANK LATER. (It’s rubber duck related)
Sorry about the Facebook video4 -
Why did the Telco's POC turn into a comedy show?
Because expecting to fit two SaaS offerings into three ec2 dibbas , and ended up with a performance that was more of a stand-up routine! -
Javascript drama is a never ending horror. I was building an app for a client that says he want reactnative and I used The Platform module without importing guess what? I never saw an error but that part of the code didn't just work and no crashes this is crazy no wonder apps built in JavaScript don't show error in dev but crashes in production javascript is just one comedy that won't cease creating unessary bugs that should not be allowed at the first place, js is just crazy in someways3
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