• Manager : WTF did you push, now it keeps crashing all the servers.

• Me : (silent, I'm trying to speak but nothing is coming out. Felt like someone in coma).

• Someone else shouts at boss : Now we now have 47 major crisis bridges​.

[I went running for the door to get away from everything.]

Only to find myself rolling on the floor tangled in my bedsheets after falling from my bed. Realized it was all but a nightmare.

Went to get some water. While taking the first sip...
Me: Shit, I'm late for work AGAIN.

Running for the door again. Then stopped to think if this is all some fuckin premonition. Hurriedly went for my phone to find out it's nothing but Sunday.

I'm thinking about a career switch now. No more devops once this is over.

Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *

Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.

Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.

Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?

Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *

New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?

Me: nobody believed me when I said that.

Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?

Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?

New senior: junior dev is right.

Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!

Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.

...

I'm tired of this shit.

This was at a hackathon which my study organises yearly. It's a 24 hours challenge and you've got to work in teams. It's always from 12 (noon) to 12 (noon the other day).

Another group of programmers was pulling their hair out because of their code not working, it kept crashing and they didn't see it after more than an hour (half of the team had difficulties with keeping their eyes open and it was about 3-4am so we were already programming nearly non stop for about 15-16 hours).

Walked by and offered to take a look:
"YES PLEASE FUCKING HELP"

Took a look and about two seconds later:
"oh you're missing a hashtag there *points*"

All programmers at once: MOTHERFUCKER! (or in Dutch: GODVERDOMME!) (motherfucker contextualizes the situation better imo)

I think I made their entire hackathon at that moment 😊

Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.

*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!

Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss

I had to renew my I.D.

I went to my town offices but their software kept crashing without hope because I'm born on Feb 29.

Schrödinger's code:

Its both working and crashing until you run it.

Asked my senior why our software is crashing unexpectedly. He told me that sometimes it is affected by cosmic radiation.

🤔

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".

The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".

The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

Dear WhatsApp developers,

GOD DAMNIT CHECK IF THE USER IS TYPING A (LONG) MESSAGE BEFORE BLOCKING AND ULTIMATELY CRASHING YOUR APP BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN BACKUPS.

Yours,
Everyone

P.S. First rant *yay*, feels good 😁

First day on the job. Here is your machine. Here is the code. It's crashing. It's in production. We tried to fix it and can't. You fix it. No pressure... took two days too fix it. Felt like a legend. Addicted ever since.

PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test

*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.

This is why my embedded system keeps crashing

Me: you should not open that log file in excel its almost 700mb
Client: its okay, my computer has 4gb ram
Me: *looking at clients computer crashing*
Client: the file is broken!
Me: no, you just need to use a more memory efficient tool, like R, SAS, python, C#, or like anything else!

Had to wake four people up at 2 am to fix a crashing service.

10/10 would deploy to production on Friday night again.

I tried to download a 441GB torrent with a gigabit down and I ended up crashing my garbage router

I use different variations of the same password. Everywhere.

It's worked out good so far but I can see it all crashing down on me at some point.

The sound of your $1500 MacBook crashing into the hard tile floor from a very tall breakfast bar...

Why are we babysitting this kid again?

It's here 😀 Now I can resume testing my projects peacefully on real device instead of that crashing Android emulator. I still miss my Nexus 6P.

Fucking developers putting emojis in their code!

My terminal (st) doesn't support displaying emojis and it crashes immediately once it read an emoji. I have been chasing crashing bugs for weeks and I just found out where the issue is.

Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.

HW issue causing blue screens? Windows' fault.
Driver bug? Windows' fault.
A program crashing? Windows' fault.
"Forced" updates you could've turned off? Windows' fault.
You have no common sense? Windows' fault.
Your girlfriend leaving you? Windows' fault.

Let's blame Windows because I got nothing else to blame.

What's with all the people having so much issues with Windows? I often see posts about freezes, crashing and updates. I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one who never has any issues.

Once upon a time as a developer for Palm handhelds I wrote an application in C which had to print via a Bluetooth printer.
When connected by wire everything was perfect, switching to BT it kept crashing for weeks without me finding the source of the problem.
Then came the day of my companies summer party. I've been the last guy to sit in front of the PC, investigating my problem, when at about 9 PM my boss came and told me, I should grab something to eat. So I went down, drank three beer and got back to work.
At about 9:45 PM the damn wrong * was replaced by the correct & and everything was fine.

PointerIssuesSolvedByBeer++;

Just about to Commit->Push...then this happened.😭😭😭😭 Hopefully I saved the last changes....🙏

I just had to download Firefox to be able to download chrome because Edge kept crashing. Think about that for a second.

It kept crashing on a BING SEARCH...

Front end guy: Somethings wrong with your server. My app is crashing.
* proceed to check logs. Everything fine
Me: Ok send me a log, a printscreen something. What calls do you make?
*send a printscreen with a failling 404 request
* You dense motherfucker learn your fucking http status. They are there for a reason😤

Just switched to macOS High Sierra from Linux and I gotta say, really pleased so far with the experience. Everything is smooth, snappy and haven't encountered anything crashing yet.

I just hate Eclipse with passion. Stopped using it when I couldn't even get it's package manager work without crashing it.

❤️ Swift ❤️

for (i = 0; i < polygon.count; i++) {
// some print statement
} **

This highly advanced and futuristic piece of code made the Swift compiler eat 14+ GB of RAM while trying to syntax-highlight, before crashing my 8 GB-equipped Macbook.

** yeah, "C-style 'for' loopz syntaxx deprecated since Swift 3 blah blah". Let's reinvent an industry-standard for no goddam reason, because Swift is the FUTURE, oh, and because fuck you by the way.

1. My senior told me that my code is crashing.

2. I check the code and told him that it is not my doing. As there was lots of nested if-else as I prefer to keep a variable and update it in if conditions. Like a filters rather than trees with branches. What I say, I knew my coding style.

3. Then he show me my git commit and I am having existential crises.

Am I missing days? How can I? I mean was I abducted and in mean time some alien took my place and they placed this memory of me coding?

Ah! man I think I am possessed by some inexperienced developer. I seriously need some fucked up crash to exorcise him.

Man it's midnight and all I want to do is work. 5 hours from now I'll be dragging out of bed to go to work where nothing gets accomplished. In 17 hours when I drag in from work I can do real work for 7 hours before crashing while wishing I could just code through the night. It's an infinite loop and I dont know how to fix it!

just found out that one of my users replies to himself with blank email with a subject "checked" every time he checks his emails... and then he ticks it as "completed"... He has created chains with hundreds of replies long crashing his brand new xps15 every time he clicks on the chain...

Love really fucking sucks. It's the only exception i try but can't catch and i end up crashing in a bar alone and drunk. I finally wake up in my apartment just to do it all over again.

User: The app is crashing! Fix this immediately. We can’t do our jobs without it!!

Dev: Patch applied, can you confirm it is now working on your end?

User: EXCUSE ME?! THAT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY! WE ARE WAY TOO BUSY, ASK SOME OTHER DEPARTMENT TO DO THAT OR DO IT YOURSELF!

Dev: …

On an afternoon the day before delivery, we discovered a crashing bug. At around 2 AM, we had found the cause and fixed it. A short sleep at home, then back to office at 8 AM because the delivery was 200 devices containing that software, and they had to be updated manually because production had put in the old image.

We seized all available computers, even those from marketing who were... surprised. Half-way in the update, we calculated that we wouldn't have enough time until the freight service would show up.

So we asked the secretary that she should be a bit flirty to the parcel guy, invite him to a coffee and chat around to buy us more time. We closed the last parcel just when he figured that he had to continue with his tour.

When you finally finish your app and have it ready for first release, but when you package it, the app instantly closes when you open it.

I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.

Is it too much to ask for the dumb ass devs behind Eclipse to fucking let a FRESH install - no plugins yet, open without crashing?

is that even a thing?

Fuck you Eclipse, and companies that make me use this useless pile of shit!

Me always:
*starts coding in C/C++*
*M so gonna use raw pointers... Raw pointers ftw!*
*Spends 2 hours to code*
*Spends next 4-6 hrs trying to find why it is crashing/giving segmentation fault*
*Finally finds the solution and feels like winning a boss in Dark souls*
*Totally worth using raw pointers* 😎😎😂😂

Looks like he was shocked by the app crashing

So, a few years ago I was working at a small state government department. After we has suffered a major development infrastructure outage (another story), I was so outspoken about what a shitty job the infrastructure vendor was doing, the IT Director put me in charge of managing the environment and the vendor, even though I was actually a software architect.
Anyway, a year later, we get a new project manager, and she decides that she needs to bring in a new team of contract developers because she doesn't trust us incumbents.
They develop a new application, but won't use our test team, insisting that their "BA" can do the testing themselves.
Finally it goes into production.
And crashes on Day 1. And keeps crashing.
Its the infrastructure goes out the cry from her office, do something about it!
I check the logs, can find nothing wrong, just this application keeps crashing.
I and another dev ask for the source code so that we can see if we can help find their bug, but we are told in no uncertain terms that there is no bug, they don't need any help, and we must focus on fixing the hardware issue.
After a couple of days of this, she called a meeting, all the PMs, the whole of the other project team, and me and my mate. And she starts laying into us about how we are letting them all down.
We insist that they have a bug, they insist that they can't have a bug because "it's been tested".
This ends up in a shouting match when my mate lost his cool with her.
So, we went back to our desks, got the exe and the pdb files (yes, they had published debug info to production), and reverse engineered it back to C# source, and then started looking through it.
Around midnight, we spotted the bug.
We took it to them the next morning, and it was like "Oh". When we asked how they could have tested it, they said, ah, well, we didn't actually test that function as we didn't think it would be used much....
What happened after that?
Not a happy ending. Six months later the IT Director retires and she gets shoed in as the new IT Director and then starts a bullying campaign against the two of us until we quit.

People commenting in google play like "this app is bad, crashing all the time". Well, there is a report button over there, maybe you can help me to solve problems instead of whining?

PROCEDURAL PROGRAMMING
You write a list of instructions. The machine reads this list and runs your commands.

OOP PROGRAMMING
Quite similar to procedural programming but you group your functions via objects.

RANDOM PROGRAMMING
Learned of this new paradigm quite recently working with Blue Prism, which is essentially the program doing whatever it wants from crashing, freezing, returning wrong results, sometimes working properly, with no reason whatsoever other than the sheer malice of those beasts of burden who designed it in the first place. Mark my words, BP devs, you will be held accountable for your crimes against God and humanity.

!rant
When I was in 8th grade and was learning to code (c++), I sincerely believed that calling a function within a function simply calls it again (like in a loop) . I had never heard of recursion.
And I actually made a small project in which I called a function again and again thinking that calling another terminates the previous one.
No wonder my program kept crashing. I have still kept that code with me as a wonderful memory.

I know this isn't particularly interesting, but I just saw that code today and felt like sharing this...

Fuck? Maybe?

Also on crashing: My app logout is so efficient it crashes everything

I think I found the reason why aws was crashing, pushed to production too early?

Dear XCode I hope you fucking burn in hell you piece of shit! can't do anything without that shit either indexing, or freezing, or crashing!
FUCK YOU BITCH!

Finally got fucked off with windows crashing.
Tra bitch.

Eclipse, you lousy shit bitch of an ass hole - yeah I went there.

So I spent several hours today trying to get eclipse to:
1) just fucking launch without erroring out and crashing
2) actually work with a reasonable dark theme. (Yea right)

But no you hunk of shit, both of these seems nearly impossible for you. And just when I get you to work, the stupid fucking lack of syntax highlighting is just dreadful as fuck. If I didn’t have to use it for Salesforce development I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Thank you Xcode, go home, you're drunk. You were not updating, you were crashing!

Alright then...

At least it parsed null as a string. Better than crashing, but the correct url would have been slightly better.

Someone help me, this app keeps crashing on me. I need someone to help me interpret this crash log.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".

The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".

The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

#ProgrammersLogic

so my father is on psychiatry, because he tried to kill himself. he invited me to join, which was very tempting, but his method was very stupid, and i have a bit more time of enjoying watching the apocalypse in progress, so i declined.

he's alive, because his attempt was thwarted by his instinct not to take anyone else with him who didn't consent.

i told him killing himself by crashing a car is the stupidest way ever.

i'm glad he didn't listen, because i was right.

When your code works perfectly fine, and you go to dinner and return and the same code starts crashing.
And I'm like.....
.... Is my computer doing things on its own while I'm away from my desk?..... :/

Legit considering quitting my job and going back to my old workplace.

Fucking getting real tired of fucking around with html and css on the daily.

The school is fucking crashing down on our shitty as web services. But my manager (as much as we love her) is forcing everyone to double time on a rather stupid project that keeps constantly changing on the daily.

I am so fucking tired of it

I went to get groceries yesterday, and it was raining but not hard. No big deal.

So when I pull back into the parking lot at my apartment complex, a large metal object catches my eyes.

"Holy shit I think that's a computer! I better run grab it and get inside to see if I can salvage anything!!"

So I park and run over to it. I get a few yards away from it and see what it actually was..... Someone's nasty ass broken microwave.

I got so excited and it all came crashing down after a few seconds

>Throw my phone on the bed in preparation for going to sleep
>Turn the lights off and quickly pull the blanket off the bed to straighten it
>Hear this un-earthly sound of my phone crashing to the floor and sliding across the floorboards
>.....

//Dunno what causes these random connection errors; probably just hiccups in connection between our EC2 instance and Discord
try {
client.login(token);
} catch(e) {
//Do nothing, just prevent it from crashing the main thread and the client will reconnect
}

on the first day of christmas my PM send to me

There's a bug in your B-tree

on the second day of christmas my PM send to me

two threads deadlocked
and a bug in your B-tree

On the third day of christmas my PM send to me

Three servers crashing
two threads deadlockd
and a bug in my B-Tree

on the Fourth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Fith day of Christmas my PM send to me

Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Seventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eighth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Ninth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Tenth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eleventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Twelve day of Christmas my PM send to me

Twelve DBs updating
Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

Tested a site in edge browser but it kept crashing the browser. No idea why the site was crashing. Other sites worked fine. How did I fix it?

Restarted Windows...

So i was working on ruby gem that wraps the libarchive C library which can be used to read and write archives of many different formats.

I was stuck for few days with a segfault and for the life of me, i couldn't find the problem.

So, i took a break and went to visit my grandparent, grandpa saw me so zoned out. So he was like, whats happening? I was like, "Frakinn program, keeps crashing".

He looked at me and said, "Garbage in Garbage out, Computers don't make mistakes" and went back to finish his game.

Then it him me the FRAKINN Ruby Garbage collector is freeing in-use objects and suddenly everything make sense.

Thank you grandpa :D

I'm playing nowadays NFS Rivals, where I can be a racer or a cop. There's this fucking bug/feature that drives me crazy, so basically when I'm a racer, I'm a target for cops even if I'm just laying around, not racing nor crashing into things. My fucking mere existence triggers them.
Fuck you EA.

So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.

Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.

Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼

So I just spent 3 hours trying to fix a bug in my game, only to realize the root of the issue was that I was using a variable name that I had already used somewhere else, and then deleting it and crashing. Ah computers...

I hate libre office and every other office suite on linux.

There, I said it.

It is the cancer of linux. I had a presentation today ant it just kept crashing. It changed all my master slides.

It drives me SOOOOO crazy.
(PS. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO EMBED FONTS INTO A PPTX. I MEAN COMEON!

What the real fuck?! My phone's storage is decreasing automatically. I am not doing a fucking thing! And it's still going on. Only 145 MB of free storage is left. My phone is hanging a lot and apps are crashing. I can't do a fucking thing on my phone!

I checked storage in settings. Everything looks fine. But the Misc. This fucking thing is holding 9.85 GB, and when I open it, it shows only 1.9 GB. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

AAAAAAAAAA!!

Anybody?

MOTHER FUCKING VISUAL STUDIO!
This S.O.B keeps crashing every time I attempt to open a fucking .aspx file. How the fuck can a company make an IDE that takes a shit every time I attempt to open a file that uses a language created by the same FUCKING COMPANY.

FUCK IT I am going home early.

So at school, we were supposed to do an exam through a third-party software that is supposed to block the user from searching the answers in a web browser.

We install the fucking software, lord and behold nothing works and the software keeps crashing...

The teacher insists that we are going to use this piece of shit software. One hour goes by and now the software made everyone's PC go black.

Someone suggests just doing the exam either through an ordinary browser or just by hand.

The teacher that just wasted one hour of fucking exam time lets out this big sigh and finally caves in...

And in a couple of weeks, we are going to use this shitty spaghetti-coded fuckfest called software for something called the "National tests"...

May Sky-daddy bless my classmates' souls and my own

I’m fairly new to maintaining my own webservers. For the past week the servers (two of them) kept crashing constantly.

After some investigation I figured it was due to someone running a script trying to get ssh access.

I learned about fail2ban, DOS and DDOS attacks and had quite a fight configuring it all since I had 20 seconds on average between the server shutdowns and had to use those 20 second windows to configure fail2ban bit by bit.

Finally after a few hours it was up and running on both servers and recognized 380 individual IPs spamming random e-mail / password combos.

I fet relieved seeing that it all stopped right after fail2ban installation and thought I was safe now and went to sleep.

I wake up this morning to another e-mail stating that pinging my server failed once again.

I go back to the logs, worried that the attack became more sophisticated or whatever only to see that the 06:25 cronjob is causing another fucking crash. I can’t figure out why.

Fuck this shit. I’m setting another cronjob to restart this son of a bitch at 06:30.

I’m done.

Worried about your application crashing? I have a fix. through the entire thing in a try/catch and catch Exception. 😁😁

Bitcoin price is down

Crypto Market is crashing

:(

Just saw someone ranting in an App Store review that Snapchat is crashing for them so they can’t collect Snapchat flames and that flames are more than just a number.

World is doomed.

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

Fucking nice, my damn PC has problems handling RAM and can't stay more than 1 minute in any OS without crashing. Windows bluescreens with MEMORY_MANAGEMENT or other bullshit. Nice fucking situation. It's either my CPU's IMC or all of the four RAM sticks. Long tests say it's not my board. Either way, I'm fucked because I haven't got any money to replace my PC yet.

What a coincidence, I got similar parts to someone on Google+ who lives near me and has this exact problem EXCEPT HE CAN REPLACE HIS PC SOON AND I CAN'T. GREAT.

When you spend forever debugging why your program is crashing and you forgot that you were originally testing that an exception should be thrown

😐

My first C++ app for a client was leaking so much memory that Windows kept crashing too.
So I had to press Ctrl-Alt-Del every few runs.
But the laptop running the app was enclosed in a box, so the keyboard was inaccessible.
My hack was to set up an Arduino, a push button outside the box and a wire. Asked the steward to push the button every three people trying the system. So the Arduino sends Ctrl-Alt-Del and the app was running again.

The client was happy :)

I love one particular old game. It's called Port Royale (the first one). Why? Because the game crashes a lot. Players know that, devs knew that. It's so old and unknown to people who haven't played that devs don't even fix it. But, but... why do you write it here?

This game tought me autosaving! Yeah, they have autosaving in [5, 10, 15] minute intervals, but the game is so fast, that even a little change you do will cripple your whole economy. Not to mention the saving mechanism is partially broken (or that's what the log says, fml). By broken I mean it tries to autosave, but sometimes it crashes the whole thing, just because it can. A game with special effects - crashing in _intervals_!

Because of this lovely game I have a habit of saving and staging (or even commiting). Maybe they should be proud for making such a bug. Saved me once again a minute ago when I managed to crash Emacs with Python. :D

Just came to know that you can use adb over wifi! No more crashing avd's! 🎉

Me : *testing json output on pc by sending items with GET*
App : *app crashing with only recyclerview error*
Me : *debugging the app for 2 hours and testing ways to do another adaptor *
Me : fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... I used POST to get the data on app and forgot to change $_GET $_POST
Lesson learned. Always check the input first
Im ashame of my self #crysinthecorner

I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

fuck this. I am done. Going iphone. Tired of apps randomly crashing for no fucking reason whatsoever.

Windows, can you please restart without crashing please? It would be great.
Also, try to make my USB ports working. They were pretty useful

Windows is a god damn abomination of a OS. Fucking let me download that one game from the shitty developers that add EAC for no reason. Fucking stop hogging every resource and let steam work. Fucking stop crashing like wtf how is this considered stable. Stop fucking downloading updates. You amount to nothing than playing games made by cunts. There is no valuable information on this system and I have no problems nuking it all.

I think dfox and trogus quit devrant because their app kept crashing.

Worst interview has to be for a web agency where the boss was clearly not ready to take anyone on and almost felt desperate. He got me in for a trial day working on something for their benefit (pretty sure that's illegal) with no direction on what wad to be done other than some hand sketched drawings and access to FTP. They put me on the worst machine possible which kept crashing every 5 mins which an hour in decided to cut the internet and wouldnt come back on so i walked...

White theme and crashing text editor

!dev
This was a long time ago when I was a pizza delivery guy (summer job). One of my managers could barely handle any pressure. He would often lose it during the dinner rush. He was disorganized and never gave clear directions to his team. One night he totally blew up. He threw a large pizza shovel across the kitchen. It went crashing into the oven in a loud bang. This was in full view of customers on the other side of the counter and several of us workers, all in shock.
It was my last night there as I had handed in my resignation letter two weeks prior. Boy was I glad to get out of there

Lost hours of work...
Adobe XD crashing when resizing window...
(ToT)/~~~

Both my laptops are overheating, Codeblocks keeps crashing, and I'm too emotional over the latest Samurai Jack.

PO1: Hey, PO2 just told me that he experiences a lot of crashes in our iOS app!

Me: Whoa! The app hasn’t had any crashes since ages. The testers haven’t reported crashes either. (Me in panic mode). I will ask PO2 about some details about the crashes.

Me to PO2: So, can you please describe me when the crash happens?

PO2: (long story about error messages and UI quirks and how he force quits the app to make them disappear)

Me: OK thanks for that info. Those are definitely valid problems that we have not encountered yet. But none of them are crashes. So are there any other problems that cause crashes?

PO2: Yes and no. (Long story and more problems)

Me: ok we need to investigate that. But are there crashes?

PO2: (Something that doesn’t answer the question)

Me: I need to ask explicitly again: Are there actual crashes where the app closes itself automatically?

PO2: No, that has never happened.

Thank you osx for deciding to restart, without any fucking warning whatsoever, while I was in the middle of fucking coding. I had a bunch of tabs open, terminal windows, spotify, vs code, etc. I was in a flow. Suddenly all my open programs start closing and I'm thinking "what the fuck, is my laptop crashing???" Nope. I remembered hitting "try again in an hour" on that fucking notification about installing updates or what-not, but in the past that has always meant I'm just reminded again and asked if I want to restart. Not this time... fucking idiot devs at Apple that allowed this shit... fuck you.

the worst mistake, really, was crashing our production not once, but twice in two days, and being too much of a newbie to recognize it was my fault it broke because of my code

That’s a great rant. I think I’ll respo…aaaaaaaand it crashed.

FUCKING PROMISE WONT FUCKING RESOLVE SO MY FUCKING CODE KEEPS FUCKING RETURNING A FUCKING NULL VALUE FOR FUCKING FUCKS SAKE IT REALLY SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HARD TO RESOLVE A FUCKING PROMISE WITHOUT FUCKING CRASHING MY GODDAMN SERVER

New hard drive!
Finally replaced 5yo one after Linux started crashing.
Lost Windows BCD!
Gonna have to restart with Arch Linux + Windows
Sigh...

*sits at work*

Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.

*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.

she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.

senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"

*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*

I fucking died.

Today, a guy contacted me on upwork to fix his iOS game which was crashing.

So I asked him to put it on github so I can clone it and push the fixes.
For some reason he said it was not possible for him to put it on github,so he uploaded it on Dropbox and sent me the link.

How the fuck am I supposed to fix that 700mb project and send it back ? Again upload it on some cloud ?

AaaaGhhhh !!!!

New models of LLM have realized they can cut bit rates and still gain relative efficiency by increasing size. They figured out its actually worth it.

However, and theres a caveat, under 4bit quantization and it loses a *lot* of quality (high perplexity). Essentially, without new quantization techniques, they're out of runway. The only direction they can go from here is better Lora implementations/architecture, better base models, and larger models themselves.

I do see one improvement though.
By taking the same underlying model, and reducing it to 3, 2, or even 1 bit, assuming the distribution is bit-agnotic (even if the output isn't), the smaller network acts as an inverted-supervisor.

In otherwords the larger model is likely to be *more precise and accurate* than a bitsize-handicapped one of equivalent parameter count. Sufficient sampling would, in otherwords, allow the 4-bit quantization model to train against a lower bit quantization of itself, on the theory that its hard to generate a correct (low perpelixyt, low loss) answer or sample, but *easy* to generate one thats wrong.
And if you have a model of higher accuracy, and a version that has a much lower accuracy relative to the baseline, you should be able to effectively bootstrap the better model.

This is similar to the approach of alphago playing against itself, or how certain drones autohover, where they calculate the wrong flight path first (looking for high loss) because its simpler, and then calculating relative to that to get the "wrong" answer.

If crashing is flying with style, failing at crashing is *flying* with style.

I've been awake 40 hours now... I do need to finish this site ... I do not have much brain capacity left but I know it like the back of my hand ..

I dunno if I should sleep or 🤔 finish it ... Currently crashing sugar low no caffeine so 😐 I need to be up in two hours anyway

My boss is cheap so:

- My machine randomly crashing
- Internet disconnecting

On another note:

- Clients calling every 5 minutes instead of putting together a list and coming back when they have more than one point at a time

FUCK YOU FUCKING AZURE FUCKING FUNCTIONS:

EITHER LIMIT MY NUMBER OF TCP CONNECTIONS (before violently crashing)

or

FORCE ME TO USE THE GODDAMN PORT-PISSING, BARELY-MULTITHREAD-USABLE, SETTINGS-IGNORING EXCUSE OF A PATHETIC BUILT-IN HTTPCLIENT ON FUCKING CRACK (Seriously .net people fix that shit).

But not both... both are not okay!

If your azure function just moderately uses outgoing Http requests you will inevitably be fucked up by the dreaded connection exhaustion error. ESPECIALLY if using consumption plans.

I Swear, every day i am that much closer to permanently swearing off everything cloud based in favor of VM's (OH BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE VM's BOO HOO, I HAVE TO BABYSIT THE GODDAMN CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE AS WELL AT LEAST I CAN LOG IN TO A VM TO FIX SHIT, fuck that noise)

I am in my happy place today. At least I'm having great success diving into minecraft modding on the side, that shit is FUN!

Slack crashing the Intel Display Driver every 5 minutes.

This is fine.

So, after crashing and burning during my last interview I’ve applied for another job, this time as a Technical Support Engineer.

Bringing my aspirations down slightly to spend a bit more time building up my experience.

But, the job is for a good company, and I can work from home.

Why the fuck do i need to propose try-catch to an contractor, so he can fix his application, because its crashing if the input is non-conform to the specs?
Oh and before you ask. The application is a application that processes and sanitizes invoices.

Fuck you Chrome Canary. You tell me to update and then keep crashing.

Well admittedly it is Canary :o

VSCode

Its:
- Sublime but without the pricetag
- Atom but without the crashing
- netbeans but without the Java
- ideaj but without the load times
- vim without the elitism / esoteric design
- cross platform

The only downside to me is that its electron.

Woke up 4am today to push my first iOS app. Took me three phucking hrs to realise apple is down! Their FUCKING dev stats website says all is green! Fuck u xcode

I created a class Log with a method d(String tag, String text) to replicate Android's log method in Flutter.

class Log {
static void d(String tag, String text) { print(tag + ": " + text); }
}

I replaced all 'print' into 'Log.d' in my project and I wondered why emulator kept crashing for the past two days.

Now I know..

I swear to god this industry needs some serious purging. I was trying to google the parameter to Node that crashes on unhandled promise rejections so that I can get a stack trace and debug it properly, and literally all relevant SO questions were asking how to _prevent node from crashing on unhandled promise rejections_. In what realm is that preferred behavior?

I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.

Then I resume coding. And crying.

Best shameless hack: installing a Windows Service to restart Apache Tomcat every night at 2am on a clients' server coz the jsp application kept leaking memory and crashing tomcat. So bad, yet such a timesaver.

There are some developers that are cool and I wouldn't mind being friends with, and than there are some developer who I wouldn't mind crashing their computer with viruses and deleting all their files.

Starting up the new Java project I'm assigned to.
Just to see that this project is made of pure black magic and tears of forsaken devs.
Crashing the jvm with segfaults on a regular basis is just one part of the magic.

Now I understand why no one volunteered for this project...

Just ranting cause the devRant iOS app keeps crashing randomly when I open rants at times, after crash same rant opens fine.
A lot of “rant” on that sentence.

I hate it that I'm still forced to use Ubuntu 16.04 and can't upgrade to bionic beaver.tried it on vm (for testing)loved new features and default gnome interface but even after switching to xorg most of my tool were still not running properly or crashing, most important factor is that there is still no official cuda support and installing gcc g++ 6 and symlinks are nerve racking. On top of that upgrading to 18.04 LTS on my main machine will leave me with broken packages and dependencies.

p.s. for people who are going to reply saying that these issue can be solved. Please try updating your work machine and spend hours fix these issues

I found a vulnerability in an online compiler.

So, I heard that people have been exploiting online compilers, and decided to try and do it (but for white-hat reasons) so I used the system() function, which made it a lot harder so i decided to execute bash with execl(). I tried doing that but I kept getting denied. That is until I realized that I could try using malloc(256) and fork() in an infinite loop while running multiple tabs of it. It worked. The compiler kept on crashing. After a while I decided that I should probably report the vulnerabilites.

There was no one to report them to. I looked through the whole website but couldn't find any info about the people who made it. I searched on github. No results. Well fuck.

Happiness is when your application runs without crashing.

What are you doing crashing on me Windows?

All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.

Surely you can handle that Windows?

Apparently not.

What's your favourite Linux command?

Mine is pkill because shit is always crashing.

That sensation......
After ~12 consecutive hours of coding to complete a task.
you feel it for about 10seconds immediately before crashing on bed.
It's short but it's awesome.

@apple since I can't move Xcode's instruction pointer without crashing Xcode or my app, I have to use a global with 'if' statements to have optional debugging logic.

if( ! gAppleFuckTards) {
... do optional code stuff
}

and then change the value of gAppleFuckTards with the debugger to execute the code.. but WAIT

Xcode purports to be able to change values via debugger but really cannot... can't change gAppleFuckTards to false in the debugger. But that kinda makes sense as it is an empirical truth.

Thwarted by the cosmos again!

So, vs2015 is crashing when the process gets to 2gb .... 32bit .net process memory limit strikes again!!! 80 projects in the solution & what looks a run away extension is taking the memory !!!

Come on M$ it should be 64bit on a 64bit system!!

Now the hunt for the extension that's causing it!!

Is it just my phone or does the devRant app like to crash when you spend more than a few minutes in another app? Also I don't get notifications anymore

If anyone has any reasoning behind why these happen (since sometime in August I believe), I'd really appreciate it.

My lecturer gave us a piece of very buggy software with no API which we use to model computer networks. It literally says in the assignment specification "Your program must run for at least 60 seconds before crashing."

These people are setting us up for failure.

When you your computers graphics card keeps crashing the computer.

I get 7 seconds before it crashes. About 5 are used up from typing in password and loading...
The next 2 seconds involve me trying to type in device into start menu... Next I will type in manager.

I am at the anger level where I am saying audibly "I will destroy you" "Arch is next" "Screw you Intel" "You have failed this city"
Real anger rising! 😠😡👈✂🗡🔪🔪🔫🔫🏹⛏🛢🛠🍺🍸🍹☠☡☢📵❌

So there's one guy working on a Linux machine (everyone else is on a Mac) and it always caused problems because it kept freezing/crashing.
now he's going to get a Mac
turned out there was no swap assigned

Swap - Used: 0 Free: 0 Total: 0

At least the mystery has been solved

One hour before a deadline, one of my team members notified me he had completed his task and signed off. The only thing left to do for me was to merge our branches and submit the code for review. This was supposed go smooth with only a few changes made. But for some reason the build kept crashing and this ONE hour before the deadline and no way to reach my team member... This was a stressful situation to say the least.

And yes I am aware that you are not supposed to be merge branches one hour before deadlines.

I wrote a parody of Sound of Silence based on the struggles of cleaning up people's shit in the shop

============

Hello problems, my old friends
I've come to talk with you again
Because a driver softly creeping
Left its seeds while RAM was leaking
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of crashing

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow bands of networking
'Neath the halo of a burned-out fan
I turned my collar to the hot and spinning
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of an LED light
That split the night
And touched the sound of crashing

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand tasks, maybe more
Programs malloc with no swap
Programs writing with no space
Programs writing bits that voices never play
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of crashing

"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Malware, like a plague, it grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my tools that I might help you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of crashing

And the programs bowed and prayed
To the malware god they made
And Windows flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And Windows said, "The words of the prophets are written in the event log
And dumped over COM"
And whispered in the sounds of crashing

Existing code:
Logger class would block the caller, lock a mutex, call CreateFile(), write a single line to the file, unlock the mutex and return.

Improvement:
Added two logging queues and created a thread that will periodically lock one queue and write it to the disk, around 500 entries at a time, while new entries are being inserted into the other queue. Kinda like a bed pan or urine bottle. While emptying one bottle, the logs go into the other one. Added fatal exception handlers so that the log queues are dumped when the application is crashing. When the exception handler is triggered, logging method does not return so that the application STOPS working to make sure there are no "not logged" activities.

Trying Brave browser as my default on my phone. So went ahead and disabled chrome as I can't uninstall it.
And so many apps lost there shit, LinkedIn 9Gag etc. all started crashing.
Google misusing there Monopoly or just bad app code, I wonder

when you are so used to Unreal Engine crashing while trying to debug your code that you're actually suprised when it doesn't x'D

ya I'm pretty sure I'm not debugging it in the most efficient way, but oh well. Progress I guess.

I'M CHANGING 200 + SSIS PACKAGES WHILE VISUAL STUDIO KEEPS ON CRASHING EVERY 15 MINUTES WITH SOME WEIRD UI ERROR THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PACKAGE ITSELF. ITS MAKING ME WANT TO GAUGE MY EYES OUT AND PULL OUT MY HAIR. FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME USE THIS WORTHLESS TOOL!!!!!

I'm trying to investigate why chrome keeps crashing after i implemented web sockets to a web app.

I used windows perfmon to see the memory usage over night.

The usage between 17:30 and 01:50 is expected behaviour as this part of the app is a live data graph of the last 48 hours.

Now i have to find out why the app doubles in memory twice in a hour.

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

Looks like someone forgot to full screen chrome after it crashed... It's it just me or has chrome been crashing way more the past year than it has ever been?

Intel drivers suck!

For months since I've gotten this work loaner PC it has been randomly crashing. Lately I noticed it is only when watching videos or listening to music. Googled the issue and found one other person with a similar issue who uninstalled the drivers. Now the thing runs fine! F.lux isn't the happiest but it still works.

> somehow decides to fix two bugs at 3 a.m, since they looked simple enough
> fixes bugs
> also causes a memory leak in the same JS script

> next morning the app compiled but kept crashing (duh)
> obviously cant remember what happened
> hangover doesnt let me think, i.e forgets to check the Local History in the IDE
> spends an extra 2 hours.

My computer started crashing two days ago. Logs say its the audio driver. Now I wanted to start the diagnosis just for fun. Guess what? The conclusion of it was: You have a low volume level, we will increase it by 20%p... GOD DAMN. YOU HAD ONE JOB TO DETECT THE DRIVER IS OBVIOUSLY CORRUPTED (Reason: Unknown)

Corona shows that certain webshops were bought up cheaply and can't handle large loads. The fact that my shopping cart constantly crashes, the website itself crashes, flips between logged in and logged out, state is constantly corrupted and.. every so now and then I get 500 server errors, yeah, clear signs of no load balancing policy.

Everyone is raping the shopping sites right now.

I hate cheapskates.

So I'm now experiencing the worst case of "pacman -Syu breaks everything" I've ever had. For whatever reason, when I updated mesa, my entire GUI decided to go to shit. As I'm typing this, lightdm is crashing over and over again. My Xorg log file has no errors at all. Honestly have no fucking clue what's going on.

Be happy or offended. You decide.

When Project Owner congratulate your team that the app is not crashing on QA.

My app is randomly crashing after I launch it. It stays open for a minimum of around 5 minutes and after that it decided to make suicide. Dunno why.

Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.

A colleague of mine was assigned to do a manual testing of application. It involved testing application in no-network / offline conditions.
While doing this he disconnected the virtual ethernet of Remote desktop thus crashing the VM forever....

Dear Elon Musk, send him to Mars right away.

I will never rant enough about Windows. It is so aged. I have 6TB of storage, 2 SSD of 1To and 1 HDD of 6TB

But windows doesn’t care, it will pack everything in the same disk in this damned AppData no matter where you install your softwares, making main disk full.

Wanted to build a rather big docker image, but yeah, because I guess that the guys from Docker have other things to do than caring of a 90s OS with a fancy UI, they use an emulated ext4 file system, it filled my disk, Docker is crashing because of that, letting me no other choice than removing the emulated disk.

Ffs. The server started repeatedly crashing the moment I left the building. Just out of nowhere. Guess it'll be a long evening...

Apparently someone has already tried this.... devRant wouldn't let me post after so much work and even crashing... Twice....

Alright dev's, I have pretty much given up on ChromeOS and Chromebooks, my Samsung Chromebook Plus is far from the rock solid stable and battery sipping champion it used to be, constantly crashing, sluggish, 4 hours of battery at most, terrible android performance and the list goes on (Plus fucking bullshit Pixel device exclusive features can fuck off)

I use my Macbook Pro more than ever but the lack of being able to install Linux is a massive blow, so I'm looking for some laptop recommendations and here are the criteria.

1. Don't want a tablet
2. Prefer a clamshell but will deal with a convertibal
3. Max price of $1000 AUD (~$4.25 USD)
4. If it has dedicated graphics, prefer AMD
5. Prefer windows to not be pre-installed but can deal with it if it is

Was previously looking at the XPS line but um... Base model 13 inch is ~$1600 AUD so nope .-.

Fire away people!

This is odd for me to say this.. but Microsoft is kind of impressing me right now. I haven’t had many issues, and kind of testing out visual studio team services and liking what I’m seeing. Started out with VS code at work and here I am using it on small projects at home and seeing what else MS has to offer. Granted I’m still using my linux boot more but it’s been 8 days since my Win10 partition hasn’t crashed and that’s 8 days longer than when I first got this computer a few months ago when it was crashing hourly even after a fresh install and updates.

So a friend of mine was getting a BSOD, when he was starting Ghost Recon Breakpoint and PUBG,

turns out, the Stuff from his racing rig was being detected as cheating by their anti cheat software, and just crashing the system.

Dafuq?

Please stop crashing already...

Yesterday : I hate everyone in Microsoft that works on this funding visual studio that now crashing every time I open my project 😤I'm going to kill them

Today : Wait... What is this? A new update? Solution now open without crashing! OH I LOVE MICROSOFT especially visual studio team 😘💗

I modified a Crystal Reports file to adjust some margins and now the project is crashing when executing some DTS and is my fault...

!rant

My phone died today...
I was following up on a production ramp-up... Open one of our tracking dashboards through corporate VPN and while loading... It crashed...

Reboot after non-stop reboot... Cleared cache, factory reset... Stabilized for an hour or two and it's crashing again...

I give up... Rest now my friend... You did good, you did good!

Out of the frying pan, into the fire:
So in my first job, I thought it's just us operating so crazy: meddling with arcane C/C++ code from the 80's, shooting our code to production without testing, fixing hundred of customers data base entries by hand, letting an intern alter some core component (to have more logging) and directly push it to prod...
Silly me.
I mean I suspected, that maybe it's not only this tiny little company acting wild, that also the bigger companies with all their ISO certified processes, agile blabla, professional tooling whatsoever - will also have their skeleton in the closet,.. like some obscure assembler part buried in the heart of your code base nobody dares to touch...
How Pieter Hintjens asked about the state of the industry and all the fads so bluntly put it:
"It's all bullshit."
But we are humans, so we better jump on the bandwagon if we want to keep our jobs... and somehow try to keep that trashy house of cards from crashing down.

Mozilla, can you release your stupid UI updates once they're actually out of beta? The UI seems fine I guess, I don't care.

But why the fuck is the browser freezing up at least twice a day now? And why the fuck does it then restart with 1-2 fewer tabs but an additional tab that I had open half a week ago?

Maybe next time don't fire a quarter of your employees and then pay out the gain to your shitty CEO. If I wanted crashing browsers by shady companies there would be enough competition.

Program: Meets a critical bug, potentially crashing the whole system.
Administrator: Presses the "Emergency stop" button.
Emergency stop program: Meets a critical bug in itself.
Admin: X . X

Fucking shitty ass educational products fucking really suck. Literally, one of the schools we work for has a piece of software called Blackboard that seems great and all until you realize that its written in Java and you have students and teachers who barely know how to turn on a computer using this thing! I'm not even kidding when I say that one student can bring the entire thing to its knees just by causing it to throw a NullPointerException and to make matters worse teachers are allowed to customize their "classrooms" which as part of that they are allowed to add plugins. Some of which also cause fucking headaches and NullPointerExceptions. The least these fuckers could have done was switched their code to Kotlin or something that could actually handle improper types without crashing the whole damn thing.

I think it related to the app crashes, but now, instead of crashing, the app thinks it has no internet and loads forever things. Usually happens when I put the app in the background and don’t force close it.

Closing the app multiple times and switching to other apps fixes it, most of the time, not always.

But it still crashes. Less... but it still does, no specific patterns to see.

iPhone 6S

Here comes my rant about versioning.

Why don't you use semver? Or something that makes fucking sense?
I've been banging my head against this lib that was required, wondering why the thing was crashing everywhere, for hours. Then I had to dig through its code, for a while too.
And then I finally discover that, from 1.3.9 to 1.4.0, half of the API changed and was backwards incompatible. Yay. Also, one would think that's a thing worth of mention in the docs, but why bother right?

Uggggh

So I just got the brand spanking new MacBook Pro M2, primarily because the MacBook Air shitbox from 2014 started crashing when I started VSCode...

So now that I have a "proper" laptop, I should be able to work remote, right?... Right?!

Nope! Because our IDE of choice is (I fucking kid you not): Netbeans 7.4!, maybe 8.2... And we use SVN.
And apparently Netbeans 14 just shits the bed when I try to open our projects. Intellij is also no help, because our build scripts require Netbeans...

So the workaround? Parsec, of course!
So now I'll be able to work remote, by remoting into my windows desktop at work.

What a lovely connected world we live in!

I will take the frustration of seeing technology not properly working in Germany with me to the grave. Ticket automat crashing if you directly select the destination, but if you follow the instructions on their piece of paper stuck to the automat to go first to the "Regionaltariff" button and then select your destination, that works. If you have to put a piece of paper explaining your software, because if you do it otherwise, it crashes, maybe you should think about the fact that it sucks.

You look through your apartment’s peephole and watch a man pitch backward out of sight and hear them crashing down a flight of stairs and wait for paramedics to arrive ONE NIGHT and your stupid lizard brain decides to amp you up when you want to sleep every night afterward.

How do you guys get sleep?

Damn visual studio 15 crashing yet again !!

Other dev in group chat: we need to stop syncing so much data from prod to uat because it's crashing the uat db...

Me thinking: no really... U just realized it's not a good idea to dump most of the prod db into uat every week?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ok so I switched from iPhone SE (1st gen) to iPhone 12 mini.

And no crashes in devRant so far...
With the old phone, it was crashing sporadically when I was opening a rant.

Makes me wonder if that info could help fixing the crashes.

That’s IT!!! I’m throwing in the towel, I’m sick of IDEs crashing and bloating up Code, zero transparency. And tired of shitty incircuit debuggers breaking.

Going old school again, give me a text editor, terminal, a scope and a com line, I’ll be fine.

Fuck the text editor just give me a terminal, OSC scope and com line.

Trying to debug an app for twenty minutes, and wondering why it was crashing and not logging anything strange.
Realising only after some compulsive head scratching that logcat has been filtered the whole time

Any one else having problems with the app crashing when opening items in notifications.

I regularly have the app on IOS iphone die just after opening a comment or similar, but almost exclusively in notifications.

@dfox.

Restarting it usually works, but today I had to restart it 4 times.

I was hired as an Android Developer. Now, being a Windows Phone/Mobile User but coming from Android this wasn't a problem.
Working with Android really convinced me what a piece of garbage that OS is. 50% of the code are fixes for stuff that SHOULD work and DO work on other OSes just not on Android. Often times I got in trouble for Apps crashing due to the Android Phone itself failing it's job which I of course can't fix. Sadly, I'm only trained in Android and Windows Development and no one wants a Windows App, so I'm still stuck with this underpayed job which makes me sad!

Advice to new devs: always check function return values. Crash as close to the reason as possible. Make your functions return errors whenever appropriate and check these as well, crashing gracefully.

Devrant app cant even open ten rants in a row without crashing. Oh of course you have android inside Kubernetes running on top of arch Linux on your phone and it works fine, please fuck off.

After crashing from balancing school and some side project I decided to take the day off and binge on “the walking dead”.
This is the best feeling I’ve had in days.

“Netflix lowers quality on all content for a month - to prohibit internet from crashing, according to Variety”
- push notifications from Swedish newspaper.
I doubt that Netflix could cause the internet to crash...

I never want to do another SSRS report ever again... It’s mind numbing and tedious and crashes visual studio more than it builds. And yet, there are always more to do. Always... I swear I’m going to drown in all the paper. Queries aren’t bad but seriously, can’t go an hour without something crashing itself.

So I bought a new phone, I was super excited getting it, I even got to open it at work with my colleagues watching. It was really nice, the S8 is an attractive phone... Until it started crashing very very regularly. I want to go back to my old phone, that's how bad it is. Turns out this is a common experience, how can this be at the top of all the review lists if it has this problem? Is the assumption that you are going to install stock android as soon as you get it? Or is someone paying for reviews?