Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.

We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.

Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.

Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD

Yeah we're quite random 😆

Poor guy buying the machine gets gross coffee

Love it! Though sadly penguins don't fly :(

But penguins cannot fly 🤔

@Flygger was faster 😅

Please ask the local zoo if they have 100 spare penguins

How about we build 100 personal helicopters for penguins so we can have a fleet of flying postal penguins.
Or maybe it's just autonomous drones with penguins strapped to them?

@Aporue-Sutol But would it then be a coffee machine delivery or a penguin delivery? Or a coffee machine delivering penguins delivery? 🤔🐧

@Forside Maybe the drones aren't actually autonomous, but are wired into the penguins' nervous system? A fleet of flying postal cyberpenguins, with carriers specofically designed for coffee machines.

@Aporue-Sutol I'd say it depends which of them the coffee machine is attached to...

@Flygger Why not all of them?
"Mummy, why is that cloud buzzing?!"
*Mother raises head inquisitively*
"Sweetie, get inside..."
*Postal cyberpenguin swarm gets closer*
*Screams erupt throughout the country as people frantically try to figure out what's happening*
"What are they carrying?!?!!"
"Is it a bomb?"
"I.. I think.. I think it's a coffee machine that makes gross coffee...."

@Aporue-Sutol Cyborg penguins flying through the air, connected to each other... IS THIS SKYNET??

@Forside ABORT THE PROJECT, I REPEAT, ABORT THE PROJECT. WE CAN NOT ALLOW THE PENGUINS TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH.

@Aporue-Sutol Poor guy will never receive his coffee machine :(

@Forside I guess it could just be sent through the regular postal service

Why not just deliver it in a cat home.. i mean box, by drone?

@Aporue-Sutol You have ridiculous ideas man. Never take it the easy way.

@Forside yeah, you're right. So what if we got a couple of swallows and some string...

Is converting a standard model penguin into a cybernetic flying drone penguin with fricken lazers considered a form of animal cruelty?

@Wackoo That's a very good question... According to Wikipedia, Animal Cruelty is "is both the unintentional and the intentional infliction by humans of suffering or harm upon any non-human animal, regardless of whether the act is against the law."

The penguins wouldn't suffer, because they'd be sedated for any and all operations, so that's good.

I'd say they wouldn't be harmed either, merely enhanced. Chances are they'd enjoy their new abilities!

So I think we're in the clear. Don't let PETA or anyone else know though... I've noticed they disagree with my ethical antics in animal enhancement.

@Aporue-Sutol @Wackoo I'd call it enforced evolution!

@Forside I like it! Strong, alliterative, not too descriptive. Sounds good to me

@Aporue-Sutol let the conversion begin. I'll head down to Phillip Island and pick up the first batch of penguins.

@Wackoo Sweet. I think I've got the neural implants functioning, but I've yet to test on a penguin, only my younger cousin. He's still breathing, so I think it should be okay, so long as the penguin-oriented modifications work.

@Aporue-Sutol great. Now all we need are the drones, fricken lazers and raspberry pi's to control everything. Oh and the coffee machine.

@Aporue-Sutol we also need seditives for the penguins.

Summoning Tux

@Wackoo If you can get the sedatives and the pis, I've got a fricken lazers supplier, and access to a few hundred powerful drones.

I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is we've had a set back with the raspberry pis. They sent the wrong type. The good news is that they tasted delicious.

In the beginning I thought you were about to send it via Internet using POST /coffee%20machine HTTP/1.1

@romangraef it works kinda like the food generator on Star Trek, but it only makes shit coffee

@Aporue-Sutol @linuxxx the comments on this rant have made it one of my all time favorites