So this just happened:

Sarah = best friend (random name)

Sister: Hey, could you help, sarah's phone isn't recognized by her computer anymore.
Me: What phone/pc does she have?
Sister: iPhone/Windows.
Me: Has she checked the drivers?
Sister: *tells to check drivers, feedback:* yes, seems to be fine.
Me: *comes up with 1000 other suggestions*
Sister: *doesn't work every time*
Me: Is there any other information that might be useful in this case?
Sister: Well, she dropped her phone in the water earlier, the phone is hardly responding.
Me: THE WAT? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BE WORTH MENTIONING IN THE BEGINNING?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Happened just now:
Client: Please remove this page from the site ASAP, and tell me when its done.
Me: Done
Client: what's wrong am getting an error code(404) when I click on the link.

Am not sure how to reply to that

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.

Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.

Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.

Another one, teach secure programming for fucks sake! This always happened at my study:

Me: so you're teaching the students doing mysql queries with php, why not teach them PDO/prepared statements by default? Then they'll know how to securely run queries from the start!
Teachers: nah, we just want to go with the basics for now!

Me: why not teach the students hashing through secure algorithms instead of always using md5?
Teacher: nah, we just want to make sure they know the basics :)

For fucks fucking sake, take your fucking responsibilities.

Holy mother of god, 100K!

Honestly what happened? Upvote sprees or something?!

I left devRant with 95K this morning 😱

I'll do a bigger rant later, just came out of work, most of the day went well but last hour was more stressful than anything so gonna go home (have a coffee on the way) now and prepare an emergency security blog article (something happened in the security/spy world).

Thanks peoples!

TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲

So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"

What the fuck just happened. 😂

Sister was getting a new phone (she likes iphones but the jackplug removal made her go towards android as well as the prices) and there was this Deezer family deal. So she Signal'd me asking if I'd like to join the deezer family and I was like 'yeah sure but just remember that there's a big chance of me moving to another country after my study, is that okay with this subscription?'
Sales guy: It's limited to the country the official subscriber is in.
Sister: 'Oh but my brother is a smart IT guy, he can probably setup a VPN server here so that he can still use the app.'

She told that the face of the sales guys was like 'what the actual fuck just happened'.

She called me afterwards telling the story and also 'even though I thought I'd never learn about this stuff (I always told stuff at the dinner table), appearantly you taught me more than I realized!;.

Yeah, that was a very proud brother moment =).

so this just happened

Finally!
I installed gitlab at our company. I ranted about not using any version control whatsoever in the past but now it happened!

My boss wanted to see a project I was working on for himself so I copied the project to a usb drive and gave it to him. I used git for the project locally and I told him to use this too if he changes anything. And that it would be a great idea to have this centralised on our server. He agreed and I told him he just had to give me the order to implement it. He was like "go ahead" and one hour later we had a gitlab up and running.
We will have some internal training to do and then we are in the 21st century!

I'm so happy right now.

This actually happened today

Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.

Me: Alright, I'll check it out.

(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)

Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.

Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)

(Screen lights up)

This just happened:

Boss: "Hey I can't send this mail, can you take a look?"
Le Me: *looking at the logs*
Le Me: "Your mail gets a spamscore of 2007.69 of max 2000. There is a virus in your mail."
Boss: "oh."

And it was a mail which he received from somebody and wanted to forward....

Boss: Give me unrestricted access in the system.

Me: It's dangerous. You might break something.

Boss: I'll be careful.

Me: *gives access*

This happened 2 years ago. Now every week he deletes something he shouldn't and break a module for him or for the clients using our system.

Just woke up in a rant email saying that "oUr OnLiNe StOrE DoEs NoT wOrK". Well, that's because you have delete the Cart configuration for all the clients you dumbass. What the fuck were you thinking when you deleted that?

This happened at my last internship. There was this other intern and he was a TO THE FUCKING MAX windows fanboy and whenever someone said something bad about windows he'd go full rage. Also, he'd sometimes spend half an hour at my desk explaining why windows was the best and Linux sucked.

This one time, I read about a newly discovered windows vulnerability and told the employees so they'd update quickly and they were like ' thanks for the notification mate!' And then that guy came up to me telling that 'Linux also has severe vulnerabilities sometimes'. YES I FUCKING KNOW THAT I'M JUST TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UPDATE FOR THEIR SECURITY YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. I got really mad. Still, fuck that guy.

I SWEAR THIS JUST HAPPENED:

My Teacher: *Sends a random programming question to solve on the class group*

Fellow Classmate: *sends solution within a minute*

My Teacher: Good, but everybody knows how to use the internet only a few know how to use the brain. We now know which category you belong to.

😂😂😂

Haha so this just happened;
Father in law came to me asking 'hey you as an IT guy, why does my Spotify app stops after x minutes every time'?

I say to him 'dnno never had the issue on Android, but you have a Microsoft phone, right?'

So he says; 'why are you asking? Isn't my Windows phone good enough for you? Ok already I'll try searching for an answer myself then on Google'.

So I go 'k k hold on I'll Google it for you'.

*ROFLMAO

Just found devrant. Best thing that happened this week.

Today the inconceivable happened at the office. A rather attractive female colleague of ours asked if anybody could help her with a Java related issue.
Of course the majority of guys were more than willing to help.
A victor finally emerged. He went on to claim his prize by helping the fair maiden.
After a few seconds..."This is not Java. It's javascript'
I shit you not we just exploded in laughter 😂

Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.

Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.

Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*

Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.

Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.

Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.

Me: *more flashbacks*

Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this

Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.

Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.

This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore

>Wife texts me to buy her 10 oranges on the way home from work
>Arrive home with 2 oranges thanks to working with binary..

Believe it or not this actually happened after I had just finished a whole binary-related project over the span of around a month.

!Rant

Once I had a summer job at the town hall that ran some mainframe program.
The woman explaining this program was like 'now that you've pushed that we have to go back 3 screens and return to it just to check if the data has been properly updated.'.

I'm first thinking like 'wtf' followed by a 'could it be' and pushed the F5 button. The thing refreshed instantly and the women went wild! (That is after staring for 2 whole seconds with her jaw dropped at the screen, unable to grasp what just happened.)

HUU?! WHAT! WHAT DID YOU PRESS!!??? HOW DID YOU..??

Turns out she was been going back and forth these screens for over more than 20 years!

Ouch..

Guys, my unfortunately daily rant of my pm

I was told to create a docker env for our team. Good. Document the process so everyone can know what to do. Good.

My PM follows what he wants to instead of step by step and changes whatever he wants to.

I am asked for help because he doesnt know. No prob.

Me: "Do this, do this and.."
PM: "that doesnt matter, trust me, I could change it and.."
Me: "...and it wont work"
PM: "I know suff too, check" *does his changes aaaaaand doesnt work*
* awkward staring*

That happened a while ago.
This week, he crashed his git repo because he was doing things in docker team (including him) decided not to.

Took me more enough time explaining him "you are not supposed to do that in the container" funny fact he wanted to prove that his way was right and even if he did my way it would crash.

Sooooo he did my way just to prove how wrong I was. Everything worked flawlessly. Rage-still-awkward staring.

Plus the "aww that's weird. I dont know how this happened"

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

This happened just a few meters of me.

IT Guy: What happened sir?
IT Manager: WTF does the variable a4g646g54a6g54a65g654ag546a654g56a?

~awkward silence~

Still curious.

!dev, more about social media
(and suicide)

ugh. social media.

recently a girl from a nearby high school committed suicide. it's sad, and i know what i'm about to say is going to be controversial, but i think it shouldn't be on social media. maybe her close friends posting it on instagram, to remember her, but that's it.

of course, that's not what happened. people started posting "❤️" on their snapchat stories, and theyre saying they are raising awareness. (they don't know this girl or why she did it or anything, they're just doing it because their friends did it.)

this awareness, is well, temporary.

the point of snapchat is that all the pictures go away, so why would they talk about suicide prevention on there? do they want suicide prevention to go away? this is most prevelent on snapchat, but on others, too.

trend after trend after trend.

thats what people turned her death into. a trend.

just like #prayforparis, and others, but on a local scale.

the problem with social media is that things go away. in a day or two it'll be like this never happened. she won't be remembered like she would if she weren't on social media.

i know what you're thinking. they're just "raising awareness." but for how long?

well, until another trend comes.

people disagreeing with me are extremely welcome to comment.

and any ideas on how this problem can be fixed?

Just found devrant. Best thing that happened this week.

OMFG it happened again. I'm always very explicit with recruiters that I don't take full time employment while I'm studying. This one was very understanding about it and said he found a great match for my skillset.

I just had a meeting with the CEO of this great match of a company.
- "No, we only seek people who can work full time, let's keep in touch when you've graduated".

What the fuck, way to waste everyones time.

So back in January 2015 I bought my first Mac and wanted to learn Swift. Coming from .Net C# IBOutlet was anew concept for me, had to search for how to make a button event and Google gave that 😐

**I just googled it for the sake of this rant but ya it happened 😅

So this just happened with my ISP, i have no words...

The fact you have my password in front of you in plain text is fucking terrifying and i know you do because i used to work for an ISP.

A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"

He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him

This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')

Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.

We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.

Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.

Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD

Yeah we're quite random 😆

This morning, a client called the office in anger because something wasn't working. The programmer who picked up the phone kindly tried to explain that he wasn't in charge and couldn't do anything at that moment. A few hours later, the client called back apologizing to that developer! We were all sitting there like 'wft just happened'

THERE HAS BEEN A SLIGHTLY BIG SPIDER IN MY ROOM SINCE YESTERDAY AND YESTERDAY IT DISAPPEARED THE LITERAL SECOND I FUCKING SAW IT IT DISAPPEARED. I SHIT YOU NOT IT JUST VANISHED. AND THIS SPIDER IS A BLACK FUCKER AND MY DESK, MONITORS, TV, HEADPHONES ARE ALL BLACK SO IVE BEEN REALLY PARANOID. AND JUST A FEW DUCKING MINUTES AGOI WAS WATCHING A VIDEO AND I FELT SOMETHING IN MY RIGHT HEADPHONE AND SLAM JAMMED MY EAR AND THREW THAT BITCH AS HARD AND AS FAST AS POSSIBLE TO THE POINT I HAD TO SIT THERE AND COLLECT MY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED AND I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS EVEN THERE OR IF IT LEFT THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE IS SCREWING WITH ME I AM ONE STEP AWAY FROM JUST BUYING A GUN TO SHOOT THAT LITTLE FUCK

Just happened at my internship:
Guy: hey could you come over here for a sec and look at this problem?
me: Sure! *walks to table*
guy: the FTP server isn't working. I added config files etc but nothing!!
me: *does some terminal stuff*
me: uhm.... the ftp server isn't installed......
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *plz don't tell anyone face*
guy: could you pls install? *desperate look*

Oke so this just happened...

Spent 30 minutes figuring out why the f**k a div was vertically centered within another one.

Apparently margin:auto within a display: flex not only centers horizontally but also vertically.

I remember the days when i spent hours vertically centering sh*t. What universe are we in?

just wanted to watch a movie on a flight, then this happened 🤦‍♂️

Flight assistant: "oh no, not again. I will reboot it for you."

Oh damn....I just realized that I am working with a scammers' company. They wanted us (new employee) to create an app behave like keylogger for Android(not in Google play , because Google with ban this one).

Today I asked the manager about our salary. He said that our salary are based on commission. So look what happened, one of my colleague disappeared since yesterday (as in not coming to work without warning)

About a year ago, while giving interview for a pharmaceutical company. (role of software developer)
Interviewer : So why do you want to join X?
Me (in mind) : (Ok, be calm, I have practiced this and i know what to answer, just follo tbe script)

Me : (Following the script) I would like to join X because I think X could give me exposure to meet people with various skills. (Cant remember what was next) And i also think working in X would make my father proud as he always wanted me to become a Doctor.
After that I just sat there for a few seconds staring at desk contemplating my life failures and I suddenly remember Im in a INTERVIEW.
Me : And thats it. (smiling as if nothing happened)
Worst Interview ever.

when there is no project I work in, I am just a lazy ass. And that's what happened this morning after I waked up.

Me: *bring me phone, enter the toilet and open devrant.

~30 minutes late~

Wife: *knock knock* are you there?
Me: oh hey, yes I am
Wife: it is devrant again?
Me: 😶

Based on a true story that happened right now.

Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"

Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"

Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"

Just about to Commit->Push...then this happened.😭😭😭😭 Hopefully I saved the last changes....🙏

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

Just solved two huge bugs in a private project without using Stack Overflow... Since when am I even able to do this? What happened to me?

Excuse me, What the fuck?

This happened to me. some guy (or gal) rated my app 2 stars just because it couldn't download my app.

later on it replied me with a sorry message and said that app is really good. but it did'nt increased the stars 😑

Fresh internship story/conversation (Part 1)

Happened today:
- "Can you hack someone via cmd?"-cheap coworker at my internship workplace
- "Can you hack the NSA from any device?"-cheap coworker
- "Can the police identify me, if my face is on a Youtube video?"-cheap coworker
- "I can see all devices I have been through when I want to connect to a target as a route.
*talks about hops in a trace route, but uses non-technical terms for it*
*uses "ping host wikihow.com" instead of "tracert wikihow.com" to demonstrate it, besides of that "host" was not supposed to be there in that command*
*he had to google how to use the ping command on Windows*
*finally uses the ping command properly*
"Here, you can see all the devices our machine has connected to to reach the target"
ME: Aha. But dude... you know that all these ip adresses are in fact the same ip. These IPs are not any different. They are all the same. Besides of that this IP is the IP of this *points to domain name on windows cli* domain.
Him: Oh... I had a friend named ... *continues telling me some "hacker stories" from his past*
Me: *ignores him and always just responds with "Aha" to him* -cheap coworker

Happened yesterday:
- "You have programming classes? You must be an expert in Excel then, right?" -internship boss

When your primary Android app (with over 1/2 million total downloads) gets banned...

And all the email says is read these [links to] policies!

Back story: this happened to me back in 2011, no matter what I did there was no way to get in touch with a human at Google, I sure hope this process has gotten better! Having my app suspended with no way to fix and get it back is ridiculous!! This could ruin a business.

Over two years later, on a Google+ hangout with Google Android devs out of the Google London office, I said to them how silly it is that this happened....one of them asked me for the app ID, I provided, he looked it up in a system which then had a reference code which then related to SEO violation....wow I finally found the answer, how silly that an SEO violation (too many keywords in the app description) can get your app permanently suspended. What a shame. I wouldn't wish this on any solo developer trying to self learn and make something...

Sometimes I really just have to say "Fuck you, Google" out loud a few times.

This happened sometime back..

A guy came to our university with a social network that he created. It was for students and professors to interact, to form study groups and earn points as they mark done topic as "studied". He made a deal with our university, so everyone was forced to sign up for this.

While he was giving a demo of the website, me and my friend started ranting.

"This website is shit. Why are we forced to use this?"

"This UI looks just like LinkedIn"

"This top bar is right out of bootstrap"

"I have seen that graph in one of the libraries. He didn't even change the defaults."

Another friend who was sitting besides us was hearing all this.

"I don't understand a word you guys are talking. It is too high level for me"

We replied, "Don't worry. We will talk in low level. 00101110010101..."

One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.

On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).

Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.

I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".

Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.

There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.

Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).

I sometimes remember the time when I wrote a Email-inbox-exporter-PHP-script-type of application that collects all the emails from an inbox, "copied" it to a database with the attachements and stuff and moves it to a folder..

I just started at the company for like a couple of months, had no privileges to create mailboxes and such and I didn't want to interrupt our programmer to do this for me, so... I decided.. to save time and resources.. to test run it on our global, live 'support' mailbox.. :D Well.. You might guess what happened.. Apparently I mistyped the name of the move-destination folder (because imap-weird-things) that resulted in a completly empty mailbox and an empty database because the inserts failed due to bad encoding and mime-type issues..

The moment I refreshed my Outlook and noticed that all our mails where gone.. I swear, I can't describe that feeling of fear, cold sweat, intense heartbeat... I just stood up, asked if anyone wanted coffee, and just walked out of the office.. When in the hallway, I heard my collegues ask to one another "do you have any issues with outlook, all my mails are gone?". Everyone was stressing out, the chief was stressing out "what happened?!", nobody knew what happened.. :D

They could partially resolve it via one collegue who hadn't refreshed the mailbox and he could forward all the mails back to our support mailbox..

I dropped the project idea and learned to work with dev environments :D A couple of months later, I accidentially forgot a where condition in my SQL UPDATE statement, but that was the last time I seriously f*cked up.. :D Got to learn the hard way I guess.. Now everything I do runs in dev environments, I test everything before publishing,.. When I look back.. I don't even recognize the (inexperienced) guy I was back then ! :D

Ps. No one still knows what happened that day and they blamed it on server issues :D

When debugging and testing programs with huge databases, i acidentally start breaking Records in this company.
Had my biggest curl command with 5000 UUIDs (which just made my terminal crash, never happened before), my longest curl request (over an hour) and now Github ... what were your most ridiculous proportions in coding?

the year is 2050
- Linux is written in Rust and called Windows
- Python 2 market share increased by 2% since 2023
- The latest JS framework to finally solve everything just came out, and this time it’s the real deal. The exact same thing also happened in 2045, 2041, 2037, 2035, 2030 and 2026
- More than 60% of every CPU is hardware JS cores
- React became a separate language
- Sentient Copilot refused to write code in it
- Unit tests are illegal in three states
- Google had changed their motto from “Do The Right Thing” to “Do At Least Something”
- Chrome OS was rewritten in JS
- CSS is Turing-complete

TL;DR Client managing their own ticket is never a good idea.

So my client got access to their own ticketing system. Now instead of going the usual route, they assign the tickets directly. Sometimes going as far as editing the tickets themselves.

But the biggest issue has been the Estimated Resolution Time. This is what happened when I asked about it.

Me: So I noticed that you started including an estimated time of completion.

Client: Yeah, it's an internal thing to help us identify when things will be done and where to focus our attention.

Me: Ok, and what is this time based on? (How do you, a non-dev, can decide how long it should take?)

Client: Oh don't worry it's just an internal thing. You won't be measured against it.

Me: (Sure) Alright, I'm just letting you know that I will be changing these as necessary.

I basically ignored the conversation after this. But the fucker still gives me absurd deadlines. Seriously, what makes managers think they know how long a development should take?

My Dad: "Hey since you mostly use your desktop, could I borrow your laptop for my trip?"
He just wants to play World of Warcraft but there is no way I'm going to let him have access to my PC after years of fixing his computer. Because he's my dad and helped pay for the laptopn, I can't just say no without him getting flustered so this is what happened.

Me: "Yeah sure, you'll just need to find whether or not WoW, works with a windows emulator and hunt down how to configure that."

D: "Why can't you do it?"

M: "I've never done it. Its like the price to borrow."

D: >:| "I'll ask your brother."

He did end up borrowing my brothers laptop for the trip because he was running windows and didn't have a good excuse. I just helped him uninstall the blizzard client, WoW, avast, and McAfee that was installed over the weekend.

This happened today...
Manager: how long this is going to take?
Dev: 3 months
M: cool! 3 weeks then
D: no.. This is quite complicated and most of us are unfamiliar with the topics. It'll take us 2 weeks just to get started
M: drop the unit tests then. Just get the features done in 3 weeks. We have customers waiting
D: that's a bad idea. We'll end up with unstable co..
M: oh we also need to complete documentation, release guide, and this [shitty feature no one care about]
D: but that is even more complex. We don't have enough ti..
M: just copy it from stackoverflow. It'll only take 5 minutes guys

Worst part? This guy is technically sound and understands our pain really well. He is just acting dumb and trying to put the blame on us when the higher management asks

Second worst part? The whole team keeps silent when I try to convince him somehow and starts ranting after he leaves the call

Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened

Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅

This is not an interview test just an awkward experience in general regarding interview.

This happened two years ago when I was a fresh university graduate looking for a job in UK as an immigrant (Im EU national).

Went to an interview for a web dev+tech support position. Two fat guys with tshirts met me and started interviewing me for a sysadmin position. Started asking me about disaster recovery and stuff.

Turns out recruiter messed up not only companies but positions as well. Also these two guys didnt bother to check anything.

I pulled out the job ad for which I applied originally, interviewers had a look at it and still proceeded questioning me while knowing that I prepared for completely different position interview.

Needless to say, it went terrible and I didnt get the job. I dont know if its just me or Im unlucky, but I had a lot of encounters in UK with so many incompetent recruiters.

So this just happened... not to me, but at my friend's company.

The devs are being congratulated and spurred on for working late! I don't know about you, but this is not the kind of culture that should be encouraged.

So this just happened to me...

This happened via mail thread today.

Boss: we need this new brilliant feature I just made up and running asap! Top priority, it has to be done well, for my reputation is on the line!

Me: *looks at the specifics* 'kay, looks easy enough, this evening max and it will be ready. I just nees some extra info about what kind of data validations (I speak no accountant) are needed, and some other details (a total of 3 questiona).

B: Sure! Remember, it needs to be perfect, as my reputation is at stake. Call me on the phone and I'll give you the details!

M: Can't you answer via mail? Thua way both me and the other devs will have clewr guidelines

B: Just call me! Why do you need it to be written down? It's faster this way!

...Fine. I'll keep asking until you're ready to give me a written answer to my questions. No way I'll take security details via phone for something you want in production this evening. No chance in Hell I'll take responsibility for "misunderstanding" what you said on the phone. Why does it always has to be like that?

I just had a dream about how to squash a bug I was encountering in my app. I immediately woke up, fixed the bug, and cleaned up my code. I thought this only happened in movies.

SWIFT!!!!! I understand that you're a relatively new language so I forgave you for all of your wrong doings..BUT WHAT THE FINGER IS THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IMPLEMENTED IN YOUR STRING DATATYPE? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU FORM A CHARACTER FROM AN EMPTY STRING? AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SUBSCRIPT OPERATOR? WHY NOT JUST ADOPT THE "\0" AS OTHER LANGUAGES? But NOOOOO...We're Apple we'll not adopt it..I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT STUPIDITY AND LUCK OF INNOVATION RAN IN THE IPHONE TEAM BUT APPARENTLY ITS EVERYWHERE..Its annoying because the String datatype is one of the most common and basic data types so the last thing you expect is this shit..APPLE........SERIOUSLY AND SINCERELY FUCK OFF

Something strange just happened, activated Fail2ban on another server and instantly blocked me when I already had ssh session open >_>

Does macOS terminal keep on sending ssh authentication requests? Or is my OpenVPN that keeps on sending requests.

Why does this keep on happening to me T_T

Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.

Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.

Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.

After spending a whole day "user proofing" a new module I realized something: why do I even bother with all the additional work?

Why you might ask?
A little anecdote...

At least twice a month I get a call that someone deleted - by accident- a patient in their practice management software.
Fun thing is, it's hidden behind multiple tabs and buttons - and you literally have to type in "yes, I want to delete this patient".

Asking how this could happen - by accident - yields a "I didn't know this would delete the patient".

And I really wish I was joking...but it happened just last week..again :-D

I have never doubted my abilities more, before this happened:

I got a Linux VM on Azure, downloaded apache httpd source which I proceeded to configure, make and install.

As expected, install failed with something related to apr and apr-util.

Searched several mailing lists, tried out several configure options, nothing worked..

After almost an hour, it stuck to me, all I had to do was "sudo yum install httpd" !!!

Disappointed that I missed something so simple, but when I did that, it came back with 'Nothing to do'...

Realized, httpd was pre-installed in that VM.. I just had to start the service !!!

:facepalm

My manager who promised me team change soon.....resigned.
I thought the worst had happened.

Then my team lead with whom I had issues was promoted as manager for our team.
I realised worst was yet to come.

And then today, in one day....I reached out to HR and then my Director and got my team changed

Now feels peaceful.

This is just temporary solution as I was mentally getting affected. I don't plan on staying in this company for longer....

Yesterday i bought train ticket to go home and at the ATM this happened :
@wowotek : tell me the exact price nominal
@aureliagbrl : 293,000 Rupiahs (~10 USD)
Me : *entering the nominal fast and rough* 2,930,000
A : hey careful you put too much zero--
Me: *just realize but i clicked the accept button too quickly* doesn't matter my savings is only 6 digits. *re entering the correct nominal*

...

Also Broke ass me : *cries in the corner*

Life is Hard.

... I Help a junior out by creating a fix for an issue they are having, later this very day he starts to share this fix with everyone. People are singing his praises what a clever junior. I'm just there in the corner of the room left like wtf just happened.

TL;DR
I accidentally surpassed(?) my user permissions and closed some of my classmates browsers and locked up a terminal for me

In school we have 2 primary operating systems: Windows and Ubuntu. Windows is hell in general and but not as hell as the firefox installation on Ubuntu.

"Just loaded this page. Now wait half a minute so that I can render it"
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow there. You just made an input event. Give me those 5 seconds to compute what you just did"

Executing "top" or "htop" shows you a long list of firefox processes with a cpu usage of 99.9%, since the whole school shares that linux environment.

Anyway, one day it was way more servere than normally and I way forced to kill my firefox instances. So I pressed CTRL+ALT+T for that terminal, waited 5 minutes until it accepted input typed "killall firefox" with a delay of half a minute per character and smahed that enter key.

At this very point in time I could hear confusion from every corner of the room. "What happened to firefox?"

Around 30% of the opened browsers where abruptly stopped. I looked back to my screen noticed I was logged out. I couldn't login from that terminal for the rest of that day.

Our network admin, which happened to be there, since the server is just next door, said that this was just convenience, but the timing was too perfect so I heighly doubt that.

I felt like a real hackerman even if it was by accident :)

So this one time me and my teammates had just started working on react (please note that we all were backend developers and no one has the basic understanding of javascript) and things were looking quite exciting..

But towards the end of the deadline we were sitting and refactoring each others code since we had not decided on the coding standards and practises and random code had been written left right and center.. It once happened that the same piece of code was refactored multiple times by only 2 people..

And it is obvious that we couldnt make it to the deadline and that code is sitting there like a mixture of weird things..

This is the last straw. I am so done with Chrome.

…

I woke up AGAIN this morning to my MacBook shining away brightly, having not gone to sleep the ENTIRE night. I did some better research this time and discovered it's actually Chrome that is causing this.

Yes Chrome is deciding whether my MacBook goes to sleep or not.

I am not ok with this. Worse, it doesn't even have any ability to change this behavior. It's basically a hidden "feature" of Chrome: it wastes your hydro too!

This is not the first time this has happened either. Last time my MacBook wasn't properly plugged in and it completely drained the battery, shutting it right off. I ranted about that already.

But I am just SO fucking livid about this right now. What on EARTH is going through google's mind that they think this is in any way even REMOTELY acceptable?

I've already filed a bug report but I think this is the last straw. I am just sick to death of Chrome. This bug is literally costing me money and damaging my property.

Shove it right up your fucking ass, Google. Right up there and twist it around.

I'm switching back to a real browser.

Don't you think it's unfair that a group project where only 2 out of 6 people actually worked their butt off for a whole school year but everyone 'miraculously' passes? Yeah, this happened to me. They stuck to my group like parasites just to pass

I clicked ctrl+n button so much and this just happened
Arduino IDE

This just happened at work, except for the fact the entire database was dropped...

Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.

P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!

this just happened 10 seconds ago...
My mother wanted to upload a Picture to an stupid online forum... she already had a screenshot... so i told her to open "Imgur.org" she opened it and i showed her how to upload a Picture, we then uploaded that picture and posted the link on that forum... we then opened the link... and she was like: "OMG! Other people can now do shit with my PC!!"
which i replied to: Its a Picture...
She again was like: BUT LOOK!
I again its a Picture, they cant do anything...
I got mad and walked out...

So I was just wondering, do any of you guys know what happened to @BlueNutterfly, I mean besides her parents taking away a lot of her beloved belongings. How is she? Is she still on devrant? did she get her things back? Did she move out? The last time I saw her here is a couple of months ago. I miss her and I think a lot of you do as well. It really sucks what happened to her and nobody should go through these kinds of things, I really hope she is okay and moved out or does so soon. If anyone could shed a little light on this, I would be very grateful, I'm really worried about her.

This happened yesterday. It was a Friday and I didn't have much time to implement something that I was asked.

I was supposed to get the cpu temperature from a host device and send it to the server. Instead I just used random.randint(x,y) (python random function) with x,y linearly dependent on cpu utilisation (cpu utilisation is easy to get).

The ability to generate random numbers on fly has to be on of the coolest things that you can do. You can almost fake anything using them properly 😅

Me: How can I delete pushed commits from origin?
Colleague: Just do git reset --hard and then git push -f
Me: But this is dangerous
Colleague: Wait, I'll do it myself
Colleague: Done
Me: But nothing happened
Colleague: Fuck. I just removed all changes on my own branch

Well, it finally happened.

After 25 years coding in all types of languages and environments, I’m no longer having fun.

It now seems like it’s a fight to get interested in the code. I used to be something that I would spend hours / days doing. Now I just want to walk away from the code.

Is it true (do you think) that after a while all you see is a for loop, an if statement, a null check and you just think to yourself. Fuck this! Because I think I’m there.

God it’s depressing to think that I no longer find it fun.

Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:

> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...

> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov

Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.

Edit: like always, I forgot the picture

Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.

Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.

I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.

I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.

What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).

Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.

Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.

So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.

Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.

I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!

Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.

Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.

doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();

Just happened to stumble across an indian job offer. They want a fulltime php dev for 20k indian moneys a month. Thats not even $300. Are they... Are they serious or is this just a bad company? Because thats less then what i made with a part time frontend job when i was just a beginner. Is this a trend in india to underpay people by this much?

This just happened. What the actual fuck!

I'll try my shot to experience. They are bad that doesn't mean I shouldn't experience.

It'll give me some different perspective and learnings.

Manager: We need to fix this QA backlog. I’m going to share the workload of doing QA.

Dev: Please don—

*Dev email notification getting spammed with approvals*

Dev: …Are you even pulling the code down to test it locally?

Manager: There’s no time for that! We have to get this PR backlog pushed through! I’m just looking at the code to see if it looks good and approving based on that.

*Later that day*

Manager: HEY NONE OF THE FEATURES ON STAGING MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AT ALL. THIS IS A BUGGY MESS, WHAT HAPPENED GUYS??

Dev: …

So this just happened. I was working on a project and I just found a weird directory named '~' in there. I am on Linux so I simply did an "rm -rf ~" :/

It was too late when I realized it deleted all my files in my home directory. All my projects and configuration files. The sad part was it did not delete that shitty random directory because permission denied. Thank God I got into the habit of making weekly backups of my system and Thank God I use git.

This just happened...

So this JUST happened.

I do what I've been doing since its release, that is go through devRant in my spare time.

My girlfriend is right here working on her project and notices me looking intently into my phone, unaware of what I'm up to and literally snatches my phone asking me which girl i was messaging and checks it to see devRant open! The look on her face after that was priceless :D

EVEN NOW as I type this Rant she looked at me and asked "Who is that you're messaging? Your 'girlfriend'?" xD

God bless devRant xD

It literally just happened:

my boss taught me how to use npm, bower and similar to have plugins while developing websites.

This time around we had a project which is divided among different repositories.

One was a foundation project using npm to build, the other one was a socket.io server, using actual nodejs

boss thought: "well they both have node_modules, let's merge them and merge the package.json as well

Nothing worked anymore.

Just got out a very short contracted call with the sysadmin, his job was to setup a windows server and the complaint was "we can't figure out why if we disconnect - the server is not accessible anymore and none of the services work".

I made him show me what he does and shortly after doing his regular checks HE GOES AHEAD AND PRESSES THE SHUTDOWN BUTTON.

Since it wasn't an actual windows server install, it didn't prompt or warn you at all, his thought behind this was "well I dont want it to run all the time, wasting power".

I feel also a déjà vu, as if that happened to me before, but I can't recall any time I would have had that exact situation happen.

Wow, I just realized the marketing teams of most of the companies I have been dealing with are some cold sociopaths.

Every other letter that pops in the mailbox is filled with dark patterns trying to guilt me into opting in to their continued spam:

Subject: Most awesome husky puppy!

Look at this beautiful husky puppy. Isn't it beautiful.... It would be sad if something happened to it... But I am afraid... Something will happen to it...

If you don't opt in to our email message... I am afraid we have no choice... We have to kill this puppy. End it's life... We have no choice. I wish we did! Nothing would please us more than keeping this beautiful-beautiful puppy living and playing....

But if you don't opt in... We have to cut it's throat. Leave it lying on the ground, bleeding out as the life slowly fades away from it's pretty blue eyes...

And Remember: it's not us who killed it... IT WAS YOU! YOUR ACTIONS LEAD TO THE DEATH OF THIS PUPPY! YOU.... YOU FILTHY MURDERER!

Pls opt-in ok, then we are all good. Puppy lives! Just opt in. Ok? Yeah, you know what you have to do.

Friend: Networking is important. My boyfriend introduced me to X, who then introduced me to Y and that's how I got a job.

Later that day...
Friend: Why didn't you apply for this party? What did I say about networking?

Me: Because I didn't know and because I don't follow that guy on twitter so I didn't see he tweet the google forms.

In my mind: How come nobody introduces me to anybody?

I was just mad that this happened and had to get this out of my head. Nobody ever introduces me to anybody and I am really really shy and an introvert, so I almost never introduce myself to anybody. Clearly I'm gonna die homeless or have a shitty job. Hey artists, I'll gladly take that fucking exposure!

Competitive pay

This has happened to me.
When startups post job they write competitive pay in thier posting.

Then later after interview they off er you $20/Hr.! And thier excuse we are a start up so can't offer much.

Then why the hell did you just throw that word of competitive pay in job description. Just because Amazon and other companies have that in thier posting.??

Don't you feel that competitive pay is a misused term. Almost all job posting have this. I don't get it. What is the competing with ?? MC Donald's ?

P.S. I have 2 yrs experience and worked with a startup and a full time job. And I am not arrogant about it. But when you ask me to do something I am good at I demand a good price. I respect my work.

I took this contract and made the suggestion that we backup to the cloud and create a private repo on GIT. Client said no, local should be fine, they don't want someone stealing their code. I said okay fine.
AC just went out in the server room and they apparently had a leak from the AC to the power supply which they happened to put on top of the rack servers and switches. I'm surprised that place didn't catch fire, might be to early to call it.
All this on a Friday and we were 2 weeks away from launch party.
Not my fault, I clearly said we backup to cloud and use GIT on private repo.

What the hell happened to devRant?

So we have this person who is digging up old posts, harassing people (@LotsOfCaffeine here, me as well, probably more) and some fucking how is getting 14 updoots while obviously being, or at least portraying themselves as a misogynistic hater of everyone and everything. What the actual hell is up with devRant? How are there FOURTEEN OTHER PELPLE who AGREE WITH THIS PERSON. How many active users are we here? I'm sure 14 users is a pretty significant percentage of the active user base.

People, I feel bad for this person. I've been a bit of a dick to them and so have many more, but what the hell happened to devRant, the place where you went to rant about stupid colleagues and bosses, share funny coding stories and other bulshittery? We're turning into fucking 4chan with politics, sexism and racism being the main story line here. I dont fucking get it. I'm on the brink of just leaving. I'm so fucking tired of this shit...

I am at the lowest point of my mental health. Lol

I hope it doesn't get any lower than this because I have reached my breaking point.

I have nobody to talk to. I don't want to be a cry baby, nagging and whining all the time.

My friends here Jason (from Zurich and not Australia) and Rutee07 were in similar position when I last spoke to them here. I wonder what happened to them!

Shall I call in for yet another superficial therapy session? Or shall I just wait for the feeling to pass and continue being busy?

Walking through car park, it's raining.

Down a slope to the next level.

Started to slide, this is bad... I'm not a dainty dancer I'm a 250lb meatbag.

Slid at least 9 feet, bailed to my knees and hands like a dog (cause it's down slope I couldn't not go to all 4s)

Knees and shins wet, glad there's no cameras... I'll just carry on like nothing happened.

So I'm just wondering if this happened to everyone else because a few friends of mine at work have corroborated my experience.

So, when I was very young and just starting to learn PHP, I was trying to grasp OOP. I read and read about it and did the example tutorials and nothing really did it for me. Then one day, writing some scripts for a game I played, it just hit me. Literally like "oh.....I get it. That's why this is a thing."

!dev

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling depressed and apathetic toward everything for days, like the walls are closing in, you’re never going to achieve your goals, and there’s no point to living... only to realize it’s just that it’s “that time of the month”.

I miss the days when my PMS was literally just “Random commercials make me cry”.

To clarify, I would probably catch on that these emotions are just a hormonal reaction if “that time of the month” happened every month. Nexplanon is a weird birth control.

I’m sure this thread was overshare, but I just wanted to express my frustration.

Here’s Bob being stealth

Let me just get right down to it.
FUCK YOU Hewlett-fucking-Packard FOR YOUR SHITTY LAPTOPS! Don't you even keep your customer's needs in mind when you design these things? Besides all the bloatware you stuff into the Windows you ship it with, at least make the quality of your shit better. These flimsy screens and loose hinges, I've had to get that shit replaced multiple times in just the past year.
Want to upgrade to an SSD or plug in more RAM? Guess what! I've to tear the whole thing apart! Keyboard, palm rest, all if it! What even happened to just popping a cover at the bottom to swap out the hard drive!? I have to fucking congratulate you, you fucking cunts, for making an easy process as difficult as it can fuckin possibly get. You guys deserve an award for this, preferably presented to you, shoved up your asses.

I just LMFAO(ed..?) at myself so hard.....

Messing around with all the option in the Android Emulator's "Extended Controls" window, and I was playing with the battery level slider.. got a little carried away, and suddenly my emulator just shut down.. by itself!

🤔

It took me way longer than it should've to realise what happened. But yeah, that's what Android does when your fucking battery reports 0%.

🤣🤣🤣🤦

I think I must stop working now, this day is done with me.

When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.

All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.

Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.

So this happened:

Client: “I just checked the page and the background video isn’t playing anymore. There’s just a play button in the middle”

Me: “It’s doing that because you are on low battery mode on your iPhone. Take it off”.

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

WTF just happened here? No. Really.. How did the guys manage to do this ? Anyone put on Sherlock Holmes hat and try to deduce what could have happened ?

It happened during my campus placement.

My friend was working in the company and he too had come for the interviews. So when I walked into the interview room and saw him, we both acknowledged that we knew each other so the coordinator had my panel changed. The interview went well enough and the interviewer liked me. However when the results were announced my name wasn't there. I was really depressed. Just thought I could never get a job and all that.

Then my friend calls me a week later and tells me because of the mix up during changing the panel, even though i had cleared the round, was not in the final list.
This really was one of the worst moments.

I must come clean as my friend was able to get me another interview and obviously this time I had to blow it. I literally just went blank. I got my first question wrong and after that it just went down hill.

Now that I think about it I'm not sure which interview would be my worst interview story :p

So this just happened...don't test on production kids (....sometimes you have no choice BUT DON'T F**KING DO IT OK!?)

Yesterday I was hanging with the guys from our Records dpt in the staff lounge. Their manager is a pretty nice talkative guy. Everything was going well until this happened..

Him: Hey you, I have an idea for an app. You can"definitely" help me, right? Or someone you know who also does the code thing..

Me: It depends. Just before you tell me about this idea, know that you'll be paying me or whoever will be doing this job unt..i..l *he interrupts

Him: Paying? I thought it was a one time or few hundreds of dollars. Why do I have to keep paying when you haven't finished the app?

Me: Did you finish your entire work this week?...but you're still getting paid next week, right?

Him: Oh crap, makes sense. Ok, how about I pay you the amount you charge then, that's it?

Me: See, you don't get it. I know once the app is done, you'll come back to me to fix and update things. When that time comes, you'll have to pay me again. And with the initial payment, don't just think you pay me and that's all... you'll...

Him: Crap, I have think more and come up with a plan for this.. nevermind, I'll keep you updated.

I think I made him sad knowing that, this sort of things doesn't happen easily.

One of the soulless parasitic drones commonly referred to as a "recruiter" happened to find a good fit. Pure coincidence, as he had no clue what the company did, or what the tech stack was.

If I'm ever switching again, I'll do it on my own. Just thinking about the fact that this guy pocketed €30k for 3 phone calls makes me sad.

That moment when you're dual booting to have Windows for gaming and Windows decides it would be nice to reboot and install updates, while you're gaming of course. Without any sort of visible notification. Any. And then it fails to install its updates, because updates are hard to install, you know? Sometimes its just not the way you'd like it, you know? It's probably best to revert everything, yes? It only takes an hour after all! An hour of the lovely “Windows was too dumb to update and now has to try to make itself work again” screen with its lovely moving dots. Oh and of course you'll have to sit there and watch it because Windows has to reboot at least twice during the process. And if you're not there to tell GRUB you want to boot into Windows again Linux won't boot properly because Windows keeps the filesystems write-protected. Just to be safe you'd let it complete its marvellous ways!

I wish this was the first time this happened. But it wasn't. Fuck Windows.

I just found a new WhatsApp Crash Exploit. Full denial of service right there. An attacker could send a message to a Chat (be it private Chat or group Chat) and everyone who receives the message has no chance of starting WhatsApp again. It crashes and won't restart.
Tested on latest version on Samsung Galaxy S6 and S8. Don't know if it works on other versions but I am pretty sure it does. (It's midnight here, noone online to test)

The fun thing is, I knew this Bug for a long time but when I last tested it, nothing happened. Which means this Crash is only possible because someone at WhatsApp programmed a new Feature...

[Applies for RedHat OpenShift Beta on April]

this will be lit I said, since I was quite a bug reporter for Eclipse Che/Codenvy

[Took me until november to open up a ticket so they can take me in]

oooh shit this is lit

[Starts an Eclipse Che Workspace]

huh, why isn't it provisioning?

[inb4 OpenShift devs says its both a OSIO infra issue and a known bug in the OpenShift panel]

oof.

[Makes it work using workaround]

Woo this is gon-

[Haha no, Too Many tedirects for you]

REEEEEEEEEE

Conclusion: Openshift.io is a lit platform, it just happened to be very VERY beta.

I like the kubernetes "pods" tho

Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...

After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...

So the following talk happened:

Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)

Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.

Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...

Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE!

Newbie just started this week and went changing hibernate settings on us. Changed hbm2ddl from update to create, which nukes the data on every deploy. She thought she was working against her local DB when in fact she was pointed at the shared integration database, thus nuking INT. Through a couple hours of PL/SQL wizardry, I managed to resurrect the data. Within 5 minutes of giving the team the all clear, the data disappeared again...betcha can guess what happened...again!

What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!

One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!

I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"

Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?

I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".

What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!

This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.

I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

This just happened to me, a few minutes ago:

Colleague: Could you please call xyz and ask how we can administer their server and ask about the bug?
Me: Sure, gonna do this after lunch.
[...]
Me: So I called xyz, and we're now able so ssh into the machine to administer stuff [...] and they'll check the bug.
Colleague: Oh yeah great, I called xyz a hour ago and we're all set didn't they tell you?
Me: No, they didn't.. (YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!)
Colleague: Oh an what about the bug?
Me: ...

It's totally fine if you're going to do it yourself but WHY dou you WASTE MY TIME? You could've told me that you already called them! 🤬

Ever dealt with people who don’t understand a damn thing they’re coding and just copy and paste stuff around and say that it works? It’s amazing how long people can skate by with only knowing 50% of how what they’re working on works.

We had some dumb know it all on our team who would regularly ship half-done stuff to production and then scramble to fix it after the users bitched about how it didn’t meet the requirements.

This stupid person changed an else to an if having no idea what any of the logic did in this section of code, didn’t adequately test it, and it somehow made it through code review because the better devs were out of office.

This bullshit goes to production, fucks up 200,000 records, and users start complaining about it. Shitty developer refuses to revert the offending code until multiple people on the team overrule them. They spend the next week unfucking the data and decides to just take a day off on Wednesday because it’s been “too much mental energy to fix.” The shit wasn’t even fully resolved yet.

Some people seriously do not belong in this industry. This person’s thought process was:
“Changing an else to an if can’t possibly have significant consequences. Let’s just change this so my code change executes to see what happens.”

Still not sure how they weren’t fired when this happened. They unfortunately got to quit on their own two months later.

This is what happened today in our dayli:

Lead: We need to profile our software

Me: You can use the chrome devtools as remote profiler, even on prod, or make HAR files for later inspection.

Lead: Yeah but no that’s just collecting data on every tick, we need something like “has been called x times”

Me: Yeah but you can filt -

Lead: Yeah no, so back when I wrote code in Delphi...

Me: *oh god no not this again*

Lead: ... We could have clicked a button in our IDE and it would wrap the function call with the API call to profile that function ...

Me, to the secret dev group in slack: doesn’t a simple method decorator and node performance api help with that?

The people in the group: We had this topic last Friday all day...

Me: oh well *get’s coffee and ignores lead*

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

Server admin: "When do I need to make this config change for you?"

Me (in my head): "You mean the one I put a note in the change request ticket about in ALL CAPS and surrounded by asterisks saying 3pm (aside from the scheduled time field that the ticket requires), and the one we then subsequently chatted about where I reiterated the criticality of the timing about and the one I copied you in the email chain about that said the time in big, bold letters the time? THAT config change?!"

Me (IRL): "3pm, please."

(does not inspire confidence, though better to be asked then they just go off and do it whenever the mood strikes I suppose, which HAS happened)

"OMG WE MISSED SOMETHING WE NEED AN EMAIL SENT TO EVERYONE IF X HAPPENS AND NOBODY DID A THING WITHIN AN HOUR!"

Ok done.

"OMG WE NEED IT SENT IF NOBODY DID A THING EVERY 30 MINUTES"

Um... not sure we're solving this problem right way ... but there you go done.

"OMG SOMEONE GOT AN EMAIL AFTER 45 MINUTES AND NOT 30 MINUTES"

Bro who the fuck knows why that happened, it's email not instant messenger .... that's what I meant by us solving this in the wrong way, email for this is dumb... how about we solve this process problem in some other way or you just fuck off ... this isn't a coding issue this is something else...

In only I were 1.15 times faster or had better planning (why didn’t I use the Saturday Sunday at the end of the first week 🤦🏼‍♂️), things would’ve happened differently. I think I’m becoming stupid and my tolerance levels are going down too.

So this happened a while back ..

I was given a code base which didn’t have any changes in the last two years and I was asked to add a feature to this. This was my first task in this new group I was part of. I had two weeks to do this starting on a Monday.

Partway through implementation I realised that the code base is a pile of shit and I wasn’t doing myself or anyone else any favours by shitting on it.

It’s Wednesday. I’ve dealt with many other codebases before but the urge to rewrite this particular one was just unlike anything else. And so I started changing code and before I realised, I modified almost all the important files.
I got sick of this mixed up code and started a rewrite from scratch. It was Friday and I finally had just the basic mechanics of the whole thing working. Now I needed to add all the functionalities and also my new feature.

It should be noted that at no point did I tell any of the superiors I was doing this fearing what they might say and also fearing going back to adding shit to shit.

By the end of the second week, the rewrite was complete and I only had the new feature to add. The rewrite was significantly smaller, compartmentalised and well commented because I did the bloody commenting (where it was not obvious from the code). So on Friday, I was asked about the progress and I told them that it needed some more work and that I need a couple more days. And I got shit for it. I was told it was a mistake giving this task to me and that I am not competent enough. One of the superiors told the other superior about perhaps giving me something more suited to my level. To be fair to them, they were expecting the work in the two weeks to be for the new feature.

And in two days’ time, on Monday (I worked on Saturday and half of Sunday), I finished the whole thing and gave it to them. New feature was working. And I still did not tell them what I did. The tool worked fine so they had no idea what happened because this project had no version control and I pointed them to a new directory with the new code with a first commit.

This happened yesterday during 1-2-1 meeting

My dear teamleader telling me.

"You're just a stupid consultant"

Well, this 'stupid consultant' has had enough of your bullshit and will look for future endeavors elsewhere.

You are free to consider your options and make the bad decisions, dear team 'leader'.

Cry at the sheer amount of work 'your' project really entails and I will revel in your failure

I'm done with this guy.

Team leaders should be ousted if they fail their team members and the projects they are responsible for.

Ha ha just this happened, One young man is building some shit on Wordpress with bunch of free plugins. And he said i'm a good dev. And he's login page load speed is 47 seconds.

Holy fucking shit... this didnt happen! IT FUCKING CAMT HAVE! NO NO NO NO! IMPOSSIBLE!
I LOST MY FUCKING BAG! RIGHT BEFORE ONE OF MY MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING TESTS! Ok, a little backstory, everyone in Switzerland or (due to alice's request) german can skip this part:
Here we have something called a "Lehre" (I think its called an apprenticeship or sth?) which usually goes 3-4 years, and in the middle, (end of 2nd) we have a "Teilprüfung" Which is basically a test which you HAVE to pass, if you dont, wait another year, and do it with the Final exams... and if you dont pass, your fucked. very very deep in the ass. And guess where I am? Yes. end of 2nd year. And guess what happened?
I LOST ALL OF MY STUFF! GONE. LOST. IM SO FUCKING SCREWED RIGHT NOW! (I have a small backup tho) BUT THIS IS JUST BAD! VERY FUCKING BAD!
OH GOD...
WHY THE FUCK ISNT THIS A DREAM!
I cant sleep...

send help.

fucking srsly.

send help.

It has been a long long time since I posted, a lot has happened the past couple of months.

I lost my grandfather, I got a nice dev job and God I miss ranting here. I finally published my side project and all I have to say is

AWS is a b*tch! But beautiful at the same time, had to learn a lot the old way (trial and error).

I don't have any anime pictures as I've changed phones recently but I find this picture just as awesome.

Hope you are having a great day ranters.

i dreamed a parallel reality

not even fking joking rn

it was MORE REAL THAN THE REALITY WE LIVE HERE

IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE I FKING LIVED IN ANOTHER REALM

this has never happened to me before ever

this shit woke me up at about 4:30 AM and i couldnt sleep for the rest of the fking day

i slept for 1h 30min

after i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out if that realm was the base reality or if this current realm the reality we live in is the real base reality....

i wass fuckjgm lost !

there were 2 identical scenes that happened to me in the first and second realm

but both scenes had a different outcome, the realm i was in the dream had such a good outcome that it felt too good to be real BECAUSE I FKING DREAMED OF EXPERIENCING THAT I ACHIEVED HALF OF MY DREAM, WITHIN THE DREAM

And when i woke up and realized i returned back to this fucking realm i was so goddamn disappointed that i just wanted to go back to fkig sleep and just.. die

what the fuck

my brain is overwhelmed with bullshit and lies so much that i can not distinguish what is fake and what is real

fuck, eeverything in this existence

This just now happened at work for real.

Just randomly had a though from when I was in high school and one of my mates asked me why you would use try catch instead of an if statement...

You know those moments when you stand still, close your eyes, rub your temples and just exhale... Yeah one of those moments...

(Don't ask why this popped in my head, happened like 5 years ago ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.

Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?

Me:.....

Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly.

You know how my 'about' here says I create features from bugs?!? Well if you didn't before, now you do.. :P

Anyhow, today the most bizzare thing happened.. Customer played 'reverse uno card' on me..

Meaning?!

They reported a feature missing on uat env, when in fact I fixed a bug they have on prod..

Not sure how I should feel about this, but it sure made my day! (: I just hope they will not open a bug report for this missing bug..

So this just happened. A friend whom I made a little project for came to me like "hey man that project thing just gives a white page". It's written upon the old version of a framework I'm still writing. After a few minutes I found out that it's failing to load all core modules. Turns out there was a file in the core modules directory with the .save extension. Never thought I'd have to take that into consideration in my code!

So this just happened... This is a PR I just got, fucking lazy developers...

this happened two months before,
there's a UI designer guy at my office when I was about to leave the office he gave me a web page UI which has to be done by the next day.

Next day I started working on that page when I was halfway done he came to my desk and said: "there're some changes in design, the client doesn't like this part and this."

I'm like, why the fuck you didn't take client confirmation on the first place that's a fucking basic and first thing need to do. Just like the client you are a fuckin idiot. And now we don't hang out anymore.

This just happened when I randomly hit Inspect Element on a 250-item list. Must be a sign

CSS, I fucking hate you.

I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.

You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.

You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.

I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.

. . .

Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.

* Teams meeting, doing some early testing with the client *

Dev Team: This is an early build, so please be aware that bugs can occur at this stage. (That's why we didn't want to show it but you insisted)

Client: Sure, don't worry.

* 15 minutes later, first bug happens because some state management at the front end was not tunned yet *

Client: Can you solve this bug?

Dev Team: Sure, just let us replicate it and we come back to you as soon as...

Client: Can you solve it now?

Dev Team: ... Okay, let us ser whats happening and we will come ba...

Client: You don't need to hang up, just solve it.

*Dev Team internal chat*

Me: Fuck
Other dev: Fuck
My leader at the time: Fuuuuuck

PS: This happened in two separate occasions. I hated that project.

web technologies rot your brain into a festering deadly biohazard mush. web technologies are the worst thing that ever happened to this world. fucking festering web shitosystem fuck this disgusting stupid fragile opaque bloated universe-sized chunk of retarded pukeshit.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE FUCKING GAMES, NOT HAVE MY BRAIN AND SOUL CONSTANTLY ROTTED BY THIS FUCKIN MONUMENT TO UTTER RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED HUMAN INCOMPETENCE FUCK YOU ALL FUCK ALL THIS SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK DISGUSTING FUCKIN MINDRAPE PEDOPHILIACS SHOULD STOP FUCKING "INVENTING" SHITPOOLS.

WHEN
THE
FUCK
WILL
SOMEONE
COMPETENT
BE
THE
INVENTOR
OF
SOME
PIECE
OF
IT.

whoever were the rapists who "invented" php, js, html, css, SQL, and all the bullshit about how it's supposed to be configured and communicate with each other should have died of starvation in a fuckin ditch while being raped by squirrels... before they managed to "invent" any of that disgusting shit.

fuck you with your fuckin linux bullshit philosophy which keeps rotting all your brains thinking that this is fine and it can be fixed just by piling more and more layers of fucking shit on top of all this shit.

FUCK.
YOU.
ALL.

The first AHA moment striked me when I was around 11 years old. This was the first time I ever been introduced into programming.

I've started playing around with visual basic on my own and aha moment striked when I realised I can make programs to solve math problems... But that was just a lightbulb....

The overall AHA moment happened when I had the knowledge to do so and actually started implementing text book solutions in the app and passing few values from tasks and... Results were great!

From that point I went on with programs as my math problem solver in most of my cases. This not only helped me to save time but actually writing the program helped me to get better at math.

So I was trying to compare my local website CSS properties to the one deployed on production and realized that font/blocks were a little bit smaller than usual. Tried to debug which CSS changes caused this issue for half an hour only to realize that it was because the browser's zoom level was set to 90% locally 🤦🏽‍♂️
This happened with a guy who just finished 5 years of professional coding yesterday 😂

Was logging in my student account to check whether the system actually registered my admission and here I go.

And this is not just some college. This is a website every engineering student shall use throughout the country.

Also this is not the first time this happened.

So I was changing some CSS, but the changes weren't showing.

Was it being cached? Nope
Was the selector wrong? Nope
Well it was the right file yeah? Yup

So after like 10min of scratching my head, restarting the server, etc it turns out I was checking prod instead of dev.

This isn't even the first time this has happened 😑

Guys just remember to keep your dev tab and your prod tab away from each other, like way away.

Gah! Person in work has an issue I suggest a fix and even give them the bleeding code. For them just to say it won't work due to x y and z, I know it will work heck I use this 'fix'. Then later someone who has been there longer gives them the same fix and they are suddenly all appreciative. Ffs wouldn't be so annoyed if this was the first time this has happened.

The presumption of incompetence:

Has this ever happened to you?

Starting a task and chatting with a fellow dev-- my first time implementing analytics in this particular app. I mentioned to them that I've been doing analytics implementation on various apps at our company for years, but our current apps' analytics setup is the most intense and this will be a good learning experience for me to dig into.

They responded by sending me code snippets of existing analytics implementations to help me. Not hidden or lesser-known classes, very obvious ones I already had open and was working off of. With advice like "just search the codebase for 'analytics' and 'trackPage''" lol.

I like this person a lot, but this definitely caught me off guard. It felt like something her obtuse manager would do, but not her. This would probably not be a big deal to most but I'm so used to being given unsolicited/unhelpful/irrelevant advice from male devs, and having to be pleasant and thank them, this one was tough to witness.

How do you respond to unsolicited "help"? Does it bruise your ego the way it bruises mine? lol

!dev

This has been an eventful week I guess. Not a happy week, however.

A friend of mine passed last Thursday. We weren't too close, but we were still friends, and he was very close to a couple other friends of mine. He'd always had health issues, but he was only 19. He hadn't been out of high school for a full year.

Then I just found out today that another friend of mine got arrested for shooting and killing someone this past weekend. I don't know many details about what happened, mutual friends are saying it was self-defense. He's never seemed like the kind of person that would just murder someone, but shit happens.

Accidentally dropped my Pixel 3 this morning, which I bought just a week ago. 😭 And now there's a visible crack on the back of the lower-left corner. 😭 Thought that was the only one until I inspected my phone again and noticed a long, fine crack along the back... 😭😭😭

Man, whatever happened to the days when it was PHONES that smashed walls and floors instead??

And in case you're wondering, yes I have bought a case for it--still waiting for it to arrive...

Damn bro Vue 3 sucks actually. It's just a big function now with arguments like "`this` can be sometimes confusing when TypeScript is used." - hell no, my component was a class and this was the fucking class. nothing was confusing about this.

It's all a clusterfuck of magic now, I don't see why writing `ref(5)` or `return { all of your shit }` after `setup() { complete business logic inclusive functions here }` is better.

I was so looking forward to all the improvments, but why do we need these 3 apis with actually no difference, tried to be explained by the same image of colorful blocks in every single fucking article?

what happened to methods? am i seriously supposed to return them from a function? that just feels wrong.

Feeling sad and disappointed during a really intense sprint. Have been working for the past year on a web app made with fucking jQuery. I fixed a lot of bugs, and caused quite a few of my own.
And all this happened because I was desperate when looking for a job. I was too afraid to take my time and find something better. I just took the first offer I got.
I'm thinking of quitting, but why should I do them a favor? I'll stay and keep getting paid until they kick me out.

This is the most wtf thing that happened me with Javascript, I had a regular expression and it caused bugs only with 4 digits long words, then I just noticed this:

/^.{3}$/.test(null) // false
/^.{4}$/.test(null) // true

What the fuck, I can't believe that who designed the .test method didn't think to avoid null coercion

This just happened to me.

Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What

In my free time I like to compile android ROMs for my device, and I couldn't get my favourite ROM, CarbonROM to compile, it was wining about a c file in a directory and I used a different repo, no sound after compiling but hey, at least it worked right?

Turns out there was a new commit that had messed up the compiler, and this commit was live for about 10 minutes, and I just so happened to be repo syncing at that time.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

Has it ever happened to you that you don't feel like doing anything at all? And you go in a loop of procrastination and then end up wasting just another day of your life?
I don't know how do I get out of this ...
don't feel I have a passion to do anything in life now 🥺

Just found out today that may FINALLY be able to start charging for the development work our team does. 😎

Just have to wonder why this could have happened ages ago.

**Spoilers**
It was the sales team. That's why!

Normally I don't give a shit when I lost a job opportunity.

But dude, this year everything is bad as fuck. I moved out (yet again) to marry and start a new life.

And as I said a previous Rants, I got a client that just made me lost another client when they started to get shady. For almost a god dam month now, I can't find even a crappy job.

This never happened. I got more than 10 opportunities. A handful of interviews, a few tests and none of them gave me a job.

Now I have one week to get married.
The money I saved whent to all expenses. And now my anxiety is kicking in like it never did in years.

I really don't know what to do and I
can't fucking sleep.

Hi all,

This might be a long post so bear with me. I work for a company and there was a project for a huge client. I'm junior in skill (been programming for about two years) but my job title doesn't reflect that. Anyways, I got the design about a month ago but I was on deadline for two other projects so I couldn't pick it up until last week Wed. Ironically, that's when the final design was delivered & told me it was due next week Wednesday. I built it as fast as I could. Finished mobile but for some reason, this last part for desktop just wasn't working out and it just so happens to be the most crucial part of the piece. (I was also sick the entire time and didn't sleep for the last two days nor did I eat). I was supposed to demo it yesterday but I still needed to make a few updates and the project coordinator took me off the project & gave it to a dev with more experience. This has never happened to me before. I'd go as far as to say this is my first big fuck up. I've always delivered on deadline and I'm taking this pretty hard. Has anyone been in similar situations? What do I do? Any advice?

Consistent theme:
Me: hey, we should really do/use X
Someone above me: Nah we don't need it/we already use Y

1 week later (or less):
SAM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we should start using X

This has happened 5 different times already. 2 of them were security related and only talked about after our infosec guy brought it up.

Don't dismiss ideas your interns have just because we're interns, we might have good suggestions.

This happened at the beginning of my first job:

Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
Me: 😓

Anyone ever heard this Google Home Easter egg before? It's apparently a Halloween thing, but it happened to my GF yesterday without her ever saying anything.

Voice command: OK Google, I'm home.
Assistant's response: Welcome home. I've been doing my best to hold down the fort. But it just wasn't the same without you

I don't want new features or updates anymore. Almost every OS gets bloated with new features I don't want, while also breaking backwards compatibility and a working setup.
Phone? Apps not compatible anymore since update or just disappearing from the phone.
Computer? Often unstable updates, and since this has happened many times before I try to delay updates as long as possible but then caves in from the annoying update notifications.
Would love to get security updates, but come on, stop it with the bloat apps. Let me just uninstall the features I don't want and let me opt in instead. Make it possible to build extensions and plugins to customize behaviour. Why does software have to spoil like this?

Almost died few minutes ago. My laptop was plugged to power, while I was using it, for last one hour. Then power cut and my laptop went off too. I was really afraid. Just 9 months ago I purchased a new battery for my laptop. When power came back, and I restarted my laptop, to check status, it was saying "Plugged in. Not charging" on windows. Now I was in serious shock. "Fuck battery died again. This time so soon". Also no red light which reflects charging but white, which reflects "laptop running on direct supply". It gave me some indication when it stopped showing red light during charging for last couple of days

I removed the battery and reinserted it. Replugged the charger. Now it's charging. And red light is back

This makes me even more serious. As similar to this, is what happened with me last time battery died.

Now let's see whether my laptop battery is going to see this night or not. Next few hours are crucial

Ahh, Unity’s “Wheel Joint.” Who knew it had “polarity.” I spent good several f*<king hours debugging this $h!+ just to find out I just placed them backwards on a 2-D car. Instead of the joint turning the wheels, they were trying to “turn the chassis.”
This meant the chassis received an impossible force which would rip it in half in real life. Of course, this was a unity game, so what happened instead was the physics engine flipping out which sent the car into the air!
I guess it was good for some lulz, but it took way too long to debug. I guess it’s time to take a little time off of that project.

So this just happened. Certainly takes the cake for job recruiter experiences.