I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.

I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.

These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.

Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.

All I want to say is:

No time was lost.

This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.

Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.

One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.

You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.

You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.

You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.

You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.

Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.

Please, for the love of code...

Start and fail as many projects as you can.

Holy s**t, I was wondering why my fans were noisy and my computer so warm lately. So I checked inside to see this. The CPU fan is fucking resting on the graphics card like Dr House on his stick.

My recent failure to build a responsive website according to a template tells me I should have worked with CSS a bit more.

The thing is, I write the type of CSS that passes the CSS validation with flying colors, but doesn't work as it should. Am I a minority(I hate that word), in that?

Now I have to redo the website or I'm not passing the exam. Lovely.

"Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

I really appreciate devs that aren't complete assholes when you admit ignorance and embrace failure. Be a teacher, not an asshole!

1. Purchased GTA San Andreas from Google Play
2. Always got a download failure at 85% downloaded.
3. Contacted Google support, got asked how my day was going
4. Had no idea how to answer that

This is why my embedded system keeps crashing

I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me about their updated privacy policy and that I can “opt out.” So, naturally I do exactly this.

After a little bit, I land on their “Do not sell my data” page and discover that, not only does it have 175+ trackers,
it doesn’t even fucking work. Also, on the desktop version of the site, the very control allowing the user to opt out of having their data shared/sold doesn’t even render.

These are all absolutely inexcusable.

Today I learned that "wtf" means "what a terrible failure" in Android development 😂😂

Y’all fcking kidding me right.

System failure

Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:

To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:

Log.v()

Log.d()

...

Log.wtf() 😮😮😮

According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".

WTF?!?!?!

haha okay

I just found out that there is a method in Java/Android called "Log.wtf()" which stands for...

... What a Terrible Failure!
Don't believe me? See for yourselves! (way to go, guys!)

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

the official Android documentation says it stands for "What a Terrible Failure"...sure it does Google, sure it does....

1) Give every challenge a try.
2) failure is always an option.
3) learn from your mistakes.

Client: "I have a problem."
Me: "No problem, can you say me the error message? "
Client: "No I have clicked the message Away... "
Me: 😣🤐

The proper use of comments is to compensate for our failure to express ourself in code.

Quote of the book "Clean Code" by "Uncle Bob".

#ShotsFired

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

"Like Uber fo-"

let me stop you right there, I'm leaving

Debug.Log("Works")
Debug.Log("WORKS")
Debug.Log("WORKING")
Debug.Log("WORKIIIIIIING")
Debug.Log("WORKSES")
Debug.Log("WOREJRIE")
Debug.Log("KILL ME")
Debug.Log("TRUE")
Debug.Log("FALSE")
Debug.Log("I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT FUCKING WORK")
Debug.Log("IF YOU SEE THIS YOU WIN AT LIFE")
Debug.Log("IF YOU SEE THIS YOU ARE A FAILURE")
Debug.Log("FUUUUUUCK")
Debug.Log("FUCK ME")
Debug.Log("EICUEF738DKWIS")

The task failed successfully!

devranters account registration could include coding knowledge test to keep out snooping PMs? but instead of denying them access on failure it could just silently filter them all to their own channel >:)

Early morning I walk in to a build failure email.
"Oh shit! It failed and I'm on the Cc list."
.
"Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Didn't I build it already?" *compulsively launches local build*
*Ctrl-C's current build and feels angry for doubting self*
*Repeats, while trying to replay the incidents of last night in the head.*
"Fuck this. I'm certain I built the module."
.. scrolls email ..
"This is not even my change!"
.. scroll ..
"This is not even my code base!"
*feels foolish, but MAJORLY relieved*

The feeling when you try to be creative on the first commit message but end up using 'Initial commit'...

I hate this country!
This was the third time this month that the power cables got stolen. Looks like it is going to be takeouts and project planning on paper tonight.

Rather than singling out one person, I wanna present what I see as incompetent/stupid/ignorant:
- no will to learn
- failure to follow the very specific instructions & later asking for help when they FUBR sth & not even knowing what they did to fuck up in the first place
- asking how to solve stuff, then ignoring the suggestions & doing sth totally against recommendations
- failure to remember most basic stuff, especially if not writing it down to look at later when needed
- failure to check logs & 'google' stuff before asking why something isn't working the way they want it
- after two weeks, asking me how feature xy works, mind you they coded it, not me
- asking me why they did something in a specific way - WTF, am I a mind reader?! Who designed that crap?! Me or you?!!
- being passive/aggressive & snarky when told to do something or being asked why isn't it done already
- not testing their shit properly
- not making backups when upgrading (production) servers
- not checking the input value, no validation.. even after many many debacles on production with null ref exceptions
- failure to admit they fucked up
- not learning from (their) mistakes

Windows didn't check to see if their update process ran auto starting apps did they.

Falcon Heavy launch coming up!
I can't wait. That's something people should watch, fuck the superbowl!
I would say it's 60% as significant as the moon landing was, if not more; a field of technology we should really focus on, but governments rather spend money on stupid war
Make sure to tune in tomorrow, 18:30 / 06:30pm UTC, on SpaceX's YouTube channel
It's going to be spectacular, success or failure

This isn't really a Dev related rant, more of a life rant. Things have been going pretty badly for me lately, so I apologize if this comes across as complaining or whining.

This morning, I got in a car accident that totaled my car. It was a 1996 Chevy Camaro that I had been fixing up and restoring over the last few years and I had it running pretty well. The accident was my fault and I told the police as much, because I value honesty over screwing over others for my own benefit. Money has been very tight lately because my wife was out of work for the last bit of her pregnancy, so we ended up having to move to a 1 bedroom apartment that I could afford rent on my own. She also has a son who is now 13, so space is pretty tight. Money got even tighter once we had the baby. She's 10 weeks old now.

I've barely made the $1500/month rent on my own here, usually paying 1-2 days late because we're living paycheck to paycheck. Our lease is up at the end of July and they won't let us renew because of this.

The bad part is that I was driving a car that had expired registration because I couldn't fix it to pass the state smog test and my license expired two weeks ago. I haven't been able to afford insurance, so every time I drove, it was a gamble.

I'm now going to have to pay these damages out of pocket for the other car.

We're now having to move into my mother in law's house for about 4 months so we can get out of this financial hole we've gotten into.

I feel like I've failed as a father and a husband.

Equality: no matter what company you are, facing Windows, you will fail!

Is that a message describing windows altogether, or just the copying routines... Can't figure that one out.

Thanks java! FAILURE :java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: OutOfMemoryError thrown while trying to throw OutOfMemoryError; no stack trace available

I've got 99 problems.. And a massive failure of a raid 5 array just added to it.. Meh!

Reminder (and probably some form of repost)

Food and sleep are key parts of human behavior.

I forgot and experienced system failure

At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.

When you wanna join GitHub and fail at choosing a username

My Razer laptop died due to a hard drive failure so i filed an RMA. They didn't have the replacement part in stock, so they're replacing the laptop all together. Mine is a 2019 model with a 2060, but the current equivalent model has a RTX 3070, so I'll get that instead. I'm not complaining 😏

A personal memo to all developers on devRant:

* Assume every external line of code, (including every service you consume) is an unreliable crock of flaming shit. These services can and will fail in the most glorious ways. Write your code to be resilient, and ASSUME FAILURE of dependencies. Even if it's your own team writing the other service.

Heard in a meeting today: "Your team's service outage is going to cause my service to corrupt the database!"

Response I wanted to give: "No, you asshat, my service outage is a normal part of living with microservices. Your app should have been smart enough to recognize the failure."

There is no other way to put this.

My HR manager just sent out her tax declaration sheet containing all her salary details out to the entire company via email.

The worst part, she makes as much as I do yet fails at the one single job she's supposed to do.

"Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft Product."

- Wise Old Man

(Taken from ebtionko.wordpress.com)

When you have to take a rest cause you're tired & exhausted after a day of coding..

..but your code is not done and you feel empty and you feel like a failure..

Make it statistically significant mate! Have fun doing what you love ❤️

I do love u ranters

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Whenever I feel like I’m not good enough at my trade, I come here to read a few rants. While I am a failure, it’s so nice to know there are even more disappointing devs around.

big 2+ years project finally canceled due to failure. About to have a meeting about "the future of the team".
Pray for me.

I am now officially 23 years old.

So many hours of work invested
So many countless blood spilled
So much sweat made
So many years passed
So many projects worked on

Summed up in 0 successful projects

If someone were to ask me to showcase what I had done in 23 years of my life, I cannot show them something that no longer exists. The projects are dead. I cannot even prove my friends what I had done other than blindly say what I had done. But behind the scenes I worked so much and am completely demotivated by all of the pressure from failure. I have actually never felt so bad on my birthday. 2020 really is the worst year ever. I feel like a failure while life is just exponentially passing by.....

I just received a 400€ workstation motherboard like this...

Why I love Salesforce 👀

- Run a test method
- failure: no field found

- checks test, queries field
- checks field security (access permissions) visible to user

- runs test again
- failure: no field found
- adds debug log of queried field

- runs test again
- succes

Thanks, thanks for fucking with me today 🥲

This webdesign is actually painful to look at

Due to hardware failure build server was wiped out.
So all configurations are gone.
- There is no code to recreate builds
- No backups :D

The bright side, we can finally do it right ;)

That horrible feeling when you have to abandon your small project because litteraly nothing works... Even after 2 straight weeks of work, on a single f***ing function... Fml

Normal people dream about shit before they go to sleep.

I, on the other hand, try to formulate a hypothesis that I'm already stuck on for 3 business days, thereby giving myself anxiety, henceforth failure to sleep.

I'm just perfect! 👌🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Months after joining devRant, and seeing all the people with 5000 +1s while I'm still stuck at 400, I think of them as people with gold badges on stackoverflow as I bury deep down into the abyss of my social failure again.

"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

someone posted this saying "tor isn't effective". Tore them a new one and explained how each failure point is only worst-case.

Just got a call from someone claiming to be from an ISP (they assumed we were with them because that ISP is one of the popular options, we weren't) they claimed that someone was using our internet illegally (which they cannot find out from what I know unless it really was an assumption), that were using too much data (we are on an unlimited plan and have fibre LOL)

The nerve of some people, my dad was the one who answered the phone and when he handed it off to me, they hung up LOL.

So in saying that i have their phone number thanks to my router's caller id, anyone want it to sell off to more scammer for some good ol' karma?

Failure is not the problem.

Problem is not admitting and accepting that you failed.

Problem is not learning from your mistakes.

Problem is causing the same damage over and over again.

What's worsens the situation is defending the dumb act.

If you cannot handle failure then not only you stagnate your growth, but you also negatively affect people around you.

Mistakes make you perfect only when you fix them.

When you work hard for something and you are sure that you gonna get it, but some ass licking guy who doesn't even know how to code gets it. Yes, it happened to me. I was working for an open source organization called PROBOT. I was working my ass off to get into GSoC with that organization. I created PR(pull request) after PR and solved most of their issues. But later on, I came to know they didn't even saw my single PR. Life surely teaches you some hard lessons but it's you who should not give up I would say. I do not regret working my ass off and writing those code and not getting into GSoC but I cherish those moments where I learnt many new things. And as for that organization, I would say they don't even know how to manage. This was my exact reaction when the result came

Having to create a catastrophic failure plan for a clients as a company that is 98% remote.

I was fired by a client about a month back. I had spent about a year building a web application using angular.js for said client. Of course, it was my fault because it took about 8 months longer than I had forecasted but I believe what I was shooting for was something solid. I went as far as giving a full refund of the initial deposit on the project. My take away was I learned something new, going in I wasn't remotely aware of such things as CI/CD. Sad thing though they are trying to rebuild the app using wix.

Logging levels: Verbose, Debug, Info, Warning, Error, What a Terrible Failure

We had a major core router hardware failure in our LA datacenter today and every one of our services has been down since 6am, including all production servers. We have about 15,000 sites down across our entire platform. Our manager came over and told us to just go home because we need to replace the hardware and the process is expected to take all day, and we can't do any work until then because all the production servers are down. So you could say that it's been a pretty easy Friday so far! I'm headed home to play Spider-Man

I’m such a failure

I feel like my Uni is setting me up more for failure then success.

One of my courses needed for graduation is only offered in the spring of even years. Can't wait for 2020!

yeah Google, What a Terrible Failure

That moment you receive an email: your CI build is failing.

Ok. What went wrong?

Three new commits that do not seem to alter anything related to the failure.

*reverts commits and tries again*

Still failing.

WTF?!

*restarts previous builds*

They now fail too.

FUCK! BASTARD! Are you kidding me?

*investigates*

Turns out that repo of dependency changed and is not compatible anymore.

Argh! Son of bitch!

Epic failure

Just came across a job description where the first qualification was:

° Smart and intelligent

Really? Do better HR.

Exams of two weeks starts tomorrow. We'll be doing a project. Only, 70 percent will be documentation :/. I'm trying to keep my nerves, fair of failure and everything else as low as possible but that's not particularly working anymore 😞

I let my studies suffer to build a CRM for a company only for them to say they have no money to pay me. I feel like a failure. That was my first ever successful project.

a girl from my class made a presentation and it was really good, and now i'm thinking "how did she do it? what came to her mind that she could prepare such a good presentation?"
and also, "i know that no matter how much i try, my presentations will not be that good, because those are MY presentations"...

Another failed experiment! I'm not giving up!

Dat moment when your contact person phones you and ask If you delete the whole Release Folder...

YEAH SURE I WAS IT BECAUSE I LIKE TO WORK ON WEEKEND

Fyi: FTP with one user for everyone - harhar stupid bricks

GodDAMN, C# 7.0 is so ridiculously feature packed. I can pattern-match inside a predicate on an exception filter. Want to catch ONLY NHibernate's exceptions caused by a SQL timeout? Boom:

catch (GenericADOException adoEx) when (adoEx.InnerException is SqlException sqlEx && sqlEx.Number == -2) { return Failure("timeout"); }

Hmmm Netflix is drunk today eh..

Oh my God I'm a failure. Been working on this booking system backend for two weeks, refactored some code, and now it doesn't work at all.

I've gone back through the entire thing, and I can't find the problem.

Open up indeed, start browsing for low-skill jobs. Maybe the carnies will have me back!

*Re-reads error message, adds missing underscore to function call.

I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.

WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?

"Why would you make your own when you can just get one for like $30 online?"

One of the single most disheartening things I've heard from a peer.

Seriously, are you really so incompetent and dependent upon other people's work that you can't even come up with a single reason why I would do this?! Don't you dare try to call yourself an engineer. Call yourself a cheat, cause that's the only way you passed that class.

Even after explaining that making it yourself is one of the best ways to learn about/understand it, they still couldn't understand.

1) I don't have to talk to other people while doing it.

2) The computer does exactly what I want it to do and failure will always be an error made by me, not someone else. That makes it satisfying.

3) I'm pretty good at it. It's just fun helping other people at school and creating small programs to solve problems.

I just tried to install Linux mint on a SD card from a live system for a friend.
I managed to break his windows partition to the point that neither Mint nor the Windows recovery​ tool could read it and the SD card still won't boot.
I feel like a useless piece of shit and a bad friend.
At least his data is backed up but some of his licenses (Win, Office, ...) might be lost.

Was writing a functional test in AdonisJS that queries an API endpoint with data and my test stays red with a dainty `expected 500 to equal 200` assertion failure.

In frustration, I yelled "What must I fuchen do to get my 500 to become a 200". Then my dev friend, an absolute fuchen genius tells me, "Subtract 300." I hope the prat stays debugging his code for a week!!

"Stop throwing errors in your library! They cause my app to crash"

Who amongst us hasn't hear of the popular maxim: "Fail late even after you know something is wrong, and then make sure the failure cascades over the whole app in mysterious ways"

Why is it management always waits until point of failure for a major system to hear us about replacing systems with updated systems?

Oh God.. This is not how captcha works...

The museum of failure

Shit. My ssd died y-day. Got a new one [970evo] today (tx bro!).

Guess who's gonna spend the night recreating the whole env: ui, scripts, triggers, integrations, tunnels, qemu vms, apps, bkup restores,....

Shit

Oh god what have i done.

Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab

He tells us to try it out at our workstations.

We do. The code does work. We tell him.

He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."

Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?

We were flabbergasted

Why do the HR folks cannot be more passionate about their work. Everywhere I have worked, they don’t pay a lot of attention to how their processes affect their employees.

I had a Visa appointment along with my wife today. The appointment was scheduled couple of weeks back. The email with appointment schedule had the list of documents that we needed to carry.

There was one document which HR folks needed to generate themselves and share to me. Its basically the certificate of employment. Now, I had a Certificate of Employment from last year and I thought that would suffice. But then the Visa lady told me that they needed a latest one(generated in last 3 months). It was very weird for the Visa process since I didnt have to carry that certificate couple of years back. But anyways.

My issue with the HR people is that if there was a need to generate this document from their side, they could have already generated it and shared with me. But no, they will wait for something like this to happen. They will only do this when I had asked about it and then they would have generated the certificate and shared with me.

Similar experience in my previous company, when I moved to Germany couple of years back and the company had arranged for accommodation for me. The building where I had my initial temporary stay, had two entrances and only one of them had the elevator, which was at the back side of the building. My apartment was located on the 5th floor. Since there was no mention of the elevator in the email that I received from the HR folks, I had to carry 6 bags up 5 floors after my 12 hours of flight. It took almost an hour to get all of them up.

All of this could have been easily avoided if the HR folks were a bit more empathetic towards the people they deal with and tried making their life a bit more easy. A little note of elevator, or generating certificates automatically feels the lives of employees so easy and it really avoids a lot of hassle, both for employee and the HR folks themselves.

Old but gold. 😂😂

I fucking hate HR people !

The moment when you are looking at code for a good 20 mins woundering why it isn't working then you realise you havent ran the init function...

Apple is really worried about their huge failure with the i9 6-cores, worried they won’t sell.

How do I know? Well, this...

Have you ever been interrupted because a marketing workmate had a friend on the phone who needed advice on a WordPress hosting, and wanted your advice right now?

Because I have.

When we had a massive server failure and our production environment was down.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people nowadays.

Commits with errors
Commits with errors everywhere

Failure

Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.

Failure

From a job posting I recently viewed:

"About you: We don't care about years of experience or knowledge of particular technologies, if you have a computer science degree; or a degree at all for that matter."

further down in the same posting...:

"Qualifications:
-MS/BS in Computer Science or related background
-2-3 years of front-end development experience with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and related JavaScript frameworks such as Backbone, React, or similar technologies"

........

#whenProdBreaks

$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];

// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);

/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/

$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);

//process the response
$this->process($response);

So yeah, it's cool, I only built a process based on years of experience. Just go ahead and completely ignore it. A failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.

Happy 21 to me.... Hope am able to achieve something this time , except maybe fatness and failure

that moment when I browse the Internet via mobile phone and have to request the desktop version (chrome) because that fucking mobile view sucks AF

What a big fail if I choose the desktop view over the "responsive" one on my small device

I got a feedback saying that I am good at solving problems which are obvious and have obvious steps. But I have to improve a lot where problems are complex or solution is not known.
People, I have 3.5 years of experience in industry and still I am a junior. I am continuously thinking about it. I was a smart person till my school, I never had to work hard I think it is impacting me till now. I sleep so late and work only in the night, get up so late and feel bad about it :( Everyone is doing so good as compared to me.

Sometimes human stupidity still surprises me.

Today I was able to stop the release of a ticket at the last moment that intended to put urls WITH A SECURITY TOKEN TO ACCESS USER DATA through a link shortener.
Some PM assumed that it would be a reasonable course of action to map an url secured via jwt through to a 4 character, countable, base64 string so that we don't have to send multiple sms if they contain this url. I can accept that the implications might slip through one person but the fact that this was put into a ticket by a pm, prioritized by PO, estimated by an entire team, implemented by a professional developer, reviewed by a senior and then scheduled for release without anyone asking themselves if there might be a reason for a security token to be long, that one shocks me.

The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.

the coolest project was mine: a dynamic DNS like dyndns, wrote in scala, an API layer in ruby and a lot of sysadmin stuff like ospf any cast. A big technical success, a total financial failure... but I enjoyed and I learned a lot!

When i first got introduced to programming in highschool, java was the only thing offered. years later i picked up java again to throw together my first project. a 100 lvl java android phone game on my own. needless to say lol it was my utter failure! i remember my phone acting like it was on heroin constantly after install lol fuck that game

Anybody else felt a pressing why crisis leading to procrastination, a sense of impending doom, and and constant failures or feelings of failure.

Spent 45 minutes debugging an issue. I was calling the errorHandler on success, and successHandler on failure. D'oh!

Manager gave me a PHP task today that I straight up could not figure out and I feel awful and like such a failure from just 1 little issue

Here we go again! My ISP had the 2nd network failure in a week 😬

I'm just trying to install a program… Literally FOUR HOURS and over a MILLION lines of GCC warning output later:
==> ERROR: A failure occurred in build().
Aborting...
-> error making: lib32-qt4

Fuck you negative bastard! I really hate when someone "predicts" failure to meet the deadline of some project we haven't started yet. This bastard thinks we will fail only because he is a complete mess at coding and fears learning new things.

My laptop died on Monday. 5 days after it's first full backup in 2 years. I'm almost disappointed it was a power connection issue and not a drive failure

Sat at my desk this morning, computer incredibly slow, lots of error windows saying files could not be found.

I decide to reboot. Post is slow. And that's a HDD failure. I lost half of my storage. Luckily, almost everything is for projects so it's all in the git repo.

So I tried installing arch today. Spent all day trying to fix grub to be able to boot arch,Ubuntu and windows along with Intel microcode working on both arch and Ubuntu. But alas , I could not succeed and I cannot boot into Ubuntu now. I am going to reinstall Ubuntu tomorrow and leave arch for sometime later.

Continuous integration is an example that failure is the piller of success :)

What a great day for hardware failure...

!dev

Sorry if this is a bad read, pretty new to devRant and writing in general.

I can't help but think and think of how much I fucked up my opportunities to completely change my life/financial status a couple of times. Damn.

A few years back (it was 2009, I think) I was playing Diablo II online, helped some random guy get through the hard levels. Normally, in such situation the lower lvl player allowed the higher level guy to grab the valuable boss loot; however this time the guy except sharing the loot with me asked me if I want his spare 2000 bitcoin. I asked if it's of any value, he said "not really".

I said I'd contact him later, when I figure out how this thing works and how to setup a wallet.

Guess what, I was too lazy and forgot about this thing completely. Then we lost contact.

In 2010, I made a comeback to bitcoin, but instead of buying it, I downloaded the bitcoin client, the blockchain (it was 800 mb in size, I remember) and have been contributing by running it on my PC for like a year.

Finally decided to get it ~3 years ago. Bought 2.5 BTC for 400$.

Was holding it, until I fell for the "free OmniseGO" scam and somebody stole them off me.

All of these can't get out of my head.
I visit coinmarketcap literally every hour to see how much I could have now. My girlfriend, friends, family, all fail to cheer me up. I still made a pretty good deal buying 5.5 ETH for 45$ and thats like 2500$ soon, its nice but this much I can make by coding

Shit, what do I do to stop being stressed except for seeing a psychologist.

May my failure make you smile today

I recently started work as a Senior Software Engineer at a top company, I can't help but have this immense impostor syndrome...I just feel like people at work are closely anticipating my failure...it's fucking crippling.

"If it’s a good idea and it gets you excited, try it, and if it bursts into flames, that’s going to be exciting too. People always ask, ‘What is your greatest failure?’ I always have the same answer—We’re working on it right now, it’s gonna be awesome!" - Jim Coudal

The new project is still in the analysis phase and I can already smell failure, just based on the interaction between analysts.

Build failure on Friday

I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."

Nightly anxiety is a new concept that I'm embracing.

On tonight's episode:
> The boss did not like my work.
> He was being nice when he said it's good work.
> I am a failure and should immediately go and get a degree in nail design and work as a minimum wage nail artist. Or hair dresser. Or even cleaning crew.

... This is fun. 😐

Oh come on, checkboxes are for booleans, buttons for actions... *hrmpfgrmlwtfisthisshit*

(note: the resizing is not a ui failure but from cropping two screenshots handsfree)

Just found out I have more work than I can manage stacked up until mid 2018 - all for me and where I am a single point of failure. I have several manager fighting for me and some smaller pieces of work mixed in too.

Any advice on how to get a raise while my stock is high?

"Almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." - Steve Jobs

"What we got here is… failure to communicate." - Cool Hand Luke

Now it's over and failure seems certain...

In fact I'm certain that the interview app on my browser flickered for a second and showed some form with a red Failed text before displaying a Thank You page...

So it seems if I really want to get a tech offer, I have to focus on algos big time.... Hm....

// Do not push to github
aweful_hack = failure(self)

Ok so I bought a new phone yesterday and my entire day today has been massive failure and loss.

I have to get various things done but fuck!!!
Help me

Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.

3 years ago,
Team of 3(team's first and last competition together). ICPC ACM Multiprovisional round.
1st question super simple. Teammate came up with the algo.
I was the one who wrote the code. Missed a brace after a 'if' statement.
Wasted 45 mins, debugging and coming up with new approaches. From a possible top 10 rank finish, we got 44th at the end of the competition.
If I wouldn't have done this silly mistake, our team wouldn't have failed.

"Failure configuring windows updates"

hey Mark, everything is fine,
Come oooooout man, everything is back online
💩💩💩

(Unfortunately, Mark is went insane after the failure 😭😭😭)

Once there was this fucking recruiter who actually had the nerve to call the head-secretary of the entire R&D department of the company my girlfriend works at, to ask to be put through to her after explicitly telling the secretary what the reason for the call was.
I mean, even if my girlfriend wanted to be contacted by some shitforbrains single-celled lowlife like you, how stupid can you be, calling the head-secretary for at least 400 people and then telling them you are headhunting?

Personal projects, I think, are 50% of the battle, and projects you are required to complete are the other 50%.

Personal projects encourage you to try new and hard things without too much fear of failure.

Required projects make you learn something and complete it.

Both are absolutely essential to craft a well-rounded dev.

*This is not a technical rant*
I feel like a failure of a person tbh

My lecturer gave us a piece of very buggy software with no API which we use to model computer networks. It literally says in the assignment specification "Your program must run for at least 60 seconds before crashing."

These people are setting us up for failure.

Will never understand recruiters who try to put me in positions that I am not qualified for.

No I do no qualify to be a Level III engineer at Amazon or a senior level developer at a large corporation that requires kernel level of knowledge. I work at a barely functioning small company. Stop trying to set me up for failure.

"We unfortunately live in a corporate world where group decision making is made to avoid failure rather than to achieve success." - Bill Cahan

Am I more active because I am feeling good, or is it because it's too hot here? 🤔

Anywho, giant NN classifier, come at me!

PS. I think it's gonna be a a major failure, but YOLO. 😜

CLEARLY! ...

I'm drunk.

//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();

foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}

return 'fuckyou';

});

I'm interning and working on something above my skill level and it works for the most part but I think I may have done it completely wrong for like the past week :') everyone is on paid vacation and I'm just sitting here like a baby bird with a broken wing

"halp"

Pls no anger if it doesn't do exactly what it is supposed to. I am frail.

If at first you don't succeed, blame the framework; then the language; then your colleagues and eventually fall into a deep depression when you realise that the only person you truly have to blame is yourself.

Then blame the framework again, and suggest an immediate move to the latest ill-advised JavaScript contraption in spite of horrified gazes from your disillusioned colleagues.

Wrote my first story. Put my whole soul into it. Sent it off to be reviewed for publishing. Got a "nope" without even one word why or on how to make it better. My life is a failure.

First thing Wednesday morning, fired up the macbook, opened vs code, ran the same unit tests that were passing last night, 1 failure! FML.

For some reason an Angular form that was valid with the same data last night isn't this morning. Probably some crappy date issue in the mock data

The classic failure a developer of absolute secured system do is subestimating the ingenuity of stupid morons

dfox, trogus, can you give us information about the success (or failure) of the new financing? I think a lot of us who care about this app are interested in this.

When you testing your exception handling by throwing an exception, but the code throwing the exception has a bug and throws an exception, so you think it works... d'oh

Build Failure

I love 2:30 am support calls, especially for a system I know nearly nothing about and when I'm supposed to be 4th in line for a call.

Hopefully I made the right decision. Now let's see if I can fall back asleep.

Last day at work: goodbye overnight sessions breeding over some arcane legacy code that blew up in prod or manually restoring dozens of backups because the customer continued to work while systems went down due to power failure.

Colleagues last commit message at that place: It just works (Friday 8pm then shipping the code to prod)

I graduated from a bootcamp this February, moved to London and I was certain someone will hire me in the first two weeks. I have never been this wrong

Developed an app to display examination seats allocated by an algorithm developed by someone else.

The algorithm goes berserk and allocates randomly. Spectacular failure of the system follows.

Everyone blames me for all the trouble.

The algorithm developer smiles in the background. WTH!

Learning how to not be an epic failure at Webdevelopment :D

I've had enough of recruitment phone calls, from now on if they don't follow:
1) Look at the FAQ made solely for them.
2) Contact me exclusively through email or chat(Skype) indicated by me.

I'll not f*ucking care about them.
My memory is not made to record perfectly every single call from any job offering, I'm sick of getting lost in memories of calls that, in the end, sound really similar between each other. F*ck this system of "I need your number to keep in touch with you(or update you) about this offer".

Kidney failure feels EXACTLY like getting dangerously overheated & dehydrated while being seasick.

The development life cycle when taking over a project is much like that of a slightly retarded wizards first steps into utilizing the powers of the dark forces.

CONFUSION => CLARITY => FAILURE => CONFUSION => CONFUSION => BROKEN KEYBOARD => CONFUSION => UNKNOWN MAGIC => SUCCESS => CONFUSION => BORED OF THIS IT FUCKING WORKS => PUSH => SHUTDOWN

Anyone else makes 50 projects in a popular framework then never finishes them and they just sit there with all the potential untouched and unknown to the world? Well that would be me!

Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team

copying field data from one table to another,

wondering why the execution takes so long,

since your copying only data from three rows,

realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨

I'm taking a year out from my degree to do a software dev placement. I fought hard to get it and totally smashed the interview. But I'm still nervous as all hell and not sure I want it.

I think it stems from not actually feeling like I'm a real dev yet. I feel like I'm a big fish in a small pond at uni, which is why I took the job. That and the fact I never really made many friends there. Still can't shake the feeling that I'm just going to fail miserably...

I guess this is what they call "impostor syndrome".

Recent experience:

- Installed openSUSE Tumbleweed
- Installed mariadb
- Tried to start the service (several times) with failure
- Searched online, made adjustments as per the suggestions. No luck
- Reinstalled related packages
- Tried again and failed
- Deleted everything in /var/lib/mysql
- Tried again ... and 👍

Just sharing

> checking it once
> checking it twice
> on production it still fails in front of our eyes
> programmers are coming back to the office

Moments when you give wrong estimate and then have to sit up all night.
Fuck estimates. I will never get them right.

I keep forgetting to design for the failure path, so my product is an accurate depiction of society, where everybody has a convenient excuse to not handle issues and the slightest problem ends up collapsing everything.

A couple of years ago, I was invited for an interview after applying for a part time job as a C/C++/Assembly developer with customer contact to earn a bit of money while studying at university.
Throughout the whole interview they didn't ask me a single question related to the work I was expecting to do. Just a couple of questions about my team skills, how I would react in certain difficult situations and how my studies were going. Nevertheless they seemed pretty pleased with me and asked when I could start.
I was somewhat irritated by that, especially because I was still a beginner in some areas and made that quite explicit in my application. I asked what kind of projects I would be working on and what skill level was expected of me.
"It's pretty straightforward. Just pick up the phone and go through the checklists we'll provide. You'll pick it up quickly."

Wait what?!

Turns out they didn't have an opening for a programmer. They were looking for somebody for a first level phone support minimum wage job and simply used an old ad for a programmer's position "to attract more technically minded people".

I rejected respectfully...

What the actual fuck? Who even does something like that?

Resizing my partitions without backup and moving them between disks.

Never had a failure but i guess it could be risky

Great. Hard drive dying on our server. Thankfully since I rebuilt the RAID, now I can handle a short then failure on a raid 10... Ugh. Stupid cheap drives.

after a 24h forced shift working to recover from a raid server failure , the first thing you do is check your notes and see if all is working fine
cool! let's go out 😎

Catastrophic Unix failure :(
Full server rebuild ( samba, Apache, cloud) adding back all little tweaks
Thank God for daily backups (full backup restore failed to solve the problem, probably some weird pam issue)
FML 😄

Is there anyone here who dealt with gaming addiction? I want real world responses, succes or failure stories. Not some third rate blog post copy paste replies please.

Getting out of bed at 11pm to fix an etl failure. I was just about to get off devrant and go to sleep... (the second sentence was !true

There we go again...
I can't remember how many times I saw something like this. It seems like ignorance already become a new standard in IT recruit world😎
Should I give a thumbs up just for daring to ask?!

1 CEO, 3 CTO and 2 Polytechnicien (French engineers from a big French school)
They all deserved that their project called "life" were cancelled. It's a clear and indisputable failure!

That moment when a developer is responsible for network switch failure due to lightning 😱😱😱

When I started using Ubuntu for the first time it took like 3 tries to install the OS. After successful installation, all it took was two days and I had somehow corrupted everything. Next time I managed to keep everything together a bit longer, maybe a few weeks. Now, multiple fresh OS installations later, I am happy to say that I have not conducted any major fuck-ups in years. It's the learning curve, yo.

Office manager/HR:

• this is fucked up!
• I fucking hate this shit of a job
• I took a pay cut to get this job MF
• come near me and I'll cut you #moodtoday

Anyone else have similar experience with HR?

Decided to make apps and try to make money on a solo venture with the android app store, plan in mind to go at iphone when money is made.

It's not going well

Guess I'll starve and die

Damn you Chrome, piece of shit who doesn't support (without breaking completely the layout) the <object> tag inside a flexbox container. Wasted two hours of my life.

I currently have to finish some intermediate report for a big international research project which my CEO forced us into because of the incentives. But he doesn't care for any of the research and just want to get the money.
Due to my inexperience I promised some things for this project, which now prove to be untenable. And now I realize all this and I get to deal with small anxiety attacks (especially today).
I just want to say "fuck you all" and go, but this no real option for me. That makes me totally exhausted, especially because it feels like a personal failure. :/

Your pizza with Uxbridge is on its way and should be with you in -32 minutes.

Well the timing is accurate at least but the failure to name the vendor looks deliberate.

If you backed something, and they ask you to provide a name to include in their special thanks would you:

- Use your full name for whatever the outcome will be (successful project or just a terrible failure)
- Use a nickname (Like this one on devRant)

Not a rant, positive news instead. Finally after 2.5 years of searching I found a new job! Especially after a interview that I thought went south very quickly. Ended up with an offer 30 minutes after the fact.

I hate Windows! BSOD and many other *famous* errors waste my time resolving them.

This happens to me every 6 months and it is so fucking annoying !

The system repairs are so fucking futile! They take so much time *attempting repairs* and in the end give me a failure message.

Got messages 4 out of 5 vacation days.
I feel like a failure