“Hi - we’ve done an analysis of the front end codebase and we’ve determined that it would be a good idea to start using Bootstrap. Are there any concerns with this?”

“Hey - no concerns, we actually already use Bootstrap in all those places.”

“I was not aware. So you’re saying there are concerns?”

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

Send the dev a request for a design before they do a delicate process. They send back some mess done in MSPaint and a ton of select statements, with no context or explanation.

Send back an example of what they need to work through. Get back a response saying that the previous spec was just a draft, and once they complete development they’ll complete the design.

Why would I want a design once it was too late? What would be the point?

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

Designing a framework: design the framework. Have a bunch of drinks. Try use the framework. Sober up and examine how you’ve butchered it.

Adjust the framework.

Happy Halloween guys!

GODDAMNSIT when you have a perfectly good rant to rant but it’s long and it’s a pain to write on a mobile and devRant DOESN’T HAVE A REAL SITE

I get listening to music while you code, but I’m afraid I just can’t believe in watching a TV show while you code. You’re not coding, you’re watching a show. Or if you are coding, the level of code that’s being written is probably low enough to make it a waste of time.

This guy keeps insisting there’s a bug in my code, on a specific line. The stack trace shows that a NPE is thrown in his code, before that line is reached, but he won’t be persuaded by this argument and won’t send me the class.

Somehow he’s certain that Java would throw a NPE on trying to iterate through an empty list, as if his code was even returning an empty list. Can you imagine the chaos.

Yeah, I commented the code.
// ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

"When I try make a change, system XYZ is not happy do you know why?"

Really? That's all you're giving me to go on?

My favourite bug reports are the ones for where something is missing. No details on pages, or steps to recreate, but they do include a screenshot.

Essentially, they go "Here's a picture of something that isn't there."

Great, thanks, I'll get right on that.

Let none say it wasn't a productive day.

Yes, come tell me there's a user experiencing an issue, but you don't know on which page or exactly what it was. I'll fix that right away.

Dude comes for an interview for a mobile position - one of the first things he says is "Adobe is killing Flash, don't know why, big mistake."

Never forget.

"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"

"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"

"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.

That's just what it looks like.

These devs keep getting hold of me to tell me that what I told them to do worked.

Well, yeah. That's why I said to do it.

So, they've decided that they "don't need architecture."

The development principle behind this project was the infinite time/monkey/IDE approach.

Forget StackOverflow profiles, recruiters should look for devRant profiles.

Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.

When you've been without a clue for ages, life just isn't making sense anymore, and then you realise your IDE imported java.awt.List

They did the worst thing you could do to a self-respecting dev.

They asked him to pop around to HR to have a head-shot taken.

They've told me I'm going to have to start doing timesheets.

When should I tell them I'm going to start producing work much more slowly?

Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.

I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"

"Nope."

I just remind myself, there are always options.

https://theregister.co.uk/2017/07/...

‪And verily, he looked upon the codebase and cried out, "Who has done these terrible things?".

And there was wailing and gnashing of teeth.‬

So I'm dealing with an Apache Tomahawk schedule component that's started acting up.

It turns out that when you click on a time slot, instead of just posting up the time slot, it posts back to the server the component you clicked on (the whole calendar), and the y position of the click.

Now, imagine the user has zoomed in... yeah, shit stops working.

This developer keeps sending me issues he finds in his code. I think he wants to be a tester.