Analysis

No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING FUCKING SQL QUERIES AND CALLING IT AI!

No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING SIMPLE DATA ANALYSIS MACROS AND FUNCTIONS IN EXCEL!

Stop labelling everything as AI, you attention and investment seeking morons! @&£$¢×xo##!

It's not fake.
Really.
It's not.

Rough analysis of LinkedIn inmail’s I get:

Hi <5% of time, not my name>,

I was looking at your profile <97% a lie>. I was very impressed with your <10% something I’ve never done> experience working for <5% a company I’ve never heard of>. Would you be interested in hearing more about <60% a job I’m not suited for>, they offer amazing benefits and have a great culture!

... no

Husband wanted to not go out after dinner to "go cuddle in bed." This apparently is code for him browsing mathmatica stack exchange and reading books on data analysis with R... 😂

It finally happened. Upper management is demanding a historical (7+ years) of lines-of-code analysis of our entire code base. They want to justify our positions by validating that the lines-of-code has increased in accordance with the economy. I am not kidding. For every year, they expect some percent increase in our lines of code.

ANDDDDDD the award for most useful graph goes TO…

Being part of the team who did the initial investigation and analysis on the wannacry ransomware which took down our hospital. 100 hours in one week getting everything back online. Was intense but amazing!

Year 2200, somewhere unknown. A robot drone flies above a now destroyed city. As it slowly descends down, it finds it's way into a building. In the rubble, a monitor is still flashing. The drone moves toward the monitor. After few minutes of analysis, drone releases a connector from it's belly. It connects to CPU nearby. After scanning the system for another few minutes, it's apparent the system was not the new OS which the Government released and Mandated. Rather, a prehistoric OS which legends spoke in hushed tones. An OS so powerful, which controlled then millions of computers.

Like the story so far? Should I continue?

A client came to the startup I was working at, to discuss a potential schools/universities based project. Their requirements were as follows

1. Full control of every class's daily routine (based on teacher's availabilities).
2. Multiple-choice exam feature (Timed).
3. Individual dashboards for teachers, head of departments, the Headmaster for every school onboarded on the platform.
4. Scores analysis of every student in every class (Report card).
5. Attendance feature for every student.

And so on.

Guess their budget for the above.

200 USD. FUCKING 200 US Dollars !!!!

My stomach hurt that day from laughing.

I have been gone a while. Sorry. Workplace no longer allows phones on the lab and I work exclusively in the lab. Anyway here is a thing that pissed me off:

Systems Engineer (SE) 1 : 😐 So we have this file from the customer.
Me: 😑 Neat.
SE1: 😐 It passes on our system.
Me: 😑 *see prior*
Inner Me (IM): 🙄 is it taught in systems engineer school to talk one sentence at a time? It sounds exhausting.
SE1: but when we test it on your system, it fails. And we share the same algorithms.
Me: 😮 neat.
IM: 😮neat, 😥 wait what the fuck?
Me: 😎 I will totally look into that . . .
IM: 😨 . . . Thing that is absolutely not supposed to happen.

*Le me tracking down the thing and fixing it. Total work time 30 hours*

Me: 😃 So I found the problem and fixed it. All that needs to happen is for review board to approve the issue ticket.
SE1: 😀 cool. What was the problem?
Me: 😌 simple. See, if the user kicked off a rerun of the algorithm, we took your inputs, processed them, and put them in the algorithm. However, we erroneously subtracted 1 twice, where you only subtract 1 once.
SE1: 🙂 makes sense to me, since an erroneous minus 1 only effects 0.0001% of cases.

*le into review board*

Me: 😐 . . . so in conclusion this only happens in 0.0001% of cases. It has never affected a field test and if this user had followed the user training this would never have been revealed.
SE2: 🤨 So you're saying this has been in the software for how long?
Me: 😐 6 years. Literally the lifespan of this product.
SE2: 🤨 How do you know it's not fielded?
Me: 😐 It is fielded.
SE2: 🤨 how do you know that this problem hasn't been seen in the field?
Me: 😐 it hasn't been seen in 6 years?
IM: 😡 see literally all of the goddamn words I have said this entire fucking meeting!!!
SE2: 😐 I would like to see an analysis of this to see if it is getting sent to the final files.
Me: 🙄 it is if they rerun the algorithm from our product. It's a total rerun, output included. It's just never been a problem til this one super edge case that should have been thrown out anyway.
SE2: 🤨 I would still like to have SE3 run an analysis.
Me: 🙄 k.
IM: 😡 FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU

*SE3 run analysis*

SE3: 😐 getting the same results that Me is seeing.
Me: 😒 see? I do my due diligence.
SE2: 😐 Can you run that analysis on this file again that is somehow different, plus these 5 unrelated files?
SE3: 😎 sure. What's your program's account so I can bill it?
IM: 😍 did you ever knooooow that your my heeeerooooooo.

*SE3 runs analysis*

SE3: 😐 only the case that was broken is breaking.
SE2: 😐 Good.
IM: 🤬🤬🤬🤐 . . . 🤯WHY!?!?
Me: 😠 Why?
SE2: 😑 Because it confirms my thoughts. Me, I am inviting you to this algorithm meeting we have.
Me/IM: 😑/😡 what . . . the fuck?

*in algorithm meeting*

Me: 😑 *recaps all of the above* we subtract 1 one too many times from a number that spans from 10000 to -10000.
Software people/my boss/SE1/SE3: 🤔 makes sense.
SE2:🤨 I have slides that have an analysis of what Me just said. They will only take an hour to get through.
Me: 😑 that's cool but you need to give me your program's account number, because this has been fixed in our baseline for a week and at this point you're the only program that still cares. Actually I need the account to charge for the last couple times you interrupted me for some bullshit.

*we are let go.*

And this is how I spent 40+ useless hours against a program that is currently overrunning for no reason 🤣🤣🤣

Moral: never involve math guys in arithmetic situations. And if you ever feel like you're wasting your time, at least waste someone else's money.

Using ml for most data analysis jobs is like delivering a single letter in a Boeing-747

Unintentionally Hilarious joke at work yesterday.

We were doing some data analysis, and I had to dump some stuff into a table for my colleague. So I ran the script and went to the bathroom (no.2).

When I came back, they asked me if the dump is done. And I said without thinking: "I just went." 😂

My System Analysis professor wants to fail me because I refuse to store PDF files in the database in my project.

He wants me to store THE WHOLE BINARY FILE in the database instead of on the filesystem.

When I tried to explain why that would be bad, he interrupted me and began the "you think you know more than I do? I've been teaching this for X years" speech.

How do such people become professors?

!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.

Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints

Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above

So after a long long time of analysis and debugging I found the error.

Junior dev:Hey,see my code works :)
*After analysis of code*
Senior dev:Let's talk about complexity bro
Junior dev: shit :(

I am officially hired as an Associate Business Analyst ! I made an internship as an Analyst Developper and the company enjoyed my work so they ask me if I wanted to join the team ! 🎉

In india

Teachers teach students to code, without any field experience

These students learns things tht they dont need in their life and becomes teachers

The cycle continues...

From my genius analysis, we can see that these students need not go to a company to work like a horse,

Why are we in a company working like a horse?

When scrolling through free Udemy courses for fun, my gf says:
"Whaaaat? Data analysis with Panda and Python? Isn't that shit dangerous? Like they go in the jungle and stuff?"
Me:"oh..."

(Disclaimer: She has no background in CS)

I didn't know they had a name for it. I thought I am the only one dev who is affected by this. Phewwww

An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.

I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:

- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break

Way too little people are able to answer:

- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?

Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..

Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..

Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.

I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.

Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.

Since I moved from pure dev to Code Forensics, and studying with Forensic Computing students (who do one module on security), the amount of Kali Linux wallpapers on a Windows machine is overwhelming.

It's like the entire class watched three episodes of Mr Robot and now thinks they can change the world with a goddamn semester of teaching!

700 years ago, some monk scraped down the ink from a book, so he could reuse it to write down his stupid prayers.

Recent analysis uncovered that the book he scraped was “Method” by Archimedes that outlined the basics of calculus 1000 years before Leibniz.

It makes me feel miserable and helpless when I think how more advanced our world would be if it didn’t happen. I realize he probably didn’t go like “hehehehe I’m erasing scientific knowledge because religion is better”, and just did what he thought was better, but I feel bad nonetheless.

I was asked to map a mathematical problem to an algorithm for first round of interview. I did it in 5 lines with O(n) and it worked. was told that was not the correct answer sent me an answer with O(n^2) and about 40 lines. in anger, I sent a five page mathematical proof along with analysis why mine was better. surprisingly, they took me in for second round. tanked it because I continually stuttered and froze. I was able to answer it once I got home. decided against sending it.

Currently, a classmate and I are working on our technical thesis.
It is all about industry 4.0, IIoT, big data and stuff.
This week, we presented our interim results to our supervisor. He is very pleased with our work and made the following suggestion:
He thinks it would be awesome to publish our work on our own GitHub repository and make it open source because he is convinced that this thesis is able to kind of "set a new standard" in some specific fields of using big data analysis in production processes.

I guess I'm kind of proud :)

My internship is coming to an end and I think my boss is testing my limits.

So, in the beginning of this week, he assigned me a non reproducible bug that has been causing trouble to the whole team for months.

Long story short, when we edit or create a planned order from the backend, once in fifteen, a product is added to the list and "steals" the quantity from another product.
Everyone in the company has experienced this bug several times but we never got to reproduce it consistently.

After spending the whole week analyzing the 9 lines of JS code handling this feature, reading tons of docs and several libraries source code. I finally found a fix by "bruteforce testing" with selenium and exporting screenshots, error logs and snapshots of the html source.

This has been intense but was worth the effort, first, I fix a really annoying bug and second, I learned a lot of things and improved my understanding of Javascript.

Company: “we need you to engineer this for one of our clients because you’re an engineer and this is what we pay you for.”

Me: “sure no problem”

Company: “we also need you to do a cost benefit analysis, risk/reward analysis, gap analysis and swot analysis for market fit and business finance because we didn’t task anyone else with doing it and since we’re already paying you for this other thing you may as well do this too”

Me: (opens up resume.docx) “yeah I’ll uh…I’ll get right on that”

Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley was "coding" on VS Code using a combination of Python and TypeScript for an analysis tool(season 5 episode 8)

This predicts Ryan Dahl's Deno bein the fucking bomb

It also shows that Gilfoyle is pretty cool

Client : We need real time analysis.

Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.

Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.

Me : Okay

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!

Had to spent a bit of time doing some statistical analysis today and decided to give R a shot. I could have done it in python but I knew it'd be a bit of hassle.

3 lines of code later I had the plot I wanted.

Here is the first step of my software that will keep track of "what bills am I currently paying?" throughout your day. This is analysis mode, you can specify your expenses and income (after tax) in a json file and it will build this report for you.

Here's an example with relatively realistic figures

The next step is to visualize it and have it render some charts and graphs. Yay!

If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:

I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Me while sitting through my Systems Analysis and Design class last semester

CTO: Research, problem analysis, customer need validations, and data based prioritisation is stupid.

Me: So, then why should we solve this problem?

CTO: Because my team invests a lot of time in here (read "because we build a shitty system in past without thinking and we are doing it again").

Me: I don't see this as a good idea.

CTO: I become emotional when I request product to align and they don't. We must solve this problem and not what customers want.

Me: I am not participating here.

CTO: And I want you to work on weekends to support my team.

Me: *disconnects*

11 months ago I was tasked to audit 58 computer and 6 servers including network speed analysis. In the meeting with the client & stakeholders, they asked my boss how we will achieve this. He replied... "Pen and Paper. We have interns to capture all info into a spreadsheet ". GEEEEEEEZUS!!!

Never mess with a motivated developer. I will make your life difficult in return.

Me: we need server logs and stats daily for analysis
DBA: to get those, you need to open a ticket
Me: can't you just give me SFTP access and permissions to query the stats from the DB?
DBA: No.

*OK.... 🤔🤔🤔*

*Writes an Excel Template file that I basically just need to copy and paste from to create a ticket*

This process should not take me more than 2mins 👍😁😋🙂😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙

For them.... 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

I love GDB on CLI!

I'm using an OSS tool for multi-threaded testing stuff, and it's nice but segfaulted after 30 minutes.

I was too lazy to set up an IDE project and click through tons of stupid shit, so I just compiled the tool with debug symbols, fired up GDB on CLI, let it run until a crash, got a strack trace and quickly found the problem.

I sent a bug analysis to the author, plus a patch which got accepted, done.

If the requirements are spaghetti what hope does the code have?

Re-implemented a Perl-based log analysis script in plain old C to make it faster.

Horrible implementation... Good times.

Graphics Card Performance Overview

As if my head couldn’t get any bigger... today we had the guys from the static analysis tool come in to show us how to use the tool and all that... the guys tell us don’t be alarmed, everyone who runs the tool for the first time has thousands and thousands of errors... my co worker did his as a “demo” and had 44 thousand MISRA errors. And a McCabe Complexity score of 700 in main().. I laughed ... and he and the guys from the tool laughed and said well fine then let’s see yours... so they set mine up to run, the room was silent, as I just smiled... only 2 MISRA mandatory errors.. and a few dozen required MISRA errors. My main McCabe score was 13.... understand both software project are working, and do very similar functions, only difference is different generation of product and who programmed it...

My boss walked in the room ... and says sooo how bad was Chris’ code as a joke... and the static analysis tool guys (who literally check people’s code for a living!) says ugh no sir, you have a very talented software engineer on your hands... we’ve never seen someone run the tool and have that few of issues... my co worker was very jealous to say the least...

Post Mortem analysis:

It was alright when I typed "SESSION_"
It also was OK when I typed "1"

But I was definitely already asleep while typing the remaining "2" and "3" characters

the line between "sleepy" and "asleep" is soooooooo thin!

Meeting with a co-worker who is supposed to do a code analysis on a large legacy project. Actually, HER project - she inherited it already years ago, and the original devs aren't in the company anymore.

Her: customer is asking this and that analysis.
Me: easily two weeks.
Her: but who will do that?
Me: you of course.
Her: but I don't know most of the code.
Me: me neither.
Her: and I don't know the protocols.
Me: google them. I'd have to do the same.

Really, I told her to google shit, which I consider as quite a slap for a co-worker. Basically, she tried to offload a complex analysis because she just wants the low effort parts of the job.

Won't happen. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!

Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.

Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"

“Hi - we’ve done an analysis of the front end codebase and we’ve determined that it would be a good idea to start using Bootstrap. Are there any concerns with this?”

“Hey - no concerns, we actually already use Bootstrap in all those places.”

“I was not aware. So you’re saying there are concerns?”

More adventures of working with data scientists:

Doing combinatorial analysis.

One of the post processing scripts throws away combinatorial information, analyses significance of individual data points instead.

Code was so complicated, nobody noticed.

Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.

Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️

Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.

Stop using anal as variable name for analysis 😅

Been at a startup for 2-3 weeks, hood some presentations about Linux and Foss stuff but they didn't have any work for anyone and as such didn't pay anything.

Pretty shitty.

So a colleague was like "hey man, I seed you making those presentations and stuff but not getting anything back, I think I might got a job for you".

And now I do small data analysis at another company. And get money.

Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.

me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw

Indian outsourcing web companies on their websites be like:
"We provide services in IOT, Machine Learning, Data Analysis, Web security analysis, blah blah"

Me excitingly joins the company and finds out, they all are PHP developers developing unsecured websites.

i want to get my own social network up and running.

so far ive got -
login 100% securely
register (1000% securely)
view someone’s profile (10^7% securely)

to add -
scrypt (maybe bcrypt, however scrypt looks like the better option)
friend a user
track their every move (ill use facebooks and googles apis for that)

to describe my product -
ai
blockchain
iot
big data
machine learning
secure
empower
analysis

call me when im a gazillionaire

but seriously, im making a social network and i hope its done by wk105 tbh

Think twice code Once, if I had a cent for every time I've jump right into the code without a proper analysis or design just to notice that my whole implementation is not functional or scalable I'd be a millionare

You know a shitty recruiter when he/she offers you a job because 'I analyzed your github profile and noticed your extensive expertise in PHP', although all you did was cloning an extremly large PHP project and made one commit over thousands of lines of code which you simply generated through a fully automated php5 to php7 converter.

Disclaimer: never wrote a line of PHP before.

When the teacher ask you to model a CAN bus to make a holistic analysis!

After you automate away task into a tool or program, do you tell your boss or keep it to yourself so they remain amazed at your efficiency and productivity?

And for data analysis ones, that you have godly data processing skills as you can somehow read a 1,000,000 line log file and find the root cause and other insights in an hour or minutes?

Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations

When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.

I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.

So this new fitness tracker includes "tone of voice" analysis, and I'm supposed to believe you're not recording every word I say all day long? Riiiight. I know what's in my production log files, and I only work in the textile industry.

I didn’t turn down a dev freelance project when the client decided against going with best practices because the solution I offered was a well-established design pattern but created a need for a financial management change she didn’t like. I stupidly built what she asked for. It worked fine in the 3rd party vendor test environment but failed on production. After hours of analysis of code to ensure no changes happened to my source during test->prod deployment, and the vendor denying they had config differences between them, and the client refusing to pay, all I could do was abandon the project.

At last !!
All projects are done!

Done 3 compiler project (with 3 separate documentation)
And 6 different Algorithms for algorithm design and analysis.(including my own project)

Been coding so hard to finish them ontime and now I made it :)

Luck, grinding leetcode and using the hottest buzzwords in your resume to spark recruiters. Or having Yale in your resume in spite of your major being deer fecal biology and a minor in chemical analysis of deer semen (with doctoral experience in manual extraction of semenical fluid from bucks during rutting season...and no it doesn’t count as beastiality bc it’s science and it’s an Ivy League study so it’s a-ok)

I am working on an artificial intelligence platform which does video content analysis and generate metadata tags regarding the video. Suggest me some cool name for this project.

Currently in 3 degrees bachelor in internship to be analyst-developper, yesterday my teacher came in the company where I do my internship and the man who supervise me said to him that I was just "perfect" I am the kind of person that they dream to hire, that's cool it makes me happy, but unfortunately the team is full :-/

I fixed my big data processing code, I think. If all works as planned, I'll wake up to some processed data that I can do some statistical analysis on... I hope...

Boss: We should port our internal finite element analysis software to an app. We could use phonegap!

Me: Sure... We'll look into that.
My mind: Nope. No. Never. Dear God. Why. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts...

Have to go take medical analysis, take them to my doctor, go buy two pants for running, work 10 hours at least and go for a party. I think my day will be short as fuck

When someone doesn't send raw data with their analysis, I feel like they have something to hide ...

Does anyone hear in their company about risk assessment towards American tech companies and their services?

It came to my ear that many European big companies are asking analysis\risk-assessment companies about the reliance on American services and commodities because of how the big American corporations reacted at the Huawei ban.
It's like if America did this to such big Chinese company, they have proven that they cannot be reliable in the long term because of political turmoil.

Just got my first paycheck. Felt amazing tbh. Proceeded to make a little Python project to help me with high precision budgeting and budget analysis. So, any grad students here who invest and/or save half of their paycheck and use their own code to help them do it?

For starters this is my first post, found devrant the other day you're all hilarious.

I hate math, I hate proofs. I'm in a class "Analysis of Algorithms" and I have understood and do understand the importance of optimizing algorithms and data structures and I understand the algorithms and data structures themselves. That being said, I'm fucking sick of math and proofs and all this bullshit that is probably pretty important but ugggghh, I guess I just have to push through, but writing this out helped.

There was this project where a bunch a scripts had been running for three weeks analysing a bunch of fileshares. The project was in overrun and the analysis wasn't anywhere near done.

I was given complete isolation and a team of people who were instructed to do anything I needed. I had them replicate the data to as many machines as possible and I started scripting the analysis with some sample data. After half a day of collecting laptops, desktops and severs I transfered my scripts to those machines and ran the analysis in 5 hours.

I felt like I saved the project.

So I joined a course for big data analysis. And they setup a lab specifically for us. Pulling us away from the usual computer labs
AND GUESS WHAT THEY DON'T EVEN BLOODY HAVE MYSQL INSTALLED. THEY'VE CHARGED ME A FORTUNE AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN CARE TO INSTALL THE BASIC SOFTWARES AND ITS ALREADY BEEN 2 WEEKS WITH THE START OF THE COURSE AND NOTHING.
F**king hate this man!!!!

Last week I received an invitation to lead the development of a e-commerce redesign, replatforming and data migration. I was excited to work on it, and started the analysis and planning, glad to spend time focusing on quality. But Murphy's law is never asleep - this Monday, I was asked to speed things up and reduce a 4 month project to 1 week.

Best: learned to code, started writing smart-home scripts for home automation and developed biologic and quantitative data analysis scripts in Python and R.
Worst: didn't get paid to develop them and haven't got enough experience for it to be more than a hobby.

Just did a 30min presentation with my team about machine learning and face/pose analysis. Everything went perfectly well. Couldn't be better. Such a good feeling! FeelsGoodMan. Time to go to the cantina :)

<opinion>
You may be a prod ninja but I believe that every dev should have a decent level of exposure with a low level language(s). Sure you can make an HTTP server, do a sentimental analysis, topic modeling, set up multinode clusters, write ORM queries from dbs and all sorts of awesome stuffs with Python/Ruby/PHP/JS/GO etc but none of them teaches you what happens at kernel level. Things like memory leaks, threading, multiprocessing, memory allocations etc can only be better learnt from a low level language.
</opinion>

P.S. Not a C/C++ fanboy. I'm a python dev 😄

One inappropriate experience I can think of is during an internship at a multinational company that made networking and electrical components. My mandate was to do an analysis on the electrical performance of the company's products versus the competitors. It took me something close four months to measure, to compile data, do an analysis and create a report.

Then came the time to show the results to the engineering director. Let's say the news were not good, so I figured people should have their hears opened. Anyways, my supervisor and I made a presentation to abstract the main points so the information was not too difficult to process.

10 minutes into the presentation, the director of engineering just fell asleep and was snoring quite loudly. I asked my supervisor "should we wake him up?" and so we did. When he woke up, he asked us to wrap it up and pretty much gave no fucks about the results or the presentation. Nobody really cared about the results after that. Talk about wasted time lol.

Luckily I don't work at this shithole of a company today.

In modern applications it's media files that take up so much space, code files are relatively s-

*checks size of Rust project* -> 4GB wtf?
Turns out Rust Language Server generated fucking 3.6 gigabytes of "code analysis"!
Hey, I like what they're doing with RLS but seriously, 3.6 GB? I'm on an SSD, people. Every byte counts.

Rust is still 😍 though

The new project is still in the analysis phase and I can already smell failure, just based on the interaction between analysts.

My first job was writing a cloud based malware analysis system from scratch for UTSA's Institute for Cyber Security.

My direct supervisor was a womanizing, lazy, prick with a PHD. I wonder where he is now.

2 weeks ago my boss: “This are the requirements, make fronted and backend”
Yesterday we finally delivered the project and today he changed all the requirements. I have to remake everything, the only thing that will not change is the database because he made it. And it is the single source of garbage.

Types of users in devrant with high #++
Type 1. Who posts minimum rants, but each ones get most ++
Type 2. Who posts a lot of rants, but each ones gets low ++
Type 3. Who posts minimum rants, but give lots of comments even if each comment gets low ++
Tyoe 4. Who posts minimum rants, and minimum comments, but both gets high amount of ++
In which type would you classify yourself?
Or did I missed any other type...

When four issues get assigned to four different developers and the analysis and the proposed fix for each is a change to a single class file that has been locked by a fifth developer.

I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."

Late adapter to chatGPT but damn does that thing save me hours of googling shit or writing out boilerplate. I NEVER use it to solve specific non general problems but for writing tedious enums or getting me out of analysis paralysis gpt is my fucking man. And yeah I’m a century late, might as well praise high speed internet while at it lol

When you spend an hour debugging why an API call isn't working and find out YOU MADE A FUCKING TYPO! FUCK YOU ANALYSIS IS A STUPID WORD ANYWAY

I guess the devs at rdocumentation need to work on how they "analyze data" 🤣

i was learning neural networks, started with keras and was on the first tutorial where they started by importing pandas
so i switched to learning data analysis using pandas in Python where they started by importing matplotlib and i realized data visualization is also important and now I'm reading matplotlib docs...🙄

Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys.

Not a rant, but a question.

Why is their so much fear of Google and Microsoft misusing information they collect?

What proof is there of this (provide references and cases, for a proper argument)?

What would you have these companies do to resolve the issues you brought up above?

I'm sorry if I seem ignorant, I'm genuinely unaware of all this. I'm willing to learn provided it's a fair analysis.

I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..

- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"

A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron

When you see the programmer in you. 😄

A year of analysis and """agile""" development.

And now they changed the name of the main domain entity.

It's like to pass from a software for banana management to apple management.

THE ENTIRE CODE IS FULL OF THE "BANANA" KEYWORD, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

I code. I'm not a network or security admin. Did you even read my resume before hiring me? It says "math degree then data analysis then programming degree" Subnets, firewalls and security certs are not my areas of expertise. Given enough time, could I stumble through? Probably. But I'd probably come up with something worthy of mocking on networkadminrant.

I made a script that performs some analysis on data from a trading card game tournament and I would appreciate your input

So a team at on-site sent a OOM(Out of Memory) issue in our morning.
Everyone analysed the issue as being code issue since we were bringing too much data into the runtime process. The analysis was done on the heap dumps. The number of records reported by user were 1k. At the end of the day it turns the number of records were actually 100k+.
Why do people jump.to conclusions without thinking about the obvious. :-(

(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."

(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data."

For those of you that had to answer a lot of "whats the Big O of ..." questions to get a job, how often did you need to use Big O analysis to actually do the work?

So I'm in a scenario I'm uncomfortable, need some encouragement from fellow devRanters. (Looong post)

I've been working at this startup for about 10mths (since I graduated). They have been really good to me since the start, and overlooked some fuck ups I did at first.

But now I've been way more experienced , picked it up really quick. And I've basically redesigned several of their admin solutions and data products. Also, I'm basically their entire data analysis team now. I do backend (node, PHP, MySQL) and analysis for them (stats, deep learning, python, big data packaging for clients).

But seeing as I've moved in their company, and have been consulted on several major decisions, as well as built a really good relationship with some of their clients. I still haven't seen a raise, moreover I've been told that I'm expected to work from 8am to 5:30pm (9.5hrs no overtime pay). Which really pisses me off, since I know I'm worth more than what I'm paid (about 40k a year).

My brother (who's also a dev) suggested to tell them that I'm not happy at work due to this. And quit if they don't react well.

How should i bring this up? Should I really quit? This is all new grounds.

When 32 GB RAM is no longer enough...

:~$ ps -eo pid,pcpu,pmem,vsz,rss,args | grep java | sort -nrk3 | head -1
9071 117 74.6 34740516 24338652 java -Xms2g -Xmx24g -Xss40m -DuploadDir=. -jar webapp-runner-8.0.33.4.jar -AconnectionTimeout=3600000 --port 9000 heaphero.war

Finished writing code for a feature. Begins code analysis. "Analysing code" moments later "Build Failed". Really?! fucking really?! you tell me that now?

Ok granted it is nearly 1AM here I should go to bed. Good night guys!

I want to do something data-science-y.
Gimme project ideas, and where can I get the data for it?

Also, not looking for machine learning, just basic data analysis stuff.

I'm bored.

I got no sentiment for sentiment analysis today 😒

12 Stages of Software Development:

1. Analysis.
2. Development
3. Realization the whole analysis is complete bullshit and has nothing to with reality.
4. Denial about failing deadlines.
6. "Acceleration": adding more people to the project, bringing out big corner cutting machine.
7. Learning that massive amount of new features needs to be added, while the deadline is two weeks away.
8. Putting some random crap in production, riddled with horrid bugs and security flaws, to technically not miss the deadline.
9. Get the mess almost working long after the deadline has passed.
10. Maintain this steaming pile of crap for a year.
11. Start planning for full system rewrite that "Makes Everything Better".
12. Goto 1

Actors/Use cases and analysis modeling approaches as a whole are for retards that require pictures for everything they do.
Designing this shit is time consuming and should be delegated to simple board drawing rather than full featured software that can develop this monumental waste of time.

Change my mind

Project 1: A hand hygiene monitoring system intended for the NHS.

Project 2: A language analysis platform.

I just blew up at my boss again.... I'm doing something and then he asks about including a new feature and figure out if it's doable. A quick question is ok but an analysis of a new feature.... NOT WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF RESOLVING A MORE IMMEDIATE ISSUE.

OPEN A FUCKING JIRA, SEND ME AN EMAIL, AND I'LL TAKE A LOOK ONCE I'M DONE WITH WHATEVER I M DOING.

I have found that when companies say or think that they do not have large amounts of data for using even the smallest bit of data acience analysis in terms of generating a model that can assist them that they do have data. No matter the size of the organization, the data is there.

LABELED data, well now that is a other story 🥴

I don't know what to choose...

A no-brainer job in data input with security, stability and a chance of promotion or transfer to another area IT related far away in the future...

Or

An intership of one year, in systems analysis, with a 30% better salary but no guarantees after that...

During my undergraduate studies I had a Numerical analysis course. The lecturer is an old professor who was the dean of the faculty at the time, during all lessons he'd talk about his grand children and how the course is important to us the engineers. Not for a moment did he speak of the material it self... Came the test - 10 fucking questions of prove and solve in 3 hours. Had to learn the course from Indian fellows on YouTube...

I finish my internship in dev the next week and my supervisor wants to hire me as a Business Analyst, for that I have to pass some tests in an assessment center.. I hope I will success it ! 👊

I’d like to have a DevRant dataset so I can make some great visualizations, text analysis, etc. of the things we hate the most. This is top priority, thanks in advance.

Is it me or most developers just write code so it compiles and passes tests?

No documentation, no standards, no "good practices", no"good design", no software principles, no performance analysis, nothing.

I currently work in data analysis.

Yesterday one of the colleagues working in a different department came to me asking if I could fix his malfunctioning headphone set :/

I hate managing interns at my company more than half of my day goes into solving their silly issues and the rest i work on shitty small stuff. And the worst thing is they get to do all the machine learning and user behavior analysis stuff, in which i have more insight on. Being a full stack developer it sucks managing other devs. 😔

Damn those 30+ mins long stand ups. A standup shouldn't last more than 10 mins. Discuss your detailed analysis of the project outside of the standup. 😤

When you convince your client to purchase a commercial thread-dump analysis tool, and that pies of soft gives you flamegraphs like this one [excerpt].

And then your own TD analysis tool works significantly better than that.

[P.S. I wonder how many of you will spot what's wrong here :) ]

Big Data Analysis

can't spell Analytics or Analysis without "Anal", can ya?

Stop calling data analysis tool AI... Stop calling droping notifications by % of new events on occurance calculation - AI!

I'm running into an issue with code coverage... I ran the analysis and it's penalizing unused getter, setters, equals, hashcode.

And the thing is I need those getters so GSON will serialize the fields...

How do you make coverage always > 80%?

Based on current analysis, I only get 60.

Just did a group presentation for a uni exam.
Our analysis was by far the most thorough, most detailed of all the groups. Our presentation was one of the best as well.

Final score: 27/30

Why, you ask?
Because all our deltaT results were wrong. Because somewhere in the code there must be a bug in the function to calculate the transfer time between each orbital maneuver.
A bug that did not come up when we wrote that function, in spite of the multiple known test cases, which all worked fine.
We could have had a 30/30.

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK

There is a reason why we have Static Code Analysis tools.

Also, there is a reason why we have options to configure them.

Idiots will either try to follow things blindly, or try to skip it altogether. Depends on the monkey leading the band.

I have last few months left out of graduation and i don't know what should i learn. There's so much things (web dev , ai/ml, blockchain, android , cloud, ,hybrid apps, gaming, ar/vr, data analysis, security,etc) and as a cs student, i feel i should be knowing them all.

In last 6 years ,

Techs that i liked or got success in :
java, Android,python, data analysis, hybrid apps(flutter)

Techs that i didn't liked or failed in : ai/ml, cloud computing , webdev(css/js) ,hybrid apps(react/angular/ionic/...)

Techs that i didn't tried : security, cryptography, blockchain, open cv , ar/vr, gaming

I am not bound by my likeness or success.

My failures was mainly because i didn't liked those techs and continued further in them. And my success comprises of just launching a few apps, passing in some certification or grabbing an internship opp because of those skills.

But if you think a particular skill is necessary to have as a cs professional then let me know. I just want to earn a lot of money and get out of this mess asap

So... I might have to build a survey and analysis tool to be used online nation wide (the final client is the government).
The bad news, it's probably going live in a week.
Even though 90% I wrote and tested in the last 3 years (matrixes,formulas,dB, Interface elements ) from previous runs, I have to handle fronted, databases, math, testing and design.
Over a daily changing methodology and session workflow (by my direct client).
No sleep for the next few days 😭

just receive a refurbished 4 years old laptop.... then deep clean it.... now having dilemma on picking a distro......

mainly use to run data analysis (r, Python, Java, C++, mySQL, MongoDB and some cloud servers...)

my thinking about a good distro to me, comfortable appearances, customize freedom, community support and constant security update.

any suggestion people??

I have an exam of DAA (Design and analysis of algorithm) today. There are so many algorithms to remember. My head is about to explode.

So i was given two issues to be fixed, and upon analysis i found out that those issues were no longer there..😅 btw can anyone tell me some resources to follow to improve your debugging skills (I am currently working on spring technology).Would be really helpful 😀

It's really important to have a portfolio?
What's the value of a beautifull and fullfill portfolio? How it can help?

Worked entire day on an ML to predict train ticket status for Indian Railways.

While doing the analysis of the data, and trying to check/research which parameters to use and which not, I'm feeling like racist -_-.

I was looking for busy period of the year(read festive seasons) and I removed those festivals which are celebrated by minor groups.
There's more to it, but the results are better now.

Boss gives project to be done in two days and expects no bugs. Anyone familiar with that?

2X Tickets solved by rebooting the server after .Net Installation.

Client Default answer to: "Did you turn it off and on again?"

Always silence until you force the reboot after an server check and analysis.

Good day to be motivated again because my analysis always stuck on my head and i forgot to cook bacon. I regret this feeling

want to do software for my final year project but the lecturer's not in office and didnt reply my email during choosing topics, so end up with data analysis. 😴

Can anyone give me an exercise to train programming or critical analysis?

I am really not motivated and trying to give some motivation back when I want to answer some problems.

I'm a bit getting rusty on my head due to Anime and stuff.

Not sure what I wanna do ---

Backend Development or Data Analyst

Even in backend development confused between nodejs, PHP, Python though I don't have proper knowledge of all of them.

For Data Analyst I am looking the way from where I should start.

I am in 3rd year of my college
Can anyone please help me with this?

Having code review with static code analysis and running unit tests on every commit is super useful. Except when you are commiting stuff in a biggest repo in company that goes through CI in ~20min+ and if you try to additionally deploy it to dev server... you'd better brace yourself...

Has anyone here worked on news scraping?

I am currently doing my academic project where I need to scrap the news headlines. I have built scrappers for some news sources using their native API. I also tried using newsapi.org, but it returns only 10 results.

If anyone have worked on similar projects or know of their existence, some advice would be highly appreciated.

Unclogging a workflow that stretches > dozen porjects, from building to analysis of build (static / lint check etc.)… Deployment.

It's frustrating.

Touching one thing and everything falls apart.

Thus small changes, fixing the rest of workflow, testing ...

Repeat .

Going now since 1 1/2 weeks. Possibly another or two weeks more.

It is soooooooo boring tedious annoyingly frustrating slowmotion shit

-.-

I want to build sentiments into the lexical analysis part of compilers, just so that every time my coworker tries to compile his "work", the computer prints,
"*sigh* Brian, just... *sigh*"

FUCK. YOU. AYLIEN.

- For your shitty hashtag generator, that generated #FCBarcelona for a game review
- For your shitty classification endpoint
- For your shitty sentiment analysis that only works in the demo
- For your shitty image tagging that clarifai is way better at
- And for your "semantic labeling" that doesn't work

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Feeling super anxious and going through analysis paralysis

I’m playing around with packet analyser libraries (particularly pcap) and I have to say, it is fucking awesome and I’m becoming obsessed.

Did some analysis on some servers that a partner of ours is hosting:

-TLS 1.0: Hmm this isn't great
-TLS_RSA_WITH_RC4_128_SHA preferred Cipher Suite for ALL TLS Versions.

I almost barfed at my desk.

I'm having a very hard exam on tuesday, and I am very anxious about it. I feel physical pain in my chest just thinking about it.

How resource calculations for software services like code analysis, monitoring, etc are done:

Opening fridge, putting all the beer one can find in it.

Opening the necessary tools, e.g Excel, Accounting software, ....

Drinking the first beer.

Starting to aggregate the monthly costs - cause you can never trust the reports written by someone else...

First beer poof.

Looking at the monthly cost, adding columns "Intended use", "Actual usage pattern", "Usage factor"...

Opening next beer...

Usage factor is btw a factor of 0.1 ... 1.0 - to give an estimate how much the products feature are actually used, for further analysis if the invest is justified or not...

Oh. Another half bottle gone...

Filling in the columns...

Oh. Bottle empty and the next one toooooooooooooooo...

*burping*
*cracking finger joints*

Now let's get to the sad part...

Next worksheet, adding infrastructure costs...

Cost and description as columns.

Hehe. Column sounds like gollum.

Another beer...

Ugh. Need the paper reports, manually typing off things for stuff that was e.g. tax deductible.

Many beers die during this task. Poor little beers, dying for such an boring and mundane task...

SUM is a real useful function. I don't think I can add numbers anymore.

Now we can add another sheet.

Hehe. Sheet sounds like shit. And yes, everything in this file is shit.

Summing up costs from both sheets and including the cost factor from 1
... Beeeeeeeer Beeeeer beer we need more beer here... Beer beer beer...

Where was I. Oh yeah. Cost factorization total vs effective.

Why do I want to get even more drunk.

Oh yeah. Most software is completely underused and the costs aren't justified.

Let's add some colored highlighting ...

Uuuuh. ,Too much red. Better change the highlights.

Too much red.

More beer.

Don't give a fuck.

Hm.

Time for some whiskey.

What else is there to do....

Oh yeah.

Diagrams.

The bloody wankers from accounting need diagrams as numbers are too boring.

Not that everything in accounting is boring, no matter how much you paint colors on it... *sigh*

Hm. More whiskey...

Hehe. Whiskey rhymes with frisky.

Uff. Now just need to write mail. Mail mail mail....

"Copy paste the last mail from last month"

Hm.

Ah.

*sipping whiskey*

Spell check extension - to the rescue.

Thesaurus *burps*.

Let's change a few words here and there... Maybe another paragraph there.

Uh....

Trying to attach file...

*fucking mouse is pretty constantly crashing into empty beer bottles*

Done.

Damn.

Need to press send button.

*Creating mess on the desk by just randomly crashing the beer bottles*

Done.

*Pressing computers power button*

Mwahahahaha. No mouse needed.

*regretting to stand up too quickly, nearly barfing on the floor*

Couch ... Where Couch...

After hitting several doors, frames and other stuff, the glorious mission ended successfully with a most graciously executed gut buster on the couch.

(Regretting next morning to have emptied two 6 packs and a few glasses of whiskey)

So I’m a huge fan of visual studio, but it let me down today.

“Find all references” just straight up fails to find all references of a member in this big F# solution I’m documenting.

I need to be able to reliably find what I’m looking for.

Reshaper for visual studio appears to not be that maintained for F#. FML.

Download Rider evaluation on the off chance, it works flawlessly.

One begrudging commercial license purchase later (despite being the only employee) and I now have software that actually fucking works.

What a wonderful time when Microsoft’s official IDE fails in analysis of its own language.

Competing on different subjects while in school have taught me how to work efficiently under pressure. My teachers have given me a systemmatic approach to problem solving, from divide and conquer (math), careful reading and analysis of the problem, as well as good documentation (physics).

And last, but not least, I learned to type fast, which is really helpful in speedy expression of thoughts. And for that, I gotta thank IRC.

How are we feeling about the new Ryzen lineup for workstations that can do a bit of gaming on the side?

I'm so looking to go back to team red, but I don't know how beneficial the no of cores Ryzen provides is for compiling, static analysis and other dev tasks.

Anyone have experience with Ryzen for dev'ing?

 my primary goals are:

Continue to learn and improve my developer skills.
Learn and be better at system analysis (through dealing with customers) and system designTo move towards a team lead position.
Learn project management
Learning about the company to find where I can make a contribution from a business perspective rather than just an IT perspective

Which is better .. R or PYTHON
for data analysis ?

Have you ever felt that an idea hit you like a truck?

I just had that and my brain went in full analysis mode to see if the idea would hold up under all circumstances. I think it might! But for a good 5 minutes I couldn't think of anything else.

Weird how brains and thoughts sometimes work.

effin management always commiting something they didnt think through and now the team suffers the consequences of their stupid actions, one of them is that they fucking commited a night of development phase for a major code revision fuck that shit cause that major revision also came for their fucking lack of analysis and mediocre mindset during the requirements gathering phase fuck that

Hi. I'm a recent senior dev and for a long time, even before reaching senior, I'm always being overloaded with questions and meets everytime. People asking why are the services returning error (when they could at least make the first analysis and give it to me), asking me to join meets for whatever the reason, people asking how to configure environments, interns asking for help, HR asking for interns feedback. So much workload I can't even focus on the actual developments. Is this the real meaning of a senior dev? Or is this just bad management and bad company culture?

Whenever I reach the point where static analysis can't help me any further I always feel a sort of thrill mixed with terror. This is the real deal. Until now the problems were easy to find, the questions had well defined answers to choose from, the rules were universal. In the part of the logic that cannot be checked, the invariants upheld manually, where the best the type system can enforce is for the programmer to clearly state what they're doing, lies the real beast. In proofs commented on functions or invariants as logical expressions over plain English variables written in the doc comments of a struct.

In the blurry and pompous future I imagine for software development, that's where the programmer's time will be spent. Once we all agree on what a string is, what it means to depend on someone else's code, and what parts a UI should be made of, all a developer should have to do is make decisions and derive proofs an automated deduction engine can't do on its own.

Rant:
My jupyter notebook has outgrown itself on some real world trading data analysis and its becoming a pain to add to (further) and share.
Need to find better alternatives, web apps where are you?

But i know nothing about it. Learning curve ahead!

Requirements:
I've 7 interactive dashboard plots (from some data) in jupyter-notebook.
- It'd be nicer to have a web app to use them without running notebook from a different location.
- Or running notebooks remotely (running as daemons on host machine).
Any suggestions for a starter ?
rant before requirements, coz rants lead to better requirements.

if rant++:
make_requirements(what_something)
do_work(that_something)

If I wanted good feedback for my products (especially if they were geared towards developers) I would scrap devRant and do some data analysis on how our products are perceived in raw form. Would be very raw and informative insight indeed because you are at the heart of raging innovation (raging innovation: when a developer is so pissed at a flaw in a piece of software they highlight or fabricate an ingenious feature or solution) and will help not only iron the kinks out but make a better product all together. Also, of course the good aspects would be lauded.

It's getting on my nerve to constantly change from one programming language to another in one semester. We are learning web development (html css js), functional programming (haskell), speech analysis (matlab) and logical programming (prolog). It's driving me kinda mad having to change the approach for each assignment every few days.

Sales guys in my company are unbelievable. They told client that my analysis algorithm runs for about one hour, so that is the time they have to wait for results. I asked if he actually asked what hardware do they have, and if they want all analysis done (its a complex algo) paralell, or just one by one.
Ofcoursenot.
Then I suggested to better ask these things, otherwise we end up reckt. Annnnd he said they will question our professionalism if we ask too much questions.
Ok so let me summarize. My algo needs to run maximum 1 hour long, regardless the actual functionality and input data, on any fcking hw you can imagine, or else i am not a pro. Mmmkay.

What's your favourite Data analytics/ visualisation tool? and why ?

I just wasted half an hour of debugging because the NPE-analysis of our tool had thrown some serious-looking errors.

It turned out the client had checked in broken code into VCS 🤷

turns out, dealing with time series data is on another level. i clearly still have a lot to learn. finally forecasted 25 days worth of slippage

1) receive functional requirements
2) create functional specification, post it on forum (no jira)
3) create memo document, post it on forum (no jira)
4) create analysis document with actual code changes without seeing the code (wait for step 8), post it on forum (no jira)
5) receive review on analysis document, fix it and post (no jira, redmine etc from now till the end of rant)
6) after analysis is approved make a checkout request
7) source code manager checkouts files from svn and posts them on forum along with the files list
8) you make actual changes to the code, post changed sources on forum
9) source code manager makes a review to check that amendment commet is present in source code and is properly tagged, and every line of code chnged is properly tagged (you are not allowed to delete anything, not even one space, you need to comment it (and put an appropriate tag))
10) after you passed review you fill in standard compilation request form
11) you code is compiled and elf is put on testing stand
12) you fill in "actual behaviour" and "expected behaviour" columns near description of changed function in template of unit test plan document (yeah we have unit testing) and post it on forum
13) if testing ok changed sources and compiled elfs along with its versions (cksum) commited to svn (not by you, there is a source code manager for that)
14) if someone developed function in same source file as you "commited" he is warned by source code manager and fills checkout request form again
15) ...

Okay, yes, modsecurity WAF is amazing and all, but... When one tries to implement its rules atop an existing app that wasn't developed in accordance to the rules... That hurts.

How tf am I supposed to parse and present a 6.5GB / 22M line audit log to the client?! Just parsing that monstrosity once takes *minutes*, let alone doing any sort of sorting / analysis!

I feel sick. This is exactly why I am a sysadmin and not a programmer, I don't like writing analysis stuff, or programs more complex than a few hundred lines of bash... :|

I pitched this crazy sentiment analysis story and it got approved.
Which is great... only now, I have to start learning regular expressions to tokenize my data. Regular Expressions are the worst. 😒

What do you think about a SaaS for sustainability and carbon footprint analysis of raw materials in BIM information?

The aim is to create a digital platform based on analysis of complex geometric files for construction and architecture and translating that to the CO2 footprint and embodied energy for the raw materials in the building (concrete, steel, glass etc.).

This will led designers increase sustainability and make better buildings.

What are your thoughts about open sourcing this project vs. creating a proprietary software?

In nearby county to mine, coder was arrested for 3 months for nickname matching leaked terrorist nickname "grower" by coincidence. His coding education was enough reason for arrest.

All hdd/ssd/usb/mobile devices were confiscated for thorough analysis right from the morning by police.

Feeding my security paranoia. Encrypting fully filesystem(LUKS) and my internet traffic (self raised open vpn), wiping fully usbs. I ll be protected from my ISP recording my traffic, and from unauthorised access to my data.

Hey guys, I've been teaching english for the past few years, started studying System Analysis last year because I've always loved this and for tomorrow I got my fisrt interview on a IT intern opportunity in my city, any tips?

Ps: I'm 29 years old and no previous experience in the field.

Messaged my practice lead (and also good friend) with a root cause analysis as well as proposal on how to fix a problem after migration to mysql 5.7.

Now I’m waiting in defense mode to strike me back with his violent wisdom.

worst: codeSourcery cross compile tool chain. The stuff of nightmares.
Best: textmate or notepad++. Never code in them, but really usefull for a quick edit, or log analysis.

I'm taking data structures and algorithm analysis class at college but don't know how to study... I need advice, by the way the language we're using is c++

What is the gist of a function point analysis of a mobile app? I need to do one and have 2 days to learn what it is

Can someone plz tell me that are subjects like OOAD(object oriented analysis and design) or requirements engineering actually useful in real projects and jobs...?

Having to work with requirement analysis, attending to worthless meetings, acting like a project leader from time to time and developing in two projects in parallel really fucks with your head. Feels like this is hurting my ability to progress in code a lot. Anyone having the same situation?

I got my current job in the most standard manner,
1. Saw an ad for the job in the local newspaper.
2. Called the boss and had a chat with him. He sounded nice and the job sounded interesting.
3. Submitted my application and resumé
4. Boss called and we set up an appointment for an interview.
5. Met with boss and HR, had a cup of coffee and an interview.
6. Boss called and told me I'm one of two, and that he would like me to do a DISC personality analysis.
7. Met with HR and did the analysis, a bunch of questions that I answered as thoroughly as I could.
8. Boss called and said, congrats! Can you start next month? Yes, I could and it's been more than three years since :)

To make a boring story a bit more funny: Half-way through my first day, I noticed my zipper was open =:O And today I'm wearing two exactly identical socks...save for the colour, different shades of grey on left and right foot. Hush, don't tell my colleagues, maybe they won't notice ;) Well, I guess it's alright as long as I'm not wearing nothing but underwear, or being butt naked, like in some nightmares.